Lois walked into Chloe's hospital room a little later that morning to discover her cousin sitting up in bed, watching a TV mounted on the wall on the opposite side of the room. She had more colour today and Lois was so relieved to see that her condition hadn't reversed itself. She'd been half afraid of coming here today and finding her back in a coma.
As she walked further inside, Chloe's bright smile washed over her and she quickly turned the TV off. "Lois! You're here."
There was a note of hidden relief in that sentence and Lois wondered if Chloe had been thinking she wouldn't return. She didn't know what to think of that but it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Surely Chloe didn't think she would abandon her now?
Why not? You did before. Her inner voice spoke up. That was so very different, she argued back.
"I said I would be back didn't I?" she replied, smiling as she carefully lowered herself into the chair next to Chloe's bed. "Where's Oliver?"
"He's getting me some real food, I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks. But don't tell the nurses." she whispered in a conspiratorial tone.
Lois chuckled. "Your secret's safe with me."
Something in Chloe's eyes flickered at that, but she just smiled and said. "So where's Clark?"
"Blur business. He got this really weird look on his face, said he had to go and then just took off."
Silence fell over the room as Chloe's eyes drifted down to Lois' stomach. "So…how are you? How's the baby?"
"He's fine."
"He?" Chloe's eyes went wide before her face broke out into a grin. "I'm gonna have a nephew?" She clapped her hands together excitedly before the smile fell, which had Lois sitting forward abruptly.
"What's wrong?"
"Am I going to be his aunt?" she asked, her tone unsure and it was like a kick to the gut for Lois.
"Oh sweetie, of course you are. Let's face it, with me as a mother, this little guy is going to need all the help he can get."
Chloe shot her a reproachful look. "Don't say that Lois. You're gonna be a great mom."
She shrugged. "Well at least he's got Clark as a father. That man is going to be an amazing dad."
"Yeah I can see that." Chloe shook her head in awe, still staring at the large bump Lois was sporting. "I still can't believe you're pregnant. Clark never knew that it was possible."
"I know, he told me." Lois swallowed thickly, because talking about Clark, not knowing if he was ever going have a real family of his own, was playing havoc with her emotions. She just felt like bawling at the moment and she knew she couldn't. Not here anyway.
Chloe frowned as she reached for Lois' hand. "Lois can I ask you something?"
"Okay."
"Why didn't you call me?" And there it was. Lois wasn't sure she was ready for this conversation, or if Chloe was even strong enough to have it right now.
She swallowed and leaned back in her chair. "I wanted to, but I just couldn't face talking to you right then. But you have to understand something Chlo, when Clark was missing…it was like part of me was missing. Thinking he was dead…it was the worst time of my life. It hurt so much…I know I won't ever forget how that felt. I needed to be away…from all of you, for a little while."
"Five months is more than a little while." Chloe said, hurt evident in her eyes. "Lois, you didn't even tell me you were pregnant."
"Well if it makes you feel any better his father didn't find out until I came back." It was meant to be a flippant remark, but all it achieved was making Lois feel worse.
"Why did you come back?" Chloe asked and Lois was grateful that she hadn't seized the opportunity to question why she'd kept the father of her baby in the dark. Maybe she understood why she'd done it.
"Clark came to find me. Dad gave him the address of where I was staying."
"Where did you go?"
"Colorado. I stayed with Dad on the base for a while but when I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. I had to get away, far away from everything. So I went to see Fletch."
"Fletch." Chloe frowned trying to place the name. "Oh is he the guy you told me about? The one you grew up with?"
Lois nodded. "Yeah, he took me in and never asked any questions. Then when I came back here, he followed me to make sure I was okay. He only left because I told him I was okay now. But he calls me every day just to make sure." she said with a small smile, surprised that she missed him already and he'd only been gone a week. Though she was pleased that Ashley was glad to have him back where he belonged.
"So Clark found you…?"
"Yeah and let me tell you, it was a shock, him just turning up like that. He told me what had happened to you, he wasn't sure if…" She paused and tried to swallow the lump that had crept up in her throat. "He needed me to come back to see you."
"In case I died." Chloe said it for her, knowing that Lois couldn't.
She nodded slowly. "Why did you do it Chloe?" she asked suddenly, and Chloe knew what she was referring to. "How could you betray me like that?"
