A/N: Another "wow" moment; I can't believe I'm publishing part I of the epilogue already! Time flies. Also, you should know that this document on Microsoft Word is 29 pages. Yes, 29. That's longer than the length limit for my senior thesis paper. Good grief. Hope you like! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Epilogue I
Lauren's POV
June 2012, five years later
I let out a sigh, standing on the front porch of my parents' house, looking out at the vast expanse of property my father bought out on Bainbridge Island. Just across the bay from Seattle, it's quiet but civilized; perfect for a family. It's a pleasant June day, the sun coming out just long enough to remind people that summertime is almost here. From the back lawn, Max the golden retriever comes running towards me, tennis ball in his mouth.
"Heyy buddy," I scratch behind his ears as he drops the slobbered ball at my feet. "You know no matter how many times I throw this thing it's just gonna be the same thing over and over again, right?" I smirk at him.
A "necessary addition to the family," Dad got Max just before I left for my freshman year at Stanford claiming he would need the extra company, and that he was surrounded by too many women in his household. I remember that last quip earned him a swat on the arm from Mom. I throw the ball for Max as far as I can get it, knowing it'll take him a while to find it, and wander back inside the house.
I love coming here; it always smells slightly of vanilla, pine trees, and home. Having been accepted to start medical school at the University of Washington this fall, I decided to come back to Seattle after graduation to spend some time with friends and family and relax, before the summer season fully kicks in and I get...busy. I had been accepted to other schools as well – UCLA, Johns Hopkins, and Columbia, Mom and Dad's alma mater – but as soon as UW accepted me, I knew wanted to be closer. I wanted to have my family.
I still think about Rinny sometimes, and I know Mom and Dad do too. It's been over sixteen years since her death, but sometimes I swear I can still feel her with me. She's the little voice in my head, encouraging, laughing, and loving. Some days I wonder what she would be doing right now were she still alive; where would she have gone to college? Would she go to med. school like me? Would she be happy with her life? I like to think wherever she was, she would be happy, always my little ray of sunshine.
I wander upstairs to my bedroom and start unpacking yet another box that was just shipped in yesterday from my old apartment in Palo Alto. It has all of my old soccer stuff - jerseys, shoes, shin guards, and other things. I smile as I pick up a picture of my teammate Monica and I, taken last fall on senior night, our last home match of the season before play-offs. We both trained together back in summer of 2007 and graduated this year, her with a degree in Sociology and a plan to backpack across Europe for the next three months. There's another one behind it of my best friend from New York Hannah and me; our first practice as freshmen. She had come to Stanford for soccer as well, and we had lived together all four years. I remember we were both so tired from that practice, unused to the world that was collegiate athletics. Those were the days.
"Laurie." A small voice breaks me from my reverie.
"Oh hey, Munchkin. Wanna help your favorite big sister unpack before Mom and Dad get home?" I smile up at Josie, adorable in her pink and green-flowered summer dress, before noticing the stricken look on her face. "What's the matter?"
Josie looks like a mixture of guilt, curiosity, and finally, sadness. "I was in your room earlier when you were out with Max," she confesses, biting her lower lip just as I used to do at her age. It's like she thinks I'm going to yell at her when really I know this little girl's never had a bad intention in her life.
If there's one thing I've noticed about Josie since moving back home, it's that she has more of Mom and me in her than we initially thought. From the natural auburn highlights to the way she can raise one eyebrow without even trying, she's definitely another of Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd's daughters.
"Okay…"
"I wanted to help you unpack so I opened one of the boxes but…I found this on top," she says, showing me an old-looking picture she had hidden behind her back. I take in a deep breath; the picture is dated 1995, almost 20 years ago, and is of Mom, Dad, Rinny, and me at our parents' old house in the Hamptons they sold just after Josie was born.
"Who's that girl, Laurie? The one with red hair has-ta be you, and then Mommy and Daddy, but I don't know that other girl…she looks like me," Josie adds, musing.
I'm both surprised and not that neither of our parents have managed to tell Josie the story of her older sister at an age where she can actually comprehend that it's her older sister. I'm surprised because Josie has a right to know, but I'm not because I know how hard Rin's death was on our parents, and Mom revisited it all when she was pregnant with Josie. Never mind that Josie turned out being a little mini-me of Rinny; really, she'd pass as her twin better than I would.
I also think that we all just see so much of Rinny in Josie that it never even crossed any of our minds that the two of them had never officially met.
"I know she looks like you Munchkin, because that's Katherine. Rinny's my twin sister, and she's your sister too."
Josie looks at me with wide, surprised eyes. "We have another sister? How come I've never met her?"
