Author's Note: I'm so sorry, I forgot to upload this yesterday!
Chapter 34
When Arden awoke, her first sensation was thirst. Her mouth had gone beyond the point of dryness; it felt as though someone had stuffed her mouth full of cotton balls. It was disgusting. Her back was sore from leaning up against the tree and hunger was gnawing a pit through her stomach. Her sleep had not done her very much good. Slowly, she began to blink open her eyes, brain flooded by green and brown for half a second until the colors resolved into the leaves and bark of the trees around them. Hot, damp air brushed against her skin; the air seemed heavy somehow, weighing down on her. The forest had grown even more humid since she fell asleep and the temperature had brought more bugs with it. Slowly, she began to smack the bugs that dotted her skin, leaving red, irritating marks behind. Sweat was dripping slowly down her face. Right now, she wanted a swim, she wanted an ice world, she wanted a drink, she wanted civilization, she wanted to be anywhere but here.
She looked up, finding Vader sitting against a tree across from her, focused on something about his leg. Near him, yet at a respectable distance, the other members of their company remained asleep. The position she had passed out in was no longer as comfortable as it had once seemed, but when she tried to move, she was reminded of her pain with startling violence. Arden let out a small cry as she jarred her unwrapped ankle, which was still bleeding gently. Vader looked up and walked over; the cloth had been ripped away from his knee. There was something wrong with the joint, but she was unwilling to expend the brain power to work it out. Her mind felt as fuzzy as her throat. "How are you?" Vader knelt down beside her, his mask staring into her eyes; she wished she could see the face that lay behind it.
"Thirsty," she croaked, her voice scratchy and raw. They needed to get moving, but she didn't have the energy to voice her thoughts. Instead, she turned to her ankle; she had fallen asleep halfway through retying it. It would need to be redone so that she could actually walk again. If she could find two smaller sticks, that might be able to help her.
"Well, rebind your ankle. I'll wake up everyone else; we should get to that river before nightfall." His voice carried with it no sympathy, but she assumed and hoped that it was there and nodded. It occurred to her that it would be extremely frustrating not to be able to express emotions in voice or facial expressions, but it would be very relaxing too, having no one able to read you without the Force. It didn't matter at that moment however.
What mattered right now was finding two sturdy twigs for her ankle. Trying to move as little as possible, she twisted around, searching the undergrowth with as little movement as she could manage. Arden found a small branch and pulled it out, the bark falling from it as she pulled it free from its nest of leaves and dirt. If she could break it, it would probably be enough, despite the dampness of the wood. It broke with a sharp, clear snap that woke Barriss who sat bolt upright, her braid swinging forward. She saw Vader coming towards her and leapt backwards, jumping into Ferus who was leaned up against a tree. Her master spun around and walked back towards her, his job done.
Arden wrapped one of the bands around the bloody disaster that was her ankle before placing the sticks on either side of it. There might be anything on the branches; the chance of infection in her ankle was already high Arden liked her leg the way it was, better than what it was, she would rather not have it infected and amputated. Without a bacta tank, the odds were higher than she would have liked. Over top of the sticks, she wrapped another strip of fabric, pulling it as tight as she dared without ripping the cloth. The wooden splints dug into the remains of her ankle bones, but she paid it no mind. She needed to be able to walk, if that meant she would be in pain, good. She could use pain.
The Zelatron was awake now too, and everyone was getting up. There was nothing for it but to crawl to her feet with as much dignity as she could muster. She twisted back around, grabbing at the tree and hauling herself up, fingers digging into the bark. She almost didn't make it, but Vader grabbed her by the waist and lifted her to her feet. She gave him a smile, wishing that she could thank him with thoughts instead. Arden looked into the forest, trying to remember which way she had seen the faint sliver of silver-blue that indicated a river. In every direction, the forest stretched, and from ground level, everything looked pretty much the same. Still, she thought she knew the way that they were supposed to be going. For once, no one could sense her doubt; even so, she strived to be confident in herself. They may not be able to read her mind, but her face and voice could still betray her. "It's this way," she said, gesturing in the direction where she thought the river lay.
