Pale skin, fine hairs, a few freckles scattered across her wrist. They blended right in with the small droplets of blood that had splashed on the back of her hand.

Her mothers blood.

Sakura stretched her fingers, staring in a daze as the skin pulled taught across muscle and bone. Her hand acted only at her will...somehow...

"Sakura?"

She looked up, still disconnected, to see her father's anxious face. Oh yeah, he was here too. They were both sitting in a hallway outside the operating room. Kabuto was in there healing her mother, trying to save her life.

The same life her hand had just moments before tried to snuff out.

Sakura looked back down at her hand. It had acted without her will, without even her consciousness. It had knowingly...reflexively?...grabbed a kunai and plunged it straight into her mother's heart.

Her father was talking but his words were distant sounds, meaningless static, drowned out by the sheer shock and confusion her mind was immersed in.

How had this happened? Sakura couldn't remember what she had been dreaming about...if she had been dreaming at all.

"...nothing to worry about now." came Kabuto's voice, causing Sakura to reel her thoughts back into present surroundings. She looked up to see her father gripping Kabuto in a crushing hug. If Sakura wasn't feeling so sober right now perhaps she would have laughed at the pained expression on Kabuto's face and how he was awkwardly patting her father on the back. Under normal circumstances she would have definitely laughed at the way Kabuto's feet were suspended off the floor due to the fact that Kizashi was at least a foot and a half taller.

"W-would you like to see her?" Kabuto offered, no doubt as incentive to let him go. It worked, as he was promptly let down, Kisashi nodding vigorously.

Then they both turned to her.

There was an awkward silence between them and Sakura was not sure how to break it. In her own opinion she should stay as far away as possible, lest she do even more damage than she already had. But they both seemed to be expecting her to follow them so...reluctantly and silently that's exactly what Sakura did.

Her mothers slim figure was still on the operating table, asleep either due to drugs or trauma. Kabuto and Kizashi stood on either side, her father taking one pale hand between both of his. Sakura could see the love and relief in her father's eyes, watching as he gently stroked her mothers hand. Kabuto was murmuring something to her father, likely reassuring him that Mebuki would wake up.

Kabuto himself appeared worn out but content. She recognized the look of humble pride he wore, it was the same one she wore after a successful surgery and another life was saved.

Sakura elected to stay at a distance, observing only. In a corner the pile of blood soaked linens and gauze did not miss her notice, causing the guilt to deepen.

After a while Kabuto turned to her and raised an eyebrow, indicating his surprise at her unwillingness to come closer. She gently shook her head and he shrugged in response. Kabuto then temporarily left the room, only to return with a chair. He placed the chair next to her father, who promptly sat down.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and stiffened.

"Are you going to be alright?" Kabuto asked, his onyx eyes searching her own emerald orbs. No doubt he saw the conflict therein because his grip tightened, "Do you want me to go with you?"

She recognized his offer of protection. He would not allow her to unwillingly inflict more harm to his patient, the reason she feared going closer. It took Sakura a moment to consider, finally answering with a small sigh of acceptance.

With his hand still on her shoulder they approached. Her mother's features were drawn out and pale, the look of someone who had lost a great deal of blood. There was no movement under her eyelids, indicating she was in a dreamless state of recovery. Her father had laid his head down on the edge of the mattress, continuing his gentle treatment of his wife's hand. Silently Kabuto handed her a clipboard, on it was a list of all the procedures her mother had undergone.

It had been close. Very very close. In fact, she had seriously underestimated Kabuto's skills, it was no easy task pulling someone back from the brink of death after suffering a direct stab to the heart. The only other people who would have likely succeeded were Tsunade-sama and maybe Shizune-senpai. Reading the detailed damage left Sakura feeling suddenly overwhelmed, causing her to shove the clipboard to Kabuto's chest, break from his hold and flee the room. Blindly she ran, seeking somewhere, anywhere, to quietly process her thoughts.

She ended up in a empty room, a dusty piano shoved in one corner. Sakura sat on it's bench and closed her eyes. There was something critically wrong with her, other than the growths Kabuto had amputated.

Never had her sleepwalking resulting in harm to oth-it had! Sakura abruptly recalled shortly before the gala when she had woken up surrounded by dead bodies and blood in her mouth. How had she forgotten such a traumatizing event? She had completely forgotten to tell her shishou, Kabuto and, most importantly, her parents that she had killed in her sleep before!

How had she forgotten that?!

There had to be something affecting her mind and memories. No one would forget committing something so gruesome without mental tampering.

Frantically she thought back to the gala, how Tsunade-sama had found the seal on her back, cleverly disguised as a minor blemish. Was it somehow related to her violent intent during her night escapades? Could it be the seal's instability was inciting the violent behavior? Was it also controlling her mind, making her forget? Her shishou had informed her that the seal was weakening, losing it's affect. Wouldn't the seal weakening mean the influence would lessen, not escalate?