"Come here," I smile, holding my arms out for my little sister. Sitting down at the window seat in my bedroom, I settle her onto my lap.
"Has Mommy said anything to you about Rinny before, Jose?" I ask her.
"Uh uh," she shakes her head. "I think I've heard the name before though…sounds familiar."
"Yeah you've probably heard it before," I nod.
"So where is Rinny now, Laurie?" Josie asks, curling into a little ball on my lap.
I feel a slight pang in my chest, talking about Rinny's death again, but Josie has a right to know. She has just as much a right as I do. But I don't answer her question right away.
"You know, you remind me a lot of her. You both look a lot like Daddy, you both love tea parties and have Mommy and Daddy wrapped around your little fingers," I say, tickling Josie's sides. She giggles.
"She was my best friend when we were little; we did everything together, and I mean everything. We didn't even like all of the same things, but we still did it. We both loved hide and seek, and we played that 'til we were blue in the face. But then she would go swimming with me during summer vacations to the lake, and sometimes she would try to play soccer with Dad and me. Believe me when I tell you that little miss Rinny hated soccer, everything about it.
I would do things with her too; the only time I ever wore a dress was when Rin had one of her little tea parties."
"Were her tea parties as fun as mine, Laurie?" Josie asks quietly, looking up at me.
"I think I'm a little more open-minded about them now," I chuckle. "And I like that you don't make me wear a dress. But you're both fun sisters." I give Josie an Eskimo kiss – her absolute favorite.
"Anyway, I also took a ballet class with Rinny. Ballet was her passion; she loved everything about it, and she was really good too. Remember how much you hated wearing the tutu last Christmas pageant?"
"Yeah!" Josie remembers, crinkling her nose in disgust. That's the only huge difference between her and Rinny – Josie hates ballet just as much as I did. But I think for Mom and Dad's sake that could be a good thing. Leave ballet special to Rin.
"Well just imagine how much you hated it, and that's how much she loved it," I joke, crinkling my nose too.
"Oh wow," Josie says. "That's a lotta love."
"It sure is," I nod, taking another deep breath. "But as much as Rinny loved ballet, there was something that happened one day after rehearsal that made me never want to have anything to do with it ever again."
"What happened, Laurie?" Josie asks me slowly. A part of me feels like even with her little five year old brain she already knows the answer.
"Well, it was a Tuesday in April of 1996…way before you were born," I add. "Rin and I were six years old-"
"That's almost as little as me!" Josie interrupts.
"I know it is, sweetheart," I continue, already trying not to let my voice break. "We were walking home from a ballet class and we were holding hands crossing the street – remember like Mommy tells you to do – when all of the sudden this car comes out of nowhere. The guy driving it shouldn't have been driving." I feel myself tear up. "Josie, you know how sometimes when Mommy's had a long day at work she'll drink a glass of wine, or Daddy will drink a beer on the weekends?"
"Yeah," my sister nods.
"Those are all grown-up drinks that you can only have if you're a certain age; like here in the US it's 21. But even when you're old enough you still have to be very, very careful not to drink too much because it's not good for you. And you can never ever drive while drinking grown-up drinks, okay, no matter what anyone else says. You understand me?"
"Yeah I understand." Josie nods, waiting to hear more about her sister.
I sniff, and before I know it I'm crying.
"Laurie?" Josie turns around in my arms, looking scared. I didn't want to cry in front of her but I can't help it now. It hurts just imagining how Josie's going to react to hearing her magical long-lost sister is dead, in real words anyway. "Please don't cry. You don't hafta tell me."
She places two little hands on my cheeks and I kiss her forehead. "Yes I do have to tell you, Munchkin. The guy driving the car had too many grown-up drinks and was completely out of control. He hit Rinny and me, and…Rinny died that day, Josie."
Just as I thought, my baby sister starts to cry. I hold her close, stroking her dark hair.
"She…she's dead?" Josie cries. "I never even got to meet her!"
"I know, I know, sweetheart," I whisper.
"I'm never gonna drink grown-up drinks for as long as I live. Not ever ever."
"Oh, you look so much like her, Jose," I say, rocking us back and forth slowly. "She would have loved you so much. You know, when I was little I used to ask Mom and Dad for a little brother almost every day, but Rin wanted a little sister. Rin wanted you."
"Me?" Josie chokes.
"Yes you," I smile, wiping her tears with my thumb. "You wanna know the good thing about all this though?"
"Yeah," Josie nods.
"The good thing is that you, and me, and Mommy, and Daddy, and our whole family – even Max – all have a little guardian angel."
