Thanks to RasenShuriken 92 and The Unknown Twinkie for the encouragement!
Barren! The Leafless Tree!
Haku screamed as she plunged toward the earth hundreds of feet below her. During all the confusion of the Bijuu's battle, everyone seemed to have forgotten that she had been suspended in midair by the bloodthirsty Ichibi. Strong arms wrapped around Haku just before she hit the ground, and the two bodies rolled across the ravaged battlefield.
"Tsk, you shouldn't let yourself get caught like that. It makes you a liability."
Haku looked up into Sasuke's tired face. He was smirking per usual, and the two stared at each other, onyx eyes meeting pewter ones. Both were breathing heavily, and a brush crept over Haku's face.
"You know you want me," chuckled Sasuke. His haughty laughter was cut short with a well-placed knee to the balls by the ice maiden.
"You may be cute, but you sure as hell know how to kill the mood," Haku sighed as Sasuke rolled of her in agonizing pain.
Sarutobi Asuma finished off the last of the Oto-nin outside of the arena with a well-placed jab to the larynx. He sighed and thought, 'Finally, time to light up a smoke.'
Asuma reached into his flak jacket's pocket and pulled out a carton of cigarettes. He prepared to take one out when a ninja landed behind him.
"Don't you know you should never sneak up on a ninja when he's enjoying a smoke, Obito-san?" Asuma said as he placed the death stick in his mouth.
Silence.
"What?" said Asuma as he began to turn around. "No funny quip about how ninja shouldn't be smokers?"
Asuma finally turned around and dropped his carton of cigarettes. The one in his mouth slowly slipped out when he realized something wasn't right.
Obito was crying.
"Yugao-senpai!" shouted an ANBU to a purpled-head female wearing ANBU garb and the usual red commander cloak. "I sense two distinct chakras ahead! One of them is practically nonexistent though!"
Yugao nodded as they landed in a nearby clearing. Chuuko laid in a massive puddle of his own blood, and Lee was struggling to stand.
"Damn, whoever Chuuko-senpai was fighting did one hell of a number on him," another ANBU remarked as ANBU #1 began trying to resuscitate him.
"Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious," ANBU #1 replied.
"Rock Lee?" Yugao said as she steady the boy. "How are you still alive? What happened here?"
"I can tell you about my revival later," Lee said before relaying the details of the fight to the ANBU Captain.
"Yugao-senpai! I did my best but he's going to have to last until we make back to the village. I doubt he'll make it if we start moving him. His wounds could rupture," ANBU #1 said as he deactivated his jutsu.
Yugao kneeled beside the old-nin and kissed him upon his lips. [1]"Do you know why Chuuko-kun is always blurting out the chances of someone doing something?"
"Um, no. Why?" asked ANBU #2.
Yugao smiled and replied, "Because he wants everyone to know that no matter how slim the chance, there is a chance to succeed. Now make yourselves useful and bring our commander back to Konoha."
Kyo (with Gaara unconscious on his back), Harufuudo, Haku, and Sasuke arrived at the entrance of Konoha, feeling good about themselves for killing Shukaku once and for all. There moods were dampened when a ninja came running to them.
"It's horrible!" the ninja shouted as he stopped before them.
"Calm down, kit!" Kyo shouted at the scared Chuunin. "What is going on?"
"I don't know," the Chuunin murmured, "the Jonin won't tell us, but the rumor is that the Sandaime and Yondaime both died fighting Orochimaru!"
In a flash of yellow yokai, Naruto had replaced the Kitsune Lord and screamed, "Where are they?"
Three Days Later
"Now that we're sure Oto has been chased away from Hi no Kuni," Danzo said as he shuffled some papers in front of him, "give us a damage report, Shikaku-sama."
The Jonin Commander stood before the Civilian Council and Harufuudo and began, "Well, over 86% of the village has been destroyed in the attack. I already sent word to Nami, Suna, and Kumo for help rebuilding the village. We lost 2,000 ninja in the attack, including the Sandaime. The Yondaime, Masurao Chuuko, Momoichi Zabuza, and several others are currently in medically-induced comas."
Harufuudo chose to speak up t this moment, saying, "I can bring about four hundred Kitsune to Konohagakure to help protect you until the village is rebuilt."
"Hmm," Danzo murmured, "How many?"
"I just told you how many," Harufuudo growled in annoyance.
"No, boy, not how many Kitsune. How many tails will they possess?"
"My own council will only relinquish younglings; one to thee tailed Kitsune. My commander Hon'ei will be in charge. Oh, and if you call me, an 800-year-old Kitsune, 'boy' again, child, I'll not hesitate to kill you," Harufuudo stated.
"I think our first order of business should be selecting an acting Godaime Hokage," Danzo stated smugly.
