Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters contained therein, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is kind enough to let fans write fiction. I make no profit from this nor do I intend to.
Re-write as of 10/2012
Chapter 38
Figuring Out the Plot
My Life has a superb cast,
but I can't figure out the plot...
Ashleigh Brilliant
For the first time ever she started to really enjoy herself.
Ibiki and Ayumu lay in the hammock out back and watched the night sky. Ayumu was resting comfortably at Ibiki's feet with his legs on either side of her torso, and with one foot over the side so Ibiki could gently rock the hammock. The night sky was clear and there were enough lights out in the city so they could enjoy the stars. Neither said anything, but one or the other would occasionally pat or stroke the others leg, and it was a pleasant way to end a long day for both of them.
Ayumu raised a foot and placed its sole down on Ibiki's chest and wiggled her toes. He grabbed her ankle and started to tickle it so she brought her other foot down next to it as well. When she started to sneak her feet up to his face Ibiki playfully nipped at them with his teeth. Ayumu laughed and just laid both her legs down on his chest; her feet coming just short of his chin.
"You know, you always end up plopped down on top of me one way or another, what gives? Not like I mind, but it is amusing," he said massaging her feet.
"What? You too weak to be able to offer me a comfortable resting spot? Not that you look scrawny or anything...but I guess that appearances can be deceiving," she said with a wide-eyed and innocent look to her.
Ibiki put his hands behind his head and just stared at her with a raised brow. "My name does allude to being a bear..."
"No, your name alludes to something like 'snore in the woods', and that could mean anything...and why would your parents do something like that? Isn't that kind of...oh, I don't know...odd?"
Ibiki tickled the bottom of her foot and wouldn't let it go, even when she tried to snatch it back. "Maybe it was because of my size-" but she cut him off again.
"I mean honestly, Ibiki, why didn't they just name you 'sneeze in the woods', or maybe 'hacking in the woods'? It all makes no sense..."she said with a look of real contemplation on her face.
And not for the first time he thought that she was a cracked pot.
"Look at my name- Ayumu- means 'Walk your own Path', and that is exactly what I have done," she said proudly, sticking her chest out (to which Ibiki was immeasurably pleased with). "How did your parents think that you would be like a bear?"
"Because no one fucks with a bear, and by hearing its snore it gives you a chance to think about what you are going to do before acting." he said with a certain amount of disdain.
Ayumu just gave him a deadpan look and rolled her eyes. "Or maybe you just had bad breathing problems as a child, being how wimpy you are as an adult..."
"You didn't think that I was so wimpy the other night when I had you up against the wall..." Ibiki said looking at her with a slight leer and waggling his eyebrows at her.
"Well, you did let the wall help in the support system, so you don't get too many points for that...maybe a few engineering points..." she laughed.
Ibiki nodded his head solemnly, "Yes, and I should considering that I had a lot to support..."
Ayumu pulled a few of his leg hairs out in retaliation. Ibiki hissed at the slight discomfort.
"You wouldn't be implying anything would you...hmm?" She glared at him.
"I'm not implying anything, woman...I'm stating right out that there is a lot of you to hold up in such a position and during such activities."
Ayumu couldn't help but laugh, and she wasn't offended - not in the least.
"Well, one of the many reasons that you like me so much is because of my curves, but more importantly I think it's because my 'cups runneth over' in such a bountiful way...I bet dollars to donuts my 'girls' had you mesmerized from minute one."
Ibiki was still looking up at the stars and seeming to pay not too much attention to her. He never stopped his ankle massage though, and Ayumu was forever grateful.
"No, your backside was the first thing that I noticed- considering that it was in my face for almost a two story descent. It blocked out everything around me..."
She started to laugh almost uncontrollably, and Ibiki couldn't help but look down at her and smile. In their position her heaving chest was in the perfect perspective to admire. He had to admit that her breasts looked great from any angle.
Ayumu looked down at him and caught his enraptured stare. She couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes.
"Ibiki, you have a serious problem...you might need to get it checked out...you are becoming a slave to the sight of my breasts. I think that if I was to die today you would make sure to take my breasts and mount them on the wall as a reminder."
Ibiki frowned and tweaked her toes. "Hey, not funny...don't talk like that."
Ayumu couldn't help a gleam to show in her eyes as she took her foot and nudged his crotch (which caused Ibiki to wiggle a bit uncomfortably, and for many reasons). "I know what I would mount of yours..."
