Little Girl Lost

By:LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Every year on December 18th, Shelby Corcoran rides around aimlessly lost in thought, mourning the death of her baby girl. The little girl that three years ago she was supposed to give up for adoption. It hits midnight and Shelby runs into something she lost forever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and any of the characters. I do own this story line and all of the ideas and new characteristics that come with it.

A/n: So guess who got a new laptop?

I will finally be able to write and update when I want to.

This chapter is sort of a filler and its full of flashbacks and its sort of like chapter to answer and put together some missing pieces.

Hope it doesn't get too confusing. But I think it will turn out good in the end. This may also be a long chapter.

Trigger warning: Mentions of Sexual, physical and mental abuse of a minor along with death and murder.

Please Beware and do not read if you can't handle it.

Enjoy =)

Chapter 37 Tightening up Loose Ends

March 21, 2014

"So where should I start?" Shelby looked across the room towards the man in front of her.

Shelby had never thought in a million years she would be sitting in front of a therapist. But with everything that has happened in the last few months, Shelby gladly took the recommendation for a therapist from her sister.

"Why are you here?" The man asked bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Shelby looks over to Dr. Carey incredulously.

"I want you to tell me why you think you are here." The older man sat up a little straighter. "Not because you think you have to be here but why do you think you are here? Why are you here?"

Shelby looks down at her hands for a second and then back up to the man in front of her. "I needed someone to talk to. I need to let it all out."

Dr. Carey notices the way Shelby fidgets.

He can tell that she is nervous.

"So let's start with something easy. Tell me about your life."

"Well I'm an English and Music teacher at Carmel High School for the Arts or just Carmel High." Shelby pushes some of her hair behind her ear. "I've lived in Ohio most my life, but I'm originally from Columbus. My parents have a big house out there where my brother, 3 sisters and I grew up. I also have a beautiful little girl who turned 3 a few months ago , Rachel."

Dr. Carey could see how Shelby began to light up at Rachel's name.

"Tell me about your brother and sisters. What was it like to grow up in your home as a child. How are your relationships with each of your family members?"

Shelby didn't understand the point of his questioning now but she figured he had to get to the roots to be able to cut the tree or whatever.

"It was amazing. My parents Katherine and Michael are the most fun-loving, happy and encouraging parents. I mean they were strict but at home I always felt safe. When my parents had me, Eric, my older brother, was 8 and my sister Mary was 6." Shelby began. "I think Eric was upset that I wasn't a girl but he quickly got over it."

Dr. Carey indicated for her to continue.

"Eric is the oldest of us Corcoran children. He's our protector. Growing up he was stubborn and kind and rough at times. But he loved all of his baby sisters. Me and him were especially tight. He always took me wherever he went. But I think that was to get Brownie points with some of the girls at his high school." Shelby chuckled. "He taught me everything I knew about cars and boys and even baseball. My dad and my brother were my heroes, they still are. Now my brother is out there saving lives and changing the world in his own little way. I miss him to death and him leaving me for college was hard but I understood that it was his dream to become a doctor and save people."

Dr. Carey took down notes and gestured for her to move to the next person if she was ready.

"Next is my cooky and crazy sister Mary. I think I'm closer to her than any of my other siblings even though I love them all the same. Mary is my rock, she's my other half. Mary is what we would call a people person. She is always happy and smiling and cracking jokes. She always has some smart sarcastic comment and it just brightens your day no matter how sad you are. That's what I love most about her. She can make you laugh, and cry and question things at the same time. You know her pretty well so I would assume you know this."

The doctor gives a light nod. Even though he was way older than both women he worked alongside Mary a while ago.

"When we were growing up she was the girl that everyone wanted to be. A lot of girls envied her and this caused her to get into fights. Mary was tough, and likeable and popular which was something that I always wanted to be. I looked up to her and I still do. She was always there for me and we would always have a sleepover in each other's room. She is a person who I could tell all of my secrets to without being judged and I don't know what I would do without her giving me a reality check."

