Epilogue I: To Wake, Perchance From Dreams...

"For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called 'here'." ― Ashleigh Brilliant

Saturday, July 18, 1998 – Morning:

Huh? He was in bed?

Damn. How did that happen? Last he remembered, he'd been falling asleep at the Sunnydale Arms and –

Wait. Rewind there a minute, bud. Sunnydale Arms? Where the hell did that come from? The last thing that he remembered, him and Cordelia were sitting back to watch Rio Blanco on her parent's big screen TV. And preparing for another hot make–

Oh, crap. Xander's eyes slitted open. He was lying in Cordelia's bed? As in, Cordelia Chase Cordelia? That one?

Oh, holy mother of Zeus. He was naked, too. Naked in Cordelia Chase's bed... Xander closed his eyes again. He definitely didn't want to lose this dream while he was having it.

Wait, this was a dream? No way. His dreams were never this realistic. Not even the sex dreams... His eyes flew open again, and his hand slowly and carefully eased over across his chest. And touched an arm. And then a shoulder And then long, wavy hair. And then –

Great Mothering Sheba. There was a naked girl lying half onto his chest. Kind of sprawled there, one arm on his chest and her hand on his right shoulder upper body across his with her, uh, breast pressed into him, and one long leg thrown possessively over his.

He looked down. Wow. Long chestnut hair. Nice tan. Nice bit of side boob. Rosary tattoo around that wrist... And a really cute sun-moon thingy tatt–

– He was in bed with a naked Cordelia Chase.

The term 'morning wood' suddenly took on entirely new dimensions. As did his morning wood...

Cordelia shifted slightly, with a little groan, and her inner thigh rubbed across his, uh, yeah. Nnngg! Her lips curled up into a slight smile, and she made little lip smacking sounds as she settled deeper into him. And onto him...

Ok. Wait. There had to be a rational explanation for this. Xander meant other than Cordelia dragging him into her bedroom last night and screwing his brains out. Which, basically, was what his memory kept insisting had happened.

'Good Lord and all the gods,' that Still Small voice in the back of his mind said, 'Pop was right. You are seriously slow in some areas.'

Oh, he was not. Uh... ok, so maybe he was. So what?

'Think about it, dumb ass,' Still Small said. 'I know that's hard, but give it a shot – it may actually work.'

Xander did his level best to ignore the little under the mind's breath comment to the effect of 'It's a long shot, but who knows?' and did just that. Thought about it.

OK. So, yesterday had been the seventeenth, meaning it was now July the Eighteenth, in the morning. Saturday. Nineteen ninety-eight. And Cordelia's parents had been out of town on some business trip or retreat or something since Wednesday, and weren't due back until Tuesday. Meaning that they had the run of the house more or less to themselves...

Actually, pretty much to themselves. The housekeeper and Consuela the maid had long been turning a wink and a blind eye to Xander's habit of coming over to stay for a few days since, oh, a long while now. They actually liked him, even if Cordelia's mother detested his guts. And they thought it was cute...

So. Friday, uh, no Saturday morning, they had the whole four day weekend ahead of them, Jesse, Wendie, and Aura were due ov–

Brain freeze. No. Total brain meltdown.

Jesse? Jesse? Jesse, Wendie, and Aura?

Holy blithering fuck. It all really happened...

All of it. Xander found that his eyes had squeezed tightly shut again at some point. He groaned.

Cordelia smacked her lips again, groaned herself, and shifted. She opened her eyes sleepily and looked up at him, barely raising her head.

"What's the matter? It so can't be time to get up yet," she said.

Her eyes flew wide open, and her mouth dropped. She sat bolt upright. "Wait, Xander? The Hell?"

Xander couldn't have answered that if he'd wanted to. His eyes were riveted to the tantalizing, jiggling, pair of large, luscious brown eyes bobbing and staring at him.

Uh. Wait. Those weren't eyes.

"Oh, jeeze, Dork. They're tits. Get over it. You've seen my tits before. Ok, not often, but... ok, maybe way too often, but – hey! I'm talking to you up here!" Cordelia's voice was growing more and more exasperated. She gasped suddenly. "Oh. My. Gods. Did we have sex?"

There was a rising note of panic in her voice with each word.

Xander made a herculean effort and managed to wrench his gaze from those luscious nipples and wonderful aureoles, and up to meet her eyes. Her real eyes. The gorgeous hazel ones that were suddenly way, way too big for anyone who wasn't an anime character.

"Cordy," Xander managed to croak out, in a kind of a strangled voice –

"Don't you Cordy me!" Cordelia yelled, thumping him a good, solid one upside the head. "You slept with me!"

"Cordy!" Xander tried again...

"Don't yell at me!" Cordelia said, her eyes still huge. "You slept with me!"

"Well, you slept with me!"

"I did not!" she yelled back, apparently completely oblivious to how idiotic that sounded in context...

With yet another Herculean effort, Xander managed to bite back and swallow the "Did too!" that would have started them off on yet another rerun of the Xander and Cordy show, and drew in a deep shuddering breath –

Okay. So they hadn't planned on having sex yet, at least not until Homecoming. And yeah, that was a big deal... both of them were virgins, and sex was as big a deal to teenage girls as it was to teenage guys, maybe even more so. So –

Cordelia had one elegantly manicured, red finger nailed hand over her open mouth, and her eyes were huge. "I can't believe that you slept with me!"

"Gee. You're really fixated on that, huh?"

