Forgive don't Forget

by Dayreadernitewriter

(AU)"Because I love you!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I close the distance between us my voice cracking with raw emotion. "I love you…so much. So much…that I couldn't fathom, I can't fathom anyone hurting you…and he did that…in so many ways...I didn't want to tell you like this…" My breathing is increasing significantly. "But you need to know…even if it's the last thing...

38. Warnings

AN: Wow…people actually enjoyed that last chapter way more than I thought they would!

I'm happy that you have realized that Amar is human and makes mistakes like everyone else. That's kind of the underlying theme of the story… Everyone is flawed… (I know I would have hired Nita and been scared of Carlos…)

Your requests for more dancing have been more than answered in this chapter! I HIGHLY recommend you Youtube the choreography and watch the dances a couple times. It will seriously enhance the chapter!

Rated - M

Chapter 38 - Warnings

---

Christina's POV: Tuesday (1 week later)

I used to have such an appreciation for Vogue and Vanity Fair…but now I'm all judgey and critical—constantly thinking how I could do better. My mentor calls it a "casualty of the industry,"—apparently designers all turn into competitive egocentric jerks… I really don't want to be like that!

"Shit…" I comment to myself out loud.

"You talking to me?" Tris droles from her desk in her room.

"No… Talking to myself…about myself, apparently!" Shit…the change is already happening!

"Okay," she responded disinterestedly. UGH!

'Okay?'! Not gonna ask me what the hell I'm talking about? Nothin'?

She has been acting… Shit… As much as I hate to say this—like Beatrice. Okay…too strong… Maybe like a more confident Beatrice. How do I explain this? It's like she's been quiet, anti-social and…everything is always 'fine.' Yes! Okay, it's like she has closed herself off…like completely.

It started when she came to work Tuesday evening.

Flashback:

"I don't know…what's your favorite gin?" this chick in a pleather (yes…pleather!) skirt and matching top (so…apparently that's happening?) asks me as she smacks her gum in her mouth.

"I'm not much of a gin drinker, but—"

"Me neither!"

"Then why do you—"

"Is Beefeater a good gin? It is, right!?"

"Whatever works for ya." Even a non-gin drinker knows that shit is garbage.

"Great! I'll have Beefeater and Coke?" Lady, you may as well vomit now and get it over with!

"You'd be better off snorting a line of Coke than mixing it with Beefeater gin… Why don't you try a Tanqueray and tonic with a splash of cranberry?" Tris suggests to 80s-pleather girl as she passes us by.

I look at her with what I'm sure is a super weird expression. She chuckles and just…walks away! Hmm…

"I'll try what she said!"

"Sounds good!" I say in my very chipper voice as I make her drink and glance at Tris, who has a content look on her face.

She came here right from dance. Maybe her endorphins are still running high? She's been working with Kevin a lot lately…but she usually comes home depressed after that… Hmmm….

After handing over the drink, I scoot my way down to her.

"How was dance?"

"Good. Kevin and I choreographed this new Rihanna song. You would love it."

"Can you please….finally…tell me what you're working on?"

"Can you grab me the Red Bull?... Um… Mostly partner dancing…" she comments while biting her lips.

"What…kind…of partner dancing?"

"The kind where he needs a partner and I fulfill that role."

"Role-playing?" I ask waggling my eyebrows.

She sighs as she pours shots of Jager into five glasses. "I suppose it kind of feels that way…" Now I'm officially interested!... "Relax! Not like you think… Christ! You're already aware of his sexual orientation, are you not?"

"Kinkier things have happened!"

"What I mean is… I feel like I'm fitting into someone else's role… Ya know?"

"No… Do explain, my love." I truly don't get it…

"Well, the choreography is significantly more…" She nods at Lynn and puts the shots on a tray.

"What?"

"Sexual! Okay?... You know I don't do the whole sexy thing very…sexily… And it just feels weird. But, I have to and it just—"

"Why?! What do you mean you have to? And…why have you been so secretive?"

"It's for an audition…for him. It's a new dance company that he wants to get into and their style is very…um… not me…"

"Now I'm smellin' what you're steppin' in!... Sexy, huh?"

"Yep."

"So…can I ask a question?"

"You're seriously asking me if you can ask me a question?"

"Yeah… I guess that was pretty weird, huh?"

"Absolutely."

I follow her quickly down the bar until she stops at a computer to run a credit card. "So…okay… You've been coming home from dance all sad and depressed—"

"No, I haven't." Is she kidding?!

"Yeah, okay… Whatever you say! Moving past your denial… Yeah, roll your eyes, it doesn't phase me!..." …Cue eyeroll #2!... "As I said…you've been coming home…in a sub-par mood… Better?"

"Whatever." I reworded it… Geez!

"And today…you seem a tad bit chipper!"

She looks up at the ceiling and bites her lip—a sign that I'm going to get information!

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it. Before…when I would dance with Kevin… Fuck…. It would remind me of Four… And now…"

I look at her blankly because I still don't know how I feel about the whole getting-to-the-bottom-of-things-with-Four. I know he's a good guy...and I think he still loves her… But, dude!… He slept with someone else! How much could he love her? But then again, he's a guy...a member of the weaker sex…so do I give him a break?!

"Now…?"

"Today, it didn't."

"Why?"

"Because I confronted Four at work…and as far as I'm concerned…everything is all good."

"Really?!" I need her to confirm this!

"Really."

"Holy balls! Thank God! This has been torture! For all of us! Shauna actually held, like, a team meeting and Mar and I were Team Tris and Uriah and Shauna were team—"

"What the fuck…" she says all breathy and shit while staring at me all mouth open and everything…

"But it doesn't matter now! Are you mad?..." I can't read her expression so she must be… "Oh shit! Please don't be. We just wanted to… I mean you've been really unhappy and apparently so has he and… Well…boy! Men have different coping mechanisms, don't they!? Anyway…it's been shitty, ya know?"

"It's…been shitty?" She's speaking way too quietly…

"Yessss?... Way shittier for you! I mean—"

"Stop talking." She walks away as I realize I stuck my foot so far in my mouth it is about to come out my ass. "I didn't… I didn't know this was all so hard on all of you. I'll do my best to keep my discontent to a minimum from now on."

"Wait… Discontent?! I thought you guys—"

"Nope. We're done. I'm done. I went to his office to give him a…"

"Give him a what?... A chance?... A choice?... An ultimatum?..."

"It doesn't matter… He didn't take it and I'm done. I can't…do this—"

"Wait… He still loves you. I know it! We know—"

"Not enough!" She throws a bottle in the recycling and it shatters. "He doesn't love me enough! He may think he does…but he doesn't… Love is more than just a…a fucking feeling! It's trust and…"

"Tris!" I call after her as she makes a swift exit to the back room. "Shit balls…" I say under my breath. "Lynn watch the bar for a second!"

She's pacing when I get back there. "I don't want to cry about him anymore! I want to be done…crying! I want to be done thinking! Damnit… And five hours ago, I was! Thanks a whole fuckin' lot!"

"Jesus… I'm… I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say. I'm sorry this has been…hard on you guys," she comments laughing sarcastically.

Be soothing… "We know it's been harder on you… I just wanted you to know that you're not alone… We're all here for—"

"Enough of the 'we' bullshit! Have you been…conspiring?"

"No. Just…" Actually…yes, we have been…

"Yeah… Let's get back to work."

End Flashback

I am completely aware that I could have handled that situation differently. And I have apologized for my lack of candor many times… But I can't do it anymore! She forgave me and said, "Chris, you're just being 'you'!" Not quite sure how to take that so I just went along with it. But ever since that night, Tris has been in voluntary solitary confinement. Well, not totally solitary… She's been around people…just not around her friends unless necessary. She won't go out for drinks nor any other social activity, she hasn't been working out at Dauntless and…well… it seems like she's just… Shit! I don't know!

"Tris?" I sway into her room incredibly casually.

"Mmm?"

"Can we chitchat for a sec?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Can you put the paints down and look at me?" For the love of God…

"Sure."

After several seconds finally she turns in her seat and waits for me to say something.

"Get mad at me!" I just about yell.

"What?"

"Yell, scream, call me a bitch…whatever!... And then let's get on with things!"

"I'm not going to do…any of that…because I'm not mad."

"Then what is go-ing on?!... I can't keep asking you, Tris!"

"It just feels good to lay low. It's not like I'm not doing stuff." She picks at her nails and doesn't make eye contact. Beatrice…

"You're not doing stuff with me!"

"What do you want to do?" Finally!

"Let's go to the gym!"

"No."

"Why?... Because you don't want to run into Four?"

"I don't want to run into…anyone."

"So…you're cutting yourself off?"

"Look, I know it sounds crazy…but the last week has actually been kind of nice. Am I steering clear of everyone?...Yes! Does it suck ass?... Yes!" Finally, she is giving me some emotion!"But…have I been constantly reminded of Four?... NO!.." I watch her closely as she gets up and circles the room. "Don't you get it?... Every time I see Zeke, Uriah, Shauna… Shit!… Even George!... It's like I'm right back where I started."

"So…you're ditching your friends over a guy?" Was that shitty? Yes.

"He wasn't just a guy and you know it... Is Will 'just a guy'?" she all but whispers.

I ignore that remark, but the answer is "hell no."

"I need to get over him, Chris… Can you please let me?"

I think about that for a moment…but, just a moment… "Sure… Just don't ditch me. Okay?"

She gives me a small side smile that doesn't reach her eyes. I haven't seen that girl really smile in weeks…

"Why don't we do drinks tonight after work?"

"Um… I can't."

"Why…?"

"Well… Kevin's audition is tonight."

"Oh! Where? Can I watch?!"

"You can…actually."

"Saweet! Where is it?"

"Hangars."

"Seriously?" Well, that's a letdown. Tori's gonna make me work!

"Unfortunately, yes. Kevin asked Tori…and she is all about free entertainment so… Tonight, Hangars is hosting an audition for the Urban Exibitors Dance Company."

"This is awesome! What time?... Can I call people?!... Will's gonna be there either way 'cause he's bringing me dinner so—Hey!" She is not listening to me! "Tri-is?"

"Mmm? Yeah, sorry…just thinking."

"You do that shit a lot lately."

"Think?"

"Zone out…" I go sit on her bed and talk to her more quietly. "You used to do that…a lot, you know? Like…B4…. Get it?"

"What is there to get?"

"B4… Before Four?"

"Chris… I don't know what to say when you make comments like that… Are you trying to make me feel bad? Worse than I already do?..."

"No!"

"You may not realize it, but…I know myself a little better than you think…and right now…I feel enough like my former self…whatever that means…and I don't need you pointing it out to me!"

"I said no such words…"

"You implied it—"

"No. I didn't… Okay, maybe I did… I'm trying to bait you and you aren't falling for it!"

"Bait me?! Out with it! Fuck!"

"I know you're having nightmares again and I want you to talk to me!" I look at the floor knowing she won't want me looking at her. "It started last Tuesday night to be exact…That's why I've been staying here…"

"Christina…please don't do that…"

"But, you are…having nightmares again…"

"Yes…They're different, but…yeah."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Maybe just…don't have Will stay here. Until I get a handle on things. I think I just have to sort things out—to get through it. I did it before… I can do it again…"

"You're gonna hate me for this."

"Jesus! What now?"

"You need to see a therapist."

"I know."

"Oh." That was…an unexpected response… "Anything else?"

"Can I have my playlist back?! Adele has this new song and I need to listen to it…loudly!"

She doesn't answer.

"Sorry… It's fine I get it. What time is Kevin's audition tonight?"

"8:00."

"Okay, I'm gonna head to the gym… Didja wanna come with—"

"No."