"Next is my younger sister Megan who is 4 years younger than me. Megan is the troublemaker in the family. She has never really gotten along with the rest of our siblings but me. She was my baby. That's what I called her when she was born. No one else could hold her other than me and my parents and I only tolerated that." Shelby smiled at the memories of herself at 4 years old. "We grew up to be close because we were the closest in age. Growing up it was like fire and fire with Mary and Megan. Since I was the middle sister I was automatically the peacemaker."

Shelby fiddles with her fingers a little.

She feels better and more comfortable sitting here while talking with the doctor. They are in Mary's office and Rachel is right upstairs taking a nap and Shelby can relax.

She is also happy that the man wanted to talk about something simple and not too deep now.

"Last but not least is my baby sister Elisabeth or Ellie. She's 16 now and we were surprised when she was born. She was surprise to even my parents. But we welcomed her hinto the family with love and kisses. I think after her birth my mother was happy to be able to say she was finally done at baby number 5."

"Now Ellie is a loner." Shelby continued to describe her sister. "She's artistic and creative and talented. She's a great kid and I just love how much she has grown into a beautiful young woman. She is the baby of the family so she is spoiled and the sweetest. She's a good kid and I have never had any problems with her. I actually miss her. They live 4 hours away and I know it seems like a little but to my family that's a lot. Rachel misses them, I miss them."

Dr. Carey studies the woman for a minute to give her a break.

"It sounds like your house was very action packed what with five kids." He inquires.

"Oh it was. Every morning was a little adventure with trying to get us all out of bed and to school on time with full bellies. My parents are amazing and I honestly have no idea how they kept us in line. The arguing, fighting and the screaming from us girls probably drove my mother crazy but she handled it. My father taught us how to fight. Believe me when I say he did not go easy on us at all. If we ever came home crying from loosing a fight we were in trouble. He taught us how to be strong and independent."

"Well that sounds like a wonderful childhood to have Shelby but obviously something has happened in your life for you to be here. Am I right?"The man crossed his legs.

Shelby looks down at her hands and then back up to the doctor. "Yes it did. I don't know where it all went downhill but it did."

"Now you mention a daughter Rachel. I have seen the news and I've heard the stories but I want to hear it directly from the source. Can you tell me how you came to your decision to have Rachel?"Dr. Carey asked the woman.

Shelby thought about it for a minute.

"I was straight out of college after getting my degree in English. I wanted to be on Broadway and that degree was just to please my parents in some way. I mean they supported my dream to be on Broadway but they wanted me to be insured. "

"So a few weeks after graduation I moved in with my boyfriend Bobby Landon. We were in a good place. I was getting ready to move to New York but I had no money. I could have asked my parents for help but I didn't want to. I wanted to show them that I could do it all on my own." Shelby tells the story. " One day while going to apply at a local café I found an ad in the newspaper for a gay couple looking for a surrogate. The description said they would pay the hospital bills and anything else needed. At first I saw dollar signs. But when I met them I fell in love with their charm and I wanted to give them a baby badly."

"So you didn't tell anyone about this?"Dr. Carey looks up from his pad of paper.

"No I told no one but my boyfriend but he wasn't very supportive of anything I wanted to do those days. It wasn't how he was raised. But that's a story for another time." Shelby answers. "I did a few rounds of InVitro and artificial insemination. Soon enough I was pregnant with their baby girl."

"Over those few months the Berry men doted over me and they spoiled me rotten. Back then Mary and her husband still lived in Columbus. So no one knew of my doings even though we were close we just had separate lives at the time." Shelby continued. "I fell in love with the child that I housed in my belly. With every kick, every flutter and all of the sonograms I fell harder. Leroy had told me a while after I got pregnant that he was the father. I don't know how he knew but I believe him now because even now after what he did I can still see some of the good in him through Rachel. Even some of the faces she makes screams him. I hate it sometimes but it wouldn't be Rachel without him. "

Dr. Carey nods a little observing how she speaks about the men and her experience with them.

"But all of my happiness ended when I was 6 months along and they showed me the contract. I felt cornered and alone and afraid. I wouldn't be able to see my baby until she was 18 years old. That broke my heart, but I was young and naïve." Shelby didn't mean that in more ways than one she still was. " Hiram manipulated me into thinking I would be in big trouble for selling my baby. That's what I was doing in a way. That' s how I felt. She was never mine to begin with, they reminded me. So I signed the contract."

