I speak out in Korean, "We meet again. I think you owe us at least a greeting from that courteous introduction you left us with two nights ago, am I wrong?"
The Magical Girl with the peculiar wrist-shield device turns around and speaks - not in Korean, as I had spoken to her, but instead to my surprise in Japanese.
"My business here does not need to be revealed," the girl replies in a calm, cold voice. Her manner of speaking, her mannerisms, and her tone sounds very much like mine. "Why are you interfering?"
"Interfering? We have come to resolve our own 'business'. I believe you are the one who intruded on ours," I calmly reply. "Perhaps if you return that Grief Seed that you essentially stole from us two nights ago, we may be able to talk this out."
"Then clearly our perspectives differ, and should you know my intentions, there is no possibility of us reconciling. I regret to have taken what you perceive is yours, but I am afraid that I cannot return your Grief Seed."
"Then I hardly believe we can allow you to escape without some sort of repercussion," I growl in a low voice but loud enough to be heard over the high-altitude winds. "I can accept that there are some Magical Girls who play this game in their own ways, but unfortunately, you have crossed the wrong Magical Girls to do it to."
The enemy Magical Girl raises her arm that holds her shield device over her left breast.
"Then you leave me no choice but to eliminate you both."
The shield rotates in place like a factory mechanical gear, and I widen my eyes in instinctual response.
When the gear latches itself to an abrupt stop, the world is thrown into a monochrome color scene of light black, dark white, and many different shades of gray. I can feel my eyes pulse as I can physically feel time being stopped on a massive scale due to this strange Magical Girl's power, but the important thing is that my eyes are somehow able to resist this girl's power as well and continue to move about.
The Magical Girl lowers her arm, narrowing her purple eyes and lowering her shield arm.
"...who are you...?" she asks, and I can detect a very vivid tone of worry in her voice. "To be able to be unaffected by my power..."
It seems that she has either never come across another Magical Girl who can resist her time-stopping power or has met other Magical Girls like me too infrequently to consider me a major threat.
"I prefer to keep my identity safe from Magical Girls like you," I retort. "But I think it is safe to assume that I am the first to continue to resist your skill."
"That would be correct," she concedes, "but it is no matter. I may not know what kind of power you possess that allows you to exist within my world, but there is no Magical Girl whom I cannot kill."
With that, she reaches swiftly into her small shield device and withdraws an M69-HE hand grenade. Does that device also serve to function as some sort of equipment storage?
I don't have time to think. Drawing upon my reactions, I create a USP .45 handgun and snap my aim at the grenade as the other Magical Girl flicks off the pin with her thumb and tosses it towards Antonia's feet. Because Antonia is frozen in place by the other Magical Girl's time stop, she is powerless against the incoming grenade. But when I pull the trigger and fire a bullet, the grenade is already rolling on the ground, and to my surprise, both the grenade and my bullet freeze in time, just inches away from making contact.
The other Magical Girl seems just as surprised as I am at the fact that munitions are also frozen by the time stop.
"You use modern weapons as well?" she asks. "How surprising."
"There are more of us who use contemporary weapons - more than you think." I lower my handgun, glancing at the eerie sight of the bullet I just fired still hovering in midair a few inches away from the grenade. "But if you wish to fight, do not attack my friend who cannot retaliate. You are reaching new levels of discourtesy by doing so, and you will be lucky to escape with your life."
The Magical Girl in front of me tussles her hair. "Is that a challenge I am hearing?" she coolly replies. "And I can sense that you are not some inexperienced Magical Girl who knows absolutely nothing about this world in which we live. You must know that as Magical Girls, we ought not to rely on our sense of human morals to accomplish whatever it is that we must do."
"I also happen to know that killing other Magical Girls is something that I must do every once in a while," I respond, "and it is not something I will hesitate to do if I know that they are threatening the life of those close to me."
The other Magical Girl closes her eyes.
"Then it seems we have something in common."
She reaches once again into her shield and pulls out a small canister grenade that looks homemade, which she tosses again onto the rooftop of the skyscraper. I raise my gun to fire a bullet at it again, but I notice that the Magical Girl is raising her shield arm once more. Anticipating her move, I put all my focus into my feet and push off the ground to tackle her before her shield device can undo the time freeze. The enemy Magical Girl barely has time to react to the speed with which I burst towards her, so I am able to take her down and pin her down against the rooftop, forcing her to disengage her cancellation of her own time stop. She attempts to reach into her shield, presumably to pull out another weapon, but drawing a weapon is much slower than simply creating one out of thin air. I slam my left hand onto her right wrist to prevent her from reaching her shield device and swiftly point my USP .45 handgun at her forehead. At this point-blank range, the distance that the bullet will travel if I so choose to fire my weapon will still plunge into this girl's head despite the time freeze that is still in effect. My knees are on her legs so that she cannot move.
