Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.
"Now, of all things, there's lizards!" one guard complained. The lizard he griped about was hitting him in the face with its tongue. Ataru's chaos plan was in full motion. The militia lizards were tearing the place up, eating tapestry and rugs, terrorizing the staff, biting guards and eating the clothes off the maids and waiting women. All the while, Ataru moved stealthily through the castle to his room, where he would be discovered post incident and not assumed responsible for the incident. Finally, he was in familiar territory.
"My room should be near here" he said. For once in his life he was ignoring the shrieks of the scantly clad women around him and concentrated solely on escaping blame for causing all the ruckus. Getting back to his room was the only thing on his mind, but now as he was within steps of returning to his sanctuary, the thought of his single-minded objectiveness got to him.
"Well, maybe I can enjoy the scenery a little" he thought. "No, there's guards around here too. They aren't your average, brainless Mendo-grade grunts. They'll piece two and two together eventually if they see me out. Then again, why am I in such a hurry? It's not like Kalu will be able to find me either. The lizards really hate her for some reason. I won't get busted. I need to calm down." So Ataru stood in front of his door, laughing to himself for a while. The floor was quickly cleared of all personnel and lizards, leaving him alone to stare at his door until the finish on it peeled. After a while, he just went in with a sigh and locked the door to cement his alibi.
"Lady Kalu!" Luko called as he ran down the halls with his sword handy, "if you can hear me, barricade your door! The militia lizards have mysteriously escaped!" As he ran past Ataru's door, he thought he'd check in with the soon-to-be groom in light of the developments. "Sir Ataru, are you alright in there?"
"Huh?" Ataru jumped. "Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on out there? I heard screaming."
"It's nothing to be wildly concerned about, sir" Luko said. "The lizards have escaped somehow. Just stay inside for the time being."
"Awkk!" squawked one of the lizards. Luko turned his head and saw the whole army facing him down. They took a step forward and frazzled Luko's hair. The next thing Ataru heard was the running away of leather boots and the advance of nearly a hundred furious lizards. Once the stomping passed, he unlocked his door and peeked out again. The hall was empty once more, just a ruffled carpet and panicked marks on the walls.
"Well that was easy" Ataru told himself.
"ATTENTION!" blared a voice over the castle-wide PA system. "This is not an emergency, so evacuation is not necessary. The lizards are currently pursuing Luko outside and through the jungle, where they will eventually disembark and return to their nests. I suppose Luko will come back as well...maybe."
"No one likes that guy" Ataru noted.
"Please remain within the premises" the voice continued. "The wedding will be prepared by late-afternoon due to the setbacks. Please report quickly to your work posts and continue working!" The PA went off and Ataru leaned back, catching his head with his hands. It was still the morning and he had already set the wedding back twice since he got there. If all went according to plan, he could set it back even further.
"All I need is one more push" Ataru told himself. "If I can get it pushed back to tomorrow, even by the morning, I can ditch this planet with everyone!" Still, a nagging question was poking at the back of his head. "Although...why would I want to escape this desperately? Just because I'm getting married, or because I'm concerned about Lum...?"
Speaking of Lum, she wasted no time in getting her team suited up and moving out through the forest. She didn't care about anyone's state of health besides Ataru's, and even Benten kept a few steps behind her friend as they sped through the jungle thick.
"This is getting old" Sakura pointed out. "I'm beginning to get familiar with these trees..."
"At least you're wearing loose clothing" Tsubame pointed out. He was scratching himself all over like a monkey and made an uncomfortable face. "This suit is bunching up in the worst possible way!"
"So take it off!" Sakura growled.
"He can't dummy!" Eukeriel, the fairy yelled from under Tsubame's hat. "The suit helps him channel power. Even I know that, stupid-hair!"
"What's wrong with my hair!?" Sakura shouted. Eukeriel just stuck out her tongue and shut herself back in her master's hat. "We're getting rid of her the first chance we get" Sakura ordered. Tsubame nodded at her.
"This sucks" Ran growled. "Why should I care about stupid Moroboshi? He's not my fiancée!"
"We're not really doing it for him" Ryuunosuke said. "We're doing it for Lum. If we refused to help, she's either get really sad again or shock us to death."
"Hmph" Ran huffed. "Good point, but I still shouldn't be going along with this."
"Please cheer up, miss Ran" Asuka pleaded. In the past few days, Ran had learned, among other things, that Asuka was scary when she got scared or angry. Therefore, she forced a smile so the super-strong girl wouldn't force a smile that would split her face apart.
"Thatta girl" Ryuunosuke said with a grin.
