Author's notes: And again, thank you all for reading, following and reviewing!

Beyond Reason

Chapter Thirty-Eight – Crashing together

Sam stared sullenly at the open gate of the hangar. Jack had just taken one of the small Ancient gliders she had gotten operational for a flight. All the spaceships left back at the base had been damaged in some way or another and when Sam had finally worked her way through the base getting all necessary life supporting systems operative, she had started working on the spaceships. The Colonel had constantly been by her side. At first because from their experiences with the energy controlling devices she had learned that she would need his skills and then because he wanted to be in her company. Even when she had been working on something, he would stay in one corner and occupy himself somehow, careful to not distract or bother her.

Together they had gotten the water-cleaning systems online, which provided them with drinking water as well as finally allowed them the possibility to take showers and wash their clothes. After the energy controlling devices, these systems had turned out the most complicated, so when Sam had finally succeeded in getting them running, the Colonel had switched on all showers in the large shower room by thought, making it seem as if it was raining in the large room because the water came directly out of the stone ceiling and then had dragged her under it, fully clothed. Like little kids they had relished in their achievement, skipping around the room from shower head to shower head, laughing freely and relieved, and drinking the clean water with their heads tilted back, knowing that they at least weren't in danger to die of thirst anymore. They had spent way too much time under the showers, only stopping when they had realized they had gotten thoroughly soaked and Sam had begun sneezing. Seeing that by then they didn't have any fresh clothes anymore and their last BDUs were dripping wet, they had spent a very uncomfortable night naked, wrapped up in only their blankets, trying their best to not touch the other when they were getting more and more comfortable with the new closeness between them. They had never moved their beddings away from lying directly next to the other's and by now they fell asleep in each other's arms almost every night. Sam got more and more accustomed to calling him by his first name and he had started to call her 'Sam' instead of 'Carter'.

They also weren't hesitating in touching the other anymore but they still very much stayed on safe grounds. So while it wasn't uncommon anymore for Jack to brush her fingers with his, stroke his fingers over her cheek or even lay an arm around her shoulders, this was as far as he seemed willing to go. More and more Sam found herself wishing he would go further and touch her more intimately but apparently he had no intention of doing that. And Sam had no idea if that was because he didn't want it or she was just too fast, ploughing on with a pace he wasn't comfortable with. He had kissed her a few times but while those were all sweet kisses leaving her body tingling with anticipation, a silly, excited smile crossing her features, and her floating somewhere above the ground, it was universes apart from the steamy kiss they had shared in Sam's quarters when she had been in confinement.

Still, aside from her wishful thinking Jack obviously wasn't sharing, they were slowly working things out between them and before Sam had realized it, they had settled into a new, comfortable routine with each other. As she had always expected, they were good with each other. They were sharing tasks almost with no problems, being used to it due to the uncountable missions they had accomplished together. Whenever Sam was working on some necessary supply system and wasn't in need of him, Jack would do whatever else was needed to be done. With all energy systems running, Jack had gotten the defense systems online which at first had almost scared Sam to death when the systems had picked up on her foreign, non-Ancient presence and had almost shot her down. Only Jack's fast reactions had prevented that from happening and since then he had worked on getting the systems to ignore Sam but still reacting to any other human coming to their planet.

They were a good team and shared all tasks, with Sam doing their laundry while Jack would cook. Sam hadn't found a washing room yet so she made do with the shower room and wary of the foreign furniture Jack had stumbled upon during his exploration trips, the Colonel preferred to stick to their camping cooker until they ran out of gas and had to resort to building small fires, all the while having to convince the security systems of the base that it wasn't burning when after the first time of them attempting to cook their food like that what had felt like tons of water had come pattering down on them from the ceiling in a matter of seconds, drenching everything from their tent to their whole equipment which had taken them days to dry out again and had made for quite a few very uncomfortable nights.

