New Galactic Solutions

by keiman and kei

For the very first time ever, Gallifrey and the 3WA have a liaison officer. Subaltern Allison V Prydonia is a youngish (130) time lady and the youngest Councilor. This tale tells of her very first combined 3WA/Gallifreyan mission aboard her new 'flagship' and her new TARDIS. This will be the final 'rift in time' sequel which began so many yrs back w/ 'Xmas w/ the Dirty Pair.

38. Ch 37'Seymour'sDilemma'Hogan'sHangout'

NEW GALACTIC SOLUTIONS

Chapter 37

'Seymour's Dilemma' or 'Hogan's Hangout'

DISCLAIMER: Good morning to everyone! I am Sergeant Hans Johann Schultz, formerly der chief guard at 'Stalag 13'. Although I usually know NO-THING, today I know SOME-THING! I haf been asked (very nicely) by my new friend, Sub-Altern (Das ist a rank between captain and major!) Villa d'Etre, to read you dis pay-per so they vill be legal vhen ve share der viddy logs and viddy re-ports mit all uf you fine read-ers!

First, ve vant to thank Mr Tak-a-chi-ho for der use uf his creations and also all uf der other creators whose creations dot ve haf already used, are using or may use in der fu-ture. Danke schoen! Und, uf course, any vun may use our creations le-gally zo long as ve are given proper cre-dit for our own creations. Did I miss anything, Fraulein Helga? Ja, I vill miss my vife, but life must go on. Nein! Das ist not a smile on mein face, Fraulein! I just re-mem-bered an old joke dot Col-o-nel Ho-gan told me last veek!

Vhen last ve left you, der little blonde kid vas say-ing how much he liked der big bird ve are trav-el-ing in. Your turn, Na-ru-to. Ooh! Streudel! Der little cockroach has found der kitchen! I luf streudel!

Hi guys and gals! Naruto Uzimaki again. I'm settin' between my new fave gals- Sakura and Hinata. Like Schultzy jest told ya- we're in a rocket ship called 'Night Dreams' and we're headin' back to 'Minerva' fer Mr d'Etre and Ms Devlin's weddin'. We got a whole lotta new pals who was enemies afore we showed up.

Colonel Klink and the big fat general, Mr Burkhalter, are entertainin' us. Uncle Willy's playin' a fiddle and the general's tellin' us how he single-handedly knocked out three artillery batteries and a machine gun nest! The foxy little guy, Major Hochstetter told us that the closest that 'Fatso' ever got to the front was when his driver took a wrong turn on his way back to Berlin! Three of the guards are doin' card tricks while Miss Helga's helpin' Ms Devlin with her wedding gown. Oh and Miss Helga's gonna be a bridesmaid at the weddin' on Saturday.

Schultzy and Louie Lebeau haven't left the kitchen in hours! Andy Carter and Alvie Newkirk are in the arsenol checkin' out all the cool bombs and stuff. Uncle John (Kinchloe) and Auntie Teggie are at the comm relay console. Bobby Hogan and Tessa are in the transporter room and doin'- well, you know, man!

"Are you comfortable back here, children?" asked the tall blonde girl who told me that her name was Suzie Q Stinger. She was one of the ship's gunners. Children? She was only 17 and I was 15! Marshall Raven was in command and he had insisted on our 'babysitter'. Just because that robot kid had taken the PA system apart! Well, a few of us Ninja guys and gals had helped her. We'd been caught red-handed by 'Half Pint's partner, that weird-o 'coil collector' guy, Kyomo Mabuchi!

Another blonde lady named Winry Rockabelle and our chief engineer, Cyborg, were tryin' to put the PA system back together again. Mira had announced that she had forgotten how to reassemble the 'squawkboxes' and the onboard announcements stuff.

The rest of us had been confined to the 'star room'. Ino and Ten Ten have been glued to the 'window' ever since we lifted off from the new world which a lot of our pals will soon be calling home! Kakashi Sensei and Anka Sensei had dropped by earlier to make sure that we were all behavin' ourselves! Shizune Sensei was helpin' 'em in 'sick bay- she's like a real doctor, man!

The portals opened again and the 'Boss Guy' walked in. Marshall John Raven was a big dude, man! Even bigger than Might Guy Sensei!

"OK. We're almost to 'Minerva' and our bride-to-be has talked me into taking you off your house arrest. It's almost lunchtime and we'll be making planetfall right after dinner. Until then, you can have the run of the 'Night Dreams', but stay outta mischief. Now scat!" growled Mr Raven. We scat!

"Lunch is served, ladies and gentlemen." brayed out the cultured tones of Mr Peabody. Great! Winnie the Pooh and Cyborg musta fixed the PA system! We doubled-timed it to the dining hall where Sai, Rock Lee, Gaara and me got into an argument over who was gonna seat Hinata and Sakura and Ino and Tenny!

Anka Sensei solved the problem for us by ordering everyone to 'siddown and shut up!' We sat! I wasn't too hungry so I only ate 40 plates of ramen and noodles. I ate four slabs of the blackberry crumble that our new chef, Monsieur Lebeau, had baked. Schultzy served us while Miss Helga kept our cups, mugs and glasses full.

"I hope dot my fat sister vill find a hus-band, Vilhelm." said General Burkhalter, shoving three rolls into his mouth.

"Oh, I am sure dot she vill, sir." replied the cringing coward, Willy Klink.

"You don't have to call him 'sir' anymore, Willy. War's over." said Bobby Hogan who was tryin' to peek down Miss Helga's ample cleavage.

"Who vun?" asked Schultzy.

"Who cares, mate? Right, Andrew? Do you want to come back to my place and look at me etchings, Darlin'?" said Newkirk. Tessa leaned over and whispered something into his ear. Alvie's face went very red.

"What'd she say, Alvie?" Andy Carter wanted to know.

"She said that she liked English prawns, not shrimp." replied Newkirk.

"Boy! Did you guys see all of those neat 'bricks' in the armoury?" asked Andy.

"What bricks?" asked Marshall Raven. Andy pulled out a 'Nitroglycine' block and amused himself tossing it in the air and catching it.

"Jeepers! If he drops that, it'll blow up, guys! No more floor!" I yelled.

"No more ship you mean! Give that to me, Andrew! Right now!" June Devlin deftly grabbed Mr Carter's 'toy' away from him in midair and stowed it away in her purse after she'd wrapped it in several linen table napkins.

"We can't take you anywhere that you don't try and blow something up, Andrew. What are we gonna do with him, Bobby?" said Johnny Kinchloe whose eyes were still on Teggie who was smokin' a cigar. Poor guy must be smitten, man!

"Sorry guys, I'm off duty- forever. You have lovely eyes." said Mr Hogan.

"You lay a hand on me, buster, and I'll yank yer arm off and shove it down yer throat, boyo." snarled Colonel Revy Roberts, our chief gunner. When Helga had left the table, 'Lagoon Girl' had slid into her chair beside Mr Hogan. "OK. Gimme a light, buddy." she snapped and he automatically flicked his Zippo for her cheroot. Then he fired up a cigarette for himself.

"Attention all hands! We're entering the 'Adonis Arch'. Won't be long now, folks!" blared out Danny Dastun's voice over the PA system. Chairs were noisily pushed back from the table and the bridge crew returned to their stations. I made a beeline for the 'star room' with Anka Sensei and her 'sealing jutsu' girls right behind me.

"Dibs on the 'window'!" I yelled and I hopped onto the sill and stared at the maw of the huge 'wormhole' in the cosmos! The 'Arch' was wider across than that 'New Holland Tunnel' that Suzie had told us about from her New York City place on ancient Terra. Suzie whistled. Suddenly, Mira 'Half Pint' streaked into the room and plopped down beside me on the sill. She'd been in such a hurry not to miss the 'Arch' that she'd raced in here right outta the tub! Of course, we use 'drying alcoves', not towels so- Mira was as 'nekkid as a jaybirdie' like Tessa would have said!

"Ooh! Is that 'Minnie Nervy', guys? It's really big, man!" squealed Mira before we chased her out and Anka Sensei said that 'ladies do not appear in mixed company in the altogether!' Kyomo sighed and went back to readin' his 'vid-pape'.

"June and Vill made the society page in the 'Minerva City Gazette'. New 3WA captain and former pirate to tie the knot with another former pirate, now respected 3WA Subaltern assigned to 'Shimougou's 'Elenore City'. Nuptials this Saturday will be officiated over by 'Chapel the Evergreen', the priest himself a former 'Gung Ho Guns' gang member. The happy couple will enjoy a three days' honeymoon on the 'Eye of Orion' before heading off on a 'secret mission' which details are unknown to this correspondent. A bunch o' other jazz about friends and family and stuff. And- Hey!" said Kyomo. Ino, Hinata and Sakura had grabbed the vid-pape right outta the poor guy's hands and were 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over the contents when June walked in with her own vid-pape.

"Reading about Vill and me, huh? It'll be nice to see old 'Evvy' after all of this time. I do hope that Reverend Nick (Wolfwood) can make it as well. Oh my! You guys make yourselves scarce! It's bad luck for a bride to be seen in her wedding gown by the groom or any other male before the ceremony!" yelped Ms Devlin so us guys went to the bar.

