Chapter 38 – The New Year

Rachel groped around the empty space for a moment before opening her eyes and lifting her head. The space was cold and she wondered how long Quinn had been out of bed.

Since getting back from Lima, she and Quinn hadn't spent a night apart. She had slept at Quinn's once while Quinn had spent the other two nights at her apartment. It hadn't been something they had planned, but when the time came for them to part, they had been reluctant to do so. Truth be told, Rachel was getting so used to falling asleep with Quinn by her side that it felt strange when she had to sleep without her when they were in Lima. She couldn't help wondering if the same thing was happening with Quinn and that's why she had spent the past two nights at Rachel's.

"Quinn?" Rachel said when she finally padded out of the bedroom.

"Kitchen," Quinn called out.

Rachel stretched as she walked toward the sound of Quinn's voice. Quinn was standing in front of the stove, a spatula in her left hand while she drank from the mug in her right.

"That smells amazing," Rachel commented, her stomach growling. "What are you making?"

"Blueberry pancakes," Quinn answered before turning around and setting a mug down in front of Rachel. "And coffee."

Rachel gave her a grateful smile as she sat down at the island. "Thank you."

"I figured you'd need it considering how late we were awake," Quinn said, smirking over her shoulder.

Rachel hummed as she took a drink of the hot liquid. "You're right. But I don't regret a moment of it."

"I would hope not," Quinn remarked.

Rachel smiled to herself and wrapped her hands around the warm mug. "So, what time do you think you'll be done today?"

"I don't know," Quinn said with a sigh. "Hopefully no later than six if I leave here right after breakfast."

"It's too bad you have work to do," Rachel replied. "I was hoping you would change your mind and we could have the whole day to ourselves."

"Which is why I have so much work to do today, if you recall," Quinn said, turning around, and setting a plate of pancakes in front of Rachel. "You're very distracting and I keep putting it off."

Rachel shrugged. "It's not my fault spending time with your girlfriend is more fun than work."

"Well, if I don't get these manuscripts read and start planning this party for work, we both may be out of a job," Quinn replied. "Then we'd have a lot of time together."

Rachel sighed. "I know. It's just that it's New Year's Eve."

"I know," Quinn said, leaning her elbows against the table. "But we'll be spending all night together, and if I get everything done today, we'll have all of tomorrow." Quinn looked down. "Actually, I, um, I wanted you to have this. I thought you could just let yourself in today in case I'm still busy working. And, you know—you can keep it."

Quinn set a key down on the island and slid it over to Rachel, who stared down at it for a moment before registering what Quinn was doing.

"You're giving me a key to your apartment?" Rachel asked, looking up at Quinn.

"Very badly, but yes," Quinn replied. "I mean, we're over at each other's places so much that I thought it would be easier if you had one. That way you won't have to wait in the hall while I'm in the shower like a few weeks ago. And you can lock the door behind you if you ever have to leave before I'm awake."

"You make an excellent point," Rachel said, reaching out for the key. "Maybe—I can give you one to my place as well."

"You really don't have to if you don't want to," Quinn replied. "I didn't do this to make you do it back."

"I know, but I think you're right," Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders. "It would be easier. And we already have a drawer at each other's place. This is the logical next step. I still have Kurt's old key if you would be okay with that one. Otherwise, I can have one made sometime next week if you would prefer a brand new one."

"Kurt's key is fine," Quinn replied with a smile.

Rachel smiled back and then picked up her fork and began cutting into the pancakes. "Feeding me delicious food, caring for me when I'm sick, romantic gestures—you're really going for girlfriend of the year, aren't you?"

Quinn laughed loudly. "Why? Is it working?"

"I'll let you know after midnight, when the year is officially over," Rachel said, smiling at her.

"You look tired," Rachel observed as she rested her hand on Quinn's. "Are you going to be able to make it until midnight?"

"I hope so," Quinn replied.

"You know, we don't have to go to Stephanie's party if you're not feeling up to it," Rachel said. "We can always go to my place after we leave the theater and have a nice, quiet evening just the two of us."