But apart from a few mishaps, they had made this base as much their home as possible and neither of them wanted to leave. The base was providing as much shelter as protection and with Jack's ability to control all systems, they were as comfortable as they could probably get off-world. The only really pressing matter they were encountering was food. Slowly but surely they had run out of their supplies and for two days now they hadn't eaten a thing. They had more than enough water but nothing to eat. Jack had begun to scout the perimeters outside the base, hoping to hunt something down but until now unsuccessful. He hadn't stumbled upon any wildlife and even though he had found a few berries and seemingly edible roots, they hadn't had the courage to try them, not knowing if they could be poisonous. Neither of them wanted to test how Jack's healing powers would fare against poisoning.

So they had sat down and tried to find a solution to their problem. Without any food, they couldn't stay at the base, no matter how comfortable they'd gotten. But neither of them wanted to leave, so they had stopped working on any other system and Sam had set on getting one of the spaceships operational so that they could scout the planet and see if there was a source of food anywhere. Sam had chosen to begin with the smallest glider that was still mostly intact. It had only taken her a day to get it running and now Jack was out with it doing a test flight. The technology was still much unknown to them and despite her grumbling and pleading, the Colonel had made her stay back. With his Ancient gene, he was the only one able to fly the spaceships and apparently he wasn't too confident in their fast progress and opted to only put himself in danger. Sam hated the thought with vigor. If anything happened, he wouldn't be able to do anything. After all even if he knew what was to be done, he couldn't repair and fly the spaceship at the same time!

But whatever she had said, he hadn't swayed in his decision. Stubborn, overprotective fool.

Thus Sam now sat at the opened gate of the hangar, her eyes scanning the sky restlessly for the small silhouette of the glider, hoping that he hadn't activated the cloak for invisibility. If he would even think of making this flight any longer than strictly necessary, he would get it from her!

Her stomach rumbled faintly, protesting that it wasn't getting fed, but it was getting rarer. At first Sam had had trouble getting accustomed to the lack of food and the surplus of water they were drinking to compensate the lack of nourishment but slowly her stomach was surrendering or was simply lacking the strength to still put up a fight.

Sam looked up at the slowly darkening sky to distract herself from her hunger and her worrying thoughts. It had been some time since she had seen the actual sky, even though there were a few spots within the base where they could climb to the surface. In a few places the aboveground structures were intact enough for them to ascend to them. They had ventured outside before, soaking up actual sunlight even if the artificial light in the base was a very close replacement, and a few times they had come up during the nights to stargaze. The stars here were amazing and slowly Sam had begun to recognize them. She and the Colonel had named a few constellations they had found and Sam had given him her journal to draw pictures of them in it. Sometime during her work on the energy controlling devices Sam had started taking notes on their findings and the knowledge she gained of the Ancient technology, not knowing if they were ever going to need it again, and had scribbled down everything she thought important in a small journal she kept with her things to make exactly such notes. Slowly, the small book began to overflow but thankfully they had worked their way through almost all necessary systems and Sam estimated she wouldn't have much to take down in the book anymore.

Sam raked her eyes over the dozen of abandoned spaceships in the deadly silent hangar. They were all damaged in some way, which was why they had been left here when the Ancients had abandoned the base, but Sam intended to repair them all, one after the other, if she could. They could still come in handy.

It would take a lot of time, she figured, but if anything, they had time. Sam counted in her head and realized that almost six weeks had passed since they had deserted. It actually wasn't that long a period of time and with all that had happened, Sam had thought more time would have passed already. Luckily for them the planet they were hiding on was pretty similar to Earth, the days only two hours longer, which made it easy to count the days passing on Earth and let them adjust almost effortlessly.

