(note from me at the end of the chapter)

"Pancakes might be my new obsession," Chad admitted and lied down on the grass. I giggled.

"Are you cheating on French toasts with them?" I asked. He smiled.

"Oh, never. French toast is still my number one… pancakes should be satisfied with the second place. In my book that's an honor."

We were at the park, near the lake. I looked ahead and observed ducks diving in the water, cleaning their feathers or just chasing each other alongside the bank. It was really warm outside and there was barely any breeze in the air. It was very quiet, too. All we could hear was quacking or children's laughter coming from a nearby playground.

I was glad to finally spend some alone time with Chad. He was very drawn the previous day, so seeing him smile and make jokes made me stop worrying about him. I knew he'd get over it eventually and I was happy it happened so fast.

"We should start carrying a blanket," he said after a long moment of silence. I turned to him and he ran his hand over the grass. "My butt feels wet."

"Well, it did rain yesterday."

"Oh, you're telling me this now? This is a new shirt!" he said and quickly sat up. I laughed and checked his back.

"Don't worry, it's fine," I told him and brushed off a few blades of grass off his T-shirt. "Besides, it's dark red. I think my skirt is in much more trouble."

He glanced at my mauve skirt and smirked. "You could always sit on my lap, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm good," I said and turned around, so he couldn't see me blush. "You're in a good mood today, aren't you?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked and reached to his backpack to pull out a bottle of water. "I didn't get a single F, I didn't get detention, I didn't get hit with a baseball during practice, I ate pancakes and now I'm spending my afternoon with you. I've had a good day."

"How come your mom let you stay out today?" I wondered. "You were supposed to be grounded until Saturday."

"I know, but I talked to her and told her you agreed to help me study, and that we would go to the library after school," he said and took a sip of water. I gasped.

"You lied to her?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No… I didn't lie. We will study, but later… Later this week, for sure," he explained. I sighed.

"Chad, I don't like this," I told him seriously. "I don't want you lying to your mother."

Chad rolled his eyes in response.

"Relax, Tay. It's not a big deal. I had to tell her something. I've been a dick to you for the past two weeks and I wanted to make it up. Today just seemed like a good opportunity, so I made up a story about us studying," he defended himself. "Besides, after what she told me, I think I deserve to spend some time with you."

I furrowed my brows at him. "And what did she tell you?" I asked. Chad realized what he said and sighed.

"Never mind. Bottom line is, we're not gonna get in trouble, I promise," he assured and looked into my eyes. "And I will need your help this week, so I guess it wasn't a complete lie."

I was still upset that he lied to his mother and made me a part of this, but I trusted his instinct. He knew what he was doing. I mean, Chad wasn't one to break his parents' rules. If he was able to stay out after school, it was only due to his mother's permission. I knew that if she disagreed, he would had headed straight home after his practice.

"You can come over to my place on the weekend," I told him and looked ahead, at the lake. "My parents are leaving on Wednesday, but I won't let you come over when you're still grounded."

"Where are they going?" he asked. It irritated me slightly that he managed to change the subject so fast, but I decided to drop it. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I probably wouldn't be able to talk any sense into him. I figured it'd be best if I just let him do what he thought was right.

"It's their twentieth anniversary on Thursday, so they're leaving for four days," I explained. "They're going to some little town on the coast, about a two hour drive from here. Dad managed to find a cute hotel there."

"Oh, that sounds cool," he said and put his water bottle away. "It's cool your folks still got romance going on."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Last time my parents went away together, my mother came back with a baby inside of her," he added. "So I hope your parents have more luck."

I giggled. "My mom's 42, so the chances of that happening are really small," I told him.

"My parents were divorced, so their chances of having a kid were equal to zero," Chad said and then smiled. "And yet I still have a little brother."

"Are your parents officially back together?" I wondered. Chad shrugged.

"I don't know… I guess… I mean, they don't argue anymore… And my dad visits us more often than he used to…" he said and scratched the back of his head. "You know, when she went to see him in February, they talked it out and decided to try being a family. So I guess you could say they're trying to get back together."

"Do you think they might get married again?" I asked. Chad's face fell a little.

"Um, I don't know…" he said nervously. "Maybe? They don't really talk about it with me, so I have no idea."

