Chapter Thirty-Seven: A Life Divided
Saelind was starting to get a headache.
After Mori had been taken away, Haruhi had pulled her off the dance floor before she could attempt to 'mingle' with everyone like her brother had wanted. She'd been forced backstage to wait with all the other contestants for the Switcher Party talent show. However, during the ordeal of sitting backstage, her migraine had begun to form. Mostly because the last three people who had been called up on stage had been so talent-less that she'd wanted to hide under a rock.
Even worse, she was currently stuck sitting between the Hitachiin twins, and both of them kept nudging her and continuously asked her this and that in ridiculously girlish lady-boy voices. It was pissing her off to no end, and the fact that they KNEW as much and STILL continued doing it irritated her. However, throughout the entire ordeal with the gingers, she had noticed that Honey was sitting directly across from her. And for some weird reason that she couldn't seem to figure out, he was sulking and shooting unhappy expressions at her. So, after the twins were called onto the stage, the Russian girl turned and gave the blonde boy a highly puzzled look.
"You know, normally I wouldn't bother asking, but this has been going on for a while now," she sighed, shaking her head, "so... what's wrong, Honey?"
"You didn't want to dance with me," the blonde boy grumbled, looking at her with a pout, "but you danced with Takeshi. Do you hate me, Sael-chan?"
The girl quirked an eyebrow and gave him a half-lidded stare.
"Of course I hate you. In fact, for the most part, I hate everyone... just, some less than others," Saelind scoffed, rolling her eyes and pointedly ignoring how the blonde's eyes clouded over in confusion. "And I meant what I said: If Mr. Tall, Dark, and Crazy hadn't forced me out there against my will, I wouldn't have set foot on that dance floor. I didn't really have a choice. I told him no, and he pulled me out there."
"Really?" Honey asked, giving her a strange look. "Takeshi wouldn't do something like that."
"Well, he did," the girl grumbled, sourly folding her arms before she stiffened and turned bright red when she remembered the change in his attitude. "Creep. He had to have been drunk or something... I swear, I wasn't kidding when I said I smelled alcohol on his breath."
"What do you mean by alcohol...?" the blonde asked, staring at her blankly. "Takeshi can't drink because he's..."
Before he could finish the sentence, he stiffened like a washboard and his face sharpened in a way that Saelind wasn't used to seeing.
Or even Haruhi, for that matter, since she had just started making her way over when his expression changed.
Setting Usa-chan down and leaping to his feet, the blonde boy tore past a group of waiting contestants and ran out of the room, leaving behind a blinking girl who had no idea what to think. After a moment, Saelind shrugged and turned slightly in her seat to stare at the stage. After seeing a flash of red hair spinning around, however, the girl blinked in surprise: the twins were dancing across the floor with each other in a beautiful form of ballet, which was wowing everyone around them.
"Figures," Saelind sighed, wondering if her measly songs would be able to even get a passing grade. "They know ballet."
"They're actually quite the dancers," Tamaki explained, pausing for a second as he looked at the stage; suddenly he turned to look at Haruhi, eyes bright. "Speaking of which... Haruhi, will you dance with me tonight?"
"Of course, Sempai," the girl confirmed, giving him one of her charming smiles. "Why wouldn't I?"
Tamaki's eyes widened and his face flamed bright red.
"W-well, then," he stammered, getting to his feet and patting his cheeks. "I... I need to use the... powder room."
When he tottered off, Haruhi sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Oh, senpai," she murmured, shaking her head.
Unfortunately, immediately after that, the twins bowed and walked off the stage as wild applause filled the air.
Saelind heard someone announcing the next person to go, and she let out a sigh of dismay.
"How am I supposed to do this?" she muttered, shaking her head in dismay. "Am I just supposed to make a song up and sing it? Or can I pick one?"
Truthfully, she didn't really want to sing, especially in front of so many people.
Aside from her athleticism and smarts, she really didn't have any talents aside from singing and cooking.
And since cooking couldn't help her in this situation, she could only count on singing to be the one route that wouldn't lead to an embarrassing failure. After a moment, Saelind glanced up and stared at the clock in dismay: she only had half an hour left to think of a song, and she hadn't even manage to think of one good one. The whole dance had been spent like this… she couldn't think of a song that fit her personality, emotions, or even represented how she felt. Her brother could obviously tell how unnerved she was when he came over, because the first question out of his mouth when he sat down was the one she was dreading.
"Lindy, did you find a song yet…?" Saelvan asked, giving her a pointed expression. "I really hope you did. Apparently, there are a lot of girls who are looking forward to seeing your costume and witnessing your talent."
