Derek swiftly caught Meredith as she began to fall to the floor. He quickly rushed her over to the sofa and laid her down. She had panicked. She had blacked out. He was nearly in a panic himself, wondering why she had gotten so upset. He is the one that should be upset. But then again, his soon-to-be ex-wife was pregnant. So yeah, she had a reason to be upset too.
"Meredith..." Derek said loudly as he knelt next to her. "Mer." He said as she rubbed her arm.
"Mmm..." She muttered as she started to come to. She opened her eyes quickly and sat up. Derek watched as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. So many tears, falling one by one.
"Mer... I'm not- It's okay." He said as he wiped the tears away with his thumb. "You're okay..."
"No. No. I knew it. I knew if I told you. Oh god. I'm going to be alone. I can't- I can't do it alone. I won't- I won't make it." She said as she gasped for air desperately.
"Why would you be alone? I- I don't want a child with Kristy, but that won't change us, Mer. I promise, it won't change. I'm so sorry." He said as he rubbed his face.
The thought of a baby with Kristy made him sick. He cared for her a lot. But to be tied to her for the rest of his life was a death sentence. To be stuck making the tiniest of decisions for a child. The guilt that would be thrown on him when her refused to reconcile with Kristy would be so high. He wondered how? He knew how. But how because they always used protection. And Kristy was on birth control. Unless, as s last stitch effort, she decided to get pregnant, with hopes to keep him. He loved Meredith, and it made him sick to think about what this would do to them.
"Kris- Kristy?" Meredith gasped as she still struggled to fill her lungs. "Kristy's pregnant?" Meredith said as she started to cry harder. Now she was really sick.
Two babies. One with his wife, and one with his on the side lover. Two. This was horrible. Unimaginable. She felt as if she was dying inside. She thought she was on steady ground. Then she found out she was pregnant. But she accepted that, and was once again on steady ground. But now, she was on the shakiest ground she had ever felt. And if she had to choose between being alone and falling, she'd rather fall.
"That's who you're talking about, right?" Derek said as he looked up at her. He watched as her nose scrunched up.
"No..." She cried out. "I'm- I'm pregnant." She said as she covered her face and cried.
"Wait. You? You're? I'm? You're pregnant?" He asked with a huge smile on his face.
"Yes." She nodded as she looked at him through blurry eyes.
"I- Wow... I thought you meant Kristy. Oh thank god!" He said with a relieved sigh. The looked up as it hit him. "I'm going to be a dad. I'm... I'm going to be a dad!" He said loudly.
"You're not mad?" She said as she looked up at him.
"Mad? Are you kidding? I'm going to be a dad!" He said as he pulled her close. She closed her eyes and laid against him. "I'm going to be a dad." He said as he pulled away. She looked up at the tears falling from his eyes.
"You're crying." She said as she wiped his tears.
"I've never been this happy. Not since the first time you told me you loved me." He said as he looked into her eyes. "How long have you known?"
"A few days. I was so scared to tell you." She said as she looked at his warm face.
"That explained the nausea. And that you aren't doing coffee. Wow. And the pain pills..." He said as he thought back. She nodded her head.
"I'm so scared." Meredith said softly.
"Of what?" Derek asked as he rubbed her back.
"Kristy. And Adrien. And I'm not a mom." Meredith told him.
"First of all, Kristy- Don't worry about her. And Adrien- Mer, you will be a wonderful mom. We were going to have kids. And now, we're going to have a baby." He said with a smile as he kissed her on the forehead. She looked into his eyes. He seemed so sure. She didn't want to ruin the moment, but he needed to know.
"Derek... I had sex with Adrien. I- We- You and I, we didn't use a condom. I always did with him. I have an appointment with Addie on Thursday. I would understand if you didn't want anything to do with it until you know." She said as the tears began to fall. "I just don't want to do this alone..."
"You're not alone. And I'm here. No matter what, I am here for you." He slowly lifted her shirt and placed his lips on her abdomen. "I'm your dad. And I know you're not Frenchy's. His guys aren't very good." He said softly as he kissed her stomach again.
"Derek..." She said as she looked down at him.
