It's the warm sun of the next morning, that acts as my alarm clock. Soft dirt beneath me, rubs against my bare arms, as I slowly begin to wake. I'm laying on my ride side, rolling over in my sleep. Boone fell asleep in his spot a few feet away behind me, to my left. I go to roll over and sit up, but I bump into something. Opening my eyes, I wipe the sleep from them to get a clear look. It's Boone. He fell asleep before me last night, and must have rolled over to my area by mistake. I'm not mad or taken aback by it. Because of our heart-to-heart, I didn't really expect anything less. When you meet such broken people out here, there's a comfort they tend to subconsciously want. He's aware that I'm going after Charon, and more importantly aware of my situation now. I did nothing wrong.

Sitting up, I yawn and stretch. The smoldering remains of last night's fire still gently smoke. Black and gray ash catches in the light morning wind, and it makes me smirk a bit. Megaton isn't far, not by a long-shot, and I can't wait to get there, to hopefully find Charon soon after. It's the wanting to see him so badly, that makes me feel like I'm nineteen again.

"Hey, Boone…"

I shake Boone to wake him. Standing up before he wakes, I make sure to let him think he had stayed over on his side. I don't want to risk him blurring the lines between business and pleasure. If it's one thing I've learned out here, it's that no matter how unemotional and badass you try to be, in the end, you want somebody or something, to comfort you. Boone…after last night, seems like a man who needs a woman's touch, but is far too stubborn to find it. I'm hoping that will change when he gets to Megaton. Hell if I still knew where to find Lily, I'd hook them up. I'm sure they'd be good together. Boone would like her type.

"It's early."

He says as he sits up. I'm busy yawning and stretching and getting my legs to work properly for the long day. You'd think I'd get sore from so much walking, but shit, how else do you expect to get from place to place?

"Come on, Megaton is like, a hop, skip and jump away. I want to get there."

"You think he's going to be there?"

Boone already asked something like that the day before. I don't bother to remind him, but wait until he's standing and ready to go before I answer him.

"If he's not, then Gob is. Gob will have advice on what to do next."

"How do you think Charon is going to react to seeing you?"

Last night, during our heart-to-heart, I told Boone a short history of Dez and Charon. It was the summarized version, but he still knows a little about a lot now. He knows Charon was a ghoul, isn't anymore, was a hired killer, and brainwashed. You know, the fun stuff.

"Hopefully good. I got his gun and his armor, and I'm hoping that'll jog his memory enough."

"You act like he has amnesia."

"In a way, Boone, I think he does. Strange things happen to people, when they change like that. Like, Charon changed, I mean."

"Understandable."

We begin to walk, the anticipation growing and growing. In a way, I think I'm setting myself up for failure and disappointment. There's a good chance Charon won't be in Megaton, and even better chance he won't want to come back to the ghoul side. I mean, if I had spent the last two-hundred years as a rotting corpse, then I'd want to stay human, too. But to be fair and honest, ghouls really don't smell bad. People think they do, and in large numbers sure there's a smell, but really they don't. They smell like you and I do, like they do. Everyone has a scent, and that's what they smell like. Underworld smelt because there was so many of them. Get enough humans in one room and I'm sure it's stinky as hell.

Lighting a cigarette Boone gave me, I hear my stomach growl. It's loud, and obvious. I'm hungry, but I can wait till Megaton to eat. We're not far, and I'll like the food more. Even though by the time we get there I'll probably be too excited to really remember to eat. I'll spend a night in the common house, then head out again though if Charon's not there. A night of drinking at the saloon might do me some good. Gob really should take that place over again, it'd be a great source of income for him and Zack. But, I can see why he wouldn't want to. Nova…and all.

"This town have a restaurant?"

The wind blows and I look around before answering Boone. Call me crazy, but I swear I smelt blood. It has a smell, a very distinct smell, and the wind blowing made me smell it. Someone's dying, dead, or fighting something not too far off. We should move fast, so we don't attract attention. Anything drawing enough blood for a person to smell it, isn't good.

"Two. A saloon and the Brass Lantern. Good food."

"Right."

That's definitely blood I smell. Boone notices my nervousness, and tries to look around. There's nothing to be seen, and he probably didn't smell it, but I did. Something right now, isn't right.

