The cobbler exploded on Robbie's face in a cloud of caramelized apple shrapnel. He staggered back, his arms pinwheeling to keep his balance. As he wiped the gobs of gooey filling and flecks of pastry away from his eyes and mouth Trixie belted out whole hearted laughter.
Robbie bared his teeth in a growl. "That's it," he said. Turning to the card table he grabbed one of the pies that still remained. "Catch this, you big-mouthed brat!" With a snarl he pitched the pie at Trixie.
Trixie ducked the baked projectile. It brushed her pigtails as it continued along its trajectory at full speed. There was nothing anyone could do but watch as the pie careened into Bessie's food stand and collided with the woman.
Bessie spluttered through the pastry. She scraped it out of her hair and off her face in frantic swipes, revealing her bright red cheeks and flashing eyes.
"Robbie. ROTTEN!" Bessie bellowed.
Nobody moved, all wide eyed as they looked between Bessie and Robbie. Up on the stage Robbie was equally paralyzed, his face pale, lips parted in dumb surprise. He raised his hands up and shook them.
"I didn't—"
Letting out a war cry Bessie grabbed the closest thing at hand, a hefty plate loaded with apple turnovers, and chucked the whole thing at the stage. Robbie shielded himself with his arms and dove behind the table. The crystal in the center of Sportacus' uniform lit up with an urgent flash. The piping hot pastries rained down, bursting open to splatter bits of apple everywhere. The plate, flipping end over end, bounced off Milford's chest.
"Oof!" Milford's guttural exclamation made the microphone cut out.
"Oh, no!" Bessie gasped, clapping her hands to her face. Her eyes blazed at Robbie. "Now look what you made me do!"
The mayor tottered back from the podium until his legs hit the edge of the card table. With a lurch the portly man crashed down and flipped the entire table over in the process, launching every last pie into the audience.
"Take cover!" Stephanie shouted.
Everyone and everything was pelted with pies. Robbie peeked out from behind the overturned table in time to see Trixie lob a baked apple at him and he scarcely managed to dodge it. He returned fire, flinging strudel and muffins in every direction.
"Trixie wait!" Stephanie grabbed Trixie's arm but the pigtailed girl just reached for the nearest tart or turnover with her other hand.
"Enough's enough, Pinkie," Trixie said, "Robbie's bitten off more than he can chew this time!" She threw the food but Stephanie yanked her around and fouled up her aim at the last moment. The sticky slice beaned Stingy on the shoulder.
"Hey! What's the big idea?" Stingy let out a frustrated yelp. He scooped a handful of apple pie filling and flung it back at Trixie, spraying both her and Stephanie. "How do you like it?" Trixie answered him by throwing another tart at him, this time on purpose.
"You want to throw my food? Fine!" Bessie yelled. She chucked cakes and puddings and all manner of apple desserts out from her food stand.
"No more pie," Ziggy moaned.
"It's okay, Ziggy, just get under the bench," Pixel said, pushing the smaller boy down out of harm's way and scrambling in after him.
"Mayor, are you all right?" Sportacus jumped the steps up the stage and knelt over the man. Slinging one arm over his shoulder he pulled Milford to his feet. The mayor wobbled and touched at his chest with his free hand.
"Oh. Oh my." Milford raised his hand from his chest to the back of his head, looking around groggily. "This is not part of the scheduled events."
"It's all right, Mayor. Let's get you down from here."
Sportacus turned towards the stairs just in time for a glob of apple crisp a la mode to splatter across his face. He sputtered and spat out the mixture of sugary fruit and ice cream. As he tried to take another step he wavered on the spot. His crystal, flashing a rapid white pulse up to now, darkened to a deep red glare. His eyes rolled back into his head and he let go of the mayor before crumpling to the floor. The mayor toppled back over and sprawled out beside him.
Robbie poked his head out from behind the overturned table again, a handful of goopy apples at the ready. His furtive peek roved across the mob of squalling kids and raging woman before resting on the two men lying on the stage. His eyes widened and he stumbled out into the open, blundering through the next wave of flying foodstuffs.
"Hold on! Hold it!" Robbie shouted.
With the villain out from behind his cover it was open season. Trixie and Stingy stopped throwing food at each other and united once more to direct their attention at the stage.
"Get him!" Stingy pointed at the man.
"Fire at will!" Trixie declared.
"Get it while it's hot!" Bessie shoved out trays of new ammunition.
The pastries came flying thick and fast. Robbie covered his face with his arms but held his ground and took the brunt of the assault. He was pummeled by candied apples, bespattered by sluices of cider, and caked all over with sticky crumble and crisp. When the volley finally subsided Robbie lowered his arms and raised his own shout.
"WILL YOU LISTEN?"
The kids held their fire, fistfuls of dumpling and cake held at the ready. Robbie pointed down at his feet where Sportacus and the mayor lay indisposed. Milford had managed to roll over onto his stomach and was in the process of pushing himself up. Sportacus did not move.
"Uncle, are you okay?" Stephanie cried.
"Yes, I'm all right," Milford said. He slipped around as he got to his feet, the floor slippery with apple pulp and sugary sauces.
"What's wrong with Sportacus?" Ziggy asked, coming out from underneath his bench.
"Robbie Rotten!" they all yelled.
Robbie ground his teeth together and rolled his eyes. He stomped off the stage. The children backed away from him but did not take their eyes off of him. Stalking across the town square he made a beeline for the bucket set up to play bobbing for apples. Robbie sloshed water over the side of the tub as he pulled out the biggest apple he could find.
Everyone watched as Robbie marched back up the stairs of the stage. He knelt down beside Sportacus and propped the man's head up with one hand. With the other he wedged the apple into Sportacus' mouth enough for his teeth to puncture the fruit. Sportacus chewed automatically.
The red light ebbed away from Sportacus' crystal and he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Robbie. When their eyes met Robbie's face relaxed, but only for a moment. He clenched his jaw again and scrubbed Sportacus' face briskly with one of the racing bibs strewn about the stage. Sportacus sat up and leaned away from the aggressive rubdown, fending it off with one hand.
"Sportacus, are you okay?" Stephanie called to him.
"I think so," Sportacus said. He jumped to his feet. Robbie was slower to rise up beside him. He worked his mouth a bit and smoothed his mustache across his face. "What happened?"
"Robbie ruined the party again," Stingy said. "What else is new?"
"That's enough," Sportacus said.
They all fell silent.