Title: If You Were Gay

Genre: Humor

Pairing/Character: Connor/Lester

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash, language.

Time Frame: Anytime

Inspiration: This guy that I saw in New York that looked like Andrew Lee Potts and had the kick ass awesome messenger bag. It had a rainbow VW bug on it. I freaked out, grabbing my Mom's arm and going, 'I want one.' At first, I think she thought I meant that guy. Lol.

Author's Notes: We're good…

Disclaimer: Ha, I wish.

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"Connor," Abby snickered. "Something you want to tell me?"

"What?" he asked confused.

"Your backpack. It's a bit um…fruity. Why?"

"Oh I'm not Abby," he sighed. "My black on ripped and this is the only other one I have."

"Why do you have it though?" she asked as she examined the multi-colored stripped bag.

"My mum got it for me a few years ago," he said causing Abby to break out in laughter.

"What did you do to make her get it?" she chuckled.

"It was a joke."

"Sure…"

"Oh sod off," he grumbled going out to the car.

--

"Temple, why are you wearing the gay flag on your back?" Becker asked him.

"My other pack ripped."

"Of course it did," he said shaking his head.

"It did! I didn't have any others."

"And the pink triangle?" Danny laughed pointing to the sew on.

"Oh, I didn't realize that earlier," Abby stated with a slight chuckle.

"Aw, come on you guys, leave him alone," Sarah giggled. "Besides it would be adorable if Connor was into guys. I've always wanted a gay friend."

"I'm not gay!" Connor shrieked.

"I said if you were gay," Sarah said throwing her hands up in defense.

"Whatever happened to gay pride?" Becker asked.

"I'm not-"

"Yeah sure," Danny sighed.

"Do I have to snog Abby or Sarah to get you guys to believe me?" be asked sharply, going over to were Abby was standing.

"Connor we're kidding you don't have to. Becker will ki-" she was silenced by Connor's lips falling onto her own.

He pulled away a few seconds later. "That was-"

"Weird," Abby finished.

"Yeah like kissing my sister."

"Like kissing Jack," she agreed.

"Well that did nothing to prove your point," Danny laughed. "Though, you did manage to piss off Becker."

"You'd be upset if he'd kissed Sarah," Becker said wrapping his arms around Abby protectively and pulling her back into his chest.

"Yeah, don't think about it Conn," Sarah told him.

"One of the guys turn," Abby laughed looking over at Danny.

"No way in hell," he said shaking his head.

"I've got an idea," Sarah smirked.

"Care to share?"

"Lester."

"Do I have any say in any of this?" Connor asked. He really didn't like that they were talking about him like he wasn't even there. So he had a rainbow pack. What was big deal? It was only a pack; it wasn't like he was wearing a bright pink shirt or anything.

"Not really."

"You are evil, pure unadulterated evil Sarah," he grumbled.

"Revenge for putting those insects in my locker. Pay back smarts doesn't it?" she smirked.

"We'll go get Lester," Abby offered, grabbing Becker's arm and puling him along with her.

"Lester, we need you downstairs. There's a bit of a problem," she told him, resisting the urge to laugh.

"What now?" he sighed. "Don't I pay you people to take care of the problems?"

"I dunno exactly what. Connor was going on about Christine and the anomalies and something about someone from the future. He was talking way too fast. Said it was an emergency and to come get you."

"What is that cow up to now," he sighed, getting out of his seat and going down stairs, Abby and Becker not far behind.

"What's this about an anomaly, Connor?" Lester asked going over to him.

"Sorry about this," he frowned, before leaning forward to kiss him.

"What the h-mhmm," Lester's protest was muffled by Connor's mouth over his.

The others were shocked when instead of pulling away like he had with Abby, Connor snaked his arms around the older man's waist. Lester eyes grew wider but then slowly eased shut, pulling the boy closer to him. Connor let out a soft moan when Lester slid his tongue across his lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss.

"Wonder how long they'll go at it for," Abby chuckled quietly to Becker.

The two seemed to suddenly realize what they were doing because they both jumped apart, wearing matching expressions of confusion on their faces…and maybe even a little bit of disgust.

"Oh don't stop on our account," Becker laughed.

"You do realize that the point that you were trying to prove is completely ruined now right?" Danny asked him.

"Well now we know why he and Abby never hit it off. I mean how many people do you know that can walk around every day wearing practically nothing and not have a relationship or even a one night stand," Sarah said with a shrug.