"Jerk, you already know I haven't found a song," Saelind snapped, angrily burying her face in her hands. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do!"
"When in doubt," the boy murmured, touching her shoulder until she glanced up at him, "use a memory to fuel your talent for creating lyrics. Or just sing the first song that comes to mind, okay? It doesn't have to be perfect... it could be completely random. Just sing whatever comes to mind, and put your heart into it. You're going on last, so you'll have to do your best. Don't become least."
With that, he walked away and Saelind closed her eyes, feeling her heart pounding rapidly: the event was being held on a stage. She was going to be singing in front of everybody… every person who had ever called her ugly, and every person who had seen her in the Host club, She would be in the one place she hated the most... the spotlight. The girl shivered as a breeze swept through the backstage area, feeling tendrils of her long hair billowing in the soothing wind.
Wait...
Wind...?
Saelind's eyes snapped open in surprise.
There shouldn't be a breeze in here, she realized, looking around with a blink. There are no windows, and the only door I can see is shut tight.
Shivering slightly, the girl looked around a little longer, ignoring everyone chatting nearby.
It wasn't until she saw the shadow in the corner that everything around her fell silent: she froze, hair standing on end when the dark blob became clear and she saw tendrils of long black hair. She tilted her head to the side, staring at the figure with a startled teal eye as it stood there... unmoving. It was obviously a girl... that much she could tell, since the figure was wearing a dress with bits of pink on the front.
However, the apparition was oddly flat and colorless.
"What the fuck?" the girl whispered, closing her eyes and rubbing them. "I'm seeing things again... ugh."
After counting to ten, Saelind hesitantly opened her eyes and glanced around only to find that the creepy figure had vanished.
"Are you all right, Saelind?" Haruhi asked, glancing away from Tamaki's performance with an air of concern. "You're white as a sheet."
"I'm fine," the girl grunted, giving her a glare. "Don't worry so much, you weirdo."
Haruhi rolled her eyes and shrugged, but she let it go. Time and time again, Saelind heard wild applause and cheering coming from the crowd, and each time the announcements drew her closer to the event that was terrifying her. Finally, after a particularly loud applause for a comedy skit created by a boy in her very own class, Saelvan's name was called. Saelind watched her twin with a curious eye when he walked out and took his place in front of the microphone.
Then he lifted a hand, ran it through his long hair, and tossed his tresses outwards in a feminine manner.
"Hello, everyone," he called, smiling when several people cheered. "Tonight, I want to tell you all a story. It's more of a poem, really, and it's about someone I'm very, very close to. I hope you enjoy it."
"Go for it, Van-chan!" a girl squealed from somewhere in the back. "Good luck!"
"He was twelve years old and surrounded by people who used to say that rhyme about sticks and stones," Saelvan softly began, voice echoing throughout the room. "As if broken bones hurt more than the names he got called. And he got called them all. So he grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with him, that he'd be lonely forever, that he'd never meet someone to make him feel like the sun was something they built for him in their tool shed."
Saelind slowly tensed and stared at her brother in disbelief, because the litany he was reciting was definitely centered around her history.
"What are you doing, idiot?" she hissed, smacking a hand against her forehead. "I'm gonna kick the shit out of you later."
"Broken heart strings bled the blues as he tried to empty himself, so he would feel nothing," Saelvan continued, voice beginning to fill with passion. "Don't tell me that it hurts less than a broken bone! That an ingrown life is something surgeons can cut away! That there's no way for it to metastasize! To this day, he is a stick on TNT lit from both ends! He could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends in the moments before it's about to fall! And despite an army of friends who all called him an inspiration, he was a conversation piece between people who didn't understand."
"This is so sad..." a girl whispered. "Who do you think it's about?"
"I don't know, but it's so poetic," her friend whispered back. "If Saelvan were a boy, I'd totally date her."
"Sometimes," the Russian boy murmured, closing his eyes when everyone focused on him again, "becoming cold has less to do with trust and more to do with sanity. But I want to tell him, that all of this shit is just debris... leftover when he finally decided to smash all the things he thought he used to be. And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there's something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit."
By this point, there were girls in the audience with their hands clutched together and tears in their eyes.
The boy was speaking with passion in his eyes, voice loud and clear.
"You built a cast around your broken heart, and signed it yourself," he proudly exclaimed, beating his chest before he made a show of wincing. "You signed it, 'they were wrong' because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a clique. Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything. Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show and tell, but never told. Because how can you hold your ground if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it?"
