A/N: I came up with this idea, whilst trying to figure out what to write for the sequel, and I thought I would post it. This is the Alternative Ending to From Past to Present. This is another way it could have ended. I'd written this about three times, three different ways, and the ending I chose I was really happy with, but I thought you might like to read this one, as an Alternative to Chapter Twenty-Eight. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Alternative Ending
They had all planned on going to Vermont for Christmas and New Years. There had been talks about Kurt not being well enough, and how making the trip could be a complete disaster, but both Kurt and Blaine had insisted that it was a well needed and well deserved break. They decided they would rent out a small holiday house, big enough to fit them all, and spend three weeks there, just welcoming in the New Year together, or simply having time to spend with one another. There hadn't been any discussion on the Warblers joining them, but when Nick and Jeff announced that they were currently in the process of adoption, enough was said for their Christmas wishes, and they all left, with smiles on their faces, at the new that their friends would be adding to their already large family. Kurt had been ecstatic when Nick had told him, almost choking the man to death with a hug. It had been touch and go for two weeks... Blaine had been there through it all, and even though it killed him to see Kurt forget something, or simply lounge on the couch with a headache, he knew he had to remain strong... especially now, on the drive to Vermont... Aliyah and Renee were excited to be going somewhere different this year, and even though his husband was asleep beside him, he knew that Kurt was looking forward to it as well. There hadn't been much talk about what would happen after Kurt went, they hadn't wanted to bring down their Christmas cheer and New Years with all the talk about sad things... needless to say, Blaine was sure that Kurt had forgotten something again that morning, because his medication was still sitting on the bench in the kitchen, whilst Kurt was staring aimlessly at the cupboards, wondering where the glasses were. The smaller things, they could handle, but forgetting people's names, or large chunks of their history... that's a different story...
Santana, Finn and Wes were leading the pack. They had taken four cars, managing to fit everyone in, including children, which was amazing, because Wes and David's car could fit eight, comfortably, and Santana and Brittany had their girls with them, so all in all, there were probably more people than they expected... it was lucky the place they had hired was large enough to fit them all comfortably, and all the children would be sharing a room, not that it was a hassle, that's usually how it would go anyway... Blaine had the radio on, letting the music drift through the silent car. He hates when it's this quiet... he likes to hear his girls attempting to sing, or Kurt complaining about the roads, or having sarcastic conversations with the cars in front of them, whilst Blaine just rolls his eyes, shakes his head and smiles... but there's none of that... Kurt is curled up in the passenger seat, and the girls are silent in the back seat, focussed on what's going past them out the window. So, Blaine takes comfort in his music... he takes comfort in the fact that it's what holds him together, and no matter what song it is, there's always going to be a song that fits his mood... like right now, on the radio... strangely... plays Teenage Dream... and Blaine can't help but laugh to himself, thinking back to the time when serenading Kurt in the Warblers would be enough to get him through the day and how if he had of realised his feelings earlier... 'You can't think like that Blaine... it's not anyone's fault...' Blaine mentally told himself... but deep down, he knew it wouldn't be enough to calm the nagging feeling that had he done something differently, it would have changed everything...
They all arrived at the house at the same time, getting out of the car to Santana's loud exclamation of 'Wes owns this shit...' before people were chuckling, and grabbing their bags and children out of their respective cars. Kurt had woken up an hour ago, but stayed close to Blaine, just watching his friends, weak smile on his face as they made their way into the house, owned by Wes' parents, that had been passed onto the former head Warbler after they moved to Canada two years ago. Wes had been thrilled he'd been given a chance to use it, but the others couldn't believe that one of their friends had been holding out on them all this time... Nick was right when he'd told Kurt that Wes was 'super rich times ten to one billion' he should have listened to his friend back in highschool, of course, but he hadn't, and now he was gazing up at the house, a small smile on his face, and Aliyah and Renee grabbed his right hand, and Blaine held his left... they all made their way into the house together, splitting up to find rooms, and arguing over who should get what room. In the end, Kurt and Blaine ended up with the master bedroom, and the other's picked from the smaller, but still rather large, rooms, simultaneously spread around the second story of the house.