She took a moment to collect her thoughts, thinking how best to start. "None of us knew what would happen that day Lois. We were all in shock, and when we saw his car on that bridge, I was just as worried as you were. But then Clark called me, and I told him that I had to tell you. I couldn't keep lying to you, seeing what it was doing to you was killing me. He asked me to wait. I'm not putting all the blame on Clark here, because I'm just as responsible as he is. But please, Lois, just for a second, put yourself in my place. How could I tell you? How could I put you in that kind of danger?"
"I was already in danger Chloe, giving me some piece of mind about the man I loved wouldn't have changed that."
"I know, and I can't take it back. I wish I could but I can't. I know you probably still hate me for it, and I don't blame you, but if nothing else, can't you just at least understand that I thought I was doing the right thing? We all did."
"I understand it Chloe, I do. But you put yourself in my place. Think about it. If this had happened to Oliver and everyone but you knew he was okay, how would you feel?"
Put like that, Chloe had no choice but to face what she had done to her cousin. Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest as she thought of how Lois must've felt that night. The night that she had found out the truth, the night all their lives had changed. She hung her head, not knowing what else to say to convince Lois how truly sorry she was. But when Lois squeezed her hand, she looked up to see not anger in her eyes, but love.
"I don't hate you Chloe, I never did. I just felt so betrayed and hurt. Everyone I cared about, lied to me. Clark lied to me and I loved him so much. But through all of that, I missed you all. When Clark came to find me, I told myself it was a very bad idea to come back here, but how could I not come back when you needed me?" She sniffled a little, feeling her eyes moisten.
"I never wanted to lie to you Lo, you're my family, I would do anything to protect you. So would Clark."
"Well that's kinda how we're in this mess isn't it?" she replied, her tone a little more bitter than she'd intended it to be. She tried to soften it. "I didn't and don't need protection from the people I care about Chloe. I need honesty, love, truth."
"Clark was going to tell you the truth, both times he was diverted from doing so. The night he came back, he was going to tell you, I made sure of it too, but then we both got kidnapped by Romano's goons and…well you know the rest."
Lois grimaced, thinking back to that night. Unaware that she was rubbing the hand that she'd broken against his jaw when she'd punched him, Lois sighed. "I hated him Chloe."
"Who Clark?"
"Yeah. For a while, I really hated him for putting me through that."
"And now?"
Lois frowned, not allowing her thoughts to go down that road at the moment. She shook her head. "What happened after I left Chloe? Clark told me some things, but I want to know how you all fell apart so badly. Clark said he barely saw you in months."
"That wasn't his doing, it was mine. I couldn't bear to see him because every time I did, I was reminded of you and what we'd done to you. Not that it really mattered anyway, what little I did see of him wasn't pleasant. He was a mess, Lois. And I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. He wouldn't talk to me, Ollie, his parents. Anyone. He was really a mess. Walking around like a man who'd lost the only thing he'd ever truly cared about. For a couple of weeks after you left, he refused to be the Blur."
Lois gasped, she hadn't known that. "He what?"
"Yeah, he said that the Blur was the reason he'd lost you and he couldn't continue being something he no longer believed in."
Lois shook her head, refusing to believe that Clark could get so bad that he would give up saving people. "But he's been training with Jor-El."
For a second, Chloe's eyes widened. "You've been to the Fortress?"
Lois' eyes flickered dangerously, warning Chloe to tread carefully. "Should I be surprised that I'm the last one to know about that place too?"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean…uh, anyway, yeah it took a major intervention from his mom, dad, me, Oliver and even Jor-El himself to get Clark to snap out of it. I may not have wanted to be around him much, but I knew if he gave up helping people, he would never forgive himself. He was just acting out of grief. He missed you so much. We all did." she added that last part in a quiet voice that Lois barely heard.
This was too much to take in, so she decided to change the subject. "You broke up with Oliver."
Chloe sighed, that familiar pain squeezing her heart again. "Yeah, he couldn't understand it, but I just couldn't…I couldn't go on pretending to be happy with him after what I had done. I felt like I didn't deserve it."
Lois pinched the bridge of her nose, this was all a little overwhelming. She hadn't expected it to go this way. "The Blur wasn't the reason that Clark lost me, Clark was the reason that he lost me. If he hadn't lied to me, I would've been able to handle it, maybe even help. But no, he took that decision on himself and hurt us both in the process."
"I know, and believe me, he knows that too."
Lois stared down at their hands, clasped together. "You shouldn't have broken up with Oliver. He loves you."