"Okay..." I walk out of the room looking purposely saddened.

"Hey, Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"You can have your playlist back."

"Really?" She nods her head. "Yeeeeee! Thank you, thank you!" Halle-friggin-lujah!

I attempt to accost her, but she turns and goes to her desk too quickly so I do a smooth 360 and walk out toward my bedroom.

"Maybe just not…Jar of Hearts. Okay?"

"I will totally nix all songs Christina Perry…'cause let's face it…"

"Yeah… But I'm pretty good at facing things… So…"

I peek out of my room and stare at the back of her head. She turns to look out the window and I see a tear spill as the sun reflects off it. I think she's at the point that she doesn't even know she's doing it…

My poor girl… She would hate it if I ever said that out loud…

---

Will's POV:

I look over the new project I'm heading up. It's a new build in Wicker Park—a smaller project, but I appreciate that. It's Four's way of letting me get my feet wet. Although he never really had to get his feet wet… Amar tossed him into the lion's den head first with the design of the entire Commerce building and then the Museum of Science and Industry. Yeah, but he is Four and he can pretty much handle any person and fears no confrontation whatsoever… Well, except for one unmentionable person.

I walk out of my amazing new office to go find Matthew and Nita to introduce them to the new Junior Architect…whom I've yet to meet as well. Real professional, Will… Did Four and Amar make a mistake? No. I realized it after all the amazing things Christina said to me when I told her…

Flashback:

"Knock, knock!"

"You know you don't have to announce yourself… You can just let your beautiful self in the door." She launches herself at me and gives me a passionate kiss that I really want to turn into something much more…but…

"Hey, I have some news."

"This better be good." She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me the chance to look into her deep brown eyes.

"It is…. Um. I got a promotion today." I don't know why I said that so quietly…

"Really?! That's great, baby!... And what exactly does that entail?" She plops herself on my counter and looks at me begging with her eyes for every detail I can give her.

"I am the new Senior Architect!"

I watch her eyes widen and I can't help but smile.

"Ayayayayayayayayay! That's fantastic!... You work so hard!... You deserve this! Oh my God! I love you, I love you, I love you!" She practically smothers me with sweet kisses.

"I'm just not sure I deserve—"

She clamps her fingers over my lips essentially flattening them.

"You do. I see how hard you work!... Do you know why we never eat at this perfectly good dining room table?"

"Because you work nights."

"William… It's because it always has those papers…all over it!… What do you call those? "

"Renderings?"

"Yes, those. Spread out all over! You bring work home every night!… You are fantastic and brilliant and I don't know because I can't think of anything else right now… Except…we should celebrate…"

I love this girl…

End Flashback

I straighten up and take a couple deep breaths…thinking about my grandpa in his underwear…and then walk over to Matthew's desk.

"Hey. The new associate should be here in a few minutes… Why don't you have a seat in my office and I'll go get Nita."

"Sure thing new way-easier-to-talk-to boss!... Don't bother going to her desk…" He takes a deep breath and narrows his eyes… "She's in Four's office…again."

"What do you mean 'again'?..."

"They have been spending quite a bit…more time together than usual."

"And…you have a problem with that?"

"I have a mammoth…gargantuan…monumental…formidable…titanic…monstruous—"

"Matthew."

"—problem with that… Yes."

"Look, just please keep in mind that we all have to work with Nita… I know you don't like her—"

"It's actually not her at the present time… I mean, don't get me wrong, when the Zombie Apocalypse happens and they come looking for brains…in my opinion, she'll be safe… But, I digress… I'm frankly, vastly and completely more upset with our boss… Whom I am trying desperately to respect… And why am I talking to you about this…?"

"You can stop now."

"Good call."

"Meet you in my office."

What the hell was that about? It has to be about Tris. In that case, I don't want to know…

I approach Four's door and although I don't want to eavesdrop… I eavesdrop.

"And, oh my God… After I got back from Bora Bora, I was just so disturbed. The people there… Four, they don't even bother to learn English! I mean, they want people to come to their country and they can't even bother to learn…like, the most important language in the world. They'll never get their shit together at that rate. No amount of beautiful beaches and water could get me back to that resort. So…awful!... You're awfully quiet over there… Four?... I know, it took me awhile to process as well—"

"Process? Sorry…what?"

I have to hold in a laugh.

"Am I not capturing your interest right now?" she asks as if that is some unbelievable fact.

He stays silent for a moment. "No. You are definitely capturing my interest, Nita. In more ways than you know…" Was that a snide comment? Shit… I haven't been able to speak Four, lately. "Do you have…a meeting or…something…right now?" he asks seeming desperate for an out.

"Yes! Sorry… It's just…you distract me so—"

"Excuse me, I have to get this… Hello?... I've been expecting your call, yes."

I turn my body as Nita exits and she thankfully walks in the direction of her cubicle while I immediately walk into Four's office. He has his phone in his hand and he's resting his forehead on his desk, shaking his head slowly. I sit quietly in the chair in front of his and listen to him grumble for a moment.

"…can't believe this shit…mgggghhhhh…burn my eardrums with hot pokers—"

"I don't recommend that."

His head shoots up and he opens his mouth to say something but either nothing comes to mind or he changes his mind because he indeed says…nothing—at least not what is on his mind.

"Taking lessons from Amar?"

"Yeah. The art of magical appearance… They're really paying off."

He huffs out a laugh through his nose. "What's up?"

"Just came by to grab Nita. The new associate is here and I wanted to introduce them all."

"Well, you just missed her!" he says with mock enthusiasm.

"Yeah… I saw that. Lively conversation you two were having." He laughs through his nose again and just shakes his head. "Dude… I know you can't stand her. Why the lunch breaks together and sudden friendliness…relatively speaking."

"Because I have a higher position now and I need to have better relationships with my employees."

"Does that include me?... And refrain from twisting my words into some dumb joke."

"Not in the joking mood…" He sighs and tosses his glasses on his desk, rubbing his face. "I haven't been a good friend."

"No, you haven't."

"I don't know how to better explain it to you than to say I need to keep my distance right now—"

"You've kept your distance for the last however-many weeks."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Can you give me any reason or explanation at all?... Don't answer that yet… I want to know why you broke up with Tris! I feel like no one has really just come out and looked you straight in the eyes and asked you that."

"You're right." He nods his head in agreement.

"So…can you tell me?"

"No."

"Does she know why?"

"No."

"But you still love her."

I stare at him, not looking away as he nods his head just enough to provide me with a positive answer.

"Then why—"

He leans forward just like he did the day he told me he never said he didn't care about Tris. "Will. You're one of my closest friends… Therefore I don't want to lie to you, but I'm afraid I will have to if you continue to ask me questions."

"Okay." I get up to leave knowing I sure as hell am not going to get anything else out of him…except… "Hey...does Tris know how you feel?"

I watch him puts his glasses back on and open up his MacBook while he gives me a noncommittal shrug.

She knows…

---

Tris's POV:

Please don't come upstairs, please don't come upstairs…. Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Beatrice?!... You up here?"

Don't answer… Don't answer… Stay in the closet and close the door!... Jesus…

"Yeah. Hey… I was—"

"What're you doing in…my closet?!"

"I was…uh…going to do some of your laundry… Thought I'd surprise you…"

"Really? Because from what I see…you were going through my shit!"

"Why? Why would I need to—"

"I'm gonna ask you again… What…are you doing…in my closet?"

….

"Huuuuuuhhhhh!"

I wake to the searing pain of a suddenly dislocated shoulder and the memory of Eric's bloodshot eyes when he caught me searching for cash. I start to massage it to remind myself that it's not real—there is no pain…just the memory of pain. I close my eyes trying to think of things to chase the nightmare away while practicing my nose breathing (Thank you, George).

My nightmares have…evolved—for lack of a better word. I'm not participating… I'm watching…helplessly… They don't linger as long when I'm napping, thank God. But, the mornings are a different story. The only thing that calms me down is imagining Tobias's strong arms wrapped around me… And as torturous as that is, the images just about dissolve and a near instantaneous sense of comfort and warmth floods my body.

I hate it. No, I don't hate it… I resent it. I resent the fact that he still has this hold over me. It's been over three weeks and even his imaginary presence still soothes me!

I flop back on my bed and rub my eyes, gritting my teeth in anger at myself for falling asleep. I got three hours last night! I'm fine!... Always…fine…

I sit up in a cross-legged position and look over at the picture I am just about finished with for Tori. It's pretty damned cool. The whole picture is sepia, but I added some extra yellow hues to the digital numbers and I made sure I took the shot right at last call. And as a little inside joke, I added some brown to the bottle of Bunnahabhain scotch that you can barely see in the left-hand corner of the picture. I wonder if she'll ever notice?…

….

I put about an inch and a half worth in a rocks glass and toss it back.

"Are you fucking shitting me?! Did you just shoot my Bunnahabhain scotch?!" yells Tori from half-way down the bar. "That is a 25-year-old bottle of scotch! A $385 bottle of scotch! You do not SHOOT 25-year-old…aged…scotch!"

My shoulders are scrunched up to my ears and my eyes partially closed when I squeak out, "I'll pay for it."

"No need," she says all of a sudden very calm as she saunters away. "I would rather you owe me a favor..."

I turn around and see Four with his head down and his shoulders shaking, so I walk closer.

"Are you laughing at me?!"

"I am indeed laughing…at you. Did you even know what you were putting down your throat?"

"Ha, well… No, not really."

I find myself smiling at him. He stops laughing and looks at me…and just grins.

…..

I shake my head trying to clear it again. I have been trying, trying, trying to push him out of my mind since I walked out of his office last week. I have to… I have a life to live…and if he doesn't want me in it, for whatever reason…then I need to move on. I don't care if he never said he doesn't want to…be…with…me… He also never said he does…and I refuse to live a life of limbo. I did that for the last three years…

But nothing…nothing…really works… He's still with me… I still feel…everything.

I think about him running his fingers up and down my spine as I lay naked on my stomach, leaving soft kisses in his wake just because he loves the feeling of my skin on his lips.

I think about sitting at his apartment reading through Anne of Green Gables while he finished up some notes. He got up and walked across the room looking down at me and sighing deeply. Then he brushed my hair off my right shoulder so my neck was exposed and went back and sat at the table smirking slightly. "Sorry. I demand 100% neck access at all times..."

I think about—

"Stop it!" I yell at myself in fury. "It's done! You meant what you said!"

My phone beeps as a welcomed momentary distraction. I bend over and pick it up with shaky hands, seeing a text from Sofi.

Sofi: The studio is open if you want to use it.

Me: Now?

Sofi: Yes.

Me: Be there in a bit. Thx.

I've been waiting for a week to utilize the great lighting they have at Dalilah's…and here's my chance. I haven't gone back there since I signed the contract. I know three out of the five works had sold—one for $175, another for $200 and the third for $130. I don't know if that's good or bad, only that it's amazing my work is selling and that Dalilah wants more. I didn't ask which ones had sold… I don't think I want to… I know I don't want to…

I stand up and bounce on my toes for a moment as Christina barges through the door laughing her ass off at something.

"What's up?"

"George got in the ring with Uriah and won!... Shauna was just texting me. I had to leave! Damn it! I would have loved to have seen that!"

"Oh… Ha. That's funny."

Normally it would be undeniably funny but given the fact that I'm distancing myself from my friends…no story Christina tells me is particularly funny. Ever since I found out how difficult it is to be my friend when I'm not dating Tobias…I haven't been inclined to join in.

