This chapter has been brought to you by the cute guy at Geek Squad who admitted to liking Twilight, my dad for being the king of warranties, and the support all you beautiful readers gave me while I was away. You are truly the driving force behind this story and I will forever be appreciative of your patience and respect.
Chapter Song: I've Seen Enough by Cold War Kids
I don't own Twilight, but if I did I would dress a hell of a lot better than SM did to the premiere of the freaking movie adaptation of my book ;) just sayin...
Bella was sitting in her bed. No words or sounds came from her as she stared at the doorway fixedly. The quiet was overwhelming and severe. I couldn't make my lips form the questions I wanted to ask her.
Was she okay? Did she want to tell me anything? Did she not want to talk about it for a while? Was she in need of anything?
I sighed as my courage failed me again and the questions still stayed locked in my head, where they would drive me crazy until one or both of us broke. I could feel her withdrawing, and it worried me. She had only woken up a few hours ago.
To learn your father was dead, the police had arrived to get your statement and have you relive the trauma you'd been through the night before, and deal with everyone knowing the truth you had worked to hide for so long was tough for even the strongest person. Bella was falling apart in silence and manufactured smiles.
The fear in her eyes when the police knocked on her door earlier this morning was a distinct memory that replayed itself like a broken movie reel in my head. It went against my better judgment to leave them alone with her as she went through one of the most emotionally draining things of today, but I didn't have a choice. She didn't fight the officers for me to stay with her. What was I to do?
"I should call my mom," Bella finally said, her voice was thick and coarse.
I gave her a small nod before I reached behind my chair to give her the telephone. Bella stared at the phone for a minute and I wondered if she was almost rethinking calling her mother. I nearly said something that I would have regret, but luckily she dialed the number finally. Her hand was still badly injured, so after reaching the receiver up to her ear, she cradled it in her neck.
I started to wonder if I should leave. Bella hadn't said anything, but she might have wanted me to know without her saying. Sometimes women did stuff like that. They implied things.
"Mom? It's Bella," she worked to make her voice sound better than it sounded—it ended up being a lost cause.
I could hear her mother speaking rather loudly on the other side of the receiver. I had to question if that was any good for Bella's hearing.
"I'm okay. I promise. I just…I have a few injuries. I'm still in the hospital."
Bella began to cry, which resulted in me rushing to the opposite side of the room for tissues. I honestly didn't know why they weren't closer. I had seen Bella cry more this morning than anytime during our relationship.
"I'm sorry. I should have been there. I didn't know what was happening. He…I was still unconscious when it happened. I should have been there," Bella sobbed.
I held onto her hand in mine. I hated the way she barely responded or noticed. It made me feel useless.
"No. I'm not alone. Ed—"
Her words cut off quickly. Her mother's voice resonated over the receiver again and she sounded angry. I felt uncomfortable.
"Well, he's here for me right now, which is more than I can say for you. His mom and sister-in-law dropped everything in Chicago, so they could be here for us right now. I don't care that he's got games. It's the beginning of the season. It wouldn't kill you to miss a game. You still have the rest of the summer and fall to watch him play. If you don't care enough about me to make it out here, you could at least make the effort when we bury Charlie. He loved you until he took his last breath."
Bella was shaking, so I stood up to hover over her. My hands worked frantically across her upper body to still the quaking. Hot tears poured down her face rapidly as her mother assumedly shared her counter-argument. Bella's eyes shifted to me once as I rubbed her skin soothingly.
I saw thankfulness and need in her eyes that helped to reassure me. Unfortunately, they were gone quickly and she replaced them to look at my empty chair.
"I don't know yet," Bella said sharply, "when I'm out of the hospital, I'll be able to make arrangements. Just be sure to make room for us in your precious schedule."
She slammed the receiver down, startling both of us. I grabbed it from her before she could do anymore damage. Her eyes followed me and I thought I saw disappointment from seeing it go. In all honesty, it probably seemed like a good way to work out her frustration.
I sat back down, because I didn't want to annoy Bella. Her shakes were nearly gone.
"I-I need to be distracted. Can I see Esme and Alice now? I feel terrible that they've been waiting outside that long. They didn't have to do this for me. You shouldn't have told them."
"I wanted them to be here. I needed them, too," I explained.
"Can you get them for me?"
I shook my head.
"We need to talk about something first."
"Edward, don't. I'm sick of talking. If I have to think about what happened last night again, I might lose it."
"That's not what I wanted to ask. When you're ready, you'll tell me about the other stuff," I said soothingly.
The expression on Bella's face was one of anger. I guessed she didn't want to tell me about what happened last night ever. We both knew it was inevitable though.
How could we move forward if I wasn't let in on this painful experience? I would never know how to deal with her when it came to that.
