Sorry! My computer crapped out again and it took me a while to find a free IT guy. (I'm cheap, okay?) This chapter was almost done when my laptop decided to take a break. Took me all day to finish.
P.S. I love Rodney!
Dean woke up warm and content. Mm, Steve. He wondered if his boyfriend would be up to some early morning nooky before he had to go into work. He frowned briefly when he didn't hear Sam banging around in the kitchen, humming tunelessly as he prepared breakfast for them. No sounds of the radio delivering the weather, news, and traffic report traveling all the way upstairs to his room.
He's also rocking slightly...without moving, at least consciously on his part.
What the hell did he drink last night? Better question: Where the hell is he?
Steve carding his hand through his hair had Dean nuzzling into his boyfriend, wrapping his arm tighter around Steve's waist, and entangled their legs. He felt Steve huff out a laugh and continued running his hand through Dean's hair.
Dean let out a whine Steve shifted so he could face him. He guesses he best open his eyes. He loves seeing a sleepy Steve in the morning. The SEAL is incredibly adorable with the mussed up hair, sleepy eyes, and growly, groggy voice. Without fail, it always sends shivers down Dean's spine and would feel himself harden in response to the imagined sound. He rocked himself gently against Steve's thigh.
Another laugh and Dean opens his eyes to greet his boyfriend.
Then immediately rocks back and falls out of bed in shock. Not Steve, not Steve, not Steve. Dean blinks rapidly in hopes of it being a residual vision of a dream, nope.
Oh, god. Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. It wasn't a dream. Fuck. Oh, God. He - he, oh god, Steve.
"Dean, what's wrong?" Sheppard asked in concern, reaching out for him.
Dean flinched back into the cabin wall. He's on his ship, the Centurion Pond, Sheppard arrived yesterday with his friends, and he told John they could catch up. In all honesty, Dean really doesn't remember what happened after hanging up his cellphone.
Oh, God.
"Dean," Sheppard asked softly. "Are you okay?" He slowly, cautiously made his way over to him, hands held out in a calming manner when he was close enough to the distraught archaeologist. "Come here, Dean. Let me help you up. Give me you hand. That's it." Sheppard gently clasped Dean's hand in his with firm yet gentle grip. He pulled Dean back onto the bed and sat back far enough to not crowd him.
He's naked. A quick look down. I'm naked. We're naked.
The tell-tale soreness in his lower extremities is telling a whole new story now. It no longer felt pleasant and good. It felt wrong. Well, not really. It felt sinful, and not in a bad way. At least, not in a completely bad way.
"What did we do?" Dean demanded harshly, guilt making him snappish.
Sheppard reared back as if struck and the hurt expression on the other man's face made Dean flinch and feel like a right bastard.
"We had sex and said we loved each other," said Sheppard bluntly, still hurt over Dean's reaction.
Dean paled as he remembered last night in full color and surround sound. It was awesome, no doubt, judging by his reaction (grabbing a pillow to hide it), and he also recalled how he felt when Sheppard told him he loved him, he was suffused with warm, much like when Steve told him he loved him. He remembered waking up last night and feeling guilt but not regret. No, not regret. Never that.
He also recalled him whispering, "I'm sorry," but he didn't know to whom.
Dean got out of bed and started pacing as he muttered expletives under his breath. What is he going to do? He doesn't need this shit. He's his own damn worst enemy, ain't he?
He needs to handle this delicately. If he pisses off and hurts Sheppard anymore, than any chance of Dr. McKay helping him would be nil. Despite all of McKay's faults, he's damn loyal to those he holds dear to him and calls friend.
You can do this, Winchester. Think of dad. Think of the state dad is in. He's all alone and waiting for you to come home. He's worth leaving Steve and Sheppard for...and the Doctor. He's the only family who has never left Dean or moved on without him. His dad is looking for him (Steve too) and he hasn't given up the hope of finding Dean or ever doubted him coming home.
Think of dad.