I know they didn't mean any harm by trying to figure out what was going on… Hell, I wanted to know what was going on! I still do! No…you don't, Tris… No…you don't… But I can't get Christina's words, "This has been torture! For all of us!" out of my head. I'm not trying to be immature or make them feel sorry for me… Because the truth is—I understand! I don't know how anyone can stand to be my friend right now. I'm like Eeyore for fucks sake!

"Well, I'm heading to Dalilah's to use her basement," I inform Christina as I grab my art case. I finally decided it was time I buy one.

"Okay! Hey…I walked by her window… Guess whose art is showcased?" she sing songs.

"No way."

"Way, girl!... Can you, for once, show more than a smile when you're excited?! Like, bounce up and down or…I don't know…something…?"

"Not yet… Um…which one?... Which one was in the window?"

"First of all—plural. There are two, in fact!... The one with the lilies and…the one with the clown by the pier… Why?... Hey! Have you sold any?"

"Yeah…three. She took five so…you must have seen the…remaining two…" I'm doing the math…both emotional and mathematical...

"Yes… You graduated the 1st grade, right?... Tris?... Babe, what's wrong?"

"I need to go check on something… I'll see you…tonight… Okay?"

I don't even hear her response as I throw open our apartment door and run down the stairs toward Damen. Maybe she didn't sell it! She really liked it…so maybe she kept it and put a different one on display. Why do I want it back anyway? What the hell am I going to do with it? You're done, remember? You said it… You meant it… I meant it.

---

Tobias's POV:

Good God! Someone get me a fucking gun! After Will left my office, I immediately went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I have an entirely irrational thought of washing my eyes out to rid the visual of Nita crossing and uncrossing her legs… I was so obviously on purpose based on the fact that it gave me a clear view…clear, clear…of her garter straps under her skirt.

She's been stopping by on and off ever since I invited her into my office for lunch last Wednesday under the premise of "getting to know my staff better." And, of course, the first thing she says is, "I think you know me very very well at this point…" in an all too suggestive manner.

I have been subtly asking about where she grew up and what she did as a kid and…frankly, I can't think of any other way to get information out of her without her thinking I want to date her…or whatever the hell is on her mind! And I can tell…she already thinks I do!

Should I just come out and ask her? Soooo….Nita… Is your father the sociopathic illegal arms dealer Carlos Juares? What if she lies? Do I call her out? What if she admits it? So…uh…can you introduce me? I'm a huge fan of his work!

The responses she has been giving me are surface-level and uninteresting. She usually goes off on some superficial story or tangent about nothing. Fuck!

"Four?" Matthew stands stoic at my door.

"Yes?"

"Were heading over to the job site. Will wants to know if you and Amar want to join us."

"Amar is…not in…the building…" I sigh and realize I sound completely shitty. "But, I'll meet you guys downstairs. Are you all going?"

"Yep." Great. More time with Nita!

"Call Bud and make sure he meets us with the Escalade."

"Wonderful!... Will do!" he comments sarcastically.

"Matthew?" He turns back to me and crosses his arms, looking at me in a way I don't think he ever has—seriously…almost severely. What an ungrateful douche! You may not know it, but I basically handed over the woman I love, you piece of shit! "Is there something on your mind?"

"There are many things on my mind… But, nothing I'm willing to share…at the moment."

"Let me know when you're ready."

"Oh, I will!" he retorts like an asshole. "…But…with much more respect…"

I don't respond as he leaves the office. I run through my mind what he could possibly be upset with me about. He probably saw the way I treated Tris last week. I'm sure Tris told him…something… Hopefully not everything…

God, I need to let this shit go… It's fucking impossible! So just brace yourself for torture, Tobias. You get to watch her move on and do nothing about it… Until you're able to do something about it…in which case it may be too late…but at least she'll hopefully be fine…unless you fuck up!

I walk over to the window one more time, trying to acclimate myself to this horrendous mess of bullshit that is my view. I close my eyes and revisit the feeling of Tris's hands wrapped around my neck holding our heads together.

"Four? You ready, handsome?" purrs Nita. No one gets to call me that!

"Why don't we just stick to 'Four'…mmm?" I retort smiling through clenched teeth.

"Sure… Maybe save 'handsome' for some other time…"

I don't respond because I'm afraid of what I'll say. So I swallow the bile in my throat and put my glasses in the case, nodding toward the door. I escort her out and she slows down enough that I know she wants me to rest my hand on her lower back. So…I…do…it… Gah… I watch her smile snidely out of the corner of my eye as we begin to walk down the hall with her way too close.

I hear Will addressing the Junior Associates and I smile proudly because I can already tell he's going to do an awesome job.

"Zoe, I know you just got here and I'm throwing you into a project right away but could you familiarize yourself with the clients requests on our way to the site?"

"Absolutely."

"It's a girl?" Nita inquires insipidly as we reach the room—as if she herself were the only woman qualified for this position…

"It is," I respond curtly. "Ready, everyone?"

"Oh… Mr... Um… Mr. Eaton… You're joining us?" she asks nervously.

"I am."

"Don't be intimidated… I'm certainly not," Matthew states comically as Will laughs.

"Zoe, just call me Four, please."

"Oh…okay," she replies looking more relaxed.

"Shall we?" I offer the group as hold the door nodding toward the elevators.

Once inside I see Nita practically push Zoe out of the way to stand closer as Will expertly turns his body so that's not possible. I smirk and nod my head in appreciation as he starts a conversation about how Patrick Sharp was traded from the Hawks and Christina's near fit of hysteria.

It blows my mind that he thinks it's funny that his girlfriend has the hots for another dude…however unattainable he may be. But I'm a controlling, jealous piece of shit… Okay, maybe not controlling…but I want to be controlling! Thank God I don't say some of the shit in my head out loud…

The conversation was distracting enough for me to make it all the way down without causing a scene. And…now, time to avoid another scene. I spot Bud and make an immediate beeline to the front seat, quickly getting in and slamming the door shut. Normally, I would offer up the front seat to someone else out of courtesy and this time it would have probably been Zoe. But I can't stand the idea of sitting close to Nita. Even though close it exactly where I need to be!

"Hey, Four."

"Hi, Bud." As everyone files in I look at him intently. "You doin', okay?" I inquire hoping he knows I'm referring to Tori without referring to Tori.

He nods his head. "It's been a good week...so far."

"Great, man."

"Thanks… Where to?"

It strikes me that I have no idea which project we're heading to… So much for always being prepared! What is happening to me?

"Wicker Park, 5611 Damen," Will answers as I nod sheepishly to him.

"So…since the site is right by my place, does that mean I can work from home, sir?... I mean…Four…"

"No."

"You live in Wicker Park? Isn't that like hipsterville?"

"Actually I live in Buck…town…" he replies mimicking her tone of voice. "Way more hipsters… And yes, Nita…they're everywhere!... Be careful, okay?"

"I wasn't trying to offend you… Geez…"

"Never said you were… And honestly, I couldn't care less either way!... So, Zoe… Where are you from exactly?..."

"What was that address again?" I ask Will resignedly. Don't…tell…me…

"5611…Damen…"

I swallow thickly and can feel Will's stare as it sinks in that this new job site is fairly close to Tris's place—right in the gray area where the neighborhoods of Bucktown and Wicker Park overlap. This is excitingly…shitty… The fact that I could run into her or at least catch sight of her while she goes for a run makes my heart literally skip a damned beat… What I wouldn't give for a quick, agonizing glimpse of her toned legs… I have to bite down on my knuckle and stare out the window to control myself from picturing those legs wrapped around me… Too late… Messenger bag on lap! Ouch….

"So, you live by the job site?" Zoe asks conversationally.

"Yes, in fact… Two blocks away… We have friends that live over here…right, guys?" He is being a total smartass.

"Um…Yeah… My girlfriend and her friend, well my friend, too...—"

"Have I met her? Your girlfriend?" Nita asks.

"I believe you did at the Cubs game… Her name's Christina."

"Christina? Trisha's friend?"

"It's Tris," Matthew and I both say. Damn him.

"Yes, Nita. Does that cause you concern?" I have to bite my lips to stop myself from smiling at Will's comment that sounds exactly like something I would say.

"No," she answers casually. "She just wasn't particularly nice to me."

"Oh, Nita… Are you okay?" Matthew asks reaching back to pat her consolingly on the shoulder.

"Trust me… I'm just fine… So, Will? How is little Trish doing?" Ask Matthew! He knows all about her!

Nita isn't one to inquire about anyone…ever. She must have picked up on my distaste at her calling Tris, 'Trisha.' Be passive, be passive…

"I think she's fine."

"Didn't seem fine the other day… Right, Four?"

Suddenly I flinch as something grazes my ear.

"Sorry, Four… Hey, Nita? Here… I found your nose. It was in Four's business...again."

I can't help but look over my shoulder as Matthew actually honks Nita's nose…sound effects and everything. Somehow, I contain myself…but no one else does. Will tries…and fails. Zoe doesn't seem to know what the hell to do so she just laughs and Matthew acts like that was a normal thing to do.

I continue to look ahead and think to myself how I need to have a discussion with Matthew about being professional…again. It's a conversation that needs to be shared with Nita…but I can't piss her off right now!

Will continues to monitor all conversation in the back seats for the majority of the ride to the site—controlling it to the best of his abilities. I can tell Zoe is completely thrown at the odd dynamic… I can't say I blame her…

"Four? I'm going to try to find a spot on a side street—"

"There should be two spots open down on Parkland," Will adds. "Tris and Christina don't have cars. Remember where they live?" He points Bud in the direction of their street as we all get out of the SUV.

"Thanks, Will. Text me when you're ready."

Will nods his head. Shit… I should have suggested that…

"Thanks. I didn't think about that—"

"Pshhhh! Why would you?!—"

"Can I speak to you, Matthew?" Will asks sternly as he pulls him aside hopefully for a verbal beat down while the rest of us all start walking toward the site.

Once we get there, I pretty much stand back and watch Will. This is the perfect first job for him. The building is a complete renovation and restoration. The customer wants the building brought back up to code (no shit) and completely renovated on the inside but restored on the outside. I walk the perimeter of the grand entryway and make notations of the molding and framing. I go closer and brush off the dust, inspecting the grain of the wood and it is surprisingly mahogany—very intricately beveled mahogany wood.

"Will?"

"Yeah."

"Make sure The Devonshires know the molding is mahogany…and if they don't care, then get a salvage crew in here and we'll store it."

I'm secretly hoping they don't want it. In Winnetka, Marcus's house had all white trim and I always felt it made the house feel cold. I'm sure it coincides with my emotions on that particular residence as well…

Then the first restoration I ever did in college was on an old brownstone toward the South side. It had all mahogany wood through the entire home. After clearing the place of all mold and asbestos, stabilizing the foundation, replacing the roof, refurbishing the floors, painting…and a myriad of other problems and hurtles which added quite a bit to my education—the place felt like home: warm, inviting. I have to admit that was the first time the thought of family ever crossed my mind…even though the thought was fleeting. The thought that did stay with me was that this was the type of house I would want to live in…most likely alone, but live in nonetheless. Seems as though that may just be the case anyway…

"Got it. Hey, guys? Why don't you all walk around and take a look. See what could be salvageable." Will suggests. "Meet back down here in 20 minutes."

The thought of my living a life alone causes me a momentary bought of vertigo…or maybe it's the mold, either way I need to get outside.

"I'll be…right back." Will nods his head with a worried look on his face. "I'm fine," I say curtly to which he rolls his eyes. I deserved that….

Once outside I take a deep breath of pure refreshing…city air. Okay…not totally refreshing, but a vast improvement. I start walking West down the street getting lost in my thoughts.

