Chapter 36

Title: The Ride

Author: And24Trina

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating: M

Summary: Callie & Arizona AU fic. Arizona is lost in a whirlwind of circumstances, relying on her motorcycle to give her clarity. Will this ride lead to the change that she needs, or lead to further hurt and heartache, or is this just the journey that she needs?

Chapter: 36/?

Disclaimer: All characters from Grey's Anatomy belong to the Queen that is Shonda Rhimes… How different my life would be if only I'd created them first….

** I am so sorry it's been so long. I have gotten questions asking if I was letting this story go. I can assure you. No matter what it takes, I am going to see this out to the very end. Hoping you guys are still with me…

XxxxxxxX

"Hey, where's Sof?" Arizona entered the bedroom where Callie was sitting with her back to the headboard. "Oh, that looks good, what is it?"

Enveloping the last piece of fruit between plump lips, the brunette turned away from her fiancé's waiting lips allowing for Arizona to meet her cheek with a quick peck. "You're late." Callie offered dryly.

Weary of the 'welcome home' Arizona completely disregarded the statement and went about changing into more comfortable clothes for bed.

"There's no way you're getting in bed smelling like that." Callie slid down under the fluffy duvet, facing away from the blonde.

"Uhm, okay… you're upset. Are we going to talk about whatever it is?" Arizona tried to sit beside Callie on the bed, but her presence was met with a cold glare.

Barely pulling the blanket down, the upset woman offered, "Your dinner is in the microwave." And with that the cover was pulled back up, effectively hiding the brunette away.

"I'm going to… hop in the shower." Standing from the bed, she motioned in vain toward the bathroom across the room. Callie was so upset, she waited until the bathroom door closed before releasing an exasperated breath.

Not wanting to get into whatever had her fiancé so upset tonight, Arizona decided to take her time in the shower. Allowing the hot water to beat against her body. With every drop of water, her exhaustion began to set in. Her head dropped forward, her chin meeting her breastplate. Looking down, weary blue eyes came to rest on the unwanted scar that continued to mar delicate porcelain skin.

Nimble fingers traced over the stitching technique that Mark used to close her up after the life saving surgery. 'Some of my best work. This would put the Sistine Chapel to shame.' He'd offered when he'd come to check on it after she was awake. 'Once it's healed you'll barely remember it was ever there.' Arizona scoffed at the remembered words.

How could she ever forget? Especially now with the heated water beating at it so, causing a roaring red to appear around the edges of the wound site. Suddenly an irrational anger grew from deep within. Resentful fingers clung to the soap filled sponge as she scrubbed at her previously unblemished skin. Every swipe was made in attempt to rid ugly mark from her body, from her memory, from her life.

But it didn't leave. No. Her pale complexion pulsated a desperate red as her skin begged for mercy. As if a judgment had reigned down, her hand slammed down on the faucet. All she wanted to do was scream. Scream at Callie for being mad at her. Scream at her body for being so easily marred. Scream at herself for choosing to be a surgeon. Scream at herself for choosing a career that caused her to hold a person… a child's life in her hands. She wanted to scream for not being good enough that time, and losing her patient. She wanted to scream because a man chose to come to her work place and shoot her. He tried to kill her…

Furious tears spouted from her eyes as her towel clad body slid down the wall until she met the floor. Not wanting any more sympathy, Arizona pulled an additional towel into her grasp to muffle the sound of her weeping. Even with the knowledge of her fiancé being upset with her, Arizona knew if Callie knew of her struggle just on the other side of the door- -she would be in there like a flash of light. But she didn't want to be comforted right now. No. She needed to face this monster alone.

Pulling herself off the floor, Arizona stood to regard her image in the mirror. Turning on the sink faucet, water was splashed in attempt to rid the blotches from fair skin. Goosebumps from the cool air erupted over her skin, pushing the blonde to move back into the bedroom for a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

In the bed, Callie had fallen asleep while Arizona was in the shower. After the peds surgeon had exited the bedroom, Callie made an attempt to reign in her displeasure with her lover. She was just so upset because the couple was supposed to have plans tonight.

Dinner tonight. You + me. Desert = me 3 -C

Wink. Wink. I'll bring the whip… cream, that is. -A

They'd seen each other throughout the day, and everything seemed great. Flirtatious licks had been passed. At one point Callie had been simply walking down the hall after scrubbing out of surgery, when she was abruptly pulled into a closet where her fiancé had effectively groped and mauled her with passion filled kisses.

But somehow between then and the end of her shift where she'd rushed home, shipped their daughter over to uncle Mark's and poured all of herself into preparing a simple, yet romantic dinner, something went way left.