"I want to talk about what last night means for us," I ignored the grimace on her face. "People know about us now, Bella. They know you're his daughter. They know I spend more time than anyone waiting here. What do you want of this? When we step out of this hospital room, finally, we're going to be susceptible to people who know about Isabella Woods. I need to know if you're okay with that. If not, I need to start doing damage control."
"They'll think I'm an ungrateful bitch if they know. They'll remember the columns and only remember that I criticized Charlie's job," Bella said rather immediately.
"So you don't want them to know?" I asked just to be sure.
"No," she shook her head. "I know being his daughter will come inevitably. After the drama last night, when I get released from the hospital, the department will expect me to identify myself. The public won't be satisfied with knowing the Chief died over some stupid girl," Bella broke down at the end.
I hugged her stomach to me as she shook with sobs.
"I still can't believe he's gone," she cried.
"Shh, it's okay. Try to relax, love. Don't get too worked up," I reminded her.
We stayed like that for a long time until she fell asleep again. I untangled myself from her body, so I could steal out of her room for a bit. Alice was missing, but my mother was watching the morning shows with a hint of a smile on her face.
"Where's Alice?"
I startled my mother from her concentration.
"Sorry," I smiled apologetically.
"She's getting coffee," she explained as she patted the seat next to her.
She placed her hands on my shoulders, turning herself towards me.
"Are you okay?" my mother asked, but I could tell she already knew my answer would be no.
The worried crease between her eyebrows reminded me a lot of Bella. It made it even harder for me to answer the question honestly.
"No. She spoke to her mother. It wasn't a good conversation," I replied in little details.
"What happened?"
"Bella's mother can be difficult to understand sometimes. I know she thinks the world of her daughter and she loves her to pieces, but she's not really there for her. I'm not sure if she's just not getting it or if she's really that selfish. From the tone of their conversation, I don't think she's too fond of me either. It's understandable, I suppose. I know everyone liked Jacob," I admitted sadly.
"Who's Jacob?"
"Bella's ex-fiancé. Didn't I tell you about him?"
"I didn't know that was his name," she explained quietly.
"Yeah, well, I think her family would have liked him to be sitting in her hospital room rather than me. I'm sure they all blame me. It's only fair."
Esme shook her head, frowning at me.
"Edward, don't do this again. I thought you had moved on from blaming everything on yourself. What happened last night was a terrible thing that none of you saw coming. Unfortunately, the evil of that one man overcame the bravery of a lot of your officers. Bella being caught in the crossfire was an accident. Just do me a favor and stop. I'm sure that girl has a lot of unnecessary guilt on her shoulders right now. The least you can do is refrain from adding to it by acting like a martyr."
"But it's not her fault. Really, it is mine. I should have never—"
"You can't harp over the things you should and shouldn't have done. They happened. It's your responsibility now to brush your knees off, keep walking, and hold your head up high. Bella needs you. Getting lost in your thoughts will do nothing but bring trouble. You're brilliant and I love you, Edward, but stop thinking. Just be there for her. You have so many things to be thankful for in this situation. The first one being that Bella is alive. Focus on the positive."
I would like to say mom changed my perspective just like that, but I was pretty stubborn. I wasn't ready to accept her words yet.
Not to mention it felt like I was talking to Jasper or my therapist more than my mother. I was immature enough to admit that this irked me. He had very clearly given her instructions on the way to handle me in this situation—no doubt using the same techniques my therapist would be using in this case.
Alice came back two minutes after we stopped talking. Her smile made me feel marginally better, because it was nice to see something so genuine and hopeful in such a bleak setting. I sat and watched TV with the two of them, but I kept an eye on the nurse's station. Bella could wake up in a minute or two hours from now.
"I don't really care for Hoda and Kathie Lee," my mother frowned. "I don't understand why they have a second program. I'd much rather watch the local news again or one of those judge shows."
Alice laughed as I smirked.
"What?" she asked in shock.
"Nothing," I smiled. "I'm glad you're here."
"Lieutenant," someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around in my chair and noticed a nurse holding a chart in her hand.
"Ms. Swan is awake now. She's asked that you bring these two ladies with you."
"Thanks."
The nurse nodded and then walked away. I looked back at Alice and my mother.
"Mom? Alice?"
They grabbed their bags and followed me down the hall to Bella's room. Alice opened the door quietly before peeking her head in.
"Bella," she sighed.
My mother walked in after and I shut the door behind myself. Alice was already smiling over at Bella and rubbing her arm softly. Esme stood behind Alice, chatting quietly.
Bella looked at me quickly to reassure me she was okay.
