1. This is a Role Play between myself and RipJawWolfFang. I am role playing as Light and she is role playing as L.
2. I have altered this story to that of a fan fiction format so it not in script style in accordance with the rules.
3. This story is primarily Light x L, but will feature appearances from other canon characters.
4. This is an Alternate Universe, but will contain references to original canon plot.

Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note or its characters. They belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

Part 36

Light's eyebrows furrowed slightly and he turned his head away from the detective.
"I know that I can continue to apologize to you every day for as long as necessary. I know that you took the loss very hard and I know that you will never forgive me for taking him from you. You've been very blunt to me about this already, more than once in fact." He closes his eyes and huffs out another sigh, his eyebrows furrowing more.
"I want nothing more to be removed of this affliction that dwells in me, but I can't remove it by simply cutting it out or by hypnosis...although now that I think about it, that might work, or help."

"All I wish to tell you in that is the reason why even now I do not wish to sleep though I am very tired and exhausted." He mumbles runs his fingers through his hair. "But there is a way you can lesson this burden on me, help me keep my promise even in death. Help me to explain the nature of Rues eyes. even if I can no longer tell him or help him with this in any way I will feel better knowing I found an answer for him... A reason that he was tortured for the first part of life..."

"We would need to get Misa back here first and foremost. I..." He tensed for the briefest moment, fighting off his other persona that decided to make an appearance in stopping him from revealing the location.
"She's... she's holed away 12 blocks from here at an apartment complex that... my supporters are renting out. She..." Another brief tensing, "She's the only one in possession of the 2 Death Notes. The shinigami, Ryuk and Rem are there with her. They would be able to share that information with you if possible. However, that may be tricky as mentioned before. Maybe mentioning him may bring the answers you want."

"Why don't you simply have someone bring the notebook to you with the shigami you think most likely to bend to our will and interigate them on your own... Me being there will not help the situation as they seem like creatures who will eater give information or wont..."

"I can sacrifice one of my supporters in getting the book that I am the owner of in my possession. You can hold him in one of the holding cells. As for me, I will keep Ryuk in the spare room with me at all times. Will you be able to help me move the Death Note in there? And... Can you trust me with it until I have the information that I want? Mind you, the Kira persona wants it in his possession, he wants that power and if I have it again, I could fall under his control."

"Light-kun, I do not have any fears for my own safety." He states rather sadly, "My life is of no value as it will be over fairly shortly without any doubt. The only thing I fear for is the safety of my boys... if you can guarantee me that then do what you wish..."

"Ok then. I just need to inform the task force members that a Kira supporter will be arriving, having called me and decided that he wanted to turn himself in exchange for amnesty within these walls. How they choose to extend that amnesty is not up to me. Before that, I need to call and get Misa to surrender Ryuk's note to one of my supporters and send him my way. Tricky endeavour, but when that supporter gets here, I need that notebook secured from him." He ran a hand through the detective's hair, having turned his attention back to the older.
"Please do not say such things Ryuzaki. If I have to sacrifice myself, I will if it will prolong your life to see your boys returned and graduated from the institution you all grew up in. I would do that for you. Sure... it may not ever make up for you losing Beyond or Nate, but you'd have a chance at happiness again..."

L shakes his head slowly, "I can never be happy... I was only extended one chance at such an existence and it is gone now... he is gone now..." L mumbles and pulls himself into a tighter ball around his pillow. "He is the only one who has ever known me... Likewise I was the only one to know him... It is not really you who killed him, it was me and my inability to be by his side when he needed me. when his mind finally broke and he ran off to chase down one of his delusions, do you know where I was? I was hours and hours away in a hotel chasing down a criminal who meant nothing to me. I knew he was sick but I left anyway, just as I had done a hundred times before..."

"You have your boys Ryuzaki. I have taken one of them, I cannot bring him back, but the ones that remain, all they have is each other and you are like... a father or an older brother to them. Be there for them, let them live to their potential. I know that Mello knows that I am Kira, You would not lie to them and would have shared this knowledge. If he wants distance, then so be it. I will not interfere. Just do not give up on yourself over someone you lost because of your job. B did not know that you were always so busy. His actions were probably a means to get your attention and it did succeed did it not? Did it not bring some degree of comfort knowing that your best friend was reaching out to you in the only way he knew how?"