'Is this a house, or a fucking mansion? When Nick told me Wes was well off, I thought he was exaggerating...' Kurt said, moving to sit on the end of the bed
'No, his parents purchased it just after graduation. Wes has always owned it, just never had a chance to use it until now. What about you? How are you feeling?' Blaine asked, kissing Kurt's temple
'I think I'm going to lie down for a few minutes. Please wake me up before dinner,' Kurt said, kissing Blaine's lips once, before moving to snuggle under the duvet
'I promise baby. You rest, I'm going to go and tame the lion,' Blaine replied, referring to Wes' incessant yelling which could be heard from the Himalaya's if one tried hard enough...
Blaine left the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind him, only to bump into Quinn, who was leaning against the second story railing, looking down at all of their friends, racing around the first floor, opening every door and just making the house Christmassy with their presents under the already decorated tree and whatnot. The blonde woman nudged Blaine's shoulder lightly, before turning to pull him into a hug, whispering in his ear that everything was going to turn out okay, and that somehow, they would all end up better off than they could imagine... she'd never had friends or family like this before... Kurt was the one who helped her through everything when it got bad... helped her through the confusing feelings she had when she first got back together with Finn, and then with the pregnancy scare and then, of course, the proposal... Quinn had been so grateful for Kurt and Blaine... even when they were going through their hard times, Kurt still managed to be there for her, and she would never forget that... she would never forget everything the chestnut haired countertenor had done for her... she told all this to Blaine, who didn't say anything, just clutching onto her tighter, like letting her go would be too painful. Quinn understood though, sometimes, when she hugged Kurt, she never wanted to let him go... like it would be painful to experience that... she'd prepared herself though... made herself ready... Suddenly, there was a crashing from downstairs, and then cries from children. Blaine knew Aliyah's cry when he heard it, and was sprinting down the stairs before Quinn could contemplate anything else. Santana was comforting hers and Britt's four year old, Rebecca, whilst Aliyah was helping Renee, Jameson, Talia, Bianca, and Grayton clean up the mess of toys that had obviously been knocked over accidently, but scared Rebecca and Aliyah's tears were sympathetic, like her father's, Aliyah was a sympathetic crier...
Once the children were all sorted out, and happy (Blaine had put on a movie in the playroom, which had kept them happy... well the older ones, the younger ones were sleeping), the adults retreated to the large living area, where Brittany had placed snacks and drinks for them all, and started talking about what they would be doing for Christmas Eve tomorrow, and then Christmas Day... Kurt would miss not being able to cook for everyone... he's not strong enough to stand up for that long anymore... he barely made it up the stairs when they got here, and Blaine doesn't know how much more his already weak husband can take. Brittany, as always, lightens the mood, with one of her ridiculous made up songs about something random, which makes them all laugh, and try to one-up each other... Blaine always seems to win, just by singing something profound like... 'You are the only person I would turn to if the sky was no longer blue'. Mercedes had all of Blaine's albums, and stated that on all the songs he'd written for Kurt (and of the four albums, with over fourty songs combined, at least twenty of them were dedicated to Kurt) she'd shed tears at the amount of love she could hear in his voice when he sang. It had been a while... his album was blowing up, and he was meant to be on tour, but he'd postponed, explaining to everyone about Kurt, and how he wouldn't be able to do anything until he's better... of course, he didn't go into details, but lying to his fans about his husband's health helped him a little... pretending in a world where so many things aren't real anymore seems like the right way to go about something this heart-breaking...