I wasn't too thrilled by the idea of them visiting her so soon, but Bella seemed to need it. I figured she probably didn't want to have to be alone with me much longer. I tried not to take it personally, because I would get sick of me after a while, too, but it was hard. I just hoped the distraction would work.
"I'm going to make a few phone calls," I announced.
Alice silently handed over her cell phone, knowing that I needed to borrow someone's.
A last glance at Bella told me she would be okay in the presence of Alice and my mother. Her eyes were already more alert and calmer than I'd seen them in hours. I supposed it hurt me just a bit that my presence couldn't soothe her in the same manner, but I was also concerned about her enough to appreciate it the same.
Emmett answered his cell phone after only a few rings and this pleased me.
"We're checking your car out right now. It should pass inspection within the hour. I'll probably get Rosalie to drop it off at the hospital. I'm not sure how Bella's doing, but I know she wants to see her."
"I think Bella will be glad to see Rosalie," I admitted. "I suppose she could use the distraction. It's only a matter of time before the novelty of Esme and Alice wear off. I don't want her retreating within the confines of her grief. I'll do whatever it takes to prevent that."
"Listen, I spoke with Trigger today. I think you should try and get in contact with him soon. More details about what happened last night are coming about. You'll be interested in what he has to say."
I nodded curiously.
"Okay. I think I can manage to steal away for a couple of hours. I don't want to leave her, but I can't leave you guy's high-and-dry just yet. You know there's going to be an entire reworking of the case after this. It'll be nightmarish."
"Make sure that you do. Captain Oliveros keeps giving me these looks. The sooner you start talking, the sooner we can make sense of what happened last night."
"Alright. I'll probably see you later."
"Sure thing. Oh! Wait!"
"What is it Emmett?" I wondered at his rushed and panicked tone.
"I forgot to tell you that Garrett called. He was looking for you. Apparently it's got something to do with Marceau. He said it was important."
I frowned.
"Okay, thanks Emmett. I'll catch you later."
"See ya."
I disconnected the call and stared at Alice's tiny cell phone.
Garrett's number was on my mind as I debated calling him right away. I wasn't sure what he wanted and I couldn't commit to being away from Bella for an extended amount of time just yet. Two hours at headquarters would be enough to get me antsy. The idea of spending several hours at FBI headquarters was even worse. They tended to get caught up in red tape even more than we did.
"Edward Masen?"
Flinching, I turned around at the sound of my name. A vaguely familiar woman came down the hall in a wheelchair. I stared at her, trying to place the face.
Deep panic overwhelmed me. I wasn't sure if this was a girl I'd spent the night with before or not. This was truly the last thing I needed at the moment.
It startled me when she stopped her wheelchair in front of me.
"Yes," I replied cautiously.
"I'm Angela Weber."
I pulled my head back.
"Do I know you?"
She smiled ruefully.
"I was your nurse a few months back—the explosion at police headquarters. I think it was your car."
Yes. I remembered her now. I had liked her better than the other nurses.
"I remember now. I'm sorry. I'm bad at placing faces," I smiled back and shook her hand. "Are you alright? Shouldn't you be the one checking on people?"
Angela laughed quietly but turned sad again.
"It is strange to be a patient," she murmured.
It was quiet for a long moment as I stared at this woman. She reminded me of Bella in ways. If Bella was taller and more angular, I imagined she would look a lot like this girl.
"The truth is Edward I know you a lot better than just being your nurse once upon a time. My mother is Anita Cassiere and I'm Bella's informant."
I blanched.
"Excuse me?"
The officer in me immediately looked around the hall, waiting for a trap or something equally suspicious. It was empty apart from Angela and me.
"Bella was kidnapped yesterday because of a mistake on my part. There's a reason why I'm in a wheelchair right now and it has everything to do with James."
I blinked, but didn't say anything. Angela seemed to want to explain everything so I let her.
"I met Jay at my family's barbecue last month. He tried to get me to go on a date with him, but I was seeing someone at the time. I've been working as a nurse since college, but I'm also a computer/surveillance whiz. I could've made a killing working for my cousin, but I could never justify doing that line of work."
I nodded in understanding.
"I've been keeping tabs on Danny's business since high school. It started out as a cool little hobby, almost a secret rebellion against my mother, but then I went to college and started to learn more. I was a T.A. in one of Bella's courses at UW. I could tell she'd be a great investigative journalist as the semester passed. One day Bella overheard a conversation she probably shouldn't have. Long story short, we became friends. I never hung out with her, we never went for drinks or anything like that, but we kept in touch a lot. When she got her first real job, all the stakes were raised for our little connection. I started to branch out to politicians instead of just Danny.
