Author's Notes: Many thanks to everyone for all the wonderful reviews and feedback! This is the penultimate chapter of this tale! The final chapter should be up in a couple of weeks (after my latest round of beastly work deadlines) shortly before Christmas. Then begins the next installment in Generation K: Aurora Australis, which is my take on the back-story of the Hansens and the prelude to the movie.

Canon Note: The title of this chapter comes from a Bible quote, but it's actually a reference to the verse as quoted in Hermann Wouk's famous World War II novel, War and Remembrance, sequel to The Winds of War. Anyone who's read it or seen the magnificent miniseries based on it may get the theme - it's quite sad. Anybody recognize it?

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Set Thine House In Order

July 24, 2019…
Los Angeles Shatterdome…

"Raleigh, wait, don't disengage!" Tendo shouted, but it was no use. He doubted Rals or Yance could even hear him, and they were probably moving on autopilot.

The rig had unlocked with the deactivation of the handshake. Note to self: get J-Tech to put in a protocol that it DOESN'T unlock when we do an emergency remote power-down. With the touch of a button, it released Raleigh, and the younger Becket simply slid to the floor.

Yancy's vitals were stuttering no less than his brother's, and his heartrate spiked as he sensed Raleigh's collapse. "Ral..." he breathed, fumbling at his rig. "Rals?"

Damn it, thought Tendo, only able to watch the readings and hope for the best. But while Yancy fell too once he was out of the rig, the medical readouts showed he was still conscious - if only just.

"What would've happened if they'd completely destabilized?" Cady asked the newly-arrived Dr. Lightcap, who was now watching the readouts with grim eyes.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "Probably this. They'd lose coherence and pass out, and if that kaiju was still alive, he'd have them helpless."

The neural readouts from Yancy's suit showed him too slipping into unconsciousness, and there was no more sound from Gipsy's conn-pod. But Tendo clung to the reassuring lines on the vitals monitors, showing that however drained and exhausted the Beckets might be, they were alive, and not in distress.

When Whiskey Alpha's R&R crew got in through the hatch ten minutes later, they found Raleigh sprawled on the floor at the feet of his rig. Yancy had crawled to his little brother's side before collapsing too. "They're in good shape," reported Alpha's commander, Hien Nguyen. "I'm showing all Gipsy's drop gear intact and functional. We can start first aid if you want to lift her out now, get her and the Rangers to the Shatterdome together."

"Is that any faster than evacuating the pilots first?" asked Pentecost, frowning at Marshall Ramirez.

"Getting them out of their suits unconscious and out of the escape hatch will take close to an hour, sir. Close to the same."

The Marshalls exchanged a quick look, then nodded in unison as if they were drifting. "Then get Jaeger and all back here. Lift crews, as quick as you can," Ramirez ordered.

"Copy that, sir. Drop team Beta, moving in. Secure the pilots for liftoff."

Tendo supposed moving the Jaeger back to the Dome would be easier on the Beckets than manhandling them out of Gipsy's escape hatch... but given how completely unconscious they both were through the ride, he doubted it made much difference to them.

He and Team Gipsy were waiting with Team Vulcan when all the brain scans finally completed and the Becket boys were wheeled into the infirmary. "Are they in any pain?" asked Devi Hassan anxiously.

"It probably feels like one hell of a hangover," said Dr. Lightcap. "I'm not seeing any brain damage, just severe exhaustion. We'll give them some analgesics and a mild trank just to be sure."

"How long was their handshake?" Suze asked.

"Just over fourteen hours total," said Cady at once. "The medics called it just like with Romeo Blue: they synch up completely for the last couple of hours, then it starts breaking down. Bruce and Trevin were right on the edge of it when they took Hardship down. Our boys went over the edge."

"We shouldn't have let it go that far," said Indra Hassan, scowling at his tablet. "We should have been in there backing them up sooner, a proper team. This cut it too close."