"I refuse to believe this" Mendo grumped. "I'm using my valuable time and physical resources to bail Moroboshi out of a marriage to someone other than Miss Lum!"
"Oh, quite griping" Tobimaro said. "It's not like you have a chance with her anyway."
"Shut up!" Mendo growled. "That's not true!"
"It is true" Ryoko said. "She wouldn't show this kind of aggression if you were captured."
"So?" Mendo said. "That isn't proof of admiration. This persistence of hers is cute, granted, but it is only for a temporary lust of hers. She will come around eventually."
"Come around to what?" Tobimaro asked. "Your perverted mid-day fantasies and distorted view of reality outside the rich house?" He noticed, however, that Mendo's lucidity was gone and he was walking through his own personal dream-land. "Idiot..."
"Isn't he though?" Shingo agreed.
"Hey Lum!" Benten called to her speeding friend ahead. "Are we almost there?"
"I don't know" Lum admitted. "I know it's in this direction, just not how far away we are...we'll get there eventually, okay?"
"Eventually isn't good enough!" Benten demanded.
"We must be close" Oyuki pointed out. "There are less and less dinosaurs around now, signs of nearby industrialized areas such as a village or, in this case, high-maintenance castle. We should be there momentarily."
"Good" Lum said. "The sooner we can rescue Darling and blow this stupid planet up, the better!"
"I suggest we hurry" Oyuki said, "as Kalu had most likely anticipated our actions and is holding the wedding early today."
"Then she's as good as dead!" Lum growled, cocking her electric gun.
"Miss Lum!" Nagisa called, speeding up to the front. "Everyone is becoming very impatient. Are we nearly there yet?"
"I don't know" Lum said. Then, the forest stopped and Lum and company went running out into the open area in front of the castle. In the distance, a blue-haired swordsman was facing off against an army of lizards, and of course the castle defenses were up and running.
"Intruders at the west gate!" the guard in the tower reported. All he got back was static. In the receiving room, the guards still weren't back from the lizard attack, so Lum's team went unnoticed for the most part. "Hello? They're attacking. I repeat: they are atta-GACKAH!!!" Tobimaro took the initiative and batted the entire tower away. He shrank his mace back to normal size and mounted it on his shoulder triumphantly.
"Show off" Mendo groaned.
"Well you weren't doing anything" Tobimaro shouted. "All you could do was fantasize about Lum!" Lum turned around curiously, and the boys looked away nonchalantly. The less she had to worry and zap, the better.
"Okay" Lum began, "let's begin! Operation: Rescue Darling, GO!"
"Aye!" Benten sounded off. She took a step forward, dropped to a knee for balance, and let her bazooka automatically extend out. She wasted no time in making a new hold in the outer gate and blasted a path into the huge, west-wing inside garden area.
"Oh, this place again" Mendo sighed.
"RUSH!" Benten commanded. The Earthling militia went running in with guns ready to blaze in search of the missing Moroboshi.
"What now?" Kalu groaned in her dressing room. The blast that Benten made just a second earlier shook most of the castle, and smeared her make up in the process. Now the wedding would be pushed back again, as the make up process Kalu was devoted to took well over an hour. "Are the guards back on duty yet?"
"Yes, your highness" a servant said.
"Then get them down there!" she screeched. "And you!" she pointed to a waiting woman, "get Ataru into the chapel! I don't want him moving from there until the ceremony is over! The more things we get done beforehand the better." The maid nodded and sped off to Moroboshi's room.
While in his room, Ataru wasn't still. He had been working to find a way out for the night escape since he was locked in by Luko. Now, his efforts seemed to be paying off, as he finally figured out a way to get down to the ground safely.
"Now I just need a couple minutes of diversions to get this done..." he told himself. He draped his corded rope of sheets and other clothes out the window and let it swing down to the next window down the tower. He was about to test it out when he heard a door open and close behind him. He was paralyzed, caught in the act, and very slowly turned around. Inaba was standing in his room and scratching his leaf-ridden head.
"That's the last shortcut I take" Inaba said. "Oh. Ataru! You're here!"
"Well yeah" Ataru said, "it's my room. What're you doing here?"
"I'm here to rescue you" Inaba announced. "Are Lum and the others here yet?"
"I'm not sure" Ataru admitted. Just then, the tower was shaken and a loud explosion was hear somewhere in the castle. "Oh, yeah, that must be them!"
"Great" Inaba said. "Come on, let's leave."
"Great plan" Ataru said. Inaba opened the real room door into the hall, looked about, and heeded Ataru to follow him. The great escape plan was fast in action!