"I've known Bella was Charlie's daughter for some time, so when she proposed the idea of doing the anonymous column for the SWJ we thought it'd be a smash. I could bring in the criminal activity and she could bring in the police aspect. Fast forward to recent months and we're back to what happened yesterday. I didn't realize this until he admitted it tonight…Jay was stalking me. Unfortunately, I lead him right to Bella, who lead him to her relationship with you. Bella had been in Chicago when Jay first started following me."
"So when she came back and you met up with her…?"
Angela nodded.
"I was on my way to meet Bella yesterday morning and warn her that Danny was planning something huge against you two. I was intercepted by Jay. He kidnapped me as well, incapacitated me, and locked me in a storage room. The janitor of the place heard me screaming through the door."
"I'm really sorry," I whispered.
She shook her head.
"It wasn't your fault. Bella and I should have been more careful. I should have never gotten so involved in undermining Danny and his business."
"No. It's your and Bella's work that helped the department make it this far in investigations. Don't be sorry for that. I'm just sorry at the price you both had to pay."
"I think Bella and I would both agree it was worth it to deliver justice. Besides if you hadn't helped as well, my mom wouldn't think to be worried about not hearing from me."
"Tell your mother thank you. Without her help, I wouldn't have been able to use Bella's text message for much."
Angela smiled and promised she would.
"Is she going to be okay?" she wondered.
"I hope so," I replied masking the tightness of my throat.
"She loves you more than you'll ever know. What I thought she had with Jacob…it's scary to think you two have something even stronger than that."
I didn't respond. I simply smiled at her.
"Ang?" I heard a male voice carry down the hall.
"I'm coming, Ben," she called back.
I looked up and saw a waifish-looking boy down the hall.
"I need to go. My boyfriend is a little worried right now," she smirked.
"Understandably," I responded.
"It was nice to meet you, Edward. I hope we see each other again under better circumstances," Angela shook my hand once more before wheeling herself back down the hall.
I stared after her long after she had gone.
Meeting her had enlightened me and astounded me at the same time. Bella's informant being a skinny brunette with no outstanding characteristics would have never crossed my mind, but I supposed that was the genius in it. I knew I really needed to see Trigger now or at the very least get down to headquarters.
My superiors had to be frantically working to piece together the new evidence and facts surrounding this case. Maybe my information from Angela would give them the necessary jumpstart.
Dialing Rosalie had been somewhat impulsive. I knew I needed to leave already and she would be my only chance at getting a set of car keys.
"I'm not dressed yet. Give me 25 minutes to get to the hospital. I'll call Emmett on the way and tell him to drop off your car here. I suppose I'll just use yours while you're gallivanting," she teased.
"Don't scratch the paint," I tossed back with a chuckle.
Bella was up and a faint smile was set on her lips as Esme talked her ear off and Alice stroked her hand. I loved that her eyes immediately met mine as I walked through the door. What I didn't like was how the smile disappeared just as faintly when she noticed me.
"I have to take care of some work things. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but Rosalie is on her way here."
My mom smiled appreciatively at me while Alice sat quietly.
"If you two need a lift to my apartment or something, Rosalie will be glad to take you. Hopefully I won't be gone long. Will you be okay, love?"
Bella nodded.
"Okay. I've got to head down and wait for Rose. I love you. I'll see you all later."
"Love you too, Edward," Alice said with an annoying smacking kiss.
I rolled my eyes, glad to see Bella smile again.
"My phone please?" Alice added before I stepped out.
I smiled at her and placed the small phone in her palm.
"Thanks," I winked.
When Rosalie arrived I gave her an uncharacteristically warm hug. Her face said it all.
"Making me laugh on the phone earlier seemed to rub off on Bella and my family. I think we all needed the tension to be lifted just a little. I'm not naïve enough to think it'll last forever, but I just want Bella to be sure there will be a day when she can really smile and laugh again."
Rosalie teared a little bit and I smiled sheepishly at her. She wasn't one to wear her emotions on her sleeves.
"Take care of her for me," I pled as I kissed her cheek and dashed out of the hospital.
Getting used to the light of the late morning was awkward. Everything had been so isolated in the hospital. I had been so alone in my jail cell that walking next to pedestrians and sitting in traffic felt strange. All the emotions, drama, tension had removed me so much from the city. It would take a while before I could feel normal.
The déjà vu of it all and the normalcy was something I found strangely unpleasant. There was so much wrong with this city and so much wrong with what was going on behind closed doors at Harborview Medical Center.
I pulled up to headquarters and decided to park elsewhere. I was being a little more cautious than necessary, but it wouldn't kill me to walk a few blocks. It's not like the car would have been any safer at headquarters.
Emmett looked haggard as I stepped into his office. I felt awful. He was probably still sore from his injury only a few hours ago and definitely not well-rested. It felt unfair to have gotten the opportunity to spend so much time with Bella while he was already back to work.
