I own nothing.
Once again, Fran worked her magic on this chapter. My words look so much better when she's finished with them.
No one correctly guessed the baby's name! There were several that I considered, but in the end, I went with a name that was popular in the late 1890's rather than a 'fandom' favorite for Edward and Bella's kids.
Enjoy!
Our daughter was perfect. Her precious little face was chubby and she had the sweetest button of a nose. Her tiny pink mouth was always in motion, sucking on her fists, Edward's fingertip or even her own bottom lip if nothing else was available. Her skin was like silk and she had the loveliest dusting of golden brown hair on her perfectly round head.
She was beautiful, and I couldn't get enough of her. In the hours since her birth, Edward and I could hardly do anything but marvel at this glorious little girl that had come screaming into our lives.
That was exactly how she arrived.
Screaming.
In the few still moments right after she was born, she was quiet, taking in her surroundings and I suppose, being overwhelmed by the new world around her. However, once the screaming began, it didn't stop for hours. Edward had assured me it was all right for her to cry as he took care of me physically. There were so many things that Alice hadn't prepared me for when it came to the birthing process. But then, we both assumed there would be plenty of time before I would need to know the more gruesome details. It had been shocking, to say the least, to learn that more than a baby would come out of my body.
Edward was supportive and kind, however, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed at him having to care for me in such a way.
"What is that?"
"It's the afterbirth. It was part of what surrounded the baby while she grew. Don't be alarmed, Bella, it's supposed to leave your body along with the baby."
"I didn't know. I'm sorry." I whispered as I looked back at my daughter who was lying on the bed, tucked snugly against my side for warmth. Her little eyes were tightly shut and her face red from crying. For the moment, she seemed calmed by her tiny fist as she sucked on it furiously.
"Don't be sorry, Sweetheart. It's just your body doing what it's supposed to do. This is a normal part of childbirth and it doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, now that I've had the joy of bringing my own child into the world, I don't know that I can allow Alice to have the privilege when we have another."
"It truly wasn't repulsive to you?"
Edward shook his head as he placed clean linen cloths against me and drew my knees together to hold it in place. "Repulsive? No. Far from it." He shifted forward and lifted our daughter into his arms. "Bella, do you realize that no one but you and I have ever touched this little girl? She went from the cradle of your body directly into my arms. How could I ever find that repulsive? You gave me a precious gift when you allowed me to do this for you."
0I had to laugh at his view of the situation. I saw it much more practically. "I had no other option, Edward. You were the only person here."
He grinned proudly as he settled on the bed beside me and placed the baby in my arms. "Well, I consider that my good fortune."
***HCA***
"There's nothing there for you, my little bee. You'll have to make a fuss and wake Mama."
Edward's quiet shushing and gentle whispers were barely heard above the crackling of the fire and the wind howling outside, but I could hardly sleep. Who would have thought that such a tiny baby could make such constant sound? If she wasn't fussing, she was squeaking or grunting. And every single sound held our attention as though it were a symphony played for our own enjoyment.
I opened my eyes to find Edward facing me, the baby tucked between us in the bed. She was sucking the tip of his finger, both little hands fisted against her cheeks.
"I think she's hungry." Edward offered a small, encouraging smile as I frowned and nodded. I had attempted to nurse her several times throughout the night and into the next morning. It was nearly mid-day and neither of us seemed to improve at the task.
I sat up carefully, my body still sore and tired, and pulled at the ties on my nightdress. Once I was exposed, Edward placed her in my arms and shifted closer to wrap an arm around my shoulders. The baby was quick to root and find the nipple, but her jaws were strong and the sucking was painful. I swallowed hard and tried to relax, waiting for some indication that I was doing it properly.
"I don't think this is working. What if I can't feed her?"
"Well, sometimes it just doesn't work. But I think you need to remember that this is new to both of you. She's trying to figure it out just as you are. Be patient, and we'll hope for the best."