"What's wrong?"

"Blood. I smell blood."

"What?"

I shake my head, deciding it's better to keep something like that to myself. A Deathclaw I think, is the cause. Usually they rip things to shreds, and blood comes out a lot then. If that's the case, then we better hurry to Megaton. There's no Deathclaws in New Vegas, and I don't think Boone here is equipped to dealing with one. Plus, I don't want any distractions right now. All I want to think about, is how sweet tonight will be if I can convince Charon to be mine again. I'll forgive him, for the fight in the tunnels, if he agrees to forsake humanity. I can honestly say, him as a human and the personality that comes with it, isn't something I'll love or can love. If he looked that way, and acted like ghoul-Charon, I would love him to no end. But he didn't, and that's probably why I didn't believe it was him when he told me it was.

As the day grows hotter, minute by minute, Boone and I keep a silent and steady pace with one another. Charon's gun digs mercilessly into my back, and I keep checking to make sure Boone has the leather pack that has his armor in it.

"Charon must be a big guy. I saw his armor on you on the boat, it's big."

"He's a bit bigger than you, height-wise."

"Hm. Strong fighter?"

"Very. Also very protective. I mean, not that I need protection but when you're out of ammo and outnumbered, he's perfect coverage."

I smile, remembering the Jury Street battle between Charon and I and the Talons. What a fight. He scooped me into his arms that night, while he shot his shotgun one-handed. I felt so damn safe, pressed against that wide chest, with one of his strong arms supporting me and holding me close. I hope soon, he'll hold me like that again.

"A man needs to protect his woman here. He'll lose her if he doesn't."

"Yeah. It's easy to lose people out here."

"Charon's always been with you, it seems."

"Aside from the five years I was in New Vegas, he has been. Never been too far behind, never been too close beside me."

I never told Boone, that Charon was there for emotional times, too. Right now I'm sure he thinks that I've mixed up 'love' and 'dependency'. It's okay, though, because even though we had that deep talk, there are things I like to keep for later. If there is a later. Like the tale of Charon being there for me when my dad died. I told him I loved him that night, and Charon replied with a warm 'I know'. It was what I needed to hear. Now, looking back, if Charon had said he loved me in return, I don't think our relationship would be as strong and close as it is now. Small things like that, really do have an effect on the future. A big effect, too.

"Seems like you've seen a lot, Dez. For someone whose been out here a short time, that is."

"Trust me, Boone, I've seen enough. I'm hoping now I can find a home and play the domestic thing part-time."

"Think of where you want to live?"

"Here. This place, the Capital Wasteland, is where I want to stay. I realize that now, after leaving for New Vegas and all. I'm safe here, because I know this place. Finding a shack somewhere and living with Charon, while still having the freedom to travel and come back when I want, is all I'm looking for."

"Charon will go for it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he will. We had a place up at Tenpenny Tower not too long ago. Didn't last long, though."

"What's Tenpenny Tower?"

"Oh it was this real fancy like, suite hotel back pre-war style. Ghouls live there now, mostly Charon's old friends. We had a room, a penthouse suite."

"What happened?"

"The Outcasts came in and jacked it. None of the ghouls got hurt, thank god, but Charon and I figure now it's easier for us to live on our own, rather than with friends or around people. It's safer for everyone that way."

"You're a trouble magnet, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I really am."

Boone has no idea of the truth and severity of that situation. I wish it wasn't the case, but then again, I'd be quite bored if there wasn't something blowing up in my face every few days or so. I just wish that something wasn't mine and Charon's relationship. Life would be a lot more fun, if I could consistently wake up to him every morning. Like it was when we first met. I want to go back to that time, so bad.

"There's people up ahead."

Looking up from my feet, I notice Boone's right. There are people ahead. Whether or not they're good people is the real question. Squinting my eyes, I smirk. Just two traders.

"It's alright. They're not Raiders."

"What's a 'Raider'?"

"Uh, a bunch of people who run around half-naked on drugs killing things. I think they're neat. I wanted to be one when I first got out here."

"And what happened with that?"

"They chased me away with sledgehammers and knives."