"Is Trigger here? I need to ask him some stuff."
"Ask him yourself," Emmett replied while nodding to something over my shoulder.
Trigger was equally tired-looking and his face was drawn. I didn't like the feeling I got when I looked at him. There seemed to be something haunting him, which only served to make me feel even guiltier. He closed the door behind him before sitting on Emmett's couch with a quiet sigh.
"Lieutenant, there's some stuff I gotta tell you. You won't be happy with me, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone."
I looked at him skeptically before eyeing Emmett. There was such guilt and shame in his face and it disturbed me. Trigger had been a central part in helping me solve the mystery behind Bella's whereabouts. He couldn't have anything to be ashamed of.
"Last night…when we were leaving the warehouse, I got pretty far. I had stopped a few times to get some shots in but….I saw someone trying to run away down that alley we had been checking earlier in the night. And, um, I went after them. I realized pretty quickly it was Jay. He was running after another guy, but that one was faster so he got ahead. I don't know what happened but it did happen fast. Suddenly I was just so mad at him that I could kill him," Trigger stopped for a moment to look at me with helpless eyes, "I didn't mean to do it. But I lost it and I-I shot him."
I sat down in a chair abruptly. It was like my legs had suddenly disconnected from the rest of my body and all I could do was collapse.
"He's dead?" I whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Lieutenant. I shouldn't have. He wasn't a threat. I can get arrested for it. I know. I'm sorry," Trigger broke off into sobs.
Emmett looked at him with a disconsolate expression as he sat at his desk. I wanted to try and comfort Trigger, the guilt had be terrible and reminded me of what happened to me after Vanessa died, but there was no comforting either of us could give.
"Trigger, man, I'm not mad at you. I swear," I promised despite the fact I had a sinking feeling it wouldn't mean much.
He looked up at me and it killed me to see the pain in his face.
"You can't tell anyone, Lieutenant," he begged with manic eyes.
"I promise," I answered solemnly—and I meant this, "I don't want you to feel shameful about this. I can't say that I would have acted more responsibly in your position. Trigger, you're the most honest person I've ever known. I know this was simply an accident."
I wasn't sure how safe it was to rationalize this. Technically it was very irresponsible, but I just couldn't bear Trigger going through life feeling there was something wrong with him. Or feeling as though he was this terrible person for doing something that most people would do—they just didn't admit it.
It took him several minutes to get his bearings and steady his breathing. Emmett and I sat there, waiting to see if we would have to intervene. I decided to take the spotlight off of Trigger as soon as it seemed okay to do so.
Launching in my story with Angela changed the mood, but I could still see the haunted look in Trigger's eyes. It was one thing to kill or incapacitate criminals. It was entirely another to kill someone you thought was a good friend.
"Sergeant McCarty," Emmett answered as a phone call interrupted the last bit of my story.
The exasperated look on Emmett's face was confusing at first.
"Hello Garrett," he said tiredly.
I winced.
"Why don't you tell him yourself? He's here now."
Emmett handed me the receiver and shot me a warning look. It wasn't cool that he had turned into my secretary. I didn't abuse my subordinates like that.
"Garrett?"
"Edward, where the hell have you been? I called your cell phone nearly a dozen times. Not to mention I heard you were in lock-up."
"Yeah. I'll explain it all someday. What's the real issue though?"
He sighed.
"Laurent Marceau has requested to speak to you…in person."
I crushed the receiver harder in my grasp as my lips started to curl back over my teeth.
"What?" I hissed.
"He's got interesting information, Edward. I know you're dealing with a lot of headaches right now, especially with the Chief dying, but don't rule out the option just because you think he's a sick freak."
"It's more than that," I ground out.
I tried to be reasonable with Garrett, considering he didn't know about Bella, but it was hard. Try talking to, no, correction, simply sitting down with a sick bastard who could've potentially harmed or murdered your girlfriend. Seeing how fucking reasonable or fair you'll be, Garrett.
"Don't be a fucking baby about this, Edward. Talk to Harper and see if he can let you go for at least an hour. I've already cleared it with my superiors. Call me when you decide to grow up."
He hung up rudely as I rolled my eyes. Emmett took the receiver from my hand before I cracked the plastic.
"What the hell is your problem?" he asked accusingly as he stared at his abused phone.
"Fucking Laurent Marceau wants to speak to me that's the fucking problem."
He was smart enough not to respond to that.
I sighed and ran an angry hand through my hair. It was easy to ignore the strands I had caught in my foolishness.
"Are you gonna do it?" Emmett asked hesitantly, but I was already interrupting him loudly.