"You really think Rinny's an angel?"
"I really do," I nod. "I can feel her with me sometimes, like when I'm scared or feeling alone. She'll be there for you too when you're scared, or feeling alone, or like you need a friend." I kiss Josie's forehead again. "Rin won't let anything bad happen to you."
"I love you, Laurie," Josie says after a moment, wrapping her little arms around my neck.
"I love you too, Munchkin…even if you do go through my room without my permission." I tickle her sides and she laughs.
Suddenly I hear someone sniff from the doorway. I turn and see Mom and Dad both standing there, Mom with tears running down her cheeks.
"Jose I think we have an audience," I whisper to my sister, whose face is now hidden in my neck. She looks up and runs into Dad's arms.
"Daddy!" She cries.
"How long have you guys been standing there?" I ask, getting up from the window seat.
"Long enough," Mom smiles, wiping her eyes and pulling me into a hug.
"We thought we would leave this one to you," Dad finishes, rubbing Josie's back.
"I found a picture of her, Daddy, and Laurie told me that Rinny's…dead…" Josie hiccups.
"She was right though, baby girl," Mom tells her. "Rin's your guardian angel."
"I know," Josie nods. "You must have been so sad, Mommy." She reaches her little hand out to touch Mom's face. "She was your baby."
"She still is my baby, little one," Mom answers, kissing Josie's palm. "And Daddy's, just like you and Laurie. Nothing will ever change that. I still get sad sometimes, but not all the time. It's okay now." Mom lets out a long sigh.
"You're like Rin's clone if I ever did see one though," Dad laughs at Josie.
"Seriously, she'd pass more for her twin than I would," I agree, just as Max comes barreling toward us, apparently just noticing my parents are home. Mom always says Dad and that dog have a special bond.
"Probably because even if you have six more kids, that dog is the closest thing Dad will ever get to a son," I would joke.
Dad would roll his eyes. "Hey, all my girls are a blessing, not a curse."
"I bet you tell yourself that every night before bed, don't you Daddy?"
He had no response to that.
"So how was work today?" I ask as the four of us make our way downstairs, Dad with Josie in arms. "All I hear about lately is med. school life thanks to my exhausted fiancé. What goes on in the real world?" I smile thinking of Charlie, who's just about to enter his fourth year of medical school at Washington, and examine the diamond ring that, as of three months ago (spring break of my senior year), replaced the turquoise one I had worn for five years.
"Oh you know, same old same old," Mom says.
"Come on, nothing is ever 'same old same old' at Seattle Grace/Mercy West, Mom," I pry. "Really? Nothing good?"
"Well, remember those interns you became such great friends with that summer? They're all waiting on their board exam scores…" Mom tells me.
"No kidding, Izzie mentioned Alex got an offer for a fellowship at Hopkins. Hopkins. I'm super jealous."
"Ha, if you'd have told me six years ago that Alex Karev would have any promise as a Peds. surgeon I'd have declared you insane," Mom says. In the background I see Dad put Josie down and ask her what she wants for dinner – she shouts "bisketti!" "But seriously, that's the talk of the hospital right now, as pathetic as that sounds," Mom continues. "Oh yeah, and Owen is just as much of a prick as he was before he became chief, which I'm still bitter about by the way…"
"Such is your right, but just be thankful the merger didn't include you getting fired, Mom," I retort.
"Hey Laurie when is Charlie coming over again?" Dad calls from the kitchen. "He's still coming for dinner, right?"
"Yeah he is," I respond. "His lab gets done at six, he should be here in like 45 minutes or so."
"Done at six on a Friday? Brutal…" Mom mutters. "I do not miss med. school. Or summer labs."
"Every time you bring up med. school I get this weird desire to apologize," I laugh. "I still have no idea how you pulled that one off with two infants."
"That's so late!" Josie huffs in response to Charlie's arrival for dinner. "I'll die of starving-nation before then!" She's already setting the table in preparation for "bisketti."
I gasp. "Well! I do apologize Your Majesty!" I break out my best British accent, which always makes my sister laugh.
"You're always late too," she continues, perky as ever, like our conversation about Rinny never happened. "You were late for tea today. You and Charlie are gonna be the latest-est married couple ever."
"And here I thought you liked him…" I smirk, although in a way Josie has a point. We do have a nasty habit of being late.
"I do like Charlie. But I only have one Laurie!" She sets the silverware down and looks at me with those big blue eyes we share. "And just because you're going to doctor school and getting married doesn't mean you can't have tea with me anymore, on time." I hear the Rinny in her more than ever now. I think Mom does too because I notice her holding back laughter as she takes over setting the table.