"I'm sorry, John, but what we did can never happen again. I love Steve, and yes, I love you too but I'm with Steve. I can't do this to him. I just can't. I'm sorry if this hurts you but we really can't have sex again. I can only be friends with you from here on out. Is that okay?" asked Dean hesitantly. Half because if Sheppard says no and leaves, there goes his only salvation, and the other half because he really doesn't want to hurt John.
Sheppard is quiet for a minute than he speaks in a slow, considering voice. "I can do that."
Dean blinked. What?
"Really?"
Sheppard smirked at him, grey eyes lighting up in amusement. "Yes, Dean, really. Look, you're not the only one who cheated on a significant other. I meant what I said last night. I love you and I missed you like crazy, but like you, I found someone else, and I love her almost as much."
Dean threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "We are fucking horrible boyfriends," he lamented.
Sheppard laughed and agreed with him.
They sat there for a long while, gently swaying to the rhythm of the boat, each lost in thought of their loved ones and their unintended betrayal.
"Well," Dean said with a clap of his hands. "I think it'd be best if we showered and went our separate ways, no?"
Sheppard frowned in thought then grinned at him. "I think it's best if we showered then you came and met my friends. I've told them all about you and they're excited to meet you, and want to thank you for letting us use your place for the week."
McKay. "That'd be cool," Dean said as nonchalantly as he could. This is going even better than he expected. Maybe the Gods are looking down on him in favor for once.
DWSPN
Sheppard introduced Dean to his friends, especially his best friend, Rodney McKay.
"Hello," Dean greeted excitedly, holding his hand out.
Dr. McKay grunted at him before turning his attention back to his tablet, mathematical formulas and computer codes were on the screen.
Sheppard frowned and admonished his friend with a reproving, "Rodney!"
"It's okay," Dean said, not taking his eyes off of McKay, a relieved and happy smile dotting his face. They're the same. "I don't mind. I'm used to absentminded geniuses with little-to-no social skills," said Dean distractedly. "That's not right. If you're trying to prove super-symmetry, you might want to check you equation a little more closely, doctor."
Rodney shot Dean a dirty look, annoyed Sheppard's boy toy dares to tell him he's wrong about something, and as a courtesy to his friend, looked his equation over. His jaw dropped when he ran the simulation. Dean was right.
Now he's even more annoyed. A freaking soft scientist corrected one of his equations.
"All right, genius," Rodney taunted. "Tell me how to fix it."
Dean raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't know. Shouldn't you? I mean, this is your field, right?"
"Then why did you say I was wrong?" Rodney asked with a sneer.
"It looked off. I may not know physics as you do, but I know enough to notice something being off with the math," Dean said smugly.
Rodney sputtered indignantly, unable to think of a suitably epithet for the archaeologist.
"I - you - how?" He growled in frustration and pointed a pissed off finger at Dean. "That's it, pretty boy. Prime, not prime, right now, 98,721."
Dean held out his hands in a deterring manner. "Whoa! What did I just say, Dr. McKay? I don't know math that well. How the hell am supposed to know if 98,721 is a prime number or not? I'm an archaeologist, not a physicist. My area of expertise is culture and languages, no math related stuff there, or at least nothing that complicated." Rodney sneered at that. "Plus, my real job is retrieving stolen artifacts and verifying any found historical objects. That takes me all over the world, and I probably make more money than you."
McKay narrowed his eyes. "You do not," he spat.
Dean smirked. "I do so."
"Give me your bank statement," he demanded, determined to prove no soft scientist makes more money than he does.
That time Sheppard yelled, "Rodney, that is enough!"
"John, shut up," Dean said. "I don't mind showing my bank statement."
Sheppard was going to argue back until he saw the glint in Dean's eyes. He shut his mouth, crossed his arms, and waited for the show to start.
"Do you mind?" Dean asked already reaching for the tablet.
Rodney gave it up without a fight. Dean logged into his bank account and gave the tablet back to McKay, who took it with an arrogant sneer. He looked down at the screen then promptly dropped the device in shock. He paled and gaped at Dean in disbelief.