"No, Mer. I know..." He said as he stroked her cheek. Meredith looked down as he phone started to ring. She looked down at the screen. For the first time today, it wasn't Adrien, it was Mark.
"It's Mark." She said as she flipped it open. "Hey."
"Are you ever coming home?" Mark joked. "It's so lonely here."
"Funny." She giggled softly. Derek's face lit up as he listened to her.
"Seriously, you need to eat dinner. Baby needs food, so does mom." He warned.
"I know baby needs food, Mark. I'll be home in awhile." She told him. She looked over at Derek who shook his head no. "What?" She mouthed, as Mark continued to talk.
"You're staying here tonight. You're too shaken up to drive." He told her frankly. She shook her head no. "No arguing. You can sleep in the spare room, but you aren't driving. Plus you need to eat, and I was just getting ready to cook. No to mention I think we have a lot to talk about." She took a deep sigh.
"Mark, I don't think I'll be home tonight." Meredith told him.
"Oh God, I hope you're not with that fucking Frenchman." He said quickly.
"No, I'm at Derek's." Meredith told him.
"You told him?" He asked, in shock.
"I did." Meredith answered. Derek was listening intently.
"And?" Mark said quickly.
"I think we're going to be okay." Meredith said with a smile.
----------------
Meredith washed the salty tears off of her face. Derek didn't have any good bath soaps. All manly stuff. All stuff that smelled like him, but what she wanted to smell like. That should make her feel better, that meant there was no women around. Although she had told him over and over again that he was free to move on, she prayed to god that he wouldn't. The thought of him with someone else, made her sick. She couldn't believe she was in Derek's apartment. Six months ago, she never thought she'd see him again. And six months ago, she didn't ever want to see him again. She washed her hair, letting the hot water run down her achy body. After a few minutes, she turned the water off and wrapped a plush towel around her body as she stepped out. She heard a soft knock on the door.
"Yeah?" She asked softly as she cracked the door open. She looked up at his soft blue eyes.
"Here is something for you to sleep in." He said as he handed her a tee shirt and sleep pants.
"Thanks." She said with a broken smile as she grabbed them and shut the door.
She sat down on the toilet and put her head in her hands. She knew in her heart that this was Derek's baby. But if she was wrong, if it wasn't, she didn't want to see him crushed. She slowly brought herself to her feet and began dressing. Her eyes teared up as she looked at the pajama bottoms. Black-watch plaid. Worn thin. They were the same ones that she had always worn. She lifted them to her nose, and ran the soft fabric across her cheek. She knew them anywhere.
"These are..." She said as she walked out and looked at the pants.
"They are. They were one of the only things I could take with me. I looked around that apartment, and- I- I couldn't breathe. I couldn't take the pain. So I left. I left everything. But I couldn't leave them." He said sadly. "I slept with them for months..."
"I can't believe they haven't fallen apart." She said with a giggle.
"I was very careful with them." He told her frankly. "They honestly weren't washed much. And after- You were the last one to wear them, and I didn't wash them for a year."
"Derek! That's gross." She said as she scrunched her nose.
"I know. But they smelled like you. And I couldn't let that go." He told her as he walked up and kissed her head.
"I'm just glad a have a chance to wear them again." She said with a deep sigh.
"Me too." He said with a smile. "I hope you're hungry." He said with a smile.
"Starving. What did you make?" She said as she took a deep breath. She knew she smelled something. It was faint. All the crying as plugged her head up.
"Chicken parmesan." He said with a grin.
"My favorite! How did you- The sauce takes all day." She said with confusion.
"I made some sauce last week and froze it." He explained.
"So you still cook..." She said happily.
"Of course I do... Although I haven't for awhile." Derek pointed out as he placed the salad on the table.
"Kristy always cooked..." Meredith said softly, thinking about what Kristy had told her.
"She did. But I was rarely home to eat it. I usually ate out. Or ate that crap from the cafeteria." He explained. "And of course, I would eat one cream filled donut and a cup of coffee a week..."
"You, a donut?" She said in shock as she lightly covered her salad with italian dressing.