"I don't know! What's the use in talking to him? It'll only make me angry. If there was something I needed to know, surely it would be released eventually."
I had stood up during my rant and started to pace Emmett's small office. Trigger had his head on his knees and was staring down at the floor. Emmett just ignored me and tried not to take my hostility too seriously. Getting worked up was easy and I was trying to calm myself down.
"I think you should," Emmett said quietly.
"I don't know if I can…I don't know if I can handle it," I confessed as my voice broke.
"Do it. Do it for, Bella. Do it for, Charlie. We need answers and I'm afraid you're the only who'll get them. He needs to stay behind bars for the rest of his miserable life."
Already knowing all this was true, I nodded. Steeling myself for what was ahead was a difficult thing to start doing. I took a deep breath.
"You should stop by the hospital when you get a chance. Bella needs to smile more," I told him.
Emmett nodded understandingly. I turned around to face Trigger, more grateful to him than he would ever know.
"When she's feeling a little better, I know she'll want to meet you, too."
He seemed taken aback by my declaration. I let it hang in the air without another word as I stole out of Emmett's office and made my way back to Rosalie's car.
The drive to FBI headquarters wasn't too long but passed in the blink of an eye. Before I wanted to be there, I was getting checked out and scrutinized by FBI agents. I wished that I had thought to call Garrett down. I knew the extra pat downs were simply because they knew I was an officer. Feeling so helpless was an uneasy sentiment.
Garrett had something of a knowing look on his face as I walked down his hall. Stefan was nowhere to be seen and this disappointed me.
"I had a feeling you would show. I'm glad you did. I think it's important to do this," he said in a professional tone.
It was devoid of emotion yet not entirely rude or callous.
"Follow me. He's in interrogation room two," Garrett instructed.
Quietly, I followed him to the interrogation room. I didn't feel the need to speak. Garrett didn't feel the need either it seemed. He stopped abruptly and unfortunately I didn't notice it, so I bumped it him. I mumbled my apology as he gave me a strange look.
"You okay, Edward?"
"Just a little distracted," I admitted.
He nodded.
"Stefan disappeared to get some papers, but him and me and some other officers will be right behind the door if you need us. I know you don't care for him and that you're stressed, but just take it easy."
I didn't get to respond as he entered a code and opened the door. He ushered me forward and I stepped into the brightly lit room.
Laurent Marceau looked sickeningly pale as he sat with a bored expression. The table before him was made of pure steel and looked dangerous—almost exactly a replica of the way he looked.
A violent thought of banging his head into the table overcame me. Fortunately, I was able to push it away. I sat despite my desire not to.
Laurent cocked his head slightly, studying me with his steely gray eyes. I was defensive and my eyes instinctively tightened. I wasn't sure what he was looking for and that annoyed me deeply.
"Just get to the fucking point. I don't have time for your cryptic bullshit," I spat.
An amused half-smile slid slyly and lethally onto his face.
"You've always been a colorful character, Lieutenant."
I clenched my fists, willing myself to calm down and resist the urge to rip his head from his body. When he saw I wouldn't play into his weird statement, he sighed and seemed to get focused.
"I've been hoping to speak to you. I didn't think you would agree so quickly. This is promising," he smiled yet again.
"Why's that?" I asked noncommittally.
"I wish to explain my involvement of course. It would not please you to know this, but I am highly disappointed that my past indiscretions kept me from the fireworks of last night. I would trade all the other women to have gotten the chance to know your Isabella."
Fire pulsed through my veins with lightening speed and fury. If I bit my tongue any harder I was sure to bleed.
"From what I understand she is quite the beauty. Not to mention her reputation seems to precede her. James Valence was all too eager to divulge to Daniel about her fiery personality. No doubt a trait I'm sure you find attractive."
I didn't know the reason why, and I guessed I never would, but for a second my eyes drifted from his. This momentary distraction reminded me of the fact I was in FBI headquarters, no doubt being recorded by their tapes, as Laurent Marceau spoke about my relationship with Bella. I needed this conversation to stop immediately.
I stood up and the chair I had been sitting in protested against the hard tiled floor. Laurent looked irritated and disappointed.
"You can't leave now. I've barely even started. Don't you want to know all about Daniel's sinister plan?"
I started to push the chair back and make my exit.
"Don't you want to know about how I was poised to rape and murder your girlfriend just like I did those other women?"
I froze, halfway out the door.
What he had said wasn't really news. It was the way he had said it. So Goddamn matter-of-factly. So fucking careless and casual. As if he was telling me he'd fucking left his grocery list at home.
I turned on my heel immediately.
It was completely blank after that. Nothing I did was conscious. It was all instinctual and pure adrenaline. It was only after several agents pulled me away and seeing my handprints around his neck that I realized the extent of my anger.