It had been Jack to research these details when they had noticed that their watches didn't match up with the rhythm of days and nights anymore, because Sam had simply been too busy. When he thought Sam didn't need him and there was nothing more pressing to do, he would wander to the control room and mess with the controls in the hopes to stumble upon useful information. Sometimes he even did. Like that they had learned that the control room's devices held a large database they had yet to go through and that the planet they were now living on, as well as the base it hosted, were called 'Laterra', meaning 'shelter', 'refuge' or 'protection' – the Colonel hadn't been exactly sure how to translate it, but Sam thought all of them adequate descriptions and worthy names for such a base. They still had their problems with the Ancient language because although the Colonel did instinctively understand the meaning, the actual words eluded them, but Sam meant to work on that when she would finally have the time, even though she sincerely doubted they would get anywhere near the level of understanding Daniel had of the Ancient language.

Again Sam felt the urge to sigh upon imagining how Daniel would have loved all this here. The archaeologist would have probably gotten a heart attack from excitement if he would have had the chance to explore these structures. Ironically it now were Jack and Sam combing through them and analyzing the language.

Daniel…

The thought of him stung. Sam missed her friends with a fierceness that tended to surprise her from time to time. Over and over again she had fantasized about talking to Daniel about her discoveries whenever she had lost the Colonel with her explanations. She knew Jack was trying his best but he just was no scientist at heart and his patience had limits. Sam would have loved to examine these structures down to the last rock with Daniel but unfortunately she had had to leave her friend back at the SGC. From what Sam had read between the lines, the Colonel had been hesitant enough to even take her along, so he hadn't even thought of getting Daniel and Teal'c on board. Getting him and Sam on Earth's black list had apparently seemed enough damage done to him.

Still, when Sam nowadays thought of her friends, imagining Daniel's wide, excited smile and Teal'c's calm, confident posture, she felt tears well up in her eyes. The thought of never seeing them again was hurting and she knew it would take quite some time to come to terms with that.

A humming sound ripped her from her drifting thoughts and Sam straightened up, getting to her feet when she saw the small glider de-cloak, returning into the visible spectrum, and then carefully maneuver into the hangar. Jack was back.

Sam brushed over her cheeks self-consciously, erasing any traces of any tears that might or might not be there. She waited for him to power down the glider and then open the door at the ship's rear. He stepped out and Sam immediately studied his expression. He seemed torn, somewhat satisfied and disgruntled at the same time.

"Was there a problem?" Sam asked before he had any chance to say something.

He shook his head. "Nah, all systems running perfectly."

Sam was relieved.

"Still," he continued hesitantly. "We have a problem."

Sam raised her brows astonished. "What kind of problem?"

He was gritting his teeth in frustration and running a hand through his messy hair when he explained: "I absolutely couldn't find anything edible. The scanners didn't pick up on any lifeforms apart from a whole lot of insects crawling on the ground."

Sam could feel her face fall. Those really were bad news. It meant there was no wildlife they could hunt for food or fish they could catch. But they would need food. Sooner rather than later. If worst came to worst Sam thought they could eat a few of the insects and try their luck with the plants but she really rather avoid either scenario. It would still be insufficient nourishment for two grown adults anyways.

"Then, what are we going to do…?" she asked tentatively. "Do we have to leave Laterra?"

He looked at her calculatingly and immediately Sam knew he was going to say something she wouldn't like and steeled herself. "Actually," he began. "I was more thinking of using the Stargate. We could gate to other planets and get food there."

This… didn't sound so bad, Sam thought. "You mean hunting somewhere where there's actually wildlife?" she asked.

He shrugged. "We could also trade. Or steal, if necessary."

Sam didn't really like the thought of that but she quickly realized that they were in no position to be picky. Moral and ethical standards were good and all, but food was critical and their situation was turning dire enough so that they couldn't really afford the luxury of holding up all their moral principles if they wanted to survive.

"Okay," she agreed.

He nodded. "I have tried and I can access the control room's systems from the glider. I can make the Stargate dial from the glider, so I could take the glider with me for speed and protection."

Again Sam wondered if that was normal that he could access the control room from such a small glider when the Ancients had done such a thorough job of defending their base and sealing off the control room, but she pushed the thought aside when another detail filtered through to her.

