DPOV

As I walked across Court – my pace brisk – I knew I would end up arriving for the interview early. But I just couldn't sit in that room for any longer. My legs ached and I just had to get up and go. All too soon, the Guardian Offices loomed closer and closer, until I was standing right outside of them. Before I opened the door, I reached into the pocket of my duster, grabbing my cell and checking that it was on silent. I didn't expect anyone to call me, but I didn't want to look unprofessional if my cell suddenly started to ring whilst I was talking to Hans Croft.

The only person to phone me was Rose, and I knew she did that reluctantly. I highly doubted that she would phone me today. We had spoken quickly the previous day and we weren't scheduled to talk again until later on in the week. It upset me that I had basically bullied her into keeping in contact with me. Every conversation we had was painstakingly awkward, and I knew that it was my entire fault. I had made a mistake and I had broken her. But she was recovering, even if it was a slow process, and I couldn't afford to do any more damage to her. I wouldn't let my feelings get in the way again. I just wouldn't put her through all the pain again.

Sighing, I pushed open the door, ignoring the curious and cautious glances I was receiving from the guardians milling about the room. I stared ahead, my guardian face firmly in place as I headed towards the reception desk. "Hello," I said politely as the sectary – a young dhampir girl – glanced up at me. "I have an appointment with Hans Croft at 10 o'clock. My name is – "

"I know who you are," the girl said, her tone curt as she glared at me accusingly. "You're early. Guardian Croft isn't ready to see you yet. If you'd like to take a seat, I'll call you over when it's actually time for your meeting."

I nodded and walked over to the waiting area, making sure to sit down on a seat furthest away from where the other dhampirs sat down. I was well aware that my presence made them all feel uncomfortable. On more than one occasion, people had actually gotten up and moved away from me. I couldn't really blame them though. The things I had done when I had been turned were horrible. I had been a monster. In many ways, I still was a monster, especially after everything I had put Rose through. Not only had I hurt her physically, I had hurt her emotionally. I had hurt her before I had been turned, when I had been turned and after I had been turned.

Swallowing hard, I fought the nausea that crept up my throat. Although my dreadful deeds haunted my every moment, I couldn't let them get in the way of the one chance I had to make things right. Today was the day that I was going to talk to Hans Croft about being reinstated as a Guardian. I knew that it was a long shot, and even if it did happen, I would never have any guarding duties again, but it meant that I could be of more assistance to Rose.

It wasn't fair that she had to single handedly deal with Tasha. I wished that I had succeeded in convincing her to go to the other guardians about it, but deep down I knew she had been right. They wouldn't have believed us. No matter how much people distrusted Natasha Ozera, they distrusted us more. But that didn't mean it was right that Rose had to handle the situation on her own.

I knew Tasha. I knew that she was unstable and almost capable of anything. I had to help Rose in any way I could. Yes, she was the most talented, most amazing, most strongest person I knew, but after everything she had been through – after everything I had put her through – I wasn't sure how much more she could take.

My deep thoughts kept me occupied, because the next thing I knew I was being called up. "Mr Belikov," the secretary said, practically spitting out my name in distaste, "Guardian Croft is ready to see you now. He'll be in his office, in Room 6." I nodded, thanking her for her helpfulness, but she just glanced down at her computer screen, ignoring me. Without another word, I walked down the corridor, glancing at the numbers on each and every door, before coming to a stop outside number six.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and gently knocked on the door, waiting patiently for a response. A few moments passed until I heard Hans Croft say, "Come in."

Obediently, I pushed the door open. "Good Morning, sir," I greeted him as I walked into the room, trying to wipe my mind from thoughts of Rose. I had to become focussed. I had to be professional.

Did I deserve this opportunity? No, I most definitely didn't. But it was because of Rose that Hans had approached me, and I wasn't going to throw her gift back in her face. I knew it had been unintentional and I knew she probably didn't care what happened to me, but I that didn't mean I shouldn't be grateful.

In fact, I should be grovelling at her feet, begging for her forgiveness. And I would have, if I thought she would want to see me. But she didn't. She didn't want anything to do with me. She was only allowing me to help with Tasha because she had no one else. If anyone else found out about what Tasha was up to, I knew Rose would distance herself from me. She didn't want anything to do with me. She probably hated me, and she had every right to loath the sight of me. I deserved her hatred. I deserved to suffer all the pain I had put her through.

"Please, sit down," Guardian Croft said, gesturing to a seat opposite his desk. I moved across the room and sat down, waiting patiently for him to begin. "We both know why your here, so let's cut to the chase. Mr Belikov, I have to warn you that even if you are reinstated as a guardian, you will probably never have a charge again. Do you understand?"

Even though I had figured this out for myself, his words still stung me. After all, my entire life had been devoted to being a guardian; it was what I knew best. Once upon a time, it was what I was good at. And apart from the few tragedies that had occurred, it was something I had actually enjoyed doing. Since returning to Court, my days had been filled with a void space. I didn't know what to do with my time. Of course, I watched over Princess Vasilisa, but that was unofficial. I missed guarding and teaching...and I missed spending quality time with Rose. Sighing, I rubbed my hand against my chin. "I understand."

"It is because of this, that if you are reinstated as a guardian, you will have to apply for an office job: either here or at one of our embassies across the world. Duties will include manning a desk, filing and general organisation," Guardian Croft informed me.

I nodded mutely. As I comprehended his words, my heart sank a little. Of course, he had said what I had expected him to say, but it still pained me. I still felt empty. I no longer had a purpose. I had no goal. I no longer had anything to strive towards. No one trusted me. I couldn't blame them. I had been a monster. I had done some awful things. I deserved those sickened glances people shot my way when they thought I wasn't looking. I deserved all the snide remarks that filtered through the crowds towards me. I deserved it all. "I understand."