"Practically nothing?" Becker asked.

"Wow way to go Sarah," Abby sighed. "Yes Becker, we have to keep the flat hot for the lizards, well really just Rex, Sid, and Nancy."

"So you walk around in your knickers?" he asked, anger seeping though his tone.

"And a tank," she said innocently. "Nothing ever happened though, and I think we all just figured out that nothing ever will," she told him with a kiss.

Lester cleared his throat, gathering everyone's attention. "Mr. Temple, come to my office before you leave to discuss this little stunt you decided to pull," Lester told him harshly before going back to his office.

"Wonder how much talking will actually get done," Sarah snorted.

"Oh their mouths will be busy that's for sure, but I doubt they'll be talking much," Danny laughed.

Connor flushed a deep red and grumbled, "I'm going to go work on the artifact while you guys have a good laugh at my expense."

"Think someone should go talk to him?" Sarah asked once he was gone.
"Lester will…later," Becker chuckled.

"Okay, give it a rest. He's still my best mate," Abby said playfully hitting him on the arm. "Don't pick on him too much."

"You tease him more than anyone else," Becker told her.

"Didn't you hear what I said? He's my best mate. I'm allowed to. It's one of the perks that comes with the title."

"Well why don't you go talk to him then," Danny suggested.

"Good idea," she nodded.

--

"Hey Conn," she said going over and sitting next to him. "I'm sorry about picking fun at you, we all are. If you prefer blokes, that's perfectly alright. It doesn't change anything."

"You don't think it's weird."

She laughed, hugging him. "I've always thought you were weird."

"I really didn't know I was. How is that even possible? How can you be gay and not know you are?"

"Who knows, but does it really even matter?" she asked.

"I don't know. I don't fancy Lester though, that's just disgusting. It's just kissing him was different that kissing you or Caroline."

"You kissed Caroline?" she asked shocked.

"Why do you sound so shocked?"

"She's the spawn of the devil."

"Be nice, besides she apologized for everything she did."

"I suppose. So who do you fancy?" she asked.

"No one really," he told her.

"Well, at least now they'll be someone to have some nice girl-chat with," she said bumping her shoulder into his with a giggle.

"That's not funny," he chuckled.

"You're laughing, aren't ya?"

"Maybe," he smiled.

"Let's get back to work."

"I really don't like Lester."

"I know. You're eyes spark up when you fancy someone," she told him. "Happens whenever you see a Paul Walker movie. Odd, I never realized before."

"Paul Walker?"

"The guy from Fast and Furious," she offered.

"Oh those car movies you like so much. Wasn't he the police officer?" he asked happily.

"See there's that spark again," she said laughed, ruffling his hair. "He's cute huh?"

"Fine," he sighed. "Yes, Paul Walker is attractive."

"There you said it. Now we can go."

--

"We're sorry, Conn," Sarah said once the two returned. "Aren't we guys?" she asked, throwing a look at the others.

"Yeah, if you're into blokes who are we to say something about it?" Becker told him.

Abby smiled, mouthing a 'thank you' to him.

"Though please tell us you don't fancy Lester," Danny asked him.

"Course not," he said, a bit of disgust in his voice.

"He's more of a Paul Walker kind of guy," Abby laughed.

"Oh, he's cute," Sarah said, her voice that of a silly school girl.

"No, no Sarah, he's way past cute," Abby told him.

"You gonna jump in on that conversation?" Becker asked.

"No way in hell. I'm going to go to the gym. I was slow the other day," Connor told him with a slight grumble.

"Hey, you'll thank me when working out saves you life," Danny told him. "Come on, Becker and I will come too. Becker was even a bit slower the other day. Think it might have more to do with Abby though."

"What do you expect? She wasn't feeling good the day before. I just wanted to keep an extra eye on her," Becker whispered to the two.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need you to protect me?" she said glaring up at him.

"Okay, how did you even hear that? I was whispering and you were on the other side of the room," he gaped.

"We all have things that we can hear from a mile away. For instance, mine is lizards or someone to protect me, or nice hot cuppa tea. Sarah's is insects or Danny and yours Becker is guns or bombs and the likes."

"Or Abby," Sarah added.

"Oh," Becker nodded.

"Becker, you coming?" Danny called, already halfway down the hallway.

"Yeah," he shouted back. "Bye girls," he said, before following the guys to the gym.

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Ending = suckish. Oh well.

Spike.