I know I need to contact Marcus…make sure he is keeping up his end of the bargain by keeping Eric at bay. Also, keeping him in the 'know' (at least the bullshit version) could be beneficial… But I can't be too forthcoming with my happenings…he would suspect something is up.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out assuming it's Will…but it isn't.

Clare: Are you available next week?

I saw her at the gym a few weeks back and waved. She didn't even wave back, she just turned around and went back in the locker room and I haven't heard from her since. It still bothers me that I didn't go after her… But, Nita was standing right there and I did not want to cross paths. Plus, I had just broken up with Tris. I would have been absolutely no help to her… I tried texting several times. I even called her, which is weird for me…but I haven't heard back.

Me: Definitely. Lmk when.

Shit… Does she know what LMK means?

Clare: Wednesday? 4:00?

Apparently.

Me: See you then.

I put my phone back in my pocket and wallow in my thoughts about how much of an asshole I am because I didn't go after her. I've been making a habit of not going after women lately.

Fuck…it's hot out! I decide I need instant air-conditioning so I walk toward the nearest shop and see some bullshit sign with annoying mantras and crap written on it. "Slow down… Take a deep breath and open your eyes! What you crave may be right in front of you!"

I shake my head at the ridiculousness of that. "Fucking dumb way to get someone to go into…"

I don't finish my sentence because I can't….

---

Tris's POV:

I have my watercolors spread on the floor in front of me as I mix them with the hope of making them meld together, but not completely… And it's not working… Damn it!

Maybe I'm being an idiot. I realize the sane people in the world know that water and photo paper don't mix…but I am DETERMINED to find a way!

I reach over the paints to grab a paper towel so I can dab up some of the water. Maybe I'm using too much… Before I am even capable of having a second thought, I feel wetness pooling under my knee.

"Shit!" I screech as I look down and see I knocked over the small cup of water that I had just rinsed my blue brush with. The dark blue water spread quickly and had already reached the corner of the photo, which I stupidly left on the floor.

"More experimentation?" I look up and see Sofi standing half way down the stairs.

"Noooo….," I whine as I sit on my butt resting my forearms on my knees and hanging my head. "I'm a total ass and I spilled friggin' water on it."

"I'll grab you a cloth."

"Thank you," I reply as she glides back up the stairs. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never 'glide.' It's truly not in me…."Jesus," I say to myself as I get up on my knees and appraise my fuck-up.

I purse my lips and see that the water has spread thinner and thinner and… Hmm. It's soaking in through the back of the photo…but it isn't distorting the image. It's just making the background color change…

"Tris?"

"Hmm?..." Sofi holds out a cloth for me. When did she get here? "Oh, thanks… Ya know… What do you think?" I gesture toward the photo.

She purses her lips but somehow makes it look sexy.

"Try to spread some more of the color…"

"I'd have to move it… It'll fuck up the—Yeah, okay." In response to Sofi's eyebrow raise because it's already fucked up, I slowly move the photo to the side and up.

"Wait! Keep sliding it…and then lift it gradually. Here…"

She stands on the other side of the 16 X 18 photograph and we both move it across the floor while slowly raising it. The water has spread enough where it doesn't drip off the paper and Sofi and I stand and watch the remainder soak through leaving a trail of dark blue from the bottom right corner to light blue in the top left corner. I glance up and see Sofi smiling brightly.

"I helped!" she emits excitedly.

I laugh out loud at her childish remark that makes me feel so damned comfortable.

"You did!... Now what?"

"Um…"

"We need to let it dry. But, I don't want to fuck it up—"

"Tris. This whole thing is one big fuck up," she says poignantly.

"Good point. Let's just lay it flat…over there—"

"What the…hell did you two do?" Dalilah exalts from the stairs denoting the mess of blue on the basement floor.

Sofi and I look at each other and smile.

"We fucked up," she comments dryly while starting to walk backward to lay the photo on the ground. I like this chick…

"You know… I've never named a photo before…" I comment winking which makes her smile.

"Just clean this disaster area up. I don't keep FEMA on speed dial, you know!"

I nod in acceptance. "Sorry about that—" And…my ass bumps right into a stack of canvases. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dominos… Just…dominos…

The three of us just stand and watch canvas after canvas collapse on top of each other. Once the last one has slid to the floor and we are left standing awkwardly staring at them…I decide to apologize.

"Dalilah… I'm…so…"

"Dali, you've been meaning to clean house for years… Here's your chance. Come on, Tris."

"Yes… I will help, yes," I say tentatively tip-toeing over to the canvases keeping my wary eyes on Dalilah.

She notices and rolls her eyes at me as she comes over to help as well. Sofi starts to sort through them, putting broken or unfinished work in one pile and finished work nicely on the wall for Dalilah to inspect. After we play an hour of trash, donate and save. I sit back on my butt to uncover another group, sliding each gently over to Sofi.

Just as Sofi reaches to take a small 8 X 10 out of my hands…something stops me. It's the strangest feeling…almost like a tap on the shoulder. I turn my head in the direction of the sense and I'm met with immediate goose bumps. I yank the picture back roughly, surprising even myself as Sofi and Dalilah look at me probably wondering if I'm off my rocker.

My eyes drag over the painting. The entire thing is done in acrylic paint—dark blue, midnight blue, in fact. Except the left side is lighter… Large brush strokes are used and I can see small flecks of brown purposefully placed and woven into each stroke.

"There's another picture in there," Dalilah comments while gazing at another painting.

"What?"

"Hold it up to the light."

I do as I'm told and I see that indeed Dalilah is correct. There is a sketch…probably done in charcoal—

"The artist didn't want her husband to know she had talent…so she hid it. It always intrigued me… She epitomized the expression 'Art imitates life.'"

"Wow…" I whisper. "How did she achieve that?"

"Charcoal pencil…sealer…then acrylic paint." She holds up her glasses and looks through them from afar. "That's her son…"

I hold it up to the light again to inspect the hidden sketch. A chill goes through my body unlike any I've ever felt as my fingers involuntarily become glued to the edges of the canvas. My muscles tense up and my eyes burn as I realize I'm looking at a picture of a boy with dark hair and deep soulful eyes, he has an expression on his face that makes him look wise beyond his years…scrutinizing yet thoughtful. I know in my heart I would recognize this face even if I were half-way through senility—It's Tobias.

Suddenly I drop it and put my hands up in the air as if it had just burned them. I don't know why but I'm hit with an overwhelming urge to run.

"Tris?" Sofi asks softly as she reaches for the painting. "Don't touch it," I snap.

"I won't. But there's something written on the back… Look…"

With trembling hands I can't control I turn the canvas over and see an excerpt written lightly in charcoal pencil:

My dearest Tobias…

If you ever fall in love…

Fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color and just how you like your coffee.

Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it.

Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest just to hear your heart beat.

Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know.

Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place.

Fall in love with someone who would never ever want to hurt you.

Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and thinks you're perfect just the way you are.

Fall in love with someone who thinks that you're the one they would love to wake up to each day. -Anonymous

Promise me that…

I love you, my baby boy.

Love, Mom

"Tris! You're blubbering all over my art—"

"Evelyn Eaton," I breath out roughly.

"Her pseudonym was Evelyn Johnson. But, yes. You…knew her?"

"No."

"Then how—"

"Which photos sold?"

"Photos? What photos?"

"Of mine!… Which…which ones?" I exalt with clenched hands and closed eyes.

"The lights on the lake, the one with the old gas station sign—You really need to start naming your pictures, my dear—"

"And?!" I grit out in frustration at her crabby ass.

"And Mr. Mysterious. It was the first one to sell…"

My feet are asleep from sitting on them and suddenly my elbows are in pain as they hit concrete. But the wetness dripping down my arms cools them off quicker than expected…

Flashback:

What could be so horrible that he can't tell me? Christ! Is someone plotting my murder or something!? Enough with the over dramatics!

Give him another minute…just one more minute… Maybe he'll tell me if I just stay here… Then he'll have to, right? No…he won't. It'll just make him be cruel to me and I can see it in his eyes—he doesn't want that….

"I'm not going to beg you to tell me the truth…" I'm holding our heads together as if that'll somehow give me better insight as to what's going on in his brain. Suddenly I feel the weight of his strong hands clinging to my wrists and I think if he held on any tighter they would snap. "I'm done with that. You can take whatever the hell is really going on here and shove it up your ass. I can even forgive you for that! But I've learned enough lessons in my life to know this—I won't hate you."

"You won't?" he asks thickly as if that's unbelievable. This man has no idea how much I love him…

"No. I could never hate you… You saved me…." I take a breath hoping he understood that nearly inhuman sound as words. "…Made me believe things about myself that I never had… and thought I never would…"

This is it. This is going to be it. I need to get off this merry-go-round that is my life. Say it, Tris.

"But I'll never get close enough for you to hurt me again… I can't let my forgiveness become…foolishness."

I feel his shoulders tense and his breathing becoming deeper as I lift my head to look into his eyes one more time. It surprises how much they…mirror my own. I dive deep into his irises. They look like a deep blue galaxy of black stars with the exception of one small flit of brown. His shoulders slump and I see the silicone-like build-up of a tear under his eye. I've never seen him cry over me and I wonder how long he would be able to hold that tear back in order for me to not see it…ever. I decide to take that chance away from him and I gently run my thumb under his eye, setting it free and watching it curl down my wrist and beyond. Well…that's it…

I step off the bed trying to stave off my soon-to-be-lost bodily control and move slowly out of the room.

"Tris…?" he breathes out wearily. "I never said it… Just remember… I never…said it. Please…"

End Flashback

I didn't mean it… I didn't mean it… I thought I did…every word. But, I didn't… I didn't. I want to mean it… But, I didn't. I didn't.

---

Tobias's POV:

Dalilah's.

I see the sign from across the street. I look up at the sky and bite my bottom lip until it hurts, trying to fight the urge to rush across the street to experience just one small piece of Tris. I turn to walk back to the job site keeping my head down until I see the rest of the group. Fuck…

Matthew is talking animatedly and fucking annoyingly to poor Zoe, who probably thinks he's a total jackass. Because he is!

"Yeah…we don't have these great shops in Wisconsin. Pretty sure some diners use cow-shit for coffee beans!... Hell, I drank it for years—"

"Explains a lot," I interject as they get closer. It just came out and I couldn't help it. It felt great!

"Four. Welcome to Grounds. Remember the place Tris and I had coffee?"

"I remember it well, thank you, Matthew." Dick!

"Gross…. I hate coffee…" What the hell did she just say? What an IDIOT! "…They better have organic cranberry green tea—"

"Nita?...You do know complaining doesn't burn calories, right?... Wait, maybe…" Matthew stops and appraises her face. "Yes… You should detox. Green tea for Nita!"

They all file in and Will pulls me aside. "You stay out here."

"Why?"

"Because when your head explodes, I don't want your brains all over my newly tailored suit." He brushes down the front of his jacket. "Like it?"

"It suits you."

"Was…that…a…joke?"

"Fuck… I really want to take credit…but 'no.'" I get a closer look at his suit. Hmm. "It really does look nice on you."

"Thanks… I don't know how the guy does the inseam, but it fits like a dream…"

We stand there as we reflect on our awkward exchange.

"I'm just going to pretend I never said that…" Will finally says looking away from me.

"Yes, do that…. I'll do the same."

"Deal…." Why are we still standing here?

"Go inside, Will."

"Oh, right…" He finally opens the door to walk in but sticks his head back out. "That's Tris's work in the window… I know you're dying! I won't judge and I'm discreet."

I nod my head because that sealed the deal. I start across the street yelling over my shoulder. "Will, that suit fits you like a dream!"

"Thanks, buddy!"

I did it! …I made a joke (kind of).