"I'll be fine," Quinn replied, shaking her head.

Rachel nodded. "If you're sure."

She wasn't going to push Quinn to go to the party, but she also wasn't going to not go if Quinn said she was fine with it. It was the first New Year's they would be spending together, and to be able to kiss Quinn at midnight while they were surrounded by people seemed to make it all that much better.

In high school, they hadn't been able to spend New Year's Eve together. Rachel's fathers had thrown a party and she couldn't exactly explain why she would rather be elsewhere. It was one of her biggest disappointments while they were dating, but there had been nothing she could do about it. Quinn had been unwilling to come to the party and she couldn't exactly sneak out. So, they had been apart when the ball dropped rather than getting to spend it together. This year, though, she was finally going to get to kiss Quinn at midnight, and Rachel couldn't be happier.

"We can leave right after, though, right?" Quinn asked after a few moments.

Rachel gave a light laugh and squeezed Quinn's hand. "We can if that's what you'd like. I'm sure Stephanie would prefer it anyway; I know I hate when people linger too long when they come over for a party." Rachel hit the button on her phone to see the time. "Ten 'til seven; it should be starting soon."

"Good," Quinn replied. "It'll probably wake me up. Unless it's terrible, and then you can just let me sleep."

Rachel smiled. "I will, but if you start snoring, I'll nudge you."

Quinn scoffed. "I do not snore."

"That you know of," Rachel teased.

Quinn narrowed her eyes, which only made Rachel laugh.

"You know, once upon a time, that may have scared me," Rachel said.

Quinn smiled and nudged her shoulder into Rachel's. "It's too bad it still doesn't."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

Quinn laughed, shaking her head. "No. The last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me. Even after we were together the first time, I could see fear in your eyes whenever I was angry, and I always hated it. I mean, I got it. With our history and how horrible I was to you before we started dating, I understood why you'd be afraid, but it hurt."

"It was usually less about being afraid of you and more about being afraid of you breaking up with me," Rachel replied.

"I never would've broken up with you, Rachel," Quinn said. "Not unless—"

"Someone found out about us?" Rachel said.

Quinn nodded. "You were the best thing about my life. You still are. The only way I would have ended things is if I really didn't have a choice. And if someone had found out, then everyone would know, and I never would have had a choice once my parents knew."

"Have you talked to your mom since getting back?" Rachel wondered.

"No, and I don't really expect to anytime soon," Quinn said, sighing. "She didn't seem very happy with me after that dinner. She's probably mad at me for 'flaunting' our relationship, but I don't care."

"I find it hard to believe your father is even worse," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I couldn't even imagine having to live with your mom, so the thought of your father being even worse than your mother is a little crazy to me."

"Well, believe it," Quinn replied. "Hopefully you never have to meet him to see for yourself."

"You'll certainly be getting the better deal when it comes to in-laws," Rachel said.

Rachel froze at the words that left her mouth, and she noticed Quinn do the same. A smile slowly appeared on Quinn's face, though, while Rachel felt like a deer in the headlights. She hadn't really thought about what she was saying, and now that it was out there, she couldn't really take it back.

"At least it would be easy to decide who we were spending the holidays with," Quinn said after a few moments, shrugging her shoulder. "I'm sure your fathers would be thrilled."

"They do love to entertain," Rachel agreed.

Rachel glanced at Quinn; even though it was early in their relationship to be talking about things like marriage, her girlfriend seemed completely unphased by the slip. Quite the opposite, actually; Quinn still had a soft smile on her face as the theater lights began to dim.

"You came!"

Rachel laughed lightly as Stephanie hugged her. "We told you we would be."

When Stephanie pulled away, she looked over at Quinn and nodded, smiling. "Hi, Quinn."

"Hey," Quinn replied.

"How was the show?" Stephanie asked.

"Terrible," Quinn replied.