I roll my eyes. "Any more clinical trials you're thinking of, Dad?"
"At this moment, no," Dad answers tartly. "The last one ended badly enough; right now we're just waiting to see which of the residents are sticking around as attendings next fall and where."
"Speaking of which," I cut in, helping Dad with the "bisketti" sauce on the stove. "If Alex goes to Hopkins is Izzie gonna go with him? I mean they are married after all but last I checked she wanted to stay here in Seattle."
"Laurie, you ask as if I pay any attention to anyone's love life around that hospital," Dad chuckles. "Aside from my own of course," he adds, noticing Mom's look.
"And mine," I snort, rolling my eyes.
"Now that, that is my job."
"Daddy," I sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. You don't have to go all "Father of the Bride" on me. Charlie and I have been together for five years. We've done the long-distance thing, the med. school thing…I think it might be time to start considering retirement."
"Laurie, when it comes to you and your sister, my job is never done," Dad says.
"Of course your job is never done Daddy you hafta save people's lifes!" Josie skips into the kitchen.
Dad laughs and I bend over, looking my sister directly in the eye.
"Jose, one day you'll be a teenager and understand that that was not the job he was talking about."
"Huh?" Josie looks at me, confused.
I laugh. "Have fun waiting 'til you're 40 to date, kid."
Addison's POV
July, 2012
"Wow, that was…that was an incredible surgery is what that was," Izzie Stevens says, scrubbing out next to me. "I know I've been sticking to this specialty for a while now, but still, separating conjoined identical twins in utero…"
"It's all part of the game," I smile, satisfied with our operation. "Dr. Stevens, I think it's safe to say both you and your husband have a knack for my specialty; well, mine and Dr. Robbins'," I add.
"Between you and me," Izzie leans forward, smiling. "It was way cooler getting to do this with you. I like her and all, but sometimes the perkiness is just a little…"
"Too much," I finish. "I know. But she loves Callie, and Callie's one of my best friends, so let's just leave it at that. Hey um, speaking of your husband, any word on if he's taking the deal with Hopkins?"
Izzie sighs. "Not yet. We're both still waiting to hear back about our exams. I know he really wants to take it but I just, I feel like Seattle's right for us, you know? We have great friends here, we both still like working here despite the merger. I just don't think I'm ready to leave yet."
"Well if anyone knows anything about Seattle being right for a marriage, it's me," I tell her, thinking back to five years ago – Laurie running away, Derek and me reconciling, moving out here, and me getting pregnant with my very boisterous now-five year old. "If being here feels right to you, tell him that. Something tells me he'll understand."
"I sure hope so," Izzie says. "And I have to say, a part of me also wants to stay so I can watch that daughter of yours go through med. school," she chuckles.
A wave of nerves passes through me at the mention of Laurie entering med. school at Washington this fall. Of course I'm beyond proud of her and thrilled to have her back in Seattle, but no one can deny how grueling it is.
"Hey you and me both," I sigh, wiping my hands on a paper towel.
"What? You don't think she's ready for it?" Izzie asks.
"Oh no I know she can do it; face it, if Mark Sloan can get through med. school so can my oldest daughter."
Izzie laughs.
"I'm just being a mom," I continue. "Worrying too much. Nothing new."
"You excited for the wedding next month?" Izzie smiles. Of course she would look so happy, she's helping my mother – God help us all – plan the whole thing.
"Yes and no," I say. "Yes because, as protective as I can be of Laurie, Charlie's great; I've always liked him, and he loves her so much – he saved her life five years ago. I can't not be grateful to have him as a son-in-law. No because I just can't believe my little girl's all grown up," I smile sadly. "And because you forced my hand in getting my mother involved," I add bitterly.
"Come on, Bizzy's not that bad." Izzie rolls her eyes.
"The fact that you're now on a first-name basis with her scares me a little bit," I chuckle.
"Well since Laurie and Charlie wanted to have the reception on your property the rest has been a piece of cake, literally," Izzie jokes. "August is like the best month to have a wedding in Seattle since it's really the only time the weather cooperates. And seriously, I think you're the only one who can't manage to get along with Bizzy for longer than five minutes…she's really got a knack for weddings."
"Oh ha ha. Just…try to keep this wedding as anti-WASP as possible, okay?"
"I'll do my best," Izzie laughs, just as her pager goes off. "It's Chief Hunt, I gotta take it. We'll catch up later?"
"Yeah, yeah, and call me if you need any help with the planning."