"What happened after that? Did you tell anyone?"

"No." Shelby shook her head as she could feel herself getting upset thinking about the events in her past. "They were taking my baby and I could do nothing about it. I had changed my mind but it was too late. So when Rachel was born I dreaded the day that should've been the happiest day of my life. I would finally get to see my baby girl, just to see her get ripped out of my arms and to never see her again. I promised myself that when she turned 18 I would search for her. I wouldn't stop until I found her."

Dr. Carey let Shelby take a moment as he could see it was painful for the young woman to speak about all of this.

"She was born on December 18th ,2010 at 3:13 am." Shelby took another deep breath. "My baby girl who I had given birth to. Hiram and Leroy decided to wait in the waiting room and I didn't care as long as I got at least a few minutes with my baby. But as soon as Rachel was born I caught a glimpse of her. She was beautiful all 10 fingers and toes. But I noticed something...she wasn't crying."

Shelby wiped a few tears from her eyes.

It's almost as if she is reliving this scene right in front of her.

"I wiggled to get a good glimpse and when I did my

baby was turning purple and I could hear the doctors screaming to get her to the NICU. She stopped breathing because of her asthma."

Dr. Carey stood up to hand her a few tissues as the woman cried freely now. She was struggling to tell the story but he knew it would feel good for her to let it out.

"Next thing I knew a doctor was coming back to tell me that my baby had died, or so I thought." Shelby wiped a few tears away. "I called my sister hysterical and I told her everything. She was in town coincidentally that night and she drove to the hospital immediately. She held me all night as I cried. There was no sign of the Berry men and I should have known that something was up. But the nurse told me us we weren't allowed to see the baby."

"I couldn't really function after that. We told my family and we planted a memorial tree in the park." Shelby looked at the man. " I fell into a haze over the next few months and threw myself into work. I used the money that the men gave me and I moved to New York. After awhile I made it to Broadway. But one night before a show I had the worse cramps ever and I was rushed to the emergency room. I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer. I flew back home and there were some surgeries and I couldn't have anymore children."

Dr. Carey wrote this down in his notes.

He didn't say anything, he knew that Shelby needed this.

"I got a job at Carmel and I visited that tree everyday." Shelby hugged herself. "I mourned for my baby girl everyday and I promised to never forget her. Sometimes I dreamed of her and what she would look like. What she would like and what her favorite foods would be. What lullaby would she fall asleep to if she were still alive. Would I have her if she even survived?"

"On her birthday every night I would drive around town and just clear my head. I think I was unconsciously expecting to find something or an answer. But on her birthday a few months I got my heart back." Shelby smiled a little. "I almost ran into my baby girl at one in the morning. At the time I couldn't have possibly known it was her but this little girl made me feel something. I felt connected to her. So when I took her to the precinct and found the Berry men I just knew. I put it together and I decided this time I would fight."

"And you won?"Dr. Carey wanted her to continue. They were making great progress and Shelby was just letting go.

"Not before finding my baby girl unconscious and beaten lying in a dog cage in a storage room in their basement." Shelby felt tears drop. "What I saw no mother should have ever seen of their child. My baby was in such pain and there was nothing I could do about it. Those men beat her, and molested her and hurt her. They didn't want her and she was so broken. So I fought and it's been hard taking care of her when she's so scared and vulnerable and she didn't know what love was. She's 3 years old and she's been through more than any of us could think of, could even imagine. What happened a few weeks ago set us back a little in her progress but we're working with her."

"She's the happiest little girl in the world and I want to always be able to put that beautiful smile on her face. My baby girl. I felt that I had failed her sometimes and that it was all my fault that she went through what she did. It hasn't been easy but I have my baby girl with me. I get to hold her and love her like I have always wanted."

Shelby explained. "The Berry's were more wicked than I thought and they are both rotting where they belong. That's all I have to say."

"This was a good session Shelby. You gave me a little insight on your life and I would be happy to see you again." Dr. Carey closed his pad and put his pen away.

"Do you really think I need to?"

"It's whatever you decide Shelby."The man informed her. "But I know there is so much more that you have to say and that you're feeling. So call me and set up an appointment when you want."

