Disclaimer: Owns natta. 52

Luna: I can make as many excuses as I want, but this is what happened. 1. Regents. They're gay and take up all your time. 2. I've finally gotten a job and 3. I've been working on an original story for a while now…So that's why this is perhaps the most delayed thing since Kingdom Hearts 3.I love everyone, love you guys so much ::grins:: and I promise since its summer now, I won't neglect anymore!

Chapter 38: More excuses than…well, me.

" We need to get that summon spirit and examine it til it dies!" cried Raine, foaming slightly at the mouth.

" Uh…Well, shouldn't we go back to Palmacosta to rest?" asked Mithos, blinking.

" All right. Random character deaths does a lot out of me, so yeah! Let's head back." said Lloyd, dumbly.

Genis was strangely grateful. He turned and said, " Wow, Mithos! I never realized that you weren't completely useless until now! I'm so happy we're friends!"

If that wasn't the biggest guilt trip ever, I don't know what is.

" Er…yeah, me too…" he said, looking away.

Our band of heroic rag-tag friends goes back to Palmacosta and finds Neil, whose doing the usually. Getting stoned.

" Everyone…whats up…?" he asked, mellow.

" Is that a smoke cloud of…pot?" asked Genis, staring.

" Pot? Cooking pot smoke?" asked Colette, deadly serious.

" No, honey. Blunt smoke." Zelos said, sighing.

Of course, Zelos would know all about that.

" Neil, I would say I'm sorry, but your too baked to care." Mithos said.

" Uh…okay."

" You can relax, the Palmacosta ranch is no longer operational." Raine stated.

" Sweet…" he said, but they could tell he was too stoned to really listen.

" And now we're gonna go on a pretend quest of world regeneration that's really a conspiracy, like Area 51." Lloyd added quickly.

"…I'm hungry." said Neil, and left them there in his office so he could scavenger for food. Ah, munchies.

As you can plainly see, Palmacosta was on a sure, one way track to government success right here.

" Does anyone else feel like they were sorta just undermined a bit?" asked Lloyd, suddenly.

" All the damn time," Zelos muttered, to no one but himself; and everyone was too thick headed to hear.

Genis decided now it was a great time to give Mithos back his crappy flute. Without even bothering to check its condition first, he reached in the deepest depths of his pockets...wait…Genis doesn't have pants pockets; does he? So…where exactly…

Plot Hole 53, for everyone who has no pockets but manages to carry a million things; anyway. Seriously, where does it go!?

So Genis shoved his hand SOMEWHERE and produced the flute. Which was currently a hand full of splinters and woodchips.

Genis' short life flashed before his eyes.

" I don't wanna die a virgin!" he cried.

" Ha ha! Genis' a virgin!" cried Lloyd.

" So are you!"
Zelos stared at them as if they were aliens.

" Lloyd, you're a virgin? Your 17, for God's sake! What are you waiting for, loser?" he cried, because apparently, once your 15 and haven't had sex you're considered abnormal.

If your Zelos and a manwhore, that is.

Mithos, meanwhile, was shaking like a leaf. Red in the face, and trying to suppress the urge to kill, kill, KILL.

" I know! Duct tape!" cried Lloyd, " I mean, I am an expert craftsman!"
"…And he made Ex sphere crests how again?" asked Sheena, confused.

Raine showed them her hand. It was a duct taped with the stone embedded in it. Looks like she got her answer.

" No! haven't you done enough already!?" Mithos screamed, and then; composed, " Its fine, it was old and ratty, anyway."

" Are you sure?" asked Genis, heart beat returning to normal.

" Yes." his teeth were clenched.

" Was the flute made of something special?" asked Raine, continuing to prod the bleeding wound that was Mithos' loss of his flute.

" I don't know. But maybe if someone didn't break it, I wouldn't of been asked it and you could've figured it out yourself." he glared.

" Wow, grudge much? It was just a flute," said Colette, who had a death wish.

" You'll be the first to die." he muttered.

" Huh?"
"…It was made from an extinct nut."

At this Zelos started to laugh. Because he's that mature.