"Well, yeah – because you slept with me! Jerk!" The wide eyed look began to turn into a wide eyed glare. "Or doesn't the phrase 'we were going to wait' mean anything to you?"

"Cordy," Xander managed to croak out again, still sounding strangled. He got his hands up and took hold of both of hers, bringing them down and clasping them in his larger ones. "I really, really need you to listen to me. Okay?"

For a wonder, she didn't resist his hand holding, and she nodded, her eyes still big and wide.

"It's July the 18th, Cordy. Saturday. Morning."

"Well, duh!" she said, a bit angrily. She tried to yank her hands away. He didn't let her. "And my parents are gone and won't be back until Tuesday. Very good! Want a Scooby snack now?"

"Cordy," he said, in only a slightly less strangled voice than before. She had to listen to him. And, hopefully, not freak out.

Or not have him committed... a very real possibility, he suddenly realized.

"It's Saturday, July the Eighteenth, and later on, Jesse and Wendie are coming over after lunch with Aura so we can all go to the Palisades."

"Well, yeah, and duh! Again," Cordelia said, tossing her hair and starting to sound a bit annoyed. "And we're in bed together and I'm Cordelia and you're Xander and you slept with me!"

Ok. So Cordy seemed to be laser focused in on the important thing here. Except it really wasn't, and he couldn't believe he'd actually just thought that about sex.

"Jesse, Cordy," he said, almost desperately. "McNally."

"Yeah, and? So, what, have you suddenly gone deficient or something? Again?" Cordelia scowled down at him. At least she wasn't trying to yank her hands away again. "He's been dating Wendie ever since – " her eyes got even wider. "And oh my God Jesse is freaking dead! Or like, was. Or..."

"Yeah. Now you're cooking," Xander said. "Cordy. It really freaking happened. All of it."

"Wait, what... ?" he saw the moment when it hit her and it all came crashing in. Impact. Major memory dump in three... two... one... and liftoff!

"Oh. My. God."

Yeppers. We now have total freak out. Houston? We have ignition.

Hey. She seemed to be taking this rather well, all things considered.

For someone who'd been sure she was way too dead tired and exhausted for anything, once they'd gotten upstairs to their room, undressed and fell into bed, it hadn't taken too long for it to start being clear that Cordelia was developing other ideas.

Ideas he could always be counted on to go along with wholeheartedly, as well as whole other partedly.

Maybe she wasn't that tired after all.

She'd been lying half across his chest, head tucked under his chin, one hand playing idly with his chest hair, and a long tanned thigh thrown over his upper thighs. And apparently for all of him, slowly drifting off into a contented sleep. Smiling slightly.

Then that soft inner thigh had begun rubbing over and along him, slowly and lightly... it didn't take long for her to get a major reaction. Things suddenly came up. Very up.

Cordelia smiled like a lazy cat, and worked her hips up and on top of his. And slowly, with a lot of shifting and seriously pleasurable rubbing and false starts, got herself where she wanted, and –

– And suddenly he was surrounded by hot wet Cordelia Chase. Oh, gods...

He looked up into those half lidded hazel eyes, and her smile turned suddenly wicked. "So... " Xander said. "I thought you were too tired for sex?"

"Oh, I dunno," she said. "Must be all those guns making me horny."

"Yup. Must be it."

Slowly and excruciatingly, lying full length along him, her hips straddling him with him seated deeply, and moving nothing but her hips and undulating lower body – she slowly worked both of them up and over until they were gone and he melted into her.

Or maybe she melted into him.

He found that at some point, he no longer knew or cared where he left off, and she began. If they even did.

Just didn't matter.

They came awake the first time dressed and seated in a huge example of the most comfortable reclining arm chair he'd ever sat in his life. Both of them, Cordelia snuggled in next to and alongside of him, one of his arms around her, and one of her hands holding his.

Dressed as they'd been at Cordy's house before they showed up on horseback on a hillside. Cordelia braless in her red bandana top thing, and her stretchy little short skirt and strappy red sandals. Xander wearing a pair of dark cargo pants, running shoes, and one of his least objectionable – to Cordy, anyway – Hawaiian shirts open over a dark green Mountain t-shirt with a gunfighter on it.

They were seated in a large, elegantly appointed gun and game room before a lit fireplace. Game heads were along one wall, and there was a large, seriously nice collection of custom firearms and blades on the other, with framed Remington prints between the sets. No – paintings. Originals, not prints.

There was a tall, broad shouldered, handsome and bearded man sitting across from them. He had a seriously nice, comfortable looking leather arm chair of his own. He was wearing clothing similar to theirs... actually, closer to what Dude had been wearing. Blue shirt, black leather vest, and dark jeans. No Marshall's star, though.

There was a low, dark wood coffee table between their chairs, with a decanter of whiskey, several glasses, and a carafe of coffee and several cups. Along with a bottle of soda and a tray with a wide variety of snacks and hors d'oevoures.

Or orderves. He always managed to mangle the French word. And there were fruits of various types, and things to go with, and small squares of fudge, white, light, and dark chocolate...

"Coffee? Or perhaps whiskey or brandy?" their apparent host said. He had a deep, rich, and melodious voice that sounded like silk and chocolate. "There's also tea, if you'd prefer."

Xander glanced down, and sure enough, there was an elegant looking silver tea service and tray, with cups and a large array of those little cookies Giles liked. He was pretty sure there wasn't before, but what the hey – dream reality.

"No. Not a dream," their host said.