Shelby shook the man's hand.

She felt a little lighter and she could say that now.

She led the man out of Mary's office and out of the house.

Shelby was ready to go back upstairs and cuddle with Rachel while the little girl was still asleep.

March 10, 2014

"I'm glad you could come."

Shelby sat at the table across from the man but said nothing. All of the hatred , anger and disgust was flowing through her veins right now but she was calmer than the last time they were sitting in front of each other.

No doubt she still wanted to kill the man in front of her but she controlled her urges.

When Leroy Berry's lawyer called to tell her that the man wanted to meet with her one last time and explain everything before he pled guilty, Shelby was reluctant.

She just wanted move on from all of this.

Her baby girl needed her and she didn't have time to listen to lies or whatever this man had to say.

It had been a small task to even leave Rachel with Santana and Amanda in the playroom on the other side of the precinct. The little girl had put up a small fight, but when Santana offered to play Lego's with her, Rachel had calmed enough and occupied to let Shelby slip out of the room.

As Shelby stood outside of the door to this interrogation room where she would be meeting Leroy and his lawyers, she had to ask herself why was she doing this again?

Truth was she needed answers.

The young mother deserved to know the truth and nothing but the truth.

Now that Hiram was dead, Leroy felt that there is no turning back now and that he should confess to Shelby everything. He had to explain before he went to jail.

Mary had offered to come with her but Shelby declined insisting that she needed to do it herself.

So she agreed to Leroy's meeting and now here she is.

"Where's your lawyer?" Shelby sat across from Leroy

"I could ask the same question..." Leroy began. "He's behind the glass no doubt getting ready to make a statement."

"So why did you call me here?" Shelby doesn't know why she is being so calm with the man.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry..." Leroy tried to figure out what he was going to say next. "That I know no amount of apologizing would wash away and make you forgive what we did. I just wanted to tell you everything. To confess before I plead Guilty to all the charges against me on Friday."

Shelby sat up in her chair.

She motioned as to tell him 'I'm listening'

Leroy took a minute and tried to gather all of his thoughts.

He didn't know where to start.

"When we put up that ad for a surrogate we knew what we were getting to. Hiram didn't want another baby , he already had 2 boys and a grandson on the way, but he did it to make me happy. He thought who would actually want to be a surrogate to a gay couple in Ohio?"

Shelby listened intently.

"But there were a bunch who responded. Out of all of them you were the one who we connected the most with. I think after meeting you, the idea of having a child with your personality and attributes grew on him. So we went over everything and he drew up a contract. We wouldn't give it to you until we knew you were pregnant.

But as time went by and you got bigger he waited.

I knew the baby was mine and he did too. We continued to give you everything you needed. I could see the way you were falling in love with the baby inside of you and when I would mention something about when she was born your face would change. I could see that you were regretting the decision."

Leroy looked up at Shelby a little more.

Shelby could finally see the front of his face and it was not a pretty sight. The man was sporting a black eye along with a few cuts and bruises along his left cheek.

Shelby couldn't help but think it serves him right.

She'd heard that people in jail didn't go for the ones that hurt children. That even though all of them were criminals in way and another they hated people who would hurt children.

Leroy got to feel what Rachel did for most of her life.

Shelby internally smiled at that and she didn't feel the least bit guilty.

"I mentioned it to Hiram and we decided to give you the contract then and there. We both loved the baby too and we didn't want to lose her."Leroy spoke through her thoughts. "I saw how much it crushed you but I knew you were stubborn and I knew you wanted to fight. But who could you tell when no one knew of the surrogate but us 3 and a couple of doctors? We could have all potentially went to jail."

Shelby glanced down at her hands.

He was telling the truth.

"But there was something telling me that if you did fight you would win. No matter if we would get into trouble or not. When you went into labor it was a sort of spur of the moment thought. To fake her death. You see Hiram being a doctor at Lima General meant he had power over everyone.

He was a very powerful man and everyone wanted to be under his wing. Jacqueline was his ex-wife and she was all for it." Leroy began to tell them of their plan to kidnap Rachel. " So we faked Rachel's death. It was airtight and all the doctors knew that you were our surrogate so that explains how you would never be able to see her body. She was ours and we told Jackie to explain to you that we wanted to mourn alone.