"You?" she asked pointedly.

"Yes," he answered calmly.

"Not we?" Sam pushed suspiciously.

Jack sighed, looking almost apologetic. "I intend to go alone."

Sam gaped at him speechless. He was… what?! He was going alone? Why? And, more important, had he just made the decision on his own without even asking her first? Why wasn't she asked for her opinion first?

"Why?" she wanted to know, trying for patience. "The glider may be small, but it's still big enough for the two of us."

"Sam, it's no use to discuss that. I'll go alone."

Her eyebrows shot up to her hair line in surprise. Oh? So he wasn't going to discuss it? He was just going to leave her back like that? Anger began swelling within her, rushing through her body with speed and force, leaving her silently fuming with him. Fine! If he wanted to have it his way, she certainly wouldn't make a scene, would she?

Sam turned on her heels and without saying a word or even glancing back, she left the hangar, practically storming away. Behind her, she could hear him curse softly, but she didn't react to it. Just when she had thought they were moving on from everything, establishing an equal relationship between them – or really any relationship at all – he was returning to ordering her around! The man had some nerve!

Blindly, Sam stomped through the hallways, the surroundings blurring around her with the speed she used to get away.

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Sam was angry. Angry beyond words to be exact and that kept her from getting sleepy despite the late hour. After she had burned off all excessive energy by storming through the base's corridors aimlessly, she finally made her way back to their living quarters. Jack waited for her there, knowing unfailingly that she would return to their quarter when she was ready. Except that she wasn't ready to face him yet. So Sam refused to even look his way and not even acknowledging him with a word, she retreated to their tent. He called something after her she didn't react to. She merely closed the tent's flap behind her with enough force to send him a message and then flung herself onto her bedding to curl up in her sleeping bag with every intention to attempt to sleep.

How dare he simply decide over her head! And worse, why had he even decided it like that? They had gone on missions uncountable times before, so what was different now? Had the time they had recently spent together somehow changed his opinion of her? Now that he had gotten a closer view on the woman Samantha Carter, had he forgotten what the soldier Major Carter was capable of? Did he think her weak now? Had she shown weakness in front of him that was influencing his opinion of her capability?

Sam hadn't ever thought that to happen, but apparently she'd been wrong, hadn't she? She had never imagined the Colonel to mix up his personal and professional opinion of her, but that was what had happened, wasn't it?

The tent's flap opened and Sam could hear Jack crawl in. Instantly she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She had not the slightest desire to fight this out with him now!

He leaned over her and she was careful to not react to it.

He huffed at her antics. "Carter, I know you're awake," he busted her pretense.

"I'm trying to sleep here," she brushed him off brusquely.

He sat down next to her and tentatively reached out, resting his hand on her shoulder. She tensed under his touch and sighing, he withdrew his hand.

"C'mon, can't we at least talk about it?" he offered. Sam knew what that offer cost him, still she was too mad to let it sway her in her anger.

"You made it quite clear that there was nothing to discuss," she shot back. She was so not going to make this easy for him!

"You know how I meant that, Carter…" he said.

"Oh, do I?" she asked.

For a moment, there was silence and Sam found herself urged to sit up. Exasperated that she was again giving in to him when all she wanted was to ignore him, she threw her sleeping bag aside and sat up, turning to face him.

"From my perspective, sir," she began emphasized. "It's sounding as if you're ordering me to stand down from a mission I have every right to go on as well!"

He squinted his eyes, displeased at her return to the military address she hadn't used with him in days. "I'm doing no such thing," he said. "I would just rather have you stay back."

"Why?" she inquired hurt. So he really didn't want her to go with him. "I can't believe I actually have to remind you of that, but I am military. I know what's at stake and what I have to do, just like you! We've been on missions before. How is this any different?"

He snorted. "Carter, I know all that! Fully well, to be exact. Heck, you've saved my six on a few missions, so there's no way I'm doubting your abilities here! But you can't compare this here to any mission we've done on the SGC!"