"Oh-kay," Cordelia said. "If it's not a dream, then who are you and where the hell are we? And, hey – even if it is a dream, then who are you and where the hell are we?"

"Direct. And unafraid. I like that," the bearded man said. "All right. You've never met me, but you know of me. Your paramour has met me, in a matter of speaking," he stated. "He knows of me as Janus."

"Uh... wait," Xander said. He blinked. "Shouldn't you be all, like, with the two faces and whatever? And like, nine feet tall or something?"

"Consider this a form you can be comfortable with," Janus said, smiling. "And myself, for that matter. I find it seriously difficult to speak with screaming humans who think they're faced with a giant, multi-faced, multi-headed humanoid abomination."

Xander just had to grin at that. Made perfect sense.

"Besides, that's really not my true form, anyway," Janus said. "That's just a meaningful representation the Greeks and the Romans chose for depicting me, along with being representative of what they saw as my attributes."

"Wait – " Cordelia sat up. She didn't let go of Xander's hand, just switched which one she was holding it with. "So, like, you're responsible for all this? Or, more like, to blame?"

"No. And yes. Sort of," Janus said. "And, no, not really."

"But yes, kinda, huh," Cordelia said. She snorted indelicately, tossing her hair. "And so typical. Why can't one of you supernatural creeps ever give a straight answer to a simple freaking question?"

"Hah!" Janus threw back his head, laughing. He winked at Xander, and said, "I can see why you've been in love with her since you were five or six. She's something else."

"Thanks, and yes, I am," Cordelia said. She flashed a grin over her shoulder at Xander. "And, wait – you have? No, never mind that – " she held her free hand up. "Just answer the damned question, you."

"Ok, I will," Janus said. "But, please, help yourself – no need to let all this go to waste."

Cordelia looked at the table and its contents a bit dubiously. She leaned forward and reached for the carafe, and then hesitated, scowling and looked up at him. "Oh no, I've heard about this. And then a hundred years go by and we wake up with long white beards and everyone we know is dead. No thanks."

"Hah!" Janus laughed, and shook his head. "No, but thank you for playing. Seriously. It's just food and drink. Mortal food and drink, and it's excellent. For one: this isn't faerie – that's three stars down and straight back from yesterday. And for two: I'm not going to offer you nectar and ambrosia, and waters of the Hippocrene, at least not without warning you and telling you the effects and consequences first."

Cordelia frowned still, and then gave a little shrug and picked up the carafe and poured a cup from it, and took a gingerly sip. Wow. It was a thick, glazed, earthenware mug, and just the right size for a perfect cup of coffee. And then her face went surprised, and her expression nearly ecstatic.

Xander wasn't about to let his girlfriend go without him. Whatever happened to her, happened to him too. He took a cup, and picked up a couple of the little tea cookies. And had the same reaction that Cordelia's face had showed... It was coffee – like a blend of Jamaican Blue Mountain and Kenya AA that apparently tasted like fresh brewed coffee smelled. With just a tiny hint of chocolate... Xander added just a small splash of Irish whiskey to his. Perfect.

"Why?" Xander said, raising an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Ok. Or, why not? Why not trick us into drinking the Food of the Gods and all that?"

"Mostly because I'm not an asshole, unlike some of my contemporaries," Janus said, "And because mortals really don't deal well with immortality and godlike powers. Not, at least, without a lot of preparation that you haven't had yet. 'Causes all kinds of trouble, and it's one of the reasons we all agreed to pull back and quit interfering with you guys on a casual basis."

"So, what. You now just interfere with us on a what, not so casual basis?" Cordelia said, settling back in against Xander with her cup, and a bowl of strawberries and chocolate.

"Only when specifically asked. And only within a few rather... strict guidelines. Guidelines that some of us adhere to more than others. Ok." Janus shrugged. "Mostly when you can't get a straight answer it's because the majority of us are addicted to confusing mortals with cryptic and contradictory sounding bullshit. And a lot of us wouldn't know a straight answer if it bit them on the dick," he said. Cordelia laughed, as did Xander. "But in this case, it's because it really is yes and no."

"Ok, so you're going to have to explain that," Xander said, "Before my girlfriend has a flaming meltdown on us."

Cordelia thumped him solidly on the leg, and he grinned at her.

Janus grinned at them both. "All right. As simply put as possible, a certain Chaos Mage of your acquaintance – "

"Ethan fucking Rayne," they both said, looking at each other.

"– Exactly," Janus said. "Rayne cast a doorway and transition spell upon the video tape that you were watching earlier. Or later... time is kind of fluid here. And it would have transitioned you into the world of Rio Blanco, with almost certainly deleterious effects on your health and longevity."

"'Almost certainly deleterious'?" Xander smirked, raising an eyebrow. "You've been taking lessons from Giles?"

Janus arched an eyebrow in return. "Should I put it in baby talk?"

Xander was saved from his own response by a frowning Cordelia... "Wait, huh? Would have?" Cordelia said, blinking. "But it did. We did end up in Movie Land."

"Not exactly. I intervened," Janus stated. "Somewhat anyway. Just enough to give Ethan a major case of what he likes to dish out: be careful what you ask for."

"Oh-kay... " Xander said. He looked blankly at Cordelia, who scowled back at him over her shoulder.

"Simply put, or as simply as it can be put, there is a near infinity of world lines existing in the Sea of Dreams. And your particular world line is not all that far from the cinematic western line that Ethan wished to send you to, and any number of variations on that theme."