"Hindsight's twenty-twenty, old friend," Tendo sighed. "I mean, you're right, but," he smiled wearily and gestured to the unconscious Beckets. "They'll be okay. They got it done. Third kill!"

"Has anyone ever had three kills before?" demanded Christian Warner.

"Nope." The stress and anxiety of the close call was now being replaced by giddiness. People started counting on their fingers, and Team Gipsy was exchanging delighted looks with their fellows. Even Doc Lightcap was grinning as she looked up from her readouts at the Beckets' bedside. "Sergio and I have two. The Jessops had two, Romeo and Horizon each have two." She brushed a hand gently over Raleigh's hair, smiling at him and his sleeping brother. "Hold your heads up, Team Gipsy. You've got the best team in the world."

They managed to contain themselves not to erupt into cheers and applause right there in the infirmary. "Go celebrate and get some rest," Carolina Olivares told them, giving multiple shoves to everyone within arm's reach. "Our boys aren't going to wake up for at least a day, and after that, we're going to be very busy."

But pretty much everyone in the crew had to hug her, hug Doc Lightcap, hug the Hassans, hug the medics, and hug everybody else in the vicinity who stayed still long enough.

And Tendo found that he wasn't the only one who wandered back to the outside of Gipsy's bay and found himself in front of that little shelf they'd installed in the wall with a fisherman's cap and twelve uniform nametags. Out of the way but still easy to find, impossible to enter the bay without passing them. Funny how it still stung and burned inside to look at this, to see those names and those faces in his mind and know they weren't here - but that he could still smile so easily in front of it. He led the group salute to their absent friends.

"We got the bastard, Gamma Twelve. Gipsy's got her third kill, and our boys are okay," said Hien, eyes wet, but smiling no less broadly than the rest of them. "Wish you were here."

"They are," said Christian, with absolute conviction in his voice. "I know they are."

There were lots of different religions represented in Team Gipsy, and different levels of faith. Tendo knew their Becket boys were pretty much agnostic. Some of the crew were atheists, others intensely devoted to a particular faith and no other. Not everyone would believe that...

... but judging by the smiles, he knew that no matter what they believed, everyone imagined it right now. We did you proud.

July 25, 2019…
Los Angeles Shatterdome…

Caitlin made her report to the brass and commanding officers on the condition of the Beckets. It inspired much relief, albeit some confusion from those who had trouble following the science. "How is it that this team destabilized two hours earlier than the Gages did?" asked Marshall Ketteridge.

"It's useless to try to compare one handshake with another, sir," she explained patiently. "It depends entirely on the individuals and the nuances of their handshake. All the theoretical material we had up to now is at least supported by the results: the Gages are identical twins, exact same age, exact same DNA, which lent itself to a longer handshake stability. They've also been drifting longer with the Beckets; experience may play a role."

"How are the Beckets?" asked Marshall Gagnon. "You don't think the destabilization caused any brain damage?"

She shook her head. "So far, I'm not seeing any indicators of injury, although to my knowledge, this is the closest any team has come to true destabilization. We can't rule out the possibility of damage."

Secretary General Krieger mused, "Perhaps we should ask for volunteers and experiment with it so we have a better idea of the result."

For a few seconds, she just blinked at him, then it was all she could do not to hit the screen. Are you fucking joking?! "Sir... " Seriously?! "The point of this work is to prevent destabilization, not experiment with it. We already know the very clear warning signs: extreme synchronization to the point of loss of sense of self. That's the moment that the handshake needs to be ended as soon as possible, not push it to its limits and take notes on whether or not the Rangers die!"

"I agree with Dr. Lightcap," said Marshall Pentecost, quickly echoed by Gagnon, Ramirez, and Yamamoto. "There's no call for an experiment like that, and far too much danger. The Gages took six weeks to recover from a sixteen hour handshake, and the Beckets are still unconscious. Necessity may force an extreme strain to the pilots, but not curiosity."

To her intense relief, Krieger dropped that stupid idea, or she would have started giving personal opinions of his intelligence. "What about Gipsy Danger?" Jasper asked. "Are we going to need to run her up here for repairs?"