After Izzie leaves I set off in search of my husband, in desperate need to know I'm not the only one who thinks Izzie's insane for wanting to bring my mother in on Laurie's wedding planning. "Best event planner on the East Coast," my ass. Laurie just told Izzie she could include her grandmother because, unlike her mother, she has yet to disappoint Bizzy Forbes Montgomery.
From a distance I spot Derek sitting at a table in the cafeteria. I'm just about to join him when I see Mark's beat me to it.
Our age-old best friend Mark Sloan moved to Seattle only a few months after Josie was born. It took Derek – and me too, I'll admit – a little while to get used to seeing him again every day of the week, but in the end I think Mark's moving was one of the best things to happen to their friendship. It took a long time after my one-night-stand and Derek's affair for the two of us to feel completely secure in our marriage again, but after getting through Laurie's running away and then what came with my pregnancy with Josie, we knew – really know – how much we still loved each other. How much we still needed each other.
Things only got slightly awkward when Mark announced a few years ago that he wanted to date Meredith Grey's younger half-sister Lexie, a relationship that's now blossomed into what I know to be the most serious one in Mark's entire life. Enough to keep him from straying, and that's really saying something.
I hang back, listening in to my husband and best friends' conversation.
"So on a scale of one to 'I'm sleeping on the couch tonight' how bad do you think it would be if I told Lexie I didn't like her new hair color?" Mark asks Derek.
"That depends," Derek says. "Are you planning on being an ass about it?"
"No I just…she's so…blonde and it's just…weird…" Mark makes a face.
"Now that I wouldn't say because you will end up on the couch," Derek chuckles. Silently I swear that if he brings up my hiding grey highlights with red dye he will be sleeping on the couch tonight.
"Fine," Mark huffs. "But just wait until Addison decides to go blonde again, then you'll know what I'm talking about."
I roll my eyes.
"Hey man, what's eating you?" Mark asks after a moment, noticing Derek's silence.
"I just can't believe my little Buddy is getting married next month," he answers like he's been holding it in all day.
"You're telling me. Forget marriage, I'm planning on buying a gun once Sofia hits her teenage years."
Ha Derek, you should know a thing or two about that, you joke about it every five minutes with Josie.
"Josie already knows she's not dating 'til she's 40, so I think I'm in the clear there," Derek smirks.
Or there's that joke too, just for good measure.
"Eavesdropping on the boys, are we?" I jump at the sound of Callie Torres' voice behind me.
"No I was not," I respond tersely. "But you should know Mark's over there talking about buying a gun and keeping your daughter quarantined from ages 13 to 20."
"Don't worry, she's got two mothers on her side who can verbally kick Mark's ass any day," Callie smirks, walking forward toward Derek and Mark.
"Hello boys," she announces, sitting down next to Mark. "What's new on the male gossip train?"
"Hey," I smile at Derek, running a hand through his hair before sitting down.
"Hey yourself," he smiles, but I notice Mark was right; there does seem to be something a little off with Derek today. "How'd the surgery go?" He asks. Across the way I can hear Mark and Callie bantering about something to do with Sofia and teenage years…not surprising.
"It was good," I reply cheerfully. "Both Mom and babies are going to be just fine, but I'm keeping her overnight for a few nights for observation. What about you?"
"First one's in an hour." Derek checks his watch. "I've just been doing consults all morning."
"Consults, right? Not like, you say you're doing consults but you're planning another clinical trial kind of thing?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Addison, really. No more clinical trials for a while; the last thing I need is another ending like that."
"Okay, okay, just making sure." I frown, unable to place the look on his face. "Hey, you alright?"
"What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Even checked on Jose up at the day care before coming down here…"
"Oh yeah speaking of Josie, I think I'm gonna take her to the park this afternoon. I don't have any more surgeries planned for today, so I was thinking I'd get off early and go pick her up."
"Yeah, that sounds great I'm sure she'll love that," Derek says flatly.
Yeah, there is definitely something going on with him; just looking in his eyes I can tell.
"Okay well…I'm gonna go check on my patient then get out of here. I'll see you at home?"
"Okay," Derek gives a forced smile. "I'll see you at home." Leaning forward, he kisses me on the mouth quickly. But before he can pull back I catch him again, muttering an "I love you" against his lips. With a quick goodbye to Callie and Mark, I'm off in search of my little one.
"Mommy!" My youngest daughter's bubbly voice stands out from all the other kids.
"Hey, sweetheart," I smile, picking her up. She wraps her arms around my neck in a hug.
"You're early," she notes, giving me that toothy grin I love so much. "You're done with work already?"
"I sure am," I tell her, kissing her cheek. "So I thought I might see if my daughter wanted to go to the park with me this afternoon."
