SOOKIE AND HADLEY: BLOOD SISTERS
Chapter Thirty Five, 'Freindtervention'
A/N: Thanks for all the amazing support for this fic, It's so great!
Enjoy... Pam's Punishment...
A few more Vamps came in, Bill handed out t-shirts. It was still a good thirty minutes till the club opened. Some sort of commotion at the door caught my attention, "Do I look like a fucking fangbanger asshole, get Sookie or I'll turn you into a cat-asshole," Amelia had arrived, I giggled as I went to recue John-Joe from a fate as the world first Vampire cat or Amelia from draining.
"It's okay, John-Joe it's my bad I should have said a couple of friends where stopping by, let them in," I looked kinda sheepish, John-Joe looked none too pleased, he was a hard assed cowboy from Texas one of Godric's Vamps , now ours. Begrudgingly he let them passed. Fangs down eyes locked on Amelia.
"Hey sorry about that girls, thanks so much for coming and you've brought a friend," I smiled brightly at them, even though that came out more bitchier than I meant, but I hated surprises. Amelia step forward and gave me a hug, broadcasting loudly that she was excited and my God the tanned woman on the front of my tee-shirt looked shocking, were her thoughts.
"Heynicetoseeya. This ismysister, Gladiola," she nodded towards a woman that couldn't have been any more different to Diantha if she tried.
"Cool, nice to me you, come on over to the bar we'll get you all a drink and some t-shirts," I said with a conspiratorial wink. "You'll get to met my sister Hadley tonight, in a bit," I added as I walked them to the bar.
Longshadow stood at the bar looking sullen, it was his look but that didn't mean, he did anything about owning it- such a douche. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot? "Hi," I said to him, "just order what you want, Mr smiles here will get it for ya, you look like you could use some cocktails," I smirked. Longshadow growled, he hated making cocktails. I felt guilty for a few seconds, I should dial it back a little I thought, some fangbanger always paid the price of our piss take.
I knew the minute Eric had entered the bar, the happy feeling buzzed like nothing else in my body, "Eric is here," I grinned at the girls a few seconds before he blurred up to me.
"Lover," his voice pure sex, boy if it didn't tighten things down below.
"Eric," I breathed, like one of those wanton women with heaving bosoms on the front cover of a mills and boons. His lips descended on mine, he devoured me. Moaning into his mouth I forgot where I was-almost. If Amelia's mental voice hadn't been screaming, GET A ROOM so loud, I might have let Eric take me then and there. Reluctantly I pulled away from him.
"Missed me huh? Big guy," my eyes twinkled with amusement.
"Just a little," he smirked back, nipping at my jaw.
I cleared my throat, nodding towards the girls, "I want you to met some friends of mine," that sounded so odd coming out of my mouth 'friends'. But then again I was now the proud owner of two kitties so maybe it was high time I had some friends too.
Eric surprised me, "Daintha, Gladiola how is your uncle, well I hope?"
"He's doing great, busy as always," Gladiola smiled, seeing my confusion, "Our Uncle is the Queens lawyer and Eric has been a family friend for years, taught both of us how to handle a sword," she added for my benefit. Okay wow. Once again I am proved, how small the Supe world is.
"This is Amelia Broadway, fastest witch of all the west, I guess that makes her wicked witch of the west," I winked at her as I grinned, at my own joke.
"Witch, I believe thanks are in order for your fast work at The Point," he smiled turning on the charm. Oh dear panty dropping charm, poor Amelia.
Amelia had temporarily lost the ability to talk, however she was thinking hot Eric looked and what a lucky, lucky girl I was because she thought Godric was hot, but now she'd seen Eric she was afraid her panties would catch fire. Miss Amelia Broadway had a very active imagination, a very dirty active imagination, I cocked an eyebrow at her.
Well at least she had the decency to look embarrassed, "What, puhleeese, as if you don't think the same thing. Quite frankly, I don't even know what you are doing here, personally I'd never leave the bedroom," Amelia huffed. Funny. I like her, she'll do. She wasn't done yet, "all I want to know is; is he in proportion?" she blurted out eyes wide, before she could even help herself. The two demons sniggered.
I looked up at Eric, who cocked an eye brow puffing out his chest. Still looking at him I answered, "Naw," then I smirked at Eric, as his face was a picture-shock, "he's waaay bigger," I added before I broke out in a huge all out grin with giggles.
"Hot damn, you don't say," Amelia's voice had taken on a dreamy quality, her eye's afar away look, as she stared at Eric like he was a unicorn or something equally bizarre. She's nuts- I love her! Crazy bitch. Or should that be crazy witch.
Eric chuckled, "Come, Pam will be here soon and she suspects something. Damn child is too, intelligent for her own good." I showed Eric all the preparations. I think Eric hated Abby, more than he hated Pam quoting dear Abby to him. Which is a tall order, but the tale tell sign had been when he glamoured Abby to not be such an annoying fuckwit, his words not mine. Don't quote me, it's just a guess he hated her.
The club was in full swing, when Pam entered with Hadley, immediately her eyes narrowed as she took in the sea of Fangbangers clad in white t-shirts. The white tees had a picture of Pam with her terrible fake tan and the dog called Muffy. The words; 'friendtervention' emblazoned across the front and 'The Tanning Has to Stop'. The sea of Fangbangers parted, finally her eye's settled on Eric and I, she looked pissed. Really, really fucking pissed- it was wonderful. Pam turned to leave, I could feel the rage radiating of her. Too much, oh dear. Can dish it, but can't take it? or is it the Northman/ Stackhouse whole new level you object too? I thought.