"Would you like that?" I asked as I played with a blade of the grass. Chad cleared his throat.

"I guess… I mean, they've been divorced almost my entire life, so I sort of forgot what it's like when your parents are married… To be honest, it doesn't really matter to me right now. As far as I'm concerned, they could not get back together at all."

I raised my eyebrow. What he said really surprised me. I always thought he dreamed of his parents falling in love all over again and him having both of them at once. He always complained about having to travel to see his Dad and his parents arguing about the simplest things, therefore they weren't able to spend the holidays together. And now everything was fine but Chad still wasn't satisfied.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I've already had the childhood that I had – being torn between the two most important people in my life who hated each other's guts. Even if they got married again, it wouldn't change the past. It wouldn't improve my life in any way," he admitted. I turned to him.

"Maybe they're trying to make it work for Charlie's sake," I suggested. Chad sighed and leaned back, supporting the weight of his upper body on his hands.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he said and looked down. "Too bad they started caring about their kids just now. Nobody seemed so concerned when I was little."

I sensed some bitterness in his tone. I could tell he was hurt and I felt sorry for him. I tried to think of a way I could make him feel better.

"Don't say that, Chad," I told him. "They were fresh after divorce when you were a child. To be honest, it's good they separated. At least you didn't have to go through hearing them argue constantly."

"Yeah, that's true," he said with a sigh. "But still. It annoys me that they're just so selfish in their decision-making. They never think of me."

"I'm sure that's not true," I said. Chad shook his head.

"It is. And it's not even about my dad. My mother's the one who divorced him. She was her own attorney, so she got herself almost full custody of me. She took me away from Dad and dragged me all the way here. My grandparents only saw me once a year. If she wanted to get back at Dad and his family, she really succeeded."

"So, what you're saying is that… you don't want to be here?" I asked unsurely.

"No, no. I do. I grew up here, this is my home… Just now, when I look back at it… I was a kid, I had no idea what was happening. I knew Mom left Dad and that we were moving, but I didn't understand distance. She told me all about how I'd go to school and meet new friends, and that we'd move into a new house, and I'd have my own room, where I'd fit all my toys. And she said Dad would visit often. And he did, for the first year at least. During the day he'd take me to the playground and we'd play in the garden, but at night, when I was asleep, they'd get at each other's throats. So he stopped coming to see us. Instead, once a year, Mom would pack my bags, put me on the plane and send me to New York. She had to, because that's what they agreed on during the divorce – he had the right to see me as often as he wished. And you know, he wanted to see me more often, but he didn't want to get into anything with my mother. So instead of visiting us during the holidays, he'd just call and mail the presents. That was my childhood."

"Is that what you and your mother have been arguing about?" I asked hesitantly after a long moment of silence. Chad sighed and looked away from me.

"Among other things."

"Care to elaborate?" I wondered. He shook his head.

"No."

The way he said it hurt me. It really did. I got the hint I was annoying him with constant questions. And if I were him, it'd probably irritate me as well. But Chad and I were different. I was the secretive one, not him. I couldn't understand why he didn't want to tell me anything at all. I couldn't even think of a good reason for why he's been avoiding that subject. Then again, why did it bother me so much? Maybe I was just blowing it out of proportion, when in reality it wasn't a big deal. Perhaps that's why he just wanted to forget about it. My head told me to leave it the hell alone for the sake of our relationship, but my gut told me something serious was up. That was the only explanation for his weird behavior.

I bit my lips and looked down at my lap. "How about you provide me with a list of things you do want to talk about?" I asked bitterly. Chad sighed.

"Anything but that is fine," he told me. I glanced at him.

"Why?" I asked seriously, letting him know I wanted answers. Chad quirked an eyebrow.

"Because I just don't want to talk about it," he replied. "Why do you want to talk about it so bad?"

"Because you're acting weird," I said, a little too loud. "And I'm worried about you, okay? I want to know what's up."

"Well, I don't want to tell you," he said fast. I rolled my eyes.

"You don't trust me, do you?" I asked angrily.

"Of course I do!" he answered.

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"Because I just don't want to!" he repeated fretfully. "I just can't physically get myself to tell you! I don't want to!"

Instead of screaming at him, I gave him a fearful look.

"Is it that bad?" I asked. He took a deep breath to calm himself and ran his hand over his face.