Why is he doing this to me? Saelind wondered blankly, staring at her brother as the world turned hazy. I don't want to remember all of this.
"You have to believe that they were wrong..." he continued, turning his head and looking straight at her. "They have to be wrong. Why else would you still be here? I grew up learning to cheer on the underdog, because I see myself in him. We are graduating members from the class of 'fuck off! we made it', not the faded echoes of voices crying out 'names will never hurt me'. Of course they did. They hurt a lot."
"Stop it..." Saelind muttered, mouth tightening when her brother's gaze sharpened. "End it right there."
"But his life will only ever always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain," he quietly finished, "and more to do with the beauty within."
Silence reigned free for a long time.
Then people started cheering wildly, and the person running the show came out.
"That was a wonderful performance!" he cheered, clapping as he took the microphone. "You've earned my vote!"
Saelind took that opportunity to stand up since the time had come: she was irritated now, but she was as ready as she could possibly be.
"And last, but definitely not least, is the mysterious transfer student from class 2-A," the announcer called loudly, eliciting a very surprised cheer. "Give a round of applause for this mystery beauty, Saelind Heseroph!"
Closing her eyes, Saelind slowly took a breath and tried to calm herself: everything inside her fell silent and she slipped into a daze. Then, after shooting a glance at Saelvan and Haruhi, the dark-haired girl slowly stepped out from behind the curtain and made her way forward. The cheers turned to gasps of surprise and squeals of total shock. Slowly stepping forward towards the microphone, the girl took it with a shaking hand and looked at the excited faces of the crowd
"I'm not very good at things like this," she stated in a detached voice, normal eye glazed over. "I really don't have many talents, but... well. Yeah. Enjoy, I guess."
So saying, she scoured her mind for a memory... and all of a sudden, she was hit with inspiration.
Thus, after unhooking the microphone, Saelind tossed her hair and stepped back, clutching the mic with both hands.
Then she opened her mouth... took a deep breath... and began to sing.
"I lie awake, got lost in time... " she trilled, vibrato filling the room with such a high, sweet tenor that mouths fell open everywhere, "I dream away so I can fly."
Salvan stood on the sidelines, tears filling his eyes simply because the sound of her voice was once again filling the air.
"So beautiful," he whispered, shaking his head... then he jumped in realization and ran over to the bag carrying his female clothes. "Oh, thank God! I can help!"
After digging around, he frantically pulled out an electric violin as well as an amp plug and hurried out onto the stage behind his sister with an air of grace fit for a king. Plugging his instrument into the speaker system that had been hooked up, he added a harmonious back-melody to his sister's song. Eyes widened all around when the twins really started getting into what they were doing.
"There are stones on my legs... I can't move aside!" Saelind belted out, staring out at something only she could see. "I've got a rock on my chest... so heavy in mind! It feels like I was dead... but I'm alive!"
"And I feel!" Saelvan belted out.
"The world is closing, but I love the good news," Saelind harmoniously clashed, striking against his voice and violin.
"And I feel!" the boy repeated.
"Time is running out," the girl trilled, stomping her foot in time with the beat, "but I'm still in touch with you..."
People started clapping in time with her tempo, and tense excitement began to charge the air like a thunderstorm as they waited for the girl to explode with her build-up.
Then, taking an enormous breath, the Heseroph twins belted out a gorgeous harmony.
"I wanna feel the sea!" the duo sang, creating a gorgeous vibration that filled the hall in perfect synchronicity. "I wanna the love inside of me! I wanna feel the breeze!"
"Drown in your beautiful waves!" Saelvan belted out. "Oh, let me drown in your sea!"
Once he finished, Saelind closed her eyes and started singing solo again.
"I watch the dust covering me... locked in a shell, I can't break free," she trilled, swaying back and forth. "Like a bird in a trap, willing to fly, I can't get up and away... from the storm in my mind. This must be the last day of my life!"
Several girls in the audience got goosebumps when her voice echoed in a haunting manner on the last word.
"And I feel!" Saelvan howled.
"The world is closing, but I love the good news," Saelind clashed, drawing out her brother's intervention.
"And I feel!" the boy cried a gain.
"My time is running out, but I'm still in touch with you... " the girl trilled, then arched her back and belted, "I wanna feel the sea! I wanna the love inside of me! I wanna feel the breeze!"
"Drown in your beautiful waves!" Saelvan sang, baton flying across his instrument, "oh, let me drown in your sea..."