They'd started out just talking, and laughing about old times, and stupid things that Finn has done in the past, and eventually, Puck broke into the liquor stash, and the drinking games started... Brittany had turned music on, and surprisingly, it was one of Blaine's albums, which Wes had deliberately turned on... the tenor laughed, and returned to drinking the beer Finn had handed him moments ago. Mercedes had started a game of truth or dare, which was quickly turning into something alot more crude, especially as the group consumed more and more alcohol. By nine pm, they were pretty much drunk and the only sober one would have been Kurt, had he not been asleep upstairs... Blaine was dared to kiss Sam, on the lips, for ten seconds, but the tenor had refused, drunk, but not enough to forget the 'Rachel Kiss' of 2010... Finn dared his brother-in-law to sneak upstairs and scare Kurt, then bring him down to join the game, because it's no fun without him, to which Blaine had happily stood up, steadying himself, before moving to the stairs, shouting at the top of his lungs that he needed Kurt to wake up and play... it was hilarious, and lucky for Blaine that no one was recording anything... yet... the night is young, and when you're friends with New Directions and Warblers, you have to learn the cardinal rule of partying... someone is always watching... Kurt was dazed awake by the sound of his husbands shouting, getting closer to their room, before the door was literally slammed open, and he felt the bed move as Blaine bounced around, poking his cheek like a five-year old.
'Get off Blaine... go back and play your game,' Kurt said, snuggling back under the covers
'The game said I had to come and get you... let's go Kurtie... everyone's waiting, and if I don't win, I have to kiss S-Sam and that's kind of icky,' Blaine said, and Kurt chuckled, sitting up slowly, before getting out of bed, only to have Blaine link their arms and pull them out of the room, screaming that he didn't have to kiss anyone... except Kurt...
'I thought he'd have his head ripped off... sleepy Kurt... hey brother,' Finn said, patting his brother's shoulder, as Kurt curled up to Blaine on the couch, reaching for the bottle of water on the table
'Kurtie, truth or dare,' Brittany asked, excitedly
'Truth...'
'Do you ever wish you weren't sick?' Brittany asked, and the room went silent, all eyes on Kurt, as he felt Blaine snuggle closer
'All the time,' he replied, kissing Blaine's temple as the room returned to its previous state five minutes ago...
Soon enough, truth or dare moved to 'I Never', and Kurt was amused at just how much they all knew about one another. Blaine, of course, kept getting caught by Wes and David, but Kurt was skilful, and everytime they got his husband, he would get them back, and the room would burst out laughing at whatever Kurt came up with that they had never done... or had done... by eleven thirty, Blaine was so drunk, he was slurring all of his words, and trying to make out with Kurt, who had become immune to the charms over the years, simply kissing Blaine once to satisfy his needs, and Blaine would return to slurring, and laughing loudly, or just being a kid. It was shocking, because they were two of the only six left up, Quinn, Finn, Rachel, Puck, Kurt and Blaine were the only ones left up, the others resigned to bed earlier, and by the sounds of Blaine's drunkenness, they weren't far away either. Rachel had been poking Puck the whole night, but the mow hawked man had, surprisingly, sobered up enough to carry his wife to bed, Quinn and Finn following them moments later for their own bed. They'd only been here one day, and they'd already managed to get drunk, throw a ND party, make out with each other, and fall asleep before midnight... it was just like highschool, only Blaine was the one plastered, and Kurt was going to be nursing his husband's hangover in the morning, provided he's strong enough to get Blaine up the stairs to their room. He needn't have worried though, the moment Kurt had stood up, Blaine was grabbing his hand, and leading the way, talking softly (or in a loud whisper), about their sex life and how great it is, and they should totally explore that tonight... Kurt had to laugh when they reached their room, and five minutes after Blaine climbed into bed, he was asleep. Kurt had to laugh... it was their thing, and Blaine always looked adorable when he was sleeping... Kurt climbed in beside his husband, kissing his cheek, before snuggling down to sleep...