"For you. I had to. It just made me feel closer to you." He told her, and felt foolish for even admitting it.
"Well, you don't have to do it anymore. I wouldn't want you to die an early death." She giggled, knowing how he like to eat healthy. She slowly ate her salad and smiled when she saw the chicken. It was her absolute favorite. She hadn't had it in years, because she knew no one could make it like Derek or his mom.
"Oh god... Oh..." She moaned as she tasted the chicken.
"God, you sound like you're having sex." He said with a chuckle.
"Oh this is better than sex." She said with a nod.
"Seriously?" As he looked up at her.
"Damn close." She told him with an happy nod.
"Well, we could test that theory..." He said as he raised his eye brow.
"You are so bad." She answered as she shook her head.
"Fine. I'll have to eliminate the competition." He said as he lifted the chicken off of the table.
"Touch the chicken, and you won't be working on brains anymore because you won't have hands." She said quickly. He let go and looked up at her. "I'm pregnant, don't mess with me."
"Okay." Derek said conservatively. They both looked at each other and started laughing. "We are having a baby..." He thought aloud.
"That we are." Meredith said with a smile.
By the time they finished eating and cleaned the kitchen up, it was already getting late. They were both exhausted from the mental anguish that had both been through. Meredith insisted that she sleep in the spare room. As she said, she was pregnant, so Derek decided not to argue. Meredith went into the unfamiliar quiet room and snuggled underneath the covers. She stared at the wall for awhile. She didn't want to be alone. Not tonight.
She crawled out of the comfortable bed and made her way across the hallway. Derek was sleeping. She could tell by his shallow breathing. She didn't care. She was sleeping in his bed. And she didn't care what he thought. She walked around to the other side of the bed. She lifted the covers and crawled beneath. Derek opened his eyes when he felt her cold body touch his.
"Holy shit you're cold!" He said as he laid his hand against her leg.
"I know. I'm always cold." She said as she shivered.
"Is that why you're in here? Do you need a heat source?" He laughed.
"No. I didn't want to sleep alone." She said with a defeated sigh.
"Good. Neither did I." He said with a smirk.
"But you were sleeping when I came in." She giggled.
"Well, I'm not now." He said as he leaned on her elbow and stared into her eyes.
She couldn't pull her gaze away from his. It was like a power he had over her. She needed to be with him. She needed him. She softly closed her eyes and leaned forward, he lips colliding his in a moment of passion. She parted her lips allowing his prodding tongue entrance. They danced an erotic dance, pushing, pulling and tasting each other. He rolled gently over, so that his arms laid on either side of her body on the bed. He pulled away, and trailed his mouth down her neck, sucking on her collarbone. She moaned as his soft touch. A touch that felt so perfect. Pulling her shirt up, he pecked soft kissed on her abdomen. His hand travelled down, running beneath her pants. She felt his fingers running along her moist, hot slit.
"No." She moaned loudly. Her body was screaming yes. But she knew she couldn't do it.
"What?" Derek asked as he pulled his mouth off of her delicate skin.
"We can't." She sighed with disappointment. "I want to. Oh God do I want to. But we can't. I need time. I need to think. This just- It messes with my head." She told him with a frown.
"Okay." He said with a nod. He planted a large kiss on her stomach and pulled her shirt down. "I respect that." He said with a sigh as he laid back. "I admire your willpower." He said as he looked at his hard member.
"Derek... I'm sorry." She said as she looked down.
"It's fine. I just need to take a cold shower now." He said as he started to climb out of bed.
"Don't. I need you warm." She said as her cold hand grabbed his.
"Okay. But you can't move. And I can't smell you, so I can't breathe." He said with a sigh.
"Oh Derek!" She giggled as she scooted her body closer to his, absorbing his warmth. Derek took a deep breath as he felt his body react to hers. "Seriously!" She laughed as she felt his large cock poking into her.
"I can't help it." He grumbled as he shifted slightly.
"Well, goodnight." She said softly as she smirked and laughed to herself.
"Night." He moaned as he laid there, suffering.
Not so bad, right? You must learn to trust! And review. And thank you to those that do. I base a lot of how I take things on your comments. I always check them first.