Disclaimer: Please see previous.

A/N: Well the word is split on when to end this, so I'll be trying my best to give you the finale for Christmas. I would absolutely love us to break to 900 reviews in exchange, so review, review and I'll keep posting until we get to chapter 40-the end. That's one per day ;) Happy Christmas and thanks to all of you!

Warning: Material ahead rated T-M.

Chapter 38: Wading

Dear Hermione,

I hope you have recovered completely and are taking it easy at home as the healers suggested, but I know you are not and I am very disappointed in you. I have not sent you any notes back because you need not be worrying with them and because the first years appear to have begun a contest to see who can annoy me the most. Some idiot has told them not referring to me "Sir Snape," "my liege," or "Severus the Great Protector" will curse their tongues so that they can only taste earwax the rest of their lives. If you, Weasley, and Potter were still here I would find the culprit easily enough. I hope to see one of you again soon.

Yours,

Severus

She chuckled at that. Who would have suspected he had such a sense of humor?

Work with Severus on the book had slowed since he returned to Hogwarts. She compiled things and edited them, mailed them off for his notes, and waited until she received something else to do. Apart from that, they exchanged letters here and there. She tried not to bombard him too regularly and look desperate and to not appear as excited as she was to have a pen pal who actually wrote back.

It was just as well as, as she had more than enough to be getting on with in the meantime. Hermione worked during the week alongside Luna with the magazine and alongside Mr. Wellings overseeing the plans for her new business. Her new business. It still sounded so strange. She had asked the bank to not reveal who was negotiating to purchase the foreclosed bookstore. Her name had been in the press enough, and it wouldn't be drawing anyone in to buy. So far, they had managed to keep it secret as she meet request after request and filled out form after form. If she was a colossal failure then, not everyone need know. Bill and George knew. Of course, Harry and Ron knew, and then Neville found out, but he could be discrete.

She had not told Severus. She might be making a terrible mistake or the best decision of her life, and she was terrified he'd know which one it was.

Dear Severus,

Or should I say, my liege. I am so sorry to have disappointed you. Perhaps you should show me the error of my ways. I do assure you I am taking it as easy as possible. I have a lot of preparing to do as I start classes next week. I'm very nervous and excited. Sorry about your trouble with the students. I'm sure you'll beat them into shape soon enough.

Yours,

Hermione

In fact, she had a lot of preparing to do that day. Bill had sent word the loan officer had a talk with him, so she presumed he had also taken a look at her account- with her winnings she assumed she would have to put up as collateral- and had talked to Griphook. As it was, she had a grateful Mr. Wellings and an excited George Weasley's agreement to help her manage the business. George wrote a glowing reference as did the headmistress. She might have asked Harry for the third if he had been in the country, but Gringotts was a responsible, logical establishment that would not be swayed by fame alone.

Thus, it was time, she believed, for Draco Malfoy to pay his debt. His family had been trying to ruin her life, after all. One of the richest and oldest patrons of the bank, Malfoy's brief recommendation and- she nearly lost her jaw to read- person guarantee on her business' success would stand alone as security. She had asked him in her letter not to yet mention it to Severus. As she received only a copy of his letter to the bank in response, she assumed he agreed. All their words of confidence in her in the letters to the bank brought tears to her eyes, but she desperately hoped she did not fail them.

She wore a black skirt suit this time under new black robes, and she was perfectly dry, paperwork in hand as she entered the bank. This time, she had too much time to think it though. Her throat threatened to close as she was finally let in and took her seat across the fat desk in the shorter chair. But really, if the loan was guaranteed by Malfoy while the Headmistress of Hogwarts and owner of the best business on the street were confident in her ability, it seemed enough even for Gringotts... she hoped.

Hermione tried desperately not to sound young or nervous as she explained her plan. Twice she caught her leg bouncing uncontrollably. But organization prevailed again. She need not have feared. They'd be stupid, after all, not to give a guaranteed loan to Hogwart's brightest graduate, with all her connections and little experience. Her thrill of excitement threatened to escape as a girly squeal when he nodded impatiently at last, but she kept it smothered.