"That - that is...uh..I - how?" He just stared at Dean open mouthed, blinking rapidly as he tried to digest just how much money Dean actually has.
"And that is just my inheritance. Wanna see my paycheck before I quit?" Rodney nodded his head numbly. Dean picked up the tablet from the floor, tapped on it, then handed it back to the gaping physicist.
He took it and looked at the screen. This time he didn't drop it, he just let it hang by his side in a lax grip.
Dean moved so he could whisper to the brilliant scientist. "We need to talk. I have a business proposition for you, and I think it's right up your alley, but Sheppard can't know about it, okay?" McKay nodded and Dean stepped back with a grin. "Now that we settled the dispute over who makes the most money, anyone hungry?" he asked the group.
They nodded their heads and Dean called for the in-house chef to prepare a feast for them. Dean shooed Sheppard away to help get the lanai set up for the impromptu barbecue. Once he walked outside with the dinner plates, Dean grabbed Dr. McKay's hand and dragged him upstairs to his office, locking the door behind them, and told the physicist what he has in mind.
Dr. McKay listened intently, interrupting every now and then but otherwise let Dean explain what he plans on doing, save for him being from a different universe and that he wants to get back to said universe. The good doctor only needs to know the bare essentials.
Rodney sat in silence after Dean outlined his plan.
"You want to punch a hole into another universe, is what you're telling me?" McKay asked to clarify. Dean nodded. "I would have virtually unlimited funds to do so?" Another nod. "I would also get to have sole publishing rights to any paper I want to write?" A shrug then a nod. "What's the catch?" he asked suspiciously.
"You can't tell anyone what you're doing or that you're working for me. They cannot know of any connection between us. You'll be working at an off-shore site I recently acquired in Alaska. Don't worry, it's quite comfortable and lavish and very high-end. You'll be comfortable, doctor, I swear," said Dean with an earnest expression.
"This means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No. I'm going to need some time to come up with a believable explanation as to why I'm suddenly leaving my dream job to go to Alaska of all places. I'll also need to arrange for my place and bills to be taken care of. Do you know how long it will take?" Rodney asked, mind flitting a mile a second as he tried to organize what needed being done.
Dean shrugged. "Dunno. That's your area. I'm just the bank on this one." Dean snapped his fingers. "Oh, yeah, here." He gave Dr. McKay the dossiers.
Rodney grabbed the files and did a quick perusal. "Ah," he murmured. "I see."
Dean didn't interrupt or question him. He leaned against his desk, patiently waiting for the physicist to read the files, and answer any new questions he might have.
It didn't take long for the brilliant physicist to read the dossiers. When he was done, he calmly put the files on Dean's desk, lining them up perfectly, and looked at Dean with an enigmatic expression, arms crossed. He stared at Dean, eyes assessing, making Dean feel like he's being x-rayed but stoically stood firm, chin raised slightly in defiance. Dr. McKay gave a sharp nod of approval.
"I'm going to ask you three questions, Winchester, and if you're lying or if I think your lying, I won't do this experiment, got me?" Dean nodded warily. "Alright. So, from what Sheppard has told me about you, why are you suddenly interested in string theory? It doesn't seem like it's within the realm of your interests."
Dean took a deep breath. He can't lose McKay. He just can't. "It's complicated. Can you ask a different one or save this one for later? Like after we've punched a hole into another reality?" he asked a little desperately. Technically not lying.
Dr. McKay must have thought the same thing for he snorted and asked another question. "Sheppard said after he called you asked about me, why? The way he phrased the words, it sounded like the only reason you allowed us to come here is because of me. Now, I know I have a huge ego, rightly so, I am brilliant, but why me? Out of all the physicists in the world, why me?"
"I take it you won't accept 'because you're the best' as an answer, huh?" At McKay's unamused look, Dean sighed. "I know you're the best and I know you can compensate for any mistakes and any unexpected events. I've read your papers on dark matter and exotic particles, doctor, and I know you will rise to the occasion and do your job."
