From Emmett:
Heehee
From Jasper:
What?
From Emmett:
i've had a cunning idea*twirls fake moustache cunningly*
From Rosalie:
MOUSTACHE!
From Emmett:
NOT AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT STEALING MY BABY AGAIN!
From Rosalie:
MOOOOOOOOSTACHE!
From Bella:
THROW IT TO MEEEEEE!
From Emmett:
JASPER! AS A SENIOR VAMPIRE I ORDER YOU TO GET MY MOUSTACHE BACK!
From Jasper:
I'm older than you.
From Emmett:
*throws his brother off a very high cliff*
From Jacob:
OMG I'LL SAVE YOU JASPER!
From Jasper:
goodbye Edward. I love you...
From Jacob:
HOLD ON BUDDY!
From Jasper:
What happened? I think i blanked out for a second...
From Jacob:
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? YOU COULD HAVE DIIIIED!
From Regan:
NO MORE NEW MOON! THAT IS AN ORDER!
From Rosalie:
Nana you can't catch it Emmett
From Emmett:
WAAAAA MY BABY!
From Regan:
And the moustache does not feature in this chapter! IT'S OLD! Can't you find some new jokes?
From Edward:
You're the writer.
From Regan:
Just...get on with it.
From Emmett:
Fine. I didn't want to have to unleash my evil plan so early on, but it has to be done.
From Alice:
Oh my god this is lame...
From Emmett:
WORLD WAR FRIDGE NOTES SHALL NOW COMMENCE!
From Regan:
Oh my god...i just give up. I'll write shakespeare instead...
From Edward:
Hey, look! It says that we have a Ballet recital in ten minutes!
From Emmett:
Thank god for the notes on the fridge!
From Alice:
Quick! If you go now you might get there in time!
From Edward:
Thanks Alice!
From Alice:
OMG you'd think that Emmett would win the first battle of his own war.
From Rosalie:
OMG JUSTIN BIEBER IS COMING TO VISIT OUR DOWNSTAIRS TOILET AT TEN OCLOCK!
From Bella:
OMG BIEBER BIEBER BIEBER!
From Rosalie:
JUSTIN WE LOVE YOU!
From Alice:
Bieber suuuuuuks!
From Bella:
*breaks down into tormented and disappointed tears*
From Rosalie:
NON-BELIEBER!
From Alice:
He suuuuuuuuuuuuks!
From Bella:
NO! RAAAAAA!
From Alice:
HE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKS!
From Rosalie:
NOOOOOOOOO!
From Bella:
DIENON-BELIEBERDIEDIEDIE!
From Alice:
It's a trap! Don't you see?
From Rosalie:
ITS TEN O'CLOCK OMG OMG JUSTIN!
From Bella:
OOOOOOO-MMMMMM-GGGGGG!
From Alice:
O.k, OMG is getting old now.
From Rosalie:
WERE COMING JUSTIN!
From Alice:
NOOOOO! ITS A TRAP!
From Rosalie:
GET OFF ME ALICE!
From Alice:
NEVER! I WILL NOT LET YOU BE BLACKMAILED!
From Bella:
DONT WORRY ROSALIE I'LL GET HIM!
From Alice:
No!
From Bella:
GEEEEEET OFF MEEEEEE!
From Alice:
CONTROL YOURSELVES! POKERFACE!
From Rosalie:
HOW DARE YOU STRIKE ME WITH YOUR POKER!
From Alice:
POKERFACE!
From Rosalie:
POKERFACE!
From Bella:
RAAAAAARAAAAA!
From Rosalie:
RAAAARAAAA!
From Edward:
So-much-pink...
From Jasper:
So-much-glitter...
From Emmett:
Must-kill-self...
From Alice:
GET BACK GUYS! THEIR GOING CRAZY!
POKERFACE!
From Bella:
RAAAAARAAAGRRRRRRARGHHH JUSTIIIINNN!
From Edward:
It's Bieber Fever!
From Emmett:
RUN! ITS NOT SAFE AROUND THEM ANYMORE!
From Alice:
POKERFACEPOKERFACEPOKERFACE!
From Bella:
BIIIIIIEEEEEBBBBEEEEERRRRRR!
From Rosalie:
JUUUUUSSSSTIIIINNN!
From Emmett:
RUN RUN RUN THEY'VE GONE CRAZY!
From Jasper:
You have to let them go Alice!
From Alice:
POKERFACE NO WAY POKERFACE!
From Jasper:
THEY'LL KILL YOU!
From Rosalie:
GRRRRRRRRAAAAARGGGGG!
From Jasper:
WE HAVE TO SAVE ALICE!
From Edward:
Why?
From Jasper:
...
Good point.
From Alice:
POKERFACE!
POKERFACE!
POKERFACE!
From Rosalie:
KIIIIILLLLLL NOOON-BELIEBER...
From Bella:
KIIIILLLL THE NOOON-BEEELIEBER...
From Regan:
SHUT UP!
From Rosalie:
JUSTIIIINNNNNN! WE NEEED JUUUSTTIN!
From Regan:
Fine!
From Bella:
Really?
From Regan:
If it'll shut you up i'll get to him to come onto to this stupid story and be a guest star for you stupid vampires.
From Justin Bieber:
Hi, girls.
From Bella:
*faints*
From Rosalie:
*faints*
From Regan:
There you go, neutralised.
From Justin Bieber:
Can i go now?
From Rosalie:
NOOOO! YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE!
From Bella:
*kidnaps Justin Bieber*
From Regan:
Oh for gods sake! I bring Justin Bieber on the story once and he gets kidnapped!
From Alice:
Thank god he's gone.
From Regan:
No, he's in the basement. Their going to keep him there forever.
From Alice:
NOOOOO!
From Emmett:
Oh great, i'll never see my wife again.
From Edward:
And you're sad about this why?
From Emmett:
Well...you got me.
From Bella:
Sing sing sing!
From Justin Bieber:
Errr, O.K...
From Rosalie:
*hyperventilates*
From Justin Bieber:
Baby, baby, baby oooh
From Alice:
MUST KILL JUSTIN BIEBER!
From Justin Bieber:
Baby, baby, baby oooh!
From Bella:
*faints*
From Rosalie:
*faints*
From Alice:
POKERFACE! POKERFACE!
From Justin Bieber:
HAVE MERCY!
From Alice:
NEVER! *beats annoying teenage popstar over and over again with heavy iron poker*
From Regan:
STOP IT!
From Alice:
Why?
From Regan:
Because...
From Justin Bieber:
I'm cute?
From Regan:
...
I'll think of an reason in a minute.
From Alice:
POKERFACE!
From Justin Bieber:
THIS WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION!
From Emmett:
It never is.