" That knowledge may be useful later on." Raine decided, taking notes, " I would ask you all to remember it for later, but I know Regal and I are the only ones with half a brain."
"…That hurts." Genis mumbled.

" What now?" asked Zelos, because everyone had to be constantly doing something.

But they knew, they all knew what was coming. Colette was the most oblivious of all to actually say it, though. She drew a breath and said, " We need to tell Yuan about Botta."

And, as if it was the 5th grade again, and they were all standing in a playground and half their age and size; everyone screamed " Not it!" in unison. Except Lloyd.

" Aw! I don't want to break the news about him dying and us failing to kick open a 6 inch thick steel door!" Lloyd whined, " Can't we draw straws?"
" I'll do it!" offered Colette, slyly.

" Really? Thanks Colette!"
" Okay!"

" Your-"

"-(1) hair is everywhere! Screaming infidelities!" sang Lloyd.

Colette just sighed, and whispered something in his ear. Needless to say, his face turned the color of sour milk, Sheena looked like she wanted to wring Colette's neck, and Zelos was having more fun than that time he cut himself and almost hit a vein.

I'll let you decide what she demanded.

Long story short, they went to Yuan's base, and Lloyd decided to tell Yuan the news. Mithos stood outside, to build a sandy grave for his flute splinters. Genis offered to stay, and Mithos offered to tear out his tongue from his ass.

" So, uh, Yuan…" said Lloyd, awkwardly, " BOTTASDEADKTHANXBYE!"

Yuan blinked at him.

" Our fearless leader here means your buddy Botta kicked the bucket." Zelos explained, as sympathy-filled as a sociopath.

" Oh." said Yuan, unfazed.

" Well, that wasn't so bad…" Lloyd said, to himself; though slightly surprised.

" Dude, didn't you like, work with him awhile?" asked Zelos.
" So?"

Seriously folks, Yuan didn't really seem to give a damn when he died. I'm not making this up.

Sheena, on the other hand; was kinda jealous and annoyed at Colette.

" What did you say to Lloyd?" she asked, trying to sound less annoyed and more curious.

" Nothing…" she said, mischievously.

And as she walked away, Sheena mumbled to herself, " She's-"

"-(2) got a body like an hourglass and its ticking like a clock!" sang Lloyd, he had amazing hearing.

"-such a whore."
" Then we'll activate the dimensional transfer system. You may go between the worlds as you like," Yuan said, as if his friend didn't just die a watery death.

" And while we're totally not caring about Botta being dead, here's the Rherid Mithos borrowed," said Raine.

" Borrowed one of our Rherids? What…" he asked, bewildered.

" What's wrong?" asked Presea, the only one who caught that.

" No, it's nothing. We'll take care of it. Ask the control room staff about procuring energy for the dimensional transfer system," he continued.

" There's a 78 percent chance that could be used as later foreshadowing." she announced, suspicious.

" yeah! I agree, completely," said Genis, clueless but wanting her to pay attention to him like a starving man to Mc Donalds.

" Yuan…I'm sorry." said Lloyd, and scratched the back of his head.

And, when everyone left, as if to confirm Presea's prediction; Yuan said, " We have all our Rheirds…what is he talking about?"

Wow, everyone really likes thinking out loud nowadays; huh?
Lloyd and friends returned to Mithos, who was holding a candle vigil for the flute.

" Welcome back. Can we go now?"
" Yeah, sure." said Lloyd.

And the went to Altessa's house. Because, you know, dumping off metro sexual baggage on everyone is OKAY. Its not like Mithos is eating all his food, using the bathroom constantly, breathing their air or taking up space. No…

" Well, you have fun at Altessa's house, Mithos!" Lloyd cried, as he left him there.

" Fun? Don't leave me with that smelly old man and that creepy doll that he has constant-" he began.

" Okay! I'll visit you later!" Genis cried, and flew off, too.

" Fine, whatever. Good luck catching the bastard who killed your sister," said Mithos, to Presea.

" Thank you." she said.

And they left.

Mithos sighed. Time to check his Myspace and upload pictures of himself looking depressed, introspective and or mysterious. After all, what else was there to life but to upload pictures?