"Well, you certainly mount it enough that you should have it as a keep-sake," he retorted with a snort.
Ayumu started to really laugh at that, and nodded her head in assertion. "And talking about mounting...we have a new rule in the house now – thanks to you and Hiroshi. So if there is a problem with it the two of you have only yourselves to blame," and Ayumu told him of the new 'No Noogie after Eleven pm' rule.
Ibiki looked both outraged and crestfallen.
"What?! Who came up with that asinine rule?" he asked looking at the number one culprit.
Ayumu unabashedly gave Ibiki the stink eye.
"I did, thanks to the fact that Hiroshi and his Pool Boy have caused me to lose many nights of good sleep! You on the other hand caused a valued picture of Hiroshi's to fall off the wall, and he was more than slightly put out...So in order to compromise we have to have a few guide lines. Don't think that I am too pleased either, but since he is getting it on a much more regular basis then I am, I can't help but feel a bit contented by it..." Ayumu looked at Ibiki like he was to blame for it all.
Ibiki shook his head and closed his eyes, resting his hands back again behind his head. Ayumu looked at Ibiki with disappointment at losing her little impromptu foot massage. Ibiki immediately went back to massaging it and Ayumu immediately went back to smiling at him.
"Look, I hate to disappoint all of you, but there isn't a single man, woman, or child in Konoha that could cock-block me...and that certainly includes you too, woman...No noogie after eleven pm...all of you are insane..." Ibiki shook his head and laughed ruefully.
"No Ibiki, I'm serious. We have-"
"And so am I, Ayu..."
Ayumu sat up and looked at Ibiki with a serious look on her face. "Really Ibiki, I'm not kidding, this is serious."
"Neither am I, and I am always serious. Especially when it comes to my canoodling."
"Stop that! You sound like one of my Boys...always trying to interrupt me or tell me what to do..." Ayumu said with consternation.
"If they are interrupting you or trying to tell you what to do it is probably because they know better...must be a male thing – you know, knowing better..." Ibiki said with a straight face.
As intended his words were like a match on a pile of dry leaves. Ayumu ignited immediately.
"What?! What is that supposed to mean? And why do you always do that to me? Get me all worked up and upset...do you get some perverse thrill out of seeing me mad?"
"Yes," Ibiki said not changing his expression at all.
Ayumu was stunned. She just looked at him with a strained look on her face, and she was slowly become red with agitation. She just stared at him.
Ibiki just stared right back.
Ayumu got redder.
Ibiki never even blinked.
"Is this how you break people? By driving them slowly insane?"
"Yes," Ibiki said still not blinking or even cracking a smile.
Ayumu gritted her teeth, put her head back down, and closed her eyes. She let an exacerbated breath out, and was lucky enough not to see Ibiki's big grin. She did however feel the hammock shake as he laughed.
"I'm not even going to look up, because if I see a big grin on your face you're toast, mister..."
"You're so easy, Ayu...I don't think that I have ever encountered anyone that was easier to rile up then you. How you've managed not to get an ulcer by now is beyond me," Ibiki said laughing.
Ayumu did look up with a disgruntled look on her face. "Honestly Ibiki, sometimes you are too twisted for words...is that your Great Deed? To give me an ulcer? Is that why you were put on this earth, to irritate me? When you wake up in the morning, the first thought you have isn't wondering what you are going to have for breakfast, but instead how you can get Ayumu steamed?"
Ibiki kissed her foot consolingly. "No sweets, I have that thought before I go to bed. It helps me sleep at night."
Ayumu sat up (through great difficulty and heaving, and almost causing them both to flip over) and maneuvered herself so that she was sitting straight up and holding onto Ibiki's belt for leverage. Ibiki by this time was staring at her with a confounded look. He himself had moved up enough so that if she did decide to wiggle again they both wouldn't get ejected from the hammock and crack their skulls open.
"You know, Ibiki, I used to think that my Great Deed was to teach my Boys the true meaning of love and women. Then, I thought that it was to get Yuzuki and Iruka together. Now I see what my Great Deed really is, what I was really put on this earth for. You, Ibiki, you're my Great Deed. I don't know why, I don't know how...but in some way you are my Great Deed. I just haven't figured it all out yet..." Ayumu looked off perplexed but hopeful.
She couldn't help but exhale out when Ibiki grabbed her by the waist and hauled her up and over him, coming to rest on his torso. "You really are a cracker, you know?"
