CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

WIZARDING TRASH AND A MONSTER

Remus, James and Sirius walked around Hogsmeade together. Wendy was with Lily and her friends and Peter was with his new 'girlfriend' Talia Bullstrode. She was out of his league and completely wrong for him.

"Does anyone know why Peter is dating Talia?" asked James as he rifled through the trunk of discount items at Zonko's.

Remus held a small box containing five mini Dungbombs, inspecting the instructions on the back.

"My guess is low self-esteem. Also, he's reached his sexual peak and is desperate for some sort of relations with any…species…" Remus smirked.

"Everything about that sentence made me sick," blanched Sirius.

Remus laughed softly and placed the box back on the shelf. He turned around to see Sirius and James examining bag of dissolving bull-frogs. Remus ran his fingers through his hair and rolled his eyes.

"What on earth do you plan on doing with those?" he groaned.

Sirius turned around, beaming and held the bag out to Remus. James wore a proud smile on his face as Remus finally accepted the bag, sighing. He read the back of the bag that explained that there were four bullfrogs within, small ones that when hydrated came to life. After a minute of terrorizing the target of your choice, they would explode a liquid that would make the warts sprout from their face. The warts would last for a total of forty five seconds.

"What do you think, Moony?" asked Sirius eagerly.

Remus stroked his chin thoughtfully and looked up to ceiling with contemplation in his eyes. He exhaled loudly and shrugged.

"Could be fun. Female target would most likely generate the most entertainment. They are far more prone to flip out over physical mutations than men. Also, the fact that it lasts less than a minute means that we would get to observe the effects longer. In my understanding, targets tend to run at the first sight of trouble. Since it is a brief experience, we'll get to witness the whole ordeal. We just needed to target the right group," he mused handing the bag to James then putting his hands in the pockets of his pea coat.

"Yes, but it doesn't explain how to choose a target," James remarked.

"Judging by their beginning state where hydration will disrupt them from their dormancy, my guess is that we aim them at the target before we hydrate them then they attack what they see. Look at the back upper right hand corner. Product of Zonkos and Disruption Inc. Disruption Inc. often makes their products with a more hands on touch. That's what I'm basing my opinion on. Like I said, it could be fun. The Aguamenta spell should be perfect here. We just need to isolate the frogs so our aim is perfect. If we miss just once then the whole thing is shot," shrugged Remus.

Sirius pointed at Remus and grinned.

"You're my kind of prefect, Lupin," he snickered.

Remus's smiled slightly and rubbed the back of his neck with anxious grunt.

"Please don't remind me of that. Oh, bloody hell. I am the worst at that job."

"Not necessarily. You've stopped us from pranking Severus for four months straight. This is not me endorsing that, by the way. Do NOT take it that way," Sirius said in a snarky tone as they started towards the checkout.

Remus followed James and Sirius, his eyes lingering on his feet as usual. Every now and then he would look up. The intention was to prevent people from seeing the scars on his face. The sales clerk was a pretty girl and Sirius found no problem hitting on her.

"You actually look pretty brilliant in the Zonkos uniform. Truly. Not many people can pull that off," Sirius winked.

The sales clerk giggled as she accepted the money from James. She bagged their items and handed them over.

"So, what are you up to later?" Sirius asked.

The girl looked confused then opened her mouth to answer, brows furrowed.

"Well, that's enough of that," Remus exhaled, steering Sirius out the door by his shoulders.

James shook with laughter as they exited the store, Remus patted Sirius on the back who simply smiled.

"It was going to be a no," Sirius chuckled.

Remus snorted back laughter and pushed Sirius away gently.

"'Oh! I'm flattered but no thank you!'" James said in a high pitched voice.

The three headed towards the Three Broomsticks.

"'That's so kind of you, but sadly, I need to go home and wash my pillow-cases,'" Remus added, also in a girl voice.

"What? I'm not THAT bad! I'm very interesting and handsome and have good hair and sparkling eyes," Sirius protested.

James laughed heartily as Remus shook his head and sniggered at Sirius's defense. Sirius's eyes shifted between the both of them as they walked down the street, maneuvering around other people.

"Sirius, why do ninety percent of your defenses always include your hair? If not your hair then everything else having to do with your physical appearance?" Remus cried, smiling.

"I don't have much going for me!"

James and Remus scoffed, entering the Three Broomsticks. The thought was ridiculous. This handsome, funny, clever, pureblood wizard thought that his best attribute was his hair.

"Though your hair is glorious, you've got a lot going for you!" James insisted.

They stepped into the queue to order Butterbeers.

"Such as? I'm Wizarding Trash. Bellatrix didn't help me," Sirius muttered, though smiling Remus and James could see the genuine sadness in his eyes.

They exchanged looks of concern.