"But how will I know if it's the best thing for her? I don't see any milk. Is she getting anything at all for all the pain it's causing? Am I starving her?"
Edward was quick to recognize my growing panic. Unfortunately, there was precious little he knew about nursing a baby and couldn't offer me anything aside from what I already knew. Instead, he tightened his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head, encouraging me by reminding me that at least she wasn't crying.
I hoped that was a good sign.
On the morning of the third day after our daughter was born, Edward insisted we decide on her name. We had been surprised that she was, in fact, a little girl. We'd both thought of her as a boy for so long that we were having a terrible time choosing a fitting name for such a delicate little beauty.
Finally, after much disagreement, we'd narrowed it down to three names and Edward insisted that he would be pleased with any of them. When I stared down into her slumbering face, one simply stood out and I recognized it immediately. I informed Edward, who then declared that her middle name must begin with an I.
"There are no good names that begin with that letter!"
"Nonsense. Isabella begins with an I, and since you've chosen a name that will give her my initial, I want her name to also carry yours."
That wasn't at all why I'd chosen her name, but he wasn't to be deterred. I had only one compromise to keep her middle name from being Inga or Irene or some other name that seemed much too matronly for our little angel.
"Fine, you can use my initial, but it must be a B for Bella."
Edward smiled triumphantly and reached for the baby. I lifted her toward him as we heard the sound of a carriage for the first time in days. Stopping his motion in mid-reach, he took a step toward the window and heaved a sigh of relief.
"It's Jasper and Alice."
I could have wept for the joy of it when I realized that they'd come to us. Alice would have no idea that I had delivered and I could hardly wait to present my precious little one to our dearest friends. The wide, proud grin on Edward's face told me he was looking forward to it as well. He placed a quick kiss to my forehead, and then he was gone. I could hear him rapidly bounding down the stairs and unlocking the door.
Their voices were jovial and seemed loud in our home that had been so still and quiet for the last few days. As I heard them ascending the stairs, I pulled the baby closer, relishing the last few moments that she would be only ours.
With a flourish, the door swung open and I watched as Alice's eyes went immediately to the bed. I was sure that she had assumed I was ill when Edward brought them up to the bedroom.
"Alice," I called softly, but she heard and her head snapped toward the right side of the room where I sat, gently rocking our daughter near the fire.
Her eyes grew wide and both hands covered her mouth. Her cheeks rounded beneath her fingertips, and I knew she was smiling at the sight before her.
"When?" she asked at the same moment that Jasper barked out a laugh and slapped Edward on the back.
"I'll be damned. Well done, Doc."
Edward's cheeks flushed as he lifted the soft blanket away from our baby's head. Her golden-brown hair looked as though it was ablaze in the reflection of the fire. "We'd like you to meet our daughter, Eleanor Belle Cullen."
"Oh, Bella." Alice was clearly in awe of the sight. "She's darling."
"She's a beauty, Doc. Congratulations."
"Thank you. I couldn't be prouder of her, or my Bella." Edward was practically beaming, but his eyes held a bit of panic as he watched Alice lift Eleanor from my arms. When he took a step forward and reached out to offer a steadying hand, Alice shook her head.
"Don't you dare, Edward Cullen. I've delivered more babies than you've held in your lifetime." Her words were firm but lost their bite because she said them in a sweet, sing-song manner, as though she were speaking to Eleanor. Edward stepped back, his hands held up in surrender as his cheeks reddened.
Alice giggled softly and turned to Edward, "Here, take your child and my husband and go unpack that basket we brought." She kissed Eleanor's cheek and then passed her to Edward before turning back to me. "I'd like to examine my patient and answer the thousands of questions I'm sure are coming my way."
Edward smiled softly at me, mouthing the words, "Love you" before looking back down at the baby. "Come on, Ellie Belle, let's take a walk."
"Ellie Belle?" I questioned.
Edward offered a cheeky grin and a shrug. "She'll grow into Eleanor, but she can always be my Ellie Belle. You chose it, remember."