"It's my problem, okay? I have to deal with it, on my own," he said and looked me in the eyes. "It has nothing to do with you."

"What about us?" I asked him. "Does it have anything to do with us?"

Chad bit his lower lip and stared at me for a second.

"No," he replied. "I promise, it doesn't. It's just something I have to… cope with. On my own."

I looked back down at my lap. His tone worried me so much. I was angry at him because I cared about him and I felt like he was ignoring it. I was scared something bad was going on with him, so naturally I wanted to help out. But he didn't let me. I felt neglected. I know that wasn't his intention but I really felt useless to him. I thought we could tell each other anything but that day I realized I was wrong. Everything had its limits. And apparently so did Chad's trust.

I didn't know what else to tell him and, quite frankly, I felt really uncomfortable sitting next to him. I was still angry at him but what scared me the most was that I felt like crying. I couldn't let him see that, so I quickly got up from the ground, grabbed my backpack and started walking away. It all happened so fast that before Chad even realized what I've done I was already ten steps away from him.

"Hey, hold up," he called and hopped up on his feet. He snatched his backpack from the ground and chased after me. "What the hell, wait!"

I stopped walking when he grabbed my elbow. I jerked my arm away and turned to him

"Where you going?" he asked. I shrugged, crossing my arms

"I just don't feel like talking anymore," I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, so you just get up and leave? Wow, so mature," he said sarcastically. I gave him an angry look and turned around to walk away again. Chad sighed loudly. "Tay, wait. Just… Why do you need to know? Can't you just be there for me for the sake of being there for me?"

That was another low blow. I stopped walking, took a deep breath and turned to face him.

"That's exactly what I've been doing, Chad. It's not my fault you're too blind to see that," I said seriously. He walked up to me.

"So what's wrong then?" he asked unsurely. I looked into his eyes.

"How do I know it's nothing bad?" I asked.

"You'll just have to trust me," he answered. I stared at his face and suddenly all my fears went away. The longer I stared, the more I understood what he was feeling. He wanted to deal with that thing on his own, but he still needed me there to comfort him. I knew he wouldn't lie to me. I could stop worrying, but that didn't make me feel much better. I was still hurt.

"Fine," I gave up. "I'll stop asking about it. I'll pretend it never happened. But if it turns out to be something awful, I-"

"It won't," he said quickly. "I promise."

"Don't cut me off," I said seriously and held my finger up. "If you end up getting in trouble or getting hurt in any way or suffering by yourself, because you didn't let me help you out, then, I swear to God, I'll beat the hell out of you myself. With my bare hands. Are we clear?"

A slight smile crept onto his lips but he tried to remain serious. He nodded his head.

"Yes."

"Good. Now, let's go home," I told him and we started walking towards the main gate of the park. Chad reached over to take my hand but I took it away and shoved it in my pocket.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shrugged and looked ahead.

"Nothing," I replied, although I secretly hoped he got the clue. But he looked like he did not.

"Was it something I did?" he wondered. I sighed.

"I just don't want to hold hands, that's all," I said.

"Alright," he said and shoved his hands in his pockets as well.

We walked down the street in silence. I don't think I was angry at Chad at the time. I just felt a little disappointed. But I also knew that if someone tried to butt into my business so hard, I'd be annoyed as well. That's why I decided to never get back to it. I promised myself I would ignore all his odd behavior and wait until he was ready to talk about it. If he ever was, of course. For now I could just enjoy the lovely ignorance and worry about my own problems.

"Hey, I saw you talking to Maya today," he said. "Did you make that deal with her?"

I looked at him and realized I did tell him about wanting to ask for Maya's help. He was so distant he previous day I was surprised he even heard me talk about it. He must've seen me talking to her during lunch.

"Yeah, sort of," I said. "I told her about our idea and she seemed to like it, so we agreed we'd meet after school tomorrow and discuss it in detail."

"That's cool," he said. "I told you she'd wanna do it."

"Yeah, she's really nice," I admitted. "She seems pretty devoted to the election, so working with her should bring us both success."

"So you guys… aren't awkward around each other?" he asked. I gave him a weird look.

"Why would we be?"

"Um… I don't really know. I haven't really spoken to her in a while… I don't know if she's upset with me or anything… I wouldn't want that to influence you and your life," he said. I shook my head.