Boone gets a hearty laugh out of that one. When I was nineteen I probably would have gotten mad at him for laughing at my 'dream'. Now, I'm able to realize and laugh at myself back then, and my stupidity. Scratching my collarbone, I feel my fingernail scrape against the small speck of bone showing. It's not a painful feeling, more like an annoying reminder. Looking down, I'm suddenly reminded of a lot of things.

Mostly, though, of Point Lookout. Desmond left behind his mark, but with those marks, comes a memory. The memory, of Charon and I on the boat back to the Capital Wasteland. Roy was sleeping in the cabin, and because of his loud snoring I couldn't sleep. What happened because of that sleep, sort of sealed the deal on how much we meant to one another. Charon took it upon himself, to gently kiss each and every one of the bruises and cuts Desmond made. It's that Charon, that kind and gentle loving Charon, that I aim to find. No one else would even look at me, if they had found me with Desmond like Charon did. But…Charon loved me still. Loved me, and although it was my fault it happened, found no fault in me. Acceptance like that…is hard to come by.

"Ever think about returning to New Vegas?"

Boone asks me, and I look at him. Shrugging, I bite my lip.

"Sometimes, I do. When things get hard here, the thought of running back to the Mojave Wasteland crosses my mind from time to time. Why?"

"Wondering is all. Figure what you're going to do, if in case your plans don't work out?"

"No, no not really. Maybe I'll end up in New Vegas as a hooker in Gomorrah. Their outfits are pretty nifty."

"What outfits? From what I remember, they walk around half-naked."

"Exactly my point."

Boone snickers, lighting a cigarette.

"You got a sick sense of humor, kid."

"My friend Gob calls me that, 'kid'."

"The one we're seein' up in this town?"

"Yeah, him. He's a good friend. Has a kid named Zack. Maybe he'll come to New Vegas. Not the most kid-friendly place but hey, there's no Brotherhood and the NCR aren't ghoul-bigots, are they?"

"Depends on who you talk to. Some are, some aren't."

"Vague, Boone. Very vague."

He shrugs and I kick a small pebble. Megaton, it looms over everything just like it did when my ass got chased from the vault years ago. We're close to it, and my heart beats faster with every step. You know, I talked to Charon about going to New Vegas. He didn't really have an opinion on it, but maybe he'd like to go. We could get a nice room somewhere, or a shack. Gamble, drink, have sex and do chems all day long. Well, Charon won't really drink, or do chems, but I'm pretty sure the sex part he'll do. Maybe not all day. I'll have to compromise. It's gotta be better than risking my life out here, anyways.

This place, though, is my home. I've bee to New Vegas and ended up coming back. Maybe that was in part of not having Charon, and maybe it was just because, I missed my home. I may not have a permanent place of residence here, but the Capital Wasteland is familiar. I remember when I first saw the Washington Monument when I got back from New Vegas. Man, I'd never been happier to see that thing as I was that night. I don't think I could bear to part with it, this place, again.

Coming up to the gates of Megaton, I'm about as giddy as a kid in a candy store. Pushing open the gates, I take the leather pack from Boone and rush inside. He's left behind to close them, as I run like a maniac up to Moria's.

"Gob! Gob!"

I don't think I've been so excited to see anyone in all my life. I'm getting Charon back soon, it's so close I can taste it. Barging into the shop, I give Moria quite the scare. Ignoring her, as she looks at me like a wild woman, I run up the steps to where Gob's room is.

"Hey! Hey Gob!"

He jumps up from sitting on his bed. Zack sleeps like a rock on it, and Gob looks at me. There's a mixed look on his face.

"Keep it down kid. Hey, hey what are you doin' back so soon?"

Throwing my arms around him, I leave no room for questions. I fill myself with his scent, his touch, and bury my head in the warmness of my friend. My best friend. My only friend.

"Gob…"

I sigh, holding him close. I feel his arms wrap around my waist, his fingers trailing the bare skin that peeks through my ripped shirt. I hold him like this for what feels like forever. If I could, I'd make this feeling last forever. But I can't and remembering Charon I know I have to let him go. So I do, but I'm still just so, so happy to see him.

"It's good to see you too, kid."

Smiling wide at him, I hold his hands.

"Gob, is Charon here? Did he come back to Megaton?"

