Each day something new manages to surprise me more and more. Douchebag offering me a ride to Lavender town is literally the madness itself.
"So, what`s the catch, Douchebag? Why would you condescend from the sky to us mortals and offer us such gifts, huh?"
"Shut up. Someone must help poor and retarded people."
"Thanks a lot, you`re too kind, your highness." I sarcastically replied.
"You know, I can still kick you out from the car."
"Not until we reach Lavender town, cabdriver."
Douchebag opened his mouth to say something, but then he stopped himself and continued driving silently. Maybe he understood that level of sarcasm is already critical in this car, and he should actually shut up. Both of us should.
After some minutes we passed the Route 2 and Viridian forest from the left of us and reached the outskirts of Pewter City. I guess he is going to take the long road around the cities to get back to eastern side of region. Well, he has a point – the only other way is through the Diglett Cave, and I`m not sure that the locals will be happy to see me again. I`m not sure if driving car through the caves filled with wild pokemon is a good idea at all.
"Where did you get so many entries for PokeDex?" Douchebag suddenly decided to start a conversation.
"Where did you get this car?" I quickly asked in reply.
"I asked first!"
"I asked second, I don`t care, answer me!"
"Ugh… It`s mine." Douchebag angrily replied.
"Really? I think it`s too expensive for you. So I really have no idea how you got it. Tell me. Tell me everything. You know how good I am in interrogating people."
"It is mine! I earned it with sweat and blood!"
"Douchebag, details, please, details to the story! When I came to you – you could barely have money to make decent repairs in your house. And now you have such an awesome ride. Who did you rob?" I wanted to push all details out of him, until the very last.
"I didn`t rob anyone! Robbing a robber isn`t a robbery!" And now his tongue went free, nice. I like such stories.
"And now continue from this exact place, but give a bit more details." I stretched myself on the seat, preparing to a long story.
"Fine! You know how I spent my first day as a trainer, after leaving the lab? I took my bike and headed straight to Viridian City, to my job. I came to my boss and threw all the compromising papers at him. I knew that he works with someone related to Team Rocket, and I could easily surrender him to the police."
"What? Team Rocket?" I questioned surprisingly.
"Yes! He regularly met some strange guys in his office after job. We had a rule to turn off all the cameras in the building but the ones in the hall, but I secretly watched for him. I know that he sold a lot of different medicine to people in black."
The instincts already made me shiver when someone says 'people in black'.
"Those people in black did not have purple stripes on the side of uniform?"
"No… They had the Rocket symbol on chest, usually covered under the coat or something. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, it`s nothing. Please, continue."
"It`s nowhere to continue. We had a deal that I take his car, some money and a box of pokemon medicals and he doesn`t go to jail. But I still have the compromises left, so if my supplies will end – I know where to get more for free."
Damn, this is exactly the opposite from what I expected to hear from Douchebag. Blackmailing, ha! I would have never thought that he can threaten someone with compromises. I can, but he can`t. It`s not Douchebag I knew before. It`s a completely different level of douchebagism.
"So, that`s how you got a shit pile of Rare candies and fed your Squirtle until he evolved into Blastoise?"
"Yeah, can you imagine that? The second day we are together – and my Quartz is Blastoise already! Brock had no chance against us. Your precious Misty had no chance against us. Even the electric leader from Vermillion City couldn`t do anything! Not to mention the girl from Celadon City! Grass-type leader lost to a water-type pokemon. The science makes wonders!"
"No way, you have four badges already?"
"Yup. Four more than you have!"
"Actually, I have three badges. But if the Celadon City gym is grass-type – it`s no problem for us. My Dumpling will deal with them all easily."
I can`t believe it. Douchebag have always been a cunning son of a bitch, but now he changed my opinion about him completely. Who could imagine that he will turn into this? Well, now he looks more like me, but for some reason I don`t like it at all.
"Let me guess… It was Misty who told you that I`m going to Lavender town, right?" I thought this could give me some answers, but also raise more questions. If he defeated Misty after me, then what was he doing all this time before the battle? There is something this guy doesn`t tell me. Something that could be important.
