Rebellious

Chapter Thirty Eight – Personal feelings (Hatred)

Sapphire stood before them, standing indifferently, showing of her pride and yet her anger at the same time. Her eyes were narrowed, dangerously at that, especially at those who dared to glare at her. She stood in between, but not centred, the Republican soldiers and the two males she had been travelling with. Of course Van and Irvine hadn't seen this side of her before, not as angry as this, so of course their reaction to her enraged form was to be in shock and somewhat petrified. Irvine gulped down the nerves that swelled in his throat, now thinking that getting the two old adversaries together was a bad idea. Van was thinking along similar lines and he refused to allow anyone to know that he had some nerves building up inside of him. Herman continued to look at Sapphire, neither hatred nor happiness in seeing her. The other's opinions was easy to read as they were glaring right at her, just like she was applying back a gaze more deadly than before, but probably the atmosphere around her wasn't as dangerous as when she was fighting with Rafael.

"Now then, you wished to confirm something with us Republicans, Sapphire..." She narrowed her eyes at him before he could apply something else to that sentence. Herman knew when to shut his mouth with this female. He had heard of her reputation of when she got angry and when she actually obeyed orders, which the latter was so rare. So there was no doubt that she wouldn't obey orders this time either. "Well then, let's hear what you have to say to us, Sapphire." The time had come at last and this was the chance that Herman never wanted to give up. To meet the girl who had so effortless killed so many troops of his, far more so than this Raven character with the black organoid, he was impressed that such a person, let alone a female, could withhold such a reputation.

"First of all, if you wish for me to comply with your questions so easily, kill the glares of your troops and stop calling me an Imperial, or ex, then I might be more complying." Herman nodded and looked to his men, and with the hand gesture, they stopped their glares but refused to make contact with her. She didn't care if they hated her, but in some form or another, she'd rather get it clear that she was no longer the person she used to be, and she'd rather have cooperation with who she was to work with and not some insults that would just anger her incredibly. "Now then, if you want to know things about me, you best answer your questions, because that is the only way that I will speak of myself, but if there are things I do not wish to share I will not share them with you."

"Understood!" He confirmed with the nod of his head. But his eyes were narrowed as he tried to understand why she had informed him of her secretive motives whenever he wishes to know of something. If she was going to be secretive from the start, why would she warn him of it first… unless she really was going to come clean and say that she no longer has anything to do with the Imperial Army, she had once served so loyally… okay that's a lie. He shook his head. Loyally was never the word for it. For her to go against the republican army without as much as a reasonable explanation, obviously there was no forgiving her for that, unless she does actually have a reason behind it… but what could it be.

"By the expression you're wearing, I can tell that you actually wish to know the secrets that I hide from you." He nodded his head, for some unknown reason he was unable to trust his voice. "Well, although I know that me clearly keeping secrets enables to not to trust me further, although you don't already, but you need to know that everyone has to keep their own secrets, even despite the feelings of the person who wishes to know the secrets of the other. Just like you for example, I know that you hide secrets as well, otherwise your privacy would never exist in the first place."

Herman cleared his throat, covering it with his fist, before looking deep into her eyes to see that the sincerity was there. No matter how much he looked within those deep dark cold depths, he was unable to find what he was looking for. He was trying to find the lies within her eyes, to discover that she was willing to betray them, to find out her secrets of obedience to Gunter Prozen before she could perform the misdemeanours that she had within her, but her eyes were nothing of insolence but instead the upmost respect and the majority of her emotions that filled her eyes was nothing but truth and honesty, above most, innocence despite all the crimes she had once done.

Sapphire felt like gulping down the nerves that swelled at the back of her throat and turn to look elsewhere, but she held his intensifying gaze, unable to break the eye contact because she feared that he would take that the wrong one and see that she is feeling guilty of something. The only guilt she has was ever being in the army with Gunter Prozen, but the past cannot be retaken to prove the best for the future. Besides, she was sure that the future would be altered and that this event happening now would most likely not even happen. But she knew that fate brought her down this road, whether to teach her a lesson or to find something worthy and vulnerable to carve in her heart, she wasn't sure exactly, all she knows is that this was meant to happen, supposed to happen. Even if it wasn't, nothing can be undone.