With the lights dimmed, two wine glasses had been poured accompanying the candlelit setting of what Callie hoped would help for a calm and understanding conversation about what was going on with them lately. It was Callie's hope that they would choose a real moving date, maybe settle on a wedding date… and wrap it all up with two naked bodies enthralled by each other.

But time had passed… the playlist in the background had reached its end… candles burned out, and food that was once smoking took on the temperature of the room. Keeping her uplifted spirit, the brunette figured there must've been a dyer emergency that had pulled the peds surgeon back in. But a quick call over to the hospital relayed that the missing woman had disengaged from the machine hours ago.

A thought to panic about the unknown whereabouts of her fiancé didn't have time to settle in the ortho surgeon. When she rescued her mobile from the bedroom, her lock screen had been filled with alerts. But they weren't missed calls or text from her lover… no, they were Instagram notifications. Unlocking her phone revealed a series of tagged photos and videos that captured her missing lover.

Arizona had been having the time of her life according to the captured footage. In one picture she sat atop her beloved bike, helmet raised in the air as she faced the sunset. Had her view not been filtered by immediate anger, Callie would have appreciated the beauty of the image. But with each swipe, the hurt and ache in her heart only intensified… Surrounded by friends from the track, Arizona was the feature of at least two videos that saw her besting her previous highest speed.

And as the last video played, it was revealed why Arizona smelled like a distillery when she attempted to slip in the bed. There was a celebration of spraying beer that had been offered like an activated sprinkler.

Callie tried to just let go of the fury that dismissed her fiancé… but what didn't budge was the hurt. So she hid under the big fluffy duvet until sleep enraptured her.

Standing at the edge of the bed taking in the sight of the beautiful slumbering woman, Arizona made a decision. Turning on her heel, she quietly moved out into the living room and stretched out across the couch. Pulling the blanket from across the back of the sofa Arizona settled down into the cushions for another sleepless night.

Each night for the past week Arizona would lay awake, staring at the spackled ceiling. When she would fall asleep her vision was haunted by alarming illusions. The worst yet was the one where Callie had been the one that had gotten shot, and she being the one forced to watch as Mr. Kramer stole the life of her love.

From that night on, she would wrap around the brunette and she would wait until Callie fell asleep, then she would spend her night watching the sleeping beauty for as long as she could without waking her love.

Callie had been so good at being there and taking care of her for weeks. Arizona didn't want to keep burdening her lover, being a patient. She wanted to get back to being equal partners… lovesick… lovers. So, as best she could, Arizona hid her struggles from her partner.

Arizona didn't realize she'd even fallen asleep until her warmth had been abruptly pulled out of her grasp, causing a shiver to run up her spine. "Wh-wh-what?" She felt around for the blanket, coming up empty.

"You're not sleeping out here. Come to bed." Callie stood at the end of the couch, blanket thoroughly out of reach from searching fingers.

Blinking sleep laden eyes open, the sight of the pouting brunette was simply adorable. But right now all Arizona saw was Callie harboring her source of heat. "Callie… I'm cold."

"I can't sleep without you. Come to bed."

"I thought you were mad at me."

"I am…" Callie moved around the couch, pulling at the shorter woman. "Come to bed."

XxxxxxxX

"Hey Cal… did you see my keys when you left this morning?" Arizona's voice blared through the O.R. from the intercom.

Not bothering to look up from the hand that she was working on, Callie called out her response. "No. Did you get Sof off to school okay?"

"We had to call momma to come give us a ride… I swear I sat them down in the fruit bowl when I came in last night." Arizona paced as she tried to replay her entrance into their apartment last night. "I came in… kicked off my shoes, dropped my jacket on the couch… I put them in the bowl, I swear I did." Shaking her head, she couldn't fathom how her keys could've disappeared.

"Oh, well that's good. Sof was wanting to call her yesterday. But we didn't get to it. You think she'll be able to pick her up as well? It's your pick up day, and you don't have any keys…"

"I can just take your car to pick her up Cal… I have a pretty light day today."

"Oh, I didn't drive. Mark and I were paged in at the same time, so I just rode in with him." Callie nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders as she continued her work. "Call your mom Zo… Sof would love to spend some time with her nana Robbins today."

"Ugh. Fine." Up in the gallery, she pulled out her phone shooting a quick text to her mother to set up the afterschool pick up. Huffing, she made her way out of the small room, leaving the team to continue their work.

"So… you've just resorted to hiding her keys then?"