"Aha. And if YOU have found the courage to look into the infamous ghost town, so must I. It`s me who will be the first to catch a ghost-type pokemon!" He replied with determination. This idiot is challenging me again… I`m so tired of this, but I can`t give up.
"No way, Douchebag. The first ghost pokemon is mine!"
"We`ll see, loser. We`ll see."
The road to Lavender town was pretty long. We literally repeated all my way - passed Route 2 and Pewter City, Route 3 and the dark tunnels of mount Moon which are now cleared, Route 4 and the Cerulean City. But now Douchebag continued moving to the East, to the Route 9 and another cave called Rock Tunnel. Because of impassability of roads between the cities and constant traffic jams in the cities the road took the whole day and even more.
I had a lot of time to make some notes in my diary, read about new pokemon species in my PokeDex and even sort out how the TM case works. I stored my three TMs – Rock Tomb, Water Pulse and Shock Wave – and an HM Flash in it. I have no idea how four disks managed to fit in this thin device, but it actually freed some space in my pocket – although I never complained about that.
Unfortunately the machine stated that none of my pokemon can learn these TMs and just Harry can learn HM Flash. Well, this could be useful later, but his current moveset was pretty satisfying and I didn`t want to replace anything. At least, not right now.
We didn`t talk much. Douchebag didn`t care much about me and I didn`t care much about him. That`s the special level of friendship, I guess. To my surprise, he didn`t try to challenge me to battle or to any other stupid challenge where he promises to beat me. He didn`t ask any more stupid questions and didn`t even question me about my PokeDex anymore. We were just quietly following the road, stopping a couple of times to have some meal in the roadside café. When the night came, I moved to the back seat and even slept a little. I would never do that under any other circumstances, but Douchebag was busy driving the car and had no time for stupid jokes that I would expect from him.
In general, nothing special happened. Just once Douchebag tried to turn on the radio and we heard the news that the events in the daycare center on Route 5 are still under investigation. Something happened there a couple of days ago, soon after I left that place. But, I guess, if this was something serious, I would hear about it from the television news that PokeCenters show all the day.
Anyway, we finally reached the end of Route 9 and moved into the Rock Tunnel.
This place looked like the upper tunnels of mount Moon, but everything there was more of grey-colored. Maybe, there is more metallic soil than in mount Moon, where everything was just brown-shaded. It was pretty dark here, so we were riding with lights on.
To my surprise, there were a lot of different people – different hikers, mostly. I have no idea what they forgot here. Some of them were busy training their rock pokemon like Geodudes; some of them were battling each other. I think I also noticed some strange guy in a Charizard costume battling some young girl with his Slowpoke. The girl had Bulbasaur, so it`s quite hard to tell who could win there. Unfortunately, Douchebag wasn`t going to stop and let me watch the result.
But after a couple of minutes we had to stop. The light of headlights collided with a large stone blockage covering the whole passage.
"Oh shit, come on!" Douchebag swore loudly and stopped the car.
"Damn it, the road`s blocked." I declared the problem.
Douchebag left the car and shut the door fiercely and loudly. After a quick look at me, he turned to the rocks and observed it.
"It`s you and your damn bad luck…" He accused me while trying to move some of the boulders. I replied nothing and went out of the car. The cave was divided into some other tunnels in this place, and I also noticed some stones to be moved from the blockage to walls. Seems like someone already tried to clear the path.
"There are some more stones." I pointed at my finding. "Somebody tried to take them away." I repeated my thoughts to Douchebag.
"I see. But I don`t have time to look for him, we`ll finish this by ourselves! Quartz, come on out!"
Suddenly Douchebag decided to release his Blastoise to clear the path. Well, this looks quite smart from his side. I chose Harry to help him in this.
"Okay, Harry, let`s do this!"
My Weepinbell looked like he doesn`t like this place very much. He turned back to me and gave a questionable look. I can`t judge him – caves aren`t my thing too.
"We can handle this without you!" Douchebag shouted after Harry`s appearance. "Quartz, use Water pulse to break those rocks!"
