A/N: Thanks to dahellraider, dragonball256, shawnster, ccp, guest, and Lusitana for reviewing. Hope everyone had a good weekend. Without further ado…

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Loss

When Anakin had left Padmé to tell the Council the truth he had been content. He was nervous, but there was some optimism about him.

The Anakin that returned to her was not the same. His eyes looked distant, lost. He looked up at her.

"You did the right thing." She said, hoping to comfort him.

"Then why do I feel so bad?"

"Doing the right thing isn't always easy."

He sat down on her living room sofa, his features twisted into a frown.

She sat down beside him. He wouldn't look at her.

She touched his face and his eyes met hers.

"Ani." She said softly.

Her fingers traced a line across his lips. The troubled expression on his face melted away.

She climbed onto his lap. His hands were at her waist and their lips met in an insistent kiss.

An hour later they slept soundly, tangled up in each other.

When Padmé woke up, Anakin was still asleep. He looked so innocent when he slept, it touched her heart. She feathered kisses over his brow, his temple, his cheek.

He shifted, eyes opening slowly. He smiled faintly.

"Padmé." He said hoarsely.

She stroked his cheek. "I love watching you sleep."

He propped himself up on his elbow so his face was level with hers.

"Hey, that was my line."

She laughed. "Anakin, no offense. But you have some awful pick-up lines."

He feigned offense."I…I'm wounded."

She giggled. "It's a good thing you're so handsome."

"Are you saying you fell for me because of my looks?"

She tried to stifle her laughter.

"I mean come on, Anakin. What else is there?"

He was trying not to laugh himself. "Excuse me?!"

"I'm kidding, Ani."

He smiled. "I know."

There was a silence and then Padmé spoke.

"I'm hungry, Ani."

His eyes lit up.

"That's good. I was beginning to think you were gonna starve."

She smiled.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Some shurra fruit steak."

"Those are some intense cravings."

She giggled. "What?"

"I mean for a woman as delicate as yourself."

"Women can't have steak?" She asked jokingly.

"Am I resigned to salads?"

"No. No." he laughed.

"Well, good. Make me some steak."

"Padmé! I can't cook!"

"That's ridiculous."

"It's not really a skill you're taught at the temple."

She pouted. "But, I'm hungry!"

"How about we go to a diner in the city?"

"Okay."

"Well, it's a date then."

She touched her belly. "It's a little late for dates."

He laughed. "What can I say? I skip all the formalities and go right for the prize."

She laughed. "You're shameless."

Jedi never had much money to their name. They didn't believe in material possessions. Anakin still had some credits left over from the Naboo mission. He used it all to take Padmé to a nice restaurant. He could have taken her to a diner downtown for cheap, but a former queen deserved better.

After three hours they returned home.

As they walked inside her eyes were on the city lights outside.

"Ani, I wanna dance."

He looked at her with a soft gaze. "Yeah?"

"On the veranda."

"As you wish, milady."

He went to their bedroom and brought back one of her portable music players, setting it on a table. A breeze came in through the outdoor deck. She was in his arms, swaying to the slow music. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, listening to the gentle beat of his heart.

He ran his fingers through her curls. His eyes were closed, taking in the feeling.

"Ani, I wanna have our baby on Naboo."

He smiled softly, feeling the warmth of love washing over him.

"As soon as this whole mess is dealt with, we'll go there. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"I can't wait to tell my family."

He laughed nervously. "You think Ruwee is going to kill me?"

"Maybe." She answered jokingly.

"That's good to know."

She laughed. There was a pause.

"Do you think it's a boy or girl?"

"How should I know?"

"I don't know! You Jedi are supposed to sense things."

"I have no idea."

He ran his hands up and down her back tenderly.

"I'm kind of hoping it'll be a girl."

She lifted her head off his chest and looked up at him with a grin.

"Why?"

"I like the way Pooja looks up to me. Like I'm her hero. I'd like to feel that way with my own child."

Padme's voice was soft. "You're my hero."

He smiled and bent his neck to kiss her.

He was unsure of where his life was going. But if she was there beside him, he knew he would overcome anything. She made him strong.

They were eating breakfast the following morning when Obi-wan contacted him.

Anakin and Padmé looked at the hologram of the Jedi Master on the dining room table.

"The Council has decided, Anakin."

Padmé held his hand consolingly.

"Do you know?" Anakin asked hesitantly.

"No. A meeting has been scheduled an hour from now. They will tell you then."

He nodded wordlessly.

The hologram disappeared and Anakin stood up. Padmé followed him.

"Whatever happens, I'm here."

He smiled weakly at her. She was there for him. Like the angel he always thought she was.

Anakin had never felt more like a pariah than when he stood before the Council that morning.

He felt like he was on trial.

Many emotions hit him. Shame, uncertainty. Anger. Loneliness.

Yoda was the first to speak. The diminutive Jedi Master seemed at odds with what he was saying. Almost like he disagreed.

"Committed a great wrong you have, young Skywalker. Aware of that you are. To lose you, the Chosen One, a great loss to the Jedi Order it is. But follow the rules we must."

Mace Windu continued. "Your deliberate lack of respect for the Jedi Code is not something the Council takes lightly and the prophecy surrounding you will not earn you special privileges. That said, the council has decided not to expel you at this point. We however have suspended your rank as Padawan. You are not to enter the temple for a period of 100 days. You are stripped of your title and should the Council allow you back in, you will have to re-start your training from the very beginning."

Anakin's head was bowed in deference. "Yes, Master."

"You are dismissed." Mace finished.

He walked out slowly.

Leaving the Order had always been a decision he was willing to make to follow his heart. It didn't stop the emptiness, the feelings of rejection. When he returned to Padmé's apartment, he couldn't think.

He searched the utility pack on his belt and pulled out a dagger. He held out his Padawan braid, and with one swift movement the blade sliced through it.

He looked at it. It was a silly thing, the braid. Made him look like a child. But as he stared at the golden strands lying limp in his palm he felt a sense of loss.

Padmé had watched him cut the piece of hair off and she knew immediately what the Council's decision had been.

"I'm so sorry." She said.

He locked eyes with her. "It's okay."

The look on his face told her otherwise. "Ani…"

"I have you now. We don't have to keep our love a secret anymore."

She walked over to him and he held her, his arms wrapped around her tightly.

"You'll always be my Jedi Knight." She said softly.

His reply was barely above a whisper. "Thank you."