The next morning, Kurt woke to the sound of Blaine in the ensuite, throwing up whatever he'd drunk last night. Aliyah and the kids had been taken care of, Quinn and Santana sending texts to everyone, explaining that they would look after the children until parents were back on common ground with earth... Kurt was smirking, leaning against the door frame when Blaine exited their bathroom, groaning, and clutching his head in pain. 'Not fair... it's totally not fair' Blaine thought, moving back to the bed in the centre of the room, waiting for Kurt to join him, but his husband was staring aimlessly out the window, no emotion on his porcelain face to tell Blaine what he was thinking... he's probably still a little drunk... okay a lot drunk from the dizzy spells he's having... and suddenly he realised, that him being drunk, kind of puts him in Kurt's shoes... he knows how it feels now, to be dizzy all the time, or forget things... (he couldn't for the life of him, remember anything after 'Let's play truth, dare' from Brittany) he'd just hoped he hadn't kissed anyone besides Kurt... there was a knock on the door, and then Finn was shuffling into the room, obviously not as hung over as Blaine, but still under the weather. He noticed his brother, and moved over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, but not expecting Kurt to flinch out of his grip, and move back from him, sinking down into a chair, head in his hands. Finn looked lost, unsure what to do, and Blaine was trying to battle the headache that threatened to tear through is frontal lobe... Christmas Eve isn't meant to be spent hung over... it's meant to be spent... well relatively sober... 'With Puckerman in the house...? Seriously Blaine...?' he thought, sitting up, but regretting it, when his stomach disagreed with him, only to see Finn and Kurt talking quietly in the corner of the room.
By lunch time, everyone was relatively back to normal, some still battling headaches, but they were dulled enough to take part in the Christmas Eve festivities... which included lunch, cooked by Quinn, Mercedes and Artie, and then desert, which Kurt had pre-cooked, much to Blaine's delight... he loves his husband's cooking. They gathered around the large table, sharing stories about past Christmases, and presents they've received, before Rachel gave a very good rendition of the 'Night Before Christmas' and the whole table groaned in unison when she started singing. It was a happy groan though, and Rachel just laughed with them, as the conversation returned, and people were happy and smiling and laughing. Kurt wasn't though... he was too busy trying to hide just how weak he was getting, and how little he was eating. Quinn was whispering softly to Kurt, who was pushing food around on his plate, looking at it like it was the cancer that was killing him, before cutting a small piece, and shoving it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing unceremoniously, before leaning his head on Quinn's shoulder, and whispering 'thank you' in her ear. She smiled, and turned to help Finn with their son...
Night fell soon after, and Christmas movies were put on, with Brittany and Santana playfully arguing over whether or not watching Santa Claus or the Grinch would be better suited. Blaine was all for having his opinion, but Kurt shifting beside him, pulled him back into reality... he could see the dark circles around Kurt's eyes, the colour of his skin, paler than before... his movement, restricted, and before he'd had a chance to process it, it hit him... like a tonne of bricks that Kurt didn't have long... he didn't have enough time to do all the things he'd put on his bucket list back in their Senior Year, or enough time to convince Blaine that there are more important things in life, than being best-friends with your awol brother, or your un-accepting parents... he wouldn't have time to see Aliyah and Renee grow up, graduate, marry, have kids... he'd never get any of that... and it made Blaine feel guilty... guilty because he was going to see all of that, but his husband was slowly fading away before him, and he couldn't take it... he was up and out of the room before anyone could say anything, Kurt moving to go after him... surprisingly, he found Blaine in the small gym at the back of the house. His husband always managed to get them to work out together in their gym back home, but Kurt tried to avoid it as much as possible... well, until now...
'You know, you should be wearing gloves if you're going to pretend that everyone you hate's faces are on that thing. You'll break your hands otherwise,' Kurt said, moving over to the chair in the corner of the room
'How can you be so calm about this? You're dying Kurt... you have fourteen days at best, and you're sitting there pretending that nothing is wrong? That you're not dying? That you're leaving me here without you? How am I meant to deal with that Kurt? How do you suppose I live without you here to help me? Tell me Kurt, because I'm lost...'
'You once told me to have courage Blaine... you went through an ordeal, and you still came to Junior and senior prom with me... you helped me with Karofsky, and Dalton... you saved my life Blaine... you saved my life, and I would never take that away from you. I love you, and I'll always love you, but Rachel's right... you may not want to believe it, and you may not be strong enough to accept it, but I'm dying Blaine... I love you, and you saved me, and I'm not saying goodbye, and I'm dying... but I can't stand to see you doing this to yourself... Life is only as hard as you make it Blaine...' Kurt replied, handing him the photo album, before kissing him softly on the lips, and turning away
'You said I saved you... maybe that's true, but you saved me too Kurt... You found me when I needed it the most, and I know that's clichéd, but that's who we are... that's who I am... I love you... and I'll love you forever... and always... Somewhere Only We Know...' Blaine replied, moving to kiss his husband passionately
'There is a moment, when you say to yourself, oh, there you are, I've been waiting for you forever... that day on the steps of Dalton... that was the moment for me... about you... Blaine, you move me, and I've never loved someone more in my life, than I love you right now...' Kurt said, pulling away from the kiss breathless to Blaine's chuckle and small smile at the reciprocation of the moment he knew Kurt was the one...