"No, you can`t!" I replied to his scornful statement. "Harry, use Vine Whip for the same thing!"
Two pokemon started to attack the blockage, with Douchebag`s Quartz shooting blasts of water into it and my Harry whipping the rocks with vines. Actually water and grass-type attacks would be useful against rocks, especially this strong, but the rocks almost didn`t succumb. We spent some minutes trying to clear the path with our pokemon and them some more minutes trying to help them. I started to carry small stones that Harry broke from big ones, Douchebag soon joined me. Of course, we were all wet from water pulses and sometimes Harry managed to whip a stone right near our faces, but the work was moving. Very slowly.
"Damn it… We won`t finish this in a day!" Said Douchebag while whipping sweat and water from his face.
"This is the only road where car can pass." I replied. "We could abandon it and find the way through the other tunnels, if you want."
"Go to hell. Just three things differ me from you: availability of brain, availability of cool pokemon and a car. I don`t want to lose this."
And even in a situation like this he manages to find time and strength to joke around.
"And what if you did it together?"
Suddenly a low voice from behind reached us. We turned around to see two men with Onix and one more pokemon. Their faces were so alike I supposed them to be twins, and just a small scar on the left cheek distinguished one man from another. These guys looked pretty fat in all those thick and warm clothes, I guess, for mountain hiking or something like that. They had large beards on faces and backpacks behind them – looks like they are actually travelers.
"We ARE doing it together!" Douchebag replied to them.
"Not together. Your pokemon strike at different points." The left man with even lower voice replied.
"The water weakens rocks for grass to easier break them." The first hiker with scar explained. And he actually had a point here.
"Ow, aren`t you the smartest person in the world?" Douchebag said sarcastically. "Who are you, anyway?"
"Actually, we are a brigade hired to clean up this mess." The second hiker replied. "And as you`re standing right here blocking the way to our job – you`re interfering with us or just fooling around."
"The brigade?" I came a bit closer to him. "I wouldn`t say all that equipment is needed just to clear the rock blockages. Anyway, why there was no warning that the road is closed?"
"The collapse happened just yesterday evening. We don`t know the details, we are just called to clean this place."
I looked at the pokemon behind them. Their Onix was surprisingly small compared to the one I fought at Brock`s gym. And the other pokemon – I guess I saw him in my updated PokeDex. Graveler, if I`m correct, the next evolution stage of Geodude.
"So, you work with your pokemon?" I questioned hikers.
"Yeah, but we do it more successful than you because we do it together!" The scarred hiker said with determination.
"Oh, you`re again with this…" Douchebag annoyingly replied. "I don`t understand what you mean by that."
The two hikers looked at each other.
"Hey, Eric, should we show them how it`s done?" The second man said to the first with scar.
"With pleasure, Lucas. Let`s get started!" Eric replied to his partner.
"Oh, say anything you want, just do this quickly, okay?" I asked the hikers.
"Well, that depends on how good you are… And your pokemon!" Lucas suspiciously looked at me.
"Our pokemon?"
"Yeah! We challenge you to a pokemon battle!" They shouted together, and their pokemon moved forward and roared.
"Hey, I don`t have time for this!" Douchebag angrily said in reply. "Battle this one as much as you like, but I need to move!"
"Oh no, we need both of you." Eric cunningly answered. "For a DOUBLE battle!"
"Double? That means you two against…" I seemed to understand what they want from us a bit.
"Yes! Two our pokemon against two your pokemon. At once. Didn`t you hear about such battles?"
"Well, now I did. But do you see those guys?" I pointed at Harry and Quartz over my shoulder. "Grass and water. They will destroy you."
"We`ll see. We`ll see…" Lucas said almost whispering.
"Ah, screw you all." Douchebag swore and stepped forward. "Quartz, let`s finish this quickly. You," he addressed to me, "deal with Graveler. We will take care of Onix."
Yeah, he finally started to give me orders. A very expected move from his side, I have to say. Of course, I didn`t wanted to listen to him just because of my principles, and even wanted to exactly the opposite, but then I realized we don`t have time for this. We need to defeat these guys and made them clear the road for us.