"Give me one reason why I should not end your life right now," I murmur to the Magical Girl with purple eyes. "You are lucky that I was in a rather good mood prior to our encounter, for normally I would exterminate a hostile Magical Girl like you without question."
The Magical Girl, initially struggling against my grip but finding escape to be futile against my superior strength, grimaces as she realizes she has little choice, but she refuses to give me an immediate answer. I tighten my grip on my pistol, clearly showing her that I am willing to pull the trigger at any moment.
"Hurry up. Even if technically we are not wasting any time in this little frozen world of yours, I do not wish to be part of this world for longer than I need to. Answer me."
The Magical Girl sighs. "Very well. I will return the Grief Seed that I stole from you two nights ago. Do we have a deal?"
I narrow my eyes. "Is that a bribe that you are offering me?"
"What other reason do I have that you would believe?"
I glare at the Magical Girl at my mercy with cold eyes.
"Where is it?"
"In my shield. You will have to let go of my hand for me to retrieve it."
I glare even harder at her. "And how exactly do you plan on convincing me that you will not instead pull out another grenade to blow up in front of my face?"
"Because doing so would obviously hurt me too, should I resume time."
I still do not trust her, but I am in no mood to find my hands dirtied with the blood of yet another fellow Magical Girl, so I slowly let go of her left hand, ready to react to any suspicious or quick and sudden movement on her end. She casually reaches into her shield, and just as she promised, she withdraws a Grief Seed and raises it up to me.
"Will you get off me now?" she asks as I take the Grief Seed from her, and I oblige, but I continue to keep my iron sights on her head. I stand up first, and she follows suit.
"If you can dispose of those grenades, then we can depart as though this never happened," I say to the Magical Girl in front of me. "I think that would be best for both parties."
"The best way for you to do that is to take yourself and your friend away from this place," she replies. "Those grenades are live. There is nothing I can do to undo their effect."
"And how exactly do you want me to move my friend?"
"Make physical contact with her. It will allow her to also move about in this world."
I glance at Antonia quickly, who is also colored in monochrome. Keeping my eyes on the Magical Girl, I backpedal towards my best friend and hold onto her right arm, and sure enough, Antonia's body immediately resumes its normal colors, and she blinks and looks around.
"W-Where - the fuck's all this?" she exclaims in a shock, utterly baffled at the eerie monochrome scaling that the world is painted in. "Hae Eun, what's - "
I hold up a hand to get her to be quiet, and she does, reading the situation correctly. I speak out to the hostile Magical Girl,
"Then we shall take our leave now. Make this our last encounter - I assume that we share the same intent of never meeting one another again?"
"Your assumption would be correct," she nods slightly.
"Then that is well. But should you cause trouble for us again, I will make sure that you will not escape with your life."
The Magical Girl stands facing us, giving no response to my threat. Throwing her one last hard glare, I tug on Antonia's arm, and we exit the rooftops and head for the elevators. As we arrive in front of the elevators, the monochrome colors quickly vanish and become replaced by normal colors of the world, the time stoppage ceasing and giving way to normal time resumption. The elevator doors of our elevator ding and sweep open for us, and we enter it to head back down to the lobby. As the doors close, two distant explosions above us detonate. We stare up at the ceiling of the elevator, as though we are trying to see the explosion through the elevator itself.
"Hae Eun..." Antonia asks worriedly, "what the hell was that?"
"A grenade," I calmly reply. My eyes shift back to normal, since there is no more immediate use for them anymore.
"Oh God...well, ya gotta explain this to me, I wanna know what happened. What'd'ja do with that Magical Girl? Did'ja fight? Did she hurt'cha?"
I shake my head. "Let me explain. I have confirmed that her power is indeed to stop time."
Antonia crosses her arms. "So you were right. That explains why she looked like she jus' disappeared outta our sight the other night. But how did'ja find out? Did she tell ya?"
"No, it was pretty obvious once I entered that time-frozen world of hers myself."
"So your eyes...did they...uh, how should I - "
"Yes, they did. My eyes allowed me to resist her power of freezing time, so I was able to continue to move about even though that Magical Girl had stopped time."