I backed into a wall and blinked several times. Killing a man was never a pleasant thing, but I had done it before out of necessity. Nearly killing Laurent Marceau…it disturbed me how little guilt I felt about that.
Garrett stared at me. His lips formed together to speak words but nothing came out. Stefan was in complete shock as well. I was waiting for it. I was waiting for the moment they'd ask about her.
"Edward," Garrett finally managed, but it was all he could do.
"I…can't right now," I looked up at him.
I felt helpless and out of control and afraid of myself and overwhelmed. Leaving FBI headquarters seemed to be the only logical thing to do at the moment. I expected Stefan or Garrett to come to stop me. It was somewhat pleasant when they didn't. There was a greater sense of peace without them following me.
The walk to Rosalie's car was short.
I didn't get in right away. I leaned my head on the roof above her driver's side door and breathed slowly in and out
Killing him, or nearly doing so, wasn't where my conflict lay. It was how easy it had been and how naturally the rage came. I prided myself on being relatively levelheaded and rational. Naturally, the thought of being so out of control and easy to anger freaked the crap out of me. What if something like this happened again and someone wasn't there to stop me? It was a silly joke to think my stress would slowly ebb after all that had happened last night. What if one day it just got to be too much? I couldn't risk that.
"Sir? Are you okay?"
I looked up to see a small elderly woman staring at me worriedly. I blinked at her.
"Yes. Thank you," I responded.
I opened Rosalie's car door and slid into her seat. Pulling the door closed, starting the car, and driving off were vague memories. I had that auto-pilot feeling again. It took a few minutes of standing outside Bella's hospital room door for me to actually enter.
As I stood there I warred with the emotions I was feeling. There was so much conflict and confusion. I wanted to get a hold of myself before my mood rubbed off on Bella. I was sure she had made improvements today by being surrounded by my mom and the girls. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin things—singlehandedly.
"Edward, you're back!" my mother grinned happily.
She was eating a cup of chocolate pudding that she had definitely gotten from the cafeteria downstairs. An empty tray of food was on a table next to Bella's bed. I hoped it was empty because she had eaten and not because she had proffered her things to the women sitting around her.
The hint of color in her face and her overall improvement from this morning made me hopeful—she looked more like the Bella I knew—but I wasn't entirely convinced just yet. Her eyes stayed on mine as I kissed the girls hello and hugged my mom.
"Can you guys give us a few minutes?" I asked.
Rosalie jumped immediately and started to grab her things.
"It'll only be a few minutes," I explained as Alice and my mother made their way to the door.
Rose winked at me and smiled at Bella as she disappeared, closing the door behind her. Turning toward Bella, I could see the apprehension and curiosity in her face.
This was definitely more of the Bella I knew.
"Is everything okay?" she asked quietly—hesitantly.
I grabbed her small hand and ran my fingers across her skin and bandages. I wished my hand was warmer, but I wasn't about to break this contact, especially with the way she squeezed her fingers around my own. It was reassuring and I needed her confidence in me right now. I sighed, debating where to start. I figured Angela's conversation with me was as good of a place as any.
"I spoke to Angela Weber this morning," I began.
The recognition in Bella's eyes was unmistakable.
"Are you mad at me?"
Shaking my head, I gave her an honest "no."
"I'm mad at myself. She's not well off. She's in a wheelchair for some reason and I feel guilty. I did a lot of thinking last night and I realized part of why this all happened last night is because I pushed too hard. I was too focused on nailing Danny that I lost sight of what was important. My obsession was just as bad as his."
Bella was giving me a stern look, which was enough to tell me she was angry.
"Don't you dare try and presume to know how sick he was. Don't you dare try and compare yourself to him. I was there Edward. I lived through it. Your concern for bringing him to justice was nothing like his cruelty."
The tone of her voice surprised me. She had only been getting her voice back this morning. It startled me the way she managed to keep it firm and demanding. The conviction behind it was also unmistakable.
We hadn't discussed what had happened last night just yet. Her speaking about it so directly was a bit unnerving and also a wake-up-call.
"I'm sorry," I apologized to her quietly and shamefully.
"You should be. I need you right now, damnit. It already feels like I'm going to fall apart, Edward. I can't handle you falling apart, too."
Tears filled her large brown eyes. I squeezed her hand again and kissed her nose, pressing my forehead against hers.
"I'm sorry," I repeated.
We were quiet as she simply cried silently. She shook every once in a while, but she was otherwise quiet. An interrupter would have suspected I was kissing her from the way we stood close and didn't move. I closed my eyes and pulled back, sitting down in a seat next to her.
"I have to start making funeral arrangements," Bella said.
