We finally have power back at our house after almost two days! Definitely not any fun in this heat.

This chapter is APOV and we get a little more of her back story and more information on E/A's marriage. Enjoy =)

Song for this chapter is "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry.

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"I'm wide awake, and now it's clear to me that everything you see ain't always what it seems. I'm wide awake and yeah, I was dreaming for so long."

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APOV

As I stand in the window of my bedroom, wondering when Bella and Edward will arrive, I am struck with a strong sense of déjà vu. I was in this same position months ago, but things were so different.

I had been hurting deeply, and I had felt that no one was there for me. There have been many times in my life when I have felt that way, unfortunately. When I was a little girl, my parents were around but they never actually got involved in my life. They never participated in take your daughter to work day, my mom never helped out in my school classrooms, and they hardly ever made appearances at my tee-ball games. I remember thinking that the other kids were weird for having their parents around all the time…but then I realized that my family was the one with the issues.

Sometimes I still wonder if my parents ever really cared for me. I think they loved me, because I was their child and that kind of thing can often be unavoidable, but they never put forth that extra effort to show me any true affection. For most of my life, I craved affection and took it from wherever I could.

I'm not saying that my childhood was completely unhappy, because it wasn't. I did have a lot of fun times with friends and at school. But I could always tell there was something missing; some kind of love and affection.

And then there was Edward. I literally just ran into him one day in downtown Chicago…and the rest was a whirlwind of everything I had ever wanted. Love. Affection. A relationship.

Of course, that all came crashing down on me not that long ago. My marriage ended, and I lost the reassurance that Edward had been giving me for all those years. When he first left me, I felt like my life was destroyed and could never be the same. I saw what he had done to me and my marriage as despicable, and I vowed to myself that I would never take him back, but I couldn't hate Edward. Not after everything he had given me and done for me. He had allowed me to lean on him and use him for support for years, and I would never forget his generosity and strength.

When he left, I panicked that no one in my life would ever love me again.

That changed after I found out I was pregnant. Even though I hated the position that it put Edward and I in, I think that my surprise pregnancy saved my life. This baby gave me a reason to live again. I now had a new purpose in life, and that was to be a great mother. Shortly after Edward and I hammered out a custody agreement, I realized that if I was ever going to be able to give my child the love she deserved, then I needed to learn to love myself first.

And so I started seeing a counselor. The journey is slow but steady, and my counselor is helping me to overcome what has held me back and restricted me for so many years.

Despite what I had been through in my life, I would be a great mother. I would be on my daughter's side and support her, no matter what. I would let her live out her dreams and encourage her to be the best that she could be in life. And I knew that Edward would do the same.

Now what about Bella?

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Whew. Okay, I'll update again tomorrow! Please review, if the urge strikes you =)

Xoxo- Mel.