"So...was it like, a global time stop thing, or was it only in effect in, like, a particular area?"
"As far as I could tell, it was global. It seemed as though she were controlling time on a conceptual level - stopping it universally, with almost no exception but me."
"Jesus fuckin' Christ. Then what happened? After she stopped time 'n all."
"She threw a grenade at us."
"...er, by any chance...was that the nade that yer talkin' 'bout?" Antonia asks slowly, pointing up at the ceiling.
"Seems so."
"Then wait...lemme guess...it jus' exploded then 'cause it didn't blow up while time was frozen, right?"
"That is correct."
"Shit. And then what?"
"She threw another grenade and basically tried to resume time so that the grenades would detonate, but I ran her down and pinned her with a gun to her head so that she could not pull it off and keep time frozen for the time being. I then forced her to return the Grief Seed that she had taken from us two nights before."
"Oh shit, really? Did she really give it back?"
I pull out the Grief Seed from my pocket and show it to her as proof.
"Sweet! So ya beat it outta her, huh?"
"She had no choice. It seems that I am physically stronger than she is, and she was in a position where I could have easily taken her life if she did not cooperate, so I asked for it back, and she gave it back. A single Grief Seed is a small price to pay for your life."
"Okay, so what about after she handed back the Grief Seed? Anythin' else?"
"I simply grabbed you and led you away from the grenades back here to the elevators, and here we are now."
"What about that time-stoppin' Magical Girl?"
"What about her?"
Antonia stares at me. "I mean, did'ja beat 'er up 'r what?"
"No, I let her go. There was no reason to kill her, nor am I in the mood to kill anyone right now. We are still on vacation, after all."
"Then what happened to her? Wasn't she still up on the roof when those nades went off?"
I shrug. "Hardly our business to find out or care, is it."
"I mean...if ya put it that way..."
The elevator progresses down a few floors as there is a pause in our conversation.
"Wait!" Antonia bursts out. "How was I able to move around in that time stop thingy? Wasn't it still active back then?"
"Apparently if someone like that Magical Girl or me who can still move around even while time has frozen physically makes contact with another object or person, they, too, will be exempt from the time freeze. This comes straight from the source itself."
"You mean that the time-stoppin' Magical Girl told'ja that herself?"
"Indeed."
"Huh." Antonia scratches her hair. "Well, I mean...it does kinda sound like ya basically handed her ass to her. She didn't look all that beat-up, though."
"I think she recognized that I was in a much more favorable situation than she was at the time, so she conceded rather quickly."
"You think she ain't so strong after all?"
I twist my lips a little. "My instinct tells me that she is still a powerful Magical Girl just with her time-stopping powers alone. We both could have very well died up there had my eyes not rendered me exempt from being frozen by her time stopping power. I think she admitted defeat because she did not expect me to be able to counter her time stop, and that she did not expect me to be as physically strong as I am. I may have squeezed out an easy victory for us here, but if we do by chance run into her again, I predict that she will be better prepared to face us."
"'Specially you," Antonia says grimly, and I nod.
"Yes...especially me."
The elevator continues down the skyscraper building and reaches the lobby floor. We exit the elevator lobby and emerge back out onto the streets to get away from the scene before people begin to crowd around the place to investigate the explosions on the rooftops.
"Hey, did'ja ask for her name or anythin'?" Antonia asks. "It'd be nice to refer to people by name instead 'a jus' callin' 'em 'that one Magical Girl' or whatever."
"No, but I do not plan on ever talking to her again, so knowing her name would be a waste of my time. I do not intend to make friends with Magical Girls who see it worth their time to steal the Grief Seeds of other Magical Girls who have fought to earn them."
Antonia grins. "Harsh, ain't'cha? But do you think we really won't come across her again? I mean, we've already run into each other twice now, there's a good chance we'll see each other a third time."
"If there is a third time, then I shall kill her. I have warned her so," I coldly reply.
"Oh, shit, you even warned her, huh?"
"Yes, indeed."
"Then tell me this again, do ya think I can beat her ass if she doesn't use her time stop thing?"
"Probably. I am inclined to believe that she is an extremely intelligent Magical Girl with an extremely powerful ability, but because she relies so heavily on her ability, her actual physical strength and fortitude is lacking compared to ours. We have the ability to take a few hits and roll with them; I do not know if she is the type to do the same."
"So basically, all we need is one hit on her 'n she's done, right?"
"Perhaps."