"Ok, so... " Cordelia frowned, "You mean there really is a world out there where Dude, John T. Chance, and Elena faced off against a bunch of thugs in a town named Rio Blanco."

"And a world where that movie is only a sequel idea that never got a green light, and never even got to script stage," Janus said, nodding. "And worlds where you and Alexander never saw it. And a near infinity of worlds where the two of you are fictional characters... "

"Wait, stop!" Cordelia held her hand up. "My brain is starting to hurt." Xander nodded, a bit numbly. His was and had been also. And he was even a lot more familiar with the concept of alternate realities and multiple dimensions than Cordy was.

Hey. All of those comic books and all of that sci-fi reading had to come in handy for something...

"Of course," Janus said, nodding. "Suffice it to say... that it wasn't all that difficult to merge a number of those together, along with Sunnydale and your world line of the late 19th century, and come up with the one that Ethan did send you to. And even simpler – for me at least – to enhance your existing skills and attributes, and give you both the appropriate skill sets that you'd need to not only survive, but to thrive there. And the background and information and history that you'd need to make use of all of that."

"Wait - " Xander said. "So you were Little Info Dump Guy and Girl, as well as The Scriptwriter?"

"In a manner of speaking," Janus said, smiling. "Actually, once you were there and everything was prepared and in motion, there was no Scriptwriter. No need for one: you and everyone else wrote your own scripts. And you did marvelously at acting upon them. As for Info Dump Guy and Gal, I merely split off a microscopic fraction of my own Intellectus and gave it to you. You can keep it, by the way," he added, magnanimously.

Xander blinked, and was aware of Cordelia doing the same next to him, as little factoids clicked into place around that. Intellectus. Pure, undiluted, and nearly universal knowledge. The ability to just know things, by thinking about them, and suddenly have the information just flow through you. And now with the new and improved past lives enhancement...

And apparently, in his and Cordy's case, near universal knowledge from a very limited and specific sort of data pool: the lives of their other selves in Rio Blanco World, and all of the information and data required by and pertinent to growing up on a ranch in the 1880's, and on being a shootist and a gunfighter.

And also apparently, Still Small and Very Smart Ass voice in the back of his head was his, not a gift or curse from Janus.

"Gee, thanks. And... Ok, sooo... and I am so really trying to wrap my head around this," Cordelia said. "There really was an us there and an us here? And us there grew up in that world, with Rory and Elena as godparents, while us here grew up in this one?"

"Exactly."

Cordelia squealed and bounced in the chair next to Xander. "I was right! Yes! And we smerged together with us there and became, uh, us both!?"

"Exactly." Janus beamed at her.

"Oh, I do so rock!" Cordelia said. Xander couldn't help but laugh at – and with – her enthusiasm.

"You seriously do, Honey." Xander frowned suddenly, thinking. "Ok, but, wait. If that's so, then what happened to us there?"

"Nothing. They still exist. You still exist." Seeing their blank and dubious expressions, Janus sighed. "You didn't just take over you there's bodies and destroy them or anything. You... became yourselves. Only, more you. You there and you here, are you." He scowled, and said, "It's metaphysical. And complicated. Take my word for it."

"Meaning you don't understand it either," Cordelia said, her voice wry and one eyebrow raised.

"Well, yeah. And no. I do, but explaining it is seriously difficult, even for me." Janus sighed again, "And not because of some overbearing crap that 'you can't understand because it's beyond your mortal mind's grasp' or any such shite. It's because it is really complex, and you two don't have the physics or the metaphysics background and knowledge. Steven Hawking or Carl Sagan would get it in a snap. So would Robert Heinlein, albeit on a different level and from a different perspective."

Janus snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"Let's say I'll buy that for a dollar," Xander said. "Or whatever inflation puts it at now. When you say our world line is not all that far from there, you mean... ?"

"Simple," Janus said. "It isn't. Look," he looked at Cordelia, "Your great great grandmother, in your original reality, was Audra Barkley, right?"

"Right." Cordelia said, frowning. "Audra Barkley-Chase, of the Stockton Barkleys. She married William Randolph Chase the First, and had several kids, including my great grandfather, Morgan Stanley."

"Right. And Audra Barkley is a fictional character on a Western television series called 'Big Valley'," Janus said.

"Huh. Big wha?" Xander said, blinking.

"Exactly. Because in your world line, it isn't. It's history. You're already living in a cinematic world line."

"Stop! Brain so really hurts now," Cordelia said, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'll take your word for it. Just... stop it."

"Captain, she canna take much more 'o this – she's gonna blow!" Xander said in a thick, fake Scottish brogue. He changed his voice slightly to a deeper pitch, and added, "But, Scotty, I like that, in a girl."

Thwap! Cordelia belted him a good solid one, fortunately nowhere damaging, and Xander nearly fell out of the chair laughing.

"Jerk! Pig." Xander held up hand in surrender, still laughing. Ok, so his Shatner impression needed work...

"Yeah, gotta go with Cordy on that. I'll digest all of this later," Xander said, getting himself under control, finally. "So, now, for the sixty-four zillion dollars, why intervene?"

"What Doofus said," Cordelia said. "Why?"