"What?" Dark scanned across the patient to Meredith who was working on the liver lac in the patient's abdomen. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"So, what's the plan for when you actually have to look at her?"

"I just so happen to be a very sought after orthopedic surgeon. Today I seem to really be in high demand…" Callie shrugged.

Chuckling at her friend, Meredith offered her two cents. "You're going to have to talk to her Torres. And what if she finds where you hid them?"

"That won't happen… They're in Mark's junk drawer. And I had Teddy to hide the spare set that Tim keeps for her."

"So you've thought this out then?" A displeasing look covered the dirty blonde's features.

"Dr. Torres, you have a message." One of the nurses called out. With a nod of her head, the ortho surgeon signaled for the nurse to go ahead and read it aloud. "Riddle me this… I'm spread ou-"

"-No!" Callie immediately called out. Her tone held more force than she intended, causing the room to hold multiple sets of eyes in her direction. "Ahem…" She tried to clear the oversized lump that suddenly filled her throat, causing a coughing fit behind her surgical mask.

"Can we get Dr. Torres some water please?" Meredith was suddenly very amused at whatever the nurse nearly called out over the OR. Watching the brunette take a sip of the offered water, the general surgeon continued her work. "So, care to share with the class?"

"Sloan."

"Ahhh…" The single word was answer enough.

Usually Callie found the raunchy texts from her friend funny. Lately he'd taken to sending her suggestive riddles, that had pretty surprising answers. Just a few days ago, Arizona had picked up her lover's phone witnessing one of these texts. 'I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good…. Slide to unlock message'; Hid behind the lock code was the rest of the riddle, that begged the question. What am I?

Arizona was no stranger to how crude the plastic surgeon carried himself daily. This message, case in point. After a pointless argument about the blonde not being reachable for two hours, this didn't serve as any help in calming the argument when the partial messaged ticked across the screen. Going in circles without resolution for longer than the peds surgeon cared to, she finally decided maybe talking was over rated. Pulling the taller woman into her, she smashed their lips together until her lover melted into the embrace. Hoping to bypass any furtherance of the argument, Arizona dutifully brought her lover to three orgasms back to back without a break in between. Callie was nearly crawling away from the blonde's strong pink muscle, as it nearly sucked her soul out through her vagina.

It was two days that the ortho surgeon had walked a little funny from the fervent sexcapade. "Yeah." Callie surveyed her work, making sure she was on path to complete her goal in healing the patient's limb. "Remind me to step on his phone the next time I see him. I swear, he waits until the absolute wrong time to send me that crap."

"Oh Sloan…"

XxxxxxxX

"It's been two days… how are both sets of my keys still missing?"

Callie walked out of the bedroom set to prepare breakfast. Neither of the surgeons had to be at work this morning. Hearing the words fall from her fiancé, she felt just a little bit guilty about the ruse. But her eased mind about her lover's safety outweighed that bit of guilt, so breakfast prep continued unfazed. "I'm going to be honest, I'm kind of selfishly enjoying us riding around together these past two days."

"I was just really hoping to go out for a ride tonight." Arizona pulled the last cushion from the couch in hopes of locating her missing keys. "Fucking feel like I'm suffocating…" The frustrated blonde attempted to speak under her breath.

The look of disappointment and hurt in olive features was missed by the searching blue eyes. Suddenly there was a desire to make up a lie about an early consult so she could flee the apartment. But not before her mouth spoke out on its own. "I didn't realize spending time with me was such a burden."

Tension was suddenly more relevant than oxygen, causing Arizona's head to shoot up. "Callie that's not what I meant and you know it." Her voice held a little more edge than necessary, her anger rearing its ugly head again. Giving up on her search, Arizona haphazardly tossed the cushions back atop the couch before moving to their bedroom.

Coming back out dark eyes looked up to see a blonde head emerge through a hoodie being pulled on. "Where are you going?" Callie asked when Arizona picked up her car keys from the bowl.

"I have an early consult." Was all that was offered as she moved for the door.

"I thought you didn't have to be in until 10." It wasn't a question. Callie was positive of the schedule.

Not bothering to look back, Arizona continued her exit.

Later that day Callie's frustration threatened to completely bubble over. "Words Cal. English words… I don't understand Spanish, you know that. Now talk to Uncle Mark, tell me all your problems."

And so she did. With a string of Kleenex left in her wake and red puffy eyes, Callie recalled her grievances with her fiancé. She would've rather talked to the beholder of her heart about these things, but things were just so off between them lately and Callie didn't know how to fix it because Arizona was refusing to talk to her about whatever was going on.