I'm so excited to see her photography that I nearly run through the shop window. Now that would be a site to behold… I get an insta-grin on my face as I see the picture of the lilies…and then a bout of sadness as I see one I don't recognize next to it. That means I wasn't around to see it—to see her nervous face as she worries her lips, waiting for me to say something. Shit… She may not even do that anymore. This has probably given her quite a bit of confidence and I can't help but smile at that.

I enter the gallery and go right to the front window hoping others will be on display nearby, but I don't see them so I start to browse. Some of this shit is really weird—

"Interested in anything in particular?" A woman about my age approaches me.

"Yes… Uh…" Do you have anything by Tris Prior? But she probably knows Tris and will tell her some dark-haired, tall asshole in a suit was here… What if Tris puts two and two together… Damn all of the BULLSHIT! I just want to see my girlfriend's art! She's not your girlfriend, dick. "…I'm interested in photography."

"Well…we have plenty of that." Her voice is oddly soothing. I can tell she's nice. That's an incredibly odd thought…

I follow her to the other side of the gallery and see a woman with a large purple draping dress thing on, inspecting a picture quite precisely. She turns to face us and her eyeballs look three times as big because of some sort of glasses she has on.

"Dalilah, you're frightening the possible customers." Apparently, that's Dalilah…

"I can't figure out how she did this!"

"And you're too proud to ask?"

"Hmmph."

"Anyway…" The younger woman rolls her eyes. "…here we are. What particular style are you interested—"

"That one." I clench my jaw as I see that the photo the crazy lady is dissecting is the one Tris did of the bridge…with her own blood. "I want that one."

I bite my tongue so hard I can actually feel my own blood...again. She is NOT allowed to sell her fucking memories! I hate with every ounce of my being that she went through that—more than words or even my own thoughts could even describe. But that shit brought her HERE! It brought her to me! She can't erase me… She can't erase us!

I mentally give myself a beat down for selfishly making this about me… But, I'm only human… I've learned a shit ton about humanity lately, and how flawed we all are.

I hear Hana's voice in my head—"Moving on is not about forgetting, it's about learning."

I know in my soul, Tris will regret selling this.

"I want that one."

The younger woman narrows her eyes at me and I can feel…literally feel…her examining my face. OH, GREAT! Can I get through a fucking day without—

"Dali?"

"I haven't even priced this one yet—"

"Dali?" she asks softly, again. "Come look, please."

Dalilah makes a grunting noise as she stands and takes off her strange glasses. She looks at my face in the same manner as the other chick. Then she puts her glasses back on and seems to focus on my eyes. I flinch and step back as the younger woman gently tries to put her hand on my face.

"Relax, love," she soothes.

"Impossible."

"Then look left and right…slowly, please—"

"No."

"Please? For the sake of art…" What the hell does that mean? Oh… Fuck, no…

"Look, I'm not interested in…modeling…or anything else…"

Both women look at each other and burst out in laughter as my face heats up to a color similar to purple.

"I'm a lesbian and you don't have to worry about Dalilah—"

"Hey!... You don't speak for me!"

I'm 50 shades of embarrassed right now…and still confused as hell!

"Just…please?" She asks nicely and I can't believe it, but I actually let her touch my face…and move it side to side. "Oh, yes. Definitely."

"Mmm…hmmmmmm…"

"Are you…finished?" I ask sternly.

"Quite."

"I want that one. I don't care how much it is."

$1000.00," Dalilah states.

"Great. Here." I pull out my wallet and hand her my credit card.

"I'll wrap it up for you…" Jesus Christ… What the hell was all that about? "Sir? You may be interested in—"

"No, thank you."

"Please, humor me."

"Not feeling particularly humorous."

"Hmm. Your loss… Thought you may want to look at some more of the artist's pieces."

"There's more?"

"Follow me."

She leads me to a stack leaning up against the wall and then walks away. I delicately look through them… None of them are Tris's. What the hell? Then, I hear something being knocked over accompanied by a frustrated growl that seems familiarly endearing. My body, by its own accord, creeps down the stairs to see Tris wiping up a spot on the floor furiously. She has a bandana around her hair and blue paint smeared on her cheek, which makes the side of my mouth twitch as if it wants to smile… But I'm not capable because the blue is being distorted by a steady stream of tears. I watch as she wipes under her nose with the back of her hand and shakes her head as if silently punishing herself for her emotions. Shit… What if something happened with Caleb? Or… God, anything… I'm not sure I've ever seen her more upset. Furious…yes. But… Please, tell me I didn't do this… I walk down one more stair on my way to her when I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. I turn to see the younger woman.

"Will that take away her pain?"

I think about that as my face burns from anger because there isn't a damned thing I can do to help her. I am definitely capable of making things worse, though. I could be there to comfort her one moment and then be gone the next.

So I shake my head…no. "Not yet…"

She nods her head and I follow her up the stairs looking at Tris one more time. A tear drips down her nose onto whatever she's working on and I watch her rip the picture in half. I have to rip myself in half in order to get out of there.

"Will you…make sure she's—"

"Yes."

"Thank you," I practically say to myself.

"Tobias?" I narrow my eyes at her use of my given name. Would Tris have told her that? She must have… "Your art?"

It's the first time I didn't correct someone…and it felt right...even though nothing else is…

---

Tris's POV:

I arrive at the bar for Kevin's audition with swollen eyes and a guilty conscience… I know I didn't do anything wrong…but I can't help how I feel in my heart.

Dalilah let me have Tobias's mother's painting. Part of me wants to keep it…to keep a piece of him. Sure, Tris! You sell him for profit and then you get another for free? I know he needs to have it…but I don't know how to give it to him. Maybe I'll mail it or drop it off with what's-his-face in the lobby of his apartment. But doesn't Tobias deserve an explanation? This is the only thing left of his mother. Would it hurt more for him to have it? Open up old wounds? Would it hurt more for me to give it to him personally? My brain is telling me I shouldn't care if it's harder for him if I give it in person…but my heart says otherwise… And I have no idea why!

"God, Tris! Did you donkey-kicked in the face?"

"Fuck off, Lynn."

"I was just checking… Geez…"

"I get it…personal experience. Is Kevin here yet?"

"Yeah, he's in back."

"Thanks for covering for me," I say over my shoulder as I head in back.

"Yeah, whatever… I'm not doing it for you."

"Never said you were."

"What…the…hell, Tris!... You are supposed to be my sexy make-me-look-straight…partner! Did you get bitch-slapped?!"

"I think I just did…twice, in fact." I look down at the clothes laid out on the bleacher bench in front of the lockers. I'm currently immune to insults about my appearance. "Kevin! What the fuck…is that?"

"Your costume!"

---

Christina's POV:

She might kill me for this…but she'll get over it… I know she will!

"Okay…guys… She doesn't know you're here. Frankly, I may not be here tomorrow…because I may be dead…"

"What the hell do you mean she doesn't know we're here?!"

"English not happening for you today, Shauna?" Breathe, Christina… Breathe… "Okay, that was…really bitchy. I'm just… I'm takin' a risk here!"

"Explain." Shauna crosses her arms and leans back in her chair.

I think for a moment on how much I can explain without breaking Tris's trust… She never told me I couldn't tell anyone… No. That's a bullshit excuse bad friends use so they can talk behind people's backs… Strategize…

"Why do you think she doesn't want anyone else here…?" Yes! Make them figure it out!

"Because she gets embarrassed." Shit! She's right…but not totally right. Damn you, Shauna!

"Hey, guys!" Marlene bounds over. "Oh…my…God! Tris is gonna shit when she finds out you guys are here… Please tell me Four's not coming."

"Uh—"

"Hang on, Will…" I interrupt. "Why would you say that?"

"Because even though they're broken up…when he sees her dancing like this… Wait, haven't we already gone over the fact that he still—"

"Yeah, yeah! But, why would Tris care if they're here?" I encircle my hands around the group in communication to Marlene.

"Oh! She's avoiding you…"

"What?! Why?!" Shauna demands. "Uriah?... Did you know that?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't you—"

"Wasn't my place." He shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair.

"What did I miss?" Zeke lands himself on a chair next to Shauna.

"Apparently…Tris is avoiding us!"

"Oh, yeah… Four's definitely avoiding me…" Zeke agrees.

"Probably for different reasons…" God, Shauna… Get over it!

"Here's the deal! No one really needs to know the reasons. Just be her friend! Because…she needs her friends, damn it!... Okay…I just sent her in back with a fifth of Jack—"

"That's not gonna be enough—"

"How bad is this, Mar?" I insist.

"On the Tris-o-meter?...Bad."

"Lesbian-lap dance bad?"

"No one said that was bad," Uriah adds.

"I know I didn't!"

I glance at Will who has his eyebrows raised in silent agreement with Zeke and Uriah. Men!

"Regular lap dance bad?" I offer in replacement.

"Well,…there's not a chair—"

"So guys!" Will suddenly jumps in with way too much cheer. "Who needs drinks? I do! Let's get drinks! Zeke? Shauna? Mar—"

"Nope! I'm performing!"

"What?! You're dancing tonight?!" Uriah sits up straight. Bet that lap dance comment takes on a whole new meaning now!

"Not just dancing! I'm auditioning! Thinkin' boutcha the whole time, baby!"

"Count your lucky stars I'm a bartender instead of a dancer!" I seethe as I turn to Will. He's always bitching about my job! …"What are you looking at?!"

"Nothing! Don't you…uh…have to get back to work?!... Sorry! That sounded awful! I just…don't want you to get in trouble…or…anything." He's hiding something…

"Yeah… You're gonna tell me what's up later!" I point at him as I back away turning toward the bar.

"I will."

I look over my shoulder one last time as I skip to my post. Tori leans against the counter behind the bar and takes a large chug of Stella.

"Are you sure that's a good idea—"

"Shut up, Christina."

"Sorry." Not gonna argue…

The lights dim and people start to settle down a little. I graze the crowd and I see a large table set up with papers all over it. They must be from the company…Exibitor-something? The rest of the patrons, there aren't many because it's Tuesday night, seem confused.

I can't see much because the bar always has lights shining on it, but I see two people on stage. Then a sweet beat starts and I see Kevin and Tris. My mouth drops open as I see her outfit—low slung black cargo pants and a halter crop top… Straight up bare-midriff and she is rocking it!

"Get 'em, girl!" I yell as Tori hands me a beer and we clink glasses.

I watch the whole routine in awe. She has her hands all over Kevin and everything.! She's awesome!

(JoJo Gomez & Donovan Okimura - Breathin Like That)

"Jesus… Thank God Four's not here," I comment to Tori.

"He is here."

"No fucking way!... Where?" I look all over in exasperation.

"In the corner." She points the neck of her beer bottle. "You were just over there. You didn't see him?"

"No. It's dark…and I wasn't exactly looking for him…" I crane my neck to try to spot him.

"He still wants her," Tori adds as she sniffs.

"Yeah. But…how do you know?"

"Between Bud and I…we know everything…"

I think about that for a moment… Shit, she's right. I think of all the connections… Talk about access to information!

Walking to the other end of the bar, I keep my eye on the corner. There is definitely someone sitting in a chair… Mmmmghghgh... William… That's what he didn't want to tell me!

I make eye contact with a customer who just sat down. "Grey Goose Martini, please."

"Sure!"

I grab the Vermouth and start coating the inside of the glass as I grab the chilled shaker from the freezer. I notice another song and see Tris and Kevin…again. This time I watch the choreography with fresh eyes—Four eyes. Oh, God… Oh, man… He's gonna rip this bar apart…

JoJo Gomez & Donovan Okimura - RUDEBOY (FEAT. Kaelynn "KK" Harris.)

"Thank you."

"Uh…huh…" Oh! That ending… This is gonna be bad!