I did sneak a peek behind me and I saw Ms Devlin slippin' off her new furry bathrobe that she'd brought with her. Mr d'Etre said that it had been a prezzie from her Mom who was supposed to be handlin' the weddin' arrangements for this afternoon. High noon had come and gone and the weddin' was now scheduled for 1700 hours- 5 PM.

"If you haven't already done it, find a seat and strap yourselves in. We are touching down in five more minutes." said Danny's voice over the squawkboxes. The bar stools converted into armchairs with seat harnesses and we guys wasted no time in strappin' ourselves into 'em.

Just in time too! The big star cruiser bumped hard and then skittered to a stop, tossing us forward and then backwards! Kakashi Sensei righted my chair and Sai's before we fell over onto our backs!

"Wait for it, Neji." he said when he saw that Hinata's brother was starting to unbuckle his harness.

"Attention all hands! We have landed. We are down and safe. You may now unstrap. Thank you for flying with '3WA Air Express'. Disembarkation transporters will be activated momentarily. Please bring all of your luggage to the transporter pads when you report. Please be sure to have your proper ID vidcards and your offworld passports and visas as well. Dress blacks will be required at this afternoon's ceremonies. However, casual dress is OK for the ride to the 'Minerva Arms Hotel'. Please be certain sure not to leave any of your belongings behind because directly following the reception, Marshall Raven and his crew will be using the 'Night Dreams' for a supply run to 'Victorine'. That is all. Dastun out."

Danny seems to have found his true calling. He makes a swell dispatcher!

"You heard him, boys and girls. Back to your rooms and pack your gear. It is now 1250 hours. We will be transporting off at 1300 hours exactly. Make sure that you have all of your belongings and IDs and the rest of the red tape junk required offworld when you report. You have ten minutes. Dismissed." said Kakashi Sensei. I guess that the gals were bein' given the same orders by Anka Sensei.

Hullo there, everyone! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lady Luxtwana Troi Devlin Scott. Yes, I am both Deanna Troi's Mother and June Devlin's. My dear husband, Montgomery MacMurtry Scott lost his life in a warp core explosion some years back and I was a widow for two long years before I met June's Daddy, Admiral Gerald Devlin. My first hubby had been a Beta Zoid scientist, Dr William Troi. Sadly, he was pulled into a 'black hole' during a 'supernova' and I was consoled by his best friend, Scottie. June's father was killed during the 'Cloning Uprising' just a year ago.

June never knew her father because she was born while he was commanding his flagship and during her fifth birthday party, the tragic news had arrived of his death. I am very glad to hear that my dear daughter is to be wed and naturally, I immediately jetted over from 'Velcron' when dear Vittorio (My brother) asked me to handle all of the arrangements. My other son, Fleet Admiral Zachary Taylor Scott (He changed his name to Zero for some strange reason!) and my other daughter, Deanna, are helping me to co-ordinate all of the details with Mr Strutsalot, the wedding planner.

The vid-wireless set on the hotel's check-in counter just announced that the 'Night Dreams' has made planetfall! Now I am hurrying over to the spaceport in my royal coach limousine air car. What? Did I forget to mention that my father is 'Velcron's ruler- 'Troyden the Mighty'? Anyway, I just cannot wait to meet my new son-in-law to be and my lovely daughter. I haven't seen June since she stormed off to join the 'Galactic Legionaires' and instead got hooked up with that 'February' pirate person who enticed my lambie to join her 'Sol Bianca' crew of ne'er-do-wells!

Now she's a captain in the 3WA and, if I have anything to say about it, she's going to become a proper lady! Both of my girls and their brother are heirs to the throne of 'Velcron' after all. Stop here, Zygmont and please wait for me. Brrr! It's frigid! I should have worn trousers rather than this drafty gown! My parka, boots, hat, gloves and muff, CherylAnnie. Quickly, girl! No, you may wait here. I trust that I will not be too long.

I strode briskly to 'Offworld Customs' where I was waved through when I flashed my vidID at the charming young woman in the booth.

"Has my child and her fiancee come through customs yet, my dear?" I asked.

"And just what are their names, dearie? C'mon! I ain't got all day, sister!" snapped the older 'lady dragon' who was pawing through my handbag the same way that a 'hogasaurus' back home roots for 'truffles'! I flashed my vidID and showed her my royal orb.

"Oh my Gawd! Another fancy pants for that silly wedding, Gladdie! So ye're the bride's Mum, huh? And a queen too? My, my! How's it feel to have a crook for a kid, lady?" chuckled this obnoxious creature! My temper finally erupted and I grabbed the foul-mouthed bitch by her lapels and stared right into her hostile eyes. Then I 'did a sending' and the poor woman ran off screaming! You see, she thought that an 'Agrarian Devil' was chasing her! I am not a woman to be trifled with!

"Mummy! Vill! Come and meet my Mother, Dearest! We didn't expect that you'd come out in all of this cold, Mummy! Vill! Hail a 'holocabbie' for us! Come along, Mummy and let's get a nice hot 'kaffee royal' for ourselves while-" said my daughter.

"Pray do not exert yourself, young man. I brought the royal coach air car limousine. Come along now. Both of you. Please see that my daughter's and Mr d'Etre's luggage is sent to the 'Minerva Arms' immediately. Thank you. Zygmunt, pay the nice gentleman. Hurry, children! Let's get out of this cold!" I said, taking charge like I always do.

"Hmmn! Nice and warm in here, Mummy! Get in front with Zyggy, Dearest. Mummy and I have a lot of girl talk to do. Sherry? CherylAnnie Trumpell? You look so nice! You seem to have put on a bit of weight, dear." bubbled my child.

"Yes'm. And, if I may be so bold, mum- so have you. Too many 'banny splitters', eh?" giggled my child's former maid.

"OK, Sherry. Don't rub it in. Besides, Vill says that I am not fat- just pleasingly plump and that just gives him so much more of me to love! Have you met Symour yet? Mr Strutsalot? I feel so bad about leaving him with this much on his plate with so little time, Mummy! Excuse me! That was my tummy rumbling! I'm famished! Step on it, Zyggy!" said June and I settled back into the cushions. I closed my eyes while my child and Sherry chattered away like schoolgirls- which both of them once were. Sherry was more like a friend and confidante for my child than a servant.

You see, CherylAnnie is my adopted child. John Trumpell had been my father's chief huntsman and on one tragic fateful day, John's wife had been thrown from her steed beast and crushed by a huge boar beast which tore her apart. Then the creature had unsteeded my father. Father would have been gored to death had not John's powersword wounded him. Enraged, the beast had torn off poor John's head! Now their only child was an orphan! When Father explained to me what had transpired during the hunt, I had gone to John and Milly's home at once and brought their daughter back to the castle where Father explained things to her. She cried for an entire fortnight.

June had just begun school and CherylAnnie was only a few months her junior. Therefore, I was determined to adopt the girl which I did. Then I enrolled her along with June at boarding school. The girls graduated together and Sherry came very close to running off with June to seek her own fortune. Sherry became the only one of my children to remain with me on 'Velcron'.

"Mama! Did you hear what June just said? She and Vill have only three days for their honeymoon! Ain't that the pits, man?" said Sherry.

"Isn't and what have I told you about using slang words, my dear girl?" I replied, without opening my eyes. Was I getting old?

"Yeah and they gotta go on a 'secret mission' after that! And she won't tell me anything about it either!" pouted Sherry.

"I told ya, Sis. I am not 'allowed' to tell you anything about it. That's why they call them 'secret' missions, Honey. Are we there yet, Zyggy?" replied my child.

"Just a few more minutes, milady. Your wedding's causing a lot of traffic today. Aha! There's the 'Minerva Arms' now. Shall I park on the roof or in the docks, Luxy?" asked our old chaueffer who had once been Father's captain of the guard. Milly Trumpell had been his own child. His wife, Ursula, had fallen from the castle battlements and into the moat after a wild party and she had drowned. Devastated, Edward Zygmunt had resigned his commission and I had made him my driver. He has become a father figure to both June and Sherry.

"The roof, ducks. We have the whole top floor, remember?" said Sherry. No more 'Eastenders' and 'Coronation Street' for her! Such atrocious language!

"Have you been reading those disgusting 'Gerry Ransom' vidnovels again, CherylAnnie?" I admonished her and that was the end of the chatter. Do you think me a hard mother? Perhaps I am. However, my children are going to make something of themselves.

Edward braked to a halt and then assisted us from the coach. He shielded us from the wind and snow with his cloak and we hurried through the snow to the roof portals. The lift whisked us down one level to the penthouse suite. Mr d'Etre scooped up June into his arms and was prepared to carry her across the threshold and into the suite.

"That is something you do after you are married, sir. My daughter is perfectly capable of walking on her own two feet, Mr d'Etre." I said a trifle icily and he and his bride-to-be walked inside hand-in-hand followed by myself, Sherry and Zyggy.

