Chapter XXXVIII- Against The Wall

Until The Dark

By Larissa Hyuga

Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer applies.

XxXxXx

Megumi woke up several times during the night and it didn't matter what time was it, when she turned to the right, she could always see Aoshi's blue eyes on her direction.

Aoshi knew the night would be long and it truly was. He emptied his head from the thousand problems and dilemmas he had to face and kept on watching Megumi the entire night.

xXx

Misao had heard patiently to everything Kaoru had to tell. She had also accepted the hugs and the sympathy her friend had to offer. She was feeling so battered, so useless… all her efforts, all her time, everything had been wasted. But he was the one she had always always loved so much. There was a slight feeling of being betrayed but as she listened to the other woman speaking and clarifying things, things Aoshi could never say, she understood better.

In the end, when she had cried all her tears, when Kaoru had firmly held her head, when she had listened to everything that had been untold, she closed her eyes. She just wanted to rest her head.

Kaoru watched as Misao's expression was getting lighter and lighter as her tears were flowing from her eyes and as words were coming out of her mouth. She had her reasons, Kaoru knew, but there was something different. Misao had also restrained a pile of emotions towards Aoshi, she had not told him everything she wanted to say, but she thought it was the best to do. When the girl slept, Kaoru placed her head oh the pillow and covered her petite body.

"What an ordeal!" she sighed.

xXx

Aoshi was not tired even though he hadn't slept that night. He could not have slept even if he wanted to, his brain wouldn't allow him such luxury.

Megumi, on the other hand, was immersed under all the blankets on the bed, sleeping and apparently safe. And would Misao also be safe?

He knew it would take much longer for the doctor to wake up and he only wanted her to rest.

After bathing, Aoshi prepared breakfast for two people. He couldn't take his thoughts from Misao though.

He had vaguely sipped some tea but he hadn't left the table until, at the expected time, a familiar timid knock was heard on the front door.

He knew who it was. Aoshi walked patiently to answer it tough.

A big pair of jade eyes looked at him, half timid, half scared.

" Shinomori-sensei." She bowed.

Aoshi nodded. Why had those eyes to be exactly like hers? He moved so that the girl could come inside.

" How is Takani-sensei this morning?" she asked, sounding very worried.

Aoshi sighed. " Still sleeping."

"Oh." She tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. " But… your child, sensei…"

Aoshi turned his back to her. The dark blue of her kimono was exactly the same shade Misao loved.

" She says the child is out of danger."

Saeko didn't know what to do. Shinomori Aoshi was much more distant, much vaguer that morning. Also, Takani-sensei would not be working that morning after yesterday events, she was sure. So, that morning there was no room for her in that house. Anyway, she was glad the woman doctor was better and apparently out of danger.

"Shinomori-sensei, I just came to see if Takani-sensei was doing better."

But Aoshi didn't seem to be fully listening to her, his eyes narrowed to the bedroom's direction.

"Megumi" he whispered.

Listening carefully, Saeko could hear muffled stumps. Better, steps, footsteps getting nearer.

"I would say Megumi is no longer sleeping." He stated coldly.

Aoshi moved as if he floated over the wooden floor, making his black hair and dark clothes turn into a shadow. Saeko heard a shoji door being pushed and a pale female hand was placed on the outside, reaching for some support.

Megumi only saw a ghost pass in front of her eyes, a tall black shadow was placed in front of her and when she blinked again, she could see and recognize the shade of his skin and the indefectible storm blue of his eyes.

"Aoshi-san."

He was fast. Both his hands were placed around her shoulders, wrinkling the thin fabric of her sleeping yukata.

"Resting would only do you good." His remark was dry and cold, as usually.

She almost blushed. " I know… but it is that I heard you talking outside."

His eyes shifted to the corridor where a shy girl was not standing. She waved timidly with a small smile on her lips. " Good morning, Takani-sensei."

Megumi eyed the petite young woman dressed in dark blue with her hair carefully braided right there, waving to her. She smiled in return and also waved.

"Saeko-chan!"

Only then Saeko could really notice. With a thin sleeping yukata, Megumi's belly was really sticking out! She tried to be discrete so that the others wouldn't realize. Yet, she was so beautiful! The pregnancy was well advanced and she had managed to hide it under all those layers of clothes.

"Working is not recommended to you today, Megumi." Aoshi stated.

"I know." She lowered her eyes. "But I am not that bad to be lying on the bed for the whole day. It gives me pain…" she pouted as if she were a small child.

He shrugged. It would really cause her more muscle pain if she were lying on the bed.

