Chapter 37

Noi Siamo Uno

Jarlaxle picked out a nice, clean restaurant with murals on the walls two blocks from the marketplace. They ate traditional Lapaliyan fare, enjoying a version of the casseroles they had had once before, with a new selection of soups. Jarlaxle ordered a custard for dessert and convinced Artemis to share it with him.

Entreri found the custard to be decent. More than anything, he was appreciating food without the evil aura.

Jarlaxle was unwound enough at this point to seriously consider his sexual options. He wanted a quiet room that was not seedy, at least two hours in which to fully ease in and ease out, and a private bathroom to wash up in afterwards that had hot water to soak in. In terms of the main event, he considered giving Artemis oral pleasure, or - maybe and - intercourse.

Daydreams of both helped him explore each option while he found the appropriate setting.

With Artemis' silent agreement, an inn was settled on, and a room procured. Jarlaxle inspected the room, laying traps to guard windows and doors, and then stood in the middle of the room to inspect his handiwork: one ordinary, square room with a bed made up in white. The white made it easy to ascertain cleanliness. Jarlaxle made sure the bed was spotless and the mattress comfortable.

Finally satisfied, he turned to Artemis. "What do you think, Mrannd'ssinss?"

"I think it's ridiculous that we're currently lodged somewhere that requires us to take our pleasures elsewhere," Entreri said. "Other than that, I think it suits."

Jarlaxle grinned. "I agree. But I am grateful for the ability to escape." He crossed over to Entreri and gently kissed the assassin's lips.

Entreri wrapped Jarlaxle in his arms and met the kiss, mouthing Jarlaxle's lips. It didn't take his body long to decide it was interested; he could already feel a faint stirring.

"Mmm..." Those slender, strong arms wrapping around him felt good. Jarlaxle nestled against Artemis, clinging to Artemis' waist, and mouthed the assassin's lips in return. Soon enough he closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the warm softness.

With a bit of tugging, Entreri managed to slip his hand under Jarlaxle's shirt and run it up and down his bare back. He didn't supposed he'd ever stop being fascinated by the feeling of Jarlaxle's warm, soft skin. He slipped his tongue into Jarlaxle's mouth, caressing and exploring.

Warmth flooded Jarlaxle at the touch of Artemis' hand against his bare skin. His mouth opened in a moan, and Artemis took full advantage of the opportunity. He panted, trading caresses with Artemis' tongue, savoring the sensation of the assassin exploring his mouth.

When the kiss was over, he gasped faintly. "I think we should remove our clothing if we wish to be in a presentable condition afterwards."

Entreri snorted. "I suppose so." He released Jarlaxle and then stripped himself bare in short order.

Jarlaxle admired the view, then took off his clothes in return. He tossed his hat onto the nightstand with jaunty flair and crossed his arms behind his head. "My mrannd'ssinss, would you prefer to be inside of me tonight or for me to give you pleasure with my mouth? I have decided both options to hold significant appeal to me."

Given Artemis' behavior so far, he finally felt comfortable in being straightforward.

Entreri thought that was a hell of a choice to have to make. He paused as he considered the two options. Both ideas made him hard, and both acts would likely cause some emotional stripping as well. However, he realized he actually had a preference. "Inside you."

A smile grew on Jarlaxle's face. "I, as well, desire you there." He padded across the floor and turned down the bed, then climbed in and lay on his side. He patted the mattress.

By now he had also learned there would be foreplay, and he was growing to desire it as well as expect it.

Entreri climbed into the bed. Despite having done this once before, he was still a touch nervous. When they were naked together, sharing pleasure with each other, there were no walls or barriers left between them. He wasn't sure how it had turned out that way, but it had. Making love with Jarlaxle was like seeing into each other's souls.

He wrapped one arm around Jarlaxle again and nuzzled his neck, placing kisses on the warm skin.

"Mmm." Jarlaxle whimpered and lifted his head, allowing Artemis more access. He slid their bodies together until he was comfortable and wound one leg around Artemis'. The kisses tingled warmly, making him harder, and he felt a little wetness welling up on his tip. They had disrobed just in time.

Entreri's hand traveled down to Jarlaxle's bottom, stroking and cupping it. At the same time, he kissed his way up Jarlaxle's throat. When he reached his ear, he whispered, "What position did you want to use tonight?"

