November brought Nutcracker season and Meredith was more unsure of her rolls than she had ever been in her life. She shouldn't have been though; she was cast in three and one was a principal role. Party-goer, Solosit Snowflake, Soloist Waltz, and Arabian female, with Derek as her Arabian counterpart. She was pleased with herself, hearing congratulations as she headed to company class that morning, pulling a sweater over her head and leg warmers over her pointe shoes, settling into the place she had created for herself at the barre. She melted into the familiar motions she had perfected over her entire life. Plie, stretch. Plie, stretch. Grand plie, stretch. Cambre forward, cambre back, tendu second, and stretch. Plie, stretch, plie, stretch…It was second nature to stand at the barre and perform these motions by now.
After barre they moved right into rehearsals, starting with Snow. As soloist, she and Lexie were the first two snowflakes onto the stage, leading everyone else, and again they had those annoying pomp oms that drove her inside and always tangled with everyone else. Derek and Mark stood at the perimeter of the room, watching their wife and fiancée dance with such passion and they just smiled, noting how similar the two sisters were despite how much they protested about it.
As always Snow was long and technically difficult, but they learned it in one rehearsal, knowing they had many to fine tune it. Meredith gravitated towards Derek, who held out her ice-cold water bottle which she greedily gulped.
"It looks like shit," she pouted. The corps was made up of apprentices and corps members; Maggie and her friend Gisele were two of them and she adored both of them, they weren't the problem, it was more the junior corps members. he senior ones were getting jucier roles, like the dolls and act II corps, but everyone started in Snow because it prepared you for other roles – it was fast paced and long, giving you enough stamina.
"It does not look like shit, and you and Lex are amazing. Your dancing is in sync with each other, you anticipate each others every move. Almost like you were sisters," he joked, and Meredith rolled her eyes and slapped his arm as Mark laughed.
"Not funny, she is my sister, now she's infiltrating my brain while I dance?" she smirked. Soon they were being called into the other studio to learn Arabian which Meredith was excited for, it was something she had never danced and had never dreamed to dance. It required so much flexibility and she never thought she had it, but Derek insisted she had it.
"Meredith, for Christs sake you can lay on your stomach and bend your head back and it can touch your ass," he whispered as they got into position to walk on stage. Every movement was sensual, calculated, and articulated, with severe backbends while she was on pointe and Meredith couldn't believe she had doubted her abilities as she executed the steps and motions of the beautiful dance, placing a hand on Dereks face and bourreing around him in a circle. She had no idea what her costume would look like but she couldn't wait for them to match each other, as he held her arms and she slid into a center split, before moving forward, legs back, before swinging them around. Soon the dance was over and the couple walked away from the center of the studio, their choreographer happy with their work. She knew later on they'd have to go over the dance again but for now Meredith had a few minutes to rest before she had to do Waltz. Sliding down against the wall, she wiped at herself with a towel and retied the ribbons on her pointe shoes, drinking the water Derek gave her. There were several dances to rehearse before Waltz and she felt herself spacing out as she watched the talent around her dance. Lizzie slid down beside her and wrapped her arm around Mer with a smile, hugging her close.
"So what do you think so far? You survived fall season, what do you think of Nutcracker season?" she asked her, and Meredith stifled a yawn, laughing a little bit.
"Its tiring but I've never been Arabian before, which is kind of exciting. I like that I get to dance with Derek without having a massively huge lead role," she smiled, leaning against Lizzie and putting her head on her shoulder. Liz was Sugar Plum so she had a huge role, and one of the younger, shorter soloist girls was Clara. Meredith was too tall now to ever be Clara again but after two runs, one at the Royal and at PNB, she was sated, unless ABT asked her again next year or something since at almost 22, she still looked like she was 12. Derek looked down at his sister and wife, subtly taking a photo og the two of them, Meredith with her eyes closed out of exhaustion and Lizzie holding her close. Amelia was dancing as lead Marzipan; she was also Snow Queen, having a pas de deux with Owen before waltz of the snowflakes.
Eventually Flowers was called and Mer got up, all of the flowers put into places. She and Lexie were once again soloists, with fellow soloist Skylar Brandt as Dew Drop, and they were taught the dance. It wasn't much different from the Flowers dance they already knew so she settled into the choreography easily enough; it was just another endurance dance and Meredith was sweating and out of breath by the time they took the ending pose. Julie, one of the company teachers, was pleased with them and told them to take a break, and they'd run everything from Snow on again. Meredith flopped down under the barre again and started gulping water; she was just done with rehearsals today and was exhausted. She wanted her bed. And alcohol. In that order.