When her brother went to work on his violin, Saelind flexed her muscles and arched her back, flinging her arms out only and forcing the animatronic wings to spread themselves wide. What she wasn't expecting, however, was for a cloud of sparkles to go flying from the feathers as the false appendages extended and flared outwards: she looked at the crowd with intense eyes when she opened her mouth again.
"I can live, I can die, I keep hanging on a lie!" Saelind sang clearly, closing her frigid teal eyes. "I can move, I can fly: with you everything's alright! I keep floating around through my head for all my life! I wanna feel the sea! I wanna feel the love inside of me! I wanna feel the breeze! Drown in your beautiful waves... oh, let me drown in your sea!"
"There are stones on my legs... I can't move aside!" Saelvan belted out, swaying back and forth as he played his violin. "I've got a rock on my chest... so heavy in mind! It feels like I was dead but I'm alive. And I feel,,, the world is closing but I'm not takin' off... and I feel that time is running out but I'm still in touch with you! I wanna feel the sea! I wanna the love inside of me! I wanna feel the breeze!"
"Drown in your beautiful waves..." Saelind sang softly, bringing the song to a close, "oh, let me drown in your sea..."
For several moments, nothing but total silence reigned free… but then… clapping… and weeping… and wailed excitement filled the air.
The applause created an uproar so loud that it forced everyone backstage to cover their ears.
And suddenly, everything around her dissolved and melted away.
"Let's give a big round of applause for Saelind Heseroph!" the boy in charge of the speakerphone exclaimed. "However, now is the time you've all been waiting for... that's right! You can now come up and smack some buttons to vote on who you think the Drag Queen of the Halloween Switcher Party should be!"
Saelind twitched and hastily backed away when the crowd excitedly shuffled forward, but after a moment she glanced at her brother and sighed, giving him a soft look of appreciation for the help he'd given her. After returning to the backstage area, however, she was unexpectedly swarmed by the members of the Host Club.
"That was awesome!" Haruhi stated firmly, giving her a broad smile. "I loved your performance! I wish I'd had a camera, because it really was impressive!"
"Yeah," the Hitachiin twins simultaneously stated. "It was really good."
"Where on earth did you learn how to play the violin so well, Sael-kun?" Tamaki asked, curiously eyeing the electronic instrument. "I must admit, I'm impressed."
"I was taught by a music teacher, where else?" the boy murmured, timidly sidling over to his sister. "It wasn't that big of a deal."
"Thanks a lot for the praise," Saelind sarcastically drawled, actually feeling somewhat giddy as she turned away from the Host Club. "Anyway, since I'm sure I didn't win, I need to get some fresh air. Thanks for the opportunity you all gave me... much as I don't want to admit it, I had fun for once."
"The pleasure was all ours," Kyouya said, giving her a small smirk when the others grinned. "You've earned a break."
Saelind gave him a less intense glare than usual before walking away and moving out into the dance room's courtyard.
Her shoes clicked against the cobblestone walkway and the breeze cooled her heated skin as she stared at the sky. It had been a very long time since she'd sang in front of a crowd like that. Back in elementary school, at least... but still, as weird as it was, it had fun experiencing the art of music for the first time in years. Although, her night of being a normal, somewhat pretty girl was going to come to an end soon... but as weird as it was, the knowledge of that was almost... relieving.
"Sometimes I don't get myself," she murmured aloud, lifting her gaze to the sky. "Still... everything that happened to us was... nice. And the sky is beautiful tonight."
It was true: the heavens were littered with silver stars and a bright full moon, and there wasn't even a single cloud to mar the sight.
Saelind grinned, feeling oddly giddy: she didn't know why, but she simply felt alive.
Humming quietly to herself, the raven-haired girl walked up to a fountain and sat down on its edge before gently running her right hand through the water.
The liquid felt pleasantly cool against her fingertips.
Slowly tilting her head back, Saelind stared at the moon, watching it with one eye as a breeze swept through her hair from behind.
Eye glazed and mind still somewhat detached, the girl began to sing quietly, feeling a little unhappy.
"Like a bird in a trap, willing to fly, I can't get up and away... from the storm in my mind," she hummed, closing her eyes with a sigh. "I wanna feel the breeze... I wanna feel the love inside of me... I wanna feel the sea. Drown in your beautiful waves... oh, let me drown in your sea."
Steps in the distance caught her attention, making her snap her mouth shut.
Upon lifting her gaze, her teal eyes met a pair of brown ones, but her heart turned cold with anger when she realized who she was looking at.
Ami.