Jarlaxle panted, breathing hard at the tickling breath on his ear and the warm arousal of Artemis' hand on his bottom. He was fully hard. "I wanted you to hold me like you did last time." There was nothing like being held fiercely in Artemis' arms while their bodies gently interlocked.

He leaked at the memory. "You could sit with your legs crossed and I could sit down in your lap, lowering myself onto you as I go. Then you could hold me closely."

And say those things I can't understand that sound so beautiful. Jarlaxle repeated the mysterious Alzhedo phrases to himself, even not knowing what they meant.

Entreri nibbled the rim of Jarlaxle's ear. "Very well." He licked up to the point, tracing the graceful curve.

Jarlaxle let out a wobbly moan at the nibbles and cried out at the licking, arching his back and leaking. "Artemis, you...the point of my...ear feels so good." He clung to Artemis' waist.

Entreri enveloped the point of Jarlaxle's ear with his mouth, sucking gently. He had no idea why Jarlaxle had trusted him with his body this way, especially to the point of penetrating him, but he lost himself in the sensations, swept away by the moans.

Jarlaxle cried out with every sucking motion, brought to the point of leaking uncontrollably. His nipples were hard, and he felt his entrance tingling and twitching. His desire for Artemis there grew. His erection ached with it. "Artemis...Bwaela..."

Entreri pulled back, although he resumed stroking Jarlaxle's bottom. He thought he'd heard a plea buried in his name. "Do you want to move on?"

"Yes..." Jarlaxle shook from the mingled pleasure and need. The tips of his ears throbbed pleasantly. "If I wait I won't be able to kneel long enough to do this."

Entreri nodded. "I assume you have oil or something similar in your hat."

Jarlaxle grinned. "Yes. A vial of scented oil. It should smell like roses. Now that you can use my hat, you can retrieve it for me." He kissed Artemis' lips softly.

Entreri released Jarlaxle and searched his hat, finding the vial of oil. He uncorked it and held it out to Jarlaxle. "I assume you'd like to be the one to spread it on me."

Jarlaxle nodded. He got up on his knees. His legs were very warm, but not yet limp. With a deep breath to clear his mind for the task, Jarlaxle took the vial of oil and uncorked it, then worked slick fingers over Artemis' erection. He stroked, caressed, and teased, until Artemis was leaking and glistening. "Beautiful."

Entreri felt his breaths coming quickly; he was nearly panting from Jarlaxle's ministrations. The nervousness had faded, leaving only the desire to fuse with Jarlaxle. It wasn't so much lust as another, nameless need. He didn't question it.

Jarlaxle wiped his hand on the edge of the bed and corked the bottle. He helped Artemis get into position, leaning against the headboard with pillows for support, and knelt over Artemis' lap. He caught Artemis' lips in a sensuous kiss, slow and savoring. At the same time, he gently supported Artemis' erection and lowered himself until Artemis' pulsing tip was against his entrance. He moaned into Artemis' mouth.

Entreri was infinitely more comfortable with this knowing that Jarlaxle was controlling the speed of penetration. Jarlaxle wouldn't hurt himself. He returned the kiss, supporting Jarlaxle by putting his hands on his hips, and leaked at the thought of what would come next.

Jarlaxle focused in on the hands on his hips. Artemis' strong hands supporting him. He moaned into Artemis' mouth again and slowly used his weight and gravity to slide Artemis' tip inside of him. The pulse of pleasure and heat made him gasp, breaking the kiss. "Artemis! Oh..." He flexed his hands on Artemis' shoulders. His core fluttered. His body remembered Artemis and wanted the pleasure to come.

His tip tingled wildly and throbbed. Jarlaxle couldn't take it for very long. He lowered himself down onto Artemis another two inches. "Ah...my mrannd'ssinss...so good..." Until this moment, Jarlaxle hadn't realized now much he had missed this feeling. A strange...desperation, almost, flooded his being.

Entreri gasped, Jarlaxle's tightness and heat overwhelming him. His erection throbbed, seeming to almost keep time with his pounding heart. He realized he needed to feel Jarlaxle this way, and he unconsciously squeezed his fingers on his hips.

