"We're doing California Soarin' next," Emma read off of her paper.

"YES!" Neal shouted, fistpumping in the air. "One of my favorites as a kid. Did I tell you that?"

"Yeah, you stated it pretty clearly in the very first chapter of this fanfiction," Emma said slowly.

"Wasn't it the second chapter?" Neal inquired.

"Whatever, but you said it," Emma said, dismissively waving a hand. "Now, then, it says you shouldn't ride it if you're prone to motion sickness or whatever, blah blah blah, who gives a sh*t, right?" she tossed the paper behind her and it flew onto Henry's face, who instinctively screamed out.

"NOT THE HAPPY TREE FRIENDS!"

"Uhm, wow," Snow said, in awe. "The line looks really long."

"Luckily for us, they have posters and historical information set up here regarding aviation," Emma said.

"Excuse me?" Charming blurted after a moment of silence. "What does that mean? You know, the big words, did you swallow a dictionary or something?"

"I think she's swallowed something entirely different," Hook said, raising his eyebrows.

"You're like a vacuum," Emma said tauntingly. "You suck."

"Ouch, I'm wounded," Hook said coyly. "But what type of suc-"

"NO INNUENDOS ALLOWED HERE!" Emma screamed.

"But-"

"NO! JUST NO! You'll have to be quiet for the rest of the time we're in the line, or else I will let Gold 'impale you upon his cane'," Emma threatened.

"Stealing quotes?" Hook asked lamely. "Fine, fine, I'll be quiet."

Two hours later...

"We made it," Emma gasped, breathless. "We actually made it to the ride."

"Can I talk now?" Hook mouthed.

"Can you f*ck now?" Cora asked. "Sorry, never really been good at reading lips.

"I said, can I talk now?" Hook mouthed, getting annoyed.

"You ship canon scrawl chow?" Cora wondered.

"I SAID, CAN I TALK NOW?" Hook screamed.

"SHUT UP OR GOLD WILL GET YOU!" Emma threatened.

"Shutting up," Hook whispered.

"Look, there's a safety instruction video," Neal said happily.

"What is he saying, my hearing aids are sort of jacked up," Cora said with a blush.

"Just warning the riders about stuff," Charming said nonchalantly.

"Ah. I see. I really really appreciate the thoughtful description," Cora said slowly.

"He's saying to take your hats off, including the Mickey thingies," Neal explained.

"Ahh, well, nobody likes hickeys on rides," Cora said casually.

"No, he said the Mickey hats," Neal said with a frown.

"Ohh. You mean the bra-hats?"

"Yes."

"FINALLY I CAN TAKE THIS GODDAMNED THING OFF!" Gold yelled as they boarded the ride, slipping his hat into the bin.

"Wow, I feel like we're on the plane," Cora said with a smirk.

"I WANT TO SIT NEXT TO REGINA!" Hook cried, running towards the woman like an overexcited puppy.

"Fine, fine," Regina grumbled as she took her seat. "Hey, what the heck?!" she cried out suddenly. "This seat is all wet- oh, really?" she made an uncertain noise at the water leaking over her seat, some rude guest from a previous ride had left their water bottle on the chair and it had leaked everywhere.

"You can sit on my lap if you like!" Hook suggested.

"No way!" Regina recoiled. "Just give me your jacket." Hook sulked but handed her the thing.

"I'm excited for this ride," Snow told Charming.

"I am too," he replied happily. "I've always wanted to fly and stuff."

"Really, then why did you become a knight?" Snow wondered. He pondered this for a moment.

"Well... when I was little, I used to think 'knight' meant 'goldfish', and I really wanted to be a goldfish. Then I thought that it meant 'parrot' and I wanted-" Snow quickly clamped a hand over his mouth.

"We're moving," she said. "I'm scared!"

"It's all right, sweetie pie, I'm sure we aren't that high," Charming said, looking down. His eyes widened.

"HOLY CRAP!" he screamed as he saw a screen displaying the Golden Gate Bridge as the ride swayed accordingly to the movements on the screen, he thought he was actually flying. "WE'RE REALLY HIGH!"

"OH MY GOD! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GET THIS HIGH!" Snow screamed.

"WE'RE SO HIGH!"

"I KNOW RIGHT!"

"I don't like this ride," Gold whined. Belle patted him on the shoulder.

"It's all right, look at the bright side," she pointed out.

"The bright side? Sweetie, I'm getting motion sickness."

Pause.

"Oh... well, there's always a bright side to death," she said slowly. "Darkness is our friend. Darkness is what makes light possible. Without light, there would be no dark, without dark, there would be no light. They need each other to survive." Gold contemplated this for a moment.

"You know... you're right," he said thoughtfully.

"Neal, sweetie, look!" Emma shouted. "If you smell really hard, you can smell pine in this forest scene."

"Really?" Neal took a whiff. "Oh, I wasn't expecting that."

"There's also some tangerine," Emma pointed out. "I love it when they scent rides. It's fun."

"How do you know all these things?" Neal wondered.

"I don't know," Emma admitted. "I think it has something to do with an author whose pen name is that of a color."

Pause.

"That was a long sentence," Neal whispered.

"LOOK, THERE'S WATER!" Emma screamed suddenly.

"IS THERE A FISH?!" Mary Margaret screamed back. "COME MY LITTLE FRIENDS AS WE ALL SING A HAPPY LITTLE SWIMMING SONG! BRING OUT THE TRUMPETS IN ORDER TO PROLONG ALL THE SWEET AND AWESOME LITTLE FEELINGS! MAKING SURE THE DEALINGS ARE APPEALING!" she sang loudly.

"That... is interesting," Emma commented.

"I feel like we're on a magic carpet ride like Aladdin," Henry said slowly.

"But carpets are more bouncy," Regina commented. "They're super unstable. This is more smooth."

"I guess..." Henry said, before pausing. "Wait, is that a spoiler or something for an upcoming season?"

"Chicken potato," Regina said slowly.

"OH MY GOD, I KNOW RIGHT?" Henry screamed.

"LOOK!" Snow screamed suddenly. "WE'RE FLYING OVER DISNEYLAND!" There was a pregnant pause as a sound effect for realization dawning dawned upon the realizing Snow.

"Ohh," she said. "That's why it's called 'Soarin' Over California'!"

"Fireworks!" Henry exclaimed happily, before singing to the lyrics of a certain Katy Perry song.

"OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED THAT FIREWORKS ARE MADE OUT OF FIRE!" Charming suddenly screamed. "DOES THAT MEAN BOX TURTLES ARE MADE OUT OF BOXES?!" And just like that, the prince reevaluated his entire lifetime.

"Once upon a time in Disneyland and California Adventure Park..." Snow narrated slowly.

Grizzly River Run is up next, so get ready!