"Don't worry, we're completely cool. We don't talk about you, so that's not a problem," I said. "My only problem is Paige, but that's not your fault either. She used to pick on me before."

"Yeah, but if it weren't for me, maybe she'd leave you alone," Chad guessed. I giggled.

"I really doubt that," I said. "Hey, why do you want to be the source of trouble in my life so bad?"

Chad laughed. "No, no. I don't, I really hope I never am," he said. "I just thought about you running for class president and realized that people might think of me when they see you. And I know that can be good, but also pretty bad sometimes… Like it is with Paige."

"I gotta admit, I worried about that too," I said and looked down. "But I figured that people are gonna hate anyways. If this is my chance to be something else besides 'Chad Danforth's girlfriend', I wanted to take it."

He chuckled. "I respect that," he told me. "I know you're an awesome, extremely intelligent person with a lot of cool ideas and I think it's time others realized it too."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. Chad nudged me gently.

"I think you're really brave for doing this," he admitted. We stopped in front of my house and I looked up at his face.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I know that my opinion of you isn't as important as your own, but I'm actually very proud of you," he said and looked down at his feet. "I mean, even if you don't win, you're still a winner to me."

I giggled at the way he blushed. "Wow, thanks," I said. "You do know you sound just like my dad, right?'

"Yeah, I just realized it," he said and scrunched his nose at me. He looked at his house. "I guess basketball practices four, five times a week are a bit too much."

"A tiny bit, yeah," I said. "But I appreciate it."

I stood on my tippy toes and pecked his cheek. Chad gave me a semi-satisfied look.

"What, not enough?" I asked with a giggle. He smirked and shook his head. I laughed and he leaned in to get a proper kiss. However, I didn't let it last too long. I pulled away and put my finger on his lips. "That's enough. You'll get more when you're no longer grounded."

"Uoh, comeown" he mumbled into my finger. I shook my head with a smile.

"You gotta get a punishment from me as well" I told him and took my finger away. "Next time you'll think twice before doing something stupid."

"I will," he assured.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Chad," I said and headed towards the door.

"See ya, Tay," he replied and made his way to his gate.

I walked into the house and closed the door.

"Taylor?" Mom called from upstairs. I put my backpack on the ground and took my jacket off.

"Yeah, it's me," I replied and hung my jacket on one of the coat hangers. I pulled my shoes off and Mom walked down the stairs.

"Good thing you're back," she said. "I just made lunch."

"I'm not hungry," I replied. Mom gave me a rather surprised look.

"What do you mean you're not hungry?" she asked. "I made lunch."

"I ate at school," I said and dragged myself to the living room. I dropped on the couch. Mom followed me.

"What time?" she asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know… Around twelve, maybe?"

"Tay, I told you it's healthy to eat regularly, at least five small meals a day," she lectured me. "It helps maintain steady metabolism and it improves your immunity. Do you want to catch a cold?"

"No," I answered obediently.

"Exactly."

"Okay, I'll eat, but later," I promised. Mom walked around the coffee table and started collecting some papers and magazines that were scattered all around it. I remembered something. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be asleep? Don't you have a night shift today?"

"I do," she said and picked up the pile of papers. "But I've already slept all night. I couldn't sleep any longer, so I did some laundry and made lunch for you guys."

"But by nine you'll be tired again," I said. Mom made her way to the hallway.

"I know. I have to leave around eight, so hopefully I'll get some more sleep before that," she said as she climbed up the stairs.

I remained on the couch. I couldn't get myself to move. I wasn't hungry, or tired, or lazy. I just sat there and daydreamed. I didn't even realize when Mom walked back into the living room.

"Don't you have any homework to do?" she wondered. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah," I said blankly. "I'll do it in a bit."

"Alright," she said. She grabbed something from the shelf and headed out of the room.

"Mom?" I said.

"Yes?" she called from the kitchen. I sighed.

"How do you know when Dad's hiding something?" I asked. My mother rushed back into the living room quickly; the fancy china in the cabinet shook audibly with each step she took. She stood in front of me and put her hands on her hips.

"What has he done?" she asked seriously. I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing. I'm asking, in general," I said. "I meant to ask how I can know when someone lies to me, even though they tell me everything is alright."