"I don't think so; she actually sustained only superficial damage," said Ramirez. "We'll have an inspection team take a close look at her, but I think we can handle the repairs in-house."

Gagnon smirked. "And you're not giving the number one ship in the world up without a fight, eh?" Ramirez kept a neutral expression, but didn't deny it. "On the other hand, their fellow Rangers have raised concerns that they were left to fight alone for too long without backup."

The way Ketteridge rolled his eyes instantly raised Caitlin's hackles. "Or the Hassans are tetchy because they weren't deployed with their boyfriends."

Ramirez and Pentecost beat her to it, chorusing, "That's inappropriate," and glowering at the Australian. Ramirez took the lead. "Yes, the Beckets are their friends, but they and their LOCCENT crew also raised some very apt points about the level of deterioration that went on before backup was called in. As fellow Rangers who depend on the leadership to provide the support they need, they have ever reason in the world to speak up."

Several of the other Commanding Officers were nodding. "They're right. We've focused on team deployment for a reason: to minimize casualties and injury," said Admiral Yamamoto. "We had two other Jaegers within fifty miles, and while Gipsy herself wasn't badly damaged, her pilots were pushed to their limits."

"We should have backup ready and deployed to engage at will whenever possible," agreed Gagnon.

The UN reps exchanged glances, and one of the Americans actually said with a straight face, "But multi-Jaeger deployment is necessarily twice as expensive."

"You prefer the expense of a destroyed Jaeger, a kaiju reaching shore, and the cost of each and every human life we lose?" growled Jasper.

Jasper Schoenfeld did have his moments, Caitlin mused to herself. All of the Dome commanders were nodding, and quite a few of the brass were shooting glares at the ones who were so concerned about cost above all else.

"It doesn't have to be a question of throwing everything available at every kaiju," the K-Watch commander pointed out. "Based on the Serizawa category of the kaiju and its range of motion - which we'll have plenty of time to observe before most of them approach land - we can make a recommendation on the Jaeger response."

"Two deployed in San Diego Bay could probably have finished Clawhook several hours sooner," said Marshall Ramirez. "It's not just a question of size. Yamarashi is still the biggest on record, but Gipsy Danger and Yankee Star handled him well. Hardship would have merited a third deployment, and we might have saved Diablo Intercept and his pilots, not to mention nearly a thousand people in Concepción."

"Let's form an exploratory committee on group deployment tactics," proposed Krieger.

That's what you always do. We must have at least twenty of them by now, Caitlin thought.

She was relieved when the meeting broke up and she could return to the brain scans in peace. The medics kicked nearly everyone out of the infirmary on the second night except for one Team Gipsy representative permitted to remain with the Beckets – although there was almost a riot over who got the honors.

The medics had a point, though: the Beckets weren't the only ones worn down by that long run. Tendo Choi fell asleep at the bedside, but Caitlin let him be. She and the medics didn't think it was very likely that either Ranger would wake up anytime soon.

Yancy surprised her. She was weaving through the graveyard shift of drowsy nurses, thinking about turning in herself, when she realized one of the occupants of the improvised double bed was looking at her. "Hey!" she whispered, going quickly to his side. Raleigh was still comatose, and Yancy didn't seem exactly coherent. "How're you feeling?"

Squinting even in the dim lights, he cast a dazed look around and finally murmured, "Wha' happened?"

"You bagged your third kill, Yancy," she told him. "Clawhook. Remember?" Whether they would remember those last events, she wasn't quite sure, but plenty of people would be happy to describe it, and there were lots of videos available. Here's hoping they remember. It'd be disappointing if the heroes of the hour can't hang onto their own victory. "Raleigh's fine," she assured him, sensing his anxiety as he shifted towards his brother. "You pushed the handshake until it started to destabilize, but I've finished examining both of you. No damage that resting won't fix."