"The prodigals return! Hullo there, Sis. Come over here to your old uncle, Junebug. Oh, Seymour's been going ga-ga waiting for you, Luxy. He just cannot decide on the tablecloth. Mr Smith won't let anyone see his 'masterpiece'- the wedding cake- until after the wedding. Bunch o' hoo-ha, in me own humble opinion, but- it's June's day, not ours. He's down in the main pavilion hall. Do something for the poor chap, will ya? Sit down, Sherry. Vill- you look like Mr Holmes standing by that fireplace. June! Where are you going now?" chortled my dear brother, Vittorio Francisco Xavier Galadriel, the 'God' of the 3WA and the Federation.

Sherry divested me of my outdoor garments and poured us all 'kaffe royals'. I swallowed mine quickly and slid into my slippers. Then Edward and I took the lift down to see if we could ease Mr Strutsalot's burdens. I spotted a lovely hanging tapestry with an old-fashioned hunting scene on it and I ordered that a tablecloth exactly like it should be 'replicated' for the cake table. Mr S approved and clucked his tongue approvingly. I had a hard time not calling him 'Humpty Dumpty'. He looked so much like the nursery rhyme character!

Somehow, June and Vill's wedding went off without a hitch. There was some grumbling from two girls named Molly and Susan when June told everyone that she had decided to use me as her matron of honour. Mr Raven and General Burkhalter were a bit peeved when June announced that her 'Uncle Vito' was going to give her away. Mr Hogan jokingly suggested that they draw straws for the job. However, in the end, everyone was happy for the wedding couple. Reverend Evergreen gave a very nice speech and then my Sis and Vill read their own vows to each other.

After the reception- the cake was shaped like a spaceship and coloured with red/white/blue icing- June's bouquet was caught by that grouchy lady- Rebecca (Revy) Roberts and we all laughed. She, however, tossed the bouquet up and this time, it was caught by old 'Ferret Face'- Major Hochstetter! We all laughed and he presented the flowers to Miss Helga. She smiled and kissed him so- another wedding soon maybe?

Sis and Vill boarded the 'Starlight Nova' star shuttlecraft and lifted off for their honeymoon- at last. We all cried- even that adorable little doggie of YanKumi's- Fuji!

"A lot of damned nonsense!" said the pipe-smoking white doggie- Mr Peabody. But he was still wiping tears from his eyes! Everbody cries at weddings, man! I was crying- partly because of the day and partly because I had just seen my big sister for the first time in years and now- who knows when I'll see her again?

Mama has just told me that Aunties Romana and Allison had just told her about a new school of deportment for young ladies which would be opening its doors in JunJul. They would begin accepting applications in MarAppy. The pits, man!

"Mrs Caldy (Romana) has pulled some strings for me and your application has already been approved. You will begin classes in the autumn. 'Gallifrey' sounds like a very nice planet and you are certain to mix with the right sort of young ladies there. No arguments, CherylAnnie Trumpell-Devlin! You are going and that is an end to this discussion! I have spoken!" said Mama and that was that!

"There there, dear child. 'Gallifrey' is a very nice place and the school's headmistress is a very old and dear friend of mine. You will have fun there and it will not be anywhere near as bad as you might think, Sherry." soothed Auntie Allie, but what did she know!

"Yeah, sure! How come you ain't goin' there too? You're almost the same age as me, ain't ya?" I sniveled.

"I am a good many Earther lifetimes your senior, my dear girl. I am both a 'Gallifreyan' and a 'time lady'. We measure our ages in centuries and millennia, not years. I just celebrated my 131st birthday a few monthlets ago." repied Auntie Allie. Was this lady for real, man?

"Um, yes. I am for real, man, my child. How strange your langauges are in this galaxy. Shall we see if there is any of that scrumptious wedding cake left?" replied Auntie Allie and I had a new respect for her. I had to- she was a witch! Otherwise, how'd she know what I'd been thinkin'? I found out later that she, like most 'Gallifreyans' and 'time persons', was a telepath and could read minds! Talk about weird, man!

We took our cake to the great room which was deserted. Everyone else had gone 'clubbing'- whatever that was- and Mama and Mr Strutsalot were arguing over Seymour's bill for wedding planning. Mama had tons of bread, man! She just liked haggling- a lot! I drew aside the draperies and since the Moons were up already, we decided to brave the night air and cold. We bundled up as warm as we could- I was wearing four sweatshirts and 3 pairs of ski pants under my snowsuit and parka!- and we ventured out onto the terrace which was as wide as am Earther football field and ringed the whole building!

"Sherry, sometimes we have to do things which we do not wish to do. I did not want to leave my home world. However, Grandfather Casterlein explained that is was for the good of our planet and galaxy and all of the other galaxies as well. Thus, I became both a 'liaison' and 'ambassador' to a brave new world. I apologize, but my mission is still a secret and I have sworn a blood oath not to tell anyone about it.

"The point is, dear child, that you must not be cross with your mother. She has only your best interests in mind. Besides, she will come and visit you and you will go and visit her and all of your friends from time to time, Sherry. Here. I want you to have this, my dear. It is a good luck charm. My father gave it to me and now I am giving it to you." said Auntie Allie.

She handed me a small pendant with an attached chain. The stone was as blue as the skies over 'Velcron' and it was very beautiful.

"That is a 'Mazarin Krystle'. Father found it during his travels. He gave it to me when I was three Earther years old and I have kept it and cherished it ever since. I had meant to give it to my own daughter, but- please do not tell anyone else this- not even Grandfather nor Father know this, but- I am 'barren'. That means that I can never ever birth any children. That is why I think of many of my young women friends as my own children. May I think of you as my own child as well, CherylAnnie? As my own little 'rice pudding girl'?" she said quietly and I slipped and almost fell onto my fanny!

Only my own real father- John Trumpell- had ever called me by that name! I stared at this strange woman. Then I began to cry.

"I'd be proud to think of you as anotther Mom. But- please don't call me your 'rice pudding girl'- ever. That was Daddy's secret and mine. Not even my real Mom knew about it. Mama does not know either." I whined and she dried my tears with her cloak.

"What are you two idiots doin' out here? It's 60 below, man! We're all goin' out fer pizza. You two wanna come? The scaredy cats on 'Nasbah' won't deliver in this weather so we're 'borrowin' Molly's new 'sky speeder'. She's passed out in the settin' room and Kouga snitched her vidkeys and codes. Wanna come? Hey! Nice necklace, Sherry. C'mon. Kouga's waitin' on the roof." said that nice dog-boy demon, InuYasha. Kouga was an ornery wolf demon and the two were inseparable.

"Why not? Do you some good, Sherry." said Auntie Allie and we hurried up the outside stairs to the roof. There were six of us counting Ino and Hinata. Molly's speeder seated five so I had to sit on Kouga's lap. InuYasha was piloting because Kouga was half lit. The wolf guy kept mumbling stuff like 'What's under this, Love?' and 'Wanna bear my kids?' and 'Where have ya been all my life?' It was the booze talking. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

I must have dozed off because I didn't even notice the 'ECP' patroller unit until it was right beside us. We had made it to 'Nasbah' and the pizzeria. The boot was loaded with pizza, steaks, burgers, chips, fries, onion rings, bread sticks, sodas, beer and wine and a big ice cream cake stowed away in the refigerated end of the boot. I blinked sleepily and yawned.

"Pull your vessel over and touch down, please. This is an order. Authority the 'Elenore City Patrol'." blared out the loudspeaker atop the patroller unit.

"Whassup, man?" yawned Ino.

"Oh dear. A policeman is signaling for us to land, sir." said Hinata.

"Tell him to buzz off, man!" mumbled Kouga.

"You had best obey their orders, Mr InuYasha." said Auntie Allie.

"I wonder why they want us?" I wondered aloud.

"Holy crap, man! Kouga! Gimme yer vidlicense, man! Mine's suspended. Remember?" whispered the big dog-boy demon.

"Huh? They 'atomized' mine, ya stupid mutt. 'Member?" grumbled a sleepy wolf guy.

"Oh yeah. Right after you bit that gal patroller's arm. Sheesh! Can't anybody take a joke?" growled InuYasha. I was wide awake now! Great! I can just see myself calling Mama from the slammer!

"I said land this vessel, sir, and that is an order." snapped Auntie Allie, fishing through her handbag (Huh? I thought that Mama was the only woman who still used handbags?) for her vidID cards and other official red tape junk.

"Down we go, guys." grumbled InuYasha. "I still say I could have outrun 'em, man!" he added, screeching to a jittery stop and popping the top just as the patroller vessel landed softly beside us. A visored officer hopped out followed by another. One strode up to Kouga's side and the other, the smaller one, approached InuYasha's side. And both of 'em had unclipped their holster guards and had their hands on their weapons!

"Vidlicense and vidregistry, please. You were doing almost half a Warp back there, sir. (InuYasha handed her- the officers had raised their blast shields. His side had a girl and ours had a guy underneath the visor- his vidlicense and Molly's vidregistry vidcard). Huh? This vidlicense is suspended, sir. Which one of you is Mrs Eastwood-Kelly?" asked the girl officer.

"This is a five passenger speeder and I count six. You agree, Sergeant Flynn?" said the guy officer and I batted my eyelashes at him. He ignored me! "That's a violation of City Ordinance 1477-A. I smell 'synthenol'! None of you clowns look like you're 25 either." he added and I had a queasy feeling in my tummy!