"Yeah…yeah he's here."

Gob doesn't ask why I'm not with him. He doesn't look me in the eye, and I let my hands fall from his. This isn't good, but I can't let it ruin my mood.

"When did he get here?"

"Bout two days ago. Didn't know you two…ah…"

Boone comes up behind me, breathless, and a bit annoyed. Gob jumps back at the sight of him, glaring.

"Who the hell is this guy?"

Gob asks me, and I wave my hand.

"My gun for hire. Look, listen, Gob where's Charon? I have to speak with him."

"Kid, calm down. Alright? Look I'm thinkin' you may not want to see Charon right away. Why don't we go on down to the Brass Lantern and have a few drinks first?"

"…What is it that you're not telling me?"

I have a dangerous tone in my voice. You can't greet me with bad news, when I've just been so filled with excitement and joy. It doesn't work. It doesn't sit well. Can nothing seemingly go my way? Gob sighs, shaking his head. Boone stays quiet behind me, as Gob brings a chair over. Setting the chair next to me, Gob lights a cigarette and hands it to me. He motions to the chair.

"Sit, you're gonna need to."

Silently I obey. Keeping the cigarette between my first and middle finger, I look up at Gob. He still can't look me in the eye.

"Is Charon okay, Gob? Is he hurt? Where is he?"

"Charon's fine, kid. He's doin' fine."

Alright. Alright then what's the big deal? Lost I look at Boone, but he simply shrugs. I think he's a big taken aback on Gob's ghoulness.

"Then what is it? Gob you're freakin' me the fuck out."

"Kid you know who lives in your old house?"

"No. No why does that matter?"

Gob sighs, shaking his head, he starts to pace. He's wondering about how to break the news to me. Whatever the news may be. I can tell by the look on his face, it's not good. Have I been so happy, for no reason then?

"…Kid…I hate to be the one to be tellin' you this…"

"Cut to the point, Gob…please."

"Charon's livin' up at the old place of yours. Lily…she's the one who rented it out."

I drop the cigarette on the floor. Gob rushes to grab it, before the cherry can spark a fire on the area rug. Speechless, in shock, I stare at Gob.
"…You're kidding me, right?"

Sadly, he shakes his head. Handing the cigarette back to me, Gob kneels down as my heart freezes inside. Sometimes…sometimes you feel so much pain and hurt at once, that you can't feel anything at all.

"Look, kid…I'm real sorry. I…I thought when he came here alone that you two…shit…"

If I smile, and I don't believe in this, then will I wake up? Will I be able to wake from this nightmare that I've been calling reality for so long? Looking around, everything seems to have a hazy feel to it. A trail, almost. I was so happy, so thrilled and excited just…just minutes if not less ago. Now…now this? Charon returning to Lily? He really…he really did it, didn't he? My hand shakes violently, as I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale. Gob's hands rest on my thighs, the squeezing pressure reminding me that I'm not sleeping. This isn't a dream. This is all, very much, alive and real.

"…I should have told you this sooner…maybe…maybe kid it woulda saved you the heartache…look kid Charon's been unfaithful. I dunno her name, but…maybe if I woulda told you, you wouldn't be feelin' this way…shit I dunno kid."

Unfaithful? When? The only time…the only time I wasn't with him was in The Pitt and then…Jackie. Oh, oh no…no…

"…No…"

I comes out a soft whisper, as my eyes fill with hot, sad and angry tears. My entire body begins to shake, as new emotions take over the ones I was so enjoying.

"Dez? Are you alright?"

I look up at Boone, wishing I still had my long hair to hide my face.

"Stay."

I say as I stand. Dropping the cigarette once more, I grab the leather pack and push past Boone. Anger, hurt, they're the things that fuel me right now. Betrayal, at it's finest. Charon would never do this to me. How could he? How…how could he do that with her and then come back to me? Is this even him, the same person? There's no fixing this. I can't see, Charon and I working through this. Not if he's human anyways. Charon the ghoul, never would have done this to me. But…but that was because no one wanted him then. If…if the opportunity was there when he was a ghoul, would he? How…how well do I know him, if all these doubts are present?

