Disclaimer: I never claimed I owned anything… I swear! NOTHING!
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"Watcha doin'?"
"Paperwork."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because I gotta."
"Why?"
"…"
"Roy?"
"Ed?"
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"Are you mimicking me?"
"Are you mimicking me?"
"STOP IT!"
"Stop it."
"You didn't yell."
"You didn't yell." Copied Roy.
"Shup."
"…"
"…"
"What the hell is 'shup'?"
"I was too lazy to say 'shut up', so I said the short version, 'shup', instead."
"Why?"
"Because it's easier, Bastard."
"How so?"
"I don't gotta say two syllables."
"Why?"
"Because it's only one." Answered Ed.
"What?"
"Shup."
"I've already been to the mall."
"…"
"I've already been to the mall."
"What the hell are you-"
"I've already been to the mall."
"What?"
"AND IT SUCKED!" Sang Roy.
"So… wait, what? I'm so confused."
"Shoes."
"NO NOT THAT SONG!" Ed covered his ears.
"Come on loser, we're going shopping."
"How would that be funny?"
"What?"
"OH! I got it. We can go in, try on EVERYTHING, and buy NOTHING!!! Muhuhahaha!"
"…"
"What?"
"I just discovered my nails."
"Are you cereal?"
"Lucky charms."
"Whoa."
"Yeah." Stated Roy.
"So… Watcha gonna do with all that junk?"
"What junk?"
"All that junk up in your trunk!"
"Shup, Ed!"
"J.K, J.K!"
"O.M.G., Ed, L.O.L"
"B.R.B"
"K."
"…---flush---…"
"W.B."
"What?"
"Welcome back."
"Oh. Thanks, Roy."
"Shrimp."
"Bastard."
"Shorty."
"Pervert."
"Shup."
"HA! I'm a winner."
"A wiener?"
"What?"
"Oscar Mayer."
"Huh?"
"Oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener…"
"Oh that is what I truly wish to be…" Ed joined in.
"For if I was an Oscar Mayer wiener…."
"Everyone would be in love with me!"
"My bologna has a first name." continued Roy.
"It's O-S-C-A-R!"
"My bologna has a second name."
"It's M-A-Y-E-R!"
"OOOOOOOHHHH, I love to eat it every day."
"And if you ask me why I'll SAAAYYY…..!"
"'cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!" Roy spelt out.
"Boo you whore."
"WHAT?"
"Mean Girls, dumbass."
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood."
"I didn't even touch you, Mustang."
"You can look, but touchin's gonna cost ya."
"…"
"…"
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
"What?"
"It's all inside. JC Penny."
"My imaginary friend thinks you're insane, Ed."
"Yay for it, but I got bigger chickens to fry."
"Where?"
"KFC."
"...---gasp!---…"
"What?"
"THEY TORTURE THEIR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY KILL THEM BY CHOPPING OFF THEIR BEAKS AND CLIPPING THEIR WINGS OFF!"
"…Oh… I should quit."
"You work there?"
"No, I meant you."
"I work there?" Roy asked.
"No, I just…"
"What?"
"I wish I knew how to quit you!"
"…aw?"
"Hey… wanna hear a 'your mamma' joke?"
"Do I got a choice?"
"No."
"Yes."
"I said no!" yelled Ed.
"I was answering the first question!"
"OH OKAY THEN!"
"Go on with it."
"Okay… your mamma's so fat… the horse on her shirt is real."
"SHUP! ...---punches Ed---…"
"OW!!! Not nice."
"You had a spider on you."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EEEEEWWW!"
"I got it."
"I don't believe you!" Ed cried.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why what who?"
"Huh?"
"Exactly!"
"Pies!"
"Pies?"
"Yes, bring forth the pies!"
"How many?" asked Roy.
"TWENTY THREE!"
"That's not enough for the both of us."
"But I no like even numbers…"
"…fine."
"…so…pie…?"
"DELIVER ME PIE!"
Just then, Hawkeye blasted the door down and stepped in. She glanced at the two men on the floor.
"ARE YOU HIGH?" She screamed.
"Lieutenant, I said pie. Please, after you fetch that, do get your hearing checked."
"I got a check? What I win?" asked Ed from beside the couch.
"You got a check? Lucky little blonde."
"SHUT UP!"
"…"
"Yeah. I went there."
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Just so we're clear, I don't support getting high. CRACK IS WHACK! But it was a good way to end this. It started out super short, but I just kept going, and going, and going with whatever was in my head. PEACE! (Hugs not drugs!)