The Asian brunette stared at her just as she was doing—but unlike Saelind's blank, expressionless face, her own expression was irritated and full of frustration.
When her former friend continued to stare at her with hostility, the Russian finally snapped.
"Why the hell are you glaring at me?" Saelind growled, cocking an eyebrow. "Better yet, why are you out here? Can't I even go an hour without you bothering me?"
Ami stood still as a statue, shaking with anger.
"You monster," the brunette spat, stomping forward with an enraged expression and leaning close to Saelind's face. "How DARE you sing that song?!"
Saelind's right eye twitched before her gaze sharpened dangerously.
"Excuse me?" Saelind retorted, getting to her feet with a snarl. "I swear to god, if you keep calling me a monster, I won't take responsibility for what I do to you. I'm not a monster, so back the fuck off! You have no right to talk to me, Kikiroshi, so go away."
"No! This time, you're the one who's in the wrong!" Ami shrieked, face turning bright red. "That was my mother's favorite song, and you KNEW that!"
"So?" Saelind deadpanned, cocking her hip with a 'wtf' expression. "Even if it was her favorite song, that's no reason to go psycho."
"I hate you," Ami hissed, not even realizing that Haruhi had just come outside. "I hate everything about you! Your personality, your attitude, and most of all, those disgusting scars! You're a freak, Saelind! What, did you really think that having one night to hide those revolting deformities on your face really changed how ugly you are? Bitch, please... trash will always be trash, even if you wash it with water and soap or make it look pretty. That won't ever change."
"Why hello, Pot!" Saelind stated in an overly kind voice, giving the girl a venomous expression, "I'm Kettle! Thank you for being a hypocrite by calling me black!"
"SHUT UP!" Ami screeched, stomping forward and shoving the smaller girl with all of her strength; Saelind threw her hands back for something, anything to catch her balance... but there was nothing to be found. The black-haired girl gasped and flailed her arms when she lost her balance; then she let out a shriek and flipped over the fountain railing, landing in the pond directly behind it. She instantly sat up and spluttered, hair falling across her face and electronic wings sparking.
"OW!" Saelind croaked, jerking her hands up and clawing at the metal on her head. "OW! OW! OW! IT'S SHOCKING ME!"
Letting out a snarl, the girl dragged the tiara off before frantically clawing at the bangles on her arms; then, muscles shaking, she struggled to get the soaked wings off of her body before throwing them on the ground. The electric-powered appendages sparked a few more times before falling still.
After a moment, Saelind looked down at herself before touching her face.
The dress she was wearing was completely drenched, and for all she knew, her make-up was probably coming undone because of the water.
"Serves you right," Ami sneered, leaning over the edge with a smirk. "You stole my mother's affection from me... but she will never, ever be your real mother."
However, when the girl turned around, she wasn't expecting to come face-to-face with a girl who looked just as angry as Saelind felt.
Before anyone could blink, Haruhi drew her hand back and slapped Ami across the face.
"Don't you ever talk to Saelind like that again," she stated calmly, lowering her hand with a level expression. "I'm done just sitting back and watching this. If anyone is ugly, Kikiroshi-san, I'm pretty sure it's you. If not on the outside, then on the inside."
"Who do you think you are?" Ami hissed, looking at her with a flinty expression. "Who are you to slap me?"
"Her family," Haruhi stated simply, ignoring her shoes and hopping the fence in order to help Saelind get her hair in order. "Now get out of here. Tamaki and the others are on their way, so if you don't want your true nature to be exposed, I'd do the smart thing for once."
Ami glowered at them, but she did as she was told and stomped off.
And by the time Haruhi and Saelind managed to slosh out of the pond, the host club members were hurrying over and the two-faced brunette was gone.
Saelind, however, was far from being content.
"I'm done," she hissed, rubbing her eyes in anger. "I can't take this crap anymore."
"I'll cover for you," Haruhi murmured, giving her a firm expression. "Just don't take too long or they'll worry."
Saelind gave her a blank stare before she nodded once and swept away, avoiding coming into contact with the Host Club and allowing Haruhi to stall them.
She needed some time to be alone, anyway.
Author's Note: below is a link to the song. Even better? Saelind and her brother sang it together after I paid them fifty bucks. You'd BETTER enjoy this. :) Sorry about the no copy/paste factor, but I'm sure if you REALLY want to hear it you'll type the link in manually.
h_t_t_p_s_:/soundcloud_._com_/jedediah1212/a-life-divided-feel-cover-feat-saelind-and-saelvan-thompson