McKay stared at him again, this time Dean fidgeted. "Hm," he grunted. "From your dossiers, which are neatly organized to my specifications, surprisingly, I have one question, and this one you must answer." He pinned Dean with an intense stare. "Are you from another reality?"
Dean felt the air rush out of his lungs, like he'd been gut-checked, and stared at Dr. McKay in shock. There is no way he could have figured that out! No. Just no. He was careful in his wording in the dossiers and his little speech to get McKay to agree to the experiment. How-?
"I-I, uh, I...wha-?" Dean stuttered, basically confirming Dr. McKay's supposition, and flushed a deep red. "How the hell did you figure that out? You're the only one who's smart enough to figure it out."
McKay gave him a smug look. It made Dean want to smack him. "Genius, remember?" he said smugly, pointing at himself. "I did the math and used common sense. The amount of money you have is almost impossible. Despite making a promise to Sheppard, I broke it, and looked you up. The identity you have online and in the papers, is damn near fool proof, but I'm smart and I dug a little deeper. I found some anomalies and pursued it.
"Whoever made your identity is quite talented. If it had been anyone else but me, no one would have ever known you never existed...in this reality. Now, as for you made your identity, let alone brought you here, I think I have an idea who that is. Bear with me, now.
"I hacked into some government agencies, including UNIT, that one took me a while. I think they were using extraterrestrial technology for their firewalls. Anyway, I came across the file under the name of Doctor, and it contained different sites and sources of an alien life form who seems to like Earth. He pops up everywhere in our history. I've also found some missing persons' reports but they pop up within a couple weeks, months, a year after they're reported missing. I think they're his traveling companions. The latest seems to be Clara Oswald, a school teacher.
"The ones before her was a married couple, the Williams'. Amelia and Rory Williams. They mysteriously disappeared yet only the parents of Amelia reported them missing. The Williams never reported their only son as missing. I found their names in a newspaper in the late 30's - early 40's...in America. Care to explain that?" McKay asked in a snide voice.
Dean saw red and grabbed the physicist by his lapels and shoved him against his bookcase. He pressed his forearm across the other man's neck, cutting off his oxygen just enough to prove a point before lessening the pressure, and spoke in a furious yet calm voice.
"Don't you ever say their name again," he hissed, spittle hitting the physicist's face. "You asked your three questions, doctor. Do we have an agreement or not? You are the best in your field, yes, but you are not the only who can do this. I can pay you a lot and you have free reign and virtually unlimited funds for your experiments. You have a site that you have the run of. You have sole rights to any new science you inadvertently discover. If that isn't incentive enough, I will find someone else to do the experiment of a life time."
Dr. McKay stared at Dean wide-eyed. He gulped before nodding his head as much as he could without putting added pressure on his larynx.
"Good," Dean said, voice still vibrating with rage. He pulled back and smoothed his clothing over and spoke in a calmer tone. "You have until the end of the month to get your affairs in order, doctor. No talking to John about the experiment or where I'm actually from. Don't talk to anybody that isn't me. Got it?" A jerky nod has Dean smiling. "Fantastic. Shall we head back down to the party?"
"Y-yes," McKay stuttered. "Though I think I better take a minute to not raise any suspicions. You have my word, Dr. Winchester, I won't say anything to Sheppard or my friends. I'll be ready by the end of the month."
Dean stared at him, eyes narrowed then nodded. "Thanks," he grunted.
He brushed past the physicist to make his way downstairs, but McKay's voice stopped him.
"I'm sorry about your loss. I didn't know you knew them. Can I ask one more question?"
Dean hesitated then nodded. "Fire away."
"In one of the reports of the Doctor, it said he had a soul mate, and that his soul mate was human but not from this reality. Apparently there were rules about soul mates with Time Lords and they couldn't be in the same reality for some reason. Why does a Time Lord need one and are they always human?"
"Ah," said Dean, thinking how he should answer that. "Only a handful of Time Lords have a soul mate and I have no idea if their soul mates are human. I only know of one with a human soul mate."
"Are you the Doctor's soul mate?"
"Yes."