"Yeah I do!"
"Okay then go get your stuff and I'll sign you out!"
Josie and I leave the hospital hand-in-hand, dropping her bag in the car before heading off on our walk to the park. I smile, noticing the extra little skip in her step.
"Someone's happy today," I say.
"Well it isn't every day I get to go to the park with you, Mommy," she responds, making me want to squeeze her she's so cute.
"I thought it would be good, what with the wedding coming up; I wanted to spend some quality time with my other baby girl." I bend over and tickle her sides.
Josie giggles and I pick her up again. "Did you save any babies today?" She asks.
"You wanna know something cool?" I respond with a question, rubbing my nose against hers.
"Yeah," she giggles.
"Sometimes twin babies can be born connected to each other, like by their arms or hips – but that's not the cool part. The cool part is that sometimes baby doctors like me, and Izzie, and Alex can separate them while they're still inside their mommy's tummy."
Josie gasps. "You did that today?"
"I did, with Izzie," I nod.
"Wow." Josie's eyes grow big in contemplation. "So…Laurie is a twin baby too?"
My chest clenches. "Yes she is, sweetheart. Rinny is her twin sister."
"Were they born connected too?"
"Oh no, no, your daddy and I got lucky with our twin babies," I tell her, adjusting her on my hip.
"I wish I could have a twin," Josie says quietly.
I pause before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Well I love you just the way you are; you're my surprise little one."
"I love you too, Mommy, just the way you are." Josie says, adding "that means you're my surprise Mommy!"
"I've never thought of it that way," I chuckle, before giving her another Eskimo kiss.
"There's the park right up there!" Josie squeals, wriggling to get down; but instead of running off to the park, she looks down at my shoes then back up at me. "You're wearing sneakers," she notes.
"Yeah, what about them?" I ask.
"That means I can race you to the park!" She grins, taking off down the last block of the sidewalk. "Come on, Mom!"
I laugh, watching my daughter run, her dark curls blowing in the wind, her laughter contagious.
"I'm coming, Josie!"
"Derek, seriously are you okay? You've been quiet and distant all day," I note, sliding into bed next to him later that night. "And before you say anything to the contrary, I'm not the only one who's noticed."
Derek sighs. "Have I really been that obvious?"
"Honey, when something's bothering you, you're about as subtle as a freight train," I tell him. "What's the matter? Did something happen at work with a patient?" I hesitate before asking the next question. "Is it about the wedding?"
"If I tell you will you promise not to bite my head off about it?" Derek sets his book down on the nightstand, turning to look at me.
"Now why would I do that?" I ask, exasperated and wishing he would just tell me.
Derek pauses. "Because every time I get worked up about something to do with the girls you tell me I'm either being too protective or paranoid, or not strict enough. There's no happy medium with you."
"So it is about the wedding," I conclude.
"It's not that I don't want her to be happy," Derek starts. "I just can't believe that in a month…she's not gonna be my little Buddy anymore."
"Honey…" I scoot closer, resting my head against his chest. He wraps both arms around me tightly. "Don't kill me for saying this, but I heard you mention that to Mark earlier today in the cafeteria before Callie and I sat down."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I did. And Laurie mentioned something a while ago about being afraid of you going all 'Father of the Bride' on her."
Derek laughs. "So I guess the cat's been out of the bag for a while now, huh?"
"It would appear that way." I run my finger up and down his chest. "But can I be totally honest with you?"
Derek nods.
"I'm flipping out just as much as you are. Like earlier today when I took Josie to the park all I could think about was how it was just yesterday we were taking five year old Laurie to the park. There's no way she's almost 23 and about to get married and go to med. school; there's no way that much time has passed."
"So what are we going to do, Addison?" Derek sighs.
"Well, we always knew this time would come, right?"
"I remained happily in denial about it, but yes, you're right," he agrees.
"So, we'll take it a day at a time. Think about it in a positive light. At least she's marrying a smart, stable guy who really loves her. And I mean, she's been with him longer than we were together before getting married…and Derek, she's 22, which is the same age I was when I was pregnant with her and Rin."
"Oh God, you could have kept that last one to yourself," he groans, running a hand through his hair. "Besides, that was…different. You were-"
"I was what?" I laugh, challenging him.
"I don't know…you were more…womanly."
"More womanly?!" I laugh. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I…"
"You just don't want to admit that you were that guy; you were Charlie, marrying someone's little girl," I tease.
"Okay now this is becoming increasingly unfair," Derek says, holding me close. "Stop being logical and let me reminisce over my baby girl."