"I don't see why not." Mr. Pevensie. 'I don't see why not.' Since there was no higher authority on these things than he, all that remained was him to review the terms, and with those simple words, her life changed.

Almost as soon as the relief and joy washed over her, the doubt set in like cold talons. The quill felt heavier than usual when she signed the papers...it was just so much money. But as she walked out with a new burden on her shoulders so real she thought everyone in the street would see it, she also felt a rush of exhilaration run through her as the reality set in that she was a business owner- and not just any business, a bookstore. 'Oh, this is what real life feels like,' she thought. She was just wading in to her own.

Dear Hermione,

Enclosed you will find my notes on the edits you made. I am sure you and Potter have made the proper arrangements for your protection going to and from your classes. With Rex at large, you cannot take too many precautions. I cannot imagine anything else you should worry about.

Yours,

Severus

His last lines were to express his confidence in response to her anxiousness over classes, she was sure. His responses could seem blunt, but the care was in there, if hidden. She penned the good news to him quickly.

Dear Severus,

Harry is still abroad hunting him, but his family has is so gifted at concealment charms Riddle himself sought them out, and he has Narcissa Malfoy and Blacks abroad helping him. I do not think he would risk returning any time soon. He is much too calculated for such a risk. I will be careful, of course, but what worries me more is the complexity of his last scheme. What does he now have time to concoct? I don't mean to worry you though. By the way, I've just bought Flourish and Blotts. And it's done and done, so no 'Miss-Granger-that's-not-a-good-idea's.

Yours,

Hermione

His response arrived the same day.

Dear Hermione,

You are an exceedingly naughty witch. You say you wish not to worry me, but in the same letter force me to do so. And shame on you as well for not telling me of your plans until you had purchased an entire establishment. What do you mean you've 'just bought Flourish and Blotts'? Explain.

Yours,

Severus

She laughed and shook her head, stroking the cat as Ron made dinner, or rather brought in the his favorite muggle invention: Chinese take away. She could just hear Severus tone as he slowly forced out those words. Explain. She supposed she had better offer an explanation, so she wrote with tentative pride of how it had come to her, seemed to fit together and how she had prepared everything herself...

Hermione Granger pulsated with excitement. It shot right through her boots and into the stones of the campus walkway. There was a little concern magic might actually free the stones, but it did not. As she located her first classroom, not quite filled with half a dozen people one of whom had a speech impediment and one who smelled of cats, Hermione smiled; she might not be going to a top university, but where she was she could study what she liked, and she thought her parents would be rather proud of that.

She had a classe there twice per week in the evening and had to apparate Tuesdays nights to another place where she took a similar course under a different instructor: book making, binding, and preservation. In the meantime, she picked up another class at the learning center on business, one that could go towards a foundation degree if she ever decided to go that route. As it was, bookmaking was a fascinating topic as the muggles taught it, and it she took careful notes to research the spells and magic involved in the making of books for witches and wizards.

The night after her first weeks of classes concluded, she chattered away happily to Ron about the art and ancient practice of bookmaking, who was good enough to try not to look bored, then went upstairs to write every detail to Harry. When she went up to bed, however, she found something she had not expected sitting on her bedside table. Chocolate éclairs.

"You must come for dinner and tell me all about it or you're strain your wrist."-Severus.

She could not find time to visit him for several weeks, which was just the same since Severus had a lot on his own plate. On the day they finally had plans, there were flowers on the dining room table on Number 12, and something about them looked wildly out of place. They were a giant bouquet, burgeoning out of their vase with red and white roses, red carnations, and little purple sprigs of some tiny blossoms. It was beautiful, and it soaked the room in a sweet scent.

She neared them curiously, suspecting another grand gesture from Harry to Ginny, the latter of which had been in and out visiting Hermione, but the card on the table had her name scrawled across it.

"Thank you for the éclairs." She smiled at dinner. He only nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards she spied. "And the roses, though I have to say, it was a surprise."