Disappointingly Kabuto hadn't been able to detect the seal's nature either. When he suggested that Orochimaru, being more knowledgeable of seals, take a look Sakura refused point blank. The deal and contract specified that her medical history remain exclusively between Kabuto, Tsunade-sama and herself. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so inflexible, the snake sannin could probably tell her what kind of seal it was.

Who would have predicted a day would come when she regretted turning down Orochimaru's help?

"I didn't know you played."

Sakura jerked to attention, realizing that her hands had autopiloted to the board and where gracefully making their way across the keys. She pulled her hands back, a shiver running up her spine when she recognized the tune which had haunted her for the better part of the year.

"I don't." she grumbled, turning away from Kabuto's advance.

"Your mother is awake and asking for you."

"Tell her I'm fine and to concentrate on getting better." she dismissed him, wanting to be alone with her thoughts once more.

"I can't leave you here, this is technically a restricted section." he explained, sounding apologetic.

"Why? There isn't even anything here. What could I possibly learn and use against Sound in this empty room?" she challenged, getting a little aggravated at his insistence to herd her.

"It's not that, this section has unstable foundations. One wrong move and the tunnel could collapse-"

"SO LET IT COLLAPSE!" she screamed, wrapping her arms around herself.

Kabuto knew she was talking about more than just the tunnel. Sakura was tired of holding on, of maintaining her strength throughout her tribulations. Her bravado was failing and she was on the cusp of breaking down, perhaps emotionally, physically and mentally. He made his way to the bench, resting on the opposite end and spoke softly, trying to reach out to her.

"Sakura...she doesn't blame you. Neither does your father." This was met with a shaky exhale from the rosette.

Of course they didn't blame her, they didn't know she had killed in her sleep before and had forgotten to mention that little fact. If Sakura hadn't forgotten she wouldn't have nearly murdered her own mother tonight. The guilt was just eating her alive...

After a moment of silence Kabuto scooted closer, not quite touching, so that Sakura could feel his body heat.

"It's OK to let go. It's OK to feel sad, scared, uncertain maybe...those are human emotions. That's what you are Sakura, human, like the rest of us. We are flawed, imperfect beings. Sometimes we stop functioning, that's OK too. You just need to remember that everything in life is temporary. Time will continue to move on, nothing can stop it. Old wounds heal and new ones will be inflicted. Then those will eventually heal too, just in time for newer ones to fall upon us. It's a cycle we can't fight or endure alone. To cope we seek contact, that's human nature, our species is inherently pack orientated. Nobody can make it on their own and it's not a weakness to lean on others from time to time. So let yourself unravel for a moment if you need to. I won't judge you for-."

He stopped talking when Sakura leaned over and pressed her body, from shoulder to hip, against his side. Kabuto placed a hand at the crown of her head and guided it downwards to rest on his shoulder. That was all it took for her to break.

Distantly Sakura was aware that he was technically still her enemy and that she should probably not be accepting his offer to be her pillar during a breakdown. One of her parents, Tsunade-sama, Shizune-sempai, hell even Naruto's socially ignorant ass would have been a better option.

She felt ungrateful then, because Kabuto had just saved her mother's life without hesitation, an act which might pull his loyalties into question.

So she gripped the front of his shirt and buried her face into his chest, sobbing loudly and without restraint, most likely smearing him with snot and tears. She felt his hands on her, one mindful of her bandages slowly rubbing up and down her back while the other pet her on the head like she was some terrified animal. Sakura felt like a terrified animal. She couldn't seem to stop wailing and quite frankly didn't want to. It felt good to break down, to have all the built up guilt and hurt flow out.

Sakura eventually collapsed into Kabuto's lap, closing her eyes and simply relishing the way his hand continued to caress her back, even checking under her bandages with a minute amount of chakra. They must of stayed like that for at least half an hour, content and comfortable in their silence like the calm after a storm.

"Your parents are probably wondering where we are. If you're not ready to go back I can send a clone to tell them we will be a while longer?" he softly proposed. Sakura shook her head after sitting up, putting some distance between. Wiping her face with the cuff of her sleeve Sakura followed him out of the room.

He was so considerate...bad guys shouldn't be allowed to be so considerate. Sakura thought, watching Kabuto as he led her back to safer ground.

That thought revived something cold in her, something her recent catharsis had not helped to alleviate...in fact her need to break down in front of him had worsened this particular niggling feeling.

It was fear.

She feared her mind was no longer her own. She feared there was something or somebody controlling her unconscious body and memories. She feared her own desperation, her dependence on Kabuto and his ability to help her. She feared that, even though it wasn't a selfless offer, he was gradually becoming good in her eyes. She feared that the line between good and bad was blurring and, her greatest fear of all, where she stood in relation to that diminishing line.