"It was—okay, it was terrible," Rachel agreed. "The music was bad, the book was nonsensical, and the performances left a lot to be desired." Rachel sighed. "I don't think it's going to move Off-Broadway anytime soon unless they change everything about the show."

"Sounds like a terrible night," Stephanie commented.

"It was until intermission," Rachel replied. "Quinn and I decided to leave then, and we found this little place with the most amazing pizza."

"Hey, you made it!" Nick said, coming up to the group.

"Why does everyone sound so surprised?" Rachel asked.

"Probably because we all thought you and Quinn would end up spending it alone, if you know what I mean," Stephanie said, nudging Rachel with her elbow.

"Why on Earth would you think that?" Rachel asked, ignoring the fact that she did ask Quinn if she'd like to not go to the party and spend it just the two of them.

"Because by the end of karaoke, it was obvious you two couldn't wait to get home," Nick answered.

Rachel felt her cheeks redden, and she glanced at Quinn, who had a slight smirk on her face, looking completely unembarrassed about it. Rachel thought she'd managed to be discreet that night, but she'd apparently failed at it. It wasn't like they'd left that early, though. It was true that they had been the first ones to leave, but they'd all been there for hours. And Rachel had only left when she did because Quinn had whispered something into her ear about not being able to wait until she got her alone.

"They're not even denying it," Stephanie teased.

"Well, if you were dating someone as gorgeous as Quinn, you'd want some alone time with them, too," Rachel teased back.

Stephanie nodded as she gave a light shrug. "She is pretty gorgeous."

"Okay, can we change the subject now?" Quinn asked.

"Come with me," Nick said. "I can show you where the alcohol is, so you don't have to get through this sober."

"You have a good turnout," Rachel commented, but her eyes were following Quinn and she walked across the room behind Nick.

"Free food and free booze? How can anyone resist?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel laughed. "I suppose you're right about that."

"Any chance I can get you to help me in the kitchen for a minute?" Stephanie asked. "You can tell me all about Ohio."

"Of course," Rachel replied. "It's the least I can do for free food and free booze."

Stephanie laughed and asked, "Is it really free if you're having to work for it?"

"Okay, so, discounted food and booze?" Rachel said as she began follow Stephanie to the kitchen, where her boyfriend, Matt, was walking out of with an arm full of soda.

"The vegetable tray is getting low," Matt said, looking over at Stephanie.

"Rachel and I are going to work on that right now," Stephanie replied, kissing his cheek.

"She's managed to wrangle you into helping, has she?" Matt asked as the two women entered the kitchen.

"I'm more than happy to lend my services," Rachel replied over her shoulder.

"Okay, now that we're alone, I want to hear about Ohio," Stephanie said, grabbing two knives from the block on the counter, and handing one to Rachel.

"Surprisingly, nothing overly exciting happened," Rachel replied. "We did run into Finn at the movies, but he didn't actually say anything to either of us. Of course, he was with his friend and we were in public, so he may have just not wanted to make a scene. My fathers were great; Quinn came over for dinner one night and we had breakfast the morning we left, and they were completely welcoming. I guess the biggest thing that happened was having dinner with Quinn's mother and sister, who were slightly less welcoming. Oh, and we ran into two of our old classmates and former Glee Club members who just happen to be the biggest gossips in school other than Kurt, so I'm fairly certain everyone we graduated with now knows of our relationship. More people have tried contacting Quinn about it than me, though. I guess she comes as more of a shock."

"What does?"

Rachel looked over at Quinn and smiled. "You not only being gay, but dating me. I was just telling her about being in Lima and Tina and Mercedes finding out."

Quinn hummed and leaned against the counter, next to Rachel. "I don't know why it's that shocking. I may have dated several guys in high school, but can anyone honestly say I seemed very interested in them?"

"People are usually clueless until you smack them in the face with it," Stephanie said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I guess that's a good thing or someone may have figured it out back then," Rachel replied. "I'm afraid I wasn't always the most subtle with my feelings when I was in the same room with Quinn."