Christmas floated into New Years without too much drama on their behalf. Santana had organised a party, and some of their friends who couldn't come stay with them, would make the trip down to reign in the New Year with them... to bring in 2023... Rachel had been so wrapped up in what she was doing, she didn't see the countertenor move past them all, out onto the small balcony on the second floor, overlooking the vast city from where the house was. Blaine had spent the day with Finn, the girls, and Puck, building snow forts, and taking the children around the area, throwing snow balls, and talking about the New Year and their plans... none of them had prepared for the events... but on New Year's Day, everything would change... of course, hearing it and living it are two different things, and if they could take back the year, they would... 2023 was welcomed in, with a typical ND, Warbler extravaganza, and Kurt had escaped to the outside front porch to watch his friends and family light sparkers down by the small pond, and pop party-poppers and blow whistles, all whilst wearing stupid hats, and crowing that this year would be the best they've ever had, because they'd all be together... maybe that's what did it... seeing them all happy with each other, laughing and dancing, and just... living... either that, or the way Blaine smiled at him, slowly making their way back towards the house. Kurt was standing at the door, smiling, the afternoon breeze caressing his face as his friends and family made their peace with last year, and welcomed in the New Year...
Blaine was halfway to the house when it happened. one minute, his husband was just standing there, waiting for them, the next, he'd collapsed to the ground, and no one could see him anymore... Blaine sprinted, faster than he'd ever done before, to where Kurt was, moving so he could hols him in his arms, placing soft kisses over Kurt's face. The others eventually caught up to him, all of them stopping just before the steps, realising what was going on... Puck fell to his knees, Rachel and Quinn clutched onto each other like their lives depended on it, whilst everyone else was crying, trying to find something, or someone to hold onto... this wasn't how they planned to start the year... Kurt was supposed to have more time... there has to be more time... Blaine was sobbing, rocking back and forth, Kurt lying limp in his arms... the afternoon sun shining above them, taunting them with happiness they didn't want to feel at the moment... Blaine wouldn't let go... Quinn knew this, but they had to... they'd called the paramedics, and the hospital and everyone else they could think of, but Blaine hadn't moved from that position, and he wouldn't anytime soon... when Kurt was 'taken' away, the tenor wrapped his arms around himself, and sobbed, not caring that everyone was watching, and that his children would need him more than ever now... Aliyah was hugging her sister, moving towards her father slowly, snuggling up to him ever so carefully, before Blaine responded and wrapped his arms around them. Finn broke down when he saw that... he'd managed to stay strong the whole time before Kurt was taken, but seeing his brother-in-law and nieces so... broken... it got to him, and he was clutching at the railing, Quinn by his side immediately... the effects sunk in... they had to... Santana was comforting Brittany as best she could... no one knew what to say... so they didn't say anything... being together was enough for now... except they weren't all together... Kurt's gone... and this time, he's never coming back...
Have you ever wondered what life has in store for you? Do you ever think that maybe, life hasn't turned out the way you wanted, and it's just looking for an excuse to kick you flat on your arse? The wake is different... it's being held at the Hummel-Anderson house... there are people singing sad songs, paying their respects to Kurt... Blaine managed to escape from the hordes of people wanting to comfort him... he doesn't want comfort... just Kurt... he knows it's there... he knows because Quinn told him... he reluctantly opened the draw on the nightstand, reaching for the white envelope with his name written on the front in Kurt's neat cursive writing. He misses that writing already, and he hasn't even opened the envelope yet. He'd locked the door, he didn't need people watching him cry... taking a deep breath, Blaine opened the envelope, and pulled out the paper... he reads his name, and he can almost hear Kurt reading this to him... he holds onto that... letting Kurt's voice wash over him...