Ayumu nodded her head almost resignedly. "And you love every minute of it being the masochist that you are...admit it. Any who- I have a few more questions in my life that need answering, and since you seem to know better you get stuck with them."
Ayumu quietly traced small patterns on Ibiki's chest and seemed to be in deep contemplation. When she finally spoke it was with a confused and concerned tone to her voice.
"I think that I need to speak to my cousin Genma, I think that there is something going on and I am not sure about what. He seems to be acting...strange... lately, and I 'm not sure why. I hope that there is nothing wrong..."
Ibiki became absolutely still. He wasn't quite sure what to say about Genma. The subject of Genma had to be handled very delicately, to say the least. He didn't really want to say anything to her about the visit that he had with Shiranui, but he also didn't want to lie to her. Ibiki used deception in his daily work life, and he didn't in any way want it to spill over into his personal life. He didn't want anything or anyone to come in between them. If he was to lie to her about Genma it would surely come out, and when she found out that he had lied to her about that then her gears would go into over-drive thinking about what else he had lied to her about. Then she would quickly loose her mind on him, and it would end up being ugly; no two ways about it. He decided to first see what she thought or even knew.
"What makes you think that there is something up with Genma? I know that he acted strangely at the Exhibition, but has there been anything else?"
Ayumu propped herself up on Ibiki's chest so that she could get a good look at his face, as he could of hers as well. She looked genuinely perplexed and concerned. He could see that she wasn't hiding anything nor trying to come up with false answers.
"Well, he did act kinda funny one night when I was at the Bath house painting my mural...I can't quite put my finger on it, but it was almost as if he was...flirting with me? I felt something that I had never felt before from him. It was like I was at a bar and some guy was testing the waters with me... No, that can't be it... I don't know, Ibiki, it is just so strange..."
Ayumu shook her head and frowned. Then suddenly as if a thought struck her Ayumu's eyes widened slightly and she turned a bit red. She seemed to hesitate about something. Ibiki knew that there was something else that she wanted to say, but was having indecisions about it. He knew her well enough to just let her thoughts take their natural course, and eventually (usually within a matter of minutes) she would spill it. She just wasn't one to keep things in or try and hide something. Ibiki wondered if she was maybe thinking of telling him about Shiranui being in her bedroom. Ibiki certainly wanted to hear the story behind that...but he had to lead her gently if he didn't want to spook or startle her.
"When do you think that this all started?"
Ayumu seemed to make up her mind and nodded her head, as if agreeing with her inner self on something.
"Well, the night that I saw you at the restaurant. I came home and Genma was talking to Hiroshi. I was so upset that I didn't want to see either of them, so I ran upstairs..."
When she didn't finish her story right away Ibiki ran a hand along her side, as if to comfort her enough so that she could finish it. He really did want her to finish the story. He wanted, no needed to know...
"I ran upstairs and threw myself on my bed, and then Genma and Hiroshi came and lay down on either side of me while I cried my eyes out. We all fell asleep and in the morning Hiroshi and I went downstairs and had breakfast. Genma was left sleeping on my bed."
Ayumu looked at Ibiki with such innocence that he knew the story to be totally factual. So, Genma had decided to leave very key portions out of his little tale, and on purpose.
I'm going to make the fucker pay dearly for that one, he thought nastily. The bastard is going to rue the day he thought to fuck with me and mine...
Contrary to the thoughts that he was having inside his head, Ibiki never once let it show on his face. He never lost his non-committal attitude.
"It seems like it was after that moment that he started to look at me funny...almost like he had never seen me before, but not quite like he would treat all his other women. No, it was almost like...I don't know, Ibiki, I just can't figure it out," Ayumu finished shaking her head.
"Maybe he is attracted to you?" Ibiki asked innocently (or at least innocently for him).
Ayumu looked at him with a combination of surprise and disgust. "Eeew, Ibiki! Genma is my cousin!"
"No he isn't Ayu, not really," Ibiki said quietly.
Ayumu didn't even miss a beat, "No Ibiki, he is – for all practical purposes, and he will always be my cousin as far as he is concerned. He will never know from me about what we found out. Besides, I could never be interested in someone like him...he is just too much a manwhore for my taste."
Inside Ibiki's heart flew. He had never felt such elation and relief. He knew all along that she was never interested in Genma, and that nothing had happened...Yeah right, that was why you got so mad the other night, he thought with a brief amount of shame. He also thought that now was a good time to come clean about his meeting with Shiranui...