"You practically made my drink blind! Well done."

"Thanks… Been doin' this…a while… Sorry!" I bring my momentary attention back to the pleasant man. "Wanna start a tab?"

"No. I'll pay cash."

I nod my head and then sigh…because I know what I have to do…

---

Tobias's POV:

I'm sitting in the chair in my office…torturing myself by sitting way to close to the monstrosity of a view. I can't stop thinking about Tris. I realize that is the reality I live in now…but this is more. There was something more going on with her in that basement and I can't get it out of my head.

I all but ignored Nita for the rest of the day because I was so distracted. And because I couldn't fucking stand being in her presence anymore. God… How are we ever going to be able to fire her?! She has crossed the line enough where I could.

She rubbed her breasts up against my back in the crowded elevator on our way up. Will saw and Matthew made a comment, so I have witnesses… I should start documenting incidences with HR…Jesus, Tobias! She's Carlos Juares's daughter! Maybe when this is all over…

I chuckle at my sudden bought of optimism. 'When this is all over…' It's laughable, but I pray every day for it to come to fruition. And I'm working…very hard…

"Laughing and drinking alone?"

I look up to Will leaning on my doorframe. "Drinking…yes…" I hold up my glass of Jack Daniels. "Laughing…no…"

"Well, I'm going. Thanks for today."

"For what?"

"For giving me a job I can handle so I don't look like an ass in front of my Associates."

"No problem… But, you can handle more. That was just the first job that came up." It's a little bit of a white lie… But based on what I saw today, he can handle more.

"Thanks… So, Bud can drive me places now that I'm a Senior Architect…right?" he asks with a cheeky expression.

"That's his job."

"Can he do it now…as in, right now? I know it's after hours…"

"Call him. See if he's still down there… Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Christina dropped me off at work because my car's in the shop so I just figured instead of taking a cab…maybe Bud could drive me."

"I'm heading out. I'll drop you off."

"Nah. You don't have to."

"Will." I stand and grab my coat. "I'm driving you home."

"No, you're not."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going home… I'm going to Hangars."

"Then I'll drop you off…at Hangars."

"Are you sure—"

"Jesus, Will. Let's go."

---

Will is exceedingly quiet the whole ride there. Is this what I'm like? God…if it is, I suck! I'm assuming he feels bad because it's Hangars… But I'm just dropping him off.

Will the temptation be there? Yes…in full force and I'm coping with that! Tris may not even be working tonight and I'm doing everything I can to not think about it!

Pulling up in front of the bar, I'm actually humming along to the music to distract myself as I see Uriah and Shauna cross right in front of my car. Hey, guys! Didn't see me?! Okay, fuck you!

"Ummmm…"

"It's fine, man."

"It's not like an invite thing… I mean it is…but of course, you're totally invited—"

"Nope. I'm fine."

"Well…are your feelings hurt—"

"Will…let's not talk about my feelings." Yes! They are…damn it!

He releases a frustrated breath. "Look, Tris is dancing tonight and Christina thought it would be nice for everyone to watch her because Tris is awfully antisocial these days! So…that's it…. That's why they're here."

"Tris… Tris is dancing?"

"Yeah. She's helping out the male lead…he's auditioning for some group or a company or something."

"She's helping out…a male…dancer…?" Well, Tobias! You did say you wanted to keep tabs on her! Here's your chance!

"That's what Christina said…"

"You wanna get out here or park the car and walk 50 miles back with me?"

"Well, I feel bad… I'll go with—"

"Will, you don't have to walk with me—"

"I know, but…it's gonna take forever and I don't want you to be alone—"

"I'm fine, Jesus—

"Four! I want…to walk…with you… Unless you don't want me to—"

"Of course, I want you to walk with me!"

"You guys should hold hands, too. Maybe skip…?"

We both slowly look out the driver's side window to see Zeke standing there grinning.

I see Will lean his head closer to me. "So, I know how that sounded—"

"That's enough, William."

"Park around back, my friend!... I'll make the ticket disappear," Zeke adds with a wink wink at both of us as Will makes a swift exit out of the car.

"Thanks. Hey, Zeke?" He unnecessarily crouches down by the car. "I'm not here."

"What the fuck does that mean? You're definitely here."

"No! Christ…. I don't want anyone to know I'm here so keep your mouth shut."

"Oh… Now I got it! You're 'not here.'"

"Very good, Zeke." Idiot.

Pulling the car away from the curb, I do an illegal U-turn because the timing was perfect and because I have a Chicago PD cop as a best friend, and drive around back to park. I'm hoping we're here early enough that Al isn't guarding the door or I'm pretty sure I won't get in.

I grumble to myself almost the whole way inside trying to make sense of what in the hell I'm doing! I'm gonna sit in the shadows and pine over the woman I love! Great idea! But there truly is a reason—I need to check on her… I can't get the vision of her on the basement floor out of my head. I'm hoping if I see her… and see that she's okay, maybe… God, I'm being selfish!

I round the corner and see no Al at the door. Excellent… But I do see Tori. Shit! Does she know I know she's sick? Do I ask how she's feeling—

"Don't say a fucking word, I'm fine." Okay then!

"Good."

"Does she know you're coming?"

"I didn't even know I was coming."

We both stare at each other mirroring our stony expressions and trying desperately to ignore the Freudian slip we both participated in.

"I'm gonna sit down now."

"Yep."

I zoom around Tori with a wide-eyed expression I'm sure because I catch Lynn's immediate attention and she strolls toward me.

"No one can see me."

"Chair… Left, back corner…"

"Fuck! I can't sit there…" I see all of my friends laughing it up right fucking there!

"They won't see you. It's totally obscured. I'm pretty sure people fuck in that corner."

"Perfect."

"Jack and Coke and a can of Lysol?"

"Just Jack, make it a double…and some hand sanitizer too."

I make my way along the wall to the chair in the corner. It's a plush chair… God… I sit down slowly on the edge until Christina tromps over and I have to seat myself all the way back. God…

"Okay…guys… She doesn't know you're here. Frankly, I may not be here tomorrow…because I may be dead…" Good. I didn't mean that…at all…

"What the hell do you mean she doesn't know we're here?!" Excellent question…

"English not happening for you today, Shauna?" Fuck, she can be such a— "…Okay, that was…really bitchy. I'm just… I'm takin' a risk here!"

"Explain."

I feel like I can watch the cogs turn in the clock that is Christina's brain as she tries to answer Shauna's incredibly straight forward question. My gut is telling me Christina is trying to find a way to relinquish classified 'bestie' information without actually relinquishing classified 'bestie' information. In my opinion…-Bring on the information!

"Why do you think she doesn't want anyone else here…?" Well played, Christina.

"Because she gets embarrassed."

"Hey, guys!" Cue the classic Marlene screech! "Oh…my…God! Tris is gonna shit when she finds out you guys are here… Please tell me Four's not coming." Damn…

"Uh—"

"Hang on, Will…" Christina interrupts, of course. "Why would you say that?"

"Because even though they're broken up…when he sees her dancing like this… Wait, haven't we already gone over the fact that he still—"

Rewind, please!? What does 'dancing like this' mean?! I lose track of the conversation briefly as my imagination goes to places I don't appreciate.

"Lynn says they're outta Lysol," Zeke whispers as I move my head away. He puts a glass in my hand and catapults himself over my chair to land next to Shauna.

"Apparently Tris is avoiding us!"

"Oh, yeah… Four's definitely avoiding me…" Zeke glances over his shoulder at me and grins.

"Probably for different reasons…" Let it go…Shauna…

"Here's the deal! No one really needs to know the reasons. Just be her friend! Because…she needs her friends, damn it!..." Christina's a good friend… I kind of hate it… But I love that Tris has her… "Okay…I just sent her in back with a fifth of Jack—"

"That's not gonna be enough—"

"How bad is this, Mar?"

"On the Tris-o-meter?...Bad." What about on the Four-o-meter?!

"Lesbian-lap dance bad?" Yeah…if by bad you mean awesome!

"No one said that was bad."

"I know I didn't!"

"Regular lap dance bad?" Yes… That would be bad…

"Well,…there's not a chair—"

"So guys! Who needs drinks? I do! Let's get—"

Keep it together…. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen… Composure… Namaste… Wooo Saaaahhhh… Think…happy…thoughts…

I don't know how long I sit there with my eyes closed trying to tune out all thought, but it was long enough for me to realize my glass has been drained and Lynn is handing me another. The lights have been turned down low and I look up at the stage to see some asshole and Tris…looking…disturbingly sexy. The music starts with a slow, steady beat. I can't take my eyes off her body. Her entire middle section is showing… She's always been incredibly fit, but she's on the verge of a six-pack. She must be working out as much as I have—And…what…is…happening…?

Breathin' like that – Jojo Gomez and Donovan Okimura

I don't even know how the dance ends because I closed my damned eyes after she started groping him from behind… This was a very very bad idea! Fuck you, Will!

I feel something cold hit me in the face so I open one eye to see Zeke tossing ice cubes at me. "Just trying to cool you off!"

"Cool who off?!..." Shauna turns her head in my direction. "Four?! When did you get here?"

"Oops." Yeah… Thanks, dick!

"I'm not here."

"No, you're definitely here."

"Told ya!" Zeke adds with a shrug.

"I know I'm here! She…" I point forcefully to the stage. "…doesn't need to know I'm here—"

"Oh, trust me… She definitely doesn't know you're here!... She seems a little distracted!"

I sit back in my chair and take down half the glass of whiskey then I close my eyes until I hear the last dancers file off the stage and the music change.

Out comes Tris for Round 2 with Mr. Sexy Pants who is definitely—

Damn, he's a good dancer! …. … …..I can't watch, but I can't not watch!… She's so hot… And she's bouncing…and I didn't need to see that…and… …. and…and… or that… That was… Someone bring me an oxygen mask!

JoJo Gomez & Donovan Okimura - RUDEBOY (FEAT. Kaelynn "KK" Harris.)

I catch a hazy glimpse of Christina rushing over here and as much as I want to head for the hills I can't because she's right in my face.

"Look! We don't keep oxygen tanks in back so fucking relax!... And… Don't make me regret this…" She puts her hands on her hips. "Kevin's gay!"

"Who's Kevin?"

"That's Kevin, idiot!"

I look at where she's pointing on the stage and it's right at the guy Tris is standing by on the sidelines while the other dancers perform. She's resting her forehead on his shoulder, moving it back and forth as he pats her on the back.

…..

She pours us both full glasses of the scotch and then raises her glass. "What should we toast to?"

"Our first date?"

"Is this your idea of a date?" She asks as we both take a drink without actually cheering.

"Fuck. No. I don't know."

"Four, I'm kidding!" she says, laughing. "Who needs formal dates? I know I don't. Not when I have a 25-year-old bottle of scotch and am sitting on the lap of the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. I hit the fucking jackpot! I just…don't…get…why?" She takes another drink and licks her lips. "Out of all the girls…and then I was dry humping the stage...and Kevin…"

"Yeah...I hated that by the way." I take a large gulp of the drink.

"I knew it... I'm so sorry. I was so pissed today about the whole Nita self-defensing you... And then on stage I... I did not want to… I'm a hypocrite."

"Yeah, maybe a little..."

I think she wanted me to disagree with her.

"But Kevin's gay! ...And...well, you and Nita obviously...you know…and probably other stuff—"

"Tris, wait…" I let out a deep breath. "Kevin's gay?"

"Ugh! Here drink the rest of this," she says as she pushes the glass up to my mouth while finishing hers as well. Then she looks at me with her sex goddess eyes and asks sweetly,"Will you please dance with me?" She grabs the bottle and pulls me out onto the floor.