"I agree, Casey. OK. Everybody out and assume the position. Better call for a transport, Casey. Check the boot." ordered the girl who seemed to be Casey's superior. I heard the pop of the boot. Then-

"Nothing, ma'am. Just a spare drive and some tools. Holy Hell! This vessel belongs to a 3WA officer, Sarge! Hmmn. Not on the 'hot sheet' yet." said Casey.

"Owner's probably still recuperating from that wedding bash uptown. Yeah. Definitely stolen. This bunch took it out for a joyride, I suppose."agreed Sergeant Flynn who seemed to have more stuff on her uniform than did Officer Casey.

"Pardon me, mum? I think that I can clear all of this up. My name is Poe-Prydonia and I am the 'liaison officer' for 'Gallifrey' and the 3WA and the Federation. I am also a Marshall and-" explained Auntie Allie, handing the girl officer her vidID card.

"Stow it, sister! I've heard some wild ones, but yours takes the cake, man! OK, how old are you, Honey?" demanded Miss Flynn.

"One hundred and thirty. But what that has to do with this is beyond my understanding, Miss Flynn." replied Allie. Miss Flynn's flashlamp illuminator hurt my eyes when she shone it inside of the speeder.

"She seems sober enough. Maybe a little problem upstairs, Casey. In any case, Miss- you're 17 years old if not younger and it's well past curfew. Ah, here comes the transport vessel. All aboard, kids. No, I am not arresting you- not yet. You can comm relay your folks when ya get downtown. Casey, follow us in Mrs E-K's jalopy. OK. Wrists out, please. Everyone gets their own set of 'forced beam handcuffs'. Watch your step. Mind your heads, boys. Step right in there, 'Your Highness'. OK, George. Follow my patroller. We're going to 'Precinct 110'- on 'Goldsborough Boulevard'. Got that? Fine. See ya later, man." said Sergeant Flynn, hopping aboard her patroller unit and roaring off in the opposite direction to our home!

Next thing I knew, a big burly patroller guy grabbed my shoulders when we jolted forward and I lost my balance. I smiled and thanked him and he grinned.

"Her bark's a lot worse than her bite, Miss. Iola only got promoted to sergeant last week. This is her first 'bust' where she's the boss and she wants to look good." chuckled my new friend who told me that his name was Sean.

"You know her well, sir?" I asked and he grinned.

"Sure do, little lady. I'm her proud Papa- Lt Sean Flynn." he replied, beaming all over. He asked me point blank why we had stolen a 3WA vessel and I poured out the whole story to him. He listened and then laughed.

"I believe ya, Honey. Wait'll the captain hears this one, man! On the level now and on yer honour, girl. Is your friend really a 3WA Marshall?" asked Sean.

"Yup. Marshall Allison Victorine Sharon Poe-Prydonia. She's a 'liaison officer' and an 'ambassador' too. She's from 'Gallifrey', sir and that's the honest truth. Cross my heart and hope to die, sir." I answered and he swallowed hard a few times.

"Hey Tom! Was Iola really sure about that speeder being stolen?" asked the lieutenant through the grille of the transport.

"Yup. She comm relayed the owner and Mrs Eastwood-Kelly confirmed that her speeder was missing and that she had not lent it to anyone. A fair collar, Sean." replied Sergeant Tom Tremayne.

"I heard that signal too, Lieutenant, sir. Bunch o' kids out fer a joyride. Mebbe the justice'll go easy on 'em, sir." agreed Patroller Third Class Adam Carstairs who was piloting us. I thought that I saw light at the end of a long dark tunnel and a chance for us until Tom burst that bubble for me!

"Don't count on that, kid. This monthlet's justice is Chief Justice Martin van Roden." said Tom.

"Oh Christ! You kids are for it for sure, man! We call Marty the 'hanging justice'! His own kid's doin' time at 'Seto Kaibo', the penal colony planet- for swiping an air car and going for a joyride!" explained Sean. So that was that! I broke down and started bawling and so did Ino and Hinata. The guys were asleep and for some strange reason, Auntie Allison had shut her eyes and seemed to be in deep thought!

"Yankumi! Wake up, Boss! I just had a 'mind sending' from that short dumpy broad- Allison something or other! She said that somebody better get Molly and go to someplace called the '110th Precint' and fast! Something about her, the demon freaks, two o' Anka's girls and Sherry bein' arrested, man! Get up, Yankumi!" yipped Fuji, her ugly little doggie, yanking the covers off of 'Gokusen' the 'Yakuzza' princess/schoolmarm.

"Fuji! What's so blasted important that can't wait until morning? Hand me my flightsuit and go to the sitting room! I don't need an audiece while I'm dressing!" snarled the angry brunette.

"OK. OK. Just git yer keester out here quick! I can sense the gals bawlin'! I'm gonna go wake up Molly." growled Fuji.

"Hey! Wake up, Molly! Get up, girl!" yipped Fuji, yanking the covers off the sleepy Mrs Eastwood-Kelly and then excusing himself and running back to the sitting room. Molly sleeps in the raw!

Five minutes later, two very angry ladies wearing flightsuits and deck boots ran into the sitting room.

"Who else do we hafta wake up, mutt? What's going on anyway?" fumed Molly, fumbling in her fanny pouch for her vidkeys and vidcodes.

"What the Hell gives here? You got my keys and codes, Yankumi?" demanded Molly but the 'Gokusen' shrugged her shoulders. Fuji ran off and returned in a few seconds.

"Dog-Boy and Wolfie ain't here. Neither are Allie, Sherry, Ino or Hinata! Ya think that they been kidnapped?" growled Fuji just as Anka and Kakashi rushed into the room. Both Jonin Sensei were wearing flightsuits and boots. Fuji had been very busy tonight.

That was when Mira and I arrived on the scene, man. I was dressed in dark slacks and a tee shirt and I was pulling on tennis shoes. Mira was in her shortie nightie and her bare rounded, uh, posterior- was peekin' out from under the flimsy bit of silk. Her perky breasts jutted out proudly, revealing to us that she was not wearin' any undies- tops or bottoms!

I was about to send her back to bed when she yawned and spoke. "Whassup? The cops'll probably release those kooks tomorrow, man." yawned the robot girl and I grabbed her shoulders and shook Half Pint awake.

"What kooks? Spill it, Half Pint! What are you yammerin' about, man?" I demanded and she suddenly became aware of being half naked in mixed company. She gave a little yelp of embarrassment and sat on a sofa, drawing her knees up to her chin and trying to yank down her nightie to cover her bare behind. It didn't work though and she got very red in the face. Anka gave her a glass of apple juice and she explained.

"Some lady called from the local lock-up and asked me if Mrs E-K had lent her speeder to anybody. I said no and the lady said that they had just arrested Dog-Boy and Wolf Guy, Ino and Hinny, Sherry and Auntie Allie and to have the speeder's owner come downtown to press charges in the morning. So? It's all a mistake, man. They borrowed her flying car to fly to 'Nasbah' for pizza. I'm going back to bed. 'Night." she said and I spun her around and whacked her rosy derriere a good one.

"Go and get into your clothes and outdoor gear and bring my outdoor stuff. The rest o' ya better bundle up good and warm and we'll meet up here in 5 minutes. Move it, people!" I ordered and the room emptied out fast.

"Fuji, go wake up Tessa. She's got a brand new 'sky sled'. Tell her to dress warm and meet us in here in 5 minutes. Go!" I yelled and Mira ran back in draggin' my snowsuit and parka, boots, gloves and cap. She'd also brought along our vidIDs and offworld red tape. Molly had changed into her 3WA officer's uniform, her majors' clusters gleamin' like gold on her epaulettes.

"Dunno what difference a major will make, Kyomo. Alley Cat's a Marshall and they still arrested her! Knowin' Allie, she was probably apologizin' to the fuzz fer causin' 'em so much trouble all the way to the station house. She's such a wimp, man! Hurry up, gang! Gimme your keys and codes, Tessa. I'll pilot. Good! You're wearin yer first looey bars! You're my exec. I'm the CO. Got it? Great! Let's motor, guys! Somebody grab the pooch." ordered Molly and we all raced to the roof and piled aboard Tessa's new sled.

Molly roared off before I had even snapped the top shut! Tessa was beside Molly and I was in the front passenger seat. Fuji was on Tessa's lap. The rest of the gang were in the back seats.

"I wanna look outta the window!" yipped Fuji and Tessa lifted the pooch onto my lap. Bulldogs are small but man oh man, are they ever heavy!

"You said the '110th', didn't ya, Fuji?" yelled Molly. The engines were deafening!

"Yeah, Molly. Someplace downtown. Cool! It's snowin' again, man!" shouted the bulldog.

"Swell. Just what we need. Another storm and more wind. Wake me when we get there, Anka." said Kakashi, laying his head down on Ino and Hinata's laps.

"My hero. Well, we are engaged after all. Yankumi? You awake?" said Anka.

"Just barely, Anky. I was having such a nice dream too. Fuji was giving me away at my wedding to-" yawned Yankumi.

"And? Who was the groom, Yanny? Don't keep us in suspenders!" demanded Ino, flipping back her pompadour.

"Dunno, kid. That was when Fuji woke me up. Shoot! We shoulda called 'Uncle Chuck', man!" replied Yanny.