"Not so fast Pamela," Eric smirked like the dog that ate cat that ate the cannery, I giggled. Pam's eyes widened, she fucking gulped. Classic.
"Yeah, Pamela this has been going on long enough," I said like the cocky little shit that I am. "You need to accept a tan on a Vampire is so not a good look sweetie, let us help you with this addiction," I put on my best sympathy voice. Hadley was catching flies, it was Eric's turn to chuckle as pure amusement zipped back and forth between us. I loved the way his eye's glittered when he was up to no good- so damn sexy.
Pam looked like goldfish, opening a closing her mouth a few times before speaking. "I don't have an addiction to fake tan," she spat out addressing the club as much as us. I could feel it coming, hell I could hear it coming. Then it was here; Abby burst on to the scene mic in hand.
"Ah ha...Sweet, dear baby girl" she began, oh no she did not just call Pam over two hundred and fifty years old a sweet dear baby girl. Oh shit, this better than I thought. I buried my head in Eric's back to stifle the laughs, oh yes there was a strong possibility I would wet myself.
"DE-NILE, is a river in Egypt honey. We are in Shreveport, I am Abby of Dear Abby and this is my new show Ask Abby coming direct from downtown Shreveport, Louisiana. Your friends are worried about you, sweet child we are going to face this addiction together...tonight, this is your Friendtervention Pamela Ravencroft, the fake tan has to stop," she finished dramatically. Several things happened during Abby's spiel; first off the fangbangers looked like they were watching tennis glamoured, they went from looking at Eric, Abby and I on the dais to Pam near the door that lead to the employee entrance. Secondly Pam's face shifted from murderous to awed when Abby introduced herself to raging when Abby said her full name. It was too funny, when I could no longer contain myself, Abby turned on me, I was hanging on to Eric for dear life in fit's of laughter.
"Oh you think it funny, well I don't. She needs to face this and face this now, today. I mean what woman Vampire or human would do this to herself?" Abby held up a picture of Pam with her day glow orange tan, the same one that was on all our t-shirts. Pam's facial expression settled on murderous. She looked between Eric and me. Oh good Lord, my face ached from trying to keep the grin off it.
"Now I believe, you are Pam's maker is that correct?" Abby thrust the mic into Eric's face. He placed his hands behind his back and simply nodded.
"You have to say the words honey it make better television that way," she grimaced at Eric. I choked, laughing and choking all at the same time.
"Yes I am her maker," Eric's eye's blazed angrily. Oh God this was like a two for one offer, happy days. I caught Hadley's eyes she was wearing a shit eating grin, I winked at her, she just shook her head at me.
"Now tell me, did she not receive enough love as a baby Vamp?" Abby pressed.
"Love?" Eric said like it was foreign concept, which I guess and until a few month ago it was for him. "Listen to me woman," Eric's fangs ran out, "You will direct your questions to my childe only my childe do you understand?" giving her the full weight of his glamour. Shit.
"Yes," she answered blankly. For the next two hours Pam was grilled excessively on her obsession with fake tan. I caught sight of Bill and smiled, he smirked back at me shaking his head. I just held out my hand, palms up and shrugged to him across the room. Eric commanded Pam to listen to Abby and answer her and in very hushed tones not to kill her.
"I don't do fake tan it was a onetime thing, she put me up to it," Pam snarled for the fifth time, pointing at me.
"Pam, this is enough the jig is up, Thalia get the box," I said the last bit looking sad and solemn having regained control over my laughter. Thalia zipped way and then zipped back carrying a large box.
"Sweetie you need to face this it's just so sad, orange is so not a good look on you, stop hiding all the bottles everywhere, where we can find them. It's like a cry for help," tipping out the box Thalia handed to me all over the floor, about a hundred and twenty bottles of fake tan spilled out; each one with a sticker on it saying 'Pam's Tan, touch it you die.'
"Abby, there's more, it's just shocking, they are everywhere," I shook my head looking sad.
"Okay," Pam said holding up her hands, rolling her eyes, "What can I do, just love the colour orange?" she looked at Abby, her tone bored. Only Pam.
"First and foremost you need to be proud of what you are, a Vampire. Embrace the paleness of your skin, learn to love yourself. If you can't love yourself, who else is going to love you, honey?" Abby took Pam's hand in hers giving it a squeeze.
"Okay, I understand." Pam said to her, shooting daggers at me and Eric. Well it wasn't such fun anymore when she was going along with it. All too soon Abby declared the 'freindtervention' a success and was packing up, from her mind I know she was in a hurry to get a cup of coco and curl up with a the raunchy book she had been reading.
"Lover," I love how that sends a delicious naughty shiver down my spine when he says it, "I believe we have out done ourselves, it will be a while before Pam forgets this humiliation," he grinned. If ever I thought.
"Well I was thinking that maybe as her maker, you should nip this in the bud-now. Otherwise this little game of punking each other is quickly gonna get out of hand, I am just little old human," I left it hanging there. Not like me to back down but Pam could be... lets put this way Pam would be unlikely to know where to stop and I didn't want her to meet her final death because she pushed Eric too far. Scared, who me?
I introduced, Pam to Amelia (her eyes lit up) the two half daemons seemed to already know Pam, we enjoyed the rest of the night with drinks and banter. Pam giving Eric and I the evils every so often, you have gotta laugh.
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