A beat of silence then, "I have so many questions but I realize now is not the time to ask them," McKay said in a surprising show of restraint. Normally he'd ask questions until he was content and had all the answers required for him to move on to a different subject. He's tenacious to an almost unheard of degree, much to his team mates' eternal annoyance.
"You good?" asked Dean, hand on the doorknob. At his nod, Dean opened the door and strolled downstairs with the physicist on his heels.
"Where'd you guys go?" Sheppard demanded as soon as they entered the kitchen.
Dean and Dr. McKay shared a look and didn't answer the nosy colonel. They merely brushed past him and out to Dean's lanai where the food is waiting and Dean and McKay are hungry, and no one is going to stop them from sating their appetite. They did smirk at each other at Sheppard's outraged sputtering. He shut up, however, when the beautiful Teyla Emmagan placed a calming hand on his arm and laced their fingers together.
Dean felt jealousy rise up at the sight but it quickly faded when he thought of Steve. He missed him, bad.
They ate and Dean got to know Sheppard's friends and found himself really liking Ronon Dex and Major Evan Lorne. The woman, Elizabeth Weir, has a dry sense of humor, and the Scottish (Amy) medical doctor, Carson Beckett, is hilarious when he imbibes a large amount of alcohol but is usually amiable and talkative. There is the Czech physicist, Radek Zelenka, who has quite the dirty mouth. He cusses in Czech, thinking no one understands him, well, Dean does, and the look on his face when Dean chastised him in his native tongue...priceless!
All in all, Dean really liked Sheppard's friends, even Teyla.
He bade them goodbye and headed back to his yacht, alone. He's not having a repeat of last night. Well, at least not in this life time. He's really hoping they meet up again somewhere down the line, and that they'll be together instead of friends or adversaries.
Captain Burke met at Dean at the dock and inquired whether or not they'll be going out tomorrow morning. Dean thought about it then nodded.
"Yes. I think I want to do some deep sea fishing. I'm going to beat you this time to, Captain. Last time was a fluke and you know it," Dean said and Captain Burke only grinned in response.
"Yes, sir."
Dean narrowed his eyes at him. "You're just appeasing me, aren't you?"
The grin grew wider. "Yes, sir."
"Gah!" Dean yelled in faux outrage. "That's it. Tomorrow, deep sea fishing off. Winner's choice of prize. Deal?" Dean held his hand out for the captain to shake.
"Deal, sir," Captain Burke said and shook Dean's hand. "I want a new car, should I win."
Dean nodded his head. "Okay. If I win, I want you to teach me all about boating/yachting... whatever it's called."
Captain Burke quirked an eyebrow at his wording but nodded his head in agreement. "Deal," he said and shook Dean's hand. "I can't wait to go pick out my new car."
Dean sputtered at his arrogance, and a small smile appeared on the Captain's face. He bowed to Dean then made his way up to the control room. Dean should buy a bigger boat, one of Burke's style. He's a good man, a loyal one. He deserves it.
An idea popped into Dean's head, he mentally shrugged and thought, "why not?" before heading down to his cabin to grab his laptop. A few minutes later, Captain Neal Burke became one of Dean's beneficiaries when he leaves, so he'll get a chunk of Dean's money. He'll be leaving but to this reality, he dies in a plane crash in the Pacific ocean, an hour away from Australia. That's his plan, anyway. He has a back-up plan, of course he does, but he's really hoping to not use that one. Steve won't like it. Danny and Grace won't like it. Chin Ho and Kono won't like it. Hell, Sam won't like it.
Okay, he's lying. He doesn't have a back-up plan. The plane crash over the Pacific is his only plan. It's a good one, in his humble opinion.
Dean flopped back onto his bed with an explosive sigh. Oy, his head hurts. As does his heart. God, Steve.
No, don't think about that. Not yet.
His phone ringing has Dean flinching and curling into a fetal position. No. Please, no. He let it ring until his voicemail picked it up. A few seconds later, his phone rang again, and Dean put it on silent. No thanks. Not right now. Fuck, Steve.
Is it even Steve calling?