The detective just nods slowly as the thought brings tears to his eyes. He cannot forgive himself for leaving any more then he can forgive Light for dealing the fatal blow.
"That is why... I am going to fight for those who remain... Because I clearly did not fight hard enough for the ones I have lost..."

Light carefully pulls the detective into a hug, bringing a hand to wipe a tear that had escaped.

"Fight hard Ryuzaki... because the Kira persona will fight just as hard against you as you to it. My self control is weakening and I worry that one day sooner or later, those chains will break completely and Kira will retaliate in a way that I will have no control over."

The raven nods and lets go of his pillow to cuddle into the younger male, seeking any comfort he can. what else does he have to lose?

"I am on your side; I want Kira gone, but at the same time, I want to help you out. So that is what I will do. I am just too tired right now to do anything. I need to rest up a bit, and I can tell that you need it too. When we are rested, then we can work on getting these things done." He pets the raven's hair and muttering soft soothing sounds, holding the detective close.

The detective nuzzles his head into the younger males bare chest, letting the warmth of his body surround him for the time being. He slowly let his eyes fall shut completely and his breathing even out. the ravens heart slows and soon he is trapped inside his own mind once more, for better or for worse.

Light settled into sleep some time later, losing himself in a memory about playing in the school yard and being bullied by one of the older kids. He was never physically assaulted in school, just taunted more often then not.

It would be hours later when they where both awoken by a very angry fireball of a blond boy.?
"I hate you Kira!" He snapped as soon as he entered, "but you saved Matt... and now your going to teach me!"

Light was startled into wakefulness, eyes darting left and right before settling on the very loud boy. He let out a tired groan and nudged the detective.
"We got company..." he muttered into his pillow.

"I can see that Light-kun..." The detective sighed, being woken from what was a very rare deep sleep. "What is it you want Mello-kun?"
"He is going to teach me how he bought Matt back!"
"You have done First Aid in class have you not?"
"Yeah but they didn't teach us anything useful! if Matt gets hurt again I want to be able to help him!"

Light sits himself onto his knees and lets out a long yawn and stretch before settling himself down. He runs a hand through his hair and lets his attention return to the spitfire.
"I do no mind teaching him the basics of what I know. However..." He looks back to the blonde boy.
"We need to get dressed first. You can wait outside until we are done in here."

The boy gives a loud huff which makes L sigh again. "We will be done in a moment Mello-kun please just wait for us outside." The small boy growls and exits the room to sit down in the hallway and wait.
"It wouldn't be wise to keep him waiting to long... he lacks patience when it comes to matters involving matt-kun... or anything else for that matter..."

"I need to call Misa and make those arrangements to get Ryuk's Death Note back in my possession. I'll need you to stall him until then. I will still get dressed, but I know you don't take long." He got up and walked to his dresser and removed his phone and setting it on the top before rummaging for new clothes.

L simply sat on the bed and waited for light to ready himself, taking note of the time as 4:21am. The small blond was likely up all night stewing over his friends condition and it finally must have come to a boiling point.

"I will just wear this..." he states rather blandly.

"Fair enough. Misa is not going to be happy with me, but the sooner I can arrange for this the better. I guess that is is a good thing he woke us up when he did." Once satisfied with the day's choice of clothing, he waits until the detective has removed himself from the bedroom before and waiting a moment before going to his phone and dialing the Actress' number, holding his thumb lightly over the earpiece.

The detective sat himself down in the hall next to his little blond fireball and took a deep breath. "Have you been up all night Mello-kun?"
"Yes..."
"Any particular reason?"
"Matt looked kinda sad... So I stayed up to watch over him... He looks better now though... I wanna pull that damn thing outta his throat... it looks like its hurting him but its helping him breath right? Still... it looks uncomfortable..."
"It probably is... but it will be taken out soon..."

End Part 36