"Three Butterbeers," Sirius ordered, setting down some Sickles before the worker.

"Oh, Sirius, I can pay…" Remus murmured.

He reached into the pocket of his coat and felt a single Sickle. That was all he had at a time and probably for the next few weeks. Sirius shook his head, giving Remus a knowing look over his shoulder. He knew that Remus had little to nothing to spend. He was assuredly the least wealthy of the bunch. Remus often felt ashamed that they would purchases unnecessary things for him which was why he would come up with brilliant plans for pranks. He felt as though he was earning his keep. The clerk slid three mugs of Butterbeer to them. They gathered their things and walked over to a vacant table. James and Remus hadn't forgot Sirius's previous remark.

"Sirius, you can't possibly think that about yourself," James said as the three sat.

"Think what?" he asked nonchalantly.

Remus gave Sirius a knowing look. Sirius exhaled sharply and smiled, shaking his head.

"Oh, please. It doesn't bother me. Things definitely improved when my deranged cousin was expelled…" he muttered, taking a sip.

James gnawed his lower lip, glancing at Remus who traced the rim of his mug with his long fingers, brows furrowed.

"Sirius, you're not Wizarding Trash. You know that, right? You know that! You're the best Black there is! My parents wouldn't be letting you live with us if you were Wizarding Trash," asserted James.

"I really don't care if people think I am. I know they do and I really don't care," Sirius shrugged.

James looked helplessly at Remus who raised his brows. James nodded at him urging him to give one of his famous, rational, rallying speeches. Remus ruffled his hair and sat his hands down flat on the table, he gave Sirius a look. Sirius met his gaze and groaned.

"Here it comes…" Sirius muttered.

"Sirius, I've never heard you refer to yourself as Wizarding Trash until that confrontation with Lucius. Ever since then, James, Peter and I have heard you call yourself as such about five times. That's five times too many, Sirius. Why Lucius Malfoy's opinion has gotten to you I will never understand. Not only is he a small, egotistical, miserable sod of child but he has absolutely nothing you want. Unless you have someone secret urge to become arrogant prick," Remus explained.

"Oh, Moony, please. I'm no longer associated with family. I live with the Potters now. Lucius's comments mean nothing to me."

"Obviously not…" mumbled James.

Sirius offered a sheepish grin.

"My family is trash. It's true. I have no problem admitting that. I'm just calling it like it is! I'm telling the truth. I am Wizar-"

"Hold it. Hold it. Stop," Remus said calmly.

Sirius raised his brows at Remus, prompting him to continue. Remus motioned for them all to move in closer so they could hear what he was about to say.

"Why is it okay for you to tell me not to talk about me being a monster when it's true, but when I tell you not to call yourself Wizarding Trash it's okay?" asked Remus, cocking a brow.

Sirius shrugged, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Because it's true. I am. What you say isn't true. You aren't a monster…" Sirius whispered.

James sideways glanced at Remus who glanced back at him. His lips twitched up in a smile that James mirrored.

"Sirius, I'm a bloody werewolf. I'm classified as a monster. The description of what I am in 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' is literally: a beast who may appear human by day, but transforms into a monstrous wolf on the zenith of full moons.' I am literally described as a monster on paper in an official, government approved textbook," Remus grinned.

Sirius cracked a genuine smile.

"Find me a textbook about The Noble House of Black that states they are Wizarding Trash. I don't know of a single book that says that. Sirius, I've read a lot of books."

"He has. You know that," James agreed.

Sirius leaned back in his chair again, smiling again. Remus and James straightened up, Remus finally taking a guilt free sip of his Butterbeer. After a moment of grinning to himself, Sirius raised his mug.

"To James-a totally NOT over eager prat who flaunts his Quidditch success!" Sirius proposed.

The three clinked mugs and took a drink.

"To Sirius-NOT Wizarding Trash with fantastic hair!" added Sirius.

The clinked mugs once more.

"To Remus-A NOT monster who doesn't go around making eloquent speeches to prove how brilliant he is!" he remarked raising his mug again.

Remus cringed looking around to see if anyone had heard Sirius and was pleased when they hadn't. They chugged back their drinks and blanched.

"That's very sweet," James coughed.

"Whimp," Sirius opposed.

Remus shook his head, laughing softly.

"I just felt myself develop Type 2 Diabetes," he choked.

Sirius and James laughed, patting Remus on the back as he blanched.

"Bloody hell, I can feel my arteries clogging. This is what it feels like to be water boarded by sugar water," added Remus.

Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

"We need to get him to Saint Mungos," joked James.

"Something tells me that Remus won't be treated for sugar intake at Saint Mungos."

"That observation is astute," Remus nodded.

The three spent the night together, savoring each moment. Graduation was oncoming and after they left Hogwarts it would never be the same. They could only hope that it got better.