My dearest Blaine,
Out of everyone I've written letters to, this one, was by far the hardest... I promised you, years ago, that I'd never say goodbye, and I stick by that. This isn't goodbye Blaine, it's more like a see you later... not that later has to be now. You need later to be when you're ninety, and have grey hair, and can't stand on your own without a walking stick. Now isn't your time Blaine.
Finn has been talking to me about what I'm going to say to you, but I kept coming up blank, not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you, or how you saved me all those years ago, and still do, to this day. Sometimes, when it's just you and the girls, I sit there, watching you, and smile, and even though I've got a migraine that kills, knowing that you are going to be alright helps to dull it a little. It's still there, but not as bad, especially when I see you smile, because when you smile Blaine, the whole world stops for a while, (and yes, I did just quote Bruno Mars), and I can feel my heart thumping in my chest, knowing that I'm one of those people you flash that smile at. I haven't seen it in a while, not since the night after the Reunion at Dalton, and we re-created the first moment we met... On the Dalton staircase, during an impromptu performance from the Warblers, where you then went on to serenade me with 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry. I was enamoured by you at that moment Blaine, you were just... this really cute, first openly gay guy I had met, and I was enamoured by you...
Even though people tell me that I fell in love with you that day, it's not the truth. Yes, I had a crush, but the moment I knew I was in love with you, was during our duet of 'Baby It's Cold Outside' in front of the fire place in the Warbler's common room. By the way, I know that you lied to me about the Kings Island Christmas Spectacular, because it finished in 2007... You were flirting with me... you cheeky little thing... of course, you were oblivious to my feelings for you at that point, until I told you outright on Valentine's Day, and it blew up in my face... everything after that... the party, Rachel, the "let's-work-on-you-sexy-faces-talk", it was almost like my life was falling apart. But, then came Regional's, and with Regional's, the death of Pavarotti, and a revelation from the oblivious boy... "Watching you do Blackbird this week... you moved me Kurt... and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you..." I tell you, you never looked more nervous to be around me than in that moment, but the minute your lips touched mine, I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything that had happened in the past, because you were, are, and will always be, my future. If only Wes and David hadn't of walked in on us... well, I guess we'll never know what could have happened...
This brings me to our first time... I know you spoke to Wes and David about this, and I know, for some stupid reason, you spoke to Puck, who then told Sam, who told Mike, who told Tina, who told Mercedes, who accidently let it slip to Rachel, who told the entire Glee Club, and before you knew it, we were getting bombarded by the New Directions, and everyone knew what was going to happen. I remember that fight too. It's not one of the happy memories that I have, but without the bad memories, there are no good memories... It was after we'd been to the opening night production of West Side Story at McKinley that we'd gone back to your place, knowing we wouldn't get any privacy at Dalton, or at my house, because of Finn and Rachel. We were so caught up with everyone else's expectations, that we didn't listen to our own hearts, and ended up in that fight about how we never listen to one another, throwing around some choice words, and ending up spending the night separately. Of course, we made up in the morning, you coming into the guest room I was staying in, and curling up to me, prompted the best first time ever... I don't have any regrets about that night at all Blaine... well, the fight maybe, but not the sex. That was the best make-up sex I think in the history of the New Directions and the Warblers.
Wes and David, after that, kept making innuendo's, and awing whenever we were near them, calling us "Klaine" and talking about "Klaine Time". I'll admit, it caught on, even Mercedes says it now... not that it bothers either of us, it's just another way we're always together... when I got back to Lima after that, Finn didn't look me in the eye, and kept saying something about warning you about hurting me, or whatever. I didn't really listen to him, I was still in my "oh-my-fucking-god-I-just-had-sex-with-my-hot-boyfriend-eep faze". Mind you this lasted all weekend, and things were even better back at Dalton. However, as they always say, (and I think Nelly Furtado wrote a song about it) all good things come to an end, and our penultimate happiness was one of them...