"Suh-weet. When're we goin' back home again?"
"Tomorrow."
"Ah shit, then ya wanna hit up those department stores you were talkin' about earlier in the mornin'?"
"Sure."
For the rest of the day, Antonia and I did not run into that Magical Girl who can stop time again. Thank God, too, because today is our last day and we depart tomorrow on Sunday morning. At least Antonia and I were able to enjoy what was left of our little vacation to Seoul.
Antonia is watching some English shows on TV in our hotel room in Seoul, a few hours before we need to go to bed. I have decided to take this time to call this mysterious man Appa refers to as "Savior" in his audio file. Having copied the contact numbers from the notepad file that accompanied the audio file on the second flash drive and telling Antonia that I needed to make a bit of a long call, I exited our room and headed to a secluded place to make the call. I find myself wandering around for a good place to do so, but in the end, I settle for an empty hotel room down our floor and use my reality-altering power to temporarily lock the door completely to make my call uninterrupted, in case this room is actually reserved for another patron.
I dial the first of the numbers, and my phone buzzes with the familiar droning of a phone number being wired. A minute passes before the automatic phone operator says, "We're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer available..." So I repeat the process three times, for the first three numbers that were listed. This rather feels like a bit of a movie plot, having a bunch of numbers to call from and finding that only the last one actually works. But to my dismay, the fourth and final number does not work either. I gaze down at my phone, standing on the balcony of the empty hotel room and looking out to the majestic urban nighttime landscape of my original hometown of Seoul, Korea. But my phone sadly terminates the call by itself, without even an answering machine to reply back.
Sighing and slipping the smartphone into my skirt pocket, I put my naked elbows onto the railing and lean against it, gazing out to the skylights of the capital city of my native country. A scene like this...my sentiments compel me to think over the events that have occurred thus far.
The second strange flash drive...Appa's wedding ring...the other missing wedding ring, presumably Um-ma's...the powerful Magical Girl who can stop time at her will and also uses modern weaponry like me...this man named Savior, to whom I seem to have no reliable method of contacting...
I lose track of how much time passes when I close my eyes in deep, pensive thought, but something vibrating in my skirt pulls me back into the cool, soft reality of my place on the balcony about fifteen floors above the streets of Seoul. I realize that my smartphone is receiving a call, and expecting the caller to be Major Kim, I pull out my phone and glance at the screen for the identification number.
My phone says "unknown caller".
I narrow my eyes at my phone. Could this be that man Savior, whoever he is? But if he is calling me using one of the numbers that I had dialed, my phone would be able to trace it and identify the caller as one of those such numbers, but the fact that an "unknown caller" is calling me can only mean that if this caller is indeed Savior, he is contacting me through a completely different number. Which then, in turn, begs the question:
How does he know my number?
I hesitate to scroll the button to the side to answer the call, but I finally do it and raise the phone slowly to my right ear.
"...hello?" I cautiously speak in English.
"Good evening, daughter of David Baek. Or, should I say, David Sawatari. It has been some time." A quiet but powerful and deep voice seeps into my eardrum.
David Sawatari? Been some time? What is this man saying?
"Is this Savior to whom I am speaking?" I ask, more firmly this time.
"You would be correct."
"How did you manage to call this number? I have called you on the four numbers that my father left me , yet you have called me on none of those."
"Every living thing has his or her secrets in this world. That, as it happens to be, is one of mine. Perhaps you will understand when you come to meet me."
I blink a few times, not sure of what to say. I have a deepening suspicion that this man, whoever he is, probably already knows my intentions.
"Then judging by your words, should I assume that you know why I have tried to contact you?" I ask.
"Only because of the fact that your late father had enlightened me of this event years in advance."
"My father told you that this would happen? Was he some sort of clairvoyant?"
"By no means. He only mentioned that there was a chance that this would indeed happen, and it has happened. Why should that be a surprise to me or you?"
My gut is telling me that this man is very suspicious and not one to trust so readily.
"Then this should be simple," I declare, straightening my back off the railing and looking up at the cloudless night sky, "my father has instructed me to meet with you, and I will assume that you already know why. I know not who you are or what image you portray, but my father has informed me that you have what I am searching for."
"Perhaps you intended to say, what your father was looking for."
"I fail to see the difference."
"Then that is a shame, for it seems you do not fully appreciate your father's futile yet courageous and perilous work to save your life."
I feel a strange heat rise to my skin. "I apologize, but I am afraid I do not comprehend what you mean by that," I reply. "You seem to speak as though you knew my father better than I do."
