Chapter 38

Previously

"Clary, he's not going to hurt you. He didn't hurt me. He's not going to hurt you. Magnus is trying to help us." I looked into Jon's green eyes; they were a shade darker than mine. They always calmed me. They always made me want to believe him. I nodded slightly and stopped struggling. I laid down on the floor, Jon and Jace to the sides, and Magnus above me. I looked up at Magnus, and squeezed my eyes shut. He put his warm hand on my forehead, and I was out.

Jace POV

I hated seeing her like this, writhing around like she was in pain, screaming her head off. I hated it. Although I don't think I'd be able to leave her, even if I hadn't promised her. I never let go of her hand, even when she started digging her fingernails into my hand, causing my knuckles to bleed. It hurt like hell, but I didn't care. She was in more pain than I was. She started doing exactly what Jon did. She curled herself into a ball and started screaming even louder. She had tears streaming down her face now. I hope this is almost over.

Clary POV

Jon was taken away from me. I was only about 3 years old. I screamed and tried running to him while Valentine dragged him away from me, and towards the basement. I haven't ever been down there. I don't know what's down there. I screamed harder, and Jon broke free from Valentine, and ran to me. Mom let go of me and I ran forward. I jumped into Jon's arms and he held me tight. Suddenly I was ripped from Jon's grip and thrown back into my mother. We both stumbled back.

"Jocelyn! Hold her back! I need to do this." Dad grabbed Jon's wrist and started dragging him back towards the open basement door. I screamed even harder, and Jon kept trying to get back to me. Finally, dad and Jon disappeared and the basement door slammed shut. I cried in my mother's embrace. When I finally calmed down, I noticed that mom had tears streaming down her face. She looked longing towards the basement door.

The picture warped to maybe a few days later.

Jon was lying in his bed on his stomach. He had his eyes closed. When I got home from preschool that day, I ran up stairs, like I did everyday for the past 3 days. I burst into Jon's room and saw him lying on his bed. I fell to my knees next to the side of his bed. He opened his eyes slightly and smiled, but his smile turned into a grimace. He closed his eyes, and I started crying.

"Jon, what did daddy do to you?" I cried to him.

"He made me stronger, Clare. So that I can protect you better." His breathing was labored. Like every breath, every movement, hurt him.

"I don't need protecting Jon. Not if it's going to hurt you."

"You just don't understand Clare. I'll be okay." He muttered.

"Let's not argue. You should get some sleep. Maybe it will help you." I said gently.

"Will you stay with me, Clare?" Jon asked, almost desperately.

"Of course, Jonny. I will never leave you." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Jon nodded slightly and grimaced again before falling asleep.

The scene changed once again.

I ran into Jon's room with a piece of paper clutched in my 4 year old hand. Jon was sitting at his desk. He looked over at me when I ran in, and smiled immediately. I ran over to him, and he picked me up and put me on his lap.

"Hi Clare Bear, how ya doing?"

"Hi Jonny! I wanted to show you my new drawing." I said. Jon laughed at my excitement.

"Okay, Clare, show me." I thrust the paper out and he grabbed it. As soon as he saw it he dropped it, and muttered something under his breath.

"The angelic rune," Jon said quietly. "Clare, you can't show this to anybody. Do you understand me?"

I nodded. "But why, Jonny? I want to show mommy."

"You can't, Clary. You'll be hurt if you do. Do you remember when you didn't see me for a few days?" I nodded. "That will happen to you if you show mommy and daddy. Do you want that to happen?"

"I want to be like you Jonny. Why can't I be like you?" I asked, my eyes big and innocent.

"You don't want to be like me, Clare. It's my job to protect you, not the other way around."

"But I want to protect you, Jonny. Pwease?"

"No Clare. You need to get rid of this. Do not show this Mom and especially not Dad. You'll get hurt if you do." Jon's green eyes were looking at me with desperation. I didn't like seeing him like this, so I agreed, just to make him happy. I nodded. He let out the breath he seemed to be holding, and hugged me tightly against him.

"Thank you, Clare."

"No prob, big brother." I smiled.

The scene started warping again, and I was running down the halls probably only about 4. I had another piece of paper clutched in my fist. As I was running, I wasn't watching where I was going, and ran into Valentine. I dropped the piece of paper that was in my hand.

"Oof!" I cried as I hit the ground.

"Watch where you're running Clarissa," Dad said chuckling. He helped me to my feet.

"Thanks Daddy." I smiled shyly. I started walking towards the door to go outside and meet Jon outside when he got home from school in 5 minutes, when Valentine stopped me.

"Clarissa, what's this?" I turned around and saw Valentine holding the piece of paper I was going to show Jon. A replica of the one Jon told me not to show to Jocelyn and Valentine.

"Um, uh, um." Was all I could get out.

"Clarissa, go play. I'll talk to you later." Valentine walked out of the room. He called out for Jocelyn. He still had the paper in his hand.

I ran outside and waited for Jon to get home. When he got home, I ran to him and jumped in his arms. I squeezed my arms around his neck tightly and buried my face in his shoulder, while I started crying.

"Woah, Clare. What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"Jon, he saw the picture! He saw it, and now I'm gonna get hurt!" I cried harder into Jon's shoulder.