"Because Ethan Rayne likes to forget that I am not a god of Chaos. And because I truly detest the various Powers that were placed in oversight on all of your various world lines once us gods withdrew from daily interaction with mortal affairs, and I detest the things that they are about. And, because I seriously detest Richard Wilkins the First, Second, and Third and saw a really nifty way to poke him and my errant devotee in the eye with a sharp stick at the same time." Janus grinned, and said, "And best of all, no one can say boo to me about it, or about how I went about it, or over who's and what's plans it wrecked, because Ethan and Wilkins called upon me knowingly."

"Snerk. Oh, that is a truly nasty and malevolent smile," Cordelia said. "I like it."

Xander nodded, grinning as well. "Even if it is gained at our expense."

"Ah. Expense, schmensh. You both survived it and handled it superbly." Janus' eyes narrowed, and he added, "And do keep in mind: Rayne and Wilkins wanted you both dead, not triumphant."

Cordelia's mouth opened. She shut it and swallowed hard, before finally saying, "But why, for God's sake? Why us?"

"Because Rayne is a mercenary and an amoral dickhead, and because Wilkins had plans that he saw you as being in a position to threaten if left unchecked. Simple as that." Janus frowned slightly, and shrugged, adding, "And because Wilkins saw the two of you as being the linchpin – and fracture point – to your little group of demon hunters."

"Wait – " Cordelia frowned and held up a hand, beating Xander to it by moments... "Us? What about Giles and the others?"

Janus shrugged again. "A Watcher more than distracted to near uselessness by searching for his lost Slayer? And a barely manifested witch who tends to not yet like taking charge? And her werewolf boyfriend who tends to do what Willow wants and follow her lead? Please," Janus inclined his head toward Xander, "He was the visible leadership, inspiration, and motivator behind taking over the slaying efforts once Summers pulled her disappearing act."

"And Cordy?" Xander's eyebrows went up.

"Would have been furious and inspired to become a thorough pain in Wilkins' butt were you to have suddenly vanished mysteriously, or had you been murdered."

Xander gave his girlfriend a slightly astonished look, to see her nodding with narrowed eyes and a set jaw... Cordelia caught his glance, and shrugged.

"And with her determination and her and her family's resources? A dangerous pain in the ass, once aroused." Janus shrugged again, "Remove the two of you, preferably mysteriously, and the group falls apart. And then the others fall prey to the natural hazards of the Hellmouth in short order, with no Slayer to protect them... "

Swallowing hard, Xander shook his head, closing his eyes briefly. "And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that... you didn't like Wilkins' plans, huh," he said.

"No. I did not. Nor did I like the any of the plans of those self styled Powers there." Janus smiled thinly. "And now they've died aborning, all of them. A rather neat solution, and I do say so myself."

"Oh, wait – so Wilkins was our Wilkins? And his daddy?" When Janus nodded, Cordelia bounced again. "Yes! And she scores twice!"

"Which means that Wilkins plans are... "

"As defunct as Wilkins, yes," Janus said, nodding. "And, nicely done. Ianara, or Ampata as you knew her, doing him in was a sweet touch."

"It would have been safer and simpler all around for Wilkins to just shoot us dead," Cordelia said, "In both realities."

Janus nodded, his eyes twinkling. "Fortunate that your type of bad guys tend to over complicate things, huh?"

"Ok, so why the little discussion meet and debriefing here?" Xander said. "Why not just send us back without any info or memory of it?"

"Call it... an innate sense of fair play, mayhap. I'm not a complete and total jerkoff like some of my contemporaries. Or at least I like to think I'm not."

"Oh, yeah?" Cordelia scowled. "If you're not a dickhead, and you're not a chaos god, then why even answer Rayne? Why not just let him dangle wondering why his spell didn't work?"

Janus shrugged. "I'd say metaphysics again, but you'd probably belt me one. And I'd deserve it." He grinned, and Cordelia couldn't help but grin back – it was that engaging and mischievous of a grin. "A part and parcel of having a polytheistic metaphysical setup. Ethan is a worshiper and devotee of Chaos, and of Tiamat, who's not one of ours really, except she's kind of an immigrant. And when a worshiper calls, even if he's not specifically one of yours, you answer, because you'd want Chaos or Tiamat to fill in for you if one of yours called on them. It's kind of the neighborly thing to do, and it's also a part of the web of connection and obligation that makes the whole thing work, and keeps us from feuding like six year old brats all of the time."

"Instead, you just do it part of the time," Xander said, his voice dry. "I know a little of my mythology."

"Well, yeah," Janus gave that engaging grin again. "Some of us are six year old brats, only with enormous powers and the egos to go with them. And some of us just flat-out can't stand each other, like Hera and Herakles."

"And you do, like, what, exactly?" Cordelia said, frowning slightly.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Janus said. "My dominion is change, mostly. And to a lesser extent, hearth and home. Change and transformation; doors, gateways, thresholds, and crossroads; birth and death – both of which are transformations; beginnings and endings; future and past – hence your recent experiences – youth and maturity; love... because that's the biggest transformation of all; inner and outer; and oh... "

"Chewy and crunchy, chocolate in my peanut butter... " Xander said.

"Vanilla and chocolate; Gucci and Salvation Army," Cordelia added, giving him a mischievous sidelong glance.

"Exactly," Janus said, laughing. "I like the two of you, I really do. In all of the world lines in which your set of personae exist, the two of you are very nearly unique. Always have been, in all of your myriad incarnations and reflections."

"How so?" Cordelia poured herself another coffee, this one with a splash of brandy.

"Well, your mate here is a walking chaos generator. And you are one of the very few people who exist that can't be intimidated. By anything or anyone."

"Oh, please. I'm intimidated all the time. I just don't show it, most of the time."