I respond by placing light kisses along his neck, caressing his cheek. My heart gives a slight pinch, feeling how tense he is.
"Mmm are you trying to seduce me after talking about our daughter's wedding?" Derek mutters, as my lips leave a trail down toward his chest.
"Of course not…"
Derek moans softly, my lips returning to his neck, sucking lightly. "I think your lips would prove otherwise…" he trails off.
"Hmm then so be it," I smirk, gently tugging on his shirt, revealing his toned upper body. "I love how much you love our girls, how protective you are and how much you care. And seeing that side of you, Derek it makes me love you so much more."
Derek pulls back, looking at me. I can see the longing in his eyes already. "I love you, Addison."
I bring my hand back up to his cheek. "I love you too."
Pressing my lips into his, I let Derek roll on top of me, relishing in our two bodies becoming one; how, even after 24 years of marriage, we can still have so much love for one another.
Lauren's POV
August, 2012
Staring at myself in my dressing room mirror, I flashback to New York, standing in my bedroom clad in a floor-length lavender ball gown for an award dinner for Mom. Being 15 and 135 pounds at the time, it's safe to say dresses were not my thing. I was tall with no curves, and virtually no boobs – problems most female soccer players were forced to contend with. All I wanted was to get to the event, listen to Mom make her speech about the surgery and accept her award, and then go. After hitting that last growth spurt, I was certain I would never be comfortable in anything girly ever again.
That was until I put on my wedding dress.
At first Bizzy suggested I try to wear the one Mom did when she married Dad back in 1988, but – somewhat to my surprise – Mom shot that idea down right away.
"She needs something completely her own, Bizzy; I want her wedding to be completely her own," Mom had said. And completely my own it will be, aside from my "something old" – a necklace given to my grandma Carolyn by my grandpa before he died. I remember seeing Dad's face when she gave it to me, noticing the tears he was holding back.
Carefully, I reach up and touch the necklace resting just below my collar bone. A strapless, the white gown is floor-length, hugging tightly at the waist before billowing gracefully to the floor. I never in my wildest pictured myself wearing something like this and feeling good about myself.
There are only about 30 more minutes before the ceremony starts. The both of us Catholics, we of course agreed to marry inside the church in a traditional ceremony with traditional Catholic vows, but the reception is set to be on my parents' property out on Bainbridge. I thought it would be fitting – not only is it beautiful land, but it's where my family was able to rebuild itself and start over. It's special to me for those very reasons.
The ringlets in my hair – for once in my life – flow nicely down my back in a half-up chignon. Instead of hiring an actual hairdresser I had Grandma Carolyn do it, since she has four daughters herself and was coined honorary hairdresser when the three oldest got married. I remember sitting in front of the mirror in the master bathroom at home, Josie in my lap and Grandma Carolyn standing behind me with a comb and can of hair spray while Bizzy frantically ran around complaining that the caterers brought the wrong wine (or the candles were out of place!) and then somehow turning that into Mom's fault. And then Irene – Charlie's grandmother – spending half the time helping Grandma with my hair and the other half discussing all the major health problems my mother had apparently saved her from.
My parents were smart and made themselves scarce; I could only hope though that with Bizzy around Mom wasn't hitting the booze too early in the day.
The rest of the morning went by smoothly; the house and yard look beautiful, everyone got to the church alright, and the weather is a cloudless 75. Perfect for a wedding day.
My eyes avert to the little butterfly clip resting nicely next to the chignon and my eyes fill. Mom and Dad had come into my room late last night and sat on my bed; I expected a sentimental speech, so one could imagine my surprise when Mom just opened her hand and gave me the little hair clip – Rinny's hair clip.
"She wore it every ballet recital," Mom said, her eyes clouding over with tears. "And I – we – think you should wear it tomorrow, to carry a piece of Rin with you."
Rinny, who should be here today, standing beside me as my Maid of Honor.
"I'm getting married today, Rin," I whisper into the mirror, touching the clip.
"You're getting married today," a voice floats in from behind me. Startled, I spin around. Mom's standing in the doorway. If I thought last night was bad, that's nothing compared to the waterworks now.
"Oh my gosh," she chokes, cupping my cheeks in her hands. She looks gorgeous in her knee-length navy blue dress. "You're stunning."
I look down, smiling shyly.
Mom looks at me, face clouded over with emotion. "My baby girl's getting married."
Silently, I pull her into another hug. "I love you, Mom," I whisper.
"I love you too, so much," she mutters into my shoulder. Slowly, she turns her head and leaves a gentle kiss on my head right over the Rinny's hair clip.