I opened my eyes and studied her face. She was staring at her tray of food. I could see the disbelief in her eyes. The spoken words were harder to accept than when they were thought.
"Rosalie offered to help. We got to spend a few minutes alone while Alice and Esme went downstairs for lunch. She thinks I should just come clean about the Isabella Woods thing. I think she had some good points."
"And what were those?" I prodded gently, hoping to continue her talking.
"I never cared what people thought of me when writing those articles. Why should I care what people think after they realize I was his daughter? Either way they would find some way to dramatize this situation."
I nodded, understanding Rosalie's point, but not quite seeing it in such simple terms.
"Is that what you want? Are you okay with people knowing?"
"I think…a small statement should be made at the very least. If I could strip people of their privacy in public settings, it's only fair I be held to the same standard. I don't want a big press conference, but I think people have a right to know that officers died because of me. They were trying to save me. And I know some people will criticize my father, despite his passing, and say he was ruled by irrationality and passion and that's why so many died, but I'm okay with that. I know it comes with the territory."
"I didn't expect you to be so calm and decisive about this all so soon," I admitted to her, "You were on a very different side of the fence this morning."
I was okay with her knowing how scared I was of this newfound collectedness. Someone with as much trauma behind them as her shouldn't be this rational. She was putting me to shame.
But I was also a little surprised at how our conversation had turned out. My intention had been to come in and discuss some of what had happened this morning. To a certain extent, she was getting me off track.
"I had a long time to think," she replied somewhat carefree.
"This isn't a front for your grief, Bella. You're deluded if you think this will distract me," I warned her.
"It's not about distracting you. It's about accepting what happened last night and moving on."
"You can be upset. No one expects you to be so ready to move past what happened. It was less than 24 hours ago," I said with a hint of anger.
"I'm not avoiding it if that's what you're suggesting. I'm just trying not to get caught up in it. Besides I think we both know I'm not one for extended amounts of crying and sympathy."
I raised a non-believing eyebrow at her.
"Oh really? So those months of depression you went through over Jacob didn't happen? What about this morning?"
"First of all, it wasn't just Jacob. Secondly, it was different circumstances. It didn't kill me. It made me stronger. Why do you think I can keep myself together right now?"
Defensiveness was easy to detect. In was saturating her voice and I was a pro at it. If there was anyone she couldn't fool with that attitude, it was me. I could see past her bullshit and notice the little things, like how she had completely glossed over my last question.
"Okay, Bella," I relented, "We'll do this your way. I'll contact Teri and explain what I need."
Bella didn't respond. A knock on the door came at just the right time for her.
"Come in," Bella called out.
Emmett popped his head in the door. His lips spread into the widest grin I'd seen on him since before last night.
"The hospital look suits you, Iz," he teased.
She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.
"I'm so glad you're okay," Emmett breathed as I made room so he could hug her properly, "I'm really sorry about the Chief."
"Thanks Emmett."
"Is that a chocolate pudding cup?" he asked, completely deflecting the tension in a very Emmett-ish way.
Bella smiled, knowing where this conversation was headed.
"I saved it just for you," she said with mock seriousness.
"What a true friend," he chuckled, "Unlike that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours. Asshole nearly broke my phone today."
I winced at his dig. Bella was sure to ask (and probably get an honest answer) as to why I almost broke his phone. Talking about Laurent was something I never wanted to do.
"He and I are going to have a chat about that later though," he winked at me but I knew he was serious.
Garrett had probably called him out of worry for me.
"When are you getting discharged?" Emmett asked like a little boy as he ate his pudding cup.
"Within the next few days Dr. Gerandy says. I'll have to come back though and have some of the stitches removed."
Emmett nodded. Then, as if a light bulb went off in his head, his eyes widened and he put the pudding cup down.
"I forgot to tell you! I had surgery yesterday!"
I smacked my forehead with my palm. I knew he was aiming for laughs but this was really not the way to go about it. Bella was sure to feel at fault when she knew he had gotten shot while running her out of the building.
"I got shot in the arm. The pain was terrible, but the aftermath was awesome," he laughed.
In a surprise move, Bella smiled and rubbed his bicep.
"Rosalie told me."
I sighed. Her response was better than I was hoping for. Another knock resounded before the women all came back in.
"Jasper and Carlisle are on their way!" Alice announced happily.
The look of guilt on Bella's face gave her away.
I apologize if this is plagued by errors. I didn't have much time to proofread this and I wanted it to finally get published.
So what have I missed...how many times did you see New Moon? What did you think of the premiere? Have you see the Jimmy Fallon episode with Taylor Lautner?
Fic Recommendations: The Caged Bird by Kristen Nicole; Facebook Friends by GreenPuma
Two chapters left and an epilogue ladies...