….

"Ring a bell?" she asks as if she just read my mind.

"You have rung a bell… Thank you," I state sincerely, making sure I keep eye contact. "Don't tell her I'm here."

"I don't tell her much these days… Only because she doesn't seem to want to hear it…" She crouches down beside me. "I don't know how to say this without being completely blunt—She wants to get over you."

"I know. I want to get over her too." I shrug my shoulders. "It would make both of our lives a hell of a lot easier!"

"Do you see that happening anytime soon?"

I look over her shoulder at Tris who is now showcasing herself as she does amazing things to the stage with Kevin in places I should be… Although I'm not as threatened, I'm still not enjoying it…

BAD GIRL - JOJO GOMEZ

"No. Excuse me… I need some air…" I stand up unsteadily.

"Whoa, Nelly. You okay?" Christina asks trying to make eye contact.

"Yeah."

A mix of two double-whiskeys and a raw set of emotions apparently went straight to my head. I walk along the wall in the shadows trying to find a place on the concrete with some privacy. I end up behind a stack of tables and chairs behind the stage. I rest my forehead on the cool interior of the wall and then do the same to my right and left cheeks. Sweet relief…

"I can't do it! I can't!"

I lift my head at the sound of Tris's desperate voice as my heart picks up the pace.

"Yes, you can—"

"Ask Marlene! She's better than me—"

"I'm not asking…Marlene. Because… Tris, look at me… This is your song—your choreo. It's not Marlene's. Is she an amazing dancer?…Yes. But she can't do this number justice and you know it."

I hear her take a few wheezing breaths and uncap a bottle, drinking whatever is in it.

"Is it because of him?... Your exboyfriend?"

"I choreographed this… God, this is so dumb…"

"What?"

"I did it for him!" She…what…? "I wanted this to be…for him! It's funny because I never thought I would actually show him, but now that it comes down to it… I'm kinda pissed that I didn't get to…" ME TOO!

"Well…use me and abuse me, baby. Come on! I do it to you all the time!"

"Yeah… I don't know how I feel about that…"

"It only works because he's short too… Is he a good dancer? Your ex?..."

I hear Tris laugh. That's not funny!

"Obviously not like us!... Well…does he at least have rhythm?"

I wait for her response. Why does she even need to think about this?!

"Yes. He can definitely dance." Yes! "He's even better when he's drunk…"

"See! You're laughing! Progress… No, no, no… No crying!"

I can hear her trying to take deep breaths again and I shake my head in agony.

"Tris. It's show time! Remember I'm him! I'm your drunk exboyfriend!"

"Okay…give me a minute."

I hear her pacing and talking to herself for a bit. And then she's suddenly closer. There's a thick curtain separating the two of us but she's practically right next to me along the wall. I stupidly peak my head in the small slit between the curtain and the wall and see that she's cooling her head off the same way I was. Her forearms are resting on the wall and I can see her pinky finger invading my side. I rest my hand right next to hers. This is the closest I've gotten to holding her hand in what feels like an eternity. She pulls her hand away startling me out of my trance of stupidity and for a moment I feel like she's going to rip the curtain open to expose my semi-accidental creepiness. I'd almost be okay with that… But I feel her walk away instead.

"I better not have a fucking orgasm on the dance floor," she mumbles as she walks around the corner.

I choke out a laugh because, well she has no idea I heard that… But damn, I would love to see that. Alone! No audiences! Suddenly, I break out in an unintentional grin because I get to watch her dance knowing she's thinking about me… It's actually incredibly…arousing—sans Kevin.

I slowly retreat back to my sex chair and sit down quietly. No one seems to notice me because their eyes are on the stage where it's just Tris (and Kevin). The music starts slow and sensually and I can see the shy look on Tris's face that she gets when she's self-conscious about her body. The times when she knows I'm looking at her…worshipping her body with my eyes. I see her staring at the floor and smiling out of the side of her mouth, then she bites her bottom lip and I feel myself twitch in my pants as she starts to dance. She choreographed…this…for me… I have the worst best case of tunnel vision ever as I see only her. I watch in awe as she puts her all into the choreography. The words of the song have incredible significance as well and it just contributes to the emotion on her face. I'm not entirely sure, but she seems to delve away from the original choreography…as if she's doing this for me only and who gives a shit who's watching. It's an overwhelming feeling of arousal (I'm definitely hard) and emotion as well. Now I understand the whole orgasm on the stage thing she was talking about because with Tris and I…it's always been the mix of lust and love that made our connection…exceptional. It's what I'm feeling right now and by the look on her face, she is too…

JoJo Gomez - DANCE FOR YOU

The bar erupts with clapping as Tris seems to be startled out of her trance. This is the first time people have applauded between dancers. Kevin reaches down to help her up and gives her a big hug, whispering something in her ear as he leads her off the stage. From where I'm sitting I can see what goes on side stage. Tris nods her head at something he says and he envelops her in a big hug, her burying her head in his chest. Never thought I'd be grateful for Kevin…

An entirely odd feeling crawls up my arms…as I realize I have five sets of eyes all trained on me.

"What?!"

"Dude…" Uriah says with a wary voice.

"What?"

"You…okay…with that?"

"Not really." But not for the reasons you all think…

"This next number is the last one." Christina addresses our friends while making eye contact with me.

I nod my head in thanks and stand, needing some air again. I go and lean back against the wall, still out of site but able to watch nonetheless. Five female dancers file out onto the stage, Marlene in the lead with Tris to the left.

"Tris should be the lead…" I say under my breath. Oh God… That's so hot… My eyes are completely glued to her ass in this routine.

"Holy…shit…" says a voice next to me.

I turn my head as we make eye contact.

"Whoops. I said that out loud, huh?"

"Yep."

"Sorry. I just haven't seen this girl in a while and… Whoa… She was the one who got away…"

"Tell me about it…"

"Oh, I could tell you all about her…" That was sarcasm, buddy. "But words don't do her justice so I'll just keep my mouth shut."

I nod my head because I prefer it that way. I wouldn't be able to respond anyway as I watch Tris's abs flex as she… Good God….

Chris Porter ft Pitbull - The Water Dance | Choreography by _TriciaMiranda - Filmed by TimMilgram

"I have a feeling that I'm alone in this…" He starts his sentence and then trails off.

"What?"

"…Uh… Ha… I'm incredibly uncomfortable watching…but I can't stop watching…"

"I understand."

"You gotta girl up there?"

"Mmm hmm… Well, no. It's…complicated."

We both watch and sigh out in relief as a group of guys continues the song.

"Never thought I be excited to watch guys dance! Ha! I mean… I'm not homophobic… I met a gay guy once. He was nice enough. Actually I'm not quite sure if he was gay…or just seemed gay—"

"Seemed…gay?"

"Damn! Was that offensive? Mom says I always stick my foot in my mouth… I was all amped to come here and it's Chicago so… Chock full of Liberals! I'm from Conservative-ville. Most people can't even look left!... Everyone's all watch-out-for-the-gays! It may rub off on ya!" He actually laughs at that.

I take a better look at him and see he's in very loose-fitting jeans and a plaid shirt…with a tie. I'm not incredibly in-tune with fashion…but some things just go without saying… I really have absolutely nothing to say to this guy so I look back up at the stage and see that it has turned into one big dance party with everyone taking their turn freestyle.

"Well… It's nice to meet you…" I realize this is his off-the-cuff way at trying to introduce himself.

"Four." He has a surprisingly firm handshake.

"Four…? Well, alright… I'm Robert. Time to get to work!"

---

Tris's POV:

I exit the stage early because Kevin told me Exhibitor wants to talk to me and I have no interest. I make my entrance to the backroom as Tori and Bud come out of the bathroom. She was puking again.

"Take her home, Bud."

"Tris. You don't tell him what to do."

"Bud… Take her home or I'll call the hospital. Christina and Lynn can handle closing."

"Tris," she almost pleads.

I turn to my locker pretending she isn't here as tears well up in my eyes from seeing the toughest woman I know at her most vulnerable. I know how I must sound…but she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Come on, babe…." Bud starts to lead her out, but she rips her arm away.

He looks over his shoulder and mouths a "thank you" to me to which I nod in response. Then I wipe under my eyes and put my hair up in a ponytail, toss on a hoodie and go do a bathroom check.

"Too much make-up…"

But I leave it on because I'm just going home anyway… Shit, unless Christina needs some help... I have nothing to wear! Ugh… I rip off my sweatshirt and head behind the bar.

Christina is frantic as every dancer is now at the bar screaming drink orders.

"Damn…" I say under my breath as I see a gentleman with a kind face sitting at the corner with an empty martini glass. He holds it up to me signaling he would like another. "Let me guess? Hendrick's martini or Grey Goose?"

"Very good… Grey Goose, please." I give him my best pursed-lips smile and start making his drink. "You're Tris, correct?"

"Yeah…" I look him over. Olive complexion, brown eyes, black hair, mid-40s… "Sorry, have we met. I suck at remembering—"

"No, we haven't… You're dating, Four…Eaton?" He laughs, shaking his head.

"I…was…, yes."

"We've…worked with each other in the past… He spoke very highly of you! I'm sorry… Did you use the past tense?"

"Yes."

"Oh… I didn't realize…"

"Well, now you do. Here you go!" I pass him the drink with mock enthusiasm.

"I didn't mean to stir the pot."

"Nothing that hadn't already been stirred," I comment while nodding my head as Christina gives me the signal for 5 Cosmopolitans. Kill me now… Fucking Sex and the City bullshit drink…

"Nothing to be done?"

"Nothing to be done. Want to start a tab?"

"No, thank you."

I move on to the next person now severely aggravated even though the man was perfectly nice and surprisingly respectful. That was actually the frankest of conversations I've had about Tobias with a stranger.

"What can I getcha?" I don't make eye contact with the customer because I don't fucking want to and because I am trying to pull out spare martini glasses from under the bar.

"How 'bout a hug?" I look up to see the kind eyes of…Robert. A bolt of warmth hits me as I smile and run around the bar launching myself into his arms as he envelopes me with a bear hug. "Beatrice Prior! Look at you, girl… I barely recognized you!"

"I barely…recognized you. What is happening here?" I ask in reference to his outfit.

"My thoughts exactly!" Christina yells from the other side of the bar.

I roll my eyes at her as he grins sheepishly.

"I didn't know what to wear… Sorry… Is this embarrassing?" Yes… For you…

"Nah! You see everything around this town."

"You have just made that official."

"Thank you, Christina. Robert, this is my friend Christina. Christina, this is my friend, Robert… Susan's brother." I give her the be-fucking-nice look.

"Hmmph."

"She meant, 'nice to meet you,' right?"

"I hate your sister."

"I would imagine she wouldn't think too kindly of you either."

Christina narrows her eyes and shrugs her shoulders, moving on.

"So, what are you…" Fuck…what is he doing here? How does he know I'm here? My heart picks up like rapid fire. "Um… What… What are you doing here—"

"Wow, Trisha! Four, Matthew, now this poor guy! You sure know how to make your rounds…" NAILS ON A DAMNED CHALKBOARD!

"Who's Trisha—"

"I'm not sure you're one to talk about making rounds, Nita. Who haven't you slept with at ALG?"

"Well… We know for sure who I have slept with…don't we?... Which lay was more memorable?… Hmmm… Well, let's see… Oh, look at this cute picture…" She pulls out her phone and flashes a picture of Tobias…sleeping…and I almost vomit up the Jack in my stomach. Aim for her! Aim for her! "I'm sorry… Does that bother you?... Well, it shouldn't, seeing as—"

"You've gotta be a smoke detector because you won't shut the fuck up!" I look and see Shauna standing there with her arms crossed as Christina busts up in laughter.