"In some respects, I do not. But in many others, I in fact do. If you knew to call those numbers your father bequeathed to you, you would in turn know the connection that I have to your father. Perhaps he did not mention that?"
"He did; he said that you were a former enemy turned ally in this fight against this organization called the Advanced Administration of the Holy War, and that you yourself were once affiliated with that very group."
"Very good. Indeed it is true; I at one point did indeed battle against your father and your mother, but eventually I betrayed my former comrades in arms."
"Why? This may not be my business to ask, but why did you leave that organization?"
"Are you familiar with the Advanced Administration at all? Or did your father choose not to discuss it with you? For it is far earlier than your time."
"He did not."
"Then I prefer explaining the matter when we are in company of one another. While I care not for those who were once a part of the Advanced Administration, I recognize that the matter is not one to discuss over a medium such as a phone call."
"Then where and when shall I meet you? That is my main intent of contacting you, after all."
"I am currently trekking down a road called Interstate 5. We shall meet again on the top of the hill that overlooks the sea past the old St. John Fisher's church site. You, who are a local, ought to know the location I am speaking of."
And sure enough, I do.
"How do you know that place?!" I raise my voice - this man is becoming too suspicious. He knows things that he shouldn't know - how can a man who has been sojourning the world as a wandering foot traveler know such a detail about my own town?
But Savior only chuckles lightly.
"I will attribute your ignorance to your youth and inexperience. You will come to understand that sometimes, power can be manifested in forms humans can hardly bring themselves to understand. Because you are a Magical Girl, it is not unreasonable to say that you will have a harder time understanding this because of the fact that you wield superhuman powers. Or could it be that you have lived all your Magical Girl life under the assumption that only your kind, the Magical Girls, exist with fantastical powers and abilities? We will meet again. And do not come accompanied by your fellow Magical Girl, or I will be forced to kill her."
"...I understand...?" I say, extremely uncertainly. I'm not even sure how to react.
"Very good. We shall meet in exactly three days' time, at this same time. Remember this time well. And do not believe for a second that I am your friend or your enemy. I have decided to waste no more time involving myself in fickle matters with this rotten world. I respected your late father, and if he bids me to assist him through you, I shall do it. Until then, Daughter of the Lamb."
My phone automatically cuts the call.
My mind is numb from from what I have just heard. I lower my phone and slowly head back to our room.
"Yo, Hae Eun!" Antonia greets me in her usual cheerful voice as I close the hotel room door behind me again and flop onto the bed next to her. She takes one look at my face, and her face goes sour too. "Hae Eun, what's wrong? Somethin' went wrong with the call?"
I slowly roll my head on the pillow to gaze back at my best friend.
"Antonia..." I mumble, "I called Savior."
"Savior? Oh, you mean that guy your dad mentioned in the audio file. What about him? What did he say?"
"He is dangerous, Antonia. He's too strong."
"Too strong? Wait, what? What're you talkin' about? You gotta get me caught up here so I can understand."
I summarize the call that I had with Savior to Antonia.
"He knows things that he should not," I conclude after the explanation, "and to me, I feel like he is too strong to simply regard as a neutral. No one outside of our town or area knows that spot that he mentioned unless you actually live in Palos Verdes or around it!"
"And he said that he'll kill me if I go with you? Dayuuumm..." Antonia scowls, but it is a scowl of worried concern. "This guy's hardcore, and yer dad trusts that dude? The fuck's wrong with 'im..." Antonia slides onto her back with me on the bed. "So you gonna go out there 'n see 'im?"
"I must. It is not as though I have a choice."
"I mean, I guess, but still...if you could tell that he ain't no slouch just by talkin' to him over the phone, why risk gettin' bopped goin' to see him? Forget it, Hae Eun, you got a lot more to live for than just tryin'a follow what'cher dad wants ya to do."
I hug one of the extra pillows, pushing the top part of it against my lips.
"I don't know..." I mutter.
"Awwww, c'mon, Hae Eun, this ain't like you," Antonia murmurs as she rolls over closer to me. "Where's that decisive I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass Hae Eun that I usually know? C'mon, lemme see Badass Hae Eun again. I don't like it when you're not sure 'a yourself."
"How can I be sure about anything when my own dead father tells me to go meet some weird man who I think is far stronger than I am?" I ask. "You know that the two of us have never been truly defeated by anyone. We have taken serious injuries, yes, but no one has beaten us or proven their superiority over us. Yet, this man named Savior threatens to break all that, and he is not even one of us, and in addition, he seems to know everything about us."