"I have to admit, it's a shame. You were one of the best," Guardian Croft smiled sadly at me, but his face quickly dropped as he realised he had spoken out of term. He coughed and cleared his throat. "That said, it doesn't change things. You're a risk. Who knows what the side effects of...well, you know. I don't want you to endanger anybody. I won't let you endanger anybody. If I have any suspicion to think that you're a danger, I will make sure decisive action is taken out on you," he told me, his voice a deadly whisper as he glared down at me.

"I understand," I repeated, grasping the true meaning of his words. If I seemed like any sort of threat, he would have me killed. Could I blame him? No. In some way, his words were a reassurance to me. I had already caused so much damage – so much pain and bloodshed – that I didn't want to cause any more.

It was at that point that my phone began to buzz in my pocket. Guardian Croft didn't seem to notice; he began talking about what stages I would have to go through before I was reinstated. Although I tried to listen to him – although I tried to focus on his words – all I could really think about was my phone. Who was calling? What did they want? Was it Rose? Was she in danger?

All I wanted to do was reach into my pocket and answer the damn thing, but I couldn't. Instead I had to sit patiently, waiting for Hans to stop blathering on about our next meeting. He would have to evaluate me on more than one occasion, to make sure that I was in the right mindset and to make sure that there wasn't some sort of evil lurking in me. In response, I umm-ed and ahh-ed. I tried to sound interested. I tried to sound like I actually cared. But I didn't. All I cared about was the fact that I had ignored the phone call. Even worse, I had ignored Rose, because I was pretty sure she had been the one to phone. She was the only one to phone and I had simply ignored her.

Guilt started to spread. It had to have been something important. She wouldn't just phone me without a reason. After all the grief I had put her through, trying to convince her to keep in contact with me, I was nothing but a hypocrite for not picking up the phone.

The next half an hour slowly ticked by. Guardian Croft must have been in a chatty mood, because he didn't seem to want to let me go. Eventually though, he stood up. He moved his hand forward, as if to shake mine, but with a second thought, he drew back, before placing his hand in his pocket. "Right then, Mr Belikov, I will schedule another meeting in the next few days."

I nodded, and with a quick 'thank you', I rushed out of the door. Under any other circumstance I would have fretted over my quick exit, but I just didn't care. All I cared about was the phone call. All I cared about was Rose. She was my only priority. I strode out of the building, my hand already tightly grasping my phone.

As soon as I was outside, I looked down at my phone. One missed call from: Rose. My heart dropped heavily as I dialled my voicemail. Did she think I had ignored her on purpose? I hoped not. I hoped that she thought better of me, but deep down I knew she despised me. She had told me that herself at Princess Vasilisa's engagement party. And although she had no memory of it, I knew she meant it. She had every right to loathe me.

My chest tightened as I listened to her message...as I listened to her tears fall freely as she admitted that she needed help. She needed my help. "I think...I really need you, Comrade," she had said in her message. I felt sick. Yet again, I had let her down. She had needed me and I hadn't been there. My heart beat furiously as I practically ran back to my room. I had to get to her. I had to see her. I had to be with her.

And she had called me Comrade. My heat began to flutter as I heard the all too familiar nickname. When she had first started calling me it, all those months ago back at the Academy, I didn't particularly like it. But since everything that had happened - since the awful distance had been created between us - I had dreamt about her calling me it. I knew this wasn't the time to overthink the situation, but she had called me Comrade and that had to mean something. It had to mean that things between us was improving. Only, I had managed to blow it all by not picking up. I was an awful, despicable person.

As soon as I got to my room, I got to work. With rushed movements, I threw an assortment of my belongings into a bag, before dialling Rose's number. I had to speak to her. I had to hear her voice and make sure she was okay. Only, her phone was engaged. I dialled again and again, but I just couldn't get through. I swore out loud, throwing the phone against the wall in frustration, watching it shatter into a multitude of pieces.

Again I swore. I had just destroyed the only way I could get in touch with Rose. Unable to stop myself, I curled my hand into a fist and punched the wall repeatedly. The pain didn't really bother me. All I was focused on was the fact that Rose needed me and I hadn't been there.

I grabbed my bag before heading out, walking straight past the Guardian Building towards the car park. I didn't even glance at the building. I knew by leaving Court I would be destroying any chance of ever becoming a guardian again, but I didn't care. Being a guardian wasn't my future anymore. It had only just dawned on me, but I quickly realised that it was the truth. I wasn't supposed to be a guardian. Instead, my future was comprised of trying to make things up with Rose. I didn't deserve her forgiveness after everything I had done to her; after everything I had put her through. But that didn't mean I shouldn't try and make things right between us. I hadn't been lying when I told her I cared about her, after I had helped her fight the strigoi. I stilled cared for her. I still loved her. She was my future and nothing else mattered anymore.

AN: So this took a little longer to write than expected, mainly because I suck at writing from Dimitri's perspective. I'm not too convinced that I've managed to capture his character here, but it'll have to do because I wanted to try and give you guys an insight as to what was going on in his head, especially after he received the message from Rose. Hopefully y'all enjoyed it.

In other news, I have devised a plan. A plan? you say. Yes, a plan. Here's the thing that you may or may not know about me. I'm very feckle. And I get bored easily. And I'm very restless. Which means that I cannot concentrate on one thing at once. I read about four different books on the go. I have about seven websites open on my browser. I have three fanfics that are no where near being finished, but I have to write all at them at random times. So, here's my plan. In a month I will start updating on a weekly basis. One week I will update Pillars of Sand, the next Anchors in the Sky and the week after Sticks and Stones. That way I shouldn't end up getting distracted by my other stories.

Thanks for reading (and reviewing!)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VA!