"I don't think so," Barriss stepped forward; Eclipse stiffened and turned around, glaring at Barriss with bitterness. She had forgotten the haughtiness of the Jedi. "I think it's this way." She could almost hear the pride and confidence oozing from her voice. Barriss pointed into the green gloom several inches to the right of where she had pointed. There was one way to determine who was right, but she was not up for climbing another tree. That had been a mistake last time; her toes had not thanked her no matter how easy that tree had been to climb. She ground her teeth, but thirst drove her onwards. She needed to find that river sooner rather than later and she knew that Barriss could that there and fight for hours.
"Fine," Arden snarled at Barriss, "If we die, it's your fault." She began to stalk off in the gestured direction. In the back of her mind, she thought that Barriss might have been right, not that she would ever dare tell anyone that. She had surrendered enough, gave enough ground already. The woods stretched on around them, nothing was different.
It was infuriating.
She lead on, hoping that she was still going straight, but there was nothing even remotely close to a marker in this pathless forest, just tall trees that loomed stories above her head. As Eclipse walked, the pain in her ankle began to grow worse. The wooden splints didn't seem to be making that much of a difference, instead biting into her leg, causing the pain to grow even more. She endured, pressing on and hoping that the tears sliding down her face could be disguised as sweat. Arden knew that she was stumbling more than striding, nearly tripping over exposed roots, but she couldn't let herself stop. If she stopped, she would be admitting weakness, if she let someone else take the lead she would be unworthy. With Jedi, she couldn't afford to give an inch. So she kept walking, pretending that she was strong, that she wasn't nearly gasping with pain, that she didn't want anything more than to just stop.
Arden managed another for another couple of steps before she fell on to her face. It was a root that tripped her, a root that had somehow managed to form the perfect tripping loop. She fell flat on her face, and for several long moments, she didn't even try to move. Eclipse just lay there, feeling the twigs and leaves that jabbed into her face. She took in the hair that lay over her eyes and tickled her nose and cast a dark pallor across the forest scape. The burning pains that laced her legs and feet, flared through her mind. The stuffy dryness permeated her mind and throat. Tears welled in her eyes and trickled slowly down her face. She knew that she needed to be strong, pretend that she was a wellspring of dark energy and power. No one would take her seriously otherwise.
She placed her scratched palms down on the rough forest floor and tried to push herself up. Her arms buckled before she could manage it. So instead, she tried just to push herself onto her knees. There she succeeded, but no further, her broken ankle twisted and screaming, typically, it had been the one to get caught
No one moved, no one talked, all was still. There was only the lazy buzzing of bugs and hiss of Vader's breath. She didn't try to move herself again for a moment. With a shaking breath, Eclipse gathered up her strength. Tears slowed to a standstill, though she could not dull her pain. Instead, she took it in, forcing it to make her stronger. Even without the Force she could try and make it work. Arden stood up, regardless how the rest of her body protested, she did it. With shallow breaths, she started to walk again, the rest of their group following behind her, their feet snapping branches beneath them. The anger and pain filled her, and she kept going, letting it cleanse her and fill her, burning everything else away. Nothing mattered in her universe but the next step, then the next and then the next. She kept her back straight, her shoulders tight, her head up. That was a mistake. There were too many roots and snarls; she had to keep watching lest she fall again. If she went down again, she wouldn't be getting back up.
Arden managed what might have been fifteen minutes before she tripped again.
After that, no power in the galaxy could make her get up again. No matter how much she tried to convince herself she needed to get up, the pain was just too bad, a fire that filled her at every movement. Arden thought of Ferus, of how he was still managing, even with a broken leg. At that moment, she just wanted everyone to leave her here. Everything just hurt too badly; death would be easier, less pain. She wasn't going to make it, she didn't think she wanted to any more. She could not think past her own discomfort and misery. There was too much pain and thirst. Her head ached as thought it was about to explode. When Vader knelt down she tried to tell him to so, but the words wouldn't come out, and her gasping sobs wouldn't stop. He lifted her up carefully, giving her a view of the faces of Ferus and Barriss. They didn't look shocked exactly, but they did look confused that a powerful Sith Lord would care so much about a lowly apprentice. Arden took in the trees behind them, taking in the sight of several small, lizard like creatures that she now realized she had seen several times before, but never really noticed. It must have been the dehydration, but there was something about the lizard that seemed off, thought she couldn't but a finger on what it was. It was about the length of her arm, a dull yellow-brown color that blended with the bark of the trees. They seemed to watch their movements as they left, but that was silly, they were just lizards.