Dean's head popped up from underneath the pillow he burrowed under. The thought of someone else calling him, never occurred to him. Knowing his luck lately, it could be Steve. He did just cheat on him. Nemesis could have it out for him. She's vindictive like that. It's her fucking name and raison d'etra.
Taking a deep breath, Dean grabbed his phone and checked to see who called. Shit. Steve.
Steve's picture flashed across his screen as his phone silently rang. Don't be a coward, he berated himself and slid his thumb across the screen to answer.
"Hello?"
"Dean, there you are. Where have you been? You okay?" Steve asked, worried.
Guilt slammed into him but Dean ruthlessly shoved it down. Now is not the time. It won't be for a long time. "I'm fine. Just got back from hanging out with Sheppard and his friends. What's up?" See? Didn't lie. Just omitted.
"Oh," Steve said, voice curiously blank. "Are you doing anything tomorrow? I know you wanted me and Sam to stay away but I have to see you."
Double shit. "It can't wait?" he asked desperately, if a little frantic. Nononono! Not yet. Not now.
"Do you not want me to come over?" A pause. "What happened? Did Sheppard do something?"
Triple shit. "Er," he stalled, his brain quickly flitting through various responses, trying to find the perfect one that'll keep Steve away.
"Dean, what did Sheppard do?"
Me. "Nothing!" he shouted. "Fuck, Steve, I asked one thing from you and you can't fucking do it! I told you I wanted to be undisturbed this week but not even a day goes by and you're fucking calling me! Why? What is so fucking important that you're breaking your word to me?"
Dean breathed hard, his heart racing, and his stomach roiling. God, he's an asshole of an unheard of degree.
There's silence at the other end of the phone. Hurt silence, if Dean cared to admit, which he's not at the moment.
"Fine. See you in a week, Winchester. Maybe," Steve said in a clipped tone then hung up.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled and threw his phone against his cabin wall, shattering it. Nemesis definitely has it out for him.
Dean stormed out his room and barked at his crew to weigh anchor, they're going out today, and they're staying there for the foreseeable future. They jumped to it without question. Within minutes they were going out to sea. Dean ordered to turn off their phones and to not answer any radios call unless it's a life and death emergency. Again, they complied without hesitation. They really are good men.
"Do you wish to have the upper deck cleared out, sir?" Kameron asked. Dean nodded and Kameron took off to send everyone down to the lower decks. He stopped by Dean's seat in the lounge on the middle deck to say the upper level is clear. Dean grunted his thanks before going upstairs.
He laid down on the deck and stared up at the stars, mind mercifully blank. The lights going out had Dean sitting up only to lay back down when he saw Captain Burke in the control room. He really has the best crew.
Dean stayed out there all night, barely moving from his position, and when he woke up he was on the chaise lounge covered with a light blanket. Kameron placing a cup of coffee beside him, had Dean curling into the blanket, feeling bad about last night. He felt Kameron place his hand on Dean's shoulder before moving away to do his duties.
When he felt a little better, he snuck his hand out to grab his coffee, and brought it under the blanket to drink. He's not emerging from his little shelter until he felt like he could face the day. It took another hour for him to feel so, and when he did, Captain Burke was waiting for him.
"Sir?" he asked, hesitating slightly. Dean waved him on as he filled his coffee cup back up with a carafe that Kameron helpfully left for him. "Do you want to talk about what made you have us haul anchor last night?"
Dean sighed and yanked the blanket to his chin. "No. Not now anyway. You know I fucked up, right?" Burke nodded warily, unsure if he should have done so. "Yeah, well, my boyfriend called, somehow knowing something was wrong, and I snapped. And apparently I want to talk about it now."
Burke gave a soft smile. He reached out and ruffled Dean's hair in a fatherly show of affection. Dean's eyes stung and he pulled the blanket over his head. He wants his dad, dammit. He needs him.