"And I'm so fucking in love with her… I just want to shake her and force her to talk to me, you know?"

"Damn Cal, I'm sorry." Mark had no reason to apologize, but he was sympathetic to what was going on with the couple. "Isn't she in therapy? It's not helping?"

"I wouldn't know. She refuses to talk about it." Callie sniffed again. "We were doing so good at first. I don't get it. Think she regrets the proposal? Maybe it was just some kind of near death thing?"

Mark ran a hand over the back of his neck, squeezing at some of the tension there. "Don't think like that. That woman absolutely adores you, so much so it kind of makes the rest of us nauseous. You two are just having a rough go of it right now. It'll get better before you know it. Maybe try talking to her again."

"Thank you Mark." Callie knew her best friend was right. This talk was just what she needed, someone from the outside to help her perspective. "We were supposed to talk the other night, but it didn't go so well. Maybe I should give it another go…"

…

"Hey… Can I borrow your bike?" Arizona was across town seated at her brother's kitchen table.

"Shouldn't you be at work right now? I thought you had a big surgery today."

"I did…" Her head fell and her shoulders slumped. "He didn't make it." Arizona didn't want to focus on her lost patient. "Can I borrow your bike?"

"No." Daniel came around from the fridge, sitting a cold beer in front of his sister. But before releasing the cold beverage, he asked. "Off for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah. Karev and Winter are covering me for rest of the day." She pulled the offered drink from his hand. "No? Why not?"

"I know that look… It only leads to one of two things. You're either going to push it until you're dragged back to jail for speeding or you're going to wreck. And I'm not letting either happen on my bike." Jr took a seat across from the offended woman. "Don't give me that look. You're reckless."

"I'm not reckless… I know what I'm doing, I'm not going to wreck. Come on, please? I just need some air."

"No. What you need is to pull your head out of your ass." Arizona moved to stand from her seat before her brother's booming voice halted her movement. "Sit your ass down. Callie takes your shit but I'm not Callie."

At the mention of her fiancé a fire set off in her eyes. "You don't know anything about my relationship with Callie."

"You've been treating her like shit. Hellen Keller could tell what's going on with you. You're going backwards Zo, and what I'm wondering is when you just decided to give up?"

"Oh the almighty Jr…. What do you know?" Arizona threw an angry hand through the air. Irrational anger was her go to emotion these days, and though she knew it was irrational her mind just wasn't fighting against it. "Here's something that is your business… Did you tell Jess that you were shot over there? You can try to hide it under that new tattoo all you want… I'm a doctor, I know what a gsw looks like."

Daniel was a little taken off guard at the mention of the wound. He hadn't said anything about it, and up until now, no one had asked. He was in a family of doctors, of course they could see the wound. But he didn't like to talk about what happened while he was deployed. As long as he came back alive, his loved ones didn't need to hear the gory details. He learned a while back that he could dump all of his crap on a therapists couch, and that was best for everyone.

To his family, friends and co-workers his were hands of healing. But when his work uniform didn't consist of scrubs and a white coat, but a set of fatigues… the task hands performed wasn't always one of healing.

"One night after my first deployment…" Daniel started in a calm tone, hoping to diffuse the bomb that was his little sister. "I'd only been home for about three weeks and I was having a hard time adjusting. But I was so relieved t be home, and everyone was so happy… It was non stop parties for days. So I put on a smile and played my part. I was home, I was alive and all of my limbs were in tact. Even more, my kid brother and sister had been accepted into the most prestigious school in the country. There wasn't any space to focus on whatever I might be struggling with…. But someone noticed me, and noticed that things were off."

"Dad" Now the ortho surgeon had his baby sister's attention. "The day of the big cookout he tried to talk to me. Said he could tell I was struggling, and when I was ready to talk he was there for me. He also suggested that maybe I talk to my C/O about maybe talking to someone professionally. But I was too much of a tough guy to listen…"

"That's why you moved in with Jess?"

"Yeah…" The memory washed over the older brother. "Things were pretty good too. Except at night when I was left alone with my demons. Do you remember her old place? She was barely making ends meet… wanting to put herself through school. She had that little studio, and the train would run right past the window. One particular night we were asleep with the window open… it was during a heatwave and she didn't have any AC. It was like a damn sauna in there… or the desert. The train went past the window, which caused me to wake up. I couldn't sleep after that, so for a while I went into the other room and did push-ups hoping it would tire me out. Jess must've sensed that I wasn't in bed, because the next thing I know, she's in the doorway asking me to come back to bed. Trying to keep my mind off the heat I laid there watching the ceiling fan. I don't even remember falling asleep." Jr paused, Arizona could almost see the story playing in identical blue eyes. The pain of the memory brought a thickness into the air. "I almost killed her that night."

