Ratty
Kenny was sitting in the kitchen with his dad as they ate breakfast. He had restocked the refrigerator recently, so they both sat there, eating a bowl of cereal. Karol refused to cook until ten forty-five, and was upstairs with Karen and Kevin trying to get them to do their chores. Kevin had reluctantly done his, and Karen was throwing a tantrum, as Kenny and his dad heard from the kitchen. Kenny finished his cereal, and got up.
"Where you off to, Kenny?" his dad asked.
"I'm gonna go see about helping mom and Karen." He said as he rinsed his bowl.
"Good luck." Kevin said as he grabbed the cereal up on entering the kitchen.
Kenny heard Kevin and his dad talking and headed up the stairs. Karen was yelling at the top of her lungs, and Karol was trying to get a word in edge wise. But there was no success. Kenny put a hand on Karen's shoulder, and looked at his mom as Karen went silent.
"I'll get her to clean her room." He muttered softly looking at a very red faced Karol McCormick.
"Ah betcha cain't do it, Kinny!" she grumbled. "She's Stuart's daughter." Karol said as she left.
Kenny closed the door.
"Make for the window!" Karen whispered as she tried to get away from her brother.
"I was serious. You are going to clean your room." Kenny said softly as he steered her to the chair at her ratty desk. "Why don't you wanna clean your room, darlin'?" Kenny asked softly.
"Because I hate cleaning." Karen muttered. "I have nothing nice to clean, or keep clean, so what's the point? We aren't as poor as people think, Ken, but still. I have nothing nice, so I don't know why mom's riding my ass about cleaning." Karen said bitterly.
"Okay, images that are gross. Let's not haunt me with them." Kenny said as he rubbed at his eyes. "You don't use that phrase around me, do you hear?" he asked bitterly. "Have you forgotten that if you do this, you'll get to go over to Ruby's place and play with the girls?" he asked softly.
"I don't care. I can just sneak out through the window." Karen said bitterly.
"What would it take, to get you to clean this room?" Kenny asked softly.
"I don't really want it to take anything. I don't wanna do it, period." She said bitterly.
"Karen, here's the deal—"
"—You'll do it for me?" Karen interrupted.
"No, Karen, I will not do it for you." Kenny said bitterly. "I want you, to do it with me." he said as he glared at her.
"Kenny, I can't find anything to motivate me to clean." She muttered. "I just don't wanna do it. Ever."
"Well, what are you going to do when you get your own place?" Kenny asked softly. "Are you just going to let it all pile up?"
"That's different. I'm going to have nice things to clean the house for. Not just ratty clothes, and ratty rats, and all kinds of ratty junk." She muttered as she sat in her chair. "Look, every time I sit in this chair, I get stuffing stuck to my ass from the upholstery." She muttered.
"If Mysterion helps you clean—"
"—I would help him clean!" Karen shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Karen, calm down! Sheesh! It's just me in the suit, you know?" he said bitterly.
"You can do it at super speed, though." She said softly.
"Fine. Let's get to work." He muttered softly.
"It might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say." He started to sing as he directed her to stand by her closet. "But girl this bed, really should be made." He said. In one swift motion, he tossed everything off the bed, and started to make it super-fast. "And these…, shoes need to be, in another place." He said as he tossed Karen all the shoes. She quickly tossed them into a bin in her closet. "Take all of…, these dirty clothes, and go put them away." He coaxed as he gave her a pile of clothes which she tossed in her hamper. "Your room is ratty! Clap along if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room. (Because it's ratty!) Clap along if you know, it's gonna be clean soon. (Cuz it's so ratty!) Clap along if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room! (It's way too ratty!) Clap along if you want, your room to be clean real soon." He was picking up all her trash in the process, and throwing it all into the trash can she held out for him.
"Your garbage can, is to hold your trash." He said as he continued to toss every piece of garbage into the bin she held. "Let's make sure all we've got, makes it in at last." He said as he threw an old pop tart rapper in. "I should probably warn you, this'll hurt my spine." He said as he bent down again and picked up another armful of rappers. "No offense to you, but this trash is mine." he said as he tossed it all in. Karen was giggling now. "Here's why. Your room is, ratty! Clap along, if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room. (It's way too ratty!) Clap along if you know, this will be over soon. (It won't be ratty!) Clap along, if you feel, like I should use a broom. (The broom is Ratty!) Clap along if you know what to do with a ratty broom." He said as he started quickly sweeping. He jumped into the bridge as he started to put all the stuff he was sweeping into a dust pan.
"Can't nothin'…, bring me down. Can't nothin', bring me down. Cuz cleaning's too fun! I'll tell you now!" As he sang, he swept, and every once in a while, tossed all the stuff into the bin Karen held. Suddenly, it was time for the chorus again.
"And here's why! Your room's not ratty! Clap along, if you feel, like you have a cleaner room! (It's not so ratty!) Clap along if you feel, like cleaning is not such gloom! (The room's not ratty!) Clap along if you loved, that you saw me use a broom! (The broom was ratty!) Clap along if you know that cleaning does not bring doom!"
Kenny and Karen grabbed the trash and dirty laundry and sauntered down the hall, and down the stairs into the living room as they got ready to throw away the trash, and give the clothing to Mrs. McCormick to take to the laundry mat. They were both singing the rest of the repeated chorus as they cleaned.
"Well, I'll be." Kevin muttered as he watched. He stared at Kenny and Karen. "He got her to clean her room!" he whispered.
"Now I know the world is about to end." Stu mumbled as he sat down in front of the TV. "Woman!" he shouted at Karol. "Get the Jaws of Life!"