"I just want to take my family home," Alistair pleads, "Just leave us the f- just leave us alone. We want naught to do with you, alright?"
"I'm sure I already told you 'no'," Nikolai says shortly.
"You might have done. I was sort of freaking out over you breaking Rhiona's arm, so I might have missed it."
"Then I am repeating it now. "No, You are not taking your family." Did you catch it that time?"
"You can't separate me from my family!"
"Evidently, I can."
Alistair stares at him miserably for several seconds. "You really are a bastard."
"Thank you," Nikolai smiles.
"That's not a bloody compliment."
"I am aware. But you are very negative man, so I get the feeling generic insults are the closest you can get to compliments."
"Fucking looney, you are."
"Thank you."
Alistair just stares at him in a combination of confusion and disbelief.
"Are you not going to continue?" Nikolai asks, falsely concerned at the silence.
"Nah, mate."
"Whyever not?"
"I aren't helping you get your weird Soviet rocks off."
Rhiona snorts with laughter.
Nikolai rolls his eyes. "If you're done begging, I will happily give you the choice to either join us or walk away."
"I'm not leaving without my family," Alistair says firmly.
"Not your family anymore."
"Listen to me, you blood-guzzling hell-spawn, I don't give a shit if they're dog-fucking cannibals from Raxacoricofallapatorius, they're still my family and I aren't leaving without them, no care what you've done to the poor buggars."
"Still not your family anymore."
"Kirklands. All of them. Alfie and Mata might have changed their names, but they're still Kirkland boys here," Alistair beats his chest with a fist.
Nikolai sighs, "Spare me that bullshit. Not your family." The temperature drops rapidly, the General floating like a ghost in the doorway. Rhiona shivers in her thin clothes.
Alistair raises an eyebrow. "I'm Scottish, mate. Ever been to the highlands? Wouldnt recommend wearing a kilt that far North, it really ain't good for your bollocks." So you know, 'bollocks' are 'testicles'.
"The highlands are nothing compared to Russia," Nikolai says shortly.
Alistair just sighs, striding past Nikolai and scooping up Rhiona, hugging the trembling woman close. "Just think of it like this; this is the only family I've got. I can't just 'collect' myself a family like you seem to be doing."
"Or you could join us," Nikolai suggests.
"I don't want anything to do with you," Alistair replies shortly.
"It's not as bad as you think it will be. I am very nice when siblings and children are obedient to me. Aren't I, Rhiona?"
Nikolai's scarf reaches up, stealing Rhiona from Alistair's arms and carrying her to Nikolai. He takes off his coat, wrapping it around her and mumbling a charm to keep the woman warm before he puts her down on the couch with a pat to her head. His clothes are simple but smart, a deep red buttoned shirt that has been fixed a few times, and a black waistcoat with faded gold trimming, something from his days of dancing in royal courts with little Princess Anastasia. He rubs his hand gently on the top of Rhiona's head, the gesture almost being comforting.
"Right, that's only slightly creepy," Alistair says bluntly, "You're basically fucking molesting her. You're not even trying not to look like a creep."
"Stroking someone's head is not molesting," Nikolai says with an eye roll.
"It kind of is. If I was stroking your sister's he-"
Nikolai's scarf flicks forward, knocking Alistair square in the chest and sending him flying across the room, crashing hard into the wall.
"You will not lay a hand on my sisters," Nikolai snarls.
Alistair sits up, rubbing at his shoulder. "Oh, but it's fine for you to hurt other people's sisters. You broke her fucking arm!"
"I fixed it."
"Doesn't change the fact you broke it. You're possible the shittiest fucking excuse for a Big Brother I've ever met, and I watched Arthur raise his kids."
"If you have some sort of problem, you are free to leave."
"Of course I have a fucking problem."
"With alcohol, mostly," Oliver chirps from the kitchen.
Alistair, assuming it to have been Arthur, flicks two fingers at the kitchen door and continues; "You're literally terrorising people. Na' that's not something I can just ignore. Especially not when you're terrorising your 'family' that's just a whole new level of wrong. I mean, seriously, I thought my family had issues."
"You can leave." Nikolai repeats.
Alistair stares for several long seconds. "You 'ken what?" 'Ken' meaning 'know', "I can, can't I?"
"Yes, you can," Nikolai agrees. Rhiona frowns at him in confusion.
"Okay," Alistair begins to back slowly out of the room, the General disappearing into nothing.
He gets into the hallway and turns and runs, straight out the door and West to Britain.