"What roses?" His voice was deadpan, his body stiffened when she looked up.

She felt as if a dementor had sucked something out of her. Instinctively, she glanced at the rose over his shoulder concealed safely in its glass case. "You- you didn't send the flowers."

"Did you touch them?" He said at once.

"No." She breathed as if it were obvious, but then she had to think about it. Did she? No, no she had not. "Maybe it was Harry, or – or."

He was already standing, throwing down his napkin. "You can ask and I will ask Draco, but we both know who this was."

She said nothing, looked down at the table and the meal she would never finish.

"Was there a note?"

She nodded, not wanting to look at him. She was embarrassed; she should have figured it out. A hand lifted her chin to put her glimmering eyes on him.

"What did it say?" He asked, his voice slightly softer.

"It had my name on it, and…"

"And?" He demanded impatient.

She let out a breath, knowing she had to answer. It seemed so obvious now. "It said: 'Miss you.'" The words tasted bitter in her mouth.

His eyes were cold, angry. "And you thought it was from me?"

The words made her eyes prickle worse, furrow her brow in confusion. "Of course. I shouldn't have?"

His expression changed. "No, I-" He ran a hand through his hair, looking around as if unsure. She stood, tentatively touching his arms.

"Severus, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Hermione." He answered, his voice unusually expressive.

"Sorry for what?"

"For snapping at you. I'm always snapping at you, and you don't deserve it." The revelation shocked her.

He seemed to be berating himself. "Well," She smiled a little. "Not always."

"How do you put up with me?" He cupped her cheek, but he wasn't really looking at her. She hugged him around the middle like a child. She did not care.

"I have astounding amounts of self-control." She answered into him. The shake of his body laughing took her by surprise. She smiled widely into his torso at the deep sound. She did that, she thought proudly. She made Severus Snape laugh. She felt his hand affectionately on her head, petting her hair. "Let's not tell Harry." She said. He pulled away to look at her. "He is already tormenting himself. He needs to come home. There is nothing we can do. Rex is biding his time, taunting again."

"As you wish." He answered after a bit. She nodded, looking around his quarters. Now what?

"I've always liked this room." She said. "You know what the best thing about it is?"

"What?" He asked, not sounding the least bit interested.

"We won't be disturbed." And surprising even herself, she sat on the foot of his bed and looked up at him.

He stared at her, then shook his head once and crossed the space quickly. His hands were on her jaw, lifting her head to kiss her, his hair falling along the sides of her face, tickling her. Another hand clutched her upper arm, then her side, her back. His knees moved the edge of the bed. As it sunk under her, his hands were in her hair, tangling there, tugging a little.

His lips pressed light kisses to the spot behind her ear, trailing down her jawline, her neck. She closed her eyes, savoring it. Her hands fell onto his chest; she inhaled his scent. She could not really manage to do more than fumble open a few of the buttons down his chest.

One of his large knees was on the bed to her left, the other nestled between her thighs before she could realize. With one hand on her back as he kissed her neck then her collarbone, he loomed over her, reclining her back to lay on the bed.

"You're very warm, Hermione." He teased, twirling her hair between his fingers as he hung above her, holding himself up with one arm. "Are you feeling alright?"

She narrowed her eyes, smiling up at him. The bed under her was very comfortable. "You know perfectly well that I'm fine." She playfully slapped his chest, wiggling under him. "You wicked Slytherin."

His smile turned slightly menacing, and for a moment she feared she should not have mentioned school…but just as she opened her mouth to correct herself, she audibly choked on her words as his fingers grazed the inside of her thigh.

"Are you quite sure?" He feigned concern. "You are very, very hot, sweetheart."

She bit down on her lower lip, hard, sucking it at that word. His finger tickled her leg, inching higher up her dress and the soft inside of her thigh. He leaned down lower with painstaking slowness and whispered into her ear, his chest rumbling against her breasts. "Are you sure?"

She whimpered in response, squirming a little in her own skin. When she did, her core brushed his fingers and her leg rubbed along his thigh as he still rested on his knees. He rose a few inches- to observe the effect he was having on her no doubt. "What have we here?" He asked one syllable at a time.

