Before I Sleep

Chapter 38

Dr. Kimura answered Carla's summons to examine Reid. As she walked into the room, she took one look at him and broke into a smile.

"I see you've heard."

"She's talking! She's awake and she's talking!"

"Well, it's more like a whisper, considering how irritated her throat is, but….yes, she's talking."

"Does she remember it?" Hoping to hear that she didn't, that maybe she hadn't been aware enough to have suffered.

At that, an odd look came over Kimura's face.

"What? Please, tell me." I can take it. "Unless…" Unless JJ or her family had forbade him to know. But she'd given permission, when they'd been admitted. Why would she withdraw it now?

Kimura seemed to be considering her words. "She remembers the aftermath of the explosion. And she remembers being admitted to the hospital. But she doesn't remember anything after her fever spiked."

Reid thought it over as he took a few deep breaths under Kimura's stethoscope. Maybe she doesn't realize how sick she was. That's a good thing, right?

To Kimura, he said, "How do I sound?"

"Better. Definitely better. You've still got a little something going on in there, but it's much less. Are you feeling better?"

He nodded. "I'm definitely awake this time. Might even make it for a full hour," he joked. "And my chest feels better. Not normal, but definitely better. So you can tell JJ that I'm doing what she told me to do." He followed that with a sideways look at Kimura, his best attempt at 'pathetic'. "I suppose you wouldn't let me go and visit her…."

Again the look on Kimura's face. "I think it would be better to give you both the night to rest a little more. Maybe tomorrow."

Reid's eyes narrowed. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

She brushed it off. "It's what I am telling you that's important. You're definitely improving, but you're not exactly well. Considering all you've been through over the past few days, that's not surprising. I'm just asking you to respect the healing process, and give your body the time…and the rest….it needs to heal. Agreed?"

She was right. I guess I can see JJ tomorrow. As long as I know she's okay. As long as I know we have tomorrow.

"Agreed. As long as you're sure JJ is actually better."

Kimura's smile was untainted this time. "She is."

Reid returned it with one of his own. "Okay. Tell her…tell her….." The 20,000-word-a-minute genius was at a loss for the words that would express how he felt. "Just tell her I'm glad."

"Will do. Now, I'd like to see if we can get a few more calories into you. After that, rest. And, if you need to sleep again, do. We'll keep you up tomorrow."

Reid wasn't so sure he was ready to eat, but he trusted Kimura enough to try.

"Okay. Tomorrow."

Linda Kimura had never knowingly lied to a patient. It wouldn't have been ethical, and it wouldn't have sat right with her anyway. In truth, she didn't really even like 'finessing' things. But she'd just done so with Spencer Reid.

Standing in the hallway outside his hospital room, she thought back to a conversation she'd had last night. She could remember it almost word for word, as it had troubled her.

"She doesn't even realize it was Henry who woke her up. She doesn't remember anythin' about it."

"That may be a blessing, Detective LaMontagne. Intubation isn't a pleasant experience. It's not one you would want her to remember all that much about."

"Then I don't want her to remember it. Not at all. Not if it will hurt her. She doesn't have to know how close she came to dyin', does she? It seems like she remembers the bomb…..that's bad enough. But she doesn't remember anythin' about bein' sick. I think we should keep it that way."

"But.."

"Doc…please. She's been through enough. Our family has been through enough." Thinking of what had happened last year, as well as in the past few days. Not even knowing that there was more JJ had been through of which he was unaware.

Kimura had seen Will's distress and acquiesced, still uncomfortable with the decision. JJ had a right to know what she'd been through, and how she'd come to be saved. And Spencer has a right for her to know as well. She'd decided to approach it again in the light of day, removed from the emotion of the evening before.

Which was what she'd been doing when paged about Reid. But the new day hadn't brought any additional insight to Will LaMontagne.

JJ had been awake for this visit. And she'd taken Kimura immediately by surprise.

"How's Spence? Will said he got sick, too." Not, apparently, realizing how Reid had 'gotten sick'.