"Clare, what picture? What are you talking about? How are you going to get hurt? Clary I don't understand." Jon rubbed my back.

"The picture you told me not to show to anybody, Jon! The one you said would get me hurt if I showed anybody, Jonny!" I felt Jon slump.

"Clare, I told you not to show anyone. Why did you?" There was panic and disappointment laced in his voice.

"I didn't mean to! I promise! I was running and I ran into Daddy, and I dropped the paper, and he picked it up and I just didn't know what to do! He went to talk to Mommy and he told me that we would talk later. Jonny!" I said it all in one breath and was gasping by the time I finished. I was now standing and Jon was kneeling in front of me.

"Clary, I need you to listen to me," I nodded. "There's no way to stop what's going to happen next. You need to stay strong, and you'll be okay. I made it out alive right?" I nodded.

"But, what if I'm not as strong as you are? What will happen then?" I was only getting more and more scared thinking about what was bound to happen in the near future.

"You're not going to think about the Clare-Bear. You wanna know why?" I nodded.

"Because you are the strongest little girl I know. You are even stronger than I could ever hope to be, and you don't even try. So don't you even dare to think that you will not get through it because you will. I promise."

"Really?" Jon nodded.

I launched myself into Jon's arms and gave him a huge bear hug. That was when Valentine and Jocelyn called us inside to talk. I looked at Jon worriedly. He grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I started to get tears in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. We walked inside the house, hand in hand.

When we got in, Valentine slammed the door behind Jon and I causing us to jump. Valentine ushered us into the living room where my mother was sitting on the couch with tears streaming down her cheeks. Valentine looked down at Jon and I's hands linked together. Valentine yanked Jon's hand out of mine and threw him next to Jocelyn. Valentine sat next to me.

"Clarissa, you drew the Angelic Rune this afternoon. It's time you get your injection. Say goodbye to your mother, and brother. You won't see them for a few days." Daddy said.

It was then that I finally let the tears fall. I let them fall.

"Clarissa, you need to say what you're going to say or else you won't get to."

I stood up slowly, tears blurring my vision. My mother stood and picked me up. She gave me a tight hug, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'll see you soon, Clarissa. I love you."

"I love you too." Mommy put me down and I turned to Jon.

I launched myself into his arms, and hugged him tightly, every part of my body shaking. I fisted my hands in his shirt so hard that my knuckles turned white.

"You'll be okay, Clare-Bear. I promise." He whispered.

"I love you so so so much." I whispered back.

"I'll come visit you, I'll take care of you forever. I promise you. Don't give up. You can make it through it. I promise. I'll see you soon. I love you Clare." He whispered one last time.

I let go of Jon and turned towards Valentine. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the basement doors. I walked down the stairs, and noticed the table with restraints. He lifted me up and told me to lie down. I did as I was told and he strapped me down. He strapped my stomach, my thighs, my ankles, my forearms and wrists. I could barely move.

"Clarissa, this is angel blood. It will make you as strong as Jonathan is. It will hurt. Try to hang in." I nodded.

Valentine walked over to a normal table that was nearby and grabbed a huge syringe. He walked back over to me, and positioned the needle against my arm. He pushed it in, and I thought that hurt. As soon as he pushed down to allow the liquid stored inside to inject into my bloodstream, every part of my body started to burn like it was on fire. I screamed, and started spasming against my restraints. I screamed harder than I ever had before. It hurt like hell! I kept screaming for several more hours. Even after daddy had left me with only a few candles lit.

Jon POV

She is going through the angel blood process. I knew that much by her screams of pain. I hoped it would be over soon.

Clary POV

The next time I opened my eyes, my body was still on fire, but Jon was unstrapping me. I had already been down there for three days. No food, no water, no nothing. Jon had been down ever day keeping me company later at night, when everyone else was asleep. He'd stay the night and get up before anyone else woke up to sneak back in his room. That being said, I also hadn't slept for three days.

Jon carried me up the stairs very carefully. He must have known that I was sore from pulling against the restraints. When he reached the top of the stairs, he opened the door, and walked to my room. He set me down on my stomach and pulled the covers over me. I snuggled into them as much as my sore body would allow. I groaned several times.

While I was home during that 1st week when I was stuck in bed, Mommy and Daddy fought lots. One day she came upstairs, and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you. Tell Jon that when he comes home okay, baby girl, I love you so much. More than you can imagine. Never forget that."

I nodded slightly, not really thinking much about it. That was the day she left I remembered that.

Time Skip

The next time I saw myself I was in a training room with Jon. He was probably about 8 and I must have been 7. We were both kicking ass, at training. We would throw knives in the center every time. We would balance on the highest of beams. Jon and I practices with seraph blades, and everything. We were great at everything we tried.

Suddenly the image got blurry and I sat straight up. I started panicking. I didn't remember where I was. I jumped to my feet, and started to run for the door. I heard people yelling at me to stop. But it was one voice that broke me out of the trance I was in.

"Clare-Bear. You're okay. We're okay." I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt someone put their hands on my shoulders.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around Jon.

"Jon, I remember." I whispered.

"I know, Clare."

And that's it for this chapter. I know. You probably hate me. JK!

Okay. You guys did a fantastic job at reviews. I was so excited. I woke up to 6 reviews on the first day. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

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-Jace loves me.