"I came to visit you, Takani-sensei, to know if you were doing well." The girl twisted her fingers under the long sleeves of her kimono, a clear display of shyness.

Megumi's expression tendered. She pasted a big gentle smile on her face and walked slowly to the girl. She placed her arm around the girl's arm and intended to drag her to the kitchen.

"Come and have breakfast with us, the food is smelling so good!" she said cheerfully while the girl, taken by surprise, was trying to find some balance again.

"Thank you, Takani-sensei, but I have already had breakfast! It is so god to see you are fine! I am at your disposal."

"Oh, no, take it as a free day." She blinked.

Saeko smiled, trying not to overlook at Megumi's belly. "So, I guess I will have time to do some errands mother has been asking me to do."

Saeko bid farewell and Aoshi accompanied her to the door.

The morning seemed lighter and brighter. When he was back, he found Megumi already on the table with a smile on her lips. He entered and her dark eyes shifted to him but the smile shone perfect on her lips.

He said nothing, only sat on the chair and observed nonchalantly as she ate calmly.

"I suppose you are not going to the hospital today either." He spoke.

Megumi's smile vanished from her lips the very second and she also stopped eating. She couldn't go to the hospital that day, she had just bled again, and she had to rest.

" No." her voice was weak and timid.

She placed the chopsticks on the table and looked thoughtful. What would she say that time?

"But… I have to inform them I am not working for a couple of days." Her voice was too low to an ordinary person to hear but Aoshi could hear it pretty well…

"As you should not leave, I volunteer to do it."

She smiled fondly at him. " Thank you"

"Excuse me." He said and got up. " There are issues I have to solve so, I must hurry."

She nodded and watched him go inside to change clothes most probably. She didn't mind standing up for a long while. She just stood motionless into the kitchen, feeling, trying to feel.

Aoshi dressed one of the suits. It didn't matter to him which one that was, they were all dark and looking the same. In front of a mirror, he adjusted the knot of his leaden colored tie and ran a comb through the black strands of his hair. He looked at his face reflected under morning light. He was looking restless, but that was only for himself. To the others, he should be looking cold and impassionate, as usual. His eyes seemed to borrow the leaden color of his tie into its shine. There was so much to be done yet.

He walked past the hallway and saw Megumi standing into the kitchen, keeping things from breakfast on their right places.

" Are you really fine?" he asked.

She looked behind and smiled to him. "Yes. You do not need to worry." She blinked.

Aoshi almost sighed. He looked down and stepped forward not before telling a couple of words to her.

" I will not take long."

She smiled again. " So, I will be waiting you for lunch." She turned to the cupboard once again. There was only silence.

" And… Aoshi-san, don't bother. The baby is moving." She beamed.

Aoshi nodded. He could almost smile that time to hear his child was alive and fine. He opened the door and walked outside.

As he had stated, the morning was pretty bright although the sky was a bit cloudy. The weather was not hot but it wasn't cold either, only that the air was filled with rain smell yet.

People were already on the streets, walking up and down the roads, smiling, carrying packages, walking to work and there were kids too, some going to school, other going to their dojos. He followed a group of students he knew where they were bound to. The boys walked happily, blabbering gibberish, laughing, expecting a lot from their classes that morning.

The gate of the dojo was coming at sight and Aoshi didn't rush, he walked calmly, nonchalantly, as if floating above the ground. He let all the boys cross the gate first and kept a certain distance from them. He saw Yahiko coming from the inside holding a bamboo sword and leading the boys to the inside of the dojo. Only then he crossed the gate. There wasn't anyone at sight at the moment but he knew she was coming. So, Kaoru showed up on the door, as he had predicted. She widened her blue eyes to him and greeted him with a smile.

"Aoshi-san, good morning."

"Good morning." He said in a low voice and approached.

Kaoru knew why he was there. " Misao is ending her breakfast. You can go inside and talk to her. I have to teach a class now, so pardon me."

He nodded and watched her enter the same door the boys had entered seconds ago. When she was gone, he stepped into the main house and walked silently. He knew where the kitchen was, as Kaoru had told, he could sense Misao in there.

She hadn't sensed him. She was on the table, having her breakfast all alone if it were not for Kenji playing by her side. She was still wearing a sleeping yukata, probably not hers. Her hair was braided once again as she usually kept it. He walked closer and she wouldn't have realized there was someone behind her if Kenji hadn't raised his eyes. Only then she turned behind.

"A-Aoshi-sama." She gasped.