"Okay, fine. I'll stop… He just texted me anyway… Left all kinds of cute emojis!" She turns to exit as my mind starts to put this information together. Emojis?

"You are a lying whore bag, Nita!"

"Pardon…me?"

"Four wouldn't send an emoji if his life depended on it!"

"Don't you mean…Tobias?"

I see red and I'm quite sure my face reflects my anger.

"People say everything happens for a reason… So when she punches you in the face, remember she has a reason!" Christina quips.

"Nah…" I retort lightly. "That would be animal abuse… Now just, please… Excuse me, everyone…" I pretend to cry and run for the stage.

Once I get there, I spot Marlene.

"Marlene!"

"Yeah?!"

"Put down the Tequila and get up here! We have a tribute to do!"

"A what?"

"Get your ass up here!" I yell semi-frantically as I grab the iPod hooked up to the speakers and choose my song.

Marlene makes her way tentatively to the stage creeping over to me.

"Remember when I came to The Studio, pissed beyond belief and I wouldn't tell you why…"

"That's all the time—"

"Just follow my lead!"

I grab the microphone and I have a moment where my brain is screaming at me wondering what the fuck I'm doing! But I ignore it and select the song. When it starts, Marlene nods her head giving me a huge grin of excitement as I grab the microphone.

"I would like to dedicate this dance to Nita… The bitch standing at the bar."

Everyone looks around at the chicks standing at the bar trying to figure out which one I'm talking about. I'll let Christina handle that… I back up as Marlene gives me a quick wink and the 8-count starts…

IDFWU - BIG SEAN (feat. E-40) / Kaelynn "KK" Harris Choreography

---

Tobias's POV:

I get to watch from the sidelines as Tris throws herself into the arms of the seriously-misguided-dresser. Who…the…hell…is…that?

I think back to the strange conversation I just had with him… "The one who got away…" She had a boyfriend in high school… I can't remember his damned name…. Oh, shit that has to be him.

I actually feel sorry for the guy now that I remember her luke-warm feelings about him. "Sorta-sex"… As much as I didn't love hearing about her first time, I felt for the guy. If I had Tris alone in a tent after prom, losing my virginity, I'm 100% confident it would have been "sorta sex."

On the plus side for him, I remember her saying how honorable he was….

It quickly crosses my mind that this could be terrible…for her… Why is he here? How did he find her? Then my mind goes to the worst possible scenario—Eric…in turn, possibly Marcus. I go into immediate overprotective mode and think about how I'm going to follow her forever without her or anyone else noticing. I could hire a private investigator to follow her… Maybe someone from Seal Team 6 is available-

"You've gotta be a smoke detector because you won't shut the fuck up!" Shauna practically yells as I see Zeke whip his head in her direction going into protective mode as well.

I crane my neck to see who she's talking too as I hear Christina laughing loudly.

"You are a lying whore bag, Nita!" Oh…shit…

"Pardon me!?"

The bar has quieted down significantly.

"Four wouldn't send an emoji if his life depended on it!" Oh, God… How do I get Tris to stop without making Nita question my loyalties?… I'm still not sure if Nita is more dangerous than I thought… I'm trying to figure that out!

"…So when she punches you in the face, remember she has a reason!..." Jesus, Tris! Don't punch her in the face!

I can't tell what they're saying, but I see Tris cover her face and run toward the stage, crying… But, then—Oh, I know that look! Whatever you're going to do…don't!

She screeches for Marlene's attention. "Put down the Tequila and get up here! We have a tribute to do!"

"A what?"... Marlene tosses back the shot as she hops off Uriah's lap.

"Get your ass up here!"

"She's such a crabby bitch lately…" Marlene mutters as she walks past me. And she has every right to be!

I observe a small rather frustrated conversation between the two and then…Tris, holding a microphone. "I would like to dedicate this dance to Nita… The bitch standing at the bar."

My mouth about drops open as I turn my head to see Christina pointing at Nita from behind her. Then the music starts… This is not happening! It's hilarious! But tell me this isn't happening!

IDFWU - BIG SEAN (feat. E-40) / Kaelynn "KK" Harris Choreography

I watch both Tris and Nita…moving my head back and forth between the two. Nita is enraged and Tris is… Damn it!

"Holy shit! That's awesome!" Uriah doubles over laughing as I bolt behind the stage and wait for Tris to exit.

Her and Marlene give a quick hi-five as she giggles incredibly proud at that amazingly idiotic show she just put on. I grab her arm as she sucks in a deep breath.

"What the hell are you doing?" I grit out not trying to sound angry.

"What the hell are you doing?... Let go of me!" She rips her arm away and turns around as I grab her by the waist and turn her to face me gripping her shoulders.

"Listen to me and listen to me…closely. Stay away from Nita! …Please…"

"Please? You sure say please a lot! And why the protectiveness about Nita suddenly? Hmmm?! Clue me in!"

"I'm not being protective of her! I'm being—"

"Get off me! Get off me!" she suddenly shrieks as people turn around and I immediately let go. "I can't take it!" she chokes out as she sidesteps almost falling over.

I lean in and grab her elbow steadying her as my heart starts racing watching her eyes dilate. "Tris? Look at me!... Are you okay?"

"I'm sick of looking at you. I see you in my damned sleep… Let me go…" she just about moans.

I release her arm as she looks at me coldly, her eyes going back to normal. She walks back to the bar and I stand in the hall biting the inside of my cheeks.

Needing a serious minute, I walk with my head down quickly to the storage closet and slam the door. I don't even care what the hell the two of us did in here. All I care about is… Is… I crouch down and put the crook of my elbow over my mouth and scream into it, knowing it's my best alternative. The walls are concrete and I don't want to damage anything else… Tori has enough to deal with… I stand up and run my hands through my hair walking in circles trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

I need to talk to Christina… To tell her I don't think Tris is okay… Then make sure Nita's okay… VOMIT!

---

Tris's POV:

I give Marlene a hi-five and laugh lightly because that was one of the more awesome things I've done. I didn't see Nita in the crowd anymore so I'm assuming she made a run for it.

The high I'm experiencing is quickly gone as I remember Robert… Why is he here? Maybe it's a coincidence… Maybe—

"What the hell are you doing?" A memory I can't place flashes before my eyes as I'm gripped firmly by the arm and my heart begins to race.

My eyes focus on Tobias's face as he looks at me with a mix of anger and worry. I'm elated to see him and hating him for it…

"What the hell are you doing?... Let go of me!" I pull my arm away and start walking knowing full well he won't let me get far.

He wraps his hands around my waist and I all but let him turn me around, but he surprises me by holding onto my shoulders tightly, keeping me in place. "Listen to me and listen to me…closely. Stay away from Nita! …Please…"

"Please tell me you don't believe it"… "I never said it… Please…" I'm so sick of that word!

"Please? You sure say 'please' a lot!" Wait… Fuck Nita! "And why the protectiveness about Nita suddenly? Hmmm?! Clue me in!"

"I'm not being protective of her!" He grips me by the shoulders…not hard… He's trying to get me to listen… It's not a hard grip… I'm trying to listen…"I'm being—"

Suddenly I'm yelling something as another flash of a memory presents itself…but it doesn't stay long enough again… I didn't quite catch it…

"Tris? Look at me!... Are you okay?" I hear Tobias as if he's underwater.

I don't even know what my response is… As quickly as it started, my head clears and I stand up straight again. I need to walk away from him. Even though it's the last thing I want to do right now. I feel the almost irresistible need for him at this moment…and that's why I need to walk away. I feel him stare after me as I close my eyes forcing the tears back into the ducts.

Standing by the bar, I take in the scene. Christina hands the man who knows Tobias another martini, Marlene and Shauna wave to me as Uriah approaches. Why the hell are they here?

"Tris! You Michael Jacksoned that bitch! Dance fight! Whoop whoop!"

"Hi," I say to Robert, ignoring Uriah.

"You always were a spitfire!"

"Sort of… Do you want to sit down?"

"Yeah. I think we should. Or maybe we should find a better place to talk? I think you need—"

"Why are you here, Robert? I'm happy to see you, don't get me wrong… But…"

I make eye contact with Christina, who nods her head that she's fine as we find a table close to the bar so I can keep an eye on things.

"Susan told me where you work and where you live. I actually was just at your place. It's really nice! Well, from the outside…"

"Thanks."

"Maybe we should go there to talk—"

"Just tell me, Robert."

He looks at me with puppy dog eyes. "Beatrice…" He leans toward me. "I came to warn you… Susan didn't want anything to do with it…" He shakes his head in disbelief at his sister as I lose all equilibrium. "I thought to call you about this, but this is not a conversation to be had over the phone… Eric… I was in his house…. …. ….Pictures of you everywhere… high school yearbook, dance, newspaper, internet… …. …. new furniture… …..table was set… ….. ….. ….. expecting you home…. He's lost it… …. …. Beatrice? Beatrice?... Help!... … … …"

…. ….. … …. … Four!... ….. …..

...

"If you ever go through my closet again I will gut you like a fucking Trout!"

Searing pain… Ripping… Tearing… Spreading…

"Aaaahhhhh!"

Screaming… Agony… Fire on my shoulder… It's inside my shoulder! It's burning… I'm on fire… My shoulder is on fire…

"Relax it… You'll be fine! Fuck, babe!"

I try… More flames… Worse flames…

"Then drive yourself to the fucking hospital. Be sure to tell the nurses I say, 'Hello!'"

...

…. "Tris?... You're not on fire,… …. …. You're not… I promise… Tris?... Jesus, baby... Look at me, please. I miss your eyes so much…"

I miss your voice so much…keep talking…forever…

"Please, open them. Tris… There you are… Hi…" I feel so cozy…

"Stop saying…'please.'" The never-ending depth of those eyes...

"Okay… I'll never say it again. Someday you're gonna regret you ever said that…"

"I love…your face…"

"I love yours-... Fuck!… … Um... … … …Take her, take her, take her now!...… … ….. ROBERT! … She's gonna... … … with her tonight!... …. …. on the fucking couch!" ...

"Beatrice?" These are not the arms I want... Oh God, Oh no, no, no... "That big guy said you're gonna puke...but I think we're in the clear-"... ... ..."Or not..."

---

Nita's POV:

Well, that went not quite as expected… But, the outcome didn't surprise me… Except that ridiculous show at the end! Who the hell was Four chasing!? He ran right past me…as if I was nothing! Why is he not chasing...me...?

"Call…Marcus…" I say to my car. "Fucking no car cell phone usage crap…"

"To which…Marcus…are you…referring? Marcus Anderson, Marcus Dolby, Marcus Eaton, Marcus Fiennes, Marcus Sutherland or Marcus Tilsen?"

"Marcus…Eaton." Is it weird that I'm embarrassed that my phone sounds like my 'little black book'?

"Okay…Calling…Marcus…Eaton…"

I wait and wait and wait and wait….

"Yes, Nita?" Of course, he picks up at the last ring…

"We need to talk. I'm coming over."

"Can we keep this to a phone conversation, please?"

"Marcus… You underestimate me. I know you get annoyed with me and you think my obsession, as you call it, with Four is ridiculous… But, I see the look on your face when I mention Trista… I know you have something up your sleeve. For some reason that has nothing to do with me, you don't want them together either."

"Well, those are your father's wishes—"

"Bullshit. My father never wanted to hurt Four and you know it. This is all about you… I don't know what you have planned and in all honesty I don't want to know one single ounce of your plan. But, if you truly need them apart…you'd better listen to me."

"Meet me at my office."

---

Probably could have split this chapter up?... Nah...