"But he never said he did, right?"
"It certainly feels that way, though."
Antonia shrugs. "Well, it's late, and we gotta wake up early tomorrow, so we may's well go to sleep. Hopefully sleepin'll clear your head up and calm ya down, waddya say? I'll let'cha sleep in my arms again, you know ya want it~"
I feel my cheeks grow warm, but I smile at her. Sometimes I fail to take things slowly, one at a time. I am too accustomed to handling everything all at once...and clearly doing so right now is not serving me justice.
We prepare for bed, and within twenty minutes, Antonia pushes off the lights and hugs me to sleep.
I blink rapidly. I do not know where I am. The warm bed, the warmth of my best friend Antonia's arms...I can no longer feel it.
I look around. Snow is falling everywhere, lightly, just a few centimeter's worth.
I look down at myself. Old, tattered and frayed layers of a South Korean soldier's uniform clothe my body.
Something feels very familiar about this.
Is this another one of my nightmares again? Perhaps recurring after a few years?
I instinctively grasp my right hand, in which normally a pistol or a hand firearm would be. But there is nothing there for me to grasp - I am unarmed.
Strange.
I raise my gloved hands, watching my breath materialize in front of me. Normally, in my nightmares, there would be a varying amount of bloodstains, fresh or dry, blotched on my palms. There is none this time.
This fog obscures my vision, so I cannot see anything around me. Something tells me that nothing will happen if I try to move around, so I decide to sit down on the cold but thin layer of snow, waiting for something to happen.
The old musty soldier's winter coat that I am wearing, greasy on the sleeves from gun oil and reeking of gunpowder and mud, is nostalgic, but not in a good sense.
I do not know how much time passes as I continue to sit on the ground, but I hear light footsteps behind me, approaching me. Turning to it, wondering who it may be, I watch as a woman with long black hair emerges from the fog.
"Hae Eun! Oh my God, Hae Eun, my baby, Hae Eun!"
I find myself immediately rising to my feet to greet this woman, yet I feel myself exerting no strength. I feel too weak to make any sort of effort because
this woman is my mother.
I lunge into Um-ma's open arms too hard, so I end up tackling her down onto the snow. Um-ma yelps in surprise, not expecting me to tackle her, and cries and laughs at the same time as I make no noise but press my forehead against her chest. My open eyes are dumping big fat tears so great that they barely exit the sockets before dripping onto Um-ma's winter fur-lined sweater.
"H-Hae Eun, p-please - please stop hugging me so tightly - "
I obey, getting off her and helping her to sit up, only so that I can then throw my arms around her neck and hug her that way. She, too, is crying silently as she puts her arms around me again and this time puts a kiss on my right cheek. We stay like this for a very, very long moment.
"You have grown so much, Hae Eun," Um-ma says tearfully in Korean, wiping away my own. "How did you recognize me?"
"...w-wedding photos," I mumble. The tears are causing me to hiccup and stutter my words. "But...how...? How...you're...you are no longer..."
But my own confused and overwhelmed emotions plunge my voice into the abyss of muteness, and I bow my head and squeeze even more big fat tears out of my eyes.
"Aw...Hae Eun, my baby, don't cry..." my mother says softly, embracing me again. "Just for this little moment...it is just you and me..."
It takes me another long, timeless moment to gather my wits to speak again without stammering like a little baby.
"I don't want this to be a dream..." I mutter sadly, looking down at Um-ma's legs as I sit in front of her. "I don't..."
Um-ma gives me a small, morose smile as she holds my hands. Her hands are very warm, despite having no gloves.
"I feel the same way too," she says, "but who knows when we will be able to see each other again. But for now, let us capitalize on this chance that we do have." She takes a length of my white hair and runs her fingers through it. "This is how I know you are my daughter, Hae Eun...your hair is the same as mine."
At the mention of my hair, my eyes glance at my own mother's long black hair. Indeed, just by looking at it, I can tell that I have inherited Um-ma's hair.
"But...I do not have black hair..." I mumble in a bit of an embarrassed tone. "Black hair is so much more elegant...and graceful..."
Um-ma tilts her head a bit. "But what is so wrong with your own hair?" she asks.
"I hate it."
"Oh...but why?"
"It reminds me that I am an albino...a freak of nature. And I hate the color white."