Shukaku chuckled and replied, "It's funny you should mention that. Yondaime-sama wrote on this scroll (pulls a scroll out from his pocket) that should he be grievously injured, Hatake Kakashi should take his place until he returns."
"He's a Jonin-sensei!" Danzo spat. "He can't be Hokage as per rules!"
"I'm getting there if you'd be so kind as to not cut me off," Shikaku replied shortly. "Now, let me read to you………'Should Hatake Kakashi not be able to fulfill the duties of Hokage, Hyuuga Hiashi will take my place.'"
Hiashi gasped in shock; he never expected Minato to make him the Godaime. Shikaku smirked at the obviously pissed Danzo and said to Hiashi, "Do you accept, Hyuuga-sama?"
Hiashi nodded and replied, "Aye."
Shikaku smirked one last time before saying, "What's next on the agenda, Danzo?"
Three figures, swathed in black cloaks with red clouds and straw hats, stood on the wreckage of the eastern wall of Konoha, looking on with apparent shock. "I never thought Orochimaru would be able to do this damage to Konoha," the tallest of three said as he pulled a bottle of water out from within his cloak.
"What was once a prosperous village is now nothing more than a site to pity," the second man said as he absentmindedly gazed out on the ruined village.
"Heh, you miss your hometown don't you?" the taller man said mockingly.
"I sure as hell don't," the third figure grunted, though the femininity in her voice betrayed her.
"You don't miss your brothers, Hanayaka?" the tall man asked.
"Not at all," the woman replied snottily.
The bottle of water in the tall man's hand began to boil uncontrollably and he smirked in excitement. "It seems we've been given the ok to enter this rathole village," the tall man said.
The other man glanced off at a part of the village that was more run-down than any other part and slightly grimaced before saying, "Let's go."
The villagers had all assembled outside of the Hokage Tower to pay their final respects to Sarutobi Hiruzen, one of the greatest Hokages they had ever had, second only to the Yondaime himself. For Naruto, Konohamaru, and Asuma, the funeral procession was a moment that filled the three with more grief and sorrow than any other moment in their lives.
"*Sniff* He's gone," Konohamaru whimpered before crying once more. "You probably think I'm a weakling, huh Naruto?" the young boy whispered. He was surprised to feel tear drops hit his forehead. The self-proclaimed Rokudaime looked up to see that Naruto was crying just as hard as he was.
"Gramps," Naruto choked out between tears as he sank to his knees to hug Konohamaru.
Kakashi, Obito, and Rin stood with the rest of the ANBU, who stood with emotionless faces, though the solace in their hearts could easily be felt. The Sandaime was the man they all desired to be like when they were Genin, a man that even now, they viewed as invincible.
"Sandaime-sama was truly one of the greatest ninja of all time," Obito whispered.
"A real hero," muttered Rin as she fought to keep her tears from falling.
Jiraiya walked to the front of the crowd and gazed at his sensei's casket one last time before saying, "My brother Naiya and I never had parents. Our father died fighting in the First Ninja War; our mother died of grief. I was a wild, unruly child; no one could tame he anger and sorrow I felt at the world for stripping me of my parents.
"I was placed in a Genin squad that would later become feared worldwide, and the man who trained me was Sarutobi Hiruzen. I gave him more grief probably than his own sons, but he never gave up on me. He created the Gama-sennin; he became my father.
"My only regret is that I wasn't able to save him," Jiraiya muttered as he walked away, a solitary tear sliding down his face.
A Week Later
Jiraiya chuckled perversely as he spied on women in the hot springs. "Hehe, if they made 'em like this back then, I'd never leave the house!"
"Still being a pervert, huh?"
Jiraiya turned around to see Danzo standing behind him. The Toad Sage growled in anger before saying, "I'm just having some fun. You should try it one day."
Danzo chuckled dryly before replying, "I have some urgent business to alert you of. As much as we all want to cling to the fact that Namikaze will wake up, let's be realistic: he used up over 99% of the chakra in his body trying to kill Orochimaru. This is the second time that he's one such a thing. How he survived the first time is well beyond my knowledge."
"What are you blabbering on about?" spat Jiraiya.
"I'm talking about you becoming the Godaime," Danzo stated in an annoyed manner.
"Hyuuga Hiashi is the acting Godaime; if Yondaime-sama dies, he'll take over," Jiraiya shot back.
"Yes, and he's using his power to have the Hyuuga Council of Elders thrown in jail for crimes against humanity for what they did to his branch family [2]! He's clearly pursuing more personal interests than what is best for our home!"
"I'll make a deal with you," Jiraiya said.
"Oh?" questioned Danzo.
"I can heal Minato-kun. Give me three weeks to find a way, and if I fail I'll take over as the Godaime."