There wasn't a single pair (or trio) of Rangers whose interactions didn't tend to make her smile, but the sibling pairs could be especially adorable. Caitlin smiled to herself and patted Yancy's shoulder as he touched Raleigh's face, searching him. He didn't say anything else, and Caitlin didn't bother either. He fell asleep again in minutes.

Tugging Yancy's blanket over him, she gave Tendo a shake. "I think you better call in back-up, Mr. Choi."

"Uh? Oh... yeah, thanks, Doc." Tendo shuffled to his feet and looked the Beckets over. "Did Yancy wake up?"

"For about thirty seconds, long enough to make sure Raleigh was present and accounted for." She steered Tendo towards the door. "Go on, call in someone who's gotten more than four hours of sleep in the past three days."

"Don't think we've got anyone with that qualification," Tendo replied, yawning heavily. He gave her a sly grin. "And you're a fine one to talk, ma'am."

She chuckled. "Guilty."

Stacker was in a good mood. K-Watch and Tactics had enough personnel crossover that they'd ironed out an initial deal for a report on deployment recommendations based on "assessed threat level" of the kaiju. The casualty count from the Clawhook incident had set an all-time low for the entire Pacific Ocean.

He had just confirmed Mako's travel arrangements to meet him in Alaska for three weeks before her autumn school term. She had asked if she could see some of the Jaegers, or (better yet) meet some of the Rangers.

Stacker was always the first one to remind staff and families that the mechs and their pilots were not tourist attractions, but he knew plenty of insider introductions went on, and... well... as long as they weren't on duty, perhaps he could happen to cross paths with the Gages. They and most of their fellows enjoyed meeting children away from cameras and reporters.

As he headed for his quarters to get some sleep, he noticed a figure in hospital scrubs shuffling down the hall out of the corner of his eye. The graveyard shift was changing; groggy medics and orderlies stumbling off to bed was a common sight.

Then he stopped so fast that he almost skidded on the concrete floor.

That was no medic. It was Yancy Becket.

"Ranger Becket?" No answer, no indication the young man had heard him. "Yancy?"

Now Yancy turned, sluggish and glassy-eyed, and there was almost no recognition in his gaze. Good lord. His eyes were open, so he wasn't sleep-walking... or maybe they could call this drift-walking. Stacker hurried towards him, and saw, to his relief, a little bit of clarity in the Ranger's bleary expression. "What are you doing?"

"I - I don't..." Becket blinked several times. "Sir?"

"I think you should go back to sickbay," Stacker told him. "You and your brother need to rest."

Becket frowned, looking suspicious to the point that Stacker wondered if he even knew who he was talking to or where he was. But then Yancy muttered, "I remember now."

"Remember what?" Maybe he should page a medic. Somebody'd fallen asleep on the job if a patient had managed to wander out of the infirmary without being released.

Yancy's response stopped him cold, and his eyes, bright as if he was feverish, were suddenly fully focused on Stacker's face. "I remember what you told me after Yamarashi."

Now Stacker was the one feeling a bit disoriented. "Oh." There wasn't much else to say. How very... interesting. The young Ranger had never mentioned that conversation again, but hadn't betrayed any discomfort in Stacker's presence afterwards. Stacker had concluded that he didn't remember; recalling such a breakdown would have lent even someone of Yancy Becket's reserve a little awkwardness.

But Yancy wasn't awkward now that he did remember. Rather, he seemed... angry. "You were lying. About Raleigh. You didn't care what he wanted. Y'just wanted to make sure we kept piloting."

This was quite awkward. But if Stacker hadn't been about to censure a drift-impaired Ranger for breaking down, he couldn't very well do it for lashing out. Especially not when he... might just have a point. "I wasn't lying to you about your brother or his skills. The last two years should be proof for you." I shouldn't even be arguing with you about this. What good was it to defend himself to a soldier who might as well be falling-down drunk? But Stacker felt driven to do it, because this soldier was echoing a bitter little voice deep within his own conscience.

"You're a real chess master, aren't you?" Yancy breathed. "You talk about self-control and discipline, make sure we all know we're not supposed to act like humans, but you're no better than us, are you? You can't stand Raleigh."