"Okay, you have to stop now or your make-up's gonna smear," I joke, trying to ignore the lump in my throat – but it's a good lump.
"Sorry," she says, dabbing under her eyes. "But that's what waterproof mascara's for, right?"
She smiles at me, gently pulling the veil over my face, and soon we're walking out into the foyer where I'm met by all my bridesmaids in dark purple floor-length dresses – Jana, Maggie, Monica, Megan, and Charlie's two sisters Natalie and Emma – my Maid of Honor Hannah, Izzie, Bizzy (who immediately commented on how Mom's hair is falling out of its updo), and finally my baby sister and dad.
Hannah pulls me into a quick hug, making one last joke about getting to walk down the aisle with Charlie's best friend (and Best Man) Evan whom she's secretly in love with, to which I respond (in a whisper) with in no way is she allowed to sneak off for a hook-up during my reception.
"Why Miss Josephine, don't you just look gorgeous." I smile at my baby sister, looking adorable in her lavender flower girl dress.
Josie blushes. "Can I keep the dress forever?"
"If you really want to," I tell her, running a hand through her dark curls.
"Thanks," she smiles, before wrapping her little arms around my waist. "You're the most beautiful bride ever, Laurie," she says, before skipping over to Natalie and Emma. She's been so excited to be gaining "two new big sissies."
I feel my eyes prickle, kneeling down to talk to my sister. "I'll come a close second to you when you get married one day." I press a quick kiss to her cheek as Dad clears his throat.
"What?" I laugh up at him.
"I already have one little girl getting married today, I don't want to think about the next one yet," he says.
Like earlier with Mom, I don't say anything, I just pull him into a tight hug.
"You look so beautiful, Laurie," he says. "Just like your mother." I take that as a huge compliment – I've always thought Mom to be the most beautiful woman, wished I could have her grace and confidence all the time.
"I love you, Daddy," I tell him, trying not to cry. "You'll always be my best guy."
"And you'll always be my best girl," he whispers, pulling away.
Before we know it the music starts playing inside and the butterflies start to flutter in my stomach. Charlie is on the other side of those doors; I haven't seen him since yesterday and just the thought of seeing him now, holding him, kissing him, creates a love inside me so intense I could explode.
Dad and I stand at the back of the line, linked arm-in-arm, while Mom stands at the front with my uncle Archer.
I hear everyone inside rise in the pews as everyone files inside. I take a deep breath just as Dad and I reach the door.
"You ready, Buddy?" He looks over at me, his blue eyes speaking volumes.
"Yeah," I breathe. "I'm ready."
Immediately as we pass through the doorway I'm overwhelmed at the love radiating from everyone in the room. Looking around, I see all my family and friends, from Charlie's and my friends and teammates, to the Shepherds, to the Montgomerys – yes, even the ones we can't tolerate, because according to Bizzy it "wouldn't be socially acceptable to invite some of the family and not others!" – to the Millers, to a handful of Seattle Grace/Mercy West doctors. Uncle Mark winks at me from the pews as we walk past, his daughter Sofia sleeping peacefully in his arms. I stick my tongue out jokingly in response. It's after locking eyes with Irene for a moment that I see him.
Charlie, the man I am about to marry, standing up at the altar waiting for me. Even from a distance I can see the tears in his eyes, seeing me in my dress for the first time, and as soon as Dad hugs me one last time and kisses my cheek, giving me away, my vision clouds over.
Charlie smiles at me and for a moment I wish I could take his hand and run out of here, so just the two of us exist, us and our love. As if he can sense my nerves, he takes hold of my hand, rubbing soft circles with his thumb.
"I love you," he mouths.
I do the same, smiling like an idiot already.
The priest takes his place at the altar. "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"
"Her mother and I do," I hear Dad from the first row of pews, and my heart skips a beat. Looking over quickly, I notice my parents are holding hands.
The priest smiles at Charlie and me before reciting a passage from 1 Corinthians 13.
"Lauren and Charlie, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"
"I do."
"I do."
"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"
"I will."
"I will."
"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
"I will."
"I will."
He turns to Charlie.
"Charles Everett Miller, do you take Lauren to be your lawfully wedded wife; to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Charlie looks me straight in the eye, a soft gaze. "I, Charles Everett, take you, Laurie, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
The priest turns to me now. "And do you, Lauren Maureen Montgomery Shepherd, take Charles to be your lawfully wedded husband; to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
I smile. "I, Lauren Maureen, take you, Charlie, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
The priest acknowledges the vows, declaring "What God hath joined, men must not divide." Then, with almost a childish smile, says…
"You may now kiss the bride."
Part II to come soon. Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcomed :)