ALL IN THE FAMILY
"So who's this mystery date?"
Helena leans against the large kitchen island, chopping green beans as she's barraged with questions by her sleuthing brothers. Making sure to place the state-of-the-art, slab granite countertop between her and them. Just in case those sharp eyes of theirs happen to catch sight of that notorious bump of hers.
Not that she thinks she's showing. Well, maybe just a little. Enough to make her paranoid, at least. Enough to stuff herself inside a bulky, albeit fashionable, sweater for tonight's main event.
"Is THAT what you guys are calling him?" Helena laughs. "My MYSTERY date."
"Depends." Todd rolls his shoulders indifferently. "Is he as big a tool as the LAST assho-"
"LANGUAGE, Master Jason."
Pennyworth glares at the young man standing idly in his kitchen. Tucked in the corner with his hands stashed away in his pockets. Wearing his trademark leather jacket, he hadn't even bothered dressing for the occasion. Nor is he being of any use at the moment. Besides taking up space as the rest of the "family" helps prepare the meal.
"Sorry, Alfie." Jason mutters beneath his breath.
With a grin, Helena steals a green bean. Popping it in her mouth with enjoyment while watching Jay's reaction to being scolded like a child. Not that she's a tattle-tale by any means, but sometimes it's fun to see her brothers get their share of guff. It's the little things like this that makes her feel like they're a real family.
"What I MEANT to say is, I hope he's not as big an... IDIOT... as the last guy you dated." Jason corrects his earlier assessment.
"I don't know. I mean, I thought Kevin was a really nice guy." Dick chimes in. "Boring. But nice."
"Yeah, well, you WOULD think that." Jay grumbles.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Dick argues back.
Right on cue, the two begin to quarrel. Heated as always and over nothing at all.
Peeling potatoes, Tim turns to Helena. Perhaps the most level-headed of the group. Or at least the most worthy of taking over the mantle of the Bat.
"So, is that why you wanted us to all get together?" He begs the question. "To meet your new boyfriend?"
By the age of thirteen, he'd puzzled out the greatest mystery of all. And all on his own. He'd deciphered the identity of the Batman. Something even the Riddler would be envious of. So, of all the boy wonder detectives standing in this room, Tim is the one Helena is most cautious of.
"Not JUST to meet my new boyfriend." Helena replies. It may be a half-truth, but it's not entirely a lie. "I mean... Why does there have to be a motive? Can't we all just get together every once in a while for no reason at all and have a nice dinner together as a family?"
"NO!"
In unison, the Robins reply. Perhaps the one and only thing they will ever agree on. Alfred can only shake his head and sigh.
Tim opens his mouth to further the investigation. Lucky for Helena, she's saved by the bell.
The butler wipes his hands on his apron, readying himself to go answer the door. Making himself more presentable for whomever the caller might be. But Helena's too quick. She jumps to the occasion, racing into the hallway.
"I got it!" She calls out.
Even if it's not her MYSTERY DATE, anything is better than her brother's take on twenty questions. Just a moment longer and she may very well have let the cat out of the bag.
It's like they say, after all. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Hand to the latch, Helena can feel all eyes upon her. Like shadows in the darkness or ghosts in the walls. Damn ninjas.
Her brothers peer at her from the hallway. Her father from the top of the stairs. Even Alfred looms curiously. All anxious to see who's behind door number one.
Funny how this isn't even the most difficult part of the evening. They have no idea what they're in for tonight.
With a deep breath, she pulls the door open. Giving them exactly what they crave. In the doorway stands a very dapper-looking witch man. Dressed in his usual black jacket and slacks. For the occasion, a red dress shirt and tie. Klarion stands tall with his head high. Dignified and regal looking. Like a dignitary in a foreign land. He's determined not to let his apprehension show.
Helena reaches out to him, pulling the Warlock into a hug. He stands rigid in her arms.
"Ease up. Don't worry, you're doing fine." She uses their bond to tell him telepathically. "You look great, by the way."
Klarion offers her a timid smile, nodding softly. He takes her advice, loosening up just a bit.
For all the Bat-family to witness, the witch leans forward to give his girlfriend a polite kiss on the lips.
Timothy grins and elbows Jason in the side.
"That's twenty bucks." He reminds his brother of their behind-the-scenes bet. "Pay up."
With a groan, the Hood reaches for his wallet.
By the time dinner's served, all their guests have arrived.
Strange to think there was a time when Helena felt so alone. Like she had no one to turn to. She was all on her own. Now she has more family than she knows what to do with.
A mother and father. The Cat and the Bat, seated on either end of the grand dining table. King and queen of Gotham. They're the pillars of this household. Everything rests upon their shoulders.
Beside them sit her brothers and sisters, not by blood but by bond. Side by side, gathered all around.
Tim the Red Robin. Dick, Nightwing. Stephanie, who also just so happens to be Tim's date for the evening, the Batgirl. Barbara seated to Dick's side, also known to all as Oracle. And last but not least, Jason. The Red Hood. Though he may not like to admit, he's every bit a part of this family as any other.
Each and every one of them wear the insignia of the Bat. Each and every one beside a certain Warlock. Sticking out like a sore thumb. The bright blue elephant in the room.
They've all earned their spot at the table. Some more so than others. Some with hard work and dedication. Some with their lives. For those good soldiers who could not be with them here today, Bruce raises his glass to make a toast. Helena's kith follow suit. Then they all dig in.
Greedy as always, Jason needs to be the first. Making sure he grabs the biggest and best part of the roast. Dick's quick to chastise and the two begin to fight.
The youngest of the brothers can only shake his head and sigh, while the girls giggle at the pair and pour themselves a glass of wine.
Arms folded and silent, Bruce sits vigilant over the ruckus. Watching over his family as they chat and eat and bicker and gossip. Barbara and Tim talk tech and schematics. Stephanie and Helena, the new nightclub on 52nd. Dick and Jay keep at it. And Klarion looks as if he's about to croak.
With devilish delight, Selina swirls a glass of red. Smirking at the witch-man as if she knows something. Like a cat that's just eaten the canary. Her blatant staring is only making him more nervous. Absolutely panicky, Klarion gulps hard.
"So, Hel." Stephanie begins. "Klarion ever tell you how we know each other?"
Hearing his name grabs the Warlock's attention.
"You two know each other?" Helena eagerly asks her sick-looking beau.
Oh, Croatoa, kill him now. Enslaving an entire metahuman population via alien invasion was easy. Dinner with the Batmans...
"Yeah, it was YEARS ago. We spent Valentine's Day together." Steph grins.
Helena's eyes grow wide.
"Oh my god!" She exclaims. "He told me it was A Batgirl but I didn't know it was YOU Batgirl. I mean there's been like FOUR of 'em. I had no idea!" The Huntress turns to the culprit in question. "You never told me you kissed, STEPHANIE, Blue!"
"Wait. What's going on." Tim picks up on the conversation. "Who kissed Steph?"
A cool customer, Tim's never been one for jealousy. And yet when it comes to Stephanie, even he gets a little hot around the collar.
"Klarion did." Helena teases.
"Yeah. We totally had a thing." Stephanie confirms.
"And he said you taste disgusting." Hel smirks.
"Wait. WHAT?!" Steph shouts.
Jay bursts out laughing, taking a moment from his petty quarreling for the girl's gossip fest. Their conversation is so much more fun than his anyhow.
"HA!" He explodes. "You best watch out, Dick. Witch Boy's gotta taste for bat blood! If you're not careful, he'll steal your girl too!"
"You're just jealous because I HAVE a girl to steal!" Dick bites back.
"Oh COME ON!" Stephanie shouts above the commotion. "No one stole anyone. It was just a kiss and it was like FOREVER ago. It's ancient history. Back before Tim and I were even, well... Whatever we are."
"FRIENDS!" Tim returns, red in the face. "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!"
Helena leans back in her chair and laughs. Hands on her belly, afraid she'll split her side she's laughing so hard.
"What are you doing?" Klarion panics in her head.
"Just having a little fun."
"At my expense!"
"Oh, lighten up." Helena giggles in his mind. "Laugh a little, Blue. You look like you're gonna puke."
"Well excuse me if I'm just a tad uneasy. Seeing as I'm about to DIE and all."
"You're not gonna die."
"Tell that to your mother. She looks like she's about to make me her dinner."
"That's just how she ALWAYS looks." Hel laughs. "Besides, no one's gonna eat you. Dead, alive, or otherwise."
Helena places a comforting hand on Klarion's leg, giving his knee a little squeeze for reassurance.
"The more nervous you get, the more guilty you look. Just try to stay calm, OK? Relax. Try to have a little fun."
"Easy for you to say." Klarion snidely replies. "I haven't had the super secret ninja training like you all have."
Her hand moves up his thigh, stopping at the inseam. Just a little too close for comfort right now.
"We could go excuse ourselves for a moment, if you like." Helena flirts. "Would that help you relax?"
The sound of her voice reverberating through his skull makes his flesh warm. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
Klarion's eyes flit towards Bruce, who's been scowling at the Warlock the whole time. The witch gulps down hard and grabs Helena's hand from his groin. Placing it back on his knee.
"Just breathe." She purrs inside his head. "Breathe and smile. You got this."
The witch takes a deep breath. Then another. Calming amidst the chaos around him. The swirl of voices and laughter. Conversations and quarrelling. She's right. He's got this.