"Harry, use Vine Whip on Graveler!" I commanded to my pokemon. We won`t lose to Douchebag… Even in a battle on one side.
"Graveler, attack Blastoise with Magnitude!" Lucas commanded to his pokemon. He doesn`t seem to like us divided into different targets.
"Ha! Quartz, use Water pulse on Onix!" Douchebag was sure that Magnitude – I guess, that is a ground-type attack – won`t deal too much damage to Blastoise, so he didn`t care about defense. For a moment I considered this strange as I know that rock-type damages water-types normally… It`s the water-type that is super effective against rock-type, but it isn`t resistant to it.
"Onix, use Rock Throw on Blastoise!" Eric made his command too.
The hikers decided to unite their powers against one strong pokemon. Well, Rock Throw – which is obviously a rock-type move – can actually deal some damage to Douchebag`s Quartz because water-types aren`t resistant to ground-types too.
The battle started as Douchebag`s Quartz shot a large pulse of water into opposing Onix from the cannon on his back and my Weepinbell stretched his vines and hit the Graveler pretty hard. We both landed super effective hits, and not just super effective – double super effective! As Onix and Graveler have both rock and ground types, the water and grass attacks that are strong against both of these types are even more painful.
But Onix and Graveler survived that attacks. What a tough guys… Graveler jumped on place and stomped the ground near Quartz, causing the land crush under his feet. The Blastoise managed to withstand that, but right after that Eric`s Onix grabbed a large boulder from the blockage with his mouth and threw right into Quartz.
"Dodge that!" Douchebag commanded.
Blastoise is a pokemon that definitely can`t be defeated easily. Also being a very powered by those legal-drugs, he easily jumped away from the boulder and dodged that attack.
"Really, dodging? Boooring!" Lucas commented Douchebag`s actions. "Graveler, use Rollout!"
"Quartz, dodge again and repeat the Water Pulse!" This time he began to be a bit more careful as he noticed the opponents concentrating all attacks on him.
"Harry, strike Graveler hard with your Vine Whip!"
"Onix, use Bind on Blastoise!"
The second round of battle began. Quartz made a step back, looking at Graveler and ready to dodge his attack. The opposing pokemon curled into a ball form and actually rolled to Blastoise, slowly gaining speed. My Harry managed to hit him once more, and this made Graveler to change his course a bit, and helped Quartz to dodge the attack. But right after that a long rocky tail of Onix hit him from under the ground and caught in a tight grip. Quartz snarled from that and tried to direct his cannons at Onix, but the opponent was too low for vertically-hold cannons to hit him.
"Great, Onix, now throw some more rocks at it!" Eric shouted with determination. I noticed that Lucas don`t give his Graveler any more orders, and just then I also noticed his pokemon still rolling around. Opponent may have missed the target, but he hid in the tunnel, rolled around the way and returned back, with higher speed.
And just after that I understood their tactics. They actually do this TOGETHER. When Onix is holding Quartz tight, Graveler will definitely hit him with this Rollout move. And if each time this will be just stronger and stronger, Blastoise will just lose anyway. They will repeat the same trick with me when my Harry remains.
Damn it… I can`t believe I`m doing this.
"Harry, stand before Quartz and use Back Vine maneuver!"
"What the heck are you doing?" Douchebag shouted irritated.
"I save your ass!"
Harry gave me a quick mistrustful look and quickly jumped between Quartz and rolling Graveler. As the opponent approached, Weepinbell caught him with vines and threw back, over himself and over Quartz. Accelerated both by Rollout and our Back Vine maneuver, Graveler crushed into the wall leaving a huge dent. After some seconds he fall on ground, beaten pretty well but still conscious.
And just when I returned my attention back to Harry, a huge boulder from Onix hit him right in the face, throwing back. Quartz watched for him as he flies away, and then stared at Onix and shot a powerful Water Pulse. Onix roared from the hit, but managed to withstand that too and didn`t even release Quartz from his grip.