Um-ma chuckles. "Awww...don't be like that, baby. Your hair is beautiful as it is. Do you like snow, Hae Eun?"
I look around at the snow falling lightly down on us and on the ground before shaking my head.
"I hate snow. It is a bother and it makes me cold."
"Aw, that is a shame. I love it."
"You love snow, Um-ma?"
"Yes. I love it very much."
I am feeling bad for hating something my own mother likes - it makes me feel like I do not deserve to be her daughter.
"Then...should I start to like it too?"
Um-ma chuckles again. "You do not have to love and hate the same things as I do, Hae Eun. Be yourself."
"But...if I hate something you love, then it does not feel right for me..."
"You do not have to feel that you cannot be my daughter if you inherit my tastes in things as well," Um-ma smiles. "I will love you as my daughter whatever way you are. You have grown up to be a beautiful girl - more beautiful than I would have ever dreamed. God has truly blessed me and your daddy."
I blush at the fact that my own mother is calling me beautiful. That alone feels as though it can comfort the long, seemingly endless months of solitude that I spent after Appa had died and before I met Antonia.
"But...but how?" I finally blurt out, my head swimming with many, many questions. "How am I seeing you? Is this just a delusional dream I am having?"
"While it is a dream indeed, it is not delusional," Um-ma shakes her head slightly. "You must have found one of our wedding rings."
I blink my eyes, the purpose of the wedding ring finally manifesting itself clearly before me.
"The - the ring I wore caused this?"
"Yes. Well...to be precise, your daddy somehow organized his memories of me into a projected image of me and put them into the ring that you have. He made it so that when you wore that ring, you would be able to see me on the first night you sleep afterwards."
"Then you are simply what Appa remembered you as?"
"Correct. Look at my outfit," she says, beckoning to her clothes. "This is the same outfit I wore when your daddy and I went on our weekend breaks to Seoul. His fondest memories of me were of the times when we were alone together, spending our time together like a normal couple would when we were not fighting or involved with army matters." She gives me another sad smile. "I suppose you could say that what you are calling 'Um-ma' is only an empty shell programmed to react to your sentiments and your words. The real me - your mother is still passed away. Nothing will change that."
"I know..." I hiss, suddenly becoming very angry. Not at Um-ma, but at nothing in particular. Just angry. "I know that you're dead, Um-ma...! I know...you do not have to remind me..."
"I'm sorry, Hae Eun." She rubs my hands together, and the sensation tickles gently and siphons my anger out of me like air being pumped out of a wheel. "I wish I did not die like I did. I have failed you as a mother. Who in the world passes away of childbirth in this day and age anyway..." She shakes her head, extremely disappointed with herself.
"But you were busy and tired from fighting witches on top of your regular army duties, were you not? You were exhausted. I am - I'm happy that you gave me a chance to live. I'm grateful that you sacrificed yourself for me. I really am, Um-ma."
"...aw, baby, come here..." My mother pulls me close and plants a kiss on my forehead before giving me a big hug again. "I truly wish the real me were still alive...how could I leave my poor daughter all alone..."
I feel something cold tap my shoulder, and I realize Um-ma is crying silently over my shoulder, much like I was earlier. I suddenly feel my heart become plunged in guilt and hug Um-ma again. How many times I hug my mother no longer seems to be a concern.
"...it's okay, Um-ma," I whisper. "I can manage on my own. I have a best friend who...who helps me through tough times."
"...does she know about you being a Magical Girl?" Um-ma asks.
"She is one, Um-ma."
"I see...it is better if neither of you were Magical Girls, but...at least you two can relate to one another."
"Um-ma, I'm curious, how did you know that I am a Magical Girl?"
Um-ma draws away from me with a small smile that she seems to always have. "This image of your mother in front of you right now knows everything your father knows," she says. "After all, he was the one who produced this projection of your mother. I am aware of the fact that David met that particular Japanese Magical Girl with the power of foresight who informed him that you would be a Magical Girl. And typically, the children of Magical Girls like me who manage to survive long enough to marry and have families also become Magical Girls."
I straighten my back a little. "Then...does that mean our powers are hereditary? Can I have the same powers as you once did?"
She chuckles again. "I...I'm not too sure if that is how it works, Hae Eun," she says, "Magical Girls tend to be rather unique. There are only a few other Magical Girls whom I have known to have children like me and lived long enough to see their daughters become Magical Girls, and none of those children had anything that looked similar to their mothers' powers. I do not expect you to have the same powers as I do. Actually, what are your powers? I am curious."