Kimura immediately shot a glance in Will's direction, receiving a commanding stare in return. Will answered for her.

"I'm sure he's doin' better too, darlin'. Isn't that right, Dr. Kimura?"

Kimura squinted her displeasure at him, but chose not to confront. "I'm about to go and see him. But, yes, your husband is correct. I think he's starting to improve."

JJ smiled. "Last night, I asked Carla to tell him to hurry up and get better. Guess he's following my advice."

Kimura smiled back. "I have a feeling he does that pretty often."

Now, standing out in the hallway, Kimura contemplated her options.

She has to know. If for no other reason than that she's had an infusion of plasma. It's part of her health history. What if she needs a transfusion again? Or has another child?

But Kimura had dealt with emotionally-charged family disputes before. She'd learned it was best to let the emotion wane before pressing the issue. It's just that this was the first time a family dispute for one of her patients would have fallout for another of her patients.

How do I 'do no harm' to both of them at once?

Their best bet, thought Rossi and Morgan, was the pharmacy. People would go to a doctor or dentist wherever that office was located. But they selected their pharmacies by convenience.

Hotch agreed. While the others asked a few questions of the pharmacy staff, he and Kate would head over to the same neighborhood, and find the foster home that had once hosted Jose Martinez. Absent compelling information from either of those interviews, the four active field members of the team would then profile the neighborhood for a likely storage spot.

"How did Henry do last night?" Hotch asked his colleague, as they headed out in their SUV.

"As well as can be expected, I guess. Meg was great with him. She tried to turn it into an adventure. So she set up a little tent in the living room and they both slept in sleeping bags inside it. She called it 'indoor camping', and Henry told her he liked it better than the outdoor camping he'd done with his dad."

They both chuckled at that.

"Meg sounds like a natural."

Kate's smile was proud. "She's great. And she loves kids. I can see her being a teacher some day. Or anything else, really. She's pretty smart. But, whatever else she does, I think she'll be a great mom."

Hotch smiled over at her. "She has a good role model."

Kate suppressed a blush. "I don't know about that. I'm not exactly the baking cookies type. But…my sister kind of was. I see so much of her in Meg."

Hotch was curious…..and, beyond that, he felt a personal need to know.

"Does she remember her mother at all?"

Kate shook her head. "I don't think so. At least, I don't think she has any primary memories. She was so young. Mostly she knows her from photographs, and from the stories I've told her."

Hotch stared ahead at the road in front of him. "Jack was older when he lost his mother. He had his own memories. But….I guess this happens with all kids….some of them have faded. More and more, I think he remembers his mom from photos and videos, and stories, just like Meg does. But…"

His voice had trailed off, prompting Kate to ask. "But?"

Hotch shook himself out of it. "Haley and I were separated for a time before she died. There are memories she formed with Jack that I don't even know about. I haven't been able to help him with those." Even with effort, he couldn't quite keep the regret from his voice.

Kate heard it, and sympathized. "I like to think of it this way. That there's buried treasure inside Meg's head. That, one day, when she least expects it, she'll have some memory of her mom that she didn't even know was in there, and it will be like…..like she gets to spend some time with her. Like she gets to know her again, even for a little bit."

Hotch took that in for a moment before looking over and smiling. He was developing a real appreciation for Kate Callahan. "I like the way you think."

The interview at the pharmacy didn't produce much more information than they already had.

"Yeah, the pharmacist didn't recognize the photo, but the tech did. He's not a frequent customer. Sounds like he's probably a pretty healthy guy, who's now missing his wisdom teeth," Rossi told Hotch and Kate via speakerphone. "However, this is pretty much one of those bodega/pharmacies, and my astute colleague here decided we should interview the cashier as well."

At that, he handed the phone to Morgan. "She remembers him. He's a regular, according to her. Stops in three or four times a week, for one thing or another."

"Such as?" asked Kate.

"The usual…..a few groceries, magazines." Rossi again. "But he also had a couple of 'interesting' purchases. We've got Garcia working on one of them."