"Sadly, I probably wasn't either," Quinn said. "And I'm definitely not now."

"Ugh, you two are disgustingly in love," Stephanie said, throwing a piece of carrot at Rachel.

"Why did I think throwing this party would be a good idea?" Stephanie asked, sighing as she picked up some trash from her end table.

"Because you like entertaining friends?" Rachel questioned.

"My friends are slobs," Stephanie replied, dropping the garbage bag she was holding onto the floor, and sitting down on the arm of the couch. "Thank god for people like you two. You actually know how to pick up after yourselves."

"Well, doing anything else is just rude," Rachel said.

"You would think a bunch of people in the medical field would be a little cleaner," Stephanie said, nodding toward of group of her boyfriend's friends. "It makes me worry about ever having to go to their hospital."

Rachel laughed. "Well, if you need any help cleaning up, just ask."

"I'll keep that in mind," Stephanie said before leaning forward to look at Quinn. "Are you going to make it?"

"Maybe," Quinn replied.

"I'll make sure she's awake at midnight," Rachel said, patting Quinn's leg. "Which isn't long from now, is it?"

"Nope," Stephanie replied.

"So this is where all the cool kids are," Matt said, walking over to the group.

"That would be a first," Rachel replied.

"What would be?" Stephanie asked.

"Me being one of the cool kids," Rachel replied. "I don't think that word has ever been used to describe me."

"That's because people are stupid." Quinn commented.

"Hear, hear," Matt said, raising his bottle of beer.

"You realize you're one of the people who thought I was far from cool, right?" Rachel said with a soft smile as she nudged Quinn's shoulder with hers.

"That's because I was an idiot," Quinn replied. "And I also thought popularity was everything. Again, I was an idiot."

"Let me guess—you were a cheerleader," Matt said.

"Quinn was head cheerleader," Rachel replied. "She was the most popular girl in school; all the guys wanted to date her and all the girls wanted to be her." Rachel grinned. "Well, some of us girls wanted to date her, too."

"And you got her," Stephanie said.

"Imagine that," Rachel said, slipping her hand under Quinn's.

"I dated a cheerleader once," Matt said, narrowing his eyes slightly as if he was lost in thought. "She dumped me a week later for one of the guys on the football team."

"I kissed a cheerleader once," Stephanie said, shrugging her shoulders.

"There were male cheerleaders at your high school?" Matt asked.

Stephanie smiled. "I didn't say that."

Rachel laughed as Stephanie smiled at her boyfriend, who looked surprised but shrugged a moment later.

"It was done on a dare, but I didn't hate it," Stephanie added.

"I learn something new about you every day," Matt said, leaning down, and kissing Stephanie's cheek.

"What time is it?" Stephanie asked, grabbing Matt's arm, and looking at his watch. "It's almost midnight! We need to turn the TV on."

"I've got it," Matt replied.

"I'll get the champagne," Stephanie said, standing up from the couch.

Rachel shook her head, a smile on her face as she said, "I predict they'll be engaged before the end of next year."

"Yeah?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. I think they're perfect for each other."

Quinn hummed before standing up, pulling Rachel along with her. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Out there," Quinn said, nodding toward the balcony.

"But it's snowing," Rachel replied.

"I know," Quinn said, looking over her shoulder, and smiling at Rachel.

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but closed it a moment later. She could hear the countdown coming from the television and knew they only had a little under a minute to go. And if Quinn wanted to be outside in the snow to kiss at midnight then she wasn't going to fight it.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed in the snow?" Quinn asked.

Rachel laughed and ducked her head. "How could I forget? It was the first time we kissed after you showed up at my house and told me you dumped Finn."

"Is there anything you don't remember?" Quinn asked with a soft smile.

Rachel shook her head. "I remember everything about us back then. For better or worse."

"Three, two, one!"