Life was easier in Vader's arms, as it usually seemed. He kept her safe; he could do anything. Anything but help her leg that was. It still hurt, even with no weight on it. Every step that Vader took sent red-hot daggers through her, but she said nothing.
It was getting very hot in the forest, the temperature increasing with every passing hour. It was cloyingly humid too, the air wet with water. Every breath was full of the smell of moldering plant matter and heat. If only they could drink the water that hung heavy in the air around them. She felt groggy; dehydration was getting a hold of her.
She had passed out by the time they reached the river. Vader shook her awake as gently as he could. Her eyes opened lazily, the cool blue water lay before her, a wide lazy river. Nothing had ever looked as beautiful to her in that moment as the river. The group stumbled down the steep rock and root bank as one. They were too exhausted and dehydrated to even give an exclamation of joy. Vader laid her at the edge of the water, her feet soaking in the cool river. Arden pushed herself forwards and leaped into the river, forgetting for a moment that her knowledge of swimming was limited to the minimal training of a clone trooper many, many years ago and the sharp pains that laced her ankle and side. None of it mattered anyway. All that mattered was the blissfully cool water that encompassed her, taking away all of her heat and pain.
Not caring about the quality or health of the water, she gulped it down. Her throat stopped burning; she could actually feel the water running through her, dulling the ache that had filled her. No sensation had ever been so sweet. She came up out of the water, gasping in the air that now felt warm and wonderful against her skin. She got onto her knees, water sluicing off of her as the gentle current billowed past her. She bent down and swallowed more water. Eclipse knew in the back of her mind that she shouldn't drink too much, but it was hard to make herself stop when it felt so good. Instead, she fell back under the water, letting it encompass her, her fingers reaching back to scrub the sweat and grime and dirt from her hair.
Arden looked around, startled to see how far she had drifted downstream. Vader still stood on the shore, unwilling to risk the mechanical parts of his body in emersion in water. She went to the middle of the river to try to swim back up. The Force suddenly hit her, filling her mind and her body as suddenly as though someone had flicked on a switch. Eclipse let of a laugh of pure joy. The world looked instantly bright and sharper; she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Everything was alright now. She had the Force with her once more. Ferus, Barriss and the Zelatron were watching her as though she had gone crazy, but they were all irrelevant There was only one thing missing. Vader's mind.
He still couldn't feel the Force, they were still apart. The smile on her face faltered. She could reach his mind, but he couldn't respond. What is making the Force go away? She wondered as she embraced the powers of darkness again, using them to shoo away the bugs that insisted on landing on every inch of skin not covered by water. Her itches soothed, her pain abated, she focused on the mystery. Would the Force remain if she went to the left or the right? Carefully, she experimented. It did. Immediately, she stepped back into the middle of the river, watching the colors of the world burst forth. Everyone was watching her strangely.
"I can feel the Force here!" She beamed suddenly, laughter filling her voice. Ferus and Barriss practically ran over to the middle and she watched their faces light up as well. It was amazing how beautiful people were when they were carelessly happy. Ferus' eyes crinkled, mouth curving up in the corners. Barriss smiled widely, the sides of her mouth crinkling, her eyes full of wonder and light. Eclipse turned back to Vader, still standing on the shore. He looked so forlorn, so abandoned; she felt his mind in the Force, wishing she could resolve this situation somehow. But she couldn't, no more than Vader could fix her broken ankle. Her heart went out to him and she walked back to the shore, her slight limp becoming a hobble as she left the bubble of the Force. Arden sat on the bank next to him, her feet dangling in the water as she combed out her damp hair. He said nothing, he didn't need to. Vader stood tall above her, watching Ferus and Barriss laughing in the river. She couldn't just leave him standing here all alone while she splashed in the river with their enemies. The Force was freedom, but it was no better than chains when she was alone in her mind.