"Ayu, I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to get how you get...ok?"
Ayumu looked at Ibiki with a worried look on her face; he could see the wheels inside start to spin at an alarming rate. "Ayu, I told you- I don't want-"
Ayumu sat up quickly, almost dislodging them again. She was getting that panicked look on her face. "What, Ibiki? What happened? What did I do-"
Well, so much for leading her gently, he thought with regret. After getting the two of them back on a more even keel Ibiki sat them both up so that his feet were firmly on the ground and Ayumu sat in his lap with her legs wrapped around his middle. He could feel her start to shake with nerves. It still amazed him how both unsure they still felt sometimes about their relationship. As confident as they both felt they still could have moments of breath taking uncertainty. He held her and rubbed her back, but she started to struggle a bit trying to look him in the face.
"What, Ibiki? Tell me..."
"Ayu, first – you didn't do anything...it was me," and that statement just made things worse it seemed to him. He could see that she immediately thought that there was another woman, and most probably thought that it had something to do with Anko...
"If you would just hold on a minute I could tell you-"
"What, Ibiki? What?!"
"Ayu! For all that's holy – stop it! I just wanted to tell you that I spoke to Genma the other night myself...I warned him off of you..."
Ibiki didn't look the least bit embarrassed about it. In fact, he looked slightly smug...
Ayumu stopped her flailing around and immediately lost her panic stricken look. All tension left her, and then she did something that really threw Ibiki through a loop: she started to laugh. She started to laugh so hard that she almost couldn't control herself. She started to laugh, giggle, and snort so hard that Ibiki started think that she had finally gone over the edge.
"I really don't get you sometimes, woman." Ibiki said shaking his head. Ayumu wiped the tears away and hugged Ibiki hard. He returned it shaking his head.
"Oh, Ibiki! That's the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me! It reminds me of when my Boys took you out and grilled you over your own fire..."Ayumu sighed happily against Ibiki, acting like all was right with the world.
Well, then she is really going to love me after I get my hands on Shiranui and I've beaten the living shit out of him...Ibiki thought ruefully.
Ayumu pulled back and looked at Ibiki with shining eyes. "What did you do? What did you say?! Oh Ibiki, tell me everything!"
"I just told him that you weren't for him, nothing more - nothing less..."
Ayumu rolled her eyes with disappointment. "Come on! Didn't you guys fight over me? Weren't there any punches thrown? " she asked almost seeming to drool over the prospect.
"No, Ayu, we talked."
Ayumu looked crestfallen.
"Oh, Ibiki! How disappointing! Are you telling me that you didn't even throw one of those little pointy thingies ("Kunai, Ayu-" Ibiki cut in shaking his head) or even a chair? Something? Anything?"
Ayumu grabbed the front of his shirt and tried to shake him.
"Ayu-"
Ayumu threw herself back dramatically and pouted. "Nothing? Come on, Ibiki! Not even a teeny, tiny brawl?"
Ibiki pulled her back up by the waist and stared at her like she was nuts.
"No Ayu, sorry to disappoint you...next time I'll make sure to at least maim him. Would slitting a major artery make you feel better?"
"Honestly Ibiki, don't you know that every girl likes to have a guy fight over her at least once? There is nothing sexier or a bigger turn on then finding out that her man exhibited a bit of caveman testosterone in her favor! It gives a girl a bit of a prehistoric thrill..."
Ayumu shook her head sadly at him.
Ibiki thought that he would never understand women, and in particular- his.
"Oh, I see...So is that why you were so nervous the night I walked you to the Bath house? I thought that you were going to jump out of your skin...was the possible 'thrill' getting to be too much?"
Ayumu waved his question and obnoxious attitude away.
"No Ibiki, firstly, it was my job, and I didn't need you to start some cockfight at my place of employment – very rude and more importantly a possible financial and professional disaster. Secondly, it was Iruka and he wouldn't have deserved it. He was never interested in me...besides, you would have pummeled the man meant for someone else."
Ibiki was slightly mollified to hear that she thought that he would have beat the crap out of Umino, but he wasn't sure about all these rules concerning fighting over a woman...
"So, there are rules concerning a cockfight? I can't wait to hear them," he said drolly.
Ayumu looked at him like he had grown a second head.