"Hmm, sounds reasonable," Danzo said, "You got it."
"Guess I'll be going now," Jiriaya muttered as he vanished in a swirl of leaves.
I trust you where successful in removing Jiraiya from the village?
"Yes, Leader-sama," Danzo said. "The fool most likely will try and find Tsunade, and during that time, the agents of yours tha I'm housing will snatch the Kyuubi away with no one strong enough to stop them."
If you honestly believe that's why I sent my four best agents to Konoha, you truly are a dumbass. I am not after Naruto…………at least not yet.
Kabuto and Tsumeato stood over the burnt carcass of their master, just waiting. He had third-degree burns over almost all of his body and refused to steal one of his minions' bodies. He wanted one body in particular.
"Orochimaru-donno, it isn't that simple," Kabuto finally said. "The Sandaime Hokage was the strongest Kage of the five. But to have killed the Yondaime Kazekage and the Sandaime Hokage………that is most impressive."
"You're such a pussy medic-nin," Tsumeato said angrily. "No warrior leaves a job half-done."
Silence.
Kabuto gulped and shouted, "N-N-No sir! I wasn't trying to console you at all! I was merely complimenting your skills!"
"I always knew you were a pillow biter, Kabuto," Tsumeato said mockingly. "You're just giving his ass a good spit shine aren't you?"
Silence.
"Do not play games with me you snake!" shouted Tsumeato. "I can't generate chakra without causing my life to shorten, thanks to that old man!
Silence.
"Then heal me, and I will bring you the woman you seek," Tsumeato said.
A snake shot from Orochimaru's neck and bit the Oto-commander right on his forehead. Tsumeato screamed as a vile black chakra consumed his body. The chakra faded, and Tsumeato sat on his knees, panting in pain.
"Damn, that feels better!" he laughed as he made a quick hand seal and a Tsuchi Bunshin appeared next to him.
Silence.
"Got it, snake," Tsumeato said as he began walking out the door. "Aren't you coming, Kabuto?"
"Why do I have to come?" questioned an irritated Kabuto. "It's your mission."
Tsumeato smiled darkly as he responded, "I need someone to keep that bitch alive until she gets here." With that, the Oto-commander walked out of the room.
Silence.
Kabuto chuckled and said, "He is a fool. Now you control his mind. It may have weakened you, but a small price to pay for such power, no?"
The grey-haired medic-nin walkedto the door and turned off the lights on his burnt master.
The three figures walked through the eerily quiet village, talking amongst themselves. They were searching for something, but seemed to be turning up no results.
"Gah!" the tall man grunted as he kicked a loose brick. "We've been here for a week doing nothing! I say we get a drink and enjoy ourselves at least!"
"I agree with fish breath," the woman, known as Hanayaka, replied. "I'm parched."
The other man, who seemed to be in charge of the group, sighed and relented, "Fine. Kisame-san will just keep whining until we do stop."
Hanayaka smiled beneath her hat and said, "You're the best Itachi-kun!"
Kisame grunted and muttered, "The youth these days have no shame."
"Awww!" a voice shouted in the distance. "Ookami-kun and Inu-chan are such a cute couple, don't you think Asuma?"
The leader, Itachi, cursed under his breath. "Damn it! That's Uchiha Obito! We have a flee on sight order for him! We need to hide!" the three figures darted into an alley just as Obito, Rin, Kakashi, and Asuma made their way toward their hiding place.
"I have to ask," Asuma said with a chuckle. "Are you two dating?"
"We're just getting some candy, Asuma-san," Rin said.
"I thought you didn't like sweets Kakakshi?" Obito chuckeld.
"He's trying to get Rin's sweets," laughed Asuma. His lewd remarks were rewarded with a knee to his privates.
"I'm tagging along because I have to meet Sasuke-kun not too far from here," Kakashi said to his best friend as Asuma roared and rolled on the floor in pain.
"Heh, never thought you'd be early Kakashi." The Jonin turned around to see the Uchiha heir standing across the street from them.
"I'm only on time for special occasions," Kakashi said with a laugh.
Itachi cursed under his breath as the Konoha-nin walked away. "What's wrong Itachi-kun?" Hanayaka asked as the leader walked out of the alley.
"Kisame-san, Hanayaka, go find Kushina and protect her. We've been made."
Next Time: Uncle Jiraiya wants to take my squad with him to find Grandma Tsunade, a legendary healer who can revive my dad! But where's Kakashi? He's never this late.
A Battle of Kekkei Genkei! Uchiha vs. Namikaze!
1- I originally had planned to make the Masurao Clan the clan of Hayate Gekko. I had planned for Gekko to be Chuuko, but scrapped him because my friend presented the more alluring personality of Chuuko.
2- Justice! Lol!