"No. You are not," Janus said. "Not in the way that most understand the word. You get scared, sure. Who doesn't? But you bounce back and it doesn't stop you. You'll look a god or a demon in the eye and dare them not to back down. Or, oh, act terrified and slice an enormously powerful dark mage across the eye with a hidden knife, knowing you're going to die for it. And not caring, so long as you can take him with."

"That's my girl," Xander said, nodding. "All guts, and beauty and brains."

"And you," Janus said, looking at Xander. He poured himself a large whiskey, and sipped at it. "You unravel the warp and woof of the weaving just by existing. Breaker of Prophecies. Wrecker of destinies. Unraveler of fates. You're the last person that idiot chaos mage should have touched with chaos." He smiled, and added, "And you're connected, both of you, in a way that few are. Always have been, from the very first time you set eyes on each other. You and that Willow girl come close, Xander, just... not quite."

"What, like, soul mates?" Xander said, a bit skeptically.

"Naw. Just... mates. Of the forever and a day kind. None of that soul mates and great, tragic love crap. You're the real thing: two halves of a whole. Apart, you're each a force to be reckoned with. Together... you're a lot more than the sum of yourselves."

"So, what now?" Cordelia said. Janus raised an eyebrow, and she narrowed her eyes at him, and said, "You didn't put us there, and then pull us here just to shoot the breeze, bucko. Or because you're really a nice warm and fuzzy guy under it all. You so want something. Or need something. Spill."

"See what I mean?" Janus said to Xander. "Ok." He turned his attention on Cordelia... and just for a moment, he seemed to swell and grow, and she got just a glimpse of what he was, and what that entailed. And then it was gone, and there was just a handsome and bearded man sitting across from her again.

"You did a great and difficult service for a greater god," Janus said, "And as tradition and metaphysics demand, you now get a choice. And a reward. And, because I'm not a cold and nasty guy under it all, your choice and your reward is not going to turn around and bite you in the ass, kiddo. Good enough?"

"Uh," Cordelia gulped, and found herself nodding. "Good enough. Sir."

"And knock that sir crap off," Janus said, scowling. "I'd say that 'sir' is my dad, but I don't really have one."

"Yessir," they both said, simultaneously.

"Brats," he said, affectionately. "And as I said, choices and rewards time."

"Send us back," Xander and Cordelia said, simultaneously. They glared at each other, and, "Or let us stay there," they said, doing it again. Cordelia huffed at him and blew hair from her eyes.

"Can't," Janus said. Cordelia scowled at him, and he held up a hand. "You've already made that choice. You just don't recall it consciously as of yet. But if you concentrate on it, you'll know that that's true."

Xander did, opening his mouth to object, and suddenly realized... it was true. He didn't remember doing it, but there was a bone deep knowledge that they had made a choice, and it wasn't to stay with Dude, Rory, and the others... next to him, he could see Cordelia arriving at the same realization, and she didn't look happy about it.

"Crap. All right, then," Cordelia said, "And, so, what's the reward? And the choice? We get two choices, then?"

Janus nodded, those hazel green eyes suddenly serious. "More or less. All right. You can choose to go, well... not back to where and whence you came, because that where and when doesn't exist any more, not in the form in which you left it. Your actions there and then changed the there and now. Wilkins died, and Reginald Giles rendered the Sunnydale Hellmouth inactive for a period of, oh, around three centuries or so. So the Sunnydale you grew up in, doesn't exist any longer. You grew up in a different Sunnydale, and a whole different world."

"One where all of the heroes and legends we knew as a child, didn't go into Arden to play," Xander said, quoting a Styx song he'd always liked as a kid. "They became... history?"

"History, yup," Janus said. "A lot of things did stay the same, or similar. You'll get the memory dump from your little bit of Intellectus if you decide to return to your world line and time."

"And the stick, to go with the carrot?" Cordelia said.

"Are you sure that it's not the carrot to go with the stick of your returning?" Janus said, smiling and arching an eyebrow.

Cordelia opened her mouth to answer, maybe a bit hotly, and then closed it, shaking her head. "No. Dammit."

"Ok, so what's the carrot, then?" Xander said. He had a feeling he knew where this might be going. Comic books, again. And sci-fi and fantasy, notably Roger Zelazny and Chalker and Meyers...

Janus nodded, and waved his hand. A small, plain tray of dark and elegant wood appeared on the table in a space that was suddenly there to receive it. It held a stoppered glass decanter half filled with a translucent, sparkling, peach colored fluid, a shallow wooden bowl filled with dark, rich looking fruit, and a small glazed ceramic pitcher. And two wine glasses, and a pair of small ceramic cups.

"Food of the Gods," he said, almost reverently. "Partake, if you wish and you would. Eat of ambrosia, dine upon nectar, and drink of the waters of the Hippocrene."

"Uh... " Cordelia's mouth hung open for a minute, until she recovered. "Wait – what's the catch? I thought you said... "

"At least not without warning you and telling you the effects and consequences first, yes," Janus said, nodding. "You'll become like unto one of us. Only not quite, not for a long time. Something... no longer quite mortal, but not quite a God. Still, much more than human, and maybe a bit less," he explained. "The catch is: there is no going back. Screw what you've heard in your mythologies: no one, not even the All, can unmake this choice."

"Wow." Cordelia said, swallowing hard with her gaze riveted to the tray. She blinked, wrenching her gaze away to look up at Janus, and frowned. "The All?"