"Of course, Ibiki! Didn't they teach you boys those kinds of things? What kind of training did you have at that Academy for heaven's sake?"
Ibiki closed his eyes and counted to ten, but he never got to it.
"You always fight over my honor and dignity. You always fight over another man trying to snatch me away. You always fight over someone trying to hurt me. You always fight over some man trying to be rude or crass with me. You always fight over some man trying to displace you. You always fight over-"
"You expect an awful lot of fighting over you, don't you woman," Ibiki asked dryly.
"Ibiki, those are just the basics. There are plenty more...now-"
"Ayu, is this what you teach your Boys?" Ibiki asked incredulously. Ayumu blinked at him and said nothing. She just looked at him like he was the crazy one...
"I teach my Boys to do the right thing and never be afraid..." she finished warningly. "Oh...Is that it Ibiki? Were you afraid of Genma?" Ayumu looked at Ibiki with fascination.
Ibiki immediately reared up, and pure indignation shown in his eyes.. "Afraid of Shiranui?! Are you serious? Have you lost your mind..."
Ayumu loved to poke Ibiki when she could. He was a hard one to rattle, and the few times that she did she always felt such satisfaction. But she wasn't the type to let people squirm for long; she was too empathic to their plight. Ayumu broke out in laughter and snuggled into him. When he didn't return the gesture right away she physically poked him until he conceded.
"Oh Ibiki, my money would always be on you in a fight. I know that one way or another you'd get the best of anyone," she said looking up happily. "Even if you had to resort to the sneakiest, dirtiest, low-down tricks-"
"I would never do that Ayu, and you know that!" Ibiki looked slightly mad, and Ayumu couldn't help but be slightly pleased. He was just so easy sometimes...
Ayumu wiggled farther up into his lap and pushed him so that he lay back down. She looked down at him with love and laughter in her eyes. "I know Ibiki, I know. You always play fair..." and she rolled her eyes at him.
Ibiki couldn't help but roll his eyes back at her. What a nut job, he thought with pride.
Ayumu lay down and snuggled into Ibiki. She never could think of any place more comfortable then to rest atop him. He was just so solid and comforting. Let him think that she was a cracked pot. She probably was, but she was his cracked pot... They lay drowsily together under the deepening sky, and neither saying anything as they just let the gently swaying hammock rock them both to sleep.
It might have been the chill in the night air that woke them, or it might have been that they were slightly uncomfortable and needed more room. But what most probably woke them were the loud groans, moans, and dirty talk coming from Hiroshi's room right above them.
"What the hell? It's past curfew!" Ayumu exclaimed like some sort of offended and disgruntled chaperon. She looked up to Hiroshi's room with outrage. "He can't do that now..." she said looking to Ibiki, as if he could stop them.
Ibiki just looked at her with a smug and bemused grin on his face.
"Is this one of those times that I'm supposed to fight over? Am I supposed to go upstairs, tear them apart, and then tear them each a new one?"
Ayumu slapped him on the chest and turned back to look up to Hiroshi's room. "Oi, you two! It's past curfew! Put a lid on it or at least put your clothes back on!"
The moaning and groaning stopped immediately, and Ayumu turned to Ibiki with a triumphant look on her face. It was immediately dropped though after a red piece of clothing was thrown down on her- coming to land almost exactly on her head, and partially obscuring her face. When she pulled it off and examined it she saw that it was a pair of Hiroshi's knickers.
"Oh gross...!" she said flinging the offensive garment away. She almost fell off both Ibiki and the hammock due to Ibiki's laughter.
Ibiki was laughing so hard that he had to grab onto Ayumu's waist for support. He suddenly stood up, and with a shriek from Ayumu he flung her over his shoulder.
"Don't worry you two – I'll take care of the neighborhood menace. You just go back to what you were doing...sorry for disturbing the peace," he called up to the two lovers.
"Disturbing the peace my ass...disturbing my peace and breaking our rules! What's the point in having rules if no one but me follows them?" Ayumu looked put-out and put-upon.
"Thanks, Ibiki!" cried out both Hiroshi and Ren together.
Ibiki just nodded and walked off with Ayumu towards his apartment, and slung over his shoulder and mumbling. He patted her backside in a conciliatory manner, never paying her disgruntled ramblings any mind.
"Don't you worry kitten, I'll make sure that you enjoy breaking curfew with me...stupid-assed rule anyway..."
Ibiki walked off into the night laughing in triumph.