Edward closed the door behind him and Alice spent the next twenty minutes making sure that everything was as it should be following the birth. Her repeated apologies for not having fully prepared me for what to expect were unnecessary and I told her so. Neither of us had anticipated either the sudden ice storm or the early appearance of my baby girl.
When she was satisfied that my body was healing as it should, I shifted carefully, mindful of the soreness, and settled against the headboard of the bed. The right side of my robe pulled tight across my breast and I hissed at the discomfort.
"How uncomfortable are you?" Alice gestured toward my hand that was pulling the soft cotton away from my body.
"It's been bearable, but today," I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. "Today, I can hardly stand to even hold Eleanor against my body. It's so painful, Alice. I don't think I can do this. I don't even think there's anything in there for her."
Alice smiled sadly as she reached for the ties on my nightdress. "May I?" At my nod, she pulled the fabric aside to reveal my left breast. "Oh, dear. You're very swollen, Bella. How often are you nursing today?"
"She fusses whenever she wakes up and I try to nurse her, but she pulls off and cries. I don't think she's getting anything. Am I starving her?"
"Oh, Bella. No, you're doing so well. The milk doesn't come in for a couple of days after birth. You're very full and swollen, which sometimes happens with first babies. We just need to get some of the swelling down and get out some of the milk."
She had draped my robe over my chest and risen from the bed. "I'll be right back. You just relax and we'll get you right as rain." She left the room and I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and slowly, willing my body to relax. I had just begun to doze when I heard the door open slowly. I opened my eyes to see Edward walking toward me with Eleanor in his arms, followed by Alice, who carefully carried a bowl in her hands. As she placed it on the table beside me, I noticed it was full of water, ice and a couple of cloths.
"All right, this will be uncomfortable for both of you, but I need you to trust me." Alice continued giving instructions as she pulled my robe open once again. "Edward, come sit beside Bella. Wake the baby and lay her between the two of you on the bed."
Edward did as she asked and, as expected, Eleanor began to cry. Alice smiled and assured me that once my body was able, it would respond to Eleanor's cries by allowing the milk to flow. I watched as she wrapped the icy cold cloths around my breasts, and almost laughed as Edward's eyes widened at Alice's treatment.
"We have to get some of the swelling down. Does it feel cold, Bella?" Alice looked expectantly at me.
"Umm … no, not really." I was surprised that I didn't feel it. It felt cool against my skin, but not the severe cold I had expected.
"It will. Just give it a few minutes."
It was almost twenty minutes later, after Alice had repeatedly wrapped the cloths around me, that I couldn't stand the cold for more than a few seconds. She tossed the cloths into the bowl and reached for the baby, placing her across my lap and encouraging me to hold her there.
"Edward, I need you to do exactly as I say." She glanced at him, waiting for his nod of assent which he gave immediately. "Take her nipple into your mouth and suck very gently. As soon as you taste the milk, help her get Eleanor to her breast. I'll step out because this will be rather intimate, and you can let me know once the baby is settled. I'll come back to make sure the suction is right.
"I don't …. Uh. Bella?" Edward's eyes bounced between Alice, my exposed breasts, and my face. His look of stunned uncertainty would have been amusing had I not felt so vulnerable at that moment.
I shrugged, not wanting to ask him to do something he was clearly uncomfortable with, but feeling hopeful at the same time. However, Alice wasn't as patient with his reservations.
"Edward, don't overthink this. You're not seducing her, you're helping her feed your child. Now, remember, be gentle." With that admonition, Alice stepped through the door and shut it soundly behind her.
The room was silent as I watched my husband war with his own thoughts. I knew the moment he had decided when his eyes dropped from my bare breasts to the crying infant in my lap. When he glanced back up at me, his eyes were determined. He reached across me and planted his hand beside my hip and leaned forward, settling himself over me while being mindful of Eleanor, who still lay fussing in my lap.