"If you're going to stare all day, then maybe speaking to you was a waste of time after all." Before he could undo what he had done, she had already begun to speak. "Save the excuses and apologizes for latter, Herman, what I need to know is the questions you seek in order for me to prove that I am no longer with the Imperial army and that I willing to be with neither." Her eyes took on anger and her words may have turned calm, but there was malice and threats embedded within. "No matter how much I may be begged or pleaded, I will no longer join in this war. This isn't mine at all, I have my own battles to fight and I don't need to be helping others when I can't even help myself."

"So what you're telling me is that you're quitting a fight in the middle, before one side has won or lost?"

"Like it or not, want it or not, I will not deny that question. I will be quitting the fight in the middle, and it is extremely unlike me. However, I cannot help solve this battle if I am fighting my own. Besides, what lies between me and Rafael must be dealt with between the pair of us. I cannot involve others like what has been done before, and I mostly surprised at myself for involving others instead of Rafael, since he never likes it one on one, he rather likes to have more than a fair advantage, he prefers his numbers." Sapphire nodded, remembering all that she has known about Rafael in between now and that she has dreamed, although she has dreamed a little in advance.

Herman remained quiet, a little unlike him, Sapphire had concluded, but not entirely. When this man thinks, he thinks. He likes to have a decent evaluation before he could give his assumption on what he thinks of the matter, however, everyone has remained silent, and Sapphire only just noticed how the soldiers are finally looking at her without hate being their main emotion. She glanced to them, seeing them flinch and nearly step back, but instead of smiling out of their fear, she sighed heavily and glanced back to Herman who still seemed to be struggling with his summary. When he finally glanced down at her, a smile appeared and his complexion was filled with worry and totally unable to understand her situation, however, he did try to capture a glimpse of what she had been trying to explain.

"Alright, Herman, here's how it is." Sapphire declared, earning his attention in surprise. "I'm going to go and find Rafael, defeat him once and for all and I'll return before the end of the war, to aid a side I think is the rightful one. However, if I decide that this feud has gone on long enough, then I will make sure that there will be a compromise between the two and finally aid this conflictions. However, I will take down those who find it unworthy of this unity and I will make sure that this planet is kept under a good surveillance of peace. However, I will offer to start a group that will keep this stability and that will have high authority, above the two armies so that they can do what is right to keep this peace that has been built up hard and with effort. This group will only be built if I decide that I will go on my path to find out who I am and where I belong."

"So once this planet has been stabilized with peace, and when you decide to go on your journey, you're going to create a special group that has the maximum authority, ones who will not abuse the power, to see to it that the peace has been kept, and that those who will try to knock that peace away will be punished for their actions?" Herman confirmed, stroking his chin and then seeing that Sapphire nodded her head in confirmation too. But when Herman looked into her eyes once more, he couldn't help but notice the fiery rage that was burning in them. Such eyes, harsh, deep, dark cold depths were brightened by the fuel of her anger, the man, Rafael, and her personal feelings towards that red haired man, could it be that she was completely moving towards him, chasing after him, all because she was in hatred? He wasn't able to tell by description alone, but he knew that she was going down the path of vengeance.

"My feelings cut deep into me, Imperial Soldier, but I don't need anyone to tell me that my planned actions shouldn't be taken." She turned away, eyes dropped into sadness. But it was understanding that caused her to be like this, not sadness. "I know my actions are reckless and dangerous, but I need to go down this path. Although I seek revenge against that man, I will not defeat him out of vengeance my heart needs fulfilling." She turned back to him. "I am not doing justice for myself; I am justifying this world instead, cleansing it from his existence before he soils it with his rotten atmosphere.

"You seem to have thought this through." He stroked his chin and thought for a minute or two before addressing her again. "Alright, I know I cannot guarantee a promise from you that you will help after you've gotten rid of this guy, but I will keep your backup in mind." His smile was gentle and warm, more trusting and enough evidence showing that he was willing to give her a chance, well more than a little bit of a chance. Seeing this upon her once adversary's face, she couldn't help but be shocked about it and her eyes sparkles in hope for herself and others yet. She changed her expression into a smile, and she nodded.