"Ah!" Jarlaxle threw his head back and moaned deeply at the way his entire body pulsed with heat. The visceral understanding of Artemis' possessiveness did it; somehow the squeezing of Artemis' fingers on his hips touched a part of him he hadn't known, a part of him that wanted to feel a sense of belonging to someone. Not a desire to be enslaved. Nothing like that. It was something much less obvious, something more complicated, seemingly impossible, contradictory.

He whimpered, his erection twitching, wetness welling up and sliding down sensitive skin. "I desire you." That was all he could say. With a gasping sob, Jarlaxle slid Entreri inside of him, slowly and smoothly coming to sit on Artemis' lap. His erection throbbed.

Entreri gasped sharply at the way Jarlaxle's body suddenly enveloped him, then moaned. The tightness and heat surrounded him, making him throb and pulse. "Ah, gods..." He felt something in that moment - a primal need, a passion, a possessiveness - and couldn't even begin to express it. He found himself cupping Jarlaxle's bottom, his fingers brushing where their bodies connected, and squeezing gently. Do it, take it, make us... His thoughts tumbled away from him, incomplete.

Jarlaxle rested against Artemis, consumed with the feeling of Artemis inside him. It felt like much more than the physical fact of their interlocked bodies. The feeling flooded through him, to the tips of his fingers, tingling on his tongue, to the air that he breathed. I desire you. But those words could no longer evoke the entire experience. They paled against the actual rush of feeling.

He was barely conscious of clinging to Artemis' waist. "What is...'Ho bisogno di te'?" He pronounced the words carefully, breathless in his arousal.

Entreri's heart jumped at hearing the words repeated back to him. He wrapped his arms around Jarlaxle's waist, holding him closely. "'I need you,'" he whispered against Jarlaxle's ear. Having to say the words again made a powerful sensation wash through him, and he kissed his ear.

Jarlaxle's heart skipped with a thud so strong it was almost painful. For that moment, he couldn't breathe. Then he buried his face against Artemis' neck and moaned, his eyes burning. The sentiment was so un-drow that he couldn't have thought of it himself. To say to someone in Menzoberranzan 'I need you' was to die. So many layers of conditioning and survival prevented him from speaking the words, even if he could have had the blasphemous, suicidal thought.

But he grabbed the words desperately. "Ho bisogno di te, Artemis. Ho bisogno di te."

In Alzhedo, it was something beautiful.

Artemis felt something incredibly painful and incredibly beautiful explode through his chest as Jarlaxle said the words in return. The powerful of it was so exponential that he felt tears sting his eyes. "Yes," he gasped. "Yes." He moved then, using his hands to help lift Jarlaxle's hips, and rocked gently into his body. The moan that was torn from him was deep and aching.

Jarlaxle sobbed, heat cracking through him. His back arched sharply. "Yes...move in me..." The unrestrained pleasure made his entire body relax, his legs go limp.

Entreri felt the connection again - the wordless connection, more than physical, reaching through them to their very souls. He wasn't sure what it was or what it meant, much less how they'd created it. But it was there, like a line connecting them. He wanted to wrap Jarlaxle in his arms, but he was too limp to let go of, so he kept his hands on his hips. "Buona," he whispered to Jarlaxle, then translated: "Good..."

"Buona...?" Jarlaxle's eyelids fluttered. He realized he had closed his eyes at some point. "Bwaela...buona..." The words had a kind of synergy. Their languages seemed to meet, to share this meaning. Bliss flowed through him.

Entreri was also struck by the sound of the words together. He pressed another kiss to Jarlaxle's ear, gently rolling his hips into Jarlaxle's. The smooth, tight heat surrounded him, encompassed him, and he moaned softly. He remembered the other words he had spoken to Jarlaxle, and he repeated them breathlessly. "Siete dentro di me...You are within me." It was true before; it was true now.

Jarlaxle let out a watery moan, heat rising to his cheeks and burning there. "Artemis...Bwaela...Siete dentro di me." This kind of talk he was more familiar with. "Dosst we'ha zhah wu'suul uns'aa," he said teasingly. The pleasure and arousal built in him until he felt energized rather than lulled. He sat up straighter of his own volition and wrapped his arms around Artemis' shoulders, kissing and nibbling Artemis' jaw.

His ears tingled, and he grinned. "Your manhood is inside of me." But he realized as he said it that the words were inadequate. "Dosst dro," he amended, his expression softening. "Your lifeforce is inside of me. Dosst dro zhah wu'suul uns'aa."