When the baby stopped breathing Hiram put her on a machine and that gave us enough time to be able to sneak her out of the hospital. She had asthma and he knew that she would be okay. So while you mourned we were on our way to our cabin up in Michigan."

Shelby listened and tried to take in what he was saying.

"It was pretty easy. You'd be surprised what people would do and hide for certain amounts of money. We'd sold my resteraunt and that gave us money for a while." Leroy made sure he made eye contact while he was talking to Shelby. "I felt guilty and I knew that what we had done we couldn't come back from. So we took the baby and when we arrived in Michigan we stayed hidden for a few months. When she was 2 weeks old I named her. I remembered that you were a big fan of friends so I named her Rachel. It was perfect."

Shelby could see in Leroy's eyes that he loved Rachel but there was still something there that he couldn't explain.

"I took care of her, and I loved her. Hiram wasn't very fond of her but he helped with her too. Rachel wasn't a very easy baby. She would cry a lot and she needed a lot of attention.

Sometimes she would cry for no reason and I wouldn't know what to do. I think even though you two had never met and she was still a few months old she was missing that connection with you. This angered Hiram when I mentioned it and he would always remind me that it was I who wanted her." Leroy informed her. "Rachel cried almost all the time. I guess she could sense that something was missing."

Shelby knew it too.

There were nights when she would wake up and swear she could her a baby crying in the next room. But every time she went to check her heart would be broken. She stayed silent though, she was going to let him continue.

"There was one morning where Hiram stayed late in a bar the night before and he had a hangover. I'd set Rachel in her playpen for a second to make her bottle, she was 6 months old at the time. She wouldn't stop crying and all of a sudden Hiram stormed into the room and ripped her out of the playpen." Leroy looked guilty as the next few words came out of his mouth. "The next thing I knew he was holding her by her arm and her diaper was down. He gave her a few hard swats on the behind. At first she went silent and then she went hysterical. I knew she was scared and surprised. She was only 6 months old and it was natural for babies to cry. I didn't understand how he could do such a thing. I immediately took her and she howled even more."

Shelby's expression remained stoic.

Across from her a few tears slipped out of Leroy's eyes.

She didn't know if he was putting on an act just for her or if he was truly hurting for their baby at the time.

"Her bottom was so red and he'd hit her harder than I thought." Leroy recalled the events of that morning. " I yelled at him and his response was that since she was crying he would give her something to cry about. That's when I knew that he really didn't want Rachel. After that he walked out and he didn't come back for a few hours. I didn't understand how he could hurt something so small and beautiful and wasn't the last time that he'd hit her she was almost one when she'd gotten her first full spanking from him. I can't really remember what happened but Hiram was so angry. Back then there was nothing I could do to stop him. Rachel was his child too no matter how badly he treated her. There were so many time's when I thought about just driving back to Ohio and giving her back. "

Shelby had to think about where she was when Rachel was just turning one...it was opening night when she had the cramps. " So why didn't you? Didn't you understand that her mother out there wanted her? Didn't you realize what Hiram was doing was wrong? Why didn't you turn him in?"

This was the first time she has spoken since Leroy has started his 'confession'.

"I don't know." Leroy replied. " She was mine and she was his. I couldn't turn him in because I loved him too much and I was afraid of being alone."

"So you let him hurt her? because you loved him and you were afraid to be alone you let him beat your daughter who wasn't even a year old yet? Who didn't even know what she was doing wrong?"Shelby asked with disgust dripping from her voice.

"I know how wrong it sounds now but back then that was my way of thinking. He was a doctor so it was pretty easy for him to fix her up when he'd broken her arm the first time." Leroy looked down at his own hands.

While in jail between being in his cell or being beaten, he was thinking about the events that led him to this point.

"We moved back to Lima a few months after her birthday, we figured we'd hid long enough. When we moved into our house it was like Hiram was a whole new person with Rachel. I mean he still beat her and everything but it was like he was more fraternal to her." Leroy explained. "Some nights he would even let her sleep in her room. Soon after that I figured out why... Hiram stopped wanting to be intimate with me and I'd figured that he was cheating."