"So Klarion, tell me what you've been up to lately." Selina drawls, speaking up. "It's been a while since we've seen you around."
It feels like a trap and it more than certainly is. The Cat grins behind her Cabernet, awaiting his response.
"Well... I... Um... As you know, I... uh... went through a rather dark time in my life. After which, I did a bit of traveling. Well, more like dimensional jumping, really." Klarion replies, laying the charm on thick. Best not to mention the attempted genocide or world domination. "Until it finally hit me what I wanted to do with my life. Which is devoting my time and energy to leading my people towards a better future. And it's all because of Helena. I spent my entire adolescence running from home. From my responsibilities. She's taught me the true meaning of family and belonging. I couldn't have accomplished any of this without her. Your daughter is very important to me."
Her hand in his, he looks over at Helena and smiles softly. She looks completely awestruck. As if she couldn't be more proud.
Selina smirks slyly and takes another sip of her wine. It would seem she approves of his answer. And of him with her daughter.
As for Bruce, he hasn't said a single word since Klarion's arrival. Nor has he done so much as move a single eyebrow. He wears that same scowling, brooding expression as always. That look that Klarion can't quite decode. Could be angry? Pissed? Hungry? For all the witch knows it could very well be the Bat's HAPPY face. But one thing's for certain, the whole dinner long, the detective has been judging him. Scrutinizing over every last detail. Watching the Warlock sweat. Sniffing out clues. Trying to find even the littlest shred of deception.
"And I suppose I have YOU to thank for that, sir." Klarion directs his attention towards Bruce, who's now tilted his head ever so slightly in interest. "Helena told me how you're responsible for our chance re-acquaintance. If it hadn't been for you, we probably wouldn't have gotten back together. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you."
All voices around the table sigh in awe, all except a certain shade of Red. Jason groans.
"Now this is all positively Hallmark." He complains. "No, really. Grade A, Brady Bunch stuff up in here and all, but... Please don't tell me I wasted an entire night of tracking down the head of the Russian mafia's drug cartel and filling him full of holes just so I could hear how mushy gushy you guys are."
"I hate to agree with Todd, but he's right." Dick chimes in. A strange sight to see the two of them actually in tune with one another. Must be a cold day in Hell. "You didn't call us all here just for that. There's something else. Isn't there."
Helena takes a deep breath. Guess it's now or never. She's taken them all to the edge. Now's the time to leap.
"You're right." She slowly concurs. "There's something else."
Now's Klarion's turn to give her hand a little squeeze for reassurance. Right now she needs all the courage she can muster.
"I wanted everyone here tonight in order to tell you all something very important." Helena continues bravely. "I know we don't always see eye to eye and we all have our differences. Sometimes we all don't get along and right now, we'd all like to be anywhere but here. I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with lately. And sometimes, Jay, you can be one big pain in the ass. Tim, you're a know it all. And Dick, you're... well... a dick. But you're my brothers. And we're a family. A team. I just wanted to say sorry, and thank you all for being there for me. Even if it didn't feel like I needed you there or wanted your help, you helped me more than you'll ever know. And with that being said, there's no one in the world I'd rather share this with than you. My family. You see, Klarion and I are-"
"GETTING MARRIED! HA!" Dick interrupts joyfully. "Looks like I win! Pay up!"
"Duuuuuude..." Tim groans beneath his breath. Embarrassed at his brother's immaturity, he holds his head in his hand.
Like a deer in headlights, Helena sits blankly for a moment. She'd gotten so caught up in the heartfelt speech she'd prepared, she doesn't know whether to start over or not. Maybe it's best not to leave them hanging any longer. Just get right to the point.
"Uh... No." She replies, much to Dick's disappointment. "Actually, Klarion and I are having a baby." Cheeks a bit rosy, she smiles warmly and continues. "I'm pregnant."
Where she's expecting hoots and hollers, clapping and congratulations, this time she's answered by silence. Dead silence all around. Eyes wide and unblinking, they all stare at her in shock.
Mid-bite, Jay's fork slips from his grip and falls back to the plate. A clatter echoes, followed by the splatter of food.
"Hoooo-leeeee shiiii-"
Alfred's silver tea tray falls to the ground. The loud crash cuts the sound of Master Jason's notoriously dirty mouth short.
"HA! Ha HA! I KNEW IT! I knew it I knew it I knew it I KNEW IT!" Babs pipes up. She'd been so quiet during dinner. It's strange to see her so animated. "PAY UP, BOYS! That's a hundred from EACH of you!"
"YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?"
Bruce Wayne's deep baritone booms, making Barbara shrink back.
"Well... Maybe not EXACTLY." She replies more cautiously than her outburst before. "I mean, I had my suspicions. It was really just a theory, at best."