Entreri relaxed at the final words. That was what he had meant, even if he wasn't quite sure how to say it. "Yes," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around Jarlaxle, holding him closely. "Yes, precisely." He realized he would've been upset if Jarlaxle had misunderstood.

Jarlaxle's eyes widened at Artemis' response. Then an unnamed feeling swept through him. "My Bwaela..." He pressed slow, meaningful kisses to Artemis' neck. A wave of embarrassment at his initial misunderstanding mingled with his fascination and affection. I am inside of you? How do you feel me? What do I feel like?

Artemis' gentle rocking hit a special spot inside of him, and he moaned sharply. "How does one say life? Your life?"

"Tua vita," Entreri murmured, curious at the question. He caressed Jarlaxle's back as they gently rocked together, his neck tingling from the kisses even as his erection throbbed from the sound of Jarlaxle's sharp moan.

Jarlaxle panted and moaned, his legs shivering. "Artemis..." He tried to piece the right words together. "Tua vita...dentro di me..."

Entreri understood the message, even if the wording was off. "Yes," he whispered. "Noi siamo uno... We are one." He drew Jarlaxle into a kiss, moaning into his mouth, letting the words pass between them without over-analyzing them. He accepted the moment and held the implications at bay. In this, they were one.

Jarlaxle moaned in return. The foreign idea swept over him, tingled on his skin. He mouthed Artemis' lips, slipped his tongue into Artemis' mouth and lost himself in the pleasure of trading caresses, of being gently pleasured deep inside, knowing in the back of his mind that he didn't truly understand the words yet. Noi siamo uno...?

It had been Artemis himself who had accused Jarlaxle of not knowing basic math during his struggle with Crenshinibon, and yet the assassin presented this contradictary, impossible idea.

Contradictary...impossible...

Is this what I feel? Is this what I felt before?

Jarlaxle felt himself trembling. The kiss ended, leaving him gasping. He reached up and cupped Artemis' face, looked into Artemis' eyes. "N...Noi...siamo...uno?" His mind felt as though it were being tied into knots, and yet, he almost understood.

I...I cannot!

He pushed past the fear. No. I will not be beaten by my past experiences. My past does not define me. I am the only person who has the right to define me. My will is the will by which I live.

For a brief moment, he imagined being one with Artemis, being so truly joined that he saw himself in Artemis and Artemis in himself. Not interdependent. Not mutually beneficial association. To be so connected that Artemis' pain was his. To be killed by Artemis' death with the agony of it.

Terrifying.

And yet, Jarlaxle turned his mind away from the negative aspects of it and tried to understand the good parts. What would he gain? What could he gain?

A completely indispensable place in Artemis Entreri's life, in which Artemis could no more consider leaving him than the assassin could consider cutting off his own legs?

The desire Artemis' possessive touch ignited burst through Jarlaxle, clarified and strengthened by this imagination. Jarlaxle felt the unnameable feeling from before merge with this, identify itself as another half to the whole. His body burned. A sudden, hysterical certainty surged through him. I'll die if I don't get this! I have to be irreplaceable!

All of this passed in the space of five seconds looking within Artemis' eyes.

"Noi siamo uno, Artemis!" Jarlaxle kissed him deeply.

Entreri was amazed to hear the words repeated back to him, and when Jarlaxle did, their impact intensified. We...could be one? Truly? He had expressed a feeling about this moment more than a desire for all of life, and the very core of his being split. He had always been alone; he needed to be alone. He hated being alone; he wanted someone to fuse with. He had been drowning before, but he knew he couldn't accept a life without Jarlaxle now. He met the kiss. He wouldn't take it back.

Jarlaxle's hips almost imperceptibly nudged their pace faster, and he lost himself in the kiss, needing to taste, to explore and savor and bring pleasure. His heart was beating fast and hard.

Entreri moaned into the kiss, his hips speeding up to match Jarlaxle's. He understood he could have only ever found this with an equal, and it made all the difference. He held Jarlaxle tightly, his hips speeding up a bit further, and let the moans pour out.

Jarlaxle moaned, and then wailed, his sounds of pleasure picking up force as the pleasure came faster. "Buona! Bwaela!" He clutched Artemis as tightly as he could and came, orgasming with so much force that his whole body jerked.