Jr could see the shock written across his sister's face. This retelling wasn't of a time in life that he was proud off. She would be the first person in his family that would see into the darkness that had consumed him once upon a time.

"The blades from the fan triggered an episode. She awoke with my hands around her neck. I thought she was an insurgent…" Tears welled in Arizona's eyes as the memory continued. "She had to hit me with the lamp from the side of the bed to bring me back." He let the words sit as he shook his head. Daniel didn't like to revisit this time in his life. "She's the love of my life, and I almost killed her with my bare hands because I was too fucking stupid to listen when someone tried to help me." The words sounded very hard, but came out laced with the softness he hoped would be essential in getting through to Arizona.

"That's when you moved back home." It wasn't a question. She remembered just as she and Tim had taken off to start their college career their eldest brother had made a return home without explanation.

"I couldn't trust myself. I started therapy a few days later." A strong hand ran over his hand, scratching lightly at his scalp. "It took a long time for Jess, or even myself to trust that I wouldn't hurt her again. She understood that I wasn't myself at that time… but… I swear I don't know how I got so lucky. She could've run for the hills… and for a while there, she did. I mean, I gave her every fucking reason to, right? But she came back and has supported my recovery every step of the way. Don't wait until it's too late Zo, to get help. You have a lot more to lose than I did at the time."

Arizona's head shot back up, eyeing her brother who sat across from her. She allowed his words to sink in. "I'm not going to hurt Callie."

"You're angry, Arizona. You were shot, and you almost died. The guy that shot you killed himself like the coward he was and you never got a chance to face him… see him punished for what he did to you. You have a right to be angry. But you also need to get rid of that anger in a healthy way."

Daniel hoped that he really got through as their conversation continued. Arizona stayed for a little while longer before heading home to her fiancé. She had been such a mess, and she really needed to fix it.

XxxxxxxX

That conversation with Mark set Callie off with a replay of her plan from a few days prior. So with Sofia off at Grandma O'Malley's for the night she prepared a simple pasta dish for dinner as she waited to see if Arizona would be coming home tonight. Waiting for the chicken that was searing in the pan with some vegetables, Callie heard her phone call for her attention from across the room.

"Okay sweetheart, I love you too. Be good for grandma and I'll see you tomorrow." Callie was finishing her phone call with Sofia when she heard Arizona step into the apartment. "Alright Bug, I'll tell her you said goodnight, and she loves you too."

Arizona stood near the island that ended the living space and started the kitchen while Callie completed her call. From what she could tell by the one sided conversation on the phone, Sofia was out for the night with one of her grandmother's. The smell of food in the air and Sofia being out meant the two women could sit down and talk. Arizona wanted to talk, she really did… especially after the conversation with her brother. But she thought she would have at least a day to get her thoughts together. Her mind began to race. "You're making dinner…" It was the first thing that came to mind.

Callie sat the phone back down, rushing back to the cooking food. Dumping the pasta into the colander in the sink, she looked over with a gentle smile. She could tell Arizona's mind was racing. "It's just pasta. I wasn't sure if you'd be hungry or not." The brunette spoke tentatively, trying to feel the other woman out.

"It smells good." Arizona moved around the island, standing barely a foot away from the cooking woman. "You're baking bread too?" She could smell the butter and garlic wafting from the oven.

"Yeah…" Callie turned to regard the shorter woman, as she pulled back from checking the bread in the oven. "So… I would like for us to talk." The food continued to sizzle on the stove top behind her.

"Okay?" The peds surgeon squinted questioningly before she noticed smoke beginning to rise behind the other woman. "Oh, the chicken is burning."

Dark eyes moved to monitor the sizzling meat. "No, it's fine."

"No, it's burning." Arizona frantically looked for a cloth to aid in removing the hot metal from the stovetop.

"Arizona, listen… Arizona." Callie moved to stop her movements. "It's fine… it's not burning, it's fine." Her words were futile as the blonde went to lift the skillet from its source of heat. Finding a cloth, she lifted the sizzling metal to relieve Arizona's worry.

Without realizing it, Arizona reached for the heated item seconds after Callie, causing her hand to come into contact with the heat. "Mother Fucker! God Dammit!" Arizona fumed, as she drew her injured hand into her self.

Setting the skillet down at the alarmed tone, Callie rushed over to her lover. As she approached the fuming woman her steps faltered at the fire coming off the shorter woman.