"That's not true. I don't hate Raleigh. I don't even dislike him."

And Tamsin and Luna were back in his mind's eyes and ears, watching the show. Ohhh, Stacks, that's a lie!

All right, very well, I think he's obnoxious, but that's true of many people. "Your brother's a fine pilot and a good man, I've no doubt of that." When he told the truth, Luna and Tamsin didn't seem to laugh at him in his memory, and his conscience didn't sting so much.

"All of us're good pilots," Yancy countered, swaying on his feet. Stacker caught his elbow. "But people still die... two've died alone now."

What was he... oh. Stacker managed not to cringe. He was thinking of Tacit Ronin's Duc Jessop, and Tidal Dragon's Hayase Shindo. Two Rangers had now outlived their partners: Kaori Jessop had died of cancer, and Jiro Shindo had died from the radiation complications only weeks ago. Hayase Shindo was too ill from her own radiation exposure for public appearances, but her name and likeness were paraded around in Asia, and Duc Jessop was still being trotted around the publicity circuit. There was a lot of grumbling within the Ranger ranks about reducing these people to figureheads after they'd lost what Jaeger pilots treasured most.

So Yancy's newest meltdown was triggered by that resentment of authority, of the propaganda being perpetuated at the expense of men and women who'd given their lives in this war.

It won't do any good to point out that I spoke against that publicity, against the video games and the merchandising. I'm one of the leadership, so I'm guilty with the majority. Maybe more so, because out of all the Marshalls, I alone have been a Ranger.

Yancy would have seen Tamsin's name in the records, would remember the Onibaba engagement from the analyses, but Stacker and his supporters had kept her condition quiet, as they had Kaori's and still did Duc's and Hayase's until the day the radiation finally claimed them. A part of him badly wanted to confide, no matter how improper it was. I do understand. I do. You're not alone in trying to protect your partner. I'm still doing it and I'll never set foot in a Jaeger again.

Now that he'd puzzled out this semi-delirious point, he could see what was coming next. That was good, because it gave him time to brace himself for the pain and sheer horror in Yancy's voice. "What'll happen to him, if anything happens to me?"

Stacker Pentecost was not one for giving false reassurances or false hope. But he felt an impulse to do it now as he hadn't since Luna had been alive. The desire to insist that it would be all right, and everything would work out. I can't do that, because it's not true. Not even to Mako, and a little girl ought to feel safe in this world. Teenagers and children ought to not grow up in terror and grief, ought to not become soldiers before they're even of age.

Perhaps I'm hard on your brother because I'm more worried for you. That he'll overreach and get himself killed the same way that she... that you'll be the one left alone and empty.

It hadn't stopped him from pressing Yancy back from the edge after Yamarashi; the elder Becket wasn't entirely wrong. Stacker had manipulated the situation, appealed to his pride in his brother just as he'd cultivated the recruits and the candidates to push themselves to their limits and beyond. And he'd resented it a year ago when Raleigh had still been pushing in Lima - ready to punish the very monster he had created.

He's not a monster, he told himself defensively. He's a Ranger, and a bloody good one. They both are. They're the best team in the world. The impulsive, emotional youth and the determined, protective elder brother. Stacker Pentecost prided himself in the thickness of his own skin, yet this pair seemed to get under it again and again. It was rather silly of him to have to wonder why.

He almost... almost told Yancy right then. I'm an elder brother too. I had a little sister who wanted to fly and slay dragons and never, ever let anything hold her back. I lost her, and then I lost my Jaeger, and I may still lose my partner. I understand.

Yancy was swaying again, and Stacker caught his other arm, but his hand closed hard on Stacker's wrist. "'f anything happens," he growled. "You better do right by him. Don' let them... use him like that. You said, I can't protect him - you said! You're the fucking Marshall, so you better. Protect him better than the others."