"Rossi, don't keep us in suspense!" urged Kate.

Morgan took it back. "He bought a throw away phone, exactly six days ago. And four boxes of condoms."

"Ha!" Kate couldn't help herself. "He's planning to get very lucky, is he?"

Morgan laughed with her. "Yeah, that was my reaction, when she told me. But Rossi and I have been talking it over. We think he might be using them to make friends with the boys at the youth center."

Hotch wasn't so sure. "It sounds like a lot, even for that, unless…. are we sure he's not involved with another center? Or some other organization?"

Before any of them could answer, Kate added another question. "Did he pay cash for all this? Because Penelope would have told us if she'd seen those charges on his credit card, right?"

She couldn't see Morgan and Rossi looking at each other, as they realized she'd thought of something they hadn't. But she heard Rossi's voice.

"Morgan just ran inside to ask. But it wouldn't be like Garcia to miss it. He must have paid in cash."

While they were waiting, Hotch filled Rossi in on the status of the foster parent interview. "We're outside the house now. The foster mother is a school crossing guard. She should be home soon, and we'll interview her then."

Rossi conferred with his long time colleague. "I don't know about you, Aaron, but I can smell it. Something's about to break."

Hotch nodded, unseen by his old friend. "I know what you mean. I just hope it breaks in our favor."

He heard the rustle of Morgan's return over the phone, and then the profiler's voice. "She said he paid with a credit card, but she remembers him shuffling through a few of them before giving her one. I'm willing to bet he's got another one, maybe under a different name. I'll get Garcia on it."

"What about the phone?" asked Rossi. "Can she look into that, too?"

Hotch knew. "It's more difficult to track a disposable phone, but not impossible. Especially if it was used more than once."

"But I think they need to proactively track it, don't they?" offered Morgan. "Like, once they have a number, they can watch which towers it pings from. But it doesn't give them information about who owns it."

Rossi's newfound friendship with the DHS was beginning to pay off. "As I understand it, the NSA may have a way to do just that. Let me give Sid Hirsch a call, see if he can help smooth the way." Among the acronymed agencies, the NSA had a reputation for being as secretive and proprietary as the CIA. Way-smoothing would definitely be called for.

Kate's brows went up. Even in the short time she'd been with the team, she'd learned this would be a hot-button issue. "You're going to have NSA do something that Penelope Garcia can't? I think we might all need to take cover."

Morgan laughed. "You're catching on, Shorty."

He couldn't remember closing his eyes, but he would long remember opening them. When Reid awakened the following morning, feeling almost like a new man, he immediately sensed a presence beside him. Cracking open first one eye, and then the other, he took in a vision. A blonde-haired angel sat in a wheelchair at his bedside.

"Hi there, Sleepyhead. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up." Her voice was still hoarse, her volume barely above a whisper.

Reid struggled himself upright. "Hi yourself. God, it's so good to see you, JJ." He reached a hand in her direction, and she clasped it in both of hers.

"I'd get up and hug you, but I'm under strict orders. Apparently they're afraid I'll topple over," she said. "How do you feel?"

He beamed. "Better, now. Great." Punctuated by an unfortunately-timed bout of coughing. "Well...almost. Maybe."

JJ smiled, and kissed the hand she held. "That's my Spence."

She settled his hand in her lap. "What a pair we are, huh? We survive getting nearly blown to bits by a terrorist bomb, and then we both get deathly ill from breathing a little sprinkled dust."

He squinted at her, vaguely uncomfortable with what she was saying. "Do you remember that? The powder? Coming to the hospital?"

"I remember all of it. Well, that part, anyway. And I remember you coming to me when I was losing it." She squeezed his hand once again. "And then I remember waking up the other night. Will says it's a good thing I don't remember in between. I guess I was pretty sick. But you probably don't even know about that, right? We both breathed the powder at the same time. I'm guessing you were out of it that whole time, too. Weren't you?"

That was when it hit him. And he knew it immediately as the thing Kimura had been holding back.

She doesn't know.