After rehearsal they all headed home, Meredith wanting to fall asleep on the walk back to their apartment, with Amelia and Owen excitedly leading the way. They only had a few weeks until opening night, the night after Thanksgiving, and Meredith was nervous. It was one thing to dance every night in different ballets, but to dance in the Nutcracker was completely different. People from all over the world came to see the famous ballet company and Meredith didn't want to disappoint. As the seven spilled into the apartment and headed for their showers, Meredith contemplated running. She was absolutely terrified she would screw this up as she stripped off her layers and her leotard and tights, stepping into the huge shower. A few minutes later, Derek stepped in with her and she sighed, massaging her lavender shampoo into her hair.
"What if I fuck it up? What if I slip on the fake snow and fall flat on my face? What if I screw up our pas, or I mess up Waltz?" she expressed, rinsing her her hair and blinking through the water at him. He was shampooing is own hair and turned to look at her, gripping her by the shoulders.
"Mer, you've been doing Nutcracker since you were six. That's most of your life and you haven't screwed up anything yet," he promised her, and she wrinkled her nose as she washed her body and used conditioner.
"Yeah but this is ABT. Kevin is banking on me, if I screw up I don't get big roles," she pointed out, and he rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Since when is the Meredith I know bothered by big roles?" he said, and he had a point. It was never about the roles, it was about dancing, and she didn't know when it had become about the roles and she huffed for a moment, breezing past him and out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel before heading into the bedroom.
"It's not about the damn roles," she yelled back at him as she got dressed in shorts and a Royal Ballet long sleeved shirt, before heading downstairs into the kitchen for a glass of wine. She wasn't the only one, it seemed, Amelia was there with a bottle of vodka she was drinking straight from and Lexie was drinking red wine while she planned her wedding. Maggie, 16 years old and the youngest of the group, was sipping on a cider, and normally Meredith would go into protective mode and chide her for it, but she just didn't care, she was mad at Derek and herself as she pulled a new bottle of white wine out of the fridge and poured herself a hefty glass of prosecco.
Amelia raised an eyebrow at her and she stared her down.
"What? Derek and I had a fight. What's your excuse?" she said, nodding to the bottle of vodka Amelia was drinking straight. Amelia shrugged.
"Owen and I had a fight," she simply said. Apparently the three boys were sitting upstairs stewing in their anger as their women drank. Meredith sighed and leaned over the countertop, peeking at Lexie's plans. "Are you having it here or Seattle, Lex?" she asked her sister, sipping on her massive glass of wine. Lexie looked up with a smile.
"It's going to be here in New York, Seattle is too dreary for a summer wedding," she smiled, and Mer smiled back. It was true, but her summer wedding in Seattle had gone perfectly and it had been sunny and warm, somehow.
"Are Thatcher and Susan okay with that?" she asked, the names of her dad and step-mother rolling off her tongue. It was weird saying their names, seeing as how she almost never talked about them, even if they had already visited NYC several times and Meredith and Derek had joined them for dinner a few times at that. Lexie shrugged her shoulders.
"It's my wedding, they just want me to be happy. Oh! Did I tell you Molly is an apprentice at PNB now? She's been begging to audition for ABT but Mom and Dad said no," she smirked. Meredith downed the rest of her glass of wine and laughed.
"Oh of course. Maybe she'll do the summer program," she shrugged.
"Night guys. Amelia, be careful," she said, before heading upstairs and down the hall to face Derek.
Thanksgiving was uneventful, with all the Shepherd girls and the magnificent seven piling into the Shepherds, but they were all anxious about Nutcracker the next say, and Kathleen was absent as she had to stay in England
The next day they had class as usual, doing a dress rehearsal before everyone took a break for dinner. The seven ran to their favorite restaurant and carb-loaded, before walking in the light rain back to Lincoln Center to get ready for the show. Meredith took great care with her makeup for Act 1 where she played one of the adult party goers, but that scene went by fast. It was Snow she was worried about, as she quickly got out of her ballgown and slid into the delicate white tutu – it wasn't quite a platter tutu like the lead, but her shorter romantic tutu defined her as a soloist. Lizzie was pinning her tiara onto her head as she swept sparkly dust onto her cheeks and collarbones, adding pale blush eyeshadow to enhance her eyes. When she stood up she looked in front of the mirror; pointe shoes were already on, sticking out under her sparkly tutu and she smiled. She was back in her element as Amelia fluffed out her tutu, Lexie rushing up and standing in the doorway.
"Mer! We only have five mintues! Amelia, come on, you have the pas!" she cried out, and the three girls ran up to the stage just in time. Meredith took a dip in the rosin box and stood in the front wing, the wing she was supposed to come out of, as Lexie dipped in next and hugged Meredith.
"Merde!" she told her, before running behind the stage to the other wing across from her.
Meredith looked around and found Amelia and Owen in another wing, and squeezed them both tightly.
"Merde, sister," she smiled at Amelia, who would always be one of her favorite people. Amelia burst into a smile and hugged her close.