"The All," Janus said, nodding, "Also called The One, The Absolute, The Great One, The Creator, The Supreme Mind, The Supreme Good and the Supreme Evil; The Great Dreamer; The Father, and The Universal Mother. Everything that is, and will be, or at least that can be, collectively makes up The All. We exist in a Panentheistic based cosmos."

"Uh... okay," Cordelia said, nodding. She blinked again.

"It's not important," Janus said, smiling at her.

"Great big fleas have little fleas, with littler fleas to ride them," Xander said, winking at her.

"Exactly," Janus said, tapping his nose and pointing at Xander.

"Right. It's turtles all the way down," Cordelia said, shaking her head. "And I am so not going to bother trying to wrap my head around that."

"Uh... so. Immortality?" Xander said.

"Oh yes. Well, almost... say something just a wild hair less than forever and a day. And maybe a little bit longer."

"And, what then?" Cordelia said. "We get to hang out here in Olympus or wherever and be... almost gods, like, with you and the others?"

"No. At least, not at first," Janus said, shaking his head. "You can visit, when and if you want – but not stay, not for a while. No, you get your own slice of the World's Dream, to play in and do as you wish and you will with, to your heart's content. Until you grow up into your powers and your abilities and your immortality, and the responsibility that should go with them. Then you get to be as one among us." He paused, "Oh, and access to others like yourself, to compare notes and share friendships, knowledge, and companionship and camaraderie with – and enmities, if you choose. But not access to their slices of the World's Dream."

Both of them frowned at him.

Janus shrugged. "It's set up like that for a reason, now. Mostly to keep from having the kind of excesses that we used to perpetuate on your kind and other mortals, while we were learning and all heady and drunk with power. It's only been waived once, recently, and that's just because... those asshole Powers had managed to screw things up so thoroughly that something had to be set up as a counter to them, to straighten things out. It won't be allowed again, not for a long time: the circumstances there were unique, and they no longer exist."

Xander examined the God, a slow half smile coming across his lips. "And the other choice? I seem to remember 'more or less' was mentioned."

"Good catch," Janus said, his lips twitching into a slight smile. "Choice three: you can choose to stay here, with me. As part of my retinue, family, whatever you want to see it as."

"As what, servants? Wow, some choice," Cordelia said, her tone scathing.

Janus made a rude noise that made her jump. "Oh, Hades no. I have servants and servitors. What I lack are friends and comrades, or at least enough of them. I am... first among equals, here. And you'd be two of those equals, just lacking in my power and knowledge. At least at first. But things change, over time."

"Ok, so what happens if we pick Door Numbers One or Two? To our world, um, line?" Cordelia asked, her brow furrowed.

"Most people wouldn't care," Janus said.

"I – we're – not most people," she said, Xander nodding his agreement. He was kinda curious about that himself.

Janus nodded, looking extremely self satisfied. "Excellent. And, no, you are not," he said. "Simple. Metaphysics again. It exists. You exist there. Because the time line and circumstance and history, not to mention causality, demands it, an Alexander Harris and a Cordelia Chase will be born there, to your respective parents, and grow up there. But not as you did: it's not the same world, after all. Everything you went through in Sunnydale recently will be their past and mythology, your former present history won't exist for them, as it didn't happen that way, and they'll have slightly different memories and selves, because they were shaped by different circumstances and events."

"But not us," Xander said.

"No, you. Just... a different you, but still you. You that might have been, had things been slightly different. No Hellmouth, and no... well, a lot of other things."

"And if we pick to go back? Or there? Or whatever?" Cordelia said.

"What, you want to take all the surprise and fun out of this?" Janus said. She scowled, and he laughed, continuing, "You become those versions of you. With both sets of memories: growing up in that world line and being shaped by it, and growing up in the one you did, with all the memories including your recent past."

"Just... not immortal, right?" Cordelia said.

"Naw. You'll live out a normal human lifespan, together if you so choose. And die, and then return here, because you're marked as two of mine now. And be able to rest, and play, and then have choices to make, again, if you wish."

"Wait, marked?" Xander wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. Although the returning to this place sounded nifty. He'd never liked any of the concepts of the afterlife he'd been fed as a kid, or that he'd heard of since. This seemed like a cool place.

"What, we're your worshipers now?" Cordelia looked as skeptical as she sounded.

"Only if you wish," Janus said, shrugging. "I'd enjoy at least being revered, but it's not a requirement. No, you're marked as being touched by me, now. Other gods, demons, and powers will recognize that, and know not to screw with you – unless you choose to directly interfere and involve yourself with them. You can worship whoever you want. Even become agents of the powers if you wish, or align yourself with them. Oh – and you'll be marked to come here, at the end, rather than being shunted to some Hell, or some other afterlife not of your choice and against your will."

"Huh."

"So, whatcha think?" Cordelia asked, frowning at Xander.

"I dunno. What do you think?" Xander asked, looking at Cordelia in return.

"I asked you first, dammit," she said. "Oh – wait. Those are the choices. What're the rewards?"

Janus laughed, and Xander shrugged, grinning. "That's my girl," he said. "Always her eyes on the prize." Cordelia huffed and swatted him.

"I am so very tempted to just say neener neener and leave that as exercises for the student," Janus said, grinning. Cordelia glared at him, and he held up his hands. "But I won't. Simple. If you go back to your lives, as they'll be, you get a few... bonuses to take with."

"Such as?" Xander said, his eyebrows rising.