Barriss basked in the golden glow of the Force as she stood in the middle of the river, water rushing around her waist. She never wanted to move again. Here she was whole, entire. She felt less pain when the Force was with her; she was more awake. The world was more real, vibrant and clear. Now that Arden had left, called back by her master, the Force was whiter and lighter as well. She looked over at Ferus; he was standing there, eyes closed with a smile that stretched across his face. He looked utterly ridiculous, but she guessed that she looked much the same. It wasn't perhaps the smartest way to present themselves in front of the implacable Sith Lords, but what could she do but laugh?
There was something in the back of her mind that was bothering her about Vader and Arden. Something about their relationship. Something seemed wrong about them. Sith Lords didn't smile with the purest joy, didn't laugh with wonder like Arden. They didn't give a damn about their apprentices; they certainly didn't lift them into their arms as gently as a parent would lift their child. To compound the strangeness, Arden had left the Force with no visible command, returning to powerlessness to stand by her master.
It simply didn't match up with what she knew about Sith Lords and Darth Vader. He was the embodiment of evil and darkness. He didn't care about anyone or anything. How could such a creature incur that level of loyalty and devotion in any other being? It was confusing, it was uncomfortable. Barriss didn't want him to be humanized; she wanted him to remain a faceless monster ready to kill everyone and everything in his path.
She turned back towards the river and the Force. What did it matter what or who Vader was? Who cared why Arden was so devoted to him? She still had to kill him. He was still a monster, no matter how he treated his apprentice or how she treated him. His mission was still to kill Jedi, to spread fear. She had no doubt that if either her or Ferus became unnecessary; he would kill them in a moment. Barriss let her hair down, unweaving her long braid and letting it float behind her in the river. She took a deep breath and ducked her head under the water, blue green flooding her vision. She shook her head, hoping to clear it of debris and sweat. The sun shone down on her as she reemerged, light dancing across the water. For the first time she could see this world as something beautiful, tall proud trees and glistening crystal water Now that she wasn't dying of thirst, grimy and sweaty, she could appreciate nature as she was supposed to.
The Force helped her new perspective as well; she tried to reach out into the depths of the forest, to see if she could find any trace of people nearby. But she couldn't sense anything in the forest, couldn't even see it in her mind. It was though it was empty, gone, as though it didn't exist. The hundreds and hundreds of miles of forest and she couldn't sense anything of this world except for the slender strip in the middle of the river where she could feel the Force, a strip of river where she sensed no sentient minds. It was the most bizarre thing she had ever encountered. Barriss had never even heard of something like this. What in the galaxy could stop the Force?
"So, what now?" Ferus suddenly asked, a silly smile still plastered on his face. Hers was gone, ripped away by the mysteries of the Sith and the disappearance of the Force.
"Well, I think we should just follow the river, what else can we do?" There were no other options that she could think of. There were no settlements here, no people. The forest was not a good path, their mornings trek had proved that.
She looked up at the sun, trying to judge what time it was, the sun had reached its zenith some time ago and was beginning its descent to the horizon. It this world had fairly standard rotation period, than she guessed that they had about five or so hours until the sun went down. She hadn't seen any of the monsters, so by this point, she felt she could now assume that they were purely nocturnal. She would like to have stopped and healed Ferus and the Zelatron, but she was still hungry and tired and they could be standing here for hours while she worked, and then there was the Sith. Would they want her to heal them too? No, they had a couple of options. They could keep walking for five hours or so, or they could spend some collecting resources and building weapons of some kind. The last option was the one she would choose, the middle rout, walk for three hours or so and then stop shortly before sunset to build a fire and make some spears as well as find something to eat.