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, pulling their bodies flush against one another. Rachel could hear the cheers of 'happy New Year' coming from inside the apartment, but all sound began to fade away as Quinn's lips moved against hers. The kiss wasn't even particularly heated or deep—it was actually quite slow and soft—but it felt like a promise. They had made it through the holidays together, braving their family and friends and their hometown, and Rachel felt like the kiss was a promise to do it all again the next year.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, looking down at Rachel as they continued walking down the sidewalk.

"Of course," Rachel replied, turning to look at her girlfriend. "I'm more than okay, actually."

"You've just been really quiet," Quinn noted.

Rachel smiled and squeezed Quinn's arm. "Sorry. I've just been thinking."

"About what?" Quinn asked.

"Nothing important," Rachel replied. "Just—how different things are for me. A year ago, I was with Finn and performing in a musical I loved. I had the support of friends and my fathers and I thought I was happy. I convinced myself that I would never be any happier than that."

Quinn nodded and after a few moments asked, "And now?"

"Now, I realize I was wrong," Rachel said. "My engagement ended and I'm unemployed, yet I'm happier than I was. And I know I am because I no longer have to convince myself that I'm happy. I just am." Rachel let out a light laugh. "Actually, sometimes I try to convince myself that I'm not nearly as happy as I feel I am because it's a little terrifying. I know how quickly things can change, and what if this changes?"

"That's not going to happen," Quinn replied.

"You can't promise that," Rachel said.

"I can promise I'm not going anywhere," Quinn said, stopping, and looking at Rachel.

Rachel wanted to believe Quinn, but it was still hard. She always had so many 'what ifs' in her head that it was hard to just let herself relax and enjoy everything. She knew what it was like to lose Quinn; it had happened once and she didn't know what she would do if it happened again. Because she was fairly certain it would be even worse the second time around, and the first time had nearly destroyed her.

"I love you," Quinn added. "I hope you believe that."

"I do," Rachel replied.

Quinn nodded as she reached out for Rachel's hand. "Then believe I'm not going anywhere. Not unless it's completely out of my control. And I don't plan on being abducted by aliens or being incarcerated or dying anytime soon."

Rachel laughed lightly and shook her head. "Aliens, huh? Do you think about that a lot?"

"I may have watched a documentary when I was in Lima," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile.

"It wasn't that one you made me watch back in high school, was it?" Rachel asked as they began walking again. "Because I had nightmares for a week about little green men coming for me."

"This was a newer one," Quinn replied. "I can show you it if you'd like."

"Very funny," Rachel said, pursing her lips.

"Just thought I'd check," Quinn replied, nudging her with a smile.

"I don't need to have any more nightmares," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"At least this time I would be there next to you," Quinn commented. "You know, as long as you keep letting me stay over."

Rachel hummed and tried to hide her smile. "Yes, I should really stop that sometime soon."

"I agree," Quinn replied. "It's a terrible habit to get into. I'm staying over tonight, though, right?"

Rachel laughed. "Definitely."

Rachel looked down, smiling to herself as she and Quinn passed by a man walking a puppy.

"Okay, that is quite possibly the cutest animal I've ever seen," Rachel remarked, looking over her shoulder as the man walked in the opposite direction. "I want one."

"Why don't you get one?" Quinn asked.

Rachel sighed. "My landlord has a policy about no animals. Kurt and I wanted to get a cat when he moved in, but our landlord wouldn't budge. Kurt wanted to sneak one in, but I was afraid we'd get kicked out or we would eventually be found out and have to give it up, so I refused."

"You could always get one and keep it at my place," Quinn said.

"What?" Rachel replied in surprise, stopping in her tracks.

"You're over at my place half the time anyway," Quinn said with a nonchalant shrug. "I wouldn't be opposed to us having a dog or cat together."

"I know, but—" Rachel closed her mouth and shook her head.

It was one thing for Quinn to tell her she loved her and she wasn't going anywhere, but it was things like this that made her truly believe that Quinn was in it for good.

"I hope you don't think I'm trying to pressure you," Quinn added. "I'm just saying—think about it."

"I will," Rachel said, a soft smile slowly forming on her face.

Three chapters to go.