Jarlaxle's intense pleasure coupled with the feeling of his body clenching down on Entreri, making him come as well. His hips jerked into Jarlaxle's, and he clung to him as they orgasmed. The world and all its problems seemed far away in that moment, and Entreri let it all rush away from him, inhabiting a universe only with Jarlaxle.

Jarlaxle whimpered at the pleasure of feeling Artemis coming with him, and by the time they were through, he felt dizzy, wet with sweat and other things, and so warm he could pass out on the spot. So comfortable...

Entreri slumped back onto the pillows, bringing Jarlaxle with him. "Buona," he whispered in agreement. He felt like an incredibly lucky man to have discovered this new, nameless world with Jarlaxle.

Happiness washed through Jarlaxle at being snuggled up against Entreri. Being completely unable to move was beside the point. "My Artemis," Jarlaxle whispered, trying it out. Mine. The words had a different meaning than they had before. He felt a strong pulse of something in his chest. Am I yours?

What a foreign thought.

Entreri made a small sound in his throat, almost like a brief hum. He would've never let anyone say those words to him before, but coming from Jarlaxle's lips, they seemed fine. Normal, even. They had promised not to be with others, after all. He found the strength to raise his arm and stroke down Jarlaxle's back.

Jarlaxle squeezed his eyes shut and basked in the strong emotions Artemis' touch evoked. I have it. What I always wanted. The thought startled him, but he knew it was true. To be indispensable had been his hunger for as long as he could remember. Since the day he had learned as a small child that all males were dispensable, he had vowed that he would find a way. A way to matter. A way that no one could get rid of him. Bregan D'aerthe had grown out of that desire, but it wasn't enough. He had forged a relationship with his mother, braving social taboos and life-threatening danger to do so, but it wasn't enough.

This was enough.

He could feel it filling him up, easing that hunger that had secretly motivated so many of his decisions, fueled so many risks. Knowing what it was like not to be hungry that way made this moment a turning point in his life. Jarlaxle had lived centuries; he knew a turning point when he came to one. This was an event that would send him down a different path.

Now that he had tasted being indispensable, he was never giving it up.

"There is an ancient artifact," Jarlaxle said suddenly. His thoughts connected before he consciously noticed. "I have been tracking its path for a decade. If - when - I can find it, this artifact will be yours, Bwaela. I have decided: It is destined for you."

"Oh?" Entreri murmured. He was immune to Jarlaxle's sudden topic changes, or in this case, the topic that popped out of nowhere.

"Yes. It is a bracer. Time has sifted it through many places, but I believe - I hope - that it is once more in the land of Algarond." Jarlaxle could see it in his mind's eye, he had read so many descriptions. "The bracer is made of gold, lined with leather on the inside. It bears the symbol of a sun. The sun is actually a variation of the symbol of Erevan Ilesere. His symbol is normally a starburst; however, he is known as the Chameleon, so it is not surprising that an artifact crafted with his approval would not bear a standard mark."

Jarlaxle pulled himself back and started at the beginning. "Erevan Ilesere is the patron god of rogues in the elven pantheon. He is famous for playing tricks and encourages his follows to do the same. The story goes that an elf and a human fell in love, and he wished to take his love to a party. But the elven community shunned human contact. So he created a bracer that, when worn, would disguise his love as one of his kind. Through clever trickery on the part of the elf and the human, she attended the party and successfully passed herself off as an elf. As a reward, Erevan Ilesere blessed the bracer, and increased its power exponentially. Instead of granting the appearance of an elf, it granted its wearer the lifespan of an elf."

Entreri understood the connection, then. "So you wish for me to have it. I'll gain the lifespan of an elf, and we can live out ridiculously long lives together." It wasn't hard to see where Jarlaxle's logic was headed. He really couldn't imagine being alive for centuries, but he understood Jarlaxle's motivation.

Jarlaxle smiled wryly. "If I can find it. Supposedly the lady of the story was laid to rest like an elf, in an elven vault. However, the temptation for others was too great, and human graverobbers made off with it. This inspired a centuries long pattern: followers of Erevan Ilesere would retrieve the bracer, only to have it stolen from them again. It is unclear whether this was with the blessing of Ereven Ilesere or not."