"Dean," Burke called softly. "Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has a weakness. That fluffy haired guy is yours. He was there when you needed someone most, of course you're going to slip up when he's around. Admit and acknowledge what you did and move on. You can tell Mr. McGarrett but I don't think that'd be a good idea. He has a weakness too, and I'm pretty sure he gave into to temptation as well. It'd be better if the both of you don't ever talk about what happened, yes?"
Dean thought about it then nodded. He heard Burke get up. Thinking the older man left, Dean pulled the blanket down off his head to drink some more coffee. He jerked back when he saw Burked standing in front of him. Burke gently cupped the back of Dean's neck and pulled him forward so he could kiss him on his brow.
"Rest, Dean, and let it go," he whispered before wandering off to do whatever captainy duties he has.
Captain Burke reminded him of his father and Jack. He is like a blend of the two. Maybe that's why Dean chose him to be the keeper of his boat, and why Dean likes to come here as a safe haven. He missed his dad, his father, and Jack fiercely.
If given one wish to see only one of them for a day, Dean had no idea who he'd chose.
The gentle rocking of the ship lulled Dean into a light doze, only to awaken when Irene, the boat's chef, placed a lunch platter in front of him. Dean nodded a thanks, throat tight for some reason he didn't to care to identify why. She nodded back and walked away as silently as she appeared.
The rest of the day he remained in his spot, refusing to get up unless he needed to use the loo.
Night fell and Captain Burke once again turned off the lights so Dean could stare gaze unimpeded, and so passed the next couple of nights in the same manner. Kameron managed to wrangle Dean into the shower a few times, so at least he wasn't rank.
On the fifth day, a dinghy appeared like magic. Or so it seemed. It came out of the dark. Captain Burke saw it first but he recognized it and allowed it to pull up to them.
Dean was in his usual position but this time he was listening to his iPod as he stargazed, humming along with the music. He pretended he was with Rory, Amy, and the Doctor, listening as the Doctor rambled about whatever constellation he pointed out to them. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he could feel Rory's shoulder against his, warm and comforting, like home. A tear leaked out, not that Dean noticed, too lost in his memories. And if he concentrated, he could also pretend his dad, Jack, and Steve were there as well, the smell of their campfire curled around him as if he was actually there.
He had access to a time machine but he could never go back to that one perfect moment. Ain't that a bitch?
Dean closed his eyes as he fought back the tumultuous emotions. He's so sick of crying. Rodney emailed him, telling him they were leaving early. Sheppard wanted to say goodbye but Dean didn't think he was strong enough to have Sheppard leave his life for good. Too much of a reminder of his Steve.
He's exhausted and sick of feeling like a disappointment to everyone around him. He just wants to disappear for a while. Surely he could do that, right?
Right?
Dean could feel someone walking towards him, he turned the volume up on his iPod, not wanting to talk to anyone. He just wants to wallow.
He felt movement and the warmth of a body next to his. Fuck, really? He just can't get a break, can he? Dean turned to his side and prayed whoever it was would go the fuck away and leave him be. But as is his luck of late, the unknown person curled around him, wrapping him in their arms. Dean tried to shove them away, even snarling at them, and when that didn't work, Dean rolled over ready to beat the shit of them. He stopped.
Steve.
Fuck me, he thought despairingly.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly, panic racing through his veins.
"Captain Burke radioed, saying he was worried about you. He thinks you might be getting depressed again," whispered Steve. He wrapped his arm tighter around Dean's waist and pulled him closer. Dean curled into his embrace.
Steve took an earbud from Dean and put it in his own ear so he could listen too. Dean shifted so he could stare up at the night sky. They laid there until his iPod died. Steve pulled him up to his feet and led him down to his room, where he was surprised to see it had been cleaned and his bed had been made. His broken phone had been cleaned up and a new one lay on his bed stand.
That's it, his entire crew is getting a wicked bonus, and a vacation time for however long they want it to last.
Steve gently undressed him down until he was in his underwear before shoving him under his comforter. He quickly stripped down and wrapped himself around Dean in bed. Dean pulled Steve closer to him, soaking all the comfort he's offering. He kept in mind what Burke said and vowed to never tell Steve what happened between him and Sheppard. The captain is right, everyone has a weakness, and sometimes you can be stronger than temptation and other times you're weak. He was weak, and Steve doesn't need to know that.