Shelby knew what was coming next and she had to take a deep breath. Was she really ready to hear about all of this from the man who'd let it happen?

"When Hiram was gone it would give me a chance to feed her, and bathe her and cuddle her sometimes. I spanked her too but it wasn't in the way that Hiram did." Leroy continued. "One night he was gone, at another bar I would guess, I was bathing her."

Shelby had to close her eyes.

She didn't think she could hold in her tears.

"I noticed that she curled away from me and wouldn't let me wash between her legs any more. Rachel didn't talk as much back then even though I knew she could. She begged for me to stop and I really didn't understand what was wrong. But as she backed away from me, well as much as she could inside of the bathtub, I noticed there were bruises on the inside of her thighs. I immediately burst into tears. I finally knew why Hiram was being more tolerant of her." Leroy and Shelby were both wiping away tears now.

"She pleaded for me not to touch her and I didn't know what to do. I was stuck. Through all of this Rachel was my daughter and he'd hurt her in a way that I wouldn't have imagined in a million years."

Shelby had to hold back a sob as she listened to his story.

"I felt helpless." Leroy let out a shaky breath. "I confronted him that night and his excuse was that he wasn't going inside so what was the big deal? I left him that night. I took Rachel and I left. But he found us and he beat me. He reminded me that I was his and if he went down I would too,so I came back. He went into her bedroom almost every night and I grew to resent her too. Why did he want her when I was his husband. Nothing got better and the night you found her I could hear her practically screaming in the bedroom. It was just too much , what he was about to do I couldn't..."

Leroy was unable to finish as he sobbed for the daughter that he had failed. His own flesh and blood.

Shelby wiped the tears from her eyes and looked over to the man. She didn't feel any sympathy now because he'd let it happen. He wasn't as innocent as she'd thought and now that she knew the truth she wanted him to rot too.

What he just confessed didn't excuse him from anything.

She slowly stood up and looked down at him.

Leroy looked up at her with sad and tired eyes.

She shook her head and backed out of the room.

She had to go and get her baby.

She needed to hold her daughter.

March 14, 2014

"C'mon Rachel nap time." Shelby gently coaxed her daughter to climb into bed. The young mother could tell that her daughter was exhausted after their meeting with Dr. Brown.

The last few sessions with the doctor were tough and tense.

The last few weeks for them period have been the same.

But today in the session Dr. Brown had explained that some of Rachel's explanations of what happened that night with Harmon and Hiram didn't add.

That sometimes kids would get confused and mix up what really happens.

Shelby knew but there was no way that Rachel could understand that.

Amanda Lopez had described to her the story of what happened. That Rachel had never fully come in contact with Hiram that night. Harmon was drunk and stupid but he didn't let Rachel come in contact Hiram at any time. That is what led up to the man's death.

Turns out when Hiram drove to the warehouse he'd left Rachel in the car and met with Hiram outside. Somewhere between kidnapping the little girl and getting to the warehouse he's sobered up and called Amanda.

When he got there he told Rachel to stay down and not move. The little girl was still afraid and in shock so she Hiram's voice outside of the car sent the little girl into even more shock.

Amanda described what she saw when she and her back up pulled up to the scene. Hiram had run back into the warehouse and pulled out a gun. Causing him to be shot more than once. .

Harmon fled to god knows where.

When the police checked Harmon's car they'd found Rachel. To which Amanda immediately checked over her and took her home to Shelby.

Much of this didn't make sense but here they were now.

Rachel's mind created something even more horrible and in her therapy session the little girl described the story to her mother. It was what happened in her head.

It was confusing for all of them but now they couldn't dwell on it.

So as Shelby felt Rachel snuggle into her she relaxed herself. This was all so much to digest.

'These last few months were a lot to handle but they were coping.

Hiram was dead, Harmon is in jail along with everyone else involved with this whole disaster.

Shelby couldn't help but feel that her life had become some sort of bad mix between a soap opera and lifetime movie.

But for now she was just happy that it is now over and the she and Rachel could live in peace.

A/n: So this chapter was just a filler.

If you are confused about anything please feel free to pm me or ask in the reviews. I also promise more little Rachie next chapter.

Until Next Chapter

-LSAM