He sighed. "In any case, the last place I traced it to was Narfell. It was briefly in the possession of Gilmar Horroden, an evil priest. Narfell was destroyed by the machinations of his people, and the record of what happened to the bracer was not clear."

The talking helped clear Jarlaxle's head. He shifted slightly and squeezed Artemis' waist. "I hope the bracer has been returned to Algarond, because if it hasn't, we are going to have to fight through Narfell to get it. The crypts of Narfell are exceptionally dangerous. By exceptionally dangerous, I mean that the locals wait for adventurers to trigger ancient traps and then move in to loot the bodies."

"Sounds wonderful," Entreri said dryly. "Let's be sure to miss it."

Jarlaxle chuckled and kissed his lips.

Entreri stroked his back in response. His body was slowly returning to normal, although he felt sleepy.

"I had to use my imagination to understand the story at the time that I read it," Jarlaxle said softly. "Now I know what it is to want someone not to be separated from me, and to want it badly enough that I would allow a god to intervene."

Entreri tried not to think too hard about that last part. He pressed a kiss to Jarlaxle's forehead. "I can't imagine what it will mean to live for centuries - how it will feel, what will happen, how things will change. But I do understand not wanting to be separated. I don't want that to happen to either of us."

Jarlaxle knew he was pushing Artemis Entreri a long way in a short time. He was grateful for Artemis' willingness and bravery. To come out of one's shell was frightening. Even with someone trusted, it could feel like suicide. But Artemis was willing to be with him.

He smiled and buried his face against Artemis' neck. "Bwaela. Dos ph'farjali. You are precious. Farjali." A term most drow only applied to gemstones and gold, he easily applied to Artemis.

Entreri knew his comprehension was being outstripped, but he didn't try to contain it. Understanding would come if he let it all sink in on its own. "Amato," he whispered, trying it out. He stroked Jarlaxle's new hair. "Beloved." Dangerous, he thought, but the word was smoke and air. He it let drift out into the room.

Jarlaxle shivered, stunned at the new words that came out of Artemis' mouth. He hugged Artemis tightly. Could I be truly beloved? By anybody? That word had so many human connotations, so many Surface connotations, that he couldn't hope to ever have. To be tolerated, respected, and befriended, those things were possible. But to be treasured the way Surface dwellers treasured each other...

He found he was getting dangerously emotional.

Being beloved by his mother was not at all the same as being beloved by a non-drow. Drow had certain limits to how far their love could go. Even in cases where it was felt, it was put in a box, lest it become a dangerous influence.

The people of the Surface seemed to rush headlong into that danger and savor it, even defend their right to be endangered. Their emotion and what they did with it was so far beyond Jarlaxle's understanding that he sometimes despaired of understanding that element of collective culture.

And now Artemis Entreri was demonstrating a theory Jarlaxle had held for a long time: underneath it all, Artemis spoke a common language with others of the Surface, a common understanding of correct behavior, and a common way of interpreting emotions.

Jarlaxle had hoped someday he could coax those emotions out, but he had never imagined doing so without the help of another surface dweller. He had imagined fostering friendships between Artemis and other human beings, so that they could go off together and speak their common language; as the assassin had with Dwahvel.

Now he was being invited. If the situation were not so important, Jarlaxle would have been amused that this first reaction was stage fright. "Amato. Beloved." Tears came to his eyes at saying the word. There was an involuntary punch of emotion. "I wish very much to be your Amato." Alzhedo was once again safer than Common.

Entreri wondered how he'd gotten the word past his lips, but it was there. It had been recognized and accepted. He understood, though, that they were both in a world they didn't understand. "We'll find our way," he murmured. "Together."

Jarlaxle relaxed at that. He took a shaky breath and raised his head to give Artemis a smile. "I am certain we will find our way."

Then he lightly added, "Noi siamo uno." It felt wonderful to finally have words for the feeling inside when he was with Artemis.

Entreri felt the smile steal onto his lips. "Yes."

Jarlaxle grinned and leaned in, kissing Artemis gently. "Now, we must bathe, before we become stuck together in a compromising position."

Entreri snorted. "I suppose you're right."

Jarlaxle climbed off of the assassin and out of bed with difficulty, his legs still half numb. He held out his hand.

Entreri took the offered hand and climbed off the bed as well, heading into the bathroom with Jarlaxle.