Title: My Funny Valentine
Rating: T
Characters: Canada, Fem!America, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine
Pairings: RusAme, LietPol and one sided Russia/Belarus
Warnings: Love at first sight and Belarus
Songs: My Funny Valentine – Michael Buble's version
Allison F. Jones was excited when she found that the world tour of the best public speakers was coming to town, but she couldn't go as she had been fired recently and had spent the last of her money on groceries for her and her brother, Matthew Williams, who was now working three jobs to support them. She was even more excited when he came home with two tickets to the final day of the tour.
"Oh, Mattie, you're the best!" She declared.
"I won them at work today. I don't know how, eh." He mumbled, embarrassed.
"Did you get the day off that day?"
"No, I was thinking you could bring Feliks. He loves public speaking as much as you do."
She did bring Feliks with her.
"Like, this is great, Allie!" He said.
She laughed. "I know, right!"
They had to stand against the wall as the place was packed. Every speaker went by and they all sang at the end of their speech.
"Who's next?" Feliks asked her.
"Ivan Braginski from Russia," she replied. He came on stage. Her jaw dropped. "My alien, he's drop dead gorgeous for a Russian."
Feliks, a Pole, snorted, but she was listening to him. "He's probably a bastard, they all are there."
Finally, his speech drew to a close. "I think I will sing…" he suddenly walked off stage and through the audience. A fair amount of the women in the crowd squealed, and a few men also. He stopped near Allison. "May I ask you to join on stage?" He asked her.
She nodded.
"Will you?"
"Sure."
He led her on stage. "I will sing one of my favorite songs to this young lady right here."
My funny valentine
The audience burst into cheers.
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
She scowled like her older brother, Arthur Kirkland. Ivan looked like he was going to laugh.
Yet you're my favorite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek?
She blushed.
Is your mouth a little weak?
She scowled again.
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
She shook her head. He smiled.
Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day
She smiled, having quite a tale to tell Mattie and her friends. First she must remember that he wasn't actually singing about her.
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a nice evening. Ma'am, if you would please go backstage?"
She went backstage where a kind looking man waited with two women. One was scowling and the other was smiling at her.
"Are you the lady Vanya picked from the audience?" The smiling one asked.
At first, Allison wondered who Vanya was, then realized she was referring to Ivan. "Yes," she said, remembering her manners.
"I'm his sister, Yekaterina, but you may call me Katyusha. This is our sister, Natalya, and his best friend and manager, Toris."
Natalya glared at her, super friendly as usual. Toris smiled. "Do you a friend in the audience?"
"Yes, his name is Feliks. He's Polish."
Toris summoned a volunteer at the place and sent him to bring Feliks to where they were. "Mister Ivan must have asked you back here for a reason, I assume."
"I wish he hadn't," Natalya stated.
"Natasha, be nice." Katyusha scolded.
Just then, Ivan appeared. "Hello, sisters, Toris."
"Big brother, who is she?" Natalya asked.
"She? Ah!" He turned to Allison. "May I ask your name?"
"Fine with me!"
"What is your name?"
"Allison."
"Allison?"
"Allison F. Jones."
"Ah! What do you do for a living?"
"I don't have a job, currently."
"Are you in school?"
"No, I graduated college last year."
"Do you have family here?"
"Yes, a brother, Matthew Williams."
"Toris, call Mr. Williams and offer Miss Jones a place on our tour."
"As what, Mr. Ivan?"
"The person I always sing to," he replied before leaving.
Natalya followed. "Brother, I don't like her."
Nobody hear Ivan's reply but all heard Natalya's angry shriek. Katyusha hurried out. "Sister!"
Toris turned to Allison as Feliks entered, but looked at him. They froze when they saw each other. "Hello, I'm Toris."
"Hi, I'm Feliks! It's, like, nice to meet you."
Allison coughed. Toris looked back at her. "I'm sorry; Mister Ivan must really like you if he wants you to join us and if Miss Natalya had that reaction, he does."
"What?" Feliks cried. "Like, this is so totally great!"
"Wait, so if stuck-up sister is pissed, it's good?" Allison asked.
Toris nodded, "and it's more of obsessed sister. Miss Natalya wishes to marry her brother. Mr. Ivan is scared of her and wishes she would give up."
"Incest much?"
"Sadly in that family, yes."
"Epic. I need to talk to Mattie before I join."
He was delighted that she was asked and told her she should go with them. "I'm in," she said to Toris as he swapped phone numbers with Feliks.
"Go home and pack your things. We leave at five p.m."
Natalya slid back in. "Allison, if I find that you stop my brother's heart from me, I will make your life a living hell."
"Sounds to me like you never had it, Naty," was the cheeky reply as she left with Feliks, who laughed at the anger on the other's face.
Two years later found them back in town. Matthew was in the audience the night Ivan spoke. "This is the place where two years ago, I met a very lovely young lady, Allison F. Jones. I would like to call her on stage now."
Allison came up from backstage. "I normally do not sing the same song twice but I will reprise My Funny Valentine tonight." Halfway through the song, he knelt on one knee in front of her. "Allison, will you marry me?"
"Yes," she replied with a nod as the audience cheered, Matthew and Feliks, who was now dating Toris, the loudest.
Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day