I raise my hand and create a pistol in my hand. Well...I attempt to. But nothing forms in my hand.
My powers are gone.
Um-ma gives me an awkward smile. "You - you do not have to show me if you are uncomfortable with it," she says, trying to be accommodating. "I am sure you are a strong Magical Girl in ways that you do not need to demonstrate."
I shake my head. "My power is to manipulate reality," I declare, feeling as though a part of me wants to boast how strong I am to my mother. "I just...cannot do it right now for some reason..."
"Manipulate reality? That...that seems like an extremely strong ability..." Um-ma marvels quietly. "Perhaps I have given birth to not only a beautiful daughter but an extremely powerful one too?"
"You did, Um-ma, but...I want to show you...but...I...can't..." I summon all of my focus and my will to force my power to work, but still nothing seems to happen. It is as though my power refuses to cooperate with me right now.
"Well...if you can control reality, and it is not working right now..." Um-ma wonders aloud, "maybe it is not working at the moment because you are inside a dream?"
"Oh..."
I slap my palm straight into my face. Well, of fucking course...how could I miss something so obvious...
Um-ma smiles awkwardly again. "Did...did I guess correctly...?" she scratches the back of her ear uncertainly, and I nod. "I see...aw, I wanted to see how strong my daughter is. I guess I can't..."
"I-I will fight for you," I blurt out without thinking, "I have never been defeated in battle before!"
Um-ma simply smiles and chuckles, like she knows that I am trying to act all tough in front of her like a dog returning a thrown ball to its owner and being proud of it. "I trust that you are indeed very strong," Um-ma says, "and if your power is indeed the ability to change reality, then you, too, have been truly blessed with a great power. But you must remember not to squander it, of course?"
"Yes, Um-ma." I nod obediently.
Then, Um-ma looks up at the sky.
"It seems our time together is coming to an end for now," she says reluctantly, unwilling to part ways with me just yet.
"Huh? Wait, why!?" I look up at the sky, too, and around us, but nothing has changed yet to suggest that the dream is ending. Then, I see that the fog around us has steadily been creeping up on the two of us during all this time, and now it is at the point where our visibility has decreased to only a dozen meters or so. Um-ma hugs me one last time.
"I hope that this will comfort you," she says in a whisper, "seeing your mother again like this. I know that your real mother can no longer see her daughter again, but I shall speak in her stead in that I hope to God that we can meet again like this."
"No!" I squeeze the body of my mother. "You are my mother! You're not a projection or anything else! I don't know any other mother but you, even if you aren't the real one! The real one is already dead - you are the closest I will get to having her back! So please, please don't leave me! Please don't! Don't leave me like Appa did!"
I cry out in the hopes that my dream will continue as the fog begins to blur my vision, but I know that my voice and my tears are in vain.
"At least this will not be the only time we can meet," Um-ma comforts me, stroking my hair. "We may not know when our next meeting will come, but...we can always hope, Hae Eun, my daughter. But in case that we never see each other again, I want you to know that I want you to live, Hae Eun. Please survive...the life of a Magical Girl is very difficult, I know, but...that should not mean you should not live your life out like any other human being. Appa and Um-ma love you, Hae Eun. We love you."
The fog clogs my eyes and my ears, so the last thing I sense before the fog drowns me is the soft fragrance of my mother's graceful, divine black hair - calming, yet somehow nostalgic.
Something moist is pressing against both of my eyes. I pull away from it to rub my eyes, and the moisture is wiped against the back of my hands.
The moisture is my tears.
"Hae Eun?"
Antonia's familiar voice seeps into my ears, though it sounds slightly distant.
"Hae Eun...what happened now...?"
I sit up and shake my head to clear my senses. The thin shoulder strap of my bedtime camisole has loosened over the course of the night and is hanging off my shoulder. I glance at the wedding ring on my own ring finger and gaze at it longingly.
"I saw my mom, Antonia."
"...you did? In a dream?"
"Yes...in a dream."
"Oh..."
A bit of a pause.
"...um...well, er...how'd it go?"
"...I miss my mom, Antonia. I really miss her."
"...well...this might sound wrong, but...how can you miss someone who died right after you were born?"
"I think the two of us can agree that as daughters, we don't need much of a reason to miss our dead parents, right?"
"Yeah...yeah, you're right...I'm sorry, Hae Eun..."
Antonia hugs me this time. It feels nothing like the hugs that Um-ma gave me in my dream...but it still comforts my aching heart.