"I did. He's sending 'Mr Poo Poo' to the station house." yawned Kakashi Sensei.

"You mean 'Mr Popo', Dumbass. Aren't we there yet, Molly?" asked Anka and Molly pointed out the wind vidscreen.

"Just below us. Hang on tight. Here we go." replied Molly, dropping down onto the roof of a tall building and sliding to a stop. We all piled out and allowed Molly and Tessa to precede us through the roof portal and then we rode down to Level 1300 where Molly said that the 'Elenore City Patroller Dept' had their HQ and squadrooms.

"Hey! I thought Hall-o-we'en was over monthlets ago, man?" giggled 'Striper Yvonne Getraer', the desk sergeant-in-training.

"Don't you stand up when a superior enters the room, Striper? Tenn-Hutt!" snapped Tessa, standing ramrod straight and clicking her boot heels together like she had seen done on vidTV shows. The rest of us followed suit except for Mira. Half Pint had wandered off to find the ladies' facilities. That kid and apple juice! We were lucky that she hadn't had an 'accident' in the sled!

"Major Kelly, 3WA! I understand that you are holding- at ease, Striper!- holding five of my officers and ratings- and a visiting VIP- a Marshall- under some minor legal technicality. Well? What do you have to say fer yerself, Striper?" snarled Molly and I thought for sure that the poor kid was gonna start bawlin' or somethin'.

Instead she drew out six vidfile folders and handed them to Molly. Then she clicked her high heels together and saluted her.

"Ma'am! Your party is being held for further questioning and will be charged with several vehicular violations including- piloting with a suspended vidlicense, six passengers in a five passenger vessel, grand theft vessel, impersonating a high ranking officer and giving false and misleading statements to the patrollers, ma'am. It is all in those vid documents, ma'am." said Striper Yvonne Getraer who saw her new 'Striper' patches waving bye-bye to her! Molly cracked a grin.

"Stand easy, Getraer. No real harm done- yet. I forgot that I had lent my 'sky speeder' to Miss Trumpell (Sherry). I assumed that she would be piloting it rather than her uncouth companion, Captain InuYasha. (Yvonne's eyes got as big as saucers!) Very well. I am sure that our visiting dignitary will be quite willing not to press any false arrest and imprisonment charges. Marshall Poe-Prydonia is a reasonable lady. However, all charges against herself and the other five members of my command are to be dropped and I want all six released into my custody- now. Understood?" barked out Molly and she even scared me!

"Sir! I mean- Ma'am! I cannot do that unless the ranking Patroller signs off on all charges, ma'am. Very sorry, ma'am." replied the terror-stricken striper.

"Whom is this ranking arresting Patroller, girl?" snapped Tessa, playing her part of exec to the hilt!

"That would be me, Lieutenant, ma'am. Patroller Sergeant Iola Flynn, ma'am. With all due respect, 'Ma'ams, I cannot, in good conscience, sign off on any of these charges for any of these persons- Ma'ams." said the newly promoted Patroller NCO. Molly stared hard at the kid and then turned to Tessa.

"Lieutenant! Remove this girl's stripes! She is hereby demoted to a 'Sapper'!" barked Molly angrily. Huh? Since when does the 3WA outrank the 'ECPD'? Molly was playin' a bluff maybe? It worked! Iola stared at her brand new Sergeant's stripes and then shrugged her shoulders and sat down beside Yvonne and signed the necessary vidforms to release all six 'prisoners' into Molly's custody. Mira ran back up to us and we left just moments before Lt Sean Flynn walked into the squadroom.

I felt damned sorry for Iola and Yvonne. Suddenly-

"Just a moment, Major! Come back here, ma'am. Please." said the newcomer officer and he gathered up the vidforms and handed them to Molly. "Mustn't forget these, ma'am. (He dropped his voice to a whisper). You'll still have to come in and give a full statement, Major, ma'am. Chief Justice van Roden will have a royal fit if you don't. Anytime before you leave 'EC' will be fine. Oh and thanks for saving my child from a possible suspension, ma'am. If you ever need anything and I can help, please don't hesitate to call on me- Lt Sean Flynn, 'ECPD'- My vidcard, ma'am." said Iola's father and Molly returned his salute and winked at the guy. An incurable flirt! Poor Chet!

"Boy! Wasn't it swell of Lt Flynn to get us jobs here at 'Elenore City Fire & Rescue 51'?" said Firefighter/Paramedic Johnny Gage. He was still getting over his 'Angela Walker' fiasco. She had 'popped the question' to him and Johnny had run like Hell!

"Yeah, Johnny. This place is great and Jo and the kids can visit us whenever they wanna." agreed his partner, FF/PM Roy deSoto.

"Too bad that Captain Stanley (Hank) fell off that ladder last week. But Lt Flynn's a great guy even if he is a cop. Hey John, how'd yer date go with Iola last night?" asked FF Chet Kelly who was married to a major in the 3WA.

"It didn't, man! Iola had to work overtime because she arrested the wrong kids during her first shift as a sergeant! Ssh! Here comes Papa!" said Johnny.

"Well, guys? A mite different from your Earther '51' station eh?" chortled Fire Captain Sean Flynn who was also a lieutenant with the 'ECPD' where his daughter, Iola, had just been promoted to Patroller Sergeant.

"Pretty much the same in some respects, Cap." replied Chet.

"And in others?" asked their new Cap.

"Well, in Los Angeles, we only had one floor, not 178, Cap." answered Roy.

"Well, you must remember, Roy, that 'Elenore City' is the largest city on 'Shimougou' and is larger than all of your major Earther cities put together." chuckled Sean.

"And our trucks and ambulances stay on the ground, Cap. They don't fly." put in Johnny.

"Yes, that snows some offworlders at first, son. By the way, Iola asked that I apologize for her. She had to stay late last night doing vidreports because she accidentally arrested those six 3WA officers and ratings. All a silly mix-up as it turned out. They had borrowed some major's brand new 'sky speeder' for a pizza run. Thing was that the major forgot that she'd lent it out." explained Sean.

"She, Cap? Did Iola mention this major's name?" asked Roy. Sean thought for a minute or two.

"Yeah. A hyphenated one- Eastwood-Kelly. That's right, a Major Molly Eastwood-Kelly." he answered. Chet looked sick.

"My wife. Figures. She is forever gettin' in Dutch." said Chet Kelly.

"Oh! I didn't know that, son. They had some Marshall with 'em, a couple of Ninja girls, two boy demons and- some girl named Sherry Trumpell. All cleared up now. But, Iola didn't wanna drop the charges at first. That wife of yours had to threaten to take away her stripes before she saw reason. Luckily, I showed up. You know that the 3WA has no say over 'ECPD' affairs, don't you?" laughed Sean.

"Says who, Lieutenant Flynn? Hi guys. Oh yeah. Has 'Lux Soap' been here? We were out shopping and now I can't find her. The last I saw of her was when we left the 'Hellespont Mall'. She doesn't know this part of town and I don't need another trip to the precinct to bail her out. Hi there, Sweetheart. I'll bring dinner by around six for you guys. Damnation! What does that pest want now? (She spoke into the aether using her comm badge). Yeah, what is it this time, Anka? What? Half Pint done what? Again? OK. I'll swing by HQ and pick up another 'repper' for ya. Hey! You ain't seen 'Lux Soap', have ya? Nope. She doesn't have her vidcellphone with her and she refuses to wear comlimk earrings or a comm badge. I'll be glad when she goes back home to 'Velcron'. Yeah, I'll see if there are any new 'Gerry Ransom' vidnovels on sale for Kashi. What a pervert! Huh? OK, I'll let ya get back to watching your stories. Bye.

"Another crisis. Oh yeah. In case you weren't aware, Sean, the 3WA has 'carte blanche' authority over every police force in twelve galaxies, especially on 'Shim'. Just because we don't exercise that authority onworld a lot doesn't mean that we ain't got it, pal. I could have legally taken Iola's stripes last night and I damned near did! It was Yvonne's crying that stopped me from doing just that too. Guess I'll have to see if Walker will help me find 'Lux Soap' before she gets into trouble. Take it easy, fellas and I'll be back at 1800 hours, six o'clock tonight with dinner. See ya, Honey." said Molly, kissing her husband on the cheek and then batting her eyelashes at Roy and Johnny. An incurable flirt!

Yeah, I filched a 'chameleon cloak' and I've been 'coil huntin' around the city. Half Pint's also 'cloaked' and she's amusin' herself by climbin' on the big fire transport jobbie. I just had to get her outta that hotel when she took Anka's 'repper' apart and tossed it down the 'recycler chute'! Anky was ready to kill her! Who the Hell could blame her huh?

"C'mon Half Pint. Time we went back to the hotel. Molly's pickin' up another 'repper' for Anky at HQ so she won't be mad anymore, kiddo. No coils around this part of the city anyhow." I said and she tugged at my arm.