"Why not?" she inquired. She didn't really see a difference.

"For once, there will be no backup to come if we get into a dangerous situation and with our own men after us, the odds have increased exponentially that we will run into danger on other planets," he explained. "I have been trained to do solo missions and alone I will be faster and more inconspicuous. Also our ammo will last longer if I go alone."

All valid reasons but Sam wasn't about to accept even one of them.

"So you want me to stay back and wait here, not knowing if you might be captured when you will fail to return some day? No way! Sir, I will be your backup! I will guard your six!"

He gritted his teeth, even though Sam could read in his eyes that he had been prepared for her resistance. "I didn't really expect you to stand down," he admitted grimly. "But I still rather have you stay here."

"What about 'in this together'?" she threw his own words at him when she felt him sway.

He sighed deeply. "No chance of you backing down?" he tried a last time. Sam was vaguely aware and thankful that he wasn't trying to order her to stay back. Given her anger she would have still fought his decision but it made her feel so much more equal that he was trying to persuade her rather than to just make it an order she would feel compelled to comply with.

"No fucking way in hell!" she said nonetheless, getting him to raise an eyebrow at her because of her language.

"God, Carter!" he groaned. "Do you have any idea of the danger we're actually in? We will have to be very stealthy and capture is not a question of 'if', but of 'when'!"

"I know, sir," she said. "Which is why I can't let you go on your own."

She would rather end up captured by his side, again, than stay back and perhaps never see him again if he would be caught on some other planet. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized he was doing this to protect her, to keep her safe and to spare her the experience of yet another capture, but she was more than willing to concede to the risk if it only meant she could go with him. She couldn't stand being separated from him when he was all she had left.

His dark eyes narrowed on her, his intense gaze indicating that he was ticked off. "Carter, will you finally stop with the 'sir'!" he snapped at her irritated.

"I will go with 'sir' whenever you treat me as military," she denied him.

Frustrated with her, he raked his hand through his hair roughly, getting it to stick up in all directions. Just like hers, it was getting longer with the time passing, not really resembling his military cut any longer.

"You know that, sometimes, you can be a real pain in the ass?" he growled.

Well, she could give that right back, she thought, but military training ensured she kept her tongue in check while in the presence of her former CO. She hadn't outgrown her old habits enough to insult her CO yet. Still, she knew he could probably read it in her expression anyway, going by the way his eyes darkened angrily.

"I'm trying to keep you safe here, Carter," he grumbled irately.

Oh? What did he think of her?! She was no damsel in distress he needed to guard! She knew he probably meant no harm with that, but still she couldn't help but be offended by that.

"Well, I don't need you to do that!" she stated crossly.

He sighed and when he looked at her again, the dark energy possessing him just a moment ago seemed to have retreated a little. "I know," he acknowledged, before continuing in a serious tone she had seldom heard him use: "But I can't help it. It's just the way I am that I want to protect what's precious to me!"

Sam forgot to breathe, her breath getting stuck somewhere in her throat. She was… precious to him? Really? He had known he would lose this argument anyways and had no means of making her stay back, but still he had tried, risking a fight with her because he couldn't stand the thought of endangering her?

Sam was aware that he was right that the danger they were in had doubled at best with their own men after them now. Sam was also aware he was assessing their situation pretty accurate and knowing the Colonel as well as she did, she found it matched that he tried to protect her, even if he knew all too well that she wouldn't need his protection. But just like she couldn't stand the thought of him going into danger alone, fearing for him, he would be reluctant to drag her into it when he thought he could avoid it. Sam knew he would rather go and put himself into danger a thousand times over than to chance endangering her if he had a choice.

Still, Sam wouldn't budge with this one. Either she would go as well, or neither of them would go.

"Jack…" she whispered barely audible. "If you were to go alone, then how could I protect what's precious to me?"