Of course, we'd won Regional's, and now every Warbler rehearsal was dedicated to Wes' incessant rambling about picking a "National's Winning Song". I almost wanted to throw his own gavel at him. That's when he decided to grace Dalton with his sleazy and unwanted (mostly by us), presence. I don't know why I'm writing about this particular part of our relationship, maybe because it was just another one of the times you proved to me just how much you love me, and that no matter what, we'd never be apart, because we could get through anything... Sebastian Smythe was one of those anything's... I didn't know, until much later, that Sebastian was actually Wes' cousin, and that he would end up dating David Karofsky. It's amazing, and I think that's what shocked me the most when we got that letter to their wedding. That was fun and a half...
Anyway, back to us... so we prepared all the stuff for National's, in New York, and we were all set to go. Jeff and Nick were in the middle of the "Niff War"... the worst two months of all our lives... and were bickering about something, but sung their hearts out, placing us first at National's, and giving Wesley the push he needed to stop being so bossy, and pushy, which also led to him finding out that his sleazy cousin was trying to steal you away from me, banning him from the Warblers and getting him kicked out of Dalton. I think after that, everything sort of went back to normal... well, as normal as Senior year could have been anyway. The sharing of 'I love you' when we were sitting in the Lima Bean made the year, and if I remember rightly, the year we won National's, 2011, was also the year we decided our futures together... here, in New York, and the lives we worked for so long to build... everything we have now Blaine, we deserve...
The first two years of college were hard. Adjusting to living together, and studying, as well as maintaining our relationship and sex life, got to us alot. In junior year of college, we had it all figured out. That was the year you proposed... and I said yes... just FYI, in case you're sobbing when you're reading this, and you can't remember my answer... which you should, because we've been married eight years Blaine... anyway, that was the moment... of course, planning a wedding as big as ours was going to be hard, and as much as you tried to help, the little arguments and fights, only made our sex life better, which wasn't helpful, considering we never decided anything, we'd just fight, have sex, make up, and then start all over again. When Quinn told us that she and Finn were back together, I was relieved that I'd have someone to help me make choices. Not that Mercedes and Rachel didn't help, it was just that... I always thought that Quinn and I have a lot in common, and I guess her being my sister-in-law kind of added to that.
The following year, after graduating from college, we got married. It was wonderful, best day of my life. Everything was perfect, until your father decided to be a jackass and ruin it, but other than that, everything was perfect, because I married you, and because you were the one up there with me. Blaine, there are so many ways that I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me, and I guess marrying you, and having you marry me, was one of them. Our honeymoon to Hawaii, (when I found out, I wanted to literally jump you right there and then in the airport, but refrained myself), was, I literally have not words to describe how amazing it was. I know we promised each other we'd go back, and maybe one day we will, but the memories we have are enough for now, and that's what counts. But, not everything ends the way it does in David's movies... there is always something that goes wrong...
Our first year of marriage was a struggle. We were both just out of college, married and trying to start our careers, whilst balancing raising Aliyah. She was born one month into the New Year, and I think it was having her that made our marriage stronger. Not only did we have to look after each other, but now we had to look after our daughter. You are a great father Blaine, don't you ever forget that... Of course, three months after Aliyah was born, I was attacked by Simon Turnstone in Milan, whilst in Italy for fashion week. That was probably one of the harder times... I remember you saying to me one night, when I'd freaked out when you tried to have sex with me, you said "Babe, there is no shame in anything. You were forced, he was wrong, you said no. I'm not going to push you, I love you, and I always will. I'll wait, however long you need me to Kurt," That's one of the moments I look back on, as you saving my life. After that, I went to a therapist, and she helped me deal with what had happened. She explained that it wasn't my fault, and that I shouldn't feel that way at all, and then, she reminded me of what I did have.. You and Aliyah, and a company that was about to break into the markets. Two months later, we started having sex again, and even though I freaked the first few times, we'd always talk, and work it out, and it would be okay again, because I'd wake up in your arms and smile, knowing I was safe...