Arizona looked up just in time to see the fear of the unknown flash through dark eyes, as Callie's steps faltered. Injured hand momentarily forgotten, she tilted her head to the side slightly in concern. "You're afraid of me?"

"I- -I don't want to be." The brunette spoke honestly. Moving to dampen a cloth, she passed it over to her her lover to care for her injured hand. "Its… It's not that I think that you're going to hurt me, but you're going to hurt yourself." As she spoke, she moved to the side of the counter and pulled something out. Pulling out her hand, she opened it to reveal the 'missing' keys. "I want to be honest with you, but I'm scared that you're going to take off."

Surprise reverberated across the peds surgeon's features. "You found them?"

"I hid them." She spoke honestly. "And I… I honestly am not sorry." Callie was a little nervous to continue on. "Can we- -can we maybe sit and talk?" The ortho surgeon wrung her hands together, unsure of what to expect next. "Please…" She pled.

"You- -you hid my keys?" The blonde wasn't sure she was hearing correctly. She could feel the rage trying to creep in. Closing her eyes, the struggling woman inhaled a deep intake of breath before slowly releasing it in attempt to tame the beast that was threatening to cry out. Continuing her breathing exercise, Arizona's feet moved of their own accord pacing back and forth. Callie began to prepare for the woman to flee until she heard her fiancé speak up. "Why?"

"I'm scared Arizona!" The words rushed out before she could make any attempt to capture them. But realizing she had spoken so truthfully Callie decided to continue. Her voice lowered, full of emotion. "I'm scared Arizona all the time." Settling into the couch, the brunette pulled her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around herself as her vulnerability seeped out with the tears the streamed down olive cheeks. "You were shot, and almost died. But our friends brought you back. And now every time you walk out of that door and get on that bike… It's like you're trying to kill yourself. I- -I can't lose you Arizona. I can't lose you too."

"You're not going to lose me Callie, you don't have to worry about that."

"Worry. All I do is worry all the time." Unraveling herself from the pretzel she folded herself into, tears poured angrily as she sat up with more confidence. "I spend every minute of every day worrying that I'm going to get a phone call that you've wrapped your bike around a tree."

A blonde head tilted to the side, taking in the words and their emotion.

"That's why I hid your keys, so that just for a little while, I would know that you weren't dying like you were dying on that table. That's what I think about every time you pick up that helmet and walk out the door."

Without Callie even realizing, Arizona closed the distance between them as she sat on the coffee table directly in front of her lover. She wanted to reach out and hold the crying woman, but she wasn't sure if the embrace would be welcomed. "I'm right here. I'm okay." She attempted to offer a warm smile to calm her fiancé. "We're okay." Arizona breathed out.

"I was planning to propose to you that day." Dark eyes were stained in crimson strains of red. "That night I planned to talk to you about having another baby." Callie could see the shock race through pale features. "I want everything with you Arizona, everything. I want to have your children, call you my wife… grow really old together. I wanted to start planning for our next baby Arizona…"

"I- -" She carefully considered her words while still trying to process the declaration that had just fallen from her heartbroken love. "You haven't said anything. We could've…"

"Podríamos qué? Yo pensé que las cosas eran buenas. Nos comprometimos, hemos comprado una casa... Pero tu no me hablas en semanas. Nos apenas dormimos en la misma cama. Llegas a la casa borracha y apestosas de humos de escape ... Tendríamos que mudarnos hace tres semanas Arizona. Pero sigues diciendo que la casa no está lista. Y ahora yo soy aquí a preguntarme, ¿es la casa que no está lista o tu no estás lista?" [We could've what? I thought that things were good. We got engaged, we bought a house… But then you haven't talked to me in weeks. We barely sleep in the same bed. You come home drunk and smelling like exhaust fumes… We were supposed to move three weeks ago Arizona. But you keep saying the house isn't ready. And now I'm left wondering, is it that the house isn't ready or you aren't ready?] Callie shot up from her seat on the couch. She needed space. All of the things that she'd been holding in were finally being freed, and she needed space, unsure of the answer that she would receive. "Nos comprometimos muy rápido después de que te dispararon. Quizás no estás lista, quizás eran sólo las emociones ... Qui- -quiz ... quizás es solo que no estás lista." [We got engaged really fast after you were shot. Maybe you aren't ready, maybe it was just the emotions… Ma- -may… maybe you just aren't ready.] Her words began to break as sobs began to build up in her body. With each statement it was like realization set in. Maybe Arizona really wasn't ready.