He could have remarked that she should have felt him coming for se was a kunoichi but he didn't. She could not have felt him if he didn't want her to. The small Himura rushed and coiled himself into Misao's arms. She received him into her arms without taking her jade eyes from Aoshi.

"You look better today." He stated.

She half-smiled. " Yes. I slept well."

He was still standing only that now he was extremely close to her, his hands into his pockets, his disturbing blue gaze focused on something on the beyond nobody but him could tell. " You have to go back to Kyoto. Okina is worried."

She winced. " Jyia?" she looked down at Kenji and cuddled his head. "Or maybe it is you who does not want me here, Aoshi-sama." She said with her voice faltering.

Aoshi could have rolled his eyes, but he didn't. He stood motionless, not even his eyes blinked. " It is not so. I will take you myself back to Kyoto."

Her eyes grew wider. "So, are you also going back?"

He closed his eyes and tilted his head down. Then, he turned on his heels and started to trail back the way he walked inside. Misao accompanied him with her eyes, still waiting for an answer but it never came.

" I have to leave. We may be leaving in a couple of days."

She held Kenji closer to her as she watched, dumbfounded, Aoshi going away. He hadn't answered her question. Which probability would be true? Was he really leaving Megumi behind? After all she had heard from Kaoru last night, she didn't know what to think anymore.

xXx

Aoshi had many things to do that morning. He entered the Headquarters and sat on his table for long minutes, thoughtful. He leaned back on his hair and ran his strong hands through his black hair. He was feeling tired. Too tired for a summer morning. After signing a pile of papers he had to, after reading lots of assignments, he heard a knock on his office door.

"Yes?" he asked.

A faltering voice of a young male came of the outside. " Shinomori-sama. There is someone here who wants to talk to you. He is called Fujita Gorou-san, from the police."

Aoshi knew that name well. It was Saitou. So, the wolf had come back to Tokyo.

"Let him in" his voice was demanding.

The very second, Aoshi watched the doorknob being twisted and the door swung open. A tall, black haired man stepped inside with his deadly amber eyes always narrowed. He looked straight to Aoshi and walked slowly.

"Please, sit down." Aoshi showed him the chair placed right across from him. Saitou did just so.

The two men watched one another for some seconds until Saitou smirked." Always the same Shinomori. I see you are doing well."

"Aa."

His smirk widened. " So, I will be straight forward. There was a rebellion in the jail and some men were dead, others ran away." He stopped to check what impact that sentence would have on Aoshi. Bur Aoshi just looked as uninterested as ever, eying him with his cold blue eyes.

Saitou laughed. " My point is: Takeda Kanryuu can be dead as well as he can be out there, we still do not know."

Aoshi's eyes narrowed. Saitou knew it meant something. It did. Aoshi hated remembering that man, he absolutely hated. "When was it?"

"I arrived in Tokyo yesterday but the accident happened a couple of months ago."

"A couple of months…" Aoshi repeated vaguely.

" Yes. So, I could have brought you either bad or good news."

Aoshi leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the wooden surface of the table, both hands clasped together and his chin resting on the top of them.

"Is there a chance he is dead?"

"Yes, Shinomori. The problem is that it is too difficult to identify the carbonized corpses. But the policemen did find one that could match Takeda's appearance."

Aoshi sighed. Damned Takeda.

Saitou stood up and looked at Aoshi. " Well, I must go now, Shinomori. I apologize for you hadn't known it before. But the police is really believing he is dead. You haven't had any news of him, right?"

"No."

"So, that is a good sign."

He turned his back to the onmitsu and walked to the door. He placed his gloved hand on the knob and before opening the door, he glanced behind so that Aoshi could see his profile.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations, Shinomori."

Aoshi blinked. "Congratulations on what?"

Saitou smirked. " You and the fox lady. Your first son."

"Aa." Aoshi narrowed his eyes as he watched the older man disappear and close the door behind him.

Would it be possible that Takeda Kanryuu was really dead?

He leaned back on his chars and had his agile fingers massaging his temples. He closed his eyes for several minutes, concentrating on everything that was still to come. Should he tell what he had just listened from Saitou to Megumi?

Opening his eyes, Aoshi glanced at the clock standing at the corner of the room. One of those large western clocks the government men had spread all over the building. Ten- forty. He remembered he had volunteered himself to go to the hospital and talk to Matsuyama-sensei about Megumi; besides, he had also told her that he would be back for lunch and he was intending to arrive before lunch. Closing his drawers and making sure everything was in its place, Aoshi closed the curtains of his room and walked on the hallway. The building was silent and he found nobody on his way out.