"Lois…"
"No, I mean it. The guy has been on the edge since you got hit by that car, he hasn't been sleeping. He misses you Chloe."
Chloe looked at her softly. "And Clark misses you."
"This isn't about me and Clark. Everyone deserves to be happy sweetie, so please, just fix it. Promise me that you'll fix things with Oliver."
Chloe watched Lois intently. Was asking her to fix things a way of not having to look too closely at her relationship with Clark? Was she substituting her own happiness by making sure she and Ollie got theirs? As she nodded her head, Chloe inwardly sighed. This was all still such a mess.
"He still loves you Lois." She took a chance, and was rewarded by Lois' eyes flashing in recognition. She knew it, and Chloe suspected that she still loved him too.
"Don't go there Chlo, it's too soon."
"You're having the man's baby. How much longer do you think you can hold out?" Lois opened her mouth to reply but Chloe stopped her. "No, I mean it Lois. I know what we did, but do you honestly think that you can go on like this? You have to forgive him at some point."
"I did. And then he kissed me and it all just…" she trailed off, aware that she'd said too much.
"He kissed you?" Chloe shook her head in amazement. "Again, how much have I missed?"
Lois closed her eyes and sighed, like she was resigned to having to tell her about it. "We had a little chat in his barn a few weeks ago. A lot of things were said, a lot of things weren't. But I did forgive him, and I still do. But he kissed me, and… I wasn't ready for that. I don't know if I ever will be again."
"Oh Lois, don't shut yourself off to the possibility."
And just like that, she shutters came down in her eyes and Chloe knew there would be no budging her on this particular subject. But Chloe also knew that when it came to Clark Kent, Lois Lane's defences stood no chance. He was probably the only person on the this entire planet who could get through to her. She just hoped that it wouldn't take too long for that to happen.
"What's important is this baby, we need to focus on him right now. Everything else can wait."
Chloe nodded, clearly knowing when to change the subject. Clark Kent was not up for discussion, at least, not right now. "Okay. So what's the news on Romano?"
"Speaking of, what were you thinking? Going after him alone was a bad idea Chloe." she said sternly.
Chloe glanced around the room with a wry smile. "Yeah I got that memo. But I had no choice if I wanted to bring him down…"
"I shouldn't have left you to deal with that on your own. I'm sorry for that Chlo."
"It's not like you didn't have a reason Lois."
She tilted her head and smiled. "True. Okay so how about we're both sorry and leave it at that?"
"Sounds good to me."
The two women locked eyes for a moment, and a small smile crept slowly up their faces. Lois' hand squeezed hers.
"It's so good to have you back Lois. I really missed you." Chloe whispered, feeling the tears threaten.
"I missed you too. I love you Chlo, but please promise me that you won't ever lie to me again."
Chloe put a hand on her heart. "I swear I will never do that to you again. I love you too Lois."
Lois grinned and swiped at a tear falling down her cheek. "So let me fill you in on what's been happening. Clark and I went to see Mayor Dawson this morning…"
It was late afternoon by the time Lois left Chloe's hospital room. She felt better for having had that conversation, but parts of it still bothered her. She couldn't get Chloe's words about Clark out of her head.
He was still in love with her, he missed her. She pressed her lips together, forcing the thoughts out of her head as the object of them appeared outside the hospital's main entrance. He smiled as she got near and then fell into step next to her. She tried not to notice how good he smelled, how the wind kept blowing a lock of his hair in a curl over his forehead.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, and she knew he was referring to her visit with Chloe.
"Yeah, I think we're...I think we're good. Ouch!" She stopped and bent over, trying to catch the breath that the baby had just kicked out of her.
"Lois?" Clark was right there, holding her shoulders, his face concerned as he towered over her.
"That was a strong one." Lois said, still a little breathless.
"Maybe we should go and see Emil, or Jor-El."
"No, no I'm fine. We need to get back to work."
His face darkened for a split second. "You're not working like this Lois. I'll call Perry and ask for the afternoon off. There's something I need to talk to you about anyway."
His face was giving nothing away and it was frustrating her. "What is it?"
"I want to talk about what's going to happen after the baby comes."
Before she could answer, she was hit with another wave of pain, this time much stronger. She cried out and doubled over, grabbing Clark's arm in a vice-like grip.
"That's it. We're going to see Jor-El."
She didn't have a chance to say anything because he'd already picked her up in his arms, walked into the alley next to the hospital and the next thing she knew, they were moving at the speed of sound.
To Be Continued...