"Cookies! Can we get some of Auntie Finny's cookies? Please?" begged the little blonde pest and I said 'Sure.' We hopped into a stopped 'holocab' and I barked out "3WA HQ and step on it! An extra tenner if we make it in five!" I growled to the 'driver 'droid' and he jetted off to the tallest building on the planet! "Drop us on the roof. I grabbed his/hers? vidpad and tapped in a generous fare and a huge tip to which I signed Garner's name. He slid to a halt and we hopped out and rode the lift down to the office level where Garner had his temporary offices while he was in town.

"Hi, Uncle Charlie! Hi Auntie Finny!" squealed Mira and Charles Garner looked annoyed.

"Take off those 'cloaks', dammit! No, on second thought, keep 'em on! What do you two want, Kyomo? Make it quick. I'm busy today." he said and 'Auntie Finny' bustled in with two bags of her famous cookies and a big jug of java for me and one of milk for Half Pint.

"Here ye goo, lambie pie. It's chilly out. Better borry these parkas. Now, hurry home. Bye." said Mrs MacCrimmon. Chilly? It was close to minus 40 Fahrenheit outside! However, Fiona was from Scotland on Terra where this would be considered a mild Spring day! We put on the parkas and Garner called a 'Sapper' into his office.

"Sapper Regina Douglas, sir! Reporting as ordered, sir!" said the tall statuesque blonde goddess, saluting her superior.

"Yeah, whatever. Please see to it that 'Frick and Frack' here get home safely. The 'Algonquin Arms'- Penthouse level. (She looked confused because all she saw was a pair of fur parkas standing beside her). Oh, they're 'cloaked' so you can't see 'em, kid. And don't let them 'decloak'. They're naked under those 'cloaks'. That's all. Use my 'air car' if you like. Better bring it to the roof. I don't need these two wandering around on the lower levels. Dismissed. You two can wait by the roof portals. Bye." said Garner and 'Reggie' split one way while we went the other way.

"Get in, guys and hurry up! It's freezing out here! Hands clear? (She snapped the top closed). The 'Algy'? And the Penthouse no less! Who are you guys?" asked 'Reggie', rocketing into the approachin' storm.

"Visiting dignitaries from- uh- 'Mongo'. I'm Prince Varrin and this is my kid, Princess Aleta." I lied, but the girl merely shrugged her shoulders and flew us to the hotel roof. She said 'goodbye' to us and we tramped down the stairs to the suite. We went to our rooms and changed into casual stuff.

The 'Ice Road Brigade' was enjoying a final night of revelry and fun at a downtown 'Elenore City' dive. Hugh the 'Polar Bear' and his buddy, 'Reverend' Alex, were discussing their newest assignment mission while Eric was chatting up a knockout blonde bombshell from 'Laertes II' who was also going with the 'IRB' to 'Victorine'. She too was a 'space trucker'.

Rick was gambling with three 'Ferengi' smugglers from 'Corrallia'. Drew was giving 'pointers' to Mack MacGyver, a 'space trucker' who'd been running the 'space ways' since five years before Drew was even 'born'. Michelle Montgonery was trying to outdrink Annie Hathaway who had cut her teeth with the Boss Lady- Kei O'Halloran!

'Bear' Baronsky was swapping tall tales with Jonathan Caldy who was married to a Gallifreyan 'time lady'- Romana M Poe-Prydonia Caldy.

The seven 'ice roaders' who had been invaluable last year delivering much needed supplies on the ice world of 'Gysymeo' all thought that this 'Vic' run was going to be a 'piece of cake'. You'd have thought that by now that they would have learned that nothing was easy if the 3WA was involved with it!

Jonny Caldy was riding with two other 'space truckers'- Will and Sonny. Why? Because with Villa away on his honeymoon with June, the truckers all needed a new space tech 'mechanic'. Romy was glad to have her hubby out from underfoot. She would be piloting her half-sister's (Allison Prydonia-Poe) 'flagship' which was one of three huge transport vessels which were being used to bring the first wave of 'colonists' to 'Victorine'.

Since Allie's party would be the last to leave 'Shim' and the truckers were going in as an advance team, her hubby and his pals would be traveling aboard the 'Lovely Angel 5' commanded by Marshall Marlene Angel which was leaving at midnight.

The tall blonde Marshall in question strolled into the 'Grey Wolf Inn' and stepped up to the bar. The 'Gylantin' barkeep asked her what she wanted. She smiled.

"This round's on me, Skank. Give everyone whatever they want. Enjoy your drinks, folks. Because- they will be your last for awhile. Skank? As of now, this bar is closed- by my order! It is 2200 hours- 10 PM for you landlubbers. We'll be lifting off at midnight. I want your 'Earther carriages' berthed belowdecks in the 'LA5's docking bays in one hour. Stow your luggage and gear aboard as well.

"Jonny? I want those 'space vessels' checked and double-checked by 2330 hours- 11:30 PM. Pick up your new vidlicenses, vidregistries, vidbills of lading, offworlder passports and visas along with the rest of your red tape vid documents at 3WA HQ and have them on your persons when you board. HQ is that big red sandstone-coloured building two streets over. The records department is on Level 977.

"One more thing. Casual attire is permitted for the voyage, but any 3WA business conducted in HQ requires full dress blacks and weapons. You will remain armed at all times even while aboard my vessel. Understood? Good. Here's to a successful voyage, ladies and gentlemen and- whatever. Cheers!" she announced and then drained her 'Bloody Rose'.

"Cheer up, ducks. It could be worse. At least we aren't flyin' with that crazy redhead- the Amazon firebrand Hellcat!" chortled 'Xyla Fone', Eric's lovely drinking companion.

"Thank Kami for small favours, baby. Here's to us. What's ya doin' yer first night in port, Honey?" crooned Eric.

"What's ya have in mind, sir? (Eric whispered into her ear). Ooh! That sounds like fun, man! (She glanced at her wristchromo and frowned). Damnation! Almost half past ten! It's been fun, Lovey, but I gotta split. Gotta pack my goodies and pick-iup my traveling orders from HQ. I'll see ya onboard, right? This should hold ya until then, sir." purred Xyla, kissing him on the lips.

"I say! Steady on, Darling! 'Night." replied Eric who could have flown to 'Vic' and back- without a starship!

'Reverend' Alex rapped his java mug for silence and led the bar patrons in a short prayer. Then he cleared his throat.

"OK! You heard our new boss lady, didn't you? Let's get cracking! A show of hands, folks. Who hasn't picked up their travel orders yet? (Several hands went up). You folks get back home and change into dress blacks and pick 'em up! The rest of ya- start packing! Miss Angel wants our rigs aboard by eleven. Jonny (Caldy) will be checking up on them at half past eleven. Rememebr that we must all be aboard by midnight. That's all I got. Hugh?" announced the 'Minister of the Ice Roads'.

"What he said- goes double for me! Get moving!" added Hugh. "One more for the road, Mr Skank?" asked Hugh.

"Sorry, sir. You heard the lady. Besides, I had orders to load up the 'LA5' with lots of booze- the real stuff, 'Polar Bear'. Bon voyage, boyos- and ladies." replied the short 'Gylantin' barkeep. Everyone began gathering up their gear and left the tavern for their digs, parking docks or the HQ building. Hugh, 'Bear' and Alex headed for their rigs, having already packed their baggage and stowed it on the ship.

"Don't look now Ellen, but half o' the 'Ice Roaders' have arrived. The air locks are open, boyos. You've been assigned to SubLevel Three, Northern Sector, Slots A-1 through A-7. Take yer pick, guys. Uh, Michelle wants A-5. However, it's first come, first served. Will and Sonny have B-1 and B-2 slots. Oh, and remember to be sure that you're strapped in somewhere on the upper decks at midnight for liftoff. Have a pleasant flight. Sapper Brownlea out." said Marsha Brownlea.

Lance Sergeant Ellen duBois nodded and checked the 'Crow's Nest', the 'Holy Roller' and the 'Grizzly One' off her vidmanifest.

"That leaves the French Kanook (Eric), Michelle, 'Mr Charm' (Rick), 'Crybaby' (Drew) and good old Mackie. Oh, I see. Jonny Caldy's replacing Vill d'Etre as space tech for the rigs. Wonder if Romy's aboard too?" wondered Ellen who was dispatcher NCO. This was her fourth 'rig run' and she was used to them by now. However, this was Marsha's 'maiden voyage'. I wonder whom she pissed off to get this 'grunge mission' assignment? She forgot that Marsha was part Beta Zoid.

"I volunteered, Sarge. No, I begged Chief Gooley for this assignment." replied Marsha to Ellen's thoughts.

"In Heaven's name- why? Why did you ever volunteer for this fortnight 'milk run', Marsh? There's nothing to do on 'Vic', man." asked Ellen and her underling grinned.

"Peace and quiet. Besides, they won't be using the junk down here for two glorious weeks, Sarge. It'll be just like a vacation, man!" laughed Marsha before Ellen had to burst her bubble.

"We'll be placed in other jobs once we are underway, Honey. Usually, they make us waitresses or we get babysitting detail or KP duty. However, we might get lucky this time. I happen to know that we are short on gunners and gunners' mates. Ever fired a quad or a photon?" replied Ellen.

"In simulation, sure. For real? Nope. How hard can it be, man?" giggled Marsha and Ellen rolled her eyes at the young girl.

"Oh yeah- Romana's piloting Allison's 'flagship', the 'Timely Wench'. They're leaving last of all." added Marsha.