She felt his fingers graze her panties for a half second. Her body arched as he pulled away at once, entirely of its own accord.

She ran her hand through her hair in desperation, the other clutching at her dress, fisting the fabric. He took her hand from her dress into his own then pulled the other free from her hair, sitting back on his knees. In an instant, his knees were on either side of her, his hands interlaced with her own as he leaned forward. He held himself up by his hands pinned at either side of her head.

His eyes were black and lustful over her, but there was humor in the corners and the hint of something softer as he looked down over every inch of her body. She already felt naked under his gaze.

She sucked her lower lip again. He spied it, narrowing his eyes and descending at once on her mouth. "Give that to me." He growled softly, sucking on it himself. When he released the swollen, teased morsel, she moaned. "It's mine." He nearly snarled, placing a chaste kiss to the spot.

She choked, helpless below him. Then, her intellect returned, and a tricky idea popped into her head. Carefully, she bent her knee, gliding it along the inside of his leg and coming in contact with his stiff crotch. She rubbed it gently, causing him to inhale sharply and hang his head, pausing, she presumed, to get ahold of himself.

"You're being a tease." He warned her.

"I'm being a tease?" She laughed.

"You're prettiest when you smile." He commented thoughtfully, inches from her face. It jarred her. It wasn't just a steamy moment then. He did not compliment her often, but he had in that moment. She had always expected Severus to be commanding and somewhat distant in bed. He was distant emotionally enough to begin with, but perhaps this was why he waited for this moment...

"Thank you." She breathed.

He buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply. The weight of his body shifted on top of her, his hands releasing her to drift down the sides of her body, resting on her hips. He squeezed there a bit. She wrapped her arms around his neck, attacking the crook his neck as he laid on his forearms. He allowed her attention for only a moment then tore away, laying on his side to her left with his hand stroking a line down between her breasts to the top of her dress.

He seemed mildly entertained by her torture, but his expression grew increasingly thoughtful. She took his hand, about to ask him everything was alright when there was a knock at the door.

"Severus?" McGonagall's accent reached through the door. "You're needed." She had no idea.

He crept into his office where Hermione could hear them talking but could not make out the words. She tried not to fall asleep in the comfy bed with his voice rumbling on the other side of the door, but she had been so busy lately and was very tired.

When he re-entered his room, the headmistress safely gone, he found Hermione sleeping so peacefully in his bed that he resigned himself to a sigh and cold shower, half hoping the running water would wake her. It did not.

Watching her sleep, he sunk onto the bed beside her and deep into his own torturous thoughts. He knew she was ready for him, and he knew he was avoiding it.

It was not easy resisting both her unwitting and entirely-witting advances and temptations. He was a man after all, and she was grown woman with many attractive qualities. In fact, the closer they became physically, the more he found her to be perfectly delicious. But he was becoming increasingly unnerved by his what had begun as a preoccupation with and was swiftly growing into an attachment to the young woman.

He had been nothing short of mortified when he found her after the duel, waiting by her bedside while she did not move. He missed her, he hated to admit, leaving his mood at school fouler than usual. He—though he did not confess it—enjoyed spending time with her. It was her steady kindness and patience, her sharp mind and dry wit, her body, to be honest. He was jealous when young men swarmed around her, or old men, or women with wandering eyes.

What did he think was going to come of it? Minerva had insisted they discuss the situation when he returned. He had avoided her until that moment.

As she expressed her numerous concerns, little did she know who was in the other room...

She had a point. He had not, as Minerva asked, let go of Lily. Hermione was much younger than he, and while she was by no means insinuating that he was some sort of pervert, she did raise the question of their compatibility. Yes, he was content with their relationship as it was, but would that be what Hermione wanted? She was young and had her entire life ahead of her, nearly endless potential. Would she want to one day be married and have children, things he had long ago set aside?