"We can finish this! One more Water Pulse into Onix!" Douchebag shouted. What else can we do? Finish them, of course!
"Vine Whip, Harry. Into Onix!" I suddenly changed the target to finish off this Onix as quickly as possible to free Quartz from the grip. Anyway we will get rid of that disadvantage in mobility.
Hikers looked at each other again and nodded.
"Onix, use Rock throw on Blastoise again!"
"Graveler, use… Self-destruct!"
Self-destruct? What the heck a move is that? I don`t like it already.
"Oh no-no-no, don`t use that here!" Douchebag shouted suddenly frightened.
Graveler tensed his body and then started to shine in dangerous red light. A huge wave of energy blasted from his body, making him immediately faint, but also destroying all cave pillars in the damn room and causing the earthquake.
"Oh shit…" Lucas guiltily said and quickly returned his fainted Graveler back to pokeball before being crushed by a large rock falling from the ceiling. Some more rocks started to fall between us, causing the whole cave to collapse.
Eric quickly returned his Onix back too, and soon disappeared behind the another blockage. I noticed a large hole in the ground that left from the tail of Onix near confused Quartz.
"Quickly, jump here!" I shouted to Douchebag and grabbed his shirt, pulling to the hole. Some more stoned fell around them as we run to the hole.
"Quartz, return!" Douchebag saved his pokemon from another rock falling right from above. I saved my Harry too, and both of us jumped into the hole before another wave of stones flood the tunnel and cover us with dust.
I don`t know how long we were sitting here in this hole, too tight for two humans. Soon the earthquake was over, and we returned back to senses.
"Get off me, idiot!" The first thing Douchebag could say. I wasn`t very glad to feel his head between my legs, but I couldn`t do anything. The hole was closed by another rock from above, too heavy for me to move.
"Shut up! Give me some space…" I tried to take PokeDex out of my pocket, and this was quite challenging thing to do. I hoped to find a flashlight in it, but it seemed to have just slightly flashing screen. Well, it`s better than pitch black darkness.
"Ouch! Don`t flash this crap at me!" Douchebag complained and tried to look away from the light. Below him I noticed something like a tunnel heading down.
Of course! That Onix was with his head over the ground, while keeping Quartz in the grip from this side. That means the tunnel have to lead to the other hole. Hope this isn`t closed by rocks too…
"There is a tunnel below you. Try to turn around and thrust into it."
"Damn you…" Douchebag swore and tried to move a bit down. I finally felt some freedom and hurried to move behind him. It was dark as hell here, I could really use some HM Flash. But it isn`t the most fitting moment for teaching it to Harry right now.
To our unbelievable luck the end of this tunnel was free. We managed to appear on the other side of another blockage.
"Holy shit, my car!" Douchebag noticed some large boulders crushed his car. What a pity, I liked that car, it had very nice and soft seats.
"Looks like this is the fate." I said to him and turned around. To my extreme surprise, the explosion caused the collapse of not only the cave but also of the first blockage, making it hard but now, at least, possible to pass through the exit. "Well, we can move on now at least."
"These idiots ran away…" Douchebag said very angrily and headed to the exit outside of the cave. I watched for him with my eyes and then slowly followed outside.
The strong sunlight hit us both. It was morning already as we left this damn cave and got to the large hill surrounded by mountain landscape; from where we could see Lavender town down below.
Douchebag hurried forward ahead of me. Well, this guy never waits for his own destiny. This is so like me.
"Hey, what are you going to do now?" I asked after him.
"I`ve got to find the insurance office… And a gun." He replied with suspiciously calm tone.
"Okay, what the heck do you need the insurance office? This car isn`t actually yours, at least not in the papers."
"I don`t care. I need at least something to move on. I`m not going to walk like you…" He contemptuously said and accelerated even more running down the hill. I hope he will fall the hell down of it.
As for me, I took some time to look at the town. Something actually doesn`t feel right here, and I know it. People talk too much about it, and they talk not very inspiring things. And now I have to check that gossips by myself.
Well, no more time to lose. I made my step down the hill and headed to the infamous Lavender town.