The weather outside was even hotter that time. Nonetheless, rain still impregnated the air and the made its presence clear on the surroundings. Aoshi knew well the path to where he was going and in twenty minutes, he was into the reception area of Miksi hospital.

He walked decidedly on the white floor and asked the nurse if he could talk to Matsuyama-sensei. As the nurse made her way inside, he waited patiently, eyes closed, being totally nonchalant. In few minutes, the smiley nurse came back to where he was.

"Please, Shinomori-san, follow me to Mastuyama-sensei's room." She smiled and bowed, leading the away the same second he nodded.

They walked through a long white corridor full of closed wooden doors. One of the last ones had a sign with the doctor's name on it. The nurse smiled and opened the door.

The black haired man left his cushioned chair and came to meet him at the door. Aoshi bowed and he did the same, closing the door behind them as Aoshi came in. Smiling, Matsuyama-sensei led him to an armchair placed in front of his desk. But he was trying hard to fight anxiety and ask about Megumi, he was dying to know if she was fine after the other day events.

"Sit down, please, Shinomori-san."

Aoshi made himself comfortable and then, closing his eyes, he cleared his throat.

" I came here because I need to talk about Megumi."

Matsuyama-sensei smiled, entwining his fingers.

"So, be my guest, Shinomori-san."

He opened his blue eyes to look carefully at the doctor. His room smelled like wood. It was darker than the other parts of the hospital he had ever seen. Much darker. And filled with books on various shelves.

As Aoshi's features hardened, Matsuyama-sensei worried and remembered of the previous day. He leaned forward with a curious gleam in his eyes, trying to swallow his big worriment.

"I do hope she is better today. Yesterday I took her home for she fainted."

"Megumi-san will not come to work today, sensei." Aoshi stated blankly.

If he were not a self-controlled man, Matsuyama Nobori would have shaken. However, he was not aware that before him sat a trained man, able to recognize the slightest change in anyone.

"And, how is she? What is the problem?"

And if the other man could read minds, he would have realized hesitation in Aoshi. Should he tell the truth? By the voice of the other man, by his behavior, it was clear he was in love with Megumi. Did he have the right? Did he? Did the other man have that right? If he were given to displays of emotion, he would have clenched his fists at that time.

"She is pregnant."

Matsuyama-sensei felt as if he would fall from the world. A punch straight on his stomach that led him to an infinite breathlessness. And he knew a drop of sweat rolled down his forehead as his mouth went dry.

"P-pregnant…" he echoed and tried to focus his vision on the man before him. He could ask how, but it would have sounded too stupid. " Congratulations, Shinomori-san." His hand came nervously to his forehead to wipe the revealing sweat drop.

"Thanks" he mumbled. Aoshi narrowed his eyes. That man really loved Megumi.

Trying to dismiss any unwanted feeling, Matsuyama-sensei gave Aoshi a sad smile.

"She can be far from the hospital as much time as she feels it is necessary."

Aoshi nodded. "Thank you. I will tell her this. But she loves her work, so I don't believe she will be away for a long time."

"No, Shinomori-san, I, we all at this hospital admire Takani-sensei and want her at full health here."

" Thank you." Aoshi almost whispered.

Seconds lingered between the two of them while Aoshi analyzed the lost expression in the other man's face. Then, he decided to leave. Standing up, Aoshi seemed to have brought the other man back to reality. Matsuyama-sensei blinked several times and pasted an apologetic smile on his face.

"So, are you already leaving?" he asked, sounding embarrassed.

"Aa." Aoshi continued his way to the door. " I have spoken what I was asked to."

Matsuyama-sensei rushed to get to Aoshi and open the door. " Thank you for coming, Shinomori-san."

Aoshi merely nodded and proceeded to the outside. But, for his surprise when he was at the end of the hallway, he heard the doctor coming running after him. He slowered his pace and waited.

Matsuyama-sensei stopped by his side, almost panting. " Shinomori-san" he bowed. " I… I would like to … uh, ask you something."

Aoshi did not answer. He only waited to listen to what the man had to ask him. Matsuyama did not raise his eyes to look at Aoshi at any time. If he had done so, the other man would have realized how red his face was and maybe he could have listened to his heart pumping. " If you would allow me… I… I would… I would like to… to visit Takani-sensei… this afternoon, if it is possible."

Silence. It was as if Aoshi did not even breathe. Matsuyama-sensei felt all the blood in his body boiling and moving weird through his veins. " I… I am sorry, I beg you pardon, Shinomori-san for being so rude and indiscreet...I really."