"Well... you, you get integrated," Janus said. He waved his hand negligently, and Xander's eyes flashed green briefly.

Xander reeled in the chair a bit, his eyes suddenly glazed, and Cordelia gasped and clutched his hand fiercely. "What the hell did you do?" she yelled, rounding on Janus.

"Relax," Janus said, his tone reassuring. "Nothing to harm him. He's integrated now. Those nagging hyena remnants? They're one with him now. And those fragmented soldier memories that would have caused problems down the line? Rather than having memories and personality fragments from a conglomeration of mix and match soldier concepts from Ethan's spell, he now has one: a singular and rather unique veteran, and one that fits his personality and... character."

Xander straightened, squeezing her hand back. "It's ok, honey, really. I'm all right. Now, actually – really all right." He grinned, "Maybe for the first time in a long, long while."

"Well," Cordelia bit her lower lip, searching him with her eyes. He met her gaze back, letting her... she nodded finally, reluctantly. "If you say so." She gasped, then. "Wait – Hyena Boy?"

"Don't sweat it," Janus said. "Really. You're mated now, heart, soul, mind and body. The remnants of the Hyena tutelary being would no more ever harm you than it would eat its young. And even more so, now that they're integrated with and melded with Xander."

Cordelia looked dubious, and a bit scared, and Janus made an exasperated now. "Oh, come on. Didn't you recently tell someone that you could never ever imagine Xander ever harming you? Did you mean that, or was it just... reassuring bullshit?"

Cordelia's spine straightened with a crackle, and her eyes flashed angrily. Her chin came up. "You... I don't bullshit about things like that. Dammit."

"Well, all right, then." Janus said, nodding. "You really named yourself well and aptly, you know," he said, smiling at her. "Lahini – one of Kipling's fierce eyed she-wolves. Deadlier than the male."

"And just what little surprises exactly did you have in mind for me?" Cordelia said, sarcastically, her eyes still flashing.

"You? Ah. You'll grow into yourself, finally and fully. Without interference from any other Powers or wannabe powers," Janus said. He frowned slightly, and gestured, and a soft white glow settled gently around her... fading after a few moments. "There – and do it safely, this time, and in your own time."

Cordelia frowned and opened her mouth, and Janus held up a hand. "And before you ask," he said, "I don't know exactly what that will entail or mean, so, don't. I just know that you'll become more than you hoped for, and more than you ever could have possibly dreamed you would."

"Hmm." Cordelia frowned, still looking disgruntled, but no longer fuming, at least. "What about Dude and all them?"

"Hah. Not going to ruin every surprise. Neener-neener," Janus said. "Hell, read about them. Watch lots of Westerns. Research."

"All right. So, Goofy. What do you want to do?" Cordelia turned to Xander, apparently deciding to ignore Janus.

"Hmm. I dunno. Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Xander said, his smile going lopsided.

"Huh?" Cordelia blinked at him, gaping. Then her eyes cleared, and a slow smile of her own began to develop. "Gee, I think so, Brain. But this time you get to put the garter belts and the merry widow on the bull."

Xander laughed, and then leaned in, his eyes sparkling, and kissed her slowly and thoroughly. "I love you, you know?"

"I think I'm starting to figure that out."

"So." Xander shrugged. "Should we stay or should we go now?"

Cordelia looked deep into his eyes, searching them, and nibbling at her lower lip. "I dunno. Immortality, life here, or back to our miserable lives."

"Have the feeling they won't be so miserable now."

"We'll grow old, Doofus."

"Together, Mrs. Doofus."

"Oh yeah? What makes you think I'll want to spend the rest of my life with you, dumb ass?"

"Because you will," Xander said, kissing her again. "Because you do. Because you always have."

"Yeah?' Cordelia tossed her hair at him, her eyes sparkling. "Gee, you sound just awful confident."

"I know," Xander said, smiling lopsidedly at her. "It's because I have a just awful sweet gal that I've known since I was five."

"Is that a trade up from a just awful sweet Winchester?"

Xander's grin grew wider and even more lopsided, and hers grew to match it. "We'll have to ask Heidi."

"So... you'd really go home with me? Or stay with me here?"

"Huh? Hell, Cordelia. Home is where you are," Xander said. "I don't care where that is."

"Huh," she said, biting at her lower lip. "You've changed, a bit."

"It's all the learning experiences. Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn – "

"– Show us the lessons that we should learn," she finished, laughing. "All right," she said, finally. "Let's do it."

"You heard the lady," Xander said. He looked over at Janus. "Send us – "

Janus smiled at the empty armchair where his two guest had been sitting. He raised his whiskey glass. "Salud, you two. And... vaya con dios. Go with the All."

After a few moments, he threw his head back, laughing, and said, "Jupiter's beard. Sometimes I really love my job." He scowled suddenly, and his eyes narrowed.

"All right," he said, looking intently into the shadows at the corner of the large room. "You can come on out, now."

A rather dumpy and lugubrious looking figure wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt, faded chinos, and a rather shapeless pork pie hat shrugged and stepped out into the room, his hands in his pockets.

"Gotta say, Two-face, my bosses are seriously not with the happy towards you right now," the figure said.

"Whistler?" Janus said.

The little dumpy man looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Get the hell off of my lawn, punk," Janus said, waving his hand. He glared at the empty spot. "Goddamned kids."

He snorted, and finished his whiskey, and poured himself another. "Tell your bosses to go and make with the fucking of themselves."

.