DWSPN
Dean had Captain Burke take them back to the island. He needed to say goodbye to Sheppard, he deserves that much from Dean. Burke had has been right about Sheppard being there for him when no one else was.
Steve had an unreadable look on his face when they pulled into their slip. Dean barely even glanced at him as he jumped off the boat and ran into the arms of a messy haired -admittingly attractive- lithe man. He had the sudden urge to run down there and tear them apart, but he didn't. Dean would kick his ass, and quite possibly hate him for it. There are moments for Steve's caveman-like tendencies, this is not one of those moments.
He damn near vaulted off the boat when Sheppard, he's assuming, kissed Dean rather passionately. If Captain Burke hadn't of clamped a hand on his shoulder, he would have.
"Breathe, boy," the gray-haired captain murmured. "He loves you. Now let him have this."
Steve gripped the railing tightly and gave a sharp nod. Captain Burke, smart man that he is, kept his hand on Steve's shoulder.
He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding when Dean and Sheppard pulled apart. He didn't know what Sheppard said but it had Dean genuinely laughing. It made him hate Sheppard even more. He's the only who's allowed that particular smile of Dean's or that laugh.
He hated that when Dean needed him most, he wasn't there, too lost in his own hurt, but Sheppard had been there for him. He was the one who truly pulled Dean out of his depression. Yes, Dean healed himself as much as he could, but Sheppard was the one who completely pulled him out of that darkness by just being there for him. Something neither him nor Sam could bring themselves to do. They thought their hurt was more important, that they were in the right, not caring that Dean had been drowning.
He was a reminder of his greatest failure. So, yeah, he hated John Sheppard with a fiery passion.
Steve watched as Sheppard touched his forehead against Dean's, his hands coming up to cradle Dean's face with a tenderness even he can see from here, and he whispered something to Dean that had his boyfriend nodding and hugging the Air Force colonel tightly.
Another kiss, thankfully chaste, and Sheppard and Dean finally pulled apart until only their fingers were touching. Steve swallowed through the sudden lump in his throat. Dean didn't want to let go.
But he did.
Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels as he smiled warmly at Sheppard. He's seen Dean do that action when he physically and emotionally disengaged from a situation. He's done it enough times to Steve that he knows that gesture, and he clamped down on his sudden urge to yell and pump his fist in the air. Dean is choosing him.
What he couldn't stop is the undoubtedly goofy smile on his face. He felt light and giddy.
Another quick hug and Sheppard is on his way to the black suburban waiting for him. Dean waved a hand in farewell until the car is out of sight.
He watched as Dean's shoulders drop and bowed his head. Dean took a deep breath before straightening his shoulders and walked back to the Centurion Pond, to Steve.
He greeted Steve with a smile then was promptly mauled the second he was on the boat. Steve was on him, practically devouring him. Not that he's complaining. He opened for Steve's plundering tongue and allowed him to dominate the kiss, moaning slightly when Steve tilted his head just right that had Dean seeing stars and his toes curling.
Dean broke off the kiss and buried his face into Steve's neck, panting as he tried to catch his breath.
"Jesus, Steve, what was that about?" He panted, even though he's smiling. "Not that I mind," he added with a kiss to his jaw.
Steve wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling him closer. "I just wanted to."
"Uh huh," Dean said skeptically. "I'll buy that for now because that was awesome."
Steve snorted and ducked his head for another kiss. "I know it was."
They stood there for a while, basking in the Hawaiian sun and wind, and each other. It was perfect. Dean's heart still aches from his goodbye with Sheppard, knowing he won't see him again, but at least he got Rodney out of the ordeal. He's getting closer and closer to going home.
Think I cleared up my muse's SNAFU with Sheppard pretty well, don't you think?
*chants* Rodney! Rodney! Rodney!
I was hoping to finish this before 40 chapters, ain't lookin' that way but the end is coming. (Finally.)