"Merde! I never thought I'd be dancing here, and I owe you everything, she told her, their tutu's smashing together. The music started and Owen led Amelia onstage, and Meredith watched the romantic scene, her hands clutched over her heart. She felt someone behind her and she looked up to see Derek, dressed in his pants for Arabian. He wrapped his arms around her as he watched his baby sister dance with what he assumed would be her future husband, and suddenly the music was changing and Meredith was shaking him off, waving goodbye as she was bourreing onto the stage with a smile, twirling around and throwing two fistfuls of the fake snow in the air, sparkling on the stage. Everyone in the audience knew of the Grey sisters, and they watched the girls lead the dance as more snowflakes jumped and soared onto the stage until there were 20 girls on the stage, plus Amelia as their queen. Meredith suddenly knew she was no longer in Pacific Northwest Ballet, anymore.
Intermission was a good way to get the fake snow out of everything; her hair, down her costume, and her skin was coated with it. She slipped into her Arabian costume; it consisted of a pair of blush, gauzey pants that were delicately embroidered and beaded but didn't constrict her movement, and a matching crop top that had drapes on her arms that were held in place with elastic bands at her elbows and wrists. She wore an elaborate grown with a flowing veil in the back, and as she tested the strength of her pointe shoes, she felt beautiful. Derek's costume were simply gauzey, beaded and embroidered pants in a darker color, and as the lights flashed backstage, signaling the end of intermission, she ran up to the wigs to meet him.
"You look stunning," he smiled at her, catching her hands as she practiced a turn in the costume; he caught her by the waist and held her ten feet off the ground, a position she was used to being in. The angels were on now, playing Clara and the Prince into the land of sweets, and Lizzie was dismissing the angels and welcoming the Act II dancers into her world. Meredith and Derek ran on and bowed to Lizzie, Clara – or really, her name was Rachel, and the Prince, before running back off. But it seemed like no time at all that they were slinking on stage for their dance.
Arabian was the one slow and sensual dance of the entire ballet. Meredith was on pointe and Derek was shirtless, and with the two of them married, the choreographer had taken the liberty to work with that. They had come up with a beautiful dance full of lifts, closeness, and sensuality that Meredith had fallen in love with, and they both danced their hearts out – even Lizzie was more impressed with her little brother and his tiny wife, who was a force of nature.
After their dance they slunk off the stage again in typical Arabian fashion, and Meredith was pleased with how they did, celebrating as she got into her fluffy Waltz costume. It was a pink pepto bismal leotard with three layers of different colored pink tulle for the skirt, her now-dirty pink pointe shoes sticking out the bottom. She, Lexie, Maggie, and Maggies friend Gisele posed for a picture that Derek took, while Amelia stood by in her Marzipan costume, rolling her eyes.
"Oh come on Amelia, you wish you were part of the Waltz Squad," Maggie teased her, sticking out her tongue as Ameila rolled her eyes and ran back upstairs for Marzipan, while the Waltz girls stuck around for a few more minutes, fluffing up their tutu's and giggling. On their way to the stage, Meredith grabbed Lexie's hand and smiled.
"I'm really, really glad you're my sister, Lex, and I get to dance with you every day," she smiled, before the girls took their spots in their opposite wings again. Mother ginger finished and the opening strains of Waltz of the Flowers started and the girls stepped out into a pose, starting the dance as all twenty dances formed a flower that the Dew Drop Fairy stepped into. The dance went off without a hitch and soon they hit their final pose; Derek grabbing Meredith and supporting her from behind. There were only four men in the dance plus a man for Dew Drop, and Meredith and Lexie got lucky with Mark and Derek. They ran off stage so Lizzie as Sugar Plum could do the next few dance and suddenly they were doing the finale and it was all over.
Meredith was amazing by how the ballet had flown by, and she was washing out her hair and styling it, redoing her makeup into something that didn't look comical and slipping into a black strapless silk and tulle dress to mingle with the audience. She rolled her wet hair up into a pretty style and pinned it how she liked it, slipping her wedding rings back on and putting her feet into a pair of heels. Liz and Amelia dressed accordingly and soon they were in the main reception hall, mingling with everyone and waiting for the men. Kevin, as always, was lurking around the room, making sure his patrons were happy and his ballerinas were pleased. He came up to the girls with a smile, and Meredith smile up at him happily.
"Ladies..Elizabeth, Amelia, Meredith. Spectacular job tonight, you're all beautiful up there." Meredith was tight lipped and smiled as she drank her glass of wine.
"Just wait until you see the plans I have for you all for spring," he smiled, before moving on. Meredith relaxed a bit, glad she didn't have to talk to him. It wasn't that she minded him, she just hated how hard a bargain she'd driven when coming here and feeling like she was on a constant trial basis.
Mark, Owen, Derek, Lexie, and Maggie stumbled out next and found them, and Meredith whipped around to find Derek's arms. She had survived opening night of American Ballet Theater's Nutcracker and she had survived it in one piece.
Ahhh this ended up being over 3000 words, oops! I hope you liked it! I try to switch Nutcracker up every time but it gets so boring every time even though I have to do it! It's a staple of every year ;)