"Aa." Aoshi echoed cutting the other man off. " I think Megumi-san will appreciate your visit a lot." He said without looking at the doctor.

Matsuyama-sensei saw only blackness and heard Aoshi's distant steps on the hallway. When the other man was gone, he smiled. A rueful and sad, but loving smile.

xXx

Megumi smiled as the sunbeams reached the deck of her house. The lunch was halfway done already and she was feeling much better. Her perfume was in the whole house and she decided to sunbathe for a while both to have her long hair dry and to fell a bit warmer inside.

Sure that nobody was watching her, Megumi let the kitchen door open and sat on the wooden deck, stretching her legs and raising her head to the sky. It felt nice. The rain smelled a bit yet and all her backyard was green. Closing her eyes, her right hand loosened the neck of her yukata so that her shoulders and collarbone could be exposed to sunlight. Then, she lifted the skirt of her yukata and her calves and even a bit of her creamy thighs could be touched by the light. Relaxing. Relaxing.

Aoshi walked down the lane with a million things in his head. Thanks heaven Megumi's house was now only a few steps away. It seemed incredible, but that part of the city was less hot, the air was less thick but yet, it was hot.

He opened the door making no sound. Not because he meant to do it but because years and years as a shinobi led him to always behave like that. As soon as he stepped inside, he let out a silent breath and removed his jacket, his agile fingers working in undoing the knot of his tie and then, opening the first button of his white shirt.

That smell. Perfume. And food. Both smells coming from the kitchen. And his mouth was dry, he needed to have water. Walking soundlessly, he reached the kitchen door and his eyes identified the first source of smells. There was food being baked. Looking a bit more to the side, the kitchen door was open and she was at the deck. The second source of smells - perfume.

Aoshi's expression could have saddened when he saw her smile and her closed eyes. So beautiful in the sun. So… enchanting. As she tilted her head behind, her long hair could almost touch the floor, falling from over the creamy skin of her shoulders. Shinning.

He approached her without saying a word. His expression could have saddened when he saw her smile and her eyes closed. And her hair… the nice perfume was coming from it. What if he could indulge himself a touch, a fast one? He would have touched her hair, brought those black strands near his face, to his nostrils and smell them, fill himself with that inebriating smell, kiss them and let them fall, slip through his fingers.

She opened her eyes slowly. And she saw Aoshi's figure standing too close from her. As if waking up from a nightmare, she abruptly moved and tried to cover herself as fast as she could, covering her legs and closing the upper part of her yukata, totally startle. Something flickered into his eyes and he turned his back to her.

"I apologize. I did not mean to scare you."

Recovering herself and standing up, Megumi smiled again. " Oh, you did not. I was only distracted."

Aoshi's eyes shifted to the grass outside and Megumi's ones to the floor. She bit her lip after several seconds and smiled again. " By the way, lunch is almost ready."

He nodded.

After few minutes, both of them sat down to eat. Aoshi put a small piece of that kind of vegetable pie, a new recipe Megumi had prepared, into his mouth. It was delicious. She really knew how to cook. He looked at her.

Realizing his eyes on her, she blushed and giggled. " What? Is this bad?"

He shook his head. " Absolutely not."

Should he tell her now?

"Megumi, I have gone to the hospital today and spoken to Matsuyama-sensei. He said there is no problem and you should stay away from work as long as you find necessary."

Her eyes rounded and her hand stopped moving with the chopsticks halfway from her mouth. "Is it so?"

"Aa. And… Matsuyama-sensei is coming to visit you… this afternoon."

If she had any food in her mouth that time, she would have choked hard. " Is… is he?" she asked with a faltering voice. She was blushing hard. Trying to dismiss her shyness, she hid her face in her hair and behind the sleeve of her yukata.

Aoshi narrowed his eyes in suspiciousness. What was that he saw her hiding? Was it really a smile or were his eyes fooling him this time? What kind of smile was that? He decided not to ask, maybe he did not really want to discover.

xXx

OMG…. I thought I would NEVER be able to end this chapter… /sighs….

ennov: sorry… I took too long to update. Cause the other chapters had been written for a long time and this one I really had to sit down and write! And now I have cable internet so MSN is not letting me write anymore/shoots msn

Ladie Galadriel: a PITY you stopped writing, girl! And THANK YOU VERY MUCH for praising last chapter/bows and thank you very much for your long review, I loved it! I hope you enjoy this chapter!