"Callie, no." Arizona knew she was taking a chance by standing in front of the pacing woman. But the sight of heartbreak that had just registered in olive features nearly broke the blonde. A little bit her feelings were hurt as she heard the words spoken. How could Callie think she wasn't ready? Did she really think Arizona was regretting their engagement?

The distraught brunette fought against the arms that attempted to wrap around her. But she didn't want Arizona to comfort her right now… Or did she? It was all too much. She was overwhelmed. "Tu no estás acostumbrada a esto ... Te apuré, y tu no estas lista-" [You're not used to this… I rushed you, and you weren't ready-]

"Calliope stop!" Pale hands enforced their grip on the sleeves of the unbuttoned jean shirt effectively halting the brunette's movements. "Stop talking, please." Porcelain features were tinged in a furious shade of pink, emotions barely holding together. She just needed Callie to stop talking so she could tell her how wrong she was.

"Siempre hago eso ... me enamoro muy rapido y salto ciertos pasos-" [I always do this… I fall too fast and jump the gun-]

Placing a hand over the plump lips that just wouldn't stop, finally the blonde had a moment to start talking. "I'm ready Calliope, for all of it, I'm ready. It's not too much, and it's not too fast." She rushed out in attempt to get the other woman to listen to her. Once she'd rushed through these words and realized she had Callie's attention, she pushed forward. "I'm so sorry. I am so, so very sorry. I made such a mess of things lately." Dark eyes began to soften slightly at the words. "Can we please sit down and talk? Please? And maybe in English?"

Callie was a little weary to move with the hand still over her mouth, tears continued to stream from dark eyes. Removing her hand from her lover's mouth, thimble fingers wiped at the tears that continued to trickle down tan cheeks. Nodding her response, Callie followed after Arizona to sit on the couch.

"I have been horrible. God, I'm such a mess right now." Arizona started as they sat, clasping two olive hands between her own she continued. "I- -I, I'm so- -so very sorry Calliope. You are the love of my life, and I really do want it all with you." She swiped at the stream that continued from red stained eyes. "I'm not doing this right… Can we- can we go for a ride?" She could see the questioning in her fiancé's features.

Inhaling deeply, her breath was released very slowly. She'd said so much, aired her concerns, and Arizona wasn't saying anything. "You know what… I think I'm going to go to Miami for a while." Chocolate orbs stayed focused on her hands, barely speaking above a whisper. She wasn't even sure if she was saying the words. "You can see Sofia whenever you want. I would never keep her away from you. We just… we need some time apart maybe?"

Shock. Utter shock, was all she felt at the words that were being spoken. "No." Blonde tresses shook vigorously. "No, Callie. No." Arizona pled. "Calliope, please. Just give me a chance, please? You're not ending this. Y- -you can't." Immediate tears sprung to blue eyes in a downpour. Matching tears painfully poured from her lover. It was obvious this wasn't what either of them really wanted. "Just please, go for a ride with me… please! If you still want space, or time apart after we go for a ride… as much as it will kill me, I will… I will let you go. Just please, Calliope, please?"

Arizona didn't want to push her fiancé too far. She did this, it was her actions that caused them to get to this place and it was up to her to fix it. Callie was thinking about the offer from her pleading lover. She didn't want space; she didn't really want to go away from her lover. No, she wanted for them to get back to, well… them. "Okay."

That was all she needed to hear. Intertwining their hands together, Arizona jumped to her feet with the brunette in tow. Car keys in hand, the two women made it to Callie's SUV. The ride was silent, neither woman daring to speak. Moving the car through the streets, the blonde maneuvered smoothly with the lack of traffic on the road. Though her mind more so resembled the game 'traffic jam' as she attempted to figure her moves. Her leg bounced nervously as she pulled up to their destination a quick fifteen minutes later.

In the passenger seat dark eyes had been glued to the passing by of the outside world. Though she barely noticed a single landmark. Her thoughts were too far gone. The gentle caressing of her hand pulled the brunette from her musings. Looking around she became familiar with her surroundings, knowing exactly where they were. "Wh- -Arizona, why are we here?" A single tear journeyed down a caramel cheek before she swiped it away quickly.

"Come in, I want to show you something." Arizona knew she was kind of asking a lot of her fiancé in the trust department, but she knew if she could just get the woman inside it would all be worth it.

Callie climbed from her seat in the car, following the hand that was gripped around her own. This wasn't just any grip that was latched unto her own. There was pure desperation housed in the strong grasp.

Stepping up to the door, Callie noted 'Torres' emblazoned just above the doorway. Through the entryway the brunette was greeted by a scene she wasn't prepared for. Hanging from the ceiling was a chandelier… but not just any chandelier. This one looked exactly like the one that hung in her childhood home, just a little smaller.