Was it fair to her, Minerva pressed, to let her fall in love with him and give himself to her only to take up her youth and ultimately break her heart when she had to let go? He knew he was not good for her. She grew more beautiful with each day, but he was nothing to look at and would only age more miserably. He was short tempered and withheld affection from her. She did not deserve it, did not deserve to help care for him when he aged before her.

It was not his fault! He had insisted. He did not even realize what was happening, still was not sure. He was never supposed to survive anyway, but he had. Not sure what else to do, he returned to work where she needed his help. What else could he do? He had helped her. He had never planned nor dreamed it would grow into whatever it was that made his insides contort painfully with anxiety and desire.

This did not even begin to address, as Minerva observed, the effects a relationship between them would have on him and his reputation. He gave them not a thought. Yet the question became: hurt her now by rejecting her or hurt her later by disappointing her?

He brushed aside a stray hair from her face and counted her breaths, thinking for a moment of waking her and making love to her then and there. To ensure he did not tie his noose any tighter, he sent her home instead and laid awake wondering how it was he could be so weak that he could not push her away properly as he had done so many for so long.

He wanted her. She wanted him. Did they not deserve to have what they wanted? Had they not earned that right?

He knew what he owed her, and he resolved to give her that. If he could not, having her would be taking advantage, so he would not have her. That was that. Now, it was up to him to do the right thing.

Hermione awoke at home hot and bothered and more than offended how easily he cast her aside or how afraid he might be to be found with her. Was he embarrassed? Ashamed?

Maybe she was being insensitive. She had no idea how or when Severus had lost his virginity, but she was inclined to believe, from what she had seen, he refrained in general from becoming too involved with anyone, especially since Riddle's return. Having relations now might be different and new, so he was unsure. Having lost the girl he wanted to lose his virginity to, he may not be used to sex being mixed with intimacy. In fact, given death eater proclivities, he might associate sex with some other perverse, unpleasant activities.

She went down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and found a pair of people sitting at the table. A pair.

"Harry!" She hugged him tightly.

"I can't breathe, Hermione."

"I don't care." She told him, releasing him anyway.

"I didn't find him." He admitted at once.

"No. His family mastered concealment charms and he's pretty crafty when he wants to be, unfortunately. We'll get him eventually. Just glad you're home." She offered.

"Exactly." Ron agreed from his seat behind him.

"You've just missed Ginny." Harry told her. He did not sound pleased.

"She didn't say hello." She said, disappointed. Ginny had been by to stay with her right after she was released by the hospital and had taken the news of her and Severus surprisingly well. She was quiet mostly and kept asking if she was sure they were seeing each other...as if a spell might have hit her to confuse her. But was she sure.

"I thought you were out." Ron explained.

"I was." She said. "What happened?"

"We're, er, taking a break." Harry answered.

"Oh."

"Apparently." He added.

"Oh." She repeated knowingly.

"She was pretty angry with me about the Carrow thing, and we've both been so busy we'd barely seen each other since then. Taking off after Rex without talking to anyone, checking on you, taking anyone with me, or letting her know I was okay was unacceptable. She said I don't have a girlfriend for the time being, but I shouldn't notice a difference."

Ron looked awkwardly away, to his credit not saying a word. Harry seemed to be more hurt by this than even he expected. Still, the three spent the evening together, avoiding talk of Ginny or Snape or anyone else. She laughed until her face hurt as Harry lost exploding snap and was forced to eat a suspiciously colored Bertie Bot bean.

Still, it played in the back of Hermione's head. Was it a fear of intimacy from his heartbreak or from some other trauma, perhaps at Riddle's hand that kept Severus from crossing that line? Could it just be her he was avoiding the pressure of being her first, bedding her in the school where she had been a child? It no longer mattered to her. Enough was enough. She was not a Gryffindor for nothing. Time to stop toeing the water and dive.

A/N: What is Hermione going to do, and what will be the result? Thoughts on their correspondence, Hermione's new career, the quality Severus time, or Harry's news? Please take a second to review. It absolutely makes my day! Hope you are all enjoying the holiday season!

Yours,

Elsie