The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show

by Empress Tansy

Yellowfang, in her retirement, has decided to start a talk-show about motherhood. She's hired Nightcloud as her crazy, often annoying co-host, and together they interview mothers, fathers, kits, and their sons. Occasionally they review books and movies. Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of hashtags, singing, and attacks. Nightcloud is a very problematic co-host. Enjoy!

38. I was in Love, but not with my Mate

Episode 38: "I was in Love, but not with my Mate"

Nightcloud spun in circles around the stage, obviously in a super good mood. "Welcome to The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show! I'm so happy to be here today!"

Yellowfang, who was sitting in her chair, watched Nightcloud with a confused expression on her face. "I'm always happy to be here at the beginning of the show, but for some reason by the end of the show, I'm questioning why I ever liked being on."

"I wonder why," her co-host meowed, collapsing in her chair.

"Right," the gray she-cat mumbled. "You wonder."

Nightcloud shrugged. "So what's our topic for today?"

"I was in Love, but not with my Mate," Yellowfang replied.

"OOO, that sounds interesting!" the black she-cat gasped. "Who's our guest?"

"Um..." Yellowfang started cautiously, not wanting to kill her co-host's good mood.

Nightcloud sighed impatiently. "Tell me!"

"It's...Crowfeather!"

The black she-cat leaped to her paws, her green eyes sparking with anger. "WHAT? Why are you having him on the show?"

"Tansy planned it!" Yellowfang meowed quickly, wanting to pin the blame on someone else.

Nightcloud stared down at the camera-cat furiously. "Tansy, I'm going to attack you for this!" she snarled.

"Well, wait until the end of the show," her co-host mewed.

A dark gray tom padded onto the stage, flashing a look at the black she-cat. "Yeah, Nightcloud," he said mockingly, "wait until the end of the show!"

"Don't make me hurt you!" she spat.

Yellowfang sighed loudly. "Alrighty then, Crowfeather, tell us about who you loved."

The tom settled into a green chair. "Well, I used to love Feathertail, but that was nothing more than a crush." Crowfeather stopped speaking for a moment, his eyes glazing over, as if in a daydream. "Then I met Leafpool..."

"You still love that maggot?!" Nightcloud exclaimed.

Crowfeather sighed happily. "Leafpool..."

"Why do you love Leafpool?" Yellowfang asked.

"How could anyone not love her?" the tom asked. "She's the best she-cat in the whole world!"

A tabby and white she-cat ran up on the stage. "I love you too, Crowy!"

Crowfeather's blue eyes lit up. "Great! Do you want to get back together?"

"Sure!" Leafpool exclaimed.

"You're a tom-stealer!" Nightcloud snarled at the she-cat.

Leafpool rolled her eyes. "You're a maggot-heart!" she replied.

The black she-cat unsheathed her claws, trying to hold her temper. "I'll have you know Justin Bieber gave me an autographed mouse! You're not the only cat who has one!"

"Who cares?" the tabby she-cat shrugged. "He gave me an autographed copy of his book!"

Nightcloud, not being able to stand Leafpool one more moment, launched herself at the she-cat.

Crowfeather leaped to his paws. "Honey, I'll rescue you!" He tried to pull Nightcloud off of the ThunderClan cat, risking the black she-cat turning her anger on him.

"#ihatecrowy #leafpooishorrible #jblovesmetoo" Nightcloud screeched, trying to attack two cats at once.

Leafpool had some hashtags of her own. "#jbwantsmetobehiskittypet #crowyisminenow"

"Oh, for the love of StarClan!" Yellowfang cried, and then turned and ran off the stage.

Tansy hurriedly turned off her camera and followed Yellowfang, not wanting to stay to watch two she-cats fight over Crowfeather.