The following year, we'd just moved into our house, and Finn and Quinn had come to stay with us when tragedy struck our family once more, only this time, it wasn't us... it was Carole and dad... mine and Finn's little sister Haley was killed in a hit and run in Lima. It took a long time for everyone to be alright about that, in fact, it think I'm still trying to deal with it... but you were there to hold me when I cried, and when I thought that nothing was ever going to go right, you wrote that song "Somewhere On a Staircase", and I knew that, someday, everything would be okay. I know what you're thinking Blaine that we've had more tragedies in our lives than good moments, but you're wrong. There was your first album, my first line, Aliyah's first words, steps... Mike and Tina's wedding, Finn and Quinn's first born, Rachel's skyrocket to fame, David's first blockbuster movie, Mercedes' first album and breakout movie, Sam's first solo, the day your mother showed up at our house to apologise for everything, Wes and David getting married... Renee's birth... our anniversaries... everything Blaine... everything we have has been balanced between good and bad. If we don't have the bad moments, we can't have the good ones...
I'm sitting at the kitchen table, watching you with Aliyah and Renee, it's raining, which is unfortunate, because my hair is all over the place, whilst I'm writing this, and I keep looking around me to make sure you're not standing over my shoulder. We've had enough arguments to last us a lifetime about this illness, and I'm not fighting it anymore Blaine. I pinpointed the moment where I accepted that I am going to die, and I know it pains you to read this, but babe, you need to...
Blaine had to stop reading for a moment, wiping the tears from his eyes, and making sure they didn't mix with the tear stains already present on the page. 'Kurt cried when he wrote this... that's why he was so upset all day...' Blaine thought to himself, turning back to the letter...
I think the moment I accepted that I was going to die, was when we had everyone here for my birthday, and I sat at the end of the table, just watching everything that was happening, and feeling so at peace, that I let go of all the pain, and in that moment, I'd found my happy place... I found that place that people talk about... the one that makes you so happy, your whole body tingles... there, in that room, with my family, that's where I was the most at peace. Mercedes will kill me for telling you this, but she'd already started to plan the funeral that day. I told her what I was feeling, and she'd cried onto my shoulder, before telling me that if I wanted everything perfect, we'd have to start talking about it... I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner Blaine, but I know how you get when we talk about me being sick... I love you so much and it kills me to see you like this... literally... (Sorry babe, you know I'm bad at jokes... even though that wasn't really funny...)
I love you so much. So much that I'm running out of things to say to prove it to you. I stick by everything Blaine... our vows, what I told you that day on the steps of Dalton about never saying goodbye, and how I promised you that I wouldn't do anything stupid, because you saved me... and I saved you too. People say that highschool romances don't last, but look at ours... ask any one of our friends, and I guarantee you they'll all say that it's bullshit. Don't ever doubt what we have Blaine, its forever... I want you to promise me one thing though... when I'm gone, I want you to keep living Blaine... you need to keep living, because the girls need you, and Finn will need you, and so will my parents... you need to live Blaine, find someone to love, and who'll love you. It may not be the same love as ours, but someone to care for you and the girls... you need to be happy Blaine (just not with Sebastian or Jeremiah, or even Rachel). I love you babe, Always and Forever... Somewhere Only We Know... "Love isn't something that just comes and goes, it's something that lasts forever, and Blaine, our love is forever..."
Take care of everyone Blaine, including you, and remember all the good things about me, all the good times we spent together... Laugh, Cry, Smile that adorable smile (ha finally got in first with the adorable! Yesss! Victory Dances...)
I love you babe,
Always and Forever
Somewhere Only We Know
I'll see you again, someday...
Love your Husband,
Kurt Elizabeth Hummel- Anderson 3
One day, he's here, the next he's gone, but no one will ever take the place of you... I promised myself I wouldn't let this get me down, but how can I live without you? So, I take these words, and I vow to you, that one day, I'll see you again... but if that doesn't happen, and you're up there alone... please, don't forget me... because I won't forget you, and sometimes, when I look back on our lives, all I can see is that first moment, and it's then that I know... Somewhere on a Staircase, you'll be waiting for me... and I'll be looking for you, because I love you, and you love me, and that's just what we do...
The End.
A/N: Alternative Ending complete. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.