" Someone killed Presea's sister?" asked Regal, wiping the sudden nervous sweat off his brow.

" Oh, that's right. We forgot to tell you about Presea's sister. She got murderized." Lloyd explained, in his most descriptive terms.

" Ahh, hey you guys wanna randomly change the subject? Isn't my hair more bouncy and voluminous than Colette's?" asked Zelos, quickly.

" What!? Is not!" she protested.

" Zelos! How could you compare your hair against the subject of someone being murdered at a time like this?!" cried Genis, appalled, " She was killed!"
" Killed?" asked ever so innocent Regal.

" Just like Colette's split ends."

" HEY!"
" She was killed by her master-" Sheena tried explaining.

"-cause she was a sex slave-" Zelos offered.

" Shut up you! Making jokes at a time like this!"
" Sister! It can't be…" Regal said, totally blowing his cover…for me, anyway; everyone else is a bit slow, remember, " What was her name?"
" Alicia…" she replied.

" I see…I think I know the murderer."

" Seriously?! Score, let's burn his ass!" cried Lloyd.

" Take me to-" began Regal.

"-(3) Funky Town! I want you to take me to-" sang Lloyd, man; I'm on a roll today.

So they went to Altamira, where Regal asked, " How did you hear about Alicia?"
" At her grave at the oil company at the sky."

" I see…let's go there, then."

And when they got there and when you just KNOW that Regal is going to confess…something happens. Cause they need to prolong it and make it suspenseful. Oh. Yeah.

Regal got to the scene as the guard was dying.

" Whoa! What's going on?" asked Lloyd, wide eyed.

" Vharley…cheap…fat joke…killing…" he mumbled, and fell dead.

Leaving the dead NPC, the gang goes up the elevator where Vharly is harassing everyone's favorite butler looking dude.

" Tell me the password to the Mine, now!" cried Vharley, trying to intimate George.

" Twinkies." George replied.

" What? Where!"
" How about I tell you instead?" came Regal, approaching.

" So the president himself is hoarding the Twinkies!" He accused, pointing.

" President?" asked Lloyd, blinking.

" The route to the Toize Valley Mine opens by my voice print and cornea scan. Forcing it open would undoubtedly cause the Exsphere mine area to collapse." explained Regal, " And I have no Twinkies."

" Too bad! Looks like you'll have to come along, then!"

" I think not. Besides, Rodyle is dead. You don't have anyone to unload huge numbers of Exspheres on."

Oh, this truly was a war of wits right here. I about fell asleep at my controller.

" Are you stupid? I don't need Rodyle. I've got the Pope himself on my side! And there's plenty of people around who'd love to get their hands on some Exspheres!"

"…Can we like-" began Colette.

"-(4) sometimes I wish I could be like a boy!" sang Lloyd.

"- just fight him…?"

Everyone stared at him. Lloyd shrugged, he couldn't control his lyrical diarrhea of the mouth. Ew…that's a really gross analogy…

" That's enough!" cried Presea, ignoring the outburst, " There's a 99.9 percent chance I will slice your head off for being a murderer and an 80 percent chance you'll die a premature death of obesity and high blood sugar!"

Before she could slice his head off, or all those Big Macs would catch up to his sad self; Kuch- whatever that ninja dude appeared. His new name is K, because his name is long and pointless. Like my life.

" K! Why!" cried Sheena, surprised.

He shrugged, and ran over to Vharley. Together, they disappeared.

" Are you alright, George?" asked Regal, going to the butler.

He nodded.

" My name is Regal Bryant. I was granted the title of Duke by His Highness, and also the president of Lezareno Company. Although, it would seem that the Chosen already knows me." Regal announced to Lloyd's party.

Whoa.

Just whoa.

PLOT POINT!!! Dun dun DUN!
Luna: This was lagging to write, so I'm gonna end the chapter here. Songs are: 1. The Quiet Screaming-Legion Of Doom, 2. Misery Business-Paramore 3. Funky Town- some old band and 4. Like a Boy-Ciara.