God, what an indictment, more than you can even know. Part of him wanted to brush it off, to dismiss this as delirious, overwrought ravings... but he couldn't. A voice in the back of his mind, part-Tamsin, part-Luna, part his own conscience, it wouldn't allow it. Yancy Becket might be in drift shock, but somehow, his half-conscious mind had tapped into something that he'd completely missed awake - and it was very accurate.

Stacker opened his mouth - and Yancy's eyes lost focus. Time was up, and whatever strange part of his subconscious had taken over, it had failed along with his strength. His eyes fluttered closed, and Stacker caught him as he fell. The boy weighed a solid ton; Stacker barely managed to keep him from hitting the floor like a sack of bricks. Down the hall, he heard an alarm going off in the infirmary.

Really, it took you this long to notice you're missing a patient? Looking at the unconscious young man as he laid his jacket beneath Yancy's head, he felt too drained inside to muster any more irritation. Tapping his earpiece, he called the infirmary. "This is Marshall Pentecost; I'm in the corridor outside the gym. I think I have what you're looking for."

"Oh, thank GOD!" someone exclaimed. "Found him!"

Stacker shook his head and rang off. Kneeling next to his charge, he found Yancy's pulse evening out and his breathing easy. I wonder if he'll remember this conversation. If he were a gambling man, he'd deem the odds quite long.

He would have to let Dr. Lightcap and the medics know what had happened: Ranger Becket had wandered out of the infirmary under the influence of the destabilization shock and confronted Pentecost about a conversation they'd had when he was in a previous drift shock. Beyond that... the substance wasn't important.

And even if it had been, well... self-discipline in all things. Self-control. But we are all still human. So he spoke words that no one could hear, to a man who wouldn't remember even if he could have heard... and might as well have made a blood oath before a million witnesses.

"I promise, Ranger. I promise."

He was calmly monitoring Yancy's vitals when the medics hurried around the corner, then stepped away to let them swoop down and carry their runaway patient back to the infirmary.

To be continued...

Coming Soon: The finale chapter of Aurora Borealis. Raleigh and Yancy face one final, painful obstacle as they find themselves christened the most successful Rangers to date. But the enemy isn't a kaiju, only their own drained minds after pushing the drift to its limit in Chapter Thirty-Nine: He Ain't Heavy.

PLEASE don't forget to review!

Original Character Guide

Devi and Susanti Hassan: Pilots of Vulcan Specter, Australia's Mark-3, Australian/Indonesian sisters in their late 20s, graduated Class 2016-B of the Jaeger Academy with the Beckets.

Indra Hassan: Devi and Susanti's elder cousin, late 30s, failed at drifting but trained as a LOCCENT technician, now Support Chief of Vulcan Specter.

Jiro and Hayase Shindo: Pilots of Tidal Dragon, Japan's Mark-2 Jaeger, foster siblings. Severely injured from radiation poisoning in battle and retired for the same reasons as Stacker Pentecost and Tamsin Sevier. Jiro has now died of the complications.

Marshall Ana Ramirez: Commanding Officer of the Los Angeles Shatterdome, former US Army, Mexican-American in her 40s

Marshall Blake Ketteridge: Commanding Officer of the Sydney Shatterdome, Australian Air Force in his early 60s

Marshall Vincent Gagnon: Commanding Officer of the Jaeger Academy and Anchorage Shatterdome, former Canadian Air Force in his late 50s.

Carolina Olivares: Gipsy Danger's public relations representative, Mexican-American in her 60s, team den mother.

Cady Spencer: one of Gipsy Danger's LOCCENT technicians along with Tendo Choi, Filipino-American from Seattle, late 20s, attended the Jaeger Academy with Tendo and the Beckets.

Christian Warner: one of Gipsy Danger's drivesuit technicians, African-American from Atlanta, Georgia, late 20s, attended the Jaeger Academy with his sister, Chloe, but was not drift compatible enough to make pilot.

Hien Nguyen: one of Gipsy Danger's Strike Troopers with Team Whiskey Alpha, Vietnamese-American, late 20s.