Running down the steel streets, I nearly fall as I hit the dirt. Shakily, I keep my balance as I jump over the pipe and make my way towards my old house. In there? How could he fuck Lily in there? With all the memories that we shared in that house…how? That one word, seems to be the main question these days.

"Open up! Open the fucking door!"

I scream like a madwoman, relentlessly pounding my fist on the thin aluminum door that was once my own. It vibrates and shakes, echoing throughout the house.

"Who is it?"

I female's voice calls, more alarmed than curious.

"Open this fucking door right now!"

I give it a forceful kick before it opens. Standing before me is Lily, in all her unholy beauty and blonde hair. My face is wet from sweat and tears.

"Where is he!"

I scream, not a question. He's in there, I can feel it.

"Who? Who the hell are you?"

Pushing past her, I force my way into my old house. It's all disgustingly decorated and the shrill cries of a child rise up from the floor above me.

"Charon! Charon you get your fucking ass down here this instant!"

Kicking over a small table in anger, I feel lost. Lost in my rage, lost in my despair, lost in everything. My mind makes a soft popping sound. Finally, I've lost it.

"What's all the noise about?"

Charon's human voice carries down the stairs, followed by his big heavy footsteps. Knowing I'm going to see him in a matter of seconds sends my stomach into flip flops. That coupled with my anger, forces me to run outside and empty the contents of my stomach next to the house. It doesn't matter much, there's hardly anything in there but bile.

"Dezbe?"

His voice cuts through me like a million bullets. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, my entire body shudders, shakes, and I can't get up. I can't pick myself up off of the ground. All I can do, is look over my shoulder at him. He's dressed in pre-war sleepwear. Pre-war. If I had seen this at any other moment, I would have laughed my ass off. Instead, the sight just breaks my heart. That broad chest that I sought comfort in, so many times before, is clad in red silk. My hand tightly grips the armor, and the black shirt with that armor, that I had become so accustomed to.

As much as I want to say something, nothing comes out. I open my mouth to speak, but words seem so lost. All I want, is for him to come back. I want to close my eyes, and open them again to the sight of him, as he once was. With his powerful arms wrapped around, and his guttural voice giving me promises.

"What are you doing here?"

It's all he can ask me, as he stands in the doorway with his woman behind him. I look so pitiful right now. Forcing myself up, I stand.

"H-h-how could you?"

I stutter, waiting for an answer as I use every ounce of energy to keep myself standing. Was it I was too demanding? Was it I was too cold? Did I cause this, cause him to run to the arms into another woman? Is it because I was never satisfied with the life I had? Why? All my questions, I know, will go unanswered.

"Dez, I think you should leave."

"Fuck you!"

Without thinking, I throw myself at him. Fists flying, I close my eyes as they make contact. The petty rage of a woman scorned. I can't help it, though. Leaving me would be one thing. But cheating, and then leaving me for another woman, without even telling me? Now that's low. That's low, and dirty, and something I bet even the nastiest of Raiders wouldn't do.

"Get off!"

Charon hollers, and with a forceful blow to my face, he has me knocked on my ass with my cheek throbbing in pain.

"Dez!"

Boone arrives in time to see the worse of it.

"No!"

I yell, grabbing his leg, preventing him from hurling himself at Charon. Gob comes seconds later, scooping me up and shielding the sight before me of Charon and Lily with his hands. He wraps me in his arms, hushing my cries with words of comfort and a warm embrace.

"Come on…come on, hush now…come with me."

By now, a crowd has gathered. Small, but a crowd. I fall into Gob, and hear someone's heavy footsteps. His weight against me shifts, and I notice Charon was taking steps towards me. Gob outstretches his arm, angry.

"You keep away!"

Gob? Is that angry and powerful voice coming from Gob? My Gob? His arm returns to embrace me again, his voice instantly quiet.

"It'll be alight, hush now, hold on. Come on, come on…"

Scooping me up in one fluid motion, he holds me against him like he would a wounded Zack. Gob forces my head into his chest, not letting me see the sights. I don't want to see, anyways. I don't want to see or touch or smell or feel. All I can do, is cry into Gob's white shirt as he holds me tighter than he ever has before. These arms around me, aren't the arms, that I want to save me. But I can't even move. It hurts, too much, to even think.