Mom's expression softened. "What happened?"

"I have a feeling Chad's hiding something," I said and looked down at my lap. "And I think it's something bad."

"Oh, honey." She sat down next to me. "Why do you think it's something bad?"

"Because he's acting very odd about it. He told me he's been arguing with his mother a lot lately and he promised it wasn't a big deal. But from the way he's acting I can tell something's bothering him. And it's gotta be bad if he's like that."

"Tay, I'm sure it's nothing serious. Men often don't like talking about their problems, even the smallest ones," she said. "Take your father for example. One day he shaved his head and wouldn't tell me why he did that. He said he just felt like that's what suited him best. It took him two years to admit that he did it only because he found a few gray hair."

I smiled at her story. "Yeah, well, Chad's different. He always tells me what's going on with him, especially when he's sad… At least he used to," I said and sighed. "Maybe he thinks he can't trust me anymore."

"Oh, come on, Tay," Mom said and stoked my arm. "That doesn't sound like Chad at all."

"I just don't know what to do," I said. "How can I let him know he can trust me with everything?"

"I'm sure he already knows that, sweetheart," Mom said. She leaned against the backrest and put her arm around me. "I think it'd be best if you just didn't pressure him and let him deal with it on his own. If there's anything going on, I'm sure he'll tell you once he's ready."

"You think so?" I asked. I rested my head on her chest and she stroked my back.

"Yes. Give him some time to figure it out," she advised. "We all need that sometimes."

"You're right," I said and hugged my face to her. "Thanks, Mom."

She hugged me back and kissed the top of my head. With her other hand she moved a strand of hair out of my face.

"You know, I talked to Janice today… You know, my friend from work?"

"Yeah," I replied. "What about her?"

"She said her son's been having problems with Math in school," she said as she played with my hair. "I told her you've done some tutoring before."

I quirked an eyebrow. "And?"

"And she said that if you were interested, Jamal could really use your help."

"How old is he?" I wondered.

"He's 11."

"That's not so bad," I said. "But I don't know, Mom. I'll be busy with school and the election and stuff… I don't know if I'll have time."

"Well, think about it. I remembered you talked about how you'd like to earn some money, so that's why I recommended you," Mom said. "After all, you're not making any money of tutoring Chad anymore."

"Yeah, it just didn't feel right," I admitted. "I don't know, Mom. I promise I'll think about it."

"I'll text you her number when I get a hold of my phone."

"Okay, if you see her at work today, tell her that I'll call her by Friday and let her know," I said. "If that's okay with her."

"I will."

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the comfort of having my mother cuddle me. It's been a while since we've sat down and spent time together like this. When I was little, almost every single evening, when she was reading a book in bed, I'd crawl onto her lap and fall asleep hugged into her. She would just stroke my hair and continue reading in silence. When the time came, Dad would pick me up and carry me back to my bed. And then one day I just stopped doing that.

Never knew I missed it so much.

Taylor M.

9 months is a lot. I know that. And I'd be surprised if anyone actually returned to continue reading this. I know I'm probably the worst uploader in history but I always have something going on that distracts me from things I'd rather do, like writing. I am one of those people who have trouble being up to date with their own crap. And I know that a simple "sorry" means nothing at this point because I always apologize and nothing seems to change.

But if you somehow ended up here and decided to read this chapter and are reading this then I want you to know that I'm working on it. I'm trying to find a way to make writing easier for myself so I can update on time and eventually finish this story. I really want to. You probably noticed I changed the format slightly (and if you haven't that's good too because you won't find this chapter odd). I also want to write shorter chapters so I can finish them faster and share them with you.

If you don't wanna stick around, I understand. At this point even I wanna punch myself in the face. But if you do make the decision to keep following this story, I promise I will do anything I can to keep it going. I respect you guys even though I know I've done everything to make it seem like I don't. But I do. I respect your guys' opinions and suggestions, even if it's just you telling me to get my crap together and write another chapter. It lets me know someone is waiting and someone still cares. So thanks for this! :)

I'll update again in two weeks, because I'll be away for that time and won't have a way to update sooner. During that time I'll try to catch up with the stories I read, too.

See you again in two weeks. And thanks for reading. Feel free to review and yell at me if you feel like it. I know I really deserve it. ;)

~TheCreativePenguinLover