Barriss proposed her ideas, yelling them across the river to their unwilling partners. To her surprise, they all agreed with her. Now, her only complaints were hunger and exhaustion, but that was a dull ache, nothing compared to the thirst of half an hour ago. Besides, food would not be so hard to come by here. Water naturally called creatures to its banks, and every once and a while, a fish slipped by her legs, brushing her with delicate fins and rough scales. With the Force, it would be easy to catch them. In moment, the company had started to walk again. She had Ferus continued walking in the middle, despite the struggle of wading through water that was up to her waist, the Force made up for it. She could just faintly sense the minds of Arden and Vader, just out of reach though they were not even ten meters from her. Beyond them, she felt nothing even though she could see the signs of life in the little dull yellow lizards that dotted the trees.
Neither Arden nor Vader joined her in the tiny area of the Force. Perhaps Vader couldn't go into the water, and Arden refused to leave him, walking in the shallows of the river just to keep her feet cool. The Sith girl left a little trial of blood in the water behind her, the red liquid drifting from her right ankle. Syann walked behind her and Arden, still confused as to the source of their joy. Barriss tried to explain to her as they waded.
After an hour or so, the river began to lose a little of its magic. Despite the happiness that came with the Force, it became harder and harder to walk through the water that sloshed around her. The air was still impossibly hot and still the incessant bugs remained, hovering around her like a cloud. They were small, but oh so irritating, every time they bit her, they left little red marks behind that demanded to be scratched with all the authority of an Emperor. She was covered in them, except for what was buried under water. The horrible creatures even manage to get her through her damp shirt. Ferus walked beside her in silence, eyes fixed ahead, she knew what he was thinking about and had no wish to make it real by mentioning anything out loud. It was enough that she could faintly feel the pain of the few survivors of the massacre of Bellassa. Her imagination was working overtime, creating horrific images of what might had been, of blood and fire and death, for broken bodies and twisted, burned out of shells of homes. There was only Syann to distract her form her mind as they walked, regaling her with tales of wild parties on Zelos. She was a sweet woman who just seemed to want everyone to be happy. She was a bit vapid, but at least she was talking.
Barriss took several steps away from the middle, feeling the river sink down to her knees. The Force disappeared as suddenly as a light switch being flicked off. Barriss felt as though something essential had vanished from herself, but the going was easier. It was at that moment, she remembered that the weapon the Force could be. She could use it on Darth Vader, lightning could fly from her fingers, he could rise up into the air, grasping at his throat. However, to kill him would draw on the powers of darkness that he represented. What would become of her if she did that? Could she afford to care what would happen to her soul? Could she do it? Could she kill Arden too? Arden was a Sith Lord; she was evil too, no matter how happy and innocent that she had looked in the river. She was darkness; Barriss had felt the nature of her soul. Should she try and turn her back towards the light? Was she too far gone? She might try to kill Barriss if she tried that. A part of her was still looking at Arden as the little girl looking up to her in the Temple, but she was long gone, burned away and replaced with this soulless creature who wore her face and name. The weight on her shoulders was uncomfortably heavy, but what was she to do? Well, she didn't have to decide right now, she told herself. She could put it off for the moment. They needed these Sith Lords, for now.
At that moment, Ferus fell, splashing into the water. For a long moment, he was gone. The river was smooth and undisturbed. Instant panic raced through her that she tried to calm as she spun around, searching desperately. Water splashed up around her as she twisted and turned, but she paid no mind. He emerged several meters downstream, gasping and coughing. "Ferus!" She and Syann yelled, wading downstream as fast as she could, water getting into her eyes and blurring them, the Zelatron running with her. Barriss knelt down into the river beside him. "Are you alright?" Vader and Arden stopped. Syran knelt beside her.
"I think so," he groaned, Barriss tactfully ignored the tears of pain that slid down his face. The fuchsia woman took a different tact, wiping the tears off his face. He tried to stand up, using and arm from Barriss and Syann each, his face contorting with pain. They moved as a trio to where the water was shallower, he didn't take his weight off of her or Syann, who didn't look to healthy herself. His face was white. She glanced up at the sun again, startled to find how far it had sunk, only an hour or so remained before the sun sank behind the trees, true evening would follow about an hour or so after that, she assumed.
