Unfortunately not (And I quote) Amy's journey to deciding he's gay, part 3. Cause I couldn't really think of it yet... Anyway, I had noticed that this Doctor Who fanfic hasn't actually had the Doctor in in a while. So this chapter rectifies that.

Also, at the behest of a certain reviewer, a fez.

And since I haven't said it in a while, I don't own Doctor Who.

Talks

Rory was laying on his bed, listening to exceptionally loud music and trying desperately to concentrate on his homework, instead of the snogging session he had just finished up with Amy.

It was hard.

A knock came from his door. Slowly, Rory got up and opened his door. It was his mother, holding a cup of tea and wearing her "Sit down, we're having a discussion" smile.

This couldn't end well, but Rory did so, taking a sip of tea as his mother sat next to him.

"Rory…"

Oh no.

"Rory, I know how you've been seeing that Amy girl recently…"

Oh noooo.

"And we need to discuss safe sex"

God. Damn. It.

"Mum, we've already heard all of-"

"Well, I think it'd be best if I went over it with you, one more time"

"Sure…"

Rory stumbled vaguely in the direction of Amy's house, mind in a daze. He never wanted to hear his mother say the word penis again. Ever.

He arrived at Amy's house and, forgoing the door, decided to scale the side of her house to her bedroom.

Ten minutes later, Rory was knocking on Amy's front door. After a few seconds and a few scrambling noises from inside the door was wrenched open by Amy. Who was wearing only a shirt and (Presumable) knickers. Rory tried to take this in before Amy grabbed him and dragged him inside, shushing him and slamming the door. A shout came from the dining room.

"Amy, who was that?" It was Amy's mother.

"Paper boy!" she replied, beginning to pull him upstairs.

"Why did he knock?"

"He wanted to flirt"

"What did you say?"

"You weren't in"

"Ha" came the sarcastic response, followed by what sounded like hushed conversation.

They reached Amy's room and Rory was unceremoniously shoved inside.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, looking somewhere between miffed and amused (Mamused?).

"I got the talk"

Amy's facial expression changed instantly. From mamusement to sympathy. She pulled him onto the bed, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around him.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" she asked. He shook his head in an empathetic no. She sat next to him, wrapping a consoling arm around him and cooing softly.

"My mother said penis in front of me" he said, eyes wide, staring blankly into the distance.

"Oh Rory" Amy said, kissing him on the check. "Want me to make it feel better?" she asked. He started to grin.

"Yes indeed" he said.

Before he knew it he was lying on his back, being snogged by Amy and wondering if her door was locked…

Then there was a knock, and he was being shoved into the closet. Amy looked into his eyes, placing a small kiss on his lips, followed by her finger, hushing him, before closing the closet and (Presumably) opening her door.

"Hi honey"

"Hi mum. What do you want?"

"Well, we know you've been seeing a lot of that Rory boy lately…"

Rory could only imagine that the look on Amy's face matched his own, and that the thoughts running through their heads were one and the same.

Oh crap.

They both sat, traumatized, on the bed.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that" Amy said, taking a sip of the tea her mother had so kindly left her.

"So am I"

Rory walked into the living area, slamming his sword down and throwing himself into the nearest chair. Only then did he notice the Doctor, who had one eye on the sword and one eye on his newly acquired fez. The Doctor was grinning like a five year old. Or at least, had been, until Rory had sat down. He was probably expecting a talk on how messing with Rory's daughter would lead to multiple regenerations happening very quickly.

Well, now that he was here…

"Hey Rory" the Doctor said, his usual childlike excitement covering up his obvious fear of being disembowelled. "Check it out. I got a fez!"

"That's nice Doctor" Rory replied, leaning forward, letting one hand rest on the sword.

"So, now we know"

"Yes, I'm sorry Rory-"

"No, that's OK. Kind of. Not really. But it isn't killing me anymore. I grew up with her, in a messed up kind of way" Rory said.

"So what did you want to-"

"Doctor. River is my… my daughter. And as such, I think I should make a few things clear"

"OK"

"First things first. She is my daughter. Be aware, I have a sword"

"I am…" The Doctor gulped "Very aware"

"Good. And as someone of your awareness should be aware, I don't take kindly to my family being hurt"

"Yes… Yes I am Rory"

"Good. If my daughter gets killed on one of your stupid adventures, or she gets injure because of you, or, god forbid, you hurt her, you and I will have words. Doctor. Am I clear?"

"Yes"

"Good. Do you want to see a picture of my favourite car?"

"Why does the Doctor look afraid to come near you?" Amy asked nonchalantly, laying on their bed and looking up at the ceiling.

"We had a discussion" Rory answered, equally nonchalant.

"About what?"

"River"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

He couldn't tell them. Not that. Not that he'd already seen her die. He knew. He knew how it ended. She died to save him. Like they always did.

How could he tell them that? They were Amy and Rory, his two (Current) closest friends.

How do you tell someone you know how their daughter dies? How do you tell them that it's your fault?

The Doctor carefully and precisely removed the fez from his head, looked it over and threw out of the TARDIS doors.

That hadn't helped.

Yeah, like the fez would live.

And yeah, please fav, alert and review.