Arizona could tell the words were stuck on the other woman's tongue. "It just came in on Tuesday. Is it right?"

"Why?"

"Every time you walk through that front door I want you to feel that same love and comfort you felt when you would walk into your parent's house. Whenever you see that, I hope you feel a gentle reminder of your parents and their love. That night when you showed me the picture of your family in the foyer, you were in such awe of that chandelier. I wanted to give a little of that back to you." She held onto the soft hand as she spoke, using her free hand to wipe at the fresh tears that sprung from dark eyes that she loved so much. "There's more."

Gently pulling the taller woman forward, the two women walked through the house. There was new carpet, every room had a fresh coat of paint, wood trimmings had been replaced. All of the furnishing to turn a house into a home had been implanted.

Climbing up the now carpeted stairs, Sofia's room was much the same as it had been decorated before. But now there was a wall to wall, floor to ceiling mural of the perfect Disney mashup. Traveling up and down the hall each open door showed a welcomed sleeping space for any potential guests. Except for one. The walls of this room now hosted a gentle green pastel, but no furniture. "I thought we would save this one for a nursery one day."

Callie moved her lips in preparation to speak, but was hushed with a finger over her lips.

"Not yet. Just, let me finish showing you around please."

Next was the master suite. Similar to the bed in Miami was a California King size bed pushed up against one wall. Encrusted in the top of the headboard was the word "love". Dark eyes danced over the letters, before moving over to the fluffy throw carpet that lay in front of the fireplace. Momentarily allowing her mind to drift, she was sure that carpet was perfect for times that they could've made love in front of the fireplace. Across the room the patio doors were open to reveal a table with two chairs positioned to look out over the expansive backyard. Around the room were more pictures of their family, some were candid shots that Callie hadn't even seen before, matched with furnishings to make the space the perfect mix between the two women.

Blue eyes watched some of the light filter back into the dark orbs of her lover. But she couldn't let her get caught up in this room, there was one more surprise she had in store. Stepping into the bathroom now Callie was truly in awe. There was a fireplace situated just on the other side of the bathtub.

"Callie."

"Hmm?" There was a bit of trepidation in the shorter woman as dark eyes turned to her.

"Please don't run." Arizona took a tentative step closer to her fiancé. "It's all been awful. I've been awful. But I'm starting to really feel like myself again. And I know that not everything can be about me getting shot all the time, and I can't keep jumping on my bike slipping into my dark place. I can't lose you." Their eyes locked. Love dancing back and forth between the open space. "So please… don't run."

"When did you do all of this?"

"I've been working on it all along. I wanted to surprise you." Callie was blown away with every detail of their new home. She thought that Arizona would buy a few beds and couches, a dining table and some chairs. But the care that she'd taken with every single detail was spectacular. "I know it wasn't ready when I thought, and maybe I should've clued you in a little sooner. But, I'm ready… I am. This life is nothing like I planned for myself. It's better. I've learned that before you and Sofia, I wasn't actually living. There were things that were missing. And I've learned that I don't need much. I don't need much to be happy. But I do need you… and I need Sofia." Arizona took another tentative step closer. "And I hope that now that I've pulled my head out of my ass, I didn't make you give up on me." A small sob pushed out of slender lips. "I am so head over heels in love with you Calliope. And I can't wait to make you my wife."

Instead of words, Callie did the only thing she could. She stepped forward, engulfing the shorter woman mashing their lips together. The need for air was forgotten, tongues dueled for dominance as teeth smashed together.

Breaking the kiss, Callie finally spoke up. "I'm not going to run. But we still have a lot that we have to talk about. This has been bad, the worst. And I never want to go through another patch like this again."

"We will talk. And, I'm going to go back to therapy. I need it."

That confirmed just as she'd thought, Arizona hadn't been going to her therapy appointments. But she was grateful for the assurance that her lover would be returning.

"We're going to be okay." Callie leaned forward, touching her forehead to her lover's.

"Welcome home baby."

"So, you want to have a baby?"

XxxxxxxX

So? What did you think? I hope you liked it… let me know?

**I would be remiss not to give the greatest shoutout to Melvilla, who is responsible for the correct translation of Callie's Spanish rant. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

AN: As always, I am grateful to every one of you that are going on this ride with me. I am in awe of every single fav, follow, and especially your reviews. You guys are absolutely amazing, and I love reading every one of them.

Next: Callie and Arizona need a little fluff and fun

xoxo