"Hi. Sorry I'm a little late, ladies. Anyone take my slot? A-5 on Sub 3 North?" asked the tall brunette wearing black motorcycle togs. Ellen checked her 'Lady M' off her vidmanifest list.

"Nope. Still there, Hon. Go ahead. Air locks are open. Better get your 'Lady M' ready for inspection in ten minutes. Have a nice flight." said Ellen. Michelle hopped into her rig's cab and roared into the air lock and screeched to a perfect stop. She was docked dead centre in A-5.

Although the other six 'Ice Roaders' were already there (All males!), Michelle had no intention of getting grease and oil on her spiffy new outfit. She peeled off jacket, gloves, cap, shirt, boots and leather trousers. Then she climbed into a set of dark coveralls and zipped up. Finally, she drew on a pair of heavy work gloves and began checking out her engines. The guys had seen so much of Michelle's bare keester of late that they just ignored her and continued their own rig tune-ups.

"OK. 2330 hours, guys. Who wants to go first?" said Jonathan Caldy, vidclipboard in hand.

"I'll go first, Jon. Oh, how about holding off on Michelle for awhile? She was the last one in." said Alex. Jon nodded and climbed up on the 'Holy Roller', flash illuminator in one hand and PDO tester in the other. Five minutes later, he slammed down the bonnet and checked off Alex's name.

Hugh was next followed by Eric, Rick, Drew and 'Bear'. All of their tune-ups came up A-OK and Jon looked over the 'Lady M' engines before he clucked with approval and admiration and slammed down her bonnet.

"You could eat off of those engines, Mischa. Great job. OK. The 'Ice Road Brigade' has passed inspection. Better get abovestairs and find a seat before lift off." he said.

"Um, do I have time for a quick shower and a change, Jonny?" asked the brunette. He shook his head and lifted the bonnet of the 'Moving On'- Will and Sonny's rig.

"Better not, Mischa. You only have three minutes to get strapped in. Fine. Everything's OK here too. Hurry up and find a seat, folks. 'Angel Airways' is lifting off." chuckled Jonathan, snapping shut his PDO tester. He stowed it, his illuminator and his vidlist into his attache case which was a birthday present from 'New Republic' President Leia Skywalker Organa Solo.

We lifted off at midnight. I got there just before 'final boarding call' and, luckily, my rig had been the first one 'passed' by Caldy. Mackie MacGyver here. You may remember me from the 'Trucks In Space' incident.

We spent most of the next fortnight in the bar or doing our 'chores' and practicing our marksmanship. Never knew what weird wild critters had been created by the 'Genesis Effect' way back when. To make a long story short, the 'LA5' and the 'LA4' landed at 'Victorine'. We were anxious to see the place, but Marshall Angel and Marshall von Dekker aka the 'Green Baron', who was commanding the 'LA4' refused to allow anyone to leave the ships until 'Shortie's 'Timely Wench' 'flagship' had arrived.

So- we amused ourselves with poker, 'Duel Monsters' and golf. The latter was played on the 'holodecks' on a simulated 'Sawgrass' course and I never reached the 'island green' (#17) once! The best golfer of all was our logistics/strategies officer, Colonel Peabody! It was embarrassing to always be losing to a dog, man! Best 'golferette' was Suba Revy Roberts who could not only hit the ball a mile, she had the best damned short game of any gal I have ever seen!

Hey! That sounds like a warp drive outside! Yup! The 'flagship's arrived and we'll be leaving this ship soon- I hope!

Lt Commander Dynamo was the official 3WA 'truck push' on the new world and both me and 'Ryuuk' had been assigned as his assistants. 'Ryuuk' was a 'Shinigami death god' and had a face that could stop a clock. So, Dynamo had insisted that he wear a 'false face' mask which made him look like 'Sir Guy Fawkes'! He was less than pleased, but it was a lot better than looking at someone who made 'Medusa the Gorgon' look like Marilyn Monroe!

"Damn! Light! (That's me, Light Yagami from ancient Terran Japan). Better get 'Gargantua' ('Ryuuk') started shiftin' them 'road buildin' materials' so that they're all ready when those 'Icer' nuts get here. Then ya better start reppin' up some more 'meal units' fer the 'riggers'. Ya get those 'capsule' quonset huts set up yet?" said the cigar-chompin' alien 'Triceratops' dinosaur.

"Yeah, Ya figure we need more than fifty for starters, Dy?" I asked and the guy who even towered over 8 feet tall 'Ryuuk' thought for a minute or two. The skies were clouding over- a sure sign of more rain to come. If this was Springtime on 'Vic', I dreaded Autumn and Winter, man!

"Yeah. That should do for awhile anyhow. How many more 'capsules' did Doc Brief send us last time?" asked Dy and I consulted my PDO unit.

"Seven hundred. Any of the transports bringing in more building materials, sir?" I asked.

"Dunno. The 'Moonshine Express' was fogged in over Pluto at last report. I doubt if that shipment got to 'Shim' in time to catch a ride out here. We just gotta use what we got, kid. Shoot! Rain already! 'Ry'! Batten down the hatches and let's get under cover!" yelled Dynamo.

"Grab a bushel o' apples fer 'Ryuuk', please! Man, this is gonna be a real soaker! A damned shame that we ain't got a 'weather barrier' to activate!" I called and then I beat it inside our quarters just before the deluge began! That was when I heard the roar of afterburners and saw the big blob above us. The 'Ice Kooks' were here!

"Been nice having your help, boyos. Iola and I will miss ya and so will the rest of the fire & rescue folks. Best o' luck, guys. Who knows? Maybe I'll be moving to 'Victoria City' meself in a few years. Been thinkin' about retirement a lot." said 'ECF&RS 51' Captain Sean Flynn.

He shook hands all around with the old 'LA 51' gang and he said 'No hard feelings, son?' to Johnny Gage who gave him a lopsided grin and then 'high-fived' the fire captain/police lieutenant. Sean had thought that John was gonna be his son-in-law until John's orders had come through for him and his pals to report to the 'Timely Wench' which was Allison Poe's new 'flagship'.

"Four in the morning's a Helluva time to take off, ain't it, Roy?" grumbled Chet Kelly whose wife, Molly, was the 'flagship's 'navvy'.

"Don't ask me, man. Joanna's madder than a wet hen about having to yank Roy, Jr and Mikey outta school and missing her chance at a promotion in the travel agency where she works. She had to turn in her resignation and that made her very angry with Garner. Better hurry up or your Molly's gonna be comm relaying you again." said Roy deSoto.

"Aw, you guys'll get used to 3WA space travel departure times. They hafta go when they can catch 'windows' depending on their destinations. Well, have a great voyage. Drop us a vidcard for Christmas. Bye." said Sean, hugging Marco Sanchez.

"You guys just made it, man! No time to stow your gear. Sit down and strap in over there." ordered First Lt Ari, the ship's transport officer. John, Roy, Chet, Marco, Mike and the others sat down and strapped in. Captain Stanley was loaded aboard on his gurney. Roy had just finished securing Hank when the engines roared and the thrusters activated. All of us were thrown forward when a G Force of 15 struck us.

"We are in flight, mum. Permission to engage 'George'?" asked Romana Caldy and Allison Poe nodded. The final ship of the trio- the 'flagship' 'Timely Wench' was on its way to the brave new world of 'Victorine'. What did the future hold for them?

"Wow! 'Victorine' is huge, man! Mum? Commander Victoria? Lord Dynamo is signaling for us to touch down on the other side of those quonset huts. Permission to land, mum?" asked Walter who was piloting the 'Nova Hellsing' star cruiser.

"Permission granted, Walter. A lucky accident that we had that fuel emissions snafu. Otherwise, we would have missed the 'Moonshine Express' and all of the supplies that she'd been carrying. Those poor 'colonists' will have it rough enough as it is for the first year or two. At least now they'll have a few small luxuries to enjoy. How many 'reppers' were on that manifest, my Master?" asked Commander major Seras Victoria who was smoking a small cigarillo.

Subaltern Lord Alucard turned his horrible 'eyes everywhere' face towards his 'ward' who was also his superior officer.

"Master! How many times must I warn you not to wear your 'true face' when we are in mixed company?" said a horrified vampiress. By 'mixed', she meant, of course, humans and vampires.

"My apologies, 'Police Girl'. Better? (She nodded and Walter grinned). Two thousand units. Lucky break for us that Hogan and Burkhalter's boys can all pilot rigs eh?" laughed the 'King of Vampires', Seras's exec.

"I wish that I'd had my vidcellphone's vidcam on when that fat sergeant and that sniveling coward and that old stuffed shirt found out where they were going and why. Oh and did you see the look on old 'Ferrte Face' and Hogan. Helga did manage to talk Major Hockey Puck into helping out." chuckled the comm relay officer, Suba Sir Integra Wyngate van Helsing, herself Master to Lord Alucard.

"The major only agreed because he didn't want to be shown up as a coward in front of Blondie. Especially when he found out that Helga was gonna be on of our pilots too. Did you have to give them our quarters though, mum?" replied Walter, dropping closer to his 'LZ' which was marked by several boulders and each one must have weighed at least half a ton! 'Triceratops' aliens are stronger even than vampires!