Well, we'll carry him as long as we can manage. She thought to herself as she staggered forwards in ankle deep water.
Everyone but Vader was struggling by the time they found a good spot to camp for the night. The sun had nearly past the tree line, though true night was still several hours away. The river had widened significantly and the bank had almost disappeared, the forest growing right up to the shore. They found a thin rocky islet no more than three meters wide and about ten meters long, separated from one shore by five or so meters and about fifteen on the other side. The current was running faster now the middle of the river was crawling with rapids. It would be a risk for any creature to cross there. It seemed like as good of a place as they could have hoped to find. With a grateful sigh, she lowered Ferus onto the ground, feeling suddenly as light as a feather.
Her hunger had grown worse so that it was a nearly and all consuming thought, making her feel woozy and lightheaded. As soon as they had stopped, all thinking the same think, though no one said a word, Vader turned abruptly and walked into the forest, disappearing in moments. Startled, Barriss turned to Arden, who sat at the edge of their camp, untangling a rust-colored bandage. The Sith hissed as cold water hit the open, weeping wound that was her ankle. It looked incredibly painful, it appeared the bandages and sticks had been so tight to her leg that they had caused new injuries of their own. She was slowly cutting her way through her ankle in an attempt to stay walking, Barriss realized before turning back the matter at hand. "Arden, where is Vader going?" She said, trying not to feel a grudging admiration for the strength of the young woman.
Any such feelings vanished in an instant as she received a haughty, disgusted stare in returned. "My name is Darth Eclipse," she said slowly, poison lacing her words, "and my master is going to get wood." Then she turned back to her ankle and her bandages, trying to wash away the worst of the blood and pus, paying no more attention to Barriss than if she had been a tree. Barriss gave a sigh, rolling her eyes before walking away. Being an ass wasn't going to help them survive, but apparently the Sith weren't getting the message. She went over to the far side of the camp, to where the water was deepest, hoping to grab some fish. She wanted to go out further, to where she would be able to feel the currents of the Force and catch her prey more easily, but for that she would have to stand in white rapids in the dark and she already knew she wouldn't make it without the Force. Instead, she sat and closed her eyes, calming her mind and empting it of all emotions, good and ill.
Catching fish was hard work.
Barriss soon realized that trying to grab fish with bare hands was not the most effective way to go about the task but she had no other tools. Vader had reemerged from the forest then with an armful of lumber. She estimated it was at least three times more than the rest of them could hope to carry, even when they were at full strength. How much of him is even alive anymore? She wondered as she noted the glint of metal where his suit had torn. Grabbing a stick from the pile, she tried to use it as a spear. That seemed easier in theory, but this distortion of the water was really getting to her. If only she had more survival knowledge without the help of the Force, but after half an hour of moping and missing, she pushed the desire away, there was no point in wishing for it. It wishes worked, she would be far from here.
Eventually, she had caught five fish, but by then she was sore and faint with hunger. Barriss was soaked as well and the orange was almost gone from the sky to be replaced by hues of grey and indigo A roaring fire was going as she stumbled back towards it. Arden… Darth Eclipse had managed to find a number of some sort of tube root vegetable that she was roasting over the fire. With that and the foot-long fish, it should be enough for the night. Using the large leaves that Syann had found as plates and fingers as utensils, they ate in silence. "We need to organize watches," Eclipse said as soon as the leaves had been through into the fire. Barriss wasn't exactly full, but she certainly felt a lot better. "I'm going first." Vader said unexpectedly, she hadn't heard him speak except quietly to Arden. His voice was deep and mechanized, all traces of life gone from his tone.
"I will too," Ferus burst in quickly. If Barriss could have seen Vader's eyes, she knew he would be glowering at Ferus, but he said nothing, seeming almost reluctant to talk. No one argued those choices. "I'll wake you up in a couple of hours," Ferus said. Barriss curled up on a thin mat of leaves that in no way made the rocks more comfortable. Her last thought was despair at ever falling asleep with Sith Lords so near.