The mood of the table turns from shock to scared stiff. No one says a word. No one moves a muscle. No one besides Selina.
Unimpressed with her darker half's rather macho show of authority, she pours herself another glass of red. Smirking at the spectacle, she cozies back into her chair. Ready to watch the fur fly.
The Dark Knight turns his icy glare on Klarion. Slowly unfolding his large, brutish arms, he places his hands to either side, palms down on the grand oak table. He leans in close. Not close enough to be anywhere near the Warlock, there's still several people seated between them. But close enough to make the witch shrink back in his seat as well.
Klarion can't help but think this is the end. His life is over. If only he had some sort of charm or enchantment, but truth is he's much to petrified to fight. His brain can't even think up a single spell to cast. His teeth are chattering so hard, there's no way he could possibly conjure up a single word.
He's completely helpless. Useless. Even Teekl's of no use to him. The tabby had long since snuggled up in the Catwoman's lap. Completely oblivious to the commotion around him. That his master's in danger. That the end is nigh.
Purring as she strokes his soft fur. Content as can be. The traitor.
What can the Warlock do? He's completely surrounded. Reds and Robins and Batgirls all around. The Batman at the forefront. The judge and executioner. Eyes set square on the guilty.
Bruce opens his mouth to speak and Klarion cringes, expecting the worst.
"Is she safe?"
That wasn't exactly what the Warlock had expected him to say. In fact, he's pleasantly surprised. Even if Helena's not.
"DADDY!" She shouts, aggravated.
Just once in her life, is it too much to ask that he act like a NORMAL human being? To congratulate her like a NORMAL father would? Why does he always have to spout regulation and precautions. She's not his soldier, she's his daughter.
But the truth is, he DOES care. More than she'll ever know. Perhaps she'll come to realize once she has a child of her own. Her safety is the most important thing in the world to him. Her life matters most over anything at all.
"I was talking to the Warlock." Bruce keeps his gaze held fast on Klarion. "Is. She. Safe."
Sitting upright in his chair, Klarion holds his head up high. Determined to show he's not afraid anymore. Of him or anything else. Determined to show he's worthy. Of his approval. Of his daughter. Of the task laid out before him. Of keeping her safe. Protecting the world.
If there's one thing the witch-man knows for certain about the Detective, it's that he's anything but stupid. He knows everything about everything.
It's not so much his muscles that's worth fearing, though they are most very fearsome, indeed. But his brain, his knowledge and tact, is what villains dread most. Ok, THAT and eating through a tube for the rest of their miserable existence.
Bruce is smart. He has contingency plans for any thing and any one. Even his friends. Those he trusts most. The guy even has a way of taking down the Superman, for crying out loud. Not to mention, the entire Justice League. So Klarion KNOWS Bruce knows the risks involved with both he and Helena being together. Without a doubt, he even knows the risks involved with her unlikely pregnancy.
So when Bruce asks Klarion whether or not his daughter is safe, the witch knows exactly what the father means.
"With my life, sir. I promise with my life." Klarion replies honestly. With a look of great resolve, he returns the older man's bold gaze. Sharing in his intentions. "She is safe."
Like alphas, the two stare each other down. Neither budging from their firm stance. Until finally, Bruce gives in. With the slightest of smirks, he leans back in his chair. Picking up his fork and finally starting on his supper.
The mood around the table slowly returns to normal. Or whatever their "family" considers as "normal".
"Looks like the Wayne family tree just got a little bit WEIRDER." Tim mumbles.
"HA! You're just still butt-hurt Papa Smurf kissed your girl." Jay laughs.
"SHE'S NOT MY GIRL!"
The laughter resumes and the chaos returns. Klarion blinks and finally relaxes in his seat. He exhales in relief, having made it out of the trial by fire alive. There'll be no witch burning tonight. Instead, a silent agreement is made. Between two fathers. The torch has been passed. The Warlock has earned his place at the table.
Fun Facts: YES, there have been FOUR Batgirls. Count 'em, four. Betty Kane, Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cane, and Stephanie Brown. Though, Helena Bertinelli DID assume the mantle during No Man's Land without the Bat's permission.
Also, the toast at the table for the good soldiers who couldn't be with them here today, I did as a nod towards Damian Wayne. Helena's brother from another mother. Literally. I had plans to have him in this story, but since his recent death in the comics, I wasn't quite sure how to make it work. Looks like they're recently working on his resurrection (NO ONE stays dead in comics these days!) but not knowing how he comes back, I thought it might complicate my storyline. Instead, I've given Jason the part as her favorite brother. Seeing as they've both gone through the same hardships. Dead and back. Ostracization from the "family" for their violent ways. Bla bla bla... Etc.
Welp... I've prattled on long enough! Now's your turn. Send me those reviews, will ya? Pretty please XOXO