"What else could I do? All of our other quarters were either occupied or being used for cargo storage. Mind that tree, Walt!" said his Commander and Walter grunted and yawed to starboard and down. Then he slid to a perfect landing within his 'LZ'.

"Alright! I don't like it any better than you guys do. Sorry, I meant the lady as well. My apologies, Blondie." said Colonel Bobby Hogan who was sitting on a crate of 'photon torpedoes'.

"Don't call me Blondie, Robert! Oh, do stop writing your will, Friedrich! If I can pilot a rig, you can too! Damn! These bloody flightsuits make me itch!" grumbled Helga. Until a few days ago, she had been Kommandant Colonel Wilhelm Klink's private secretary at 'LuftStalag 13' in Earther Germany.

"Then just take it off, Love, why don't ya? We wouldn't mind, would we, boys?" chortled Alvie Newkirk. Last week Helga had stood lookout while Alvie and Andy Carter had blown up a Nazi munitions train destined for the Russian Front!

"I'll bet you wouldn't, you pevert! Don't think that I didn't see you chatting up Tessa! You aren't getting any for awhile, Love!" snarled the blonde knockout. She was about to kick a crate marked 'Dennavite', but Johnny Kinchloe caught her boot before she could!

"Any of what, Fraulein Helga?" asked Willy Klink who had just awakened.

"Cookies." replied Louis LeBeau, the Frenchman and in his 'little black book', there were ***** beside Helga's name.

"Did some-one say cook-ies? Vhen ist lunch, Lou-ie?" asked the overstuffed gorilla, Hans Schultz.

"We just had lunch, Schultzy. You need to go on a diet, you fat pig." replied Major Manfred Hochstetter who had a 'thing' for the big buxom blonde, Helga- although he denied it, of course!

"How do you spell 'beneficiaries'?" demanded Freddie Burkhalter.

"Vhy? Everything you own is back in Germany and dot ist millions of 'lighty years' avay." answered the former SS/Gestapo major.

"As I was saying- we just have to make the best of it, folks. Any questions?" asked Hogan.

"I can't drive stick shift, Bob. Does dot leave me out uf it?" whined Willy. What a wimp!

"You can't? How the Hell'd ya make Colonel then or even fly a 'Stukker'?" Helga demanded. In the piloting class, she had scored higher than any of the rest of them. In fact, she had the highest score amongst the ladies except for Revy Roberts!

"I just had to order other people to drive the damned things, Fraulein-" replied Willy.

"And enogh with the Fraulein jazz, man! You were such a Dumkopf that you never even suspected that I was part of the Underground, man!" snapped Helga, unzipping her hot flight suit, causing her brassiere to peek out.

"Neither did I." said the former general.

"I knew it all along, didn't I, Meat Pudding?" crooned Manny and she smiled and kissed her soon to be hubby. They had announced their engagement at dinner the last night out. No accounting for taste, huh?

"Of course you did, my Leibchen. Could someone please hand me my black turtleneck and silver Capri pants? I have got to get out of this suit!" said Helga and her gallant 'Ferret Face' fiancee stood up and blocked off the view! Andy rummaged around in her footlocker and tossed her garments over Manny's head to the blonde.

"It's OK now, my Leibchen. Your little Meat Pudding is decent again." cooed Helga.

"Attention! Attention all hands! We are about to make planetfall so please strap yourselves in. That is all and thanks for using 'Vampire Cruise Lines'." announced Walter.

"It is raining outside, Colo- Bob." said the Frenchman who was looking out of the 'window'.

"And me without me bumbershoot. Hey! Where's our camp?" demanded an astonished Newkirk.

"On the other side of that big mountain, Alvie. I wonder why we landed on this side of it, Bob?" asked John Kinchloe.

"Don't ask me. I'm not the pilot. Where's Wolfgang and Peter and the other, uh, guards?"

"Right here, Bobby. Wow! We just missed a tree! Brace yerselves. Dunno if Walter knows what he's doing." called Wolfie from the room beside them.

The ship slid to a smooth stop and everyone began unstrapping from their seats and milling around.

"Shall ve see chat dis place looks like? Klink! Get out from under your bunk, please. Robert? Could you please see dot dis ist sent to my lawyer in Hammelburg?" asked Freddie B, handing his will to Hogan.

Helga stretched and climbed into her rainsuit and fur coat. Manny stuck her fur toque on her blonde head. Helga pulled on her gloves and kissed him.

"Oh, get a room already!" said the Frenchman, crossing off the blonde's name in his 'little black book'.

"I vill remain behind and guard the ship." announced Willy before Bobby and Johnny propelled him out through the portals.

"Yo, 'Godzilla'! Get over here and unload this ship! Light! Here's their vidmanifest. Take charge. OK, everyone. Welcome to 'Victorine'! Last stop, everybody out." growled Dynamo.

Several 'space rigs' were already sitting beside the three huge transport vessels and Bob Hogan whistled. Not at the rigs though- he had just spotted Michelle Montgomery climbing aboard her 'Lady M' rig! So did Manny!

"Down, boy! You're already spoken for, man! You are mine, Lovey!" cooed a jealous Helga, crushing her boot heel across Manny's instep.

We were standing ankle deep in rainwater and the place looked like we'd soon have a flood! The 'Nova H' disgorged a dozen sparkling new 'space rigs' and Light Yagami began handing out cargo vidmanifests and vidbills of lading to all of us. My load was two thousand 'replicating units'.

Tessa was operating a 'transporter' which had been hastily hooked up just inside the 'flagship's 'barriers'. Even so, she was soaked to the skin in minutes. However, she ignored the rainwater and concentrated on transferring cargo from the ships to the rigs.

I climbed aboard my 'Bulldog Mach 2' and the huge grinning 'thing' death god directed me towards the quonset huts. Helga and Manny were right behind me. I had drawn Freddie Burkhalter who kept praying the entire time that he'd been in the cockpit beside me. He finally shut up when I slid ny rig inside of one of the quonset huts and powered down my thrusters and killed the engines.

Each of us had been assigned a garage hut. One hut per rig, pilot and co-pilot. Light and 'Ryuuk' and Dynamo had fixed up the inside with a 'capsulated' kitchen, bedrooms, sitting rooms, bath rooms, game rooms and each room (Except the bath rooms) was equipped with a small but well-stocked bar. For the next year, this was 'home' and it wasn't half bad either. At least we were out of the rain, winds and cold!

As far as I had it figured, the pairs of pilot and co-pilot were as follows:-

Hugh the 'Polar Bear'/Willy Klink

'Reverend' Alex/Hans Schultz

Drew/Wolfgang

Rick/Peter

Eric/Andy Carter

'Bear'/John Kinchloe

Michelle/Alvie Newkirk

Xyla Fone/Bob Hogan

Mack MacGyver/Freddie Burkhalter

Sir 'Teggie' van Helsong/Louie LeBeau

Helga Schmidt/Manny Hochstetter

Will/Sonny (Jonathan Caldy rode with them as our 'space tech' mechanic)

Freddie yawned and laid down on one of the bunks. Great. OK, let him have that bedroom. I noved his junk inside of his bedroom and then I shoved my stuff into the other bedroom. There was a thumping sound on the big portals and I opened the smaller 'door' portal within the big bay portals and Light Yagami came inside.

"Here's your 'meal packages', Mack. How d'ya like the place? Pretty neat, huh? Oh and uh, 'Her Nibs' wants to see all of the pilots at 1800 hours- 6 PM- in the first hut. At the end nearest to the vessels. Where's uh, Freddie?" asked Light.

"Asleep. I'll have hi there on time, kid." I promised but Light shook his head.

"Don't bother, man. This is just for pilots so let 'Fatso' sleep. She shouldn't keep us too long. Gotta split now. See ya at six." said Light and he left. I went explorin'. Then I opened up two 'meal paks' and tossed 'em in the vidmicro oven. While I waited the 30 seconds that they'd take to cook, I 'repped up' some plates, cups, saucers, silverware, cutlery, a tablecloth and napkins. Then I 'repped up' a big urn of java, sugar, cream, creamer and some pastries.

I glanced at my wristchromo and just then the micro oven dinged. It was five to six so I pulled on my oilskins and heavy parka, fur cap and gloves and debated on 'repping up' an umbrella. Hell! Riggers ain't afraid of a little rainwater, man! I sloshed through calf deep puddles and gazed at the blackening aether. I finally made it to the first hut and thumped on the portal which flashed open and I came inside.

King Arthur's 'round table' was jammed with pilots, officers, ratings and a bunch of other humans and aliens and animals, most of which were new to me! I took a seat and wondered just what the Hell was going down, man?

END of Chapter 37. Chapter 38 'Visitors Already?' or 'Lonely Leader' to follow soon. Well, here's the next nail in the coffin of our long-running saga. The Boss Man and Story Teller Guy are pretty damned sure that Chapter 40 will see an end to Solutions and our saga. Hope so, man! Oh hi, I'm Helga Schmidt and I've been asked to say bye-bye to all of our loyal devotees, followers and readers. Please remember- R/R/S away. Your Friendship Team thanks you all and so do I!- Helga.