I could feel his warm breath on my skin as he reached up with his free hand and cupped my breast, lifting it gently and placing his mouth over the nipple. I heard his hard swallow as his lips closed and he began to draw softly. Within seconds, I felt a tingling and then Edward jumped, his hand holding my breast as we worked together to lift Eleanor. It seemed her instincts led her immediately to respond and she opened her mouth wider than I thought she was able and sucked the entire nipple into her little mouth. Edward and I both laughed softly at the loud gulping sounds she made, as well as the milk that dribbled from the corner of her mouth as she nursed.
Edward shifted his position once again, settling beside me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders to pull me close. His fingers stroked down my breast, across Ellie's cheek and wrapped around her head, holding us both to him. "So beautiful," He whispered. "I don't think I've ever known a more beautiful or peaceful moment. I love you, Bella." He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and I leaned against his shoulder, feeling more relaxed than I had in days.
Edward softly called for Alice, apparently unwilling to leave us to retrieve her. The smile on her face was one of joy as she entered the room. Her eyes were quick to study the positioning of the baby and she nodded her approval, holding up a glass of water.
"Be sure to drink it all." She glanced at Edward, "She'll need more. At least one full glass every time she nurses." Placing the glass on the nightstand, Alice stepped back and continued to speak softly as she pulled the quilts up over the three of us. "When the sucking slows, be sure to burp her and then offer her the other side. I'm going to start supper, and Jasper has gone to get Pops so the house will be quiet for a bit. The two of you should get some sleep while you can."
With a wink, she left the room, closing the door behind her. We followed her instructions, and when Eleanor was finally sated and sleeping soundly, Edward pulled me into his arms and we fell into the best sleep we'd had in days.
Three hours later, after I'd made my way, albeit slowly, down the stairs for the first time since giving birth, we introduced our daughter to her grandfather for the first time. Pops wore a proud smile even as a few tears escaped his eyes. Much to Edward's dismay, he refused to relinquish her to anyone once he had her in his arms, singing softly as he gently rocked from side to side.
I felt a sudden surge of sadness at the realization that my own father would never see his granddaughter. I swallowed hard, desperate to keep the emotions at bay. Edward, ever the doting husband and new father, grasped my hand in his own, squeezing gently and pulling me close, offering comfort while allowing me to lean on him. Pressing a kiss to my cheek, he whispered, "As soon as spring comes, we'll take her to meet Charles. And when she's old enough, she'll know the story of her brave, selfless grandfather."
Our meal was full of laughter and joy. Jasper shared news from town and about how Jackson had formed a strong attachment to Victoria. They had left him in her care while coming to check on Edward and me, knowing that the bitter cold wind wouldn't be good for him. Pops then informed us that he had recently received a letter from Emmett and Rose stating that they were planning to visit in the spring and were looking forward to meeting the newest little Cullen.
After supper, Alice refused my help with the clean up. She insisted that I nurse the baby once more so that she could be certain that I was comfortable with it before she headed home for the night. Pops and Jasper helped Edward see to a few things that had been left undone in the last couple of days since our daughter arrived. By the time the sun was setting, they had all left for their own homes, hoping to be settled in for the night before the temperature had dropped too far.
When Edward came in from settling the livestock for the night, he caught me yawning and rubbing my eyes. He huffed a laugh as he warmed his hands by the fire.
"Time for bed?"
I nodded as I watched him rub his hands together and then lift the baby from her cradle. "I can't believe I'm still so tired after having that nap this afternoon."
He sat beside me, smiling softly at our little girl and lifting my hand to his lips for a kiss. "She's sleeping now, so you should rest, too."
I laid my head on his shoulder and stroked a finger across her tiny, pink cheek. "Now that Ellie's tummy is full, she'll sleep better."
"Ellie?" I glanced up to see Edward's knowing grin.
I shrugged and grinned back at him. "It suits her."
His smile was breathtaking as he stood and shifted Ellie into his left arm, holding his right hand out to me. "Come then, let me put my girls to bed."