He looked at her astonished as if that thought was new to him. That was just so him to forget that she was much in the same situation he was in! Sam smiled almost automatically, feeling her anger leave her gradually. She had told him before, hadn't she? When she had been possessed by Nirrti… So how come he still forgot that she was driven by much the same feelings as he was when it came to the other's safety and well-being?

"Sam…" he murmured back, sounding surprised. Was he remembering what she was as well?

Suddenly, he surged forwards, crossing what little distance was between them. Sam felt him roughly grab her around the neck, pulling her head in to him. His lips crashed against hers urgently. In spite of all the recent kisses they had shared, this one was not gentle in any way. It was rough, hard and passionate. He hovered over her, supporting his weight with his free arm that held him upright over her. He pushed against her with strength and Sam felt herself surrender to him almost immediately. He needed something from her, assurance, certainty and physical contact, and she was more than willing to give him what he was seeking. His mouth pushed hers open and as soon as she complied, opening up to him, Jack's tongue entered her mouth, roughly taking possession. Sam met his advance eagerly, actually sighing in pleasure when he took over completely, dominating their kiss. She wasn't giving up control often or willingly but with him she felt herself give in readily, enjoying the incredible feeling. Although he wasn't holding back, he tried to be careful with her and Sam felt safe and protected despite the rough handling and the strong grips.

Sam let herself sink back onto her sleeping bag and he was following her immediately, refusing to break their contact. His mouth kept exploring hers while Sam reached up, snaking her arms around his back. With an impatient tug she pulled him down fully on her and while his weight was positively crushing, she reveled in the feeling of his body so close to hers. Her hands were roaming over his back, feeling the distinct muscles through his BDUs. Their lips were moving nonstop with each other's, only breaking contact to draw in short breaths, before they would crash together once more. He was impatiently tugging at her bottom lip when she took a second too long, her chest heaving against his upper torso with the need to breathe, and when she moaned to the feeling of his teeth nibbling at her lower lip, he growled lowly, contently, in response.

Finally it was the passion Sam had missed between them. It was the intimacy of not only the affection between them but the lust and the undeniable, electrical attraction they shared. Sam clutched onto him, her fingers curling into his jacket, all the while wishing he would shed it. He shifted his weight, keeping himself upright on one forearm, while his now free hand grabbed onto her waist. Sam couldn't help the unintentional jerk she did at feeling his warm fingers on her body, even if it was through her BDU shirt. He began running them up her side, caressing her through her clothes and Sam began gasping for air. Her pulse sped up so much and she couldn't get enough oxygen into her body with their kisses, so soon the world around her started spinning. When his hand grazed the underside of her breast through her shirt, Sam actually threw back her head, an audible moan escaping her. He simply averted his attention to her neck, kissing his way from her jaw to her ear where he found her sensitive spot again with an astonishing accuracy. Sam tried to concentrate on her breathing, because she was in serious danger of hyperventilating. When the world finally wasn't rotating around her anymore, all her senses focused on the man above her and the feel of his body pressed to hers and his fingers exploring her body. Sam let one of her hands run up his back, stroking over his spine and then entangled it in his short hair while he worked on the side of her neck. She held onto him with all the strength she possessed and rubbed her cheek against the side of his head, wanting as much contact with him as possible. Her frantic, irregular breath washed down his neck and her heartbeat echoed in her ears. Heat began spreading through her body, leaving her squirming under him. Instinctively and without noticing, Sam parted her legs, making room for him where her body wanted him the most right now.

He stopped.

Abruptly, he broke off from her. Sam actually needed a second or two to notice.

He pushed back, bringing distance between them. Before Sam had understood what had happened, he had left her. He scrambled out of the tent, not even closing the flap behind him and was gone before she had even processed what was going on.

All riled up, hot and confused beyond words, Sam stared after him, trying to make out what she had done wrong now.

A/N: God, I swear I wanted this chapter to end very differently but no matter how I tried, it